Pharyngula: Ten things I hate about commandments

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« More bigotry masquerading as religion | Main | So … the Dutch have their crazy Bible nuts, too »

Ten things I hate about commandments

Category: Humor
Posted on: April 28, 2007 3:21 PM, by PZ Myers

Can I just say that a remake of this movie with Samuel L. Jackson as the voice in the burning bush would be awesome?

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I watched Snakes on a Plane solely because Samuel L Jackson is in it. Bad mistake. That movie was baaad.

Posted by: Christian Burnham | April 28, 2007 4:30 PM

This is going to be a really bad joke, but I can't really resist it :)

First commandment:
"Thou shalt not worship any bad motherfucker god but me"

Posted by: Luis | April 28, 2007 4:31 PM

So much more persuasive than the original.

Posted by: Zeno | April 28, 2007 4:34 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CB1ruv1n8U

Posted by: Sarcastro | April 28, 2007 4:35 PM

"I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking Garden of Eden!"

Posted by: Chris Clarke | April 28, 2007 4:58 PM

Chris Clarke: ow, the funny, it burns! My husband is going to wander in here and ask why I'm laughing instead of working on this article I've been breaking my skull over; thanks for getting me in trouble.

Posted by: RedMolly | April 28, 2007 6:00 PM

I think most of the old testament would be so much more entertaining if S.L.J. took a go at it. Just think of his quoting scripture in "Pulp Fiction." We could even reunite him with Tarantino to see what Q.T. does with an ultra-violent source material.

Posted by: Teapot In Orbit | April 28, 2007 6:13 PM

I'd like to see them add a scene with the Top Ten Rejected Commandments. Any suggestions?

Posted by: Susan B. | April 28, 2007 6:35 PM

That made me laugh, but "Must Love Jaws" made me laugh harder.

This made me laugh harder still:

I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking Garden of Eden!

Really, I'm wiping tears from my eyes right now. That was too much funny for one day.

Posted by: Dustin | April 28, 2007 6:57 PM

#10

I like the one for The Shining ("Shining") best.

Posted by: craig | April 28, 2007 7:08 PM

#11

This is one of the first phoney movie trailers I saw on the web, and it's still one of the best ones (the one recasting Mary Poppins as a horror film is also good).

Posted by: False Prophet | April 28, 2007 7:11 PM

#12

Aw, shucks, it didn't even use the very best part of the movie: Edward G Robinson in a dress. Bummer.

Posted by: Chakolate | April 28, 2007 7:24 PM

#13

This is freaking hilarious. I wonder if they hired the actual movie trailer-voice guy.

Posted by: andyo | April 28, 2007 8:58 PM

#14

Before the comedy, there was "Big Brother", starring everyday guys like Abraham and Noah.

The followup will be an easy game show, "Ten reasons gods blow and commandments sucks". The competitive element will be to avoid mentioning the many usual reasons.

Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson | April 28, 2007 11:12 PM

#15

What is so amusing about atheists, is that after telling me there is no God to tell me what to do...they start trying to tell me what to do!

Posted by: Darwin Youth | April 29, 2007 2:23 AM

#16

God I hope the troll food has been contaminated with melamine.

Posted by: Dustin | April 29, 2007 3:25 AM

#17

What you talkin' 'bout, Darwin Youth?

Did you post in the wrong infidel thread?

Posted by: andyo | April 29, 2007 3:27 AM

#18

Hmmm... no response. Clearly, he is dead from melamine induced kidney failure. This was either an answer to my prayers, or the result of GW firing 1,200 food inspectors at the beginning of his ~~Presidency~~ vacation.

Halleluja! I'm not sure whether I should ask God to bless hands-off ultracapitalism or himself. I'll just ask for a pony instead.

Posted by: Dustin | April 29, 2007 3:41 AM

#19

"Aramaic, motherfucker. Do you speak it?"

Posted by: markbt73 | April 30, 2007 12:30 PM

#20

Another Left Behind bites the dust. Or was he a Right Behind?

Posted by: Steve_C (Secular Elitist) FCD | April 30, 2007 12:50 PM

#21

I don't watch many popular movies, but I'd see that.

Posted by: Keith Douglas | April 30, 2007 1:27 PM