Ben Stein is making a new movie (Expelled, have you heard of it?) that’s supposed to be out in February, but right now he’s building the excitement by making television appearances and demonstrating that he is a raving lunatic. Yeah, this is exactly the guy I want as the spokesman for Intelligent Design creationism.
He’s defending Larry Craig. It’s promisingly incoherent, and here are his arguments, more or less in the order babbled.
He’s upset that the police arrested an Idaho senator when they’re supposed to be busy chasing Al Quaeda. What is it with these wingnuts? We’re supposed to suspend law and order while they look for Muslim terrorists hiding under the beds? I think I’ll go rob a bank, and when the police show up I’ll chide them for neglecting their duties in protecting the citizens of Morris from the jihad.
All he did was tap his foot. Yeah, right, OK. And gesture, and confess. And all Florida representative Bob Allen did was ask for sex, he didn’t actually fellate a police officer.
Gestapo, gestapo, gestapo, gestapo, gestapo. I call Godwin! Gestapo.
Homosexuality is not illegal. This is true and as it should be, but this is coming from the fellow who sneered at the Democrats as the party of homosexuals, and equated homosexuality with pedophilia (but it’s OK—some of his best friends are gay.) Craig wasn’t arrested for being gay, he was arrested for soliciting.
It is not only legal, but widely approved by all Republicans, that heterosexual men have sex with their wives. Still, I think if my Trophy Wife™ and I were in the mood next time we were traveling and found a quiet place in the airport to get wild together, the airport police would have legitimate grounds for arresting and fining us for inappropriate behavior.
I would, of course, immediately tell the Gestapo that they should be searching for Al Quaeda instead of disturbing fornicating heterosexual couples, which is perfectly legal in America. It also sounds like it would be more fun than robbing a bank.
This is a trumped up attempt by the executive branch to change the balance of power in the senate. All I can assume with this remark is that former Nixon speechwriter Ben Stein is jealous that the current Republican in the Oval Office seems to be doing a much better job of undermining the Constitution than his favorite president. But even there, Craig is a Republican rubberstamper, and Bush is a Republican, and this arrest is most embarrassing to the Republican party. Maybe he should have saved this argument for when Hillary takes office and starts shipping the Republican senators off to work camps in the Alaskan oil fields.
Now I’m looking forward to his movie even more. A googly-eyed gnome with a monotone accusing people of gestapo tactics has already had his screen test, and it flopped.