Vampyroteuthis gazes at you with its terrible ancient eye…

Close it, please, for the love of heaven, close it!

Vampyrotheuthis infernalis
JEBUS! It’s got a sphincter for an eye! OPEN IT AGAIN! OPEN IT AGAIN!
P.O. Box 98199
Washington, DC 20090-8199
800-647-5463
Lat/Lon: 38.90531943278526, -77.0376992225647
Are you flirtin’ with me? You flirtin’ with me? You flirtin’ with me? Then who the hell else are you flirtin’ with?