…and this is a 
I get email
Category: Weirdness
Posted on: September 21, 2007 3:04 PM, by PZ Myers
I don't just get ranting hate mail. I also get conversion stories and invitations to believe. These are saddest and most pathetic emails of them all—you just want to weep for the credulity of the poor victim.
True Good News. God is real. Jesus is Lord.
I know God is real because he spoke and acted for my salvation
Short Version: God said to me,"Good News", and soon after I recieved a Good News bible.
Full experience:
I was down Pittsburgh, finishing up a day of work at Cargenie Mellon as I was working as a computer consultant for the Career Center. It was a pretty cool job. I'd write some software, modify hardware, or just do some light work such as deliver mail. I felt pretty much complete, after having a long hard time in school. To finally be working was a great feeling. I decided to go out for Sushi. At the Sushi place, I was seated in front of an aquarium where a single fish swam. I thought on the situation that there was a specimen of beauty in front of me, yet I'm going to be eating fish soon. There was music playing which I think was Japanese. I finished my food and tipped the waitress. Before I left, I wished a Bob Marley song would play. The next song on the radio was a Bob Marley song. I thought that was pretty cool. So I left, and was walking back to work to check in and see if anyone needed anything. While I was walking over a bridge, I heard God say to me,"Good News". It was like a whisper, but it came with authority. I had to understand what it meant. I felt compelled to go straight to my car and drive. When I was driving I felt as if I should go towards home, and while I was driving, I felt unable to turn my eyes to look at billboards or be distracted from the road. I had an effect similar to tunnel vision where everything but what was necessary for driving was being filtered out. Eventually I passed my old church that I went to when I was young, but haven't for several years. My dad was there doing maintaince on the graveyard. I felt this is where I needed to go. I stepped inside the church and my dad and I talked. We held hands while talking and our arms were trembling. I don't think I mentioned being told the,"Good News". He went upstairs and brought down a Good News bible for me.
Before God spoke to me, I was writing philosophical papers on peace. Its full of poetry, slang, and cultural analysis... So its not for everybody. I only post this so people know what state of mind I was in before God spoke to me. It shows that I wasn't looking for God, but the way. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Jesus is Lord.
Better yet, read your bible.
If you still have time to read on, I'll explain how you can discern the bible as truth. The bible has prophesy. No person or belief system has predicted the future like the bible has, they have all proven to be fakes.
A) In 700BC the prophet Isaiah predicted the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem by Cyrus. Isaiah 44:28 At the time, the temple was not even destroyed. Later the temple is destroyed,and over a hundred years later it was ordered to be rebuilt. The man who decrees the temple to rebuilt is Cyrus the Persian.
B) Isaiah also predicted Jesus Christ. Read Isaiah 53. It details Jesus' life quite directly. "We despised him and rejected him; he endured suffering and pain. No one would even look at him- we ignored him as if he were nothing. But he endured the suffering that should have been ours, the pain that we should have borne. All the while we thought that his suffering was punishment sent by God. But because of our sins he was wounded, beaten because of the evil we did. We are healed by the punishment he suffered, made whole by the blows he recieved. All of were like sheep that were lost, wach of us going his own way. But the Lord made the punishment fall on him, the punishment all of us deserved. He was treated harshly, but endured it humbly; he never said a word. Like a lamb about to be slaughtered, like a sheep about to be sheared, he never said a word. He was arrested and sentenced and led off to die, and no one cared about his fate. He was put to death for the sins of our people. He was placed in a grave with evil men, he was buried with the rich, even though he had never commited a crime or ever told a lie." The Lord says,"It was my will that he should suffer; his death was a sacrifice to bring forgiveness. And so he will see his descendants; he will live a long life, and through him my purpose will succeed. After a life of suffering, he will again have joy; he will know that he did not suffer in vain. My devoted servant, with whom I am pleased, will bear the pubishment of many and for his sake I will forgive them. And so I will give him a place of honor, a place among great and powerful men. He willingly gave his life and shared the fate of evil men. He took the place of many sinners and prayed that they might be forgiven."
Seven hundred years before Jesus, his life was predicted by Isaiah speaking as instructed by God.
Now these aren't the only prophesy that exist in the bible. There are over a thousand predictions in the bible. All predictions come true.
If you have a bible and want to learn the true meaning of the water into wine miracle, turn to Isaiah 1:20. Isaiah talks about the people on how they've lost their righteousness as wine turns to water. Jesus turns unrighteous sinners into righteous members of the kingdom. He changed water into wine. And don't forget the comment on the wine being better than the first.
Shorter weird story: he believes he could magically control which song comes up the radio, he hears voices, his father who works in a church gave him a bible, the bible, which was collated and translated several centuries ago, describes (in vague terms) events that occurred 2000 years ago, and therefore god exists.
It's sad how even the nicest stories these people can drag out to persuade us make them sound like credulous morons.
Comments
It's also sad that the many times a person might wish to hear a Bob Marley song but God sees fit to play the Talking Heads instead goes unnoticed and unmentioned.
I have a friend who told me that she believes in god because when she was a rebellious teenager she tried, she REALLY tried not not believe, but just couldn't. That's it. This same lady's father is a Lutheran minister. Nah, that couldn't possibly have anything to do with it...
Posted by: Kat | September 21, 2007 3:22 PM
Sad, indeed. On the other hand, stories like these provide some of the best insight into the nature of magical thinking and pareidolia available - traits that humans often are very prone to, and probably has provided some evolutionary advantages along the way.
Posted by: forsen | September 21, 2007 3:23 PM
I'm glad that it was a pleasant experience, but it sounds like your friend had a little break from reality.
Glad it wasn't a violent one
Posted by: Diane | September 21, 2007 3:23 PM
The two people I know who became very energetic religious types as adults also had borderline mental problems and were often manic with all the magical thinking that entails. Controlling radios and hearing voices sounds like the kind of stuff I used to hear from them before they went all out religo (one RC and the other Hare Krishna).
Posted by: Comstock | September 21, 2007 3:27 PM
It's always striking to me how self-centered the faithful sound when they blather this kind of stuff.
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | September 21, 2007 3:30 PM
For a young male between 16-30 years of age, those can also be indicators of the onset of schizophrenia, too.
Posted by: thalarctos | September 21, 2007 3:30 PM
Finally -- an explanation for Pittsburgh drivers.
Posted by: eliza | September 21, 2007 3:30 PM
I've never gotten an answer from anyone trying to convert me as to why I should uncritically accept their conversion experience.
"So. . . these bizarre things happened to you, so I should just take your word for it? Uh, sorry, but would you like me to share my deconversion experience? I, too, once believed all sorts of magical things, but then one day I realized that the only thing that made a difference was the things that people actually do -- not prayers, not wishful thinking, not any sort of fantasy beliefs."
Posted by: Susan | September 21, 2007 3:30 PM
Random aside:
The Good News Translation is actually rather well-known for "sanitizing" certain passages. Sure, the King-James-Only folks will get up in arms over any other translation, but the GNT also makes some pretty drastic changes in order to coat the more bitter Biblical pills with aspartame. Most infamous is probably its rendition of Luke 14:26, which it turns around in order to make Jesus not sound like a fanatical cult leader.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | September 21, 2007 3:31 PM
He doesn't sound like a credulous moron so much as somebody in the early stages of a delusional mental illness that hadn't been diagnosed or treated, and now never will be, because irrational religious beliefs are exempt. Saw something similar when I went in to talk to the local Baptist minister, just for chuckles. Came out convinced that he was delusional, and had his crazy beliefs and distorted thought processes not happened to fit in with the dominant religion in his society, he would have been medicated and in an institution.
Posted by: Buffybot | September 21, 2007 3:32 PM
So, if I got this right, if I write a book wherein a character in the first half of the book predicts something that will happen in the second half of the same book ... it's all true?
Posted by: Felicia Gilljam | September 21, 2007 3:32 PM
Is Argument from God as a DJ a logical fallacy? Seems to me the break from reality started earlier than the post sushi entertainment if this person thought that a computer consultant delivers the mail.
Posted by: Ray S | September 21, 2007 3:33 PM
Sushiboy here is also wrong about Isaiah 53. In reading the NT, one can hardly attribute passages like "No one would even look at him- we ignored him as if he were nothing," to Jesus, when Jesus and his teachings are shown to be quite popular in the Gospels. Also, it's inaccurate to attach "Like a lamb about to be slaughtered, like a sheep about to be sheared, he never said a word" to Jesus, as Jesus has quite a lot to say to Pontius Pilate upon his arrest. Also, Isaiah 53 says nothing about Jesus's betrayal or resurrection. Many scholars interpret the "suffering servant" of this passage, not as Jesus, but as the nation of Israel itself. Here's some good reading on the whole "prophecy" thing.
Posted by: Martin Wagner | September 21, 2007 3:34 PM
I hate shit like that. If God see fit to talk directly to this jerk-wad, then how come the vast majority of us are expected to be satisfied with second-hand accounts from douchebags handing out Chick tracts outside the goddamn Albert's Pancake House, huh?
Hear that God? You're omnipotent! The rest of us would love a little whisper in our ear, just like you did for this dope! C'mon, I'm not hard to find: I've got a blog, I'm on Facebook and MySpace, I've got a cell phone, my home number's in the phone book, I've got five working email addresses, for chrissake!
Fuck. Somebody hears God talking directly to him and has the fucking gall to tell the rest of us we gotta sift through some ancient tome to get the same message?
It was stories like these that led me to conclude as a young child that if God really did exist he was an arbitrary asshole who deserved neither worship nor fear.
Posted by: Brownian | September 21, 2007 3:34 PM
Well at least he didn't wish for coldplay or something equally milktoast and subject the others around him with it.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | September 21, 2007 3:37 PM
Yesterday I was talking to some guy about cable news channels and I mentioned how they talk about Britney like it is a big news .. within seconds the TV (CNN) in the cafeteria we were in started talking about her ... therefore I believe in god ...
Posted by: AAB | September 21, 2007 3:40 PM
Rev. "BigDumbChimp": I suppose you meant to say milquetoast? You're not really helping the stereotypes of your own side ..
Posted by: Cyde Weys | September 21, 2007 3:41 PM
What Brownian said. It's a bizarre approach: I was converted because an omnipotent being spoke directly to me; you should believe because some book says some things. I've said before that I don't understand the psychology of proselytisers. They seem to have no grasp of how they come across to the very people they're trying to convert, which you think would be rather important in their chosen profession/hobby.
Posted by: Ginger Yellow | September 21, 2007 3:42 PM
Eliza: Ditto.
Posted by: mxracer652 | September 21, 2007 3:43 PM
Yep my bad, milquetoast. And my side? Which side would that be? Those who like Bob Marley more than coldplay?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | September 21, 2007 3:46 PM
There is medication available for people who experience things like this.
Posted by: ednamode | September 21, 2007 3:49 PM
Blake Stacey -
"Softening" the translation like the Good News Bible does is only a bad thing if you're a rabid fundamentalist. It actually points to a humanizing and modernizing of Christianity which is a good thing overall - the more modern and human a religion becomes, the less sociopathic it is toward modern society. As it is, the idolators of the King James version of the Bible often hold beliefs that run counter to what makes a good modern human. People who are willing to open themselves up to new translations often are more willing to take the book as metaphor, allegory and as a record of the myths, legends, history and rules of an ancient Mid-Eastern society rather than the literal word of God that must be followed, even if it no longer makes sense to do so.
The foundations of modern humanism are in the Bible, after all - there's still some good stuff in there. It's just a question of separating the good lessons from the dangerous, and in figuring out that the lessons are good because they promote something worth keeping, and not because they come handed down from a cleaned-up Greek version of a Hebrew war god.
Posted by: NonyNony | September 21, 2007 3:49 PM
Sounds like the writer went into a sort of dissociative state, which is actually fairly common. He's probably moderately bright and skeptically normal in other areas, not crazy at all. Our culture reinforces these kinds of stories.
Despite the sense that this is all cosmically important, the perspective is personal, a narrative anyone can relate to in order to reinforce belief in a universe in which we really matter to it. They seldom understand charges of arrogance or gullibility. They feel like they've just been the exact opposite -- humble, and following reason where it lead.
Posted by: Sastra | September 21, 2007 3:50 PM
It's also sad that the many times a person might wish to hear a Bob Marley song but God sees fit to play the Talking Heads instead goes unnoticed and unmentioned.
I, on the other hand, would be reasonably pleased to hear a Talking Heads song, so perhaps god was programming for me in such instances.
Frivolity aside, this guy sounds like he's undergoing a schizophrenic break. Not that I can diagnose from one email, not being Bill Frist, but if I knew this guy and he told me this story, I'd be seriously urging him to seek psychiatric advice. Those voices don't always stay pleasant.
Posted by: Dianne | September 21, 2007 3:55 PM
You need a filter setup on your email that counts the number of "Lord"'s, "God"'s, and "Jesus"'s in your inbound email and any email that exceeds a set amount of them, have it automatically reply to it with a copy of "kissing Hank's ass".
http://www.jhuger.com/kisshank.php
Posted by: Boosterz | September 21, 2007 4:01 PM
Sorry folks, you're all wrong. the reason he felt the way he did is directly related to one thing. He's from Pittsburgh. You know what kinda toll all of that tainted water musta had on him? Oh, wait we do now.
Posted by: firemancarl | September 21, 2007 4:05 PM
Sounds like a case of rotten sushi to me.
Posted by: dutch vigilante | September 21, 2007 4:06 PM
Marcus Ranum:
Do you mean like the woman who credits the almighty creator of the Universe and everything which exists with hooking her up on a Friday night? No, seriously:
http://tinyurl.com/36bbehSelf-centered doesn't begin to describe these people.
Posted by: H. Humbert | September 21, 2007 4:08 PM
I wonder, if i convert to christianity, would my new magical powers prevent RAP music from playing?
It would be totally worth it.
Posted by: qedpro | September 21, 2007 4:08 PM
Meanwhile, people suffer.
This god guy is really lethargic.
Posted by: Caucasian Jesus | September 21, 2007 4:10 PM
Dianne, I thought exactly the same thing. We see a number of problematic features in his email that lead me to wonder about psychosis of some sort.
First, individuals with schizophrenia have been shown to misperceive temporal sequencing. Thus, "I thought about a song and then it played" versus "the song played, and then I thought about it".
Second, auditory hallucinations are often experienced as whispers.
There are a few other things that that sounded suspicious as well [e.g., his writing style, his trance-like state] but I would have to know more about it to be sure if they're linked.
Posted by: oxytocin | September 21, 2007 4:21 PM
I have a friend who told me that she believes in god because when she was a rebellious teenager she tried, she REALLY tried not not believe, but just couldn't.
****************
I always wondered how someone tries "not to believe."
Maybe it was like that time I tried not collecting coins:
****************
HRRRGGGGGNNNHHHH face muscles straining Must... Not... Collect... Coins...
Crap. I've got two pennies in my pocket.
Guess I'm a coin collector for life.
****************
Hey, I really tried!
Posted by: TheFeshy | September 21, 2007 4:21 PM
I can't help but laugh...
A lot of you are saying that this guy sounds schizophrenic. To me he just sounds like many of the people I grew up with. His letter reads like the sermons and testimonials I heard in church.
They are always looking for omens and personal messages from God. Remember Jesus in water stains? And tree stumps?
People: This is religion!
Posted by: RamblinDude | September 21, 2007 4:22 PM
So, what happens when two Christians are listening to the same radio station but they're longing to hear two different songs?
Along those lines, why aren't Christians able to alter TV programming by wishing? It always seems to match what the TV guide says.
Posted by: gonzoknife | September 21, 2007 4:23 PM
Wasn't the prediction in Isaiah shown to be made after the rebuilding (Due to some city names that didn't exist before it got destroyed but mentioned in that part of the bible)?
Or am I mixing it up with one of the other prophets?
Posted by: Who cares | September 21, 2007 4:30 PM
More like dull minded morons. I couldn't read it beyond when he ordered his dinner at the sushi place. Maybe Jesus cares about the trivia of his life but I certainly don't.
Posted by: Bob L | September 21, 2007 4:31 PM
Isn't that just a god spam message that bible thumpers are sending to millions of people?
-jcr
Posted by: John C. Randolph | September 21, 2007 4:31 PM
One question: how did he know it was God's voice when he only heard 'Good News'? Couldn't have been Zeus, Odin, Thor, greek Lucifer, etc.? I mean, to think automatically that it's a god's word is a bit insane. I'd look under the bridge. I bet some hobos found some bread slices and they were all saying "good news! ..." then, while he was walking away, "we hobos have dinner!"
I always think it's sad, funny and frustrating that they think hearing some voices. A car could have passed by and the driver could've said good news. I guess it doesn't matter, except for the fact that people are too lazy to seek out who said it instead of saying "God did it".
Posted by: Colin | September 21, 2007 4:31 PM
I worked with a guy who would at the drop of the hat relate the "Miracle of the Oreos:"
One day he had no more than 6-8 Oreos in his lunch when a co-worker asked him about Jesus. He then proceeded to share the good news and Oreos - the whole lunch hour and they never ran out of Oreos! The 6-8 Oreos fed two people for an hour!
Which was of course followed up with "How do you explain that Mr. Skeptic?"
Posted by: Tom in Iowa | September 21, 2007 4:32 PM
And even if God were shown to exist, so flipping what? Why would I be obligated to accept his "authority"? By whose authority is God God? Nobody ever answers those questions. Everything that we know about abusive and dysfunctional relationships goes right out the window when we're talking about God. I think it's pathetic for people to get so excited about a pretend "authority" rather than get excited about their own lives and what they can accomplish.
How does one politely say (as I've been tempted to, but never have yet), "But I simply don't want to be anything like you"?
Posted by: Kristine | September 21, 2007 4:33 PM
Please, PZ, post more of these letters. I need a good laugh.
Posted by: Jim Wright | September 21, 2007 4:33 PM
My bad. I completely said that last part all wrong.
What I meant to say is people don't look for a natural, logical reason. They don't want to take it upon themselves to find out themselves. All they do is say, "God did it."
Posted by: Colin | September 21, 2007 4:34 PM
Anyone else think olanzapine when reading this? Shame an omniscient magic man can be cured by blocking serotonin receptors.
Posted by: AlanWCan | September 21, 2007 4:35 PM
Oh, H. Herbert, that link just made my day.
Translation for non-theists:
Meanwhile, people suffer. That's going to be my new catch-phrase when talking to faith-heads. Thanks, Caucasian Jesus!
Are you suggesting that the TV Guide makes prophesies that come true? This might be the new holy text we've been looking for.
Posted by: Brownian | September 21, 2007 4:36 PM
Cyde Weys said:
From your blog:
Pot, kettle, etc.
Posted by: Jim Wynne | September 21, 2007 4:36 PM
Strange, I misread the email title at first as:
It nearly made as much sense...Posted by: Bunjo | September 21, 2007 4:38 PM
Good News. I've been drinking since noon.
Posted by: bpower | September 21, 2007 4:41 PM
I've asked God to show me any kind of sign he wishes. I've asked demons to possess me, for the sake of demonstrating, at the presumed expense of horrendous earthly suffering, the existence of satanic agents. I've stared into my bathroom mirror in candlelight at midnight and said "Bloody Mary" and "Biggie Smalls" and "Jerry Falwell" thirteen times apiece.... nothing has ever happened. If all these entities see it fit to ignore me, I can only return the favor.
Posted by: J Myers | September 21, 2007 4:41 PM
This is God and I have the following message for you...
Dildos and Corn Muffins. Double-Snakity-Wibble-Wabble-Boo! Send me a dollar.
Posted by: God | September 21, 2007 4:41 PM
Who cares at #35:
I think you're correct: chapters 40-66 of Isaiah are commonly referred to as Second Isaiah, or Deutero-Isaiah, because most serious biblical theologians do not consider these passages to have the same author as Isaiah 1-39 (way too many differences in style and tone). The traditional date for Isaiah's authorship is 700 BCE, and that might even apply for the first 39 chapters, but most scholars place the writing of Second Isaiah at ca. 500 BCE, during or after Cyrus the Great's declaration to rebuild the Temple.
Ironically, I learned this in my religion class in Catholic high school.
Posted by: False Prophet | September 21, 2007 4:46 PM
Ah, the old prophecy argument. I heard that a lot in Bible studies back in my pre-atheist days. It's funny, too, how the same people dismiss the prophecies of, say, Nostradamus as being too vague to truly apply. Or that they're just retroactively fit to events and aren't TRUE prophecy. It's very frustrating that they don't realize the same arguments apply to biblical prophecy as well! And even more so, on account of it being written and edited by lots of people over many years.
It's scary that crap like that made sense to me at one time.
Posted by: kellbelle1020 | September 21, 2007 4:48 PM
A) Isaiah 44 is written after the earlier chapters of Isaiah (I believe it's 1-40, and either 1 or 2 authors from then on though the second author split is up for debate). In fact, it's written after the temple and thus is simply reporting "The Temple was built." rather than "The Temple will be built." This is because in Hebrew there is perfect and imperfect tense. You can either be told that something is happening right now or it isn't happening right now. So if writing about the destruction of Tyre or something after the fact, it looks like a prediction when it's simply a description of what happened.
B) The Suffering Servant of Isaiah served as a template for writing the Gospel. It's no more a fulfilled Jewish prophecy than the Left Behind series would be the fulfilled Christian prophecy of Christian prophecy. The Gospels were made to fit the prophecies, they were written with that intent, and later edits simply added to that, such as the born of a virgin mistranslation and the of the line of David prophecy (which work together to make no sense at all).
Posted by: Tatarize | September 21, 2007 4:50 PM
Wait a minute...a Sushi place that plays both Japanese music and Bob Marley? Must've been quite the establishment. I'm going with #27 and suspecting food poisoning.
Posted by: Jess | September 21, 2007 4:50 PM
Is he sure the voice didn't say: "Good snooze"?
Heck, the whole thing might have been avoided by a good night's sleep.
Instead, we get someone committed to Jesus for life.
[sigh]
Posted by: George | September 21, 2007 4:58 PM
My favorite example is here. My jaw hit the floor when I first read this.
Posted by: noncarborundum | September 21, 2007 5:04 PM
Wonderful.
Posted by: `Tom Hall | September 21, 2007 5:10 PM
My former in-laws were total religious fanatics. They used to claim that the Lord saved them good parking spots, right next to the door of the mall. I'm serious. Back in those days, I was too polite to ask why God was fooling around reserving parking for affluent Americans while people were starving in Africa and Asia.
Not too long ago, I met a Mormon computer geek and paid him to come over and do some work on my computer. He took the computer apart and then wouldn't put it back together until he finished evangelizing me. He told me a long, bizarre story about how he and another guy were spending the night guarding a Mormon church that was under construction in Baton Rouge. They were awakened by bright lights and unearthly sounds. They looked at the unfinished church and watched in awe as it filled with angels who were emitting bright lights. Then he said, "how could anyone NOT believe that?"
I couldn't give him my real answer because he had my computer in pieces. When he finally left, I thought, that is the last time I allow a god damned Mormon in my house.
Posted by: dangerblond | September 21, 2007 5:10 PM
Obviously, he misinterpreted his supernatural experience. It was Bob Marley speaking to him from beyond the grave.
Seriously, though...
A friend had a psychotic break three years ago when she was away at school. It came out of nowhere. I know her quite well and she was a bright, vivacious, capable person.
According to her she was sitting in class when suddenly a voice whispered inside her head to turn her head to the left to look out the window. She lost volition and could not resist the command to turn her head.
It was the voice of God.
Soon after, she had a terrifying experience with an Ouija board. Before long she was unable to function in college, so she moved back home with her parents. Other auditory hallucinations followed. For example, she went to visit her grandparents, and as she walked in, the voice of a certain well-known rock musician started whispering in her head that their house wasn't safe. (She now says she had been abused there as a child.)
This went on for well over a year before she admitted that maybe this was happening only in her head. But she admitted this on the same night she told me she was sure that she was the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe.
Some of that may sound kinda funny, but I don't mean it to. I mourn for her. I mourn the loss of her sanity. I don't know who she is anymore, and neither does she. FWIW - She's quite religious now. Before all this started, she wasn't. Not at all.
Posted by: Kseniya | September 21, 2007 5:10 PM
This thread gets my vote for funniest Pharyngula thread ever. I've been chuckling and chortling, with occasional guffaw, throughout.
Thanks for the laughs, lads and ladies. :)
Posted by: Robert | September 21, 2007 5:21 PM
when I was 12 I thought I could manipulate the next day's weather by ordering beads a certain way on a pin...and I still didn't really believe in god then!
Posted by: darwinfish | September 21, 2007 5:25 PM
"And it's not like I've got anything better to do with My time", God continued, feigning a yawn. "Refugees in Darfur and anencephalic babies are so yesterday!"
Posted by: thalarctos | September 21, 2007 5:26 PM
The foundations of modern humanism are in the Bible, after all - there's still some good stuff in there.
Yeah, I am particularly fond of the word "the."
Seriously, though - there's "good stuff" in the bible? If so, it's largely accidental. You mean the "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you?" and all that? Y'know, I don't think that the (very mortal) authors of the bible were the people who thought that one up.
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | September 21, 2007 5:27 PM
Sounds like the writer went into a sort of dissociative state, which is actually fairly common.
Lots of street drugs will do this to you (as well as some prescription ones like dextramorpham) - like you said, it's a fairly common phenomenon. When I've talked to people who spend a lot of time tripping, I frequently get stories like sushiboy's - it's just that frequently they contextualize the disassociative experience with something like "Wow. I want to play dance dance revolution!" instead of "Wow. Teh Gohd is pwn3d me!"
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | September 21, 2007 5:37 PM
Odd. Just the other day I was thinking that my local radio station was playing way too much Bob Marley.
Posted by: Eric Robinson | September 21, 2007 5:42 PM
I see his mistake. Auditory hallucinations do occur, and they can be really weird. The first time can be freaky, but once you understand them they're actually pretty cool.
I once had a coworker who came in to work with a face -- like they say -- like he'd just seen a ghost. Before his alarm had gone off, he woke up to the sound of his mother's voice -- the voice of his dead mother. He was really freaking out, wondering if he was being haunted.
I asked him if when he lived with his mother had she usually called up to him to wake him, and he got this really strange look on his face, wanting to know why. I explained about auditory hallucinations, and how people's minds can interpret them into a host of things, from gunshots to explosions to voices to car crashes. He'd had one near waking and his brain fell back on old habits, interpreting the impulse as his mother's voice. These hallucinations often happen near waking or when falling asleep, but they can happen at a quiet moment when part of the brain is going partly to sleep.
The CMU guy, despite his trust in computer science to solve problems, instead put his trust in make believe to explain an auditory hallucination and look where that nonsense took him. If he'd studied some physiology, he would have figured it out right quick.
That's the problem with religion and any other kind of magical thinking: it squanders resources on something that isn't there, distracting people from starting to deal with their problems. I'll bet he doesn't consult the sky fairy when he's trying to debug software.
Posted by: CRM-114 | September 21, 2007 5:44 PM
My sister and I were driving in Connecticut and were talking about AC/DC. I asked her if she had ever heard the song "Big Balls". She hadn't but we were both laughing that it was the very next song that the radio station played. Maybe I should reconsider that this is a message from the big guy. I wonder what he could have been telling me by them playing that song though. ;^)
Posted by: Mena | September 21, 2007 5:47 PM
A little OT, I'm looking for some new car sounds. The usual:AM, FM, CD, MP3, XM RAdio. But now that I'm hearing that I can get God on the radio, do you know which makes offer God and is it a subscription service? Thanks in advance.
Posted by: juflu, FCD | September 21, 2007 5:47 PM
It is implied that ordinary driving requires paying attention to billboards and otherwise being distracted from the road. Geez. Jumping into a car while experiencing "an effect similar to tunnel vision"? this is tantamount to Driving Under the Influence.
Posted by: Arnosium Upinarum | September 21, 2007 5:48 PM
I'd like to recommend to your letter-writer, and all and sundry, a book called "The Unauthorized Version", by Robin Lane Fox. While it's by no means the last word on biblical history, it gives a good broad treatment of the topic. Of relevance to the current discussion -
No part of our modern bible can be traced back further than 700BC, and that's being optimistic. We do have fragments of texts dating back to around the mid 600s, and over the course of history, we have different and conflicting versions of every single book. The reference to Cyrus in Isaiah can be readily explained by the fact that the version of Isaiah we use - along with a huge amount of the material in the first dozen books or so - was set down in its current form *after* 539BC, when the Persians released Israel from Babylonian captivity and the cult of Yahweh in Jerusalem was restored after a near 50-year hiatus.
Furthermore, we have clear evidence that there are two distinct books of Isaiah, written over a hundred years apart, which have been merged together into one.
In slightly more recent events, there's a clear effort by the gospellers to shoehorn the events of Jesus' life into various prophecies - the Nativity story being one of the more obvious examples. There are numerous contradictions regarding it both within the Bible and with external sources, and the whole thing is best read as various author's attempts to cobble together oft-quoted bits of messianic prophecy into a semi-coherent narrative.
The most remarkable thing about the history of the Bible, to me, is that nearly every significant advance in our knowledge of the subject is over a hundred years old itself! It seems as though initially there was at least some effort by theologians to grapple with the ramifications of what the historians had uncovered (the Unitarians took all this in stride, I'm sure), but nowadays it really seems as though the preferred state among religious "thinkers" is to simply be oblivious to the subject.
And on an absolutely unrelated note, I notice my postings are getting held more often - but not always... Is there a guide somewhere to what triggers that? I'd like to avoid that.
Posted by: K. Signal Eingang | September 21, 2007 5:50 PM
Cynics! I was convinced. And I just accepted Jesus into my life. All will be wonderful, while you folks are buying handbasket tickets.
I don't know how it will work out though. He ate the last sausage in the fridge - even though it was clearly marked "Sam's Sausage". And he hogs the duvet.
Posted by: Sam | September 21, 2007 5:55 PM
My conversion experience was pretty cool. Using integral calculus I worked out how to measure the amount of gasoline in a cylindrical tank resting on its side from the depth of the liquid and the tank inside dimensions. The solution proved our supplier had been cheating us. I've believed in calculus ever since.
Posted by: 6EQUJ5 | September 21, 2007 5:58 PM
Not really given to anecdotes, I am of the same era as PZ`s bell bottoms, the first time around! I have an old friend, an artist. He is by my estimation the most christian of christians...Even though he has seen the devil at the bottom of his bed, jesus in the local grave yard and he knows that Jimi Hendrix is/was the reincarnation of jesus christ. An intelligent man, he applied for and obtained a place on the theology (degree) course at the local university. He did two terms without problem until they discovered the state of his mental health. Unfortunately this happened on his 40th birthday, the theological students from his year were invited to his party. Approximately 8 of them came and stayed in a clump all night alchol and drug free. The man in question dressed as the female version of Bates in Psycho, Wig and knife included wandering around. A couple were dressed as jesus and mary and I cannot for the life of me remember any more.
Posted by: Tom Hall | September 21, 2007 6:02 PM
How amusingly self-centred this fellow is. To think that the omniscient, omnipotent creator of the universe would be interested enough in his filthy little life to actually talk to him? Were such a stupendously powerful being to exist, it would surely be totally uninterested in us mere apes.
The feeling inspired by being talked to directly by such a being would inspire in me the feeling a spider has when you trap it under a glass. And here's this chap saying "oh goody, I've been chosen!" Before he knows it, there's a piece of card sliding in under the rim of the glass and he's in a whole world of shit.
Posted by: Willo the Wisp | September 21, 2007 6:03 PM
Funny how when God/Jesus speaks to these people, he never reveals anything that the person in question couldn't possibly know and that would be truly revolutionary...like a cure for cancer, how to regenerate a kidney or how to build an interstellar propulsion system. In fact, the Big Guy rather resembles Ramtha, who in the immortal words of Carl Sagan, only offers "bland homilies."
Posted by: Madam Pomfrey | September 21, 2007 6:08 PM
I dunno. But you can takt the Sheri Shepeherd IQ test online:
http://thestubborncurmudgeon.blogspot.com
Posted by: John Danley | September 21, 2007 6:25 PM
Willo the Wisp, You sound like a theist to me! You have the same self satisfied patronising tone.
Posted by: Tom Hall | September 21, 2007 6:29 PM
This was a perfect description of a hypomanic episode/ borderline psychosis. I guess the guy can be glad he didn't do anything stupid. Most likely a week or two later he was feeling in the pits. I hope he gets help. This can actually be treated quite effectively these days, providing the patient (or someone around him) realizes he has a problem..
Posted by: Oliver | September 21, 2007 6:31 PM
I hope this kid is reading this thread. OK, so if God, being all-knowing, was aware of not only my exact moment of conception but also that I would become an atheist in my later teenage years, (and more importantly, why), doesn't God owe me an explanation? I mean, it's not like I had a choice, if God already knew what my life would be like. He supposedly knows why I think the idea of him is a load of crap. I have no doubts a being capable of creating the universe could detect my intellectual integrity in this matter. Surely a being of such power could contrive some means of convincing me he's real. If my eternal soul depends on this crucial belief, and it pains God so much that I don't believe in him, he knows what to do. In fact, he could eradicate atheism in one fell swoop, if he really existed and the nonsense people like this kid believe in were actually true. Good luck, whoever you are. I hope you find your way back to reality someday.
Posted by: Brian | September 21, 2007 6:35 PM
"Oh no, we must not make the christians feel uneasy".
Posted by: Hank | September 21, 2007 6:40 PM
Wait, turning wine into water counts as a miracle too!?!
I do that all the time!
Posted by: Spaulding | September 21, 2007 6:44 PM
I doubt that he's reading this. Most of the email like that is, I suspect, from people who google "atheist", get a bunch of names, and fire off their carefully crafted screeds at the whole damned mob.
Posted by: PZ Myers | September 21, 2007 6:46 PM
But is it better than the first?
Posted by: PZ Myers | September 21, 2007 6:54 PM
I was listening to a tune