Pharyngula

Was that picture taken at a hotel? That's the only place I've seen multiple Bibles present. Certainly not at a Christian's house, and certainly not ones that worn.

Posted by: Tom @Thoughtsic.com | July 24, 2007 1:48 PM

To be fair, the animals did the walking.

Posted by: Tox | July 24, 2007 1:51 PM

Pssst, scote.. it's a joke. (Just to be frivolously sarcastic: "Try opening one of them books at the library called a 'dictionary.'")

Posted by: Tom @Thoughtsic.com | July 24, 2007 2:07 PM

I think it should be "the whole creationist argument summarized in 29 words." Because the Bible doesn't really say anything about science.

I'd like to see some real Bible summarizing in under 50 words. I bet that exists somewhere in these tubes.

Posted by: Rey Fox | July 24, 2007 2:11 PM

Hey, if you guys don't have the stomach to kill apostates, then your religion's gonna get mocked. Deal with it.

Posted by: Rey Fox | July 24, 2007 2:15 PM

Its foundation and essence is anti-scientific. Posted by: Alex

I'd go so far as to say it's entirely unscientific, but that's unfair; it's actually pre-scientific. As Penn Jillette has said, the bible contains equal amounts of history, fact and pizza.

Posted by: Warren | July 24, 2007 2:20 PM

I once did a little something with Islam. Should try picking it back up sometime.

Posted by: Bronze Dog | July 24, 2007 2:23 PM

Mark Ch 14 has something close to "slash" -- what's with the naked man in garden?:

43 Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.
44 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard." 45Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, "Rabbi!" and kissed him. 46The men seized Jesus and arrested him. 47 Then one of those standing near drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

48 "Am I leading a rebellion," said Jesus, "that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? 49Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled." 50 Then everyone deserted him and fled.

51 A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, 52 he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.

Posted by: boojum | July 24, 2007 2:47 PM

For Adrian (#9) The Koran. Because all the works of science can't equal the incoherent, semiliterate ravings of a highly unsuccessful merchant subject to seizures during which he had delusions that God was talking to him.

Posted by: Steve LaBonne | July 24, 2007 3:39 PM

"Cattle sacrificing primitives".

Code word: JEWS

Posted by: Silers | July 24, 2007 4:13 PM

"Siler" summarized.

Moron.

Posted by: Steve LaBonne | July 24, 2007 4:21 PM

The Origin of Species summarised:

"It is interesting to contemplate an entangled bank, clothed with many plants of many kinds, with birds singing on the bushes, with various insects flitting about, and with worms crawling through the damp earth, and to reflect that these elaborately constructed forms, so different from each other, and dependent on each other in so complex a manner, have all been produced by laws acting around us. These laws, taken in the largest sense, being Growth with Reproduction; inheritance which is almost implied by reproduction; Variability from the indirect and direct action of the external conditions of life, and from use and disuse; a Ratio of Increase so high as to lead to a Struggle for Life, and as a consequence to Natural Selection, entailing Divergence of Character and the Extinction of less-improved forms. Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved."

Now THAT is good science writing.

Posted by: Stephen Wells | July 24, 2007 4:39 PM

Thank you Stephen.

Posted by: Alex | July 24, 2007 4:45 PM

... the Reduced Shakespeare Company ... Complete Works of Shakespeare [has a] 10 second backwards version of Hamlet ... to die for.

Yes! It's brilliant. Another good take on Hamlet is the song "Oor Hamlet", written by Adam McNaughton. As sung by Martin Carthy:

There was a king nodding in his garden all alone
When his brother in his ear poured a little bit of henbane
Stole his brother's crown and his money and his widow
But the dead king walked and got his son and said "Now listen kiddo,
I've been killed and it's your duty to take revenge on Claudius,
Kill him quick and clean and tell the nation what a fraud he is."
The kid says, "Right, I'll do it but I'll have to play it crafty,
So that no one will suspect me I'll kid on that I'm a dafty"

So for all except Horatio, and he counts him as a friend,
Hamlet, that's the kid, he kids on he's round the bend
And because he's not yet willing for obligatory killing
He tries to make his uncle think he's tuppence off a shilling.
Takes a rise out of Polonius, treats poor Ophelia vile,
Tells Rosencranz and Guildenstern that Denmark's blooded bile
Till a troupe of travelling actors like seven eighty four
Arrive to do a special one night gig in Elsinore.

Hamlet, Hamlet, acting balmy
Hamlet, Hamlet, loves his mommy
Hamlet, Hamlet hesitating
He wonders if the ghost's a fake and that is why he's waiting

So Hamlet wrote a scene for the players to enact
So Horatio and himhat is why he's waiting

So Hamlet wrote a scene for the players to enact
So Horatio and him could watch to see if Claudius cracked
The play was called "The Mousetrap," not the one that's running now,
And sure enough, the king walked out before the scene was through
So Hamlet's got the proof his uncle gave his dad the dose,
The only problem being now that Claudius knows he knows,
So while Hamlet tells his mother her new husband's not a fit man
Uncle Claude takes out a contract with the English king as hit man.

Then when Hamlet killed Polonius, the concealed corpus delecti
Was the the king's excuse to send for an English hempen necktie
With Rosencranz and Guildenstern to make quite sure he got there
But Hamlet jumped the boat and put the finger straight on that pair.
When Laertes heard his dad's killed in the bedroom with the arras.
He came running back to Elsinore tout-suite hot foot from Paris
When Ophelia heard her dad's killed by the man she was to marry
After saying it with flowers she committed hari-kari.

Hamlet, Hamlet no messin'
Hamlet, Hamlet learned his lesson
Hamlet, Hamlet Yorick's crust
Convinced him all men good and bad at last must come to dust.

Then Laertes lost his cool and was demanding retribution,
The king said keep your head and I'll supply you a solution
So the king arranged a swordfight for the interested parties
With a blunted sword for Hamlet and a sharp sword for Laertes
And to to make double sure (the old belt-and-braces line)
He fixed up a poisoned sword-tip and a poisoned cup of wine
The poisoned sword got Hamlet but Laertes went and fluffed it
Because he got stabbed himself and he confessed before he snuffed it.

Then Hamlet's mummy drank the wine and as her face turned blue,
Hamlet said, "I think this king's a baddie through and through."
"Incestuous murderous damned Dane," he said to be precise
Then made up for hesitating once by killing Claudius twice.
He stabbed him with his knife and forced the wine between his lips
Then he said, "The rest is silence," and he cashed in all his chips.
They fired a volley over him that shook the topmost rafter
And then Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happy ever after.

Hamlet, Hamlet, end of story
Hamlet, Hamlet, very gory
Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm on my way
And if you thought that was confusing you should read the bloody play.

Not quite 29 words (but I haven't counted, so I could be wrong). ;-)

Unfortunately, I don't know of any recordings of "Oor Hamlet" by Martin Carthy, albeit apparently Adam McNaughton did record it on Words, Words, Words (CTRAX013 Greentrax Records)--I've never heard Adam's version, but have heard Martin's version several times.

Incidently, the automagic censor didn't like the above lyrics due to the word Incestuous. Stupid stupid stupid, it burns here just as much on the ID/wingnug sites!

Posted by: blf | July 24, 2007 5:18 PM

The Jonathan/David story is slash fiction, Bible-style.

Posted by: Rococo | July 24, 2007 5:32 PM

I'd like to see some real Bible summarizing in under 50 words. I bet that exists somewhere in these tubes.

Do what God tells you to do.
Do what God tells you to do today, not what He told you yesterday.
Do as He says, not as He does.
Obey or the consequences will be dire.

Posted by: Lord Runolfr | July 24, 2007 5:56 PM

Sorry, this link should work.

Posted by: j.t.delaney | July 24, 2007 6:07 PM

Did you generate this with the Parody Motivator Generator at Despair.com? It sure looks like their style.

Posted by: Lee Rickard | July 24, 2007 6:49 PM

IZ IN YR BOOKSHELVZ DILUTIN YR KNOWLEDGE.

LOLgodz!

Posted by: Justin Moretti | July 24, 2007 7:12 PM

@#25

I don't think it's about people that can't defend themselves from criticism, but it's more or less, "why can't you criticize a religion I disagree with?"

Posted by: Bachalon | July 25, 2007 12:52 AM

No, THIS is how you summarize the New Testament.

God loves you and he'll burn you in hell forever and ever if you don't believe that, because he loves you!

Posted by: anti-nonsense | July 25, 2007 3:49 AM

18 Words;
Matthew 5:28, 1 John 3:15, Proverbs 12:22: Revelation 21:8
2 Corinthians 5:21; Mark 1:15, 1 Peter 1:3
Amen

58 words;
Archaeologically proven, Historically Sound, Prophetically Perfect, the Moral Map of the Human Soul. God counts lust as adultery, hatred as murder, and lying lips an abomination. All adulterers, murderers and liars will have their place in the lake of fire. Christ took your fine on the Cross at Calvary. Repent and Trust in Christ and be saved. Amen.

Posted by: Canyon Shearer | July 25, 2007 6:43 AM

Why is it that on one hand, we have theists like M. Egnor that are cherry picking on the wrong fruits, ie trying to misinterpret what is already well explained by science, and on the other hand people like Dawkins and PZ Myers that cannot understand that the following arguments could make sense :

1.the universe was created in a very special state of minimum entropy and its evolution obeys a set of very specific rules that man through science will gradually discover, and that this could have been the work of an intelligent creator. It would be very helpful to start trying to understand what was the "intent" of this creator, if any.
2. science does not understand all of these rules yet and that there are some key questions that it is still incapable of answering :
-what happens after death ?
-what happened at/before the big bang
-how did life appear from an inert assembly of atoms
3. that there may exist physical phenomena that are yet to be discovered that go beyond the standard model of particle physics
4. that the copenhagen interpretation of quantum physics is not yet complete. That the theory of evolution is not yet complete. That we do not yet fully understand gravity, the cosmological constant problem and the rotational speeds of galaxies being clear scientific evidence that some new physics will have to be discovered, and that these could have a huge impact on the answers to the points in 1., as well as on how the brain works.
4. that a hypothesis such as the existence of a "soul", located in the brain is not necessarily a "crackpot" hypothesis. That this could be a physical concept to be derived from the new physics to be discovered. That it completes the theory of evolution as known today and renders it more efficient..That what happens with the "soul" after death could be goverened by a set of physical principles, in other words, that what happens after you die is conditionned by what happens during your life.

Isn't it because theists on one hand, have become, at large, incapable of understanding the writings of science, and on the other hand atheist scientists are becoming as dogmatic as the theists.

I think the time has come that religion starts revising a bit its old habits and accepting the fact that the bible / coran ...etc had been written at a time to be understood by the people of that time. That mankind has made some progress in its understanding of nature through science. And that science understands that as long as it cannot explain everything, there will be room for spiritual beliefs that will have to evolve as science makes progress in its understanding of the laws of nature.

That there should be a proper educated dialog between science and religion and not the series of insults that are so pervasive in the blogosphere.

That the time has come (2000years!) to rewrite the bible with the current knowledge of our time, and that real scientists (not pseudo science) feeds into it. If god exists, I don't see why he would be against this.

Posted by: christian | July 25, 2007 8:10 AM

I'd like to see some real Bible summarizing in under 50 words. I bet that exists somewhere in these tubes.

There are 613 Mitzvahs, choose something convenient and rationalize your bad behavior away while expecting others to follow the good behavior found therein...

Posted by: Moses | July 25, 2007 8:54 AM

I'd like to see some real Bible summarizing in under 50 words. I bet that exists somewhere in these tubes.

Well, I can do it in one word, but two are really necessary.

UTTER CRAP

Posted by: Jeff | July 25, 2007 9:14 AM

58 words;
Archaeologically proven,

No so. For example, much of Exodus has no evidence. Jericho had fallen before the Jews even existed. There is no evidence of the Jews wandering the Sinai, especially as the whole area was, essentially, an Egyptian fortified camp to keep the Canaanites OUT of Egypt.

And the evidence for "the Flood" is non-existent. Many of other historical accounts are, at best, biased from the writers POV, if not out-right lies.

Historically Sound,

Again, not so. The bible has been repeatedly revised and deviates massively from its roots. Case in point, Mary was not supposed to be a Virgin, but just a young Jewish girl. Translation error there. And now look at it...

The entire surrounding issue of Pilate's crucifixion of Jesus. Never mind the blood libel, but that this supposedly happened during the High Holy Days and, frankly, if you know enough about Jewish custom and practice, you'll realize that the Sanhedrin wouldn't be meeting during this time.

Or the Flood. Using biblical genealogies, this flood would have happened around 2400BC. YET there is no recording of this anywhere AND the histories of countries/peoples in existence between 3000BC and 2000BC continued on uninterrupted. However, if you look around the region, you'll find many flood legends, existing long before the Jews became a distinct people in 1600BC, from which Noah's tale can be cobbled together.

Or the conflicting genealogies of Jesus. Ugh. How Christians rationalize that massive error away... Especially as Luke is quite vociferous that all genealogies, but his, are wrong. That's one book of the bible fighting with another.

Prophetically Perfect,

Give me a break. The Messiah was supposed to free Israel from the clutches of Rome. How'd that work out for Jesus? Oh, it didn't... The whole friggin' premise of the Messiah was to free Israel from the Romans and it didn't happen. Instead, they destroyed Jerusalem and enslaved the Jews.

the Moral Map of the Human Soul.

Empathy, I suspect, is the Moral Map of the human soul. However, seeing all the killing and commandments to kill, I doubt it's the bible. Especially in light of the tens of millions of people to be put death/enslaved in the name of Christ/God.

God counts lust as adultery, hatred as murder, and lying lips an abomination. All adulterers, murderers and liars will have their place in the lake of fire. Christ took your fine on the Cross at Calvary. Repent and Trust in Christ and be saved. Amen.

That's just another vague religious threat & promise game. They all have those. Nothing special about it.

Posted by: Moses | July 25, 2007 9:46 AM

So I will just ask you a question, just to check : which one is right : string theory and inflationary theory (check A.Linde) or Loop Quantum Gravity and a cosmological bounce model (check M.Bojowald.

False dichotomy. LQG can produce inflation, and there are stringy bouncing models. What exactly did your research involve, may I ask?

Posted by: MartinM | July 25, 2007 10:33 AM

Well, there isn't really a 'right one' at present. The observed angular power spectra aren't good enough yet to discriminate between inflationary potentials to any great degree, so we're left with a wide range of models until the data improves. Some tensor modes would be nice...

Posted by: MartinM | July 25, 2007 10:53 AM

So, MartinM and Whocares, when I make the statement (see post 48)that science is still incapable of answering what happened at/before the bigbang, am I incorrect ? MartinM gave the right answer in his latest post, we do not have enough precise data to validate one model or another. We don't even know if it might be a completely different model, not yet described.
Does this mean that we won't find out one day. Nope. Does that mean that we have to invoke a "God of the gaps" that created the universe in 7 days and made women from the rib of a man ? Nope. But does that mean that we can rule out that the universe was created with an intent, by a certain form of intelligence and that something happens with my soul after I die. Nope. So my belief in the latter should not stop me from trying to know more, on the contrary. Only science will help me in that quest. And my beliefs motivate me. Now if you think there is a paradox in there, fair enough, because I don't.

Posted by: Christian | July 25, 2007 11:17 AM

You certainly wouldn't be the first to use faith as a motivation for attempting to learn more about the universe.

Posted by: Kseniya | July 25, 2007 11:25 AM

Kseniya : correct, Einstein and Newton did the same...

Posted by: Christian | July 25, 2007 11:32 AM

Yea its wrong.

"The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason."
-Ben Franklin

No one can be perfectly objective, but why cloud your observations with a false pretense.

Posted by: Loc | July 25, 2007 11:49 AM

#9 #20 #25 #42:

The reason you get these 'attack someone else' comments are either that:

A) They don't believe in Atheists. They think you're just acting about against Christianity to be perverse or something and that it's something most people get over. This is also where the line 'I used to be an atheist' came from, because in these people's small world view there are only Christians and non-practicing Christians.

or B) They are feeding into the Christian persecution complex, and they can't fathom that you actually hold the belief that you do. (This is similar to A, I guess. I think I'm stating it poorly.)

Either way, the point for them is that you just hate christians and aren't a 'true' atheist.

Posted by: Brendan S | July 25, 2007 12:05 PM

The best summary of the Torah/Bible I have heard is from a friend who said:

"Torah. God: "Obey Me or die."
"New Testament. God: "Love Me or die."

That about covers it, I think...

Posted by: mmills | July 25, 2007 12:11 PM

Enzoantonius :

please explain :
1. why is my version of God "Bronze-aged" ?
2. where am I making more basic logic errors than a baptist preacher on Sunday morning

Posted by: Christian | July 25, 2007 12:37 PM

I'll respond to you as soon as you pony up one shred of evidence. Your merely attempting to avoid my DIRECT challenge to you.

Pony up one shred of evidence for god and the soul. Just one shred of positive evidence.

I know, I know, you don't have any, so you have to squirm and evade by trying to change the subject.

Posted by: EnzoAntonius | July 25, 2007 12:41 PM

Oh and could you tell me where your a 'quantum researcher', so I can verify it. Just let me know where you received you Ph.D. so I can look it up. Or better yet, which lab you work at! That's such a sure way to win points against us, I would see why you wouldn't want to prove that to me, er... unless you are just lying!!!!!!!!

Posted by: EnzoAntonius | July 25, 2007 12:47 PM

Christian, MM's first answer said it all. Sure there are things we don't know. We understand that. But how does pure, wild-ass speculation help our understanding?

The universe *might* have been created by magically delicious fairies. We *might* all be brains in jars, wired up to a simulation that bears no relation to reality. The universe may be a vast, sentient being that loves us and wants us to eat candy.

Lots of things might be true, but unless you have a reason to believe they are true, then you're not really contributing anything. When you are proposing the existence of a thing that is functionally identical to non-existence of that thing, well, you're just engaging in textual masturbation.

Posted by: SmellyTerror | July 25, 2007 12:53 PM

A less for the rest of you. When fundy trolls like christian infest this board, don't play into their game. he wanted nothing more than to make his gross logical fallacies and quote mine. he would have done this for hours, if not day.

however, just reduce the conversation to one issue, have them prove the onus of providing with positive evidence why they belief. then watch them worm away and leave nothing behind, but a blog thread of others mocking christian's delusions.

and each time he rears his delusional head, continue to plead with him to tell us one shred of evidence for god & the soul. he is now claiming to be 'doing research'. doesn't research yield data? why is he suddenly so ashamed of data? i mean, for a guy with "10 years" of "quantum research" he really seems shy about where he got his degree, what lab he works at, and the data gleaned from his research. my conjecture is that he is a crank who is lying, but he could always pony up the info and prove me wrong. something tells me not to hold my breath though.

Posted by: EnzoAntonius | July 25, 2007 1:04 PM