Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Category: Cephalopods • Humor
Posted on: August 15, 2007 6:00 AM, by PZ Myers
OK, nice reference to both Darwin and cephalopods, but doesn't it bother anyone that the viscosity of the medium would make baseball impossible to play, and that wooden bats would cause a serious buoyancy problem for the animals?
(Via Zeno, who has frightened the creationists out of his state)
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Comments
From Zeno's article re the move of the ICR to Texas:
Translation: Go where the suckers are!
Posted by: John Pieret | August 15, 2007 6:55 AM
From Zeno's blog: "...ICR's scientific staff is widely recognized by friends and opponents alike as unequaled in their credentials and research initiatives..."
Credentials? Doesn't he mean "credenzas"? No one's ever argued the ICR doesn't have good, top of the line office furniture.
Posted by: Paul Sunstone | August 15, 2007 7:14 AM
How exciting. My hometown is under the jurisdiction of Secretary of "Education" McLeroy, and is in proximity to both Baylor University and Dallas Baptist University. Now it houses the ICR, who will continue to help crack away those last annoying remnants of academic merit in Texas.
Here's hoping the forces from both University of Texas chapters, SMU, the UNT chapters, and all other nearby schools come together to completely disarm these mobs of anti-intellectuals, before they start setting up elementary school visits and library chats to recruit some of the more impressionable minds out there.
Posted by: MGrant | August 15, 2007 7:25 AM
My favorite snippet from Zeno's article:
Mentally, what is happening that allows for this train of thought?
Posted by: Loc | August 15, 2007 7:48 AM
If he's holding 4 bats, would that mean you could strike him out with just one pitch?
Posted by: C.S.Strowbridge | August 15, 2007 8:13 AM
I'm not quite sure how they addressed the problem with throwing a ball under water, but I must assume that they are using specially designed neutral buoyancy bats.
Posted by: No One of Consequence | August 15, 2007 8:13 AM
Nah, I stopped to bother when Shermans universe have restaurants with fried food on the bottom of The Lagoon.
I'm more bothered by a right-handed and right-handed and ... and right-handed cephalopod. Now that goes against biology for crying out loud!
Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson, OM | August 15, 2007 8:21 AM
Actually, on the topic of Sherman's universe: I find it one of the better universes around. The author simply junks all the pieces that doesn't fit his narrative instead of clumsy ad hocs (okay, Calvin and Hobbes have cool ad hoc devices instead - I like the transmographier especially), but retains enough rules to make it somewhat recognizable as ours and our foibles.
Has anyone an example of a universe that tops this one?
Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson, OM | August 15, 2007 8:31 AM
Dude. You must NEVER watch an episode of Spongebob Squarepants. Your brain will freaking explode.
Posted by: Jay Allen | August 15, 2007 8:37 AM
Torbjorn writes: I'm more bothered by a right-handed and right-handed and ... and right-handed cephalopod. Now that goes against biology for crying out loud!
Perhaps he bats lefty with the other three arms? Talk about crowding the plate, though...
Posted by: CL | August 15, 2007 8:40 AM
Hmmm, how do we show that it's a girl shark pitching? I know! Let's have her wear a pearl necklace during a baseball game!
This bothers me way more than it should. I mean, isn't the fact that she's purple enough?
Posted by: Iris | August 15, 2007 9:57 AM
Nah! He's obviously a switch-hitter, being so flexible and all!
Posted by: tony | August 15, 2007 10:08 AM
And (FWIW) Spongebob is full of piratey goodness!
Posted by: tony | August 15, 2007 10:09 AM
It's the strike zone I'm wondering about...
Posted by: blf | August 15, 2007 10:15 AM
Iris - she always wears a pearl necklace. It's how you can tell her from the other girl sharks in the strip. :)
Posted by: Carlie | August 15, 2007 10:19 AM
Thumbs people, thumbs! Doesn't that bother anyone else? Fin thumbs? Nooooooo! ;^)
Posted by: Mena | August 15, 2007 10:23 AM
"nice reference to both Darwin and cephalopods, but doesn't it bother anyone that the viscosity of the medium would make baseball impossible to play, and that wooden bats would cause a serious buoyancy problem for the animals?"
Talking sharks? Talking sharks don't bother you...?
As for the pearls someone mentioned...given her usual attitude, who is going to take them away from her?
Posted by: FossilBob | August 15, 2007 11:24 AM
It sure bothers me. Same issue almost ruined Pirates of the Caribbean for me: I can handle curses, undead creatures, and magic compasses; but when two guys walk along the sea floor holding a wooden boat full of air over their heads, it's just too hard to suspend disbelief.
Posted by: Pete hD | August 15, 2007 11:30 AM
Huh, you're right, and frankly my mind recoils in horror at anything that might make baseball even slower and more interminable than it currently is.
Posted by: Warren | August 15, 2007 11:31 AM
Once wood has soaked long enough in sea water, it becomes negatively buoyant and sinks.
After all, that's how all those logs got into the Poseidonschafer shales.
Posted by: Stanton | August 15, 2007 11:39 AM
If that comic bothers you, try watching an episode of Spongebob Squarepants sometime.
Posted by: Fatboy | August 15, 2007 1:42 PM
Daggonit, I just saw Jay Allen beat me to the Spongebob reference in comment 9. Oh well, it's so bad it deserves two mentions.
Posted by: Fatboy | August 15, 2007 1:47 PM
Oh, oh. Scott Hatfield has gone and done it now! He's posted a debate challenge to Vox Day over at Monkey Trials. Scott asked Vox to evaluate natural selection as an explanatory model for evolution (as opposed, perhaps, to the ID sort of approach that Vox appears to favor). That stirred up Vox a bit, who snarkily denies evolutionary theory's explanatory power (it's "smoke, mirrors") and then Vox cites my ICR piece, saying there's a "tremendous amount of irony" when an evolutionist accuses creationists of begging the question. (Looks like Vox saw Scott's link to the ICR post.) Now I'm getting traffic from Vox Day's minions! You just know they're going to leave fingerprints on the wallpaper and bootprints on the rug!
Your fault, Scott! Yours!
Posted by: Zeno | August 15, 2007 2:02 PM
*Starfish lights a fire*
Spongebob: Wait, arent we underwa--
*fire goes out*
Posted by: Baratos | August 15, 2007 2:30 PM
Is no one going to comment on the difficulty of keeping a hat on while moving about underwater? What kind of skeptics are you people?
Posted by: Galbinus_Caeli | August 15, 2007 3:03 PM
There's also one episode in which the fact that they're underwater is highlighted when all of the sea creatures mock Sandy by conspicuously breathing said water in and out while she begins to suffocate without her helmet, but basically you can get through Spongebob only if you agree to the conceit that the water usually "doesn't exist" in Bikini Bottom.
Not that I, um, have seen many episodes or anything.
Posted by: Carlie | August 15, 2007 3:15 PM
In her trenchant analysis of Wagner's Ring, Anna Russell liked to point out that the first scene is in the river Rhine. In it. But that doesn't stop the Rhinemaidens from singing their little hearts out. It may, however, have some bearing on why so much of what they sing is nonsense syllables -- even in German.
Posted by: Zeno | August 15, 2007 3:33 PM
Vox has GOT to be a Devil's Advocate. He's really working PZ's side of the street. Uh... right?
Posted by: Kseniya | August 15, 2007 3:42 PM
I'm concerned that you people are so ready to weigh in with your criticisms when you so obviously have little experience with water activities. Swinging and throwing in water are merely harder, but not impossible. As for wearing baseball caps, a ballcap worn backwards would easily stay on one's head while swimming, provided it were fat enough.
Really, the only serious obstacle to underwater baseball would be keeping your chewing tobacco dry and recognising spitballs.
Posted by: Brownian | August 15, 2007 3:57 PM
This is a petty point: the fluid mechanical difficulty of underwater baseball is (i think, hope) mostly a result of the density of water, not its viscosity. Viscosity contributes, but water is not very viscous and the problem is mostly one of pushing all that extra mass aside as the ball travels.
Posted by: martin smith | August 15, 2007 6:39 PM
I can't read the full-size comic strip since the website is broken. It mandates that I tell it where I came from (HTTP referrer).
Posted by: scorebert | August 16, 2007 9:37 AM
Do you have to be a Brit to be surprised at fish discussing batter? Do they have no respect for their cousins beheaded and gutted, served on a plate with chips (OK, 'fries'), after being deep-fried in scorching oil to produce a golden, crispy batter?
I guess you do.
Posted by: Rob | August 17, 2007 7:46 AM