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« Another reason not to waste time debating creationists | Main | Nature and The Simpsons »

An example of advanced logic in the internet age

Category: Humor
Posted on: July 26, 2007 10:55 AM, by PZ Myers

This photo of a very interesting book is obviously fake, since there are no pictures of cats on it.

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Comments

I can has buybull?

Posted by: jerith | July 26, 2007 11:00 AM

Thank you for the link. I love it. :)

Posted by: IanR | July 26, 2007 11:04 AM

BUYBULL! DO NOT WANT!

Posted by: speedwell | July 26, 2007 11:05 AM

1:28 "Invisible Man tell man, "ur in mai Earth, pwnz0rz mai aminulz". And u eats fruitz. Aminulz eats greenz.

Roflmao.

Posted by: Erasmus, FCD | July 26, 2007 11:10 AM

In ur Religiuhn, haxxing ur Scripture.

Posted by: forsen | July 26, 2007 11:20 AM

I haz uh fayth.

Oh noes! They be mokkin mah fayth!

Posted by: Blake Stacey, OM | July 26, 2007 11:20 AM

Favorite "passage":

Invisible Man say, "I can has aminulz." It happen. Invisible Man make kitteh n' cowz n' snakez n' stuff. Iz good.

LOL ". . . n' stuff. Iz good." LOL

Posted by: Tom @Thoughtsic.com | July 26, 2007 11:21 AM

MOAR!!!11!!

Posted by: carpworld | July 26, 2007 11:24 AM

Ware r pichurz of teh kittehs playin wit teh dine-o-sorz?

Posted by: cyan | July 26, 2007 11:27 AM

#10

I can has commandments?

I r ur godxxor who has max pwnage. U can has no udder godxxorz b4 mes.

U can has no makes pirates jpegz.

U can no grief mes.

U can no has workinz on Caturdays

Max propz to ur momz and popzez.

U can no pwn ur doodz.

U can no makes the sexy times

U can no exploit ur doodz cheezeburger.

U can no grief ur doodz.

U can no troll ur doodz.

U can no has ur doodz stuff.

U can no has ur doodz chickz.

Kthanxbye!!!!!!1111

Posted by: NC Paul | July 26, 2007 11:48 AM

#11

Invisible Man sez, "Firs. Youz be in Egypt. I takez youz out of teh Egypt. No other Invisible Man be bigger. Iz not right."

"Secund. No makez teh imagez of da graves. Iz not right."

"Fird. No sez my name in vein. Iz not right."

"Fourf. Caturday! Yay! Werk Sunday ta Friday! Party Caturday! Iz awesum!"

"Fif. Be nice ta Momz n Dadz. Especial if'n youz still live wif em!"

"Sixf. No killin' nobody. Iz not right. Is fer me only."

"Sevnef. No be mackin' other boyz o gurlz. Iz not right."

"Eif. No tell laiz! Iz not right."

"Ninerz. Rememberz sevnef? No be wantin' frendz hoez. No matter area codez! Iz not right."

"last. No be wantin' frendz asses. Eww! Grossers! No be wantin' frendz kitteh too! Iz not right!"

Yeah, I'm not that good at this.

Posted by: Brian Thompson | July 26, 2007 11:48 AM

#12

Im in ur mangr

steelin ur murr.

Posted by: stogoe | July 26, 2007 11:49 AM

#13

NC Paul, yer list iz coolerz.

Posted by: Brian Thompson | July 26, 2007 11:50 AM

#14

Source text for the photo: http://www.notablogtm.com/category/lolcat-bible/

Posted by: Pieter B | July 26, 2007 11:52 AM

#15

One of our cats is nearly clever enough to have written this.

Hmmm. She was trying to get at the keyboard the other day. On the other hand, she wouldn't be so stupid as to write such crap (King James version, that is).

Posted by: Richard Harris, FCD | July 26, 2007 11:52 AM

#16

LOLMozez can haz gud wrytinz

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | July 26, 2007 12:01 PM

#17

Mat You 5
5:1 An Jeez he be seein all teh peoplez, he be climbin hiz mountain: an after cheezburger, hiz doods be followin:

5:2 And he be open mouf, he be sayin:

5:3 Blessed iz mai tired: they can has mah buckit.
5:4 Blessed iz teh sad kittehs: they can has invisible hugs.
5:5 Blessed iz mice: they can has teh karots.
5:6 Blessed iz who want cheezburger of Rites nis: they can has a flavor.
5:7 Blessed iz teh halpers: they can has halp and mai cookies.
5:8 Blessed iz mai kittehs: they can be seein mah ceiling cat.
5:9 Blessed iz teh lolrus: they can has been mai kittehs.

Posted by: stogoe | July 26, 2007 12:19 PM

#18

Ha ha ha ha. Diz blog'z goin down teh drains

Posted by: Umilik | July 26, 2007 12:31 PM

#19

buhahahahaha

Posted by: matthew | July 26, 2007 12:33 PM

#20

Is it just me, or does that read like a typical undergrad research paper?

Posted by: paleotn | July 26, 2007 12:41 PM

#21

U O'z me teh nu keyboard. I spitz teh milk outs mah noze!

Posted by: kmiers | July 26, 2007 12:50 PM

#22

Sum d00dz gots way 2 much tym on hanz.

Posted by: Eamon Knight | July 26, 2007 1:15 PM

#23

Now look you stupid monkeys, we've spent a helluva lot teaching you to type and putting you up in this comfy room, and all you gotta do is type out Hamlet. So WTF is this? Are you auditioning for the next republican debate or some other comedy show? Enough is enough! Godsdamnit, I wanna see some Shakespeare here!

Posted by: blf | July 26, 2007 1:34 PM

#24

This must be the new 'welcome page' graphic for the Answers In Genesis website.

Posted by: NeoGothic | July 26, 2007 1:37 PM

#25

Yes, but how does it end dammit! I was just getting into it...
I like to read about that part where some booty is being pounded and then the booty is shakin' and hundreds of kids come flying out left and right. And then more booty pundin' off-course.
Makes a nice desktop wallpaper though.

Posted by: Carl | July 26, 2007 1:38 PM

#26

OMG! i larf so much mah kitteh giv mee funny luk an run out of da room.

Posted by: Alice Shortcake | July 26, 2007 1:49 PM

#27

LOLCat Bible Translation Project: http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php/Main_Page

(via http://picasaweb.google.com/tedstoltz/LolcatBible/photo#5088940119647578178)

Posted by: DPOI | July 26, 2007 1:51 PM

#28

LOLZ.

So much teh better.

Posted by: Kyra | July 26, 2007 2:03 PM

#29

Godsdamnit, I wanna see some Shakespeare here!

Act 2, Scene II:

O Romeo, Romeo! U r ware, Romeo?
No iz ur dadz, no iz ur name;
Ur n mai hart, stealin' mai luv,
No moh teh Catulet.

Posted by: Suze | July 26, 2007 2:07 PM

#30

Cats are not mentioned in the Bible. Therefore good Christians should not believe in them. Or have anything to do with them. Cats are probably Satanists and should be exterminated. Oh, wait. They already did that. Back when they thought all women were potential witches.

Posted by: Monado | July 26, 2007 2:24 PM

#31

Suze, that should be WHY UR ROMEO
WHY UR ENEMY FAMILY

Wherefore means why.

sorry about the punctuation. My keyboard is typing French today.

Posted by: Monado | July 26, 2007 2:28 PM

#32

Im in ur books makin u beleive :D

Posted by: SoE | July 26, 2007 2:28 PM

#33

I r in ur brain, stealin' ur senze of funnehs, Monado.

Posted by: Suze | July 26, 2007 2:46 PM

#34

OK, I have to admit I was gonna type something along similar lines to all the above, but after reading these, I can only say: What a bunch of geeks we are! :-)

Posted by: Tlazolteotl | July 26, 2007 3:55 PM

#35

re:#23

Now look you stupid monkeys, we've spent a helluva lot teaching you to type and putting you up in this comfy room, and all you gotta do is type out Hamlet.

The hypothesis that a million monkeys typing away might produce Shakespeare has been neatly disproved by AOL chatrooms.

-- CV

Posted by: CortxVortx | July 26, 2007 3:58 PM

#36

Deuteronomy 23:1:

OMG NO BALLS! DO NOT WANT! (BUT I STILL NOT GHAY!!1LOL)

Posted by: Dustin | July 26, 2007 4:06 PM

#37

I'm not sure about the lolcat translation link in post #27, but the book reads quite a bit like Da Jesus Book http://www.pidginbible.org/index.htm by Wycliffe Bible Translators that translated the New Testament into Hawaii Pidgin (Hawaii Creole) as part of a serious attempt (all joking on Wikipedia aside) for native speakers of Hawaiian Pidgin who "find the English Bible difficult to understand" (pg v, Da Jesus Book).
I wouldn't be surprised if this was the Old Testament translation by the same group.

Posted by: Kris | July 26, 2007 4:07 PM

#38

Get back to me when they figure out a cutsey translation for
Hosea 13:16.

Posted by: Sophist, FCD | July 26, 2007 4:09 PM

#39

Here is a bit more on the book, but there is a spoiler.

http://www.philosophiste.com/images/spoiler.jpg

Posted by: bernarda | July 26, 2007 4:09 PM

#40

This is sort of the Net's answer to Dolores Umbrage's office, isn't it?

Posted by: Scott Hatfield, OM | July 26, 2007 4:25 PM

#41

And invisible man say to Adam, "all your base are belong to us"

Posted by: DingoDave | July 26, 2007 4:31 PM

#42

Get back to me when they figure out a cutsey translation for Hosea 13:16.

I'll give it a shot:

Samaria is to being fuxxored; she are rebelin to Jeebus: their doods am to be pwned with sords: their childs and wimmens with childs is can be pwned too.

Posted by: RCP | July 26, 2007 4:33 PM

#43

Ho Sayuh 13:16 Samaria can haz despairz; cuz she haz dissed invisible man: they can haz death: they babies can haz death, and they pregnant wimminz too.

( Hay, u axed, so u gets )

Posted by: BruceH | July 26, 2007 4:41 PM

#44

how do i shoopd genesus

Posted by: sup b | July 26, 2007 7:45 PM

#45

Macbeth: Invisible dagr!

Richard III: I can haz hoss?

King Lear: Kingdum? Do not want.

Titus Andronicus: Im in ur kichin, cookin ur childz

Posted by: Ginger Yellow | July 26, 2007 8:33 PM

#46

Didn't someone do a hip-hop/rap bible awhile back?

...Then of course there was the über-nerdiness of those translating the bible into "Klingon"...

on with the fun:

(Adam & Eve)
im takin' ur rib
makin' ur womanz

(Tale of Sodom & Gomorrah)
kin we haz them 2 yung doodz?
Bro! Do not say! U can haz my dawtrz, who no haz man b4!

(David & Goliath)
Takin' my rok, hitten ur headz

etc, etc.

Posted by: JJR | July 26, 2007 8:54 PM

#47

Samson!

The original "I'm in ur ~~base~~ temple, killin ur dudes"!

Posted by: Owlmirror | July 26, 2007 9:22 PM

#48

Or for the more New Testament inclined: "I'm on ur cross, redeemin ur sinz"

Posted by: Ginger Yellow | July 26, 2007 10:34 PM

#49

Invisible Man has name Cloister? We all goes Fushal! We can has red hatz! (Maybe iz blu.)

Posted by: t.c. | July 27, 2007 12:53 AM

#50

GOD: I CAN HAS ISAAC-BURGER?
abraham: wtf?!
a: ...
a: uh......k.
a: isaac, we goes up mntn for kill to GOD
isaac: wtf? where are goat?
a: uh......GOD give us .
i: huh?
a: isaac, liez down on this here piles of rock and dry, dead branches.
i: huh?......? k.
G: OH HAI, I UPGRADED UR RAM
a: whew! isaac, gets up. we killz that ram 4 god.
i: whew! k.

Posted by: Owlmirror | July 27, 2007 1:30 AM

#51

Owlmirror Wrote:

GOD : "I CAN HAS ISAAC-BURGER?"
ABRAHAM : "WYF?!"

LOL : That will take some topping.

Posted by: DingoDave | July 27, 2007 7:36 AM

#52

Sorry; last post should have read,

ABRAHAM : "WTF?!"

Posted by: DingoDave | July 27, 2007 7:54 AM

#53

Prayr to Invisible Man:

Invisible Man, who be in invisible pair dice,
OOOO u r so big.
Ur pair dice come hear an ur wants be doin on erf lik be in pair dice.
Giv us an cheezburger evry day,
Frgiv ar pwns, lik we be frgivin teh pwned.
dont be takin ar buckit, an takes us frum ebil: Urs is teh 'puter, an teh pwn, an teh awesum, all Caturday.

Way too much time on my hands...

Posted by: stogoe | July 27, 2007 11:45 AM

#54

cain: i has roasted fruits and veggies!
GOD: DO NOT WANT!
c: suxx0r!
abel: i has roasted meat!
GOD: HAS A FLAVR! DO WANT! NOM NOM NOM
a: w00t! <level up!>
c: level up, my ass!
c: abel. my rock. let me show you it.
a: x_x <is ded>
G: CAIN. WHER UR BRO?
c: uh....wtf, I dunno. Don't own my bro.
G: U PWN UR BRO. U HAS A MARK. AMSCRAY.

Posted by: Owlmirror | July 27, 2007 2:51 PM

#55

LOLBCP:

Now let us go n ur worldz vangelizen ur wordz: my faith, let me show you it.

Posted by: ginneh | August 4, 2007 10:24 AM

#56

Mark 4:24 - 5:17

[24] AN HIS FAME WENT THROUGHOUT ALL SYRIA: AN THEY BROUGHT UNTO HIM ALL SICK PEEPS DAT WUZ TAKEN WIF DIVERS DISEASEZ AN TORMENTS, AN DOSE WHICH WUZ POSESSD WIF DEVILS, AN DOSE WHICH WUZ LUNATICK, AN DOSE DAT HAD TEH PALSY; AN HE HEALD THEM.
[25] AN THAR FOLLOWD HIM GREAT MULTITUDEZ OV PEEPS FRUM GALILEE, AN FRUM DECAPOLIS, AN FRUM JERUSALEM, AN FRUM JUDAEA, AN FRUM BEYOND JORDAN.
MATT.5
[1] AN SEEIN TEH MULTITUDEZ, HE WENT UP INTO MOUNTAIN: AN WHEN HE WUZ SET, HIS DISCIPLEZ CAME UNTO HIM:
[2] AN HE OPEND HIS MOUTH, AN TAUGHT THEM, SAYIN,
[3] BLESD R TEH POOR IN SPIRIT: 4 THEIRS IZ TEH KINGDOM OV HEAVEN.
[4] BLESD R THEY DAT MOURN: 4 THEY SHALL BE COMFORTD.
[5] BLESD R TEH MEEK: 4 THEY SHALL INHERIT TEH EARTH.
[6] BLESD R THEY WHICH DO HUNGR AN THIRST AFTR RIGHTEOUSNES: 4 THEY SHALL BE FILLD.
[7] BLESD R TEH MERCIFUL: 4 THEY SHALL OBTAIN MERCY.
[8] BLESD R TEH PURE IN HART: 4 THEY SHALL C INVISIBLE MAN.
[9] BLESD R TEH PEACEMAKERS: 4 THEY SHALL BE CALLD TEH CHILDREN OV INVISIBLE MAN.
[10] BLESD R THEY WHICH R PERSECUTD 4 RIGHTEOUSNES SAEK: 4 THEIRS IZ TEH KINGDOM OV HEAVEN.
[11] BLESD R YE, WHEN DOODZ SHALL REVILE U, AN PERSECUTE U, AN SHALL SAY ALL MANNR OV EVIL AGAINST U FALSELY, 4 MAH SAEK.
[12] REJOICE, AN BE EXCEEDIN GLAD: 4 GREAT IZ UR REWARD IN HEAVEN: 4 SO PERSECUTD THEY TEH PROPHETS WHICH WUZ BEFORE U.
[13] YE R TEH SALT OV TEH EARTH: BUT IF TEH SALT HAS LOST HIS SAVOUR, WHEREWITH SHALL IT BE SALTD? IT THENCEFORTH GUD 4 NOTHIN, BUT 2 BE CAST OUT, AN 2 BE TRODDEN UNDR FOOT OV DOODZ.
[14] YE R TEH LIGHT OV TEH WURLD. CITY DAT IZ SET ON AN HILL CANT BE HID.
[15] NEITHR DO DOODZ LIGHT CANDLE, AN PUT IT UNDR BUSHEL, BUT ON CANDLESTICK; AN IT GIVETH LIGHT UNTO ALL DAT R IN DA HOUZ.
[16] LET UR LIGHT SO SHINE BEFORE DOODZ, DAT THEY CUD C UR GUD WERKZ, AN GLORIFY UR INVISIBLE MAN WHICH IZ IN HEAVEN.
[17] FINKZ NOT DAT IM COME 2 DESTROY TEH LAW, OR TEH PROPHETS: I R NOT COME 2 DESTROY, BUT 2 FULFIL.