Pharyngula

Hey, maybe Australia could keep him

Our president has been away in Australia. Who knew? Who cares? I only care because Australia has some of the most venomous wildlife around, and because anything that sends the asshole-in-chief to the other side of the planet is a good thing.

Anyway, the Australians waste $A165 million on security, rather than giving Bush a few hundred dollars and telling him to go play with the stingrays up around the Great Barrier Reef, and look what happens: a comedy troupe gussies up a few cars to look officially Canadian, and drove an Osama bin Laden imitator right up to the president’s hotel. They simultaneously showed that all this anti-terrorist security nonsense is pure performance art made to inflate the egos of the government and instill fear in our citizens, and made a sharp jab at our president’s priorities and accomplishments.

Bravo. Brilliant.

Now, please, can we impeach the incompetent boob? He’s an evil joke. We really need to end the long national embarrassment.

Comments

  1. #1 gg
    September 7, 2007

    “anything that sends the asshole-in-chief to the other side of the planet is a good thing.”

    Alas, they sent him to the wrong ‘side’. I would have sent him to Antarctica, where the amount of people he could annoy would be small. But then again, we’d probably end up with confused, warlike penguins in the end…

  2. #2 Christopher
    September 7, 2007

    His trip to Australia has given us a bunch of new Bush-isms:

    http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2007/09/07/bush-slips.html

  3. #3 imsd007
    September 7, 2007

    They did not bring their Trojan Horse this time…..

    These are the same guys as in
    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/09/at_least_the_turks_learned_the.php

    Great comedy!
    http://www.abc.net.au/tv/chaser/war/

  4. #4 Zarquon
    September 7, 2007

    We’ve already got paralysis ticks here. Why would we keep another one?

  5. #5 DrBadger
    September 7, 2007

    These guys are hilarious. Besides the bin Laden thing, my favorite APEC thing they did was dress up in a police uniform and randomly subject people to pointless “security checks” and watch how no one complained.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GclCE0cLA-o

  6. #6 Bob O'H
    September 7, 2007

    As I pointed out on my blog (hey, what’s wrong with blatant self-promotion?), the police have charged them with entering a restricted area. Well, I’m betting Bush has entered the same restricted area, so they should arrest him too.

    Bob

  7. #7 Randy
    September 7, 2007

    No one EVER suspects us Canadians. MU-ha-Ha-HA-HA!

  8. #8 Elliott
    September 7, 2007

    Before you can impeach the Shrub, you must find someone to swear the she (or he!) performed fellatio on him in the Oval Office.

  9. #9 stroup
    September 7, 2007

    In response to the title of your post I must say, emphatically: “No. Thank you, but no.”

    Besides, at a press conference today (see link from Christopher, above) he called us “Austrians”!

  10. #10 KevinC
    September 7, 2007

    Don’t think they will take him. Since he thinks he is in Austria and attending an OPEC meeting and not in Australia attending the APEC meeting.

  11. #11 Reginald Selkirk
    September 7, 2007

    Now, please, can we impeach the incompetent boob? He’s an evil joke. We really need to end the long national embarrassment.

    No. The only current realistic alternative to the Republican Party has decided to keep that tool in office as a campaign tool. It is called the “Lame Duck strategy.” It is a shame that American voters have only two choices: the party that originally put Bush in the White House, and the party that is now keeping him there to further their own campaigns. You’d think that with over 300 million people to choose from, we might find someone who could actually lead.

  12. #12 marty
    September 7, 2007

    My first response to the suggestion we keep him wasn’t very polite, however the best thing about Bush being here has been the support he’s given our current Prime Minister. With luck we’ll be replacing the current conservative government by the end of the year!

  13. #13 sailor
    September 7, 2007

    The Chasers also famously went to the USA and asked passsers by who was responsible for Iraq. They were given a multiple choice which inlcuded Barak Obama, which was the choice for many.

  14. #14 El Cid
    September 7, 2007

    Phew, thank goodness, it was just a misunderestimatement from Bush Jr.

    I was afraid that the Australo-Hungarian Empire was starting back up again.

  15. #15 firehawk
    September 7, 2007

    Besides, at a press conference today (see link from Christopher, above) he called us “Austrians”!

    As an Austrian, I find this quite amusing, because normally it’s the other way round.

    You know: “There are no kangaroos in Austria!”

  16. #16 Reginald Selkirk
    September 7, 2007

    You know: “There are no kangaroos in Austria!”

    Is that so?
    Kangaroo on walkabout in Austria

  17. #17 firehawk
    September 7, 2007

    Well, some imports – but as you see, nothing running (or jumping ?) around in the wild.

  18. #18 Moses
    September 7, 2007

    You know: “There are no kangaroos in Austria!”

    Posted by: firehawk | September 7, 2007 10:59 AM

    I have a friend who has a t-shirt she bought in Austria that says that. It has a picture of a kangaroo with a universal “no” sigh (red-circle with line) over it and the caption “There are no kangaroo’s in Austria!

    I had to read it twice to get it. The first time I thought it was some weird nihilistic joke (which she does) because my mind put “Australia” where it said “Austria” when I saw the kangaroo. The second time I read it more carefully as I’d realized I might not be getting the joke.

  19. #19 mothra
    September 7, 2007

    After Shrub leaves office, I always hoped some citizens group would take him, confine him, subject him to the same treatment he approved for detainees as ‘not being torture.’ And then one by one do the same for EVERY member of his staff and congress who also approved such measures.

  20. #20 Interrobang
    September 7, 2007

    You don’t have to leave Bush in Australia with all the poisonous wildlife. Are you familiar with the song “Black Widows in the Privy”?

    Jus’ sayin’…

  21. #21 Brownian
    September 7, 2007

    Why not pull a reverse ransom? Threaten to strand GW B’uh? in Australia until the Aussies agree to take back Ken Ham.

  22. #22 Richard Harris, FCD
    September 7, 2007

    Regarding Bush’s ‘Austria’ gaff, I once bought a record, (from Sam the Record Man in Toronto), entitled ‘Historic Organs of Australia’. I’d looked at the cover a few times before I noticed.

  23. #23 Katrina
    September 7, 2007

    The story made the front page of CNN.com.

    CNN Video

    Katrina

  24. #24 Jud
    September 7, 2007

    #22 – “I once bought a record, (from Sam the Record Man in Toronto), entitled ‘Historic Organs of Australia.'”

    The mind reels at the number of possible responses.

    And now from historic organs to the current prick: I personally favor allowing Bush to continue in office until the financing of the war and deficit drive up interest rates sufficiently to totally tank the housing market and in turn the economy as a whole. By then, you may have a majority of the populace, regardless of party affiliation, primarily concerned with whether to impeach, or proceed directly to the tarring and feathering.

  25. #25 Hal
    September 7, 2007

    Stingrays? Mere pikers. Have him waltz with three or four box jellyfish.

  26. #26 Ian Gould
    September 7, 2007

    “The Chasers also famously went to the USA and asked passsers by who was responsible for Iraq. They were given a multiple choice which inlcuded Barak Obama, which was the choice for many.”

    More frighteningly thy asked random Americans if they supported their President’s decision to invade Australia.

    Many of them did.

  27. #27 Ian Gould
    September 7, 2007

    “Besides, at a press conference today (see link from Christopher, above) he called us “Austrians”!”

    Was this in relation to thd Pope’s visit (as reported by CNN) to Australia?

  28. #28 Lynn Fancher
    September 7, 2007

    I have rosy dreams about Bush being impeached.

    Then they turn to nightmares, because the Shrub has the best anti-impeachment armor possible.

    Just look at what we get in his place if we boot him…

    Lynn

  29. #29 Ex Patriot
    September 7, 2007

    I am ashamed to admit that I am a American, although I do live in Europe. I wouldn’t wish the shrub on people as good as the Australians are. He would f–k that country up just as he has the U.S. Dancing with the box jelly fish would be good along with a kiss from that nasty small octopus that also lives there, I don’t remember its name

  30. #30 Rey Fox
    September 7, 2007

    Er, Jud? Part of the reason we want to impeach him is to prevent that stuff from happening. It’s not all petty revenge fantasies here.

  31. #31 dwarf zebu
    September 7, 2007

    In response to the title of your post I must say, emphatically: “No. Thank you, but no.”

    That’s what I figured you’d say. Worth a shot, though.

    Besides, at a press conference today (see link from Christopher, above) he called us “Austrians”!

    I am SO sick of being embarrassed by this man!

    Stingrays? Mere pikers. Have him waltz with three or four box jellyfish.

    Yikes. I don’t think I hate anyone that much!

  32. #32 Ken Mareld
    September 7, 2007

    The chasers did some great theater. Security IS an illusion.
    In the last 6.5 years we are being constantly demanded to give up our freedoms for that illusion. What the authoritarians hate the most is being exposed for telling us that we will be more secure if we give them more control over our lives. It makes them cry ‘mommy’ when they are exposed for being the fools that they are. I wish the ‘Chasers’ were on ABC/NBC/CBS so that our country could hold up the Bush/Neo-con regime to the bright light of ridicule that those authoritarian assholes richly deserve.
    Every Senator and Congressman that opposses the authoritarian takeover perpetrated by these fools needs to grow balls that clank. LOUDLY!
    STOP THE WAR! OUT NOW!

  33. #33 Brian Macker
    September 7, 2007

    “In the last 6.5 years we are being constantly demanded to give up our freedoms for that illusion.”

    Are you serious? Other than not being able to clip my nails on the airplane what freedom’s have I sacrificed? Handicapped parking is more of an inconvenience.

    The measures taken are a pimple compared to measures taken by Democrats in the past. Get some perspective, and look up the word phrases internment camps, Roosevelt gold confiscation, money structuring, war draft, Civil-asset forfeiture, and drug war.

    What I object to is the stupidity and ineffectualness of the measures taken, not some imaginary reduction in my rights. Why waste hundreds of billions invading a country when you can lift an embargo and blow up a few palaces.

    I object to a lot of things but the Democrats are just as bad as the Republicans. Even Clinton used to ship captives off to foreign countries for torture.

  34. #34 Murkanen
    September 7, 2007

    “I don’t remember its name”

    It’s the blue ring octopus I believe, no idea what the scientific name for it is though.

  35. #35 Moses
    September 7, 2007

    I’ve noticed the wing-nuts have been going crazy in every thread related to this subject on every blog I’ve frequented today. It’s hysterical how upset they’ve gotten.

  36. #36 Brian Macker
    September 7, 2007

    Now this is what I call being forced to give up ones freedoms.

    Moses, I’ve noticed that the true wing nuts and barking moon bats go crazy on just about every policial thread they enter. Including this one. In fact this blog tends to be infested with some of the the more wacky ones.

    Like the wacky belief that Clinton was impeached for a blowjob. Really, you have to have a twisted understanding of reality to believe that. Wasn’t he under investigation about sexual harrassment of an subordinate, and wasn’t he giving testamony about sexual involvement with another subordinate, and perjured himself? Keep lying to yourselves.

    Mothra,

    Yeah, and I retorically hope you are subjected to every indignity suffered by those in our prisons that you don’t consider to be torture, like being locked in a cell. I don’t think the administration’s position is that Gitmo is a country club, but hell you sound like you want it run that way.

    You are aware that they are vetting these people before military courts, right? You know they get legal representation, etc. right? You know many are released, right? You know it’s the same proceedures they’ve used like forever, right?

    It’s one thing to argue that we should change procedures and quite another to invent the fiction that things have changed for the worse under Bush. You don’t like torture, well me neither, but let’s call a spade, a spade. If it’s torture when Republicans are in power then it’s torture when Democrats are. Or do you forget the loud music and bright lights the Branch Davidians were subjected to day and night?

  37. #37 Rey Fox
    September 7, 2007

    “Like the wacky belief that Clinton was impeached for a blowjob. Really, you have to have a twisted understanding of reality to believe that. Wasn’t he under investigation about sexual harrassment of an subordinate, and wasn’t he giving testamony about sexual involvement with another subordinate, and perjured himself? Keep lying to yourselves.”

    Okay fine. He was impeached for sexual harassment. And lying about sexual harassment. Does this somehow make it less trivial? Does this somehow make it stack up to Bush’s crimes more?

  38. #38 Don Grimm
    September 7, 2007

    Re: #36
    Torture apologists make me want to puke. “It’s not so bad!” Over and over I’ve heard this crap. Torture is wrong. It was wrong during the Inquisition, it was wrong in World War II, it was wrong during Vietnam, and it’s wrong now. You can’t even detect the high moral ground from where torturers live and apologists only enable them. Get a moral compass and learn how to use it.
    Don Grimm

  39. #39 Mike
    September 7, 2007

    We ought to impeach Bush, but not before we get rid of Cheney.

  40. #40 Moses
    September 7, 2007

    Moses, I’ve noticed that the true wing nuts and barking moon bats go crazy on just about every policial thread they enter. Including this one. In fact this blog tends to be infested with some of the the more wacky ones.

    Like the wacky belief that Clinton was impeached for a blowjob. Really, you have to have a twisted understanding of reality to believe that. Wasn’t he under investigation about sexual harrassment of an subordinate, and wasn’t he giving testamony about sexual involvement with another subordinate, and perjured himself? Keep lying to yourselves.

    Posted by: Brian Macker | September 7, 2007 3:47 PM

    Sir, I hold up a general garment and you claim it is cut to your fit. By your indictment, you are known.

    And, really, what does Clinton’s impeachment for perjury have to do with this? That is a done issue. You really need to get over the issue. Perhaps some therapy would help.

    OTOH, our current issue is on going as our current leader has conducted an illegal war, committed crimes against the peace and enabled torture. This is a man who should be taken to the Hague for War Crimes and Crimes Against Humanity.

    And this is not some idle irritation. This is based solely on the precedents we set in regard to the Nazi’s and Japanese after WWII. A history, I for one, have studied in great depth.

  41. #41 Moses
    September 7, 2007

    Well said Don:

    Torture apologists make me want to puke. “It’s not so bad!” Over and over I’ve heard this crap. Torture is wrong. It was wrong during the Inquisition, it was wrong in World War II, it was wrong during Vietnam, and it’s wrong now. You can’t even detect the high moral ground from where torturers live and apologists only enable them. Get a moral compass and learn how to use it.

    Ironically, when I was trained in the Geneva Conventions (when I was in the military) what they’re doing now was taught as illegal torture. Until it became expedient to ignore the values of our country for political power.

  42. #42 Fernando Magyar
    September 7, 2007

    Moses, I agree with your view that this is not a trivial matter and the members of the current administration should be tried and justly convicted of crimes against humanity. I imagine they’d probably hire Alan Dershowitz as their defense attorney. Oh, never mind, Alan believes torture is ok as long as you get the proper warrants, the current administration does not.

  43. #43 Tyler DiPietro
    September 7, 2007

    “Wasn’t he under investigation about sexual harrassment of an subordinate, and wasn’t he giving testamony about sexual involvement with another subordinate, and perjured himself?”

    He was impeached for having a bad memory, you fool!

    (Start placing bets on whether the wingnut will detect the irony.)

  44. #44 Warren Terra
    September 7, 2007

    If you missed The Chasers’ other APEC video DrBadger linked to above (in #5), you should check it out. Three minutes of pure joy.

  45. #45 stroup
    September 7, 2007

    Ex Patriot: You shouldn’t feel ashamed to be an American on account of Bush. As an Australian, I think that the majority of educated people here (and hopefully in most countries outside of the US) can draw the distinction between the actions of the Bush (mal)administration and the American people. (One only needs to look at approval ratings to see the discord).

    Personally, I would hate for myself or my country to be judged solely on the policies and the toadying, sycophantic behaviour of our own Prime Minister Howard, whose stumpy legs can often be seen protruding from Bush’s arse.

  46. #46 Brachychiton
    September 7, 2007

    No one EVER suspects us Canadians. MU-ha-Ha-HA-HA!

    Now everyone will be suspicious of the Canadians, thanks to the boys at the Chaser.

    BTW, they did it again. This time with ‘vehicles’ made out of cardboard boxes and paper plate wheels. Although they weren’t in the security zone, the cops stopped them and confiscated their cardboard cars.

  47. #47 SteveM
    September 8, 2007

    #33 “Are you serious? Other than not being able to clip my nails on the airplane what freedom’s have I sacrificed? Handicapped parking is more of an inconvenience.”
    Are you serious? How about habeas corpus? How about wiretapping without court order? Do you really believe that no one is in Gauntanamo by mistake? How do they get out without the right to a lawyer and to challenge their arrest?
    And as for airport security, yes, confiscating everyone’s nail clippers and water bottles and sneakers really made us more secure.

  48. #48 Phoenician in a time of Romans
    September 8, 2007

    I am ashamed to admit that I am a American, although I do live in Europe. I wouldn’t wish the shrub on people as good as the Australians are.

    I live in New Zealand. I would.

    Mwahahahahah.

  49. #49 Ichthyic
    September 8, 2007

    Other than not being able to clip my nails on the airplane what freedom’s have I sacrificed?

    if you don’t know, you don’t care. I suppose you missed the whole wiretapping episode, for one, since you bury your head in the fucking sand?

    typical of ignorant rethuglican supporters.

    congratulations.

    your a good american.

  50. #50 Ichthyic
    September 8, 2007

    (Start placing bets on whether the wingnut will detect the irony.)

    you shouldn’t have mentioned it, but even THEN i doubt he will be tipped off. right wingers have a tremendously poor sense of irony and wit.

    I’ll put a fiver on it, though I will want odds now that your message and this one exist.

  51. #51 ChrisC
    September 8, 2007

    “Hey, maybe Australia could keep him”

    No… for the love of Jebus no! I’m an Aussie, and let me tell you, we’ve got a big enough problem with our own war apologising, climate change denying, civil liberty defying prime minister John Howard. This is a man who boast of his close relationship with Dubbya.

    Sorry America. You’ll have to take him back. We appreciate your problems but we’ve got problems of our own over here.

    P.S.

    There are three species of blue ringed octopus: Hapalochlaena lunulata, Hapalochlaena maculosa and Hapalochlaena fasciata. There are only two recorded deaths in Australia from these octopi, although Hapalochlaena lunulata is found throughout the Pacific, so there may be more unrecorded deaths.

  52. #52 mark
    September 8, 2007

    Speaking of the Asshole-in-Chief in Australia…Coinciding with that trip, I heard on the radio (CBC’s “As It Happens”) about concern for an Australian turtle that breathes through its ass.* Reptiles of a feather, I guess.

    *I thought this was a new discovery, but such creatures have been known a while. The newsy part was that this species, codiscovered by Steve Irwin, may be endangered, and there appear to be very few males around.

  53. #53 Troff
    September 8, 2007

    Two things:

    1) Guys, seriously. Some of us are hoping Bush will take our Prime Minister John Howard back with him. He’s not as stupid and dangerous as Bush, but he’s sure got aspirations that way.

    2) Hi Moses. This is the Science Blog I read most frequently and regularly. Hey, you should see what’s going on back in Effect Measure. I had – oh, heck, just go and read it. It’s funny, people there trying to correct me and – oh heck, you just have to see it.

  54. #54 Honjii
    September 8, 2007

    I was under the impression that the Australians were very selective about the people they allowed to enter their country. I guess they’ve really lowered their standards.

  55. #55 Brian Macker
    September 8, 2007

    “And, really, what does Clinton’s impeachment for perjury have to do with this?”

    Follow the link that Myers found so brilliant and read the comments. You’ll find that it wasn’t brought up by a wingnut as you so affectionately call them. You are the one who thinks this means something with your asinine comment, “I’ve noticed the wing-nuts have been going crazy in every thread related to this subject on every blog I’ve frequented today.” I notice idiots on both sides all the time. So what? Especially on topics such as this.

  56. #56 Brian Macker
    September 8, 2007

    Rey Fox,

    “Okay fine. He was impeached for sexual harassment. And lying about sexual harassment. Does this somehow make it less trivial?”

    Perjury is damn serious. Sexual harrassment is also fairly serious if we are to believe Democrats who have basically made it a crime to ask a girl out at work if she feels dehumanized by it. Of course, Clinton was alleged to have done much more than make a mere request for a date.

    “Does this somehow make it stack up to Bush’s crimes more?”

    I keep hearing about these supposed crimes but they just don’t hold water when investigated in a sane fashion. There are no crimes behind his election, he didn’t steal it. Mismanagment of a war isn’t a crime. That some idiots sexually humiliated some prisoners isn’t a crime that the president is responsible for. Many of the claims made by people like Joe Wilson have turned out to be proven lies, and so on and so forth.

  57. #57 Brian Macker
    September 8, 2007

    Don,

    Bullshit, really. I’m calling out both sides for their abuses. You idiots think that the solution is the Democrats for some weird reason. Meanwhile the Democrat candiates are as bad as the Republicans.

    I think a pacifist position is just as wacked out as a hawk position. Being against war for pacifist reasons is stupid. Much of this talk about Bushes crimes is based on the naive belief that all war is wrong.

  58. #58 David Marjanovi?
    September 8, 2007

    There are no crimes behind his election, he didn’t steal it.

    He didn’t.

    The first time it was a coup by the SCOTUS who stopped the counting of the votes and declared Fearless Flightsuit the winner because otherwise his right to winning might have been impugned; the verdict contains a clause that declares it does not set a precedent.

    The second time he had to rely on Diebold, ES&S, Sequoya, and Triad Systems… not to mention Kenneth Blackwell.

    Mismanagment of a war isn’t a crime.

    Starting a war of aggression is a crime.

    Mismanagement of a war is “worse than a crime — it’s a mistake”…

  59. #59 David Marjanovi?
    September 8, 2007

    There are no crimes behind his election, he didn’t steal it.

    He didn’t.

    The first time it was a coup by the SCOTUS who stopped the counting of the votes and declared Fearless Flightsuit the winner because otherwise his right to winning might have been impugned; the verdict contains a clause that declares it does not set a precedent.

    The second time he had to rely on Diebold, ES&S, Sequoya, and Triad Systems… not to mention Kenneth Blackwell.

    Mismanagment of a war isn’t a crime.

    Starting a war of aggression is a crime.

    Mismanagement of a war is “worse than a crime — it’s a mistake”…

  60. #60 David Marjanovi?
    September 8, 2007

    Some aspects of mismanaging a war are criminal, though. Occupying a country and then doing nothing against looters is a crime.

  61. #61 David Marjanovi?
    September 8, 2007

    Some aspects of mismanaging a war are criminal, though. Occupying a country and then doing nothing against looters is a crime.

  62. #62 yoyo
    September 8, 2007

    as aussies we are all very proud of them. stay in touch with the story tho’ they could get up to 6 mths for embarrasing the fools at apec.

  63. #63 Tyler DiPietro
    September 8, 2007

    “Much of this talk about Bushes crimes is based on the naive belief that all war is wrong.”

    It appears that one of the “sides” you are calling out for their “abuses” is a figment of your own imagination. You won’t find them here.

  64. #64 Vlad the Impala
    September 9, 2007

    While I love a good argument over whether Bush Junior stole the 2000 and 2004 elections or not, I’m surprised how few people are actually discussing what the Chaser guys did. Firstly, what the Chaser guys did was not just funny, they performed a valuable service to Australian taxpayers (like myself). If we’re going to spend $165 million dollars, or $250 million according to other sources, we want effective security, not a bunch of clowns disrupting the city of Sydney but barely even inconveniencing terrorists. What we actually got was a joke, security opera of little value. The Chaser should be thanked for exposing that.

    The other point is that they’ve put the lack of terrorist attacks in a completely different light. There were no terrorist attacks on the conference, not because security was so tight that terrorists couldn’t get near the place, but because there weren’t any there. That’s not to say that there are no terrorists at all, but we’re clearly over-reacting to a rare threat.

    More here (and in case I mess up the HTML, here’s the URL again:
    http://northernplanets.blogspot.com/2007/09/chaser-security-prank-success.html

  65. #65 Richard R
    September 9, 2007

    “Hey, maybe Australia could keep him”

    No thanks, we DEFINITELY don’t want him!

  66. #66 Chris
    September 9, 2007

    Vlad: It’s true that real terrorists could have gotten through security as easily as comedians did, but why would they bother? They’re fighting us over there so they don’t have to fight us over here. Let *us* deal with the logistical pains in the ass so we can deliver thousands of live targets right to their hometowns. That’s just fighting smart (something the Bush Administration is clearly incapable of).

    In fact, even when they *did* fight us over here they used stolen “weapons” to do so. They’re fighting on a shoestring – but they know how. I predict that if there is another major terrorist attack on U.S. soil, it will be not with weapons smuggled into the country, but with material bought or stolen inside the U.S. and then converted into a weapon. Lucky for us McGyver only uses his powers for good.

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