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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Category: Humor • Pirates
Posted on: September 17, 2007 3:40 PM, by PZ Myers
This would be something like Reason #5,422.
Another reason is that there's no such thing as "Talk Like a Ninja Day". (Psssst…19 September. Arrrr.)
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Comments
Hmm. Perhaps this deserves to be changed to Reason #1.
Posted by: Patrick Quigley | September 17, 2007 3:45 PM
Did you know that Jesus was a pirate?
Posted by: Caucasian Jesus | September 17, 2007 3:49 PM
To be fair, if "Talk Like a Ninja Day" actually involved talking, then it would ruin the point of being a silent assassin. "Talk Like a Ninja Day" would be more like "Shut the F*ck Up Day", which on some days is definitely an idea I could get behind. :-)
Posted by: EMR | September 17, 2007 3:55 PM
aw, jeez, not "Talk Like a Pirate Day" again. As my wife said last year, when's "Spit Like a Carthief Day" and "Sit Like a Rapist Day"? And as I pointed out last year, if we really wanted to talk like pirates these days, we ought to learn a dialect of Indonesian.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | September 17, 2007 4:05 PM
ARRRRRRR, Sven, ye be harshin' my mellow.
Posted by: Rey Fox | September 17, 2007 4:09 PM
Pirates get to plunder, and are gathered unto the Flying Spaghetti Monster to indulge in the beer volcano and enjoy the stripper factory.
Ninjas just flip out and get super pissed and swallow frisbees. Idiots.
Posted by: Dustin | September 17, 2007 4:24 PM
While I like the idea of a "Shut the F*ck Up Day", "Act Like a Ninja Day" would involve shutting the f*ck up and sneaking up behind people, then scaring the everliving crap out of them.
"Act like a Pirate Day" would involve lechery, robbery, and battery. Which be a bit of a rhyme, me hearties.
Posted by: stogoe | September 17, 2007 4:30 PM
Yes, I am a pirate, 200 years too late.
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder,
I'm an over-40 victim of fate,
Arriving too late. Arriving too late.
Jimmy Buffett, A Pirate Looks at 40
-- CV
Posted by: CortxVortx | September 17, 2007 4:35 PM
To git ya intha mood fer a bit o piratin.
Go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44LRhTnbjoo
A scene from "Yellowbeard" The pirate
Stagger stagger crawl crawl
Posted by: JamesR | September 17, 2007 4:37 PM
"Act Like a Ninja Day" would involve shutting the f*ck up and sneaking up behind people, then scaring the everliving crap out of them."
No. They would be dead too quickly to be scared.
And we'd also get to eat pizza and yell "COWABUNGA!"
Posted by: Rey Fox | September 17, 2007 4:38 PM
Forget Pirates and Ninjas..
ROBOTS!
Posted by: Jon Strong | September 17, 2007 4:38 PM
Surely, you all realise that the whole pirate-ninja rivalry was only started because the ninjas thought it would be funny.
Also: robot zombie ninjas.
Posted by: Joshua | September 17, 2007 4:44 PM
Robot zombie ninja cephalopods.
(Incidentally, this would be a good opportunity to test Internet Rule 34b: "If you can think of it, Japan has done it with schoolgirls.")
Posted by: Blake Stacey | September 17, 2007 4:48 PM
I must say, I have never understood the appeal of pirates. Piracy wasnt cool and fun, it was violent, brutish and short. Rape, theft, murder and slavery have never really been a source of fun for me..
Posted by: Donalbain | September 17, 2007 4:49 PM
Donalbain, if it was good enough for God, it's good enough for ALL OF US!
Posted by: Caucasian Jesus | September 17, 2007 4:54 PM
"I must say, I have never understood the appeal of pirates. Piracy wasnt cool and fun, it was violent, brutish and short. Rape, theft, murder and slavery have never really been a source of fun for me.."
The rapist, slaver murderers were false pirates, that's why we have Global Warming now. We are talking about TRUE Pirates™ here who plunder for a betterment of mankind.
Posted by: Bob L | September 17, 2007 4:57 PM
Ahem.
Talk like a pirate DAY... silent like a ninja in the NIGHT!
It's baaad ass!
Posted by: Sarcastro | September 17, 2007 4:58 PM
Violence and brutishness are enjoyable. See: Pro Wrestling, Ultimate Fighting, 24, Sin City, Fight Club, etc.
Posted by: stogoe | September 17, 2007 5:06 PM
Have you found a way to install the talk-like-a-pirate filter (as per the original Pharyngula website) on ScienceBlogs posts yet, PZ?
Posted by: SEF | September 17, 2007 5:08 PM
Wait a minute, according to my Despair, Inc. calendar, talk like a pirate day is on the 18th...
I suppose two is better than one.
Posted by: Sam | September 17, 2007 5:08 PM
R!! RRR R! R
!R R!R! R
!R!! !! R!R !
RRR R!
Posted by: R! | September 17, 2007 5:19 PM
I think you're missing a singleton exclamation mark (for morse E) at the end there.
Posted by: SEF | September 17, 2007 5:31 PM
D00ds do u know any 1337 warez sites!?
What? Wrong kind of pirate!?
Posted by: K. Engels | September 17, 2007 5:32 PM
!R !R! !R! RR! !!!!
Posted by: R! | September 17, 2007 5:45 PM
It just goes to show that if you dress up in a silly outfit and talk funny, you can get away with murder (and rape and pillage) and people will think you're cool!
Posted by: Ian B Gibson | September 17, 2007 5:52 PM
Bar-grragh! A'ordint 'ta http://www.talklikeapirate.com/tlapd07.html#Europe t's ni squakint da' ina France...
(I won't even attempt that en Français!)
Posted by: blf | September 17, 2007 5:59 PM
Piracy wasnt cool and fun, it was violent, brutish and short.
Wait, are we talking about pirates or Dick Cheney?
Posted by: Midwestern Gent | September 17, 2007 6:07 PM
Arrr, matey, it's the 19th for sure, it is, and has been for at least a couple of thousand years.
Posted by: noncarborundum | September 17, 2007 6:09 PM
Re: #9
"Wouldn't be the first head I've et."
-- CV
Posted by: c | September 17, 2007 6:09 PM
When was the last time you saw a ninja with wenches?
Never, because nobody ever sees a ninja; they'll silently kill you before you even know they're there.
Posted by: Kel | September 17, 2007 6:38 PM
As awesome as pirates admittedly are (and I point to Pirate Batman kicking a shark in the face as Exhibit A), I remain reluctant to crown them the winners.
Because, really, Dr. McNinja.
Posted by: Micah | September 17, 2007 7:35 PM
Not to mention the fact that some of the best ninjas are 'wenches'...
Posted by: K. Engels | September 17, 2007 7:51 PM
I always thought talk like a ninja day would be a bit difficult.
The requirement to carry subtitles around with you could get troublesome http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/010907.html
anyways stealth ninja pirate bunnies will defeat all
Posted by: Tacticus | September 17, 2007 7:56 PM
Yeah, but what about pirates who just happen to be ninjas (eg. One Piece?)
Posted by: Laser Potato | September 17, 2007 8:15 PM
Isn't there a "Shut the F*ck Up Day" ???
uh oh...
Posted by: dogmeatib | September 17, 2007 8:40 PM
Why don't we have a "take a pirate to work" day? Seems like a natural enough thing. Certainly better than "bring your violent, stinky, ill-mannered pet to work" day.
Posted by: Dahan | September 17, 2007 9:01 PM
Marge: So does that earring mean you're a pirate?
"Pirate": Kinda.
Posted by: MAJeff | September 17, 2007 9:08 PM
Come to think of it, Japan seems to be slow in providing us with Ninja Lolita. However. . . .
Posted by: Blake Stacey | September 17, 2007 11:05 PM
(No dialogue, only the calm serenity before unseen death.)
Posted by: False Prophet | September 17, 2007 11:42 PM
I wanna be one of those cool glow-in-the-dark ninjas...
Posted by: A Hermit | September 17, 2007 11:54 PM
Arrr! And please. We're not stupid. Yeah, yeah, we all know, real pirates are in fact bad. In other news, water is wet, and creationists are liars. That's why we here are all, in fact, fictional pirates. Except for those of us who are fictional ninjas, robots, cephalopods, zombies &c.
Avast! Flee from the wrath of Cap'n Kate Blackheart, ye scurvy po-faced landlubber, or prepare to die like a mangy squid! Arrr.
Posted by: cajela | September 18, 2007 12:25 AM
When was the last time you saw a ninja with wenches? When was the last time you saw a ninja period? That's right, boys. We sneak into your house and make sweet ninja love to your wife while your at work... sort of like the milk man.
Posted by: tom | September 18, 2007 12:30 AM
Someone hasn't played games or read hentai lately. Let me repeat: the best ninjas are wenches.
Posted by: Torbjörn Larsson, OM | September 18, 2007 4:22 AM
Ninjas:
1. Pizza
2. "Cowabunga!"
3. Nifty swords
4. Stealth
5. Demigod-like agility
6. Nunchaku
7. Cool outfits
Pirates:
1. Jack Sparrow
2. Rum
NINJAS WIN.
Posted by: Brandon P. | September 18, 2007 4:27 AM
T. rexes beat both though. As do cyborgs and Spartans.
Spartan ninja pirates riding cyborg T. rexes are clearly the pinnacles of awesome.
Posted by: Brandon P. | September 18, 2007 4:32 AM
Among my favorites are the Pirates Of Penzance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DJaNbD6R2s&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4Wj2yMuTIU&mode=related&search=
Posted by: bernarda | September 18, 2007 5:56 AM
Arghh...aye, it be talk like a pirate day tomorrow. But when is talk like a corsair day? All the plundering, sailing, raping and plank-walking - but with the king's permission. That's what I want - the chance to take whatever I want and not have to worry about some fool capturing me and making an example of me by hanging (or worse).
Posted by: Heather | September 18, 2007 7:32 AM
There are some good parodies of "Modern Major General" on youtube.
"I am the very model of a popular youtube auteur".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDxxuHkUMRI&mode=related&search=
"I am the very model of a modern major googler".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kp9KHc6qLXQ&mode=related&search=
"I am the very model of a Singularitarian"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnreVTKtpMs&mode=related&search=
Posted by: bernarda | September 18, 2007 10:17 AM
Micah has a point. After all, Dr. McNinja is a doctor who is also a ninja.
Posted by: Caduceus | September 18, 2007 3:53 PM
The second annual Minneapolis Pirate Pub Crawl is coming up on Oct. 6th. Last year Pirate Jesus attended! I just posted some photos from last year on my blog (including Pirate Jesus) Check out www.piratepubcrawl.com for more photos, a short movie clip from last year, and 2007 details. Hope to see you there!
Posted by: Zeolite | September 19, 2007 12:46 AM