Did you take communion today?
Category: Humor
Posted on: June 10, 2007 12:00 PM, by PZ Myers
Just something for you zombie cannibals to think about.
(via Gimme back my god!)
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« Thirty eight commandments? I can't even keep the first one! | Main | And now for some brain balm »
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Comments
Nice.
Posted by: Bachalon | June 10, 2007 12:22 PM
Boy, are you gonna get e-mail...
Actually, I think it would have had more impact, and be more interesting and thought provoking, if they weren't zombies--just regular humans.
Posted by: RamblinDude | June 10, 2007 12:34 PM
Actually, I think it would have had more impact, and be more interesting and thought provoking, if they weren't zombies--just regular humans.
True, but not everybody believes that god commanded them to take communion. However, the one thing that they all do agree on is that their god ascended back up into the heavens like a birdie on wings, be they fundamentalists or be they moderates. Therefore that part of the story must be true. That's just basic logic. Fly birdie fly!!
Posted by: 386sx | June 10, 2007 12:43 PM
Hmmm...I think the one biting his arm is a female!
Posted by: RamblinDude | June 10, 2007 12:49 PM
Grok Jesus?
Posted by: dorid | June 10, 2007 12:57 PM
Dibs on the brain!
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely | June 10, 2007 12:57 PM
Looks like the chow hall from my ol' undergrad days.
Posted by: waldteufel | June 10, 2007 12:57 PM
Isn't this simply what Christians do during every Communion? Metaphorically, that is.
Posted by: Martin Wagner | June 10, 2007 12:58 PM
Completely unrelated, but I'd love to read an informed opinion on Craig Venter's attempt to patent his method of "creating an organism". I don't mean in any religious sense (which I saw you commented on), but rather the limits of ownership by individuals or corporations. I'm a complete atheist, but I have a serious problem with patents and copyrights, especially insofar as they pertain to processes. I'd love to know your opinion. Just curious.
Posted by: álvaro josé castro rivadeneira | June 10, 2007 1:06 PM
Christians do tend to eat their own, don't they?
Posted by: Dan | June 10, 2007 1:07 PM
Re #8
Not all that metaphorically; christian doctrine has it that the host somehow 'transubtantiates' into the body of christ-- it becomes the body itself.
What a crazed bad of cannibal nutters
Posted by: LBraschi | June 10, 2007 1:21 PM
And on a macabre note, that picture is what a biblical literalist may came off when reading about 'eating the body of christ'
Posted by: LBraschi | June 10, 2007 1:22 PM
I hope they drained Jesus of his blood so that they may drink of it.
I so love this picture.
Posted by: Janine | June 10, 2007 1:25 PM
This just shows how gullible Jesus is. I for one would never accept a dinner invite from a zombie.
Posted by: JD | June 10, 2007 1:27 PM
That totally kicks ass.
Posted by: Chinchillazilla | June 10, 2007 1:32 PM
Hmmm, this explains how he was able to get up and running a few days after the crucifixion.
Zombie Jesus!
Posted by: Magnus | June 10, 2007 2:20 PM
And on the Third Day Jesus rose from the dead and said unto His disciples "Braaiiins".
Posted by: Dave Godfrey | June 10, 2007 3:19 PM
Blasphemy! Only Jesus was a zombie in real life.
Posted by: Shawn Wilkinson | June 10, 2007 3:49 PM
Actually, they're not cannibals. Cannibalism is eating its own species, and zombies eat humans, not other zombies. :)
Posted by: Pedro Timóteo | June 10, 2007 4:09 PM
NOW I understand what they mean when they say "Jesus lives!"
Posted by: Dunkleosteus | June 10, 2007 5:07 PM
PZ has liturgical sense! Today is the feast of the Body and Blood of Christ (also known as Corpus Christi).
And yes, I did take communion today. But no, we Catholics don't think we do *that* when we take communion, even though we do think that we partake of the body and blood of Christ. A better model might be breastfeeding -- in which one person sustains another out of her own substance. (This analogy was drawn by the medieval mystic Julian of Norwich.)
I leave you with a link to a poem by George Herbert on the theme of Love: http://www.englishverse.com/poems/love
Posted by: Michael Kremer | June 10, 2007 5:53 PM
Depends on the denomination. AFAIK Calvinists consider it symbolic, for example.
Posted by: David Marjanović | June 10, 2007 8:04 PM
Hmmm. Looks like the brain is still intact - are we sure these are zombies, and not ghouls?
Posted by: Alison | June 10, 2007 8:52 PM
Last year I attended a friend's niece's communion at a Catholic church. The sermon included mention of "taking and drinking ...blood". This probably inspired a future generation of Goth/vampire children on that day.
Posted by: Ann Homily | June 10, 2007 9:08 PM
As tempting as it may be to make atheistic jokes about cannibalism and communion, I've yet to meet a believer who got any zombie vibes from the mass. What I have sometimes encountered. at least in old books are legends about the host that remind you of stories about human thumbs found in pickle jars.
Posted by: Jim Harrison | June 10, 2007 9:20 PM
Yay! I play a zombie game on-line and our mob is The Pastafarian Brotherhood, this pleases me to no end. I am going to go share it with them. Thanks!
Posted by: denise | June 10, 2007 9:45 PM
Oh, great. Now I can't get "Sweet zombie Jesus" out of my head. And no, it's not "good news, everyone". Thanks, guys.
Posted by: bPer | June 10, 2007 10:26 PM
I take this as proof-positive that zombies wouldn't have touched a Chocolate Jesus.
Posted by: Kseniya | June 11, 2007 12:05 AM
the further question is, is she sexually aroused while doing so?yeah, i know, some killjoy will opine zombies or ghouls or whatever don't get sexually aroused.
okay, how do you know?
Posted by: ekzept | June 11, 2007 12:55 AM
All Jesus must be eaten.
Here's some other versions:
Star Wars http://i17.tinypic.com/4xp5wev.jpg
Raptor Jesus http://i8.tinypic.com/62oizhv.jpg
and http://i11.tinypic.com/53ypwuu.jpg
Posted by: edhel | June 11, 2007 5:21 AM
And then there is that scene in the movie "MASH".
Posted by: khan | June 11, 2007 8:50 AM
Oooh, don't eat the brain, it's nothing but cholesterol.
Posted by: Jeff | June 11, 2007 9:10 AM
Relax.
Posted by: Kseniya | June 11, 2007 9:31 AM
I've long held that Christianity is a zombie religion. Christ died, but rose from the grave. He wants you to eat his blood and flesh (thus infecting you with zombieism). Doing so gets you "everlasting life."
It all fits.
Posted by: Sengkelat | June 11, 2007 2:21 PM
Beware the Vampire Jesus! He gave his blood for you -- now he wants it back!
-- CV
Posted by: CortxVortx | June 11, 2007 7:52 PM
Can I get that on velvet?
Posted by: EnoNomi | June 13, 2007 1:45 PM