You know, when a conservative Christian minister, graduate of Liberty University, and friend of Jerry Falwell is found dead under these circumstances…
Clothing: The decedent was received wearing two (2) wet suits, one scuba diving mask, one pair of diving gloves, one pair of slippers, one pair of rubber underwear, two (2) ties, five (5) belts, eleven (11) straps.
Personal Effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo.
…you know that somehow, somewhere, someone is going to blame the liberals.
Although I think Mrs Tilton has the right response — it's a shame and a waste that someone spent a life sanctimoniously denouncing people just like him. If he'd been a godless liberal, maybe he would have joined a club, been a little happier, had a lot less self-loathing, and still be alive today.
But man, two wetsuits? A little moderation in all things is a wise dictum.
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Jeez, I've heard of muff diving but...jeez...
not only a graduate, but apparently he was a Dean at Liberty University (before moving to Alabama, where, need I say, all of what he did to kill himself is *still* illegal. (In fact, I believe mere possession of a dildo is a crime, regardless of whether it has a condom on it or not)).
I used to have to listen to the police scanner every night at the newspaper, and something you couldn't fail to notice was that the cops used all sorts of colloquialisms to describe things -- a "hoodie" to denote a "hooded sweatshirt" and a "do rag" to denote a head covering, etc. -- but they ALWAYS used the formal-sounding "marijuana" in place of "pot" and "marijuana cigarette" instead of "joint."
I always suspected it was because they had to distance themselves from knowing too much about pot. Probably because they themselves used it and knew people who used it.
I'm amused that the coroner's report in this case uses the term "dildo." I'd think there would be some more formal term in the official paperwork.
...
And WTF?? TWO wetsuits?? I mean, I'm sure Jesus probably told him to take up scuba diving so he could minister to the hellbound sinners in the diver subculture, but ... damn.
Bloody hell, are there any prominent (homo/sexo)phobes who AREN'T just building a machinegun nest in the back of the closet?
I don't know if this says anything about the grand scheme of things- but
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7035294.stm
I'm a little naive in these matters. How does one hogtie oneself while wearing two wetsuits and all of that other stuff?
Forbidden pleasures are always the most desirable, at least to a mind that hasn't fully matured, or never will. The more you live in a culture where you can label a huge range of human behavior "deviant," the more potential there is for forbidden fun. This is an old, old story. Somewhere out in the Fertile Crescent, buried under the dirt, there is probably a skeleton of a high priest with a clay dildo up his ass.
It's just sad, that's all. The poor guy, whatever his faults, certainly didn't deserve to die.
To quote Clint Eastwood's character in the movie Unforgiven:
Or to quote an uncle of mine's humourous take on life:
Seriously, you're born, you die. Enjoy the bit in the middle.
Christians aren't perfect. They're just forgiven.
It is for other people to be perfect.
I think we can all read Matthew 23-24 and ask 'What would Jesus think about a religion where its preachers did not always practice what they preached?'.
And the answer is that Jesus would regard such a religion as outdated.
Darwin award!!! This guy really deserved it and deserves a big hand from the human race for checking out. Not for being into bondage and S&M but for being a fundie death cultist and not too bright. I have to admit I had no idea what the article was talking about but the link has a comment explaining it. I now know far more than I wanted to. Apparently he managed to strangle himself. Dumb.
And WTF?? TWO wetsuits?? I mean, I'm sure Jesus probably told him to take up scuba diving so he could minister to the hellbound sinners in the diver subculture, but ... damn.
Well, I never saw him at the meetings.
as any diver will tell ya:
It's hard to go down with two wetsuits on.
seriously, though, there does seem to be a rather sharp increase in hypocrite mortality of late.
Is it the rapture?
maybe we had it wrong all these years and it was the kinky who would inherit the kingdom of god?
if that's the case, maybe it wasn't as boring as we were led to believe.
Stop it. The schadenfreude, it hurts.
Now is the time for the question: WWJD?
One of the sites give a youtube of Paul Revere and the Raiders: "Kicks just keep getting harder to find".
I would suggest two more songs found on youtube. By Dr. Hook and the Medecine show: "Freakin' at the Freakers' Ball" and "Get My Rocks Off".
I have examined the evidence, and my conclusion is clear: he was possessed by demons summoned by athiests publishing their unholy books. Are you happy now?!
I wonder what DSM have to say.
I was just telling my flatmate about this, and he was speculating that maybe it was a murder staged to look like some bizarre fetish mishap. But no way, it'd be impossible to stuff a dead guy into two wetsuits. Unless ... was he all greased up?
Autoerotic asphyxia is a pretty common cause of death and the DSM has it listed as a somewhat dangerous paraphilia, IIRC.
Forensics books have sections on figuring out a death is autoerotic asphyxia, often the families would rather everyone believed their loved ones were raped and strangled with ligatures than that they died in a masturbatory accident.
But, you know ... this guy ... there's no way to hide this one, no matter how much anyone wanted to. The dildo, especially.
Don't play breath control games on your own, boys and girls. Many, many people die that way. Find a fellow pervert - we're out here, we're not hard to find, and we don't bite unless you ask nicely.
I really feel for the guy. For him, his fetish was a curse which probably brought him far more fear, shame and self-loathing than it ever did pleasure, and led to his death in a way his family are going to find it impossible to deal with. In another world, his fetish would have been a blessing for him as these things are for me, a wonderful endless source of fun; but his sky-fairy delusion barred him from happiness.
Also, the Smoking Gun article does not display the toxicology report supposedly attached. Is this because they don't have it, or because it was uninteresting?
it'd be impossible to stuff a dead guy into two wetsuits. Unless ... was he all greased up?
nope, that still wouldn't eliminate one or the other hypothesis, as many divers use either talc or lubrication to put on their wetsuits. However, the ones with nylon fabric inside and outside -especially the velour type of fabric on the inside- are much easier to don/doff.
I used to be in law enforcement, and for a period worked mainly on sexual offences - mostly it was the harmless panty-sucking weirdos who wouldn't have been a problem if only they'd done their thing at home rather than in shopping mall carparks, but also included serious and violent offenders such as serial rapists and predatory paedophiles. A really noticeable common thread that ran through it all was religion. In other kinds of crime, the religious offenders were there, but not overrepresented. But get into the kinky stuff and suddenly they dominated - pastors, priests, youth group leaders, authoritarian fundamentalist patriarchs who had sexually violated daughters and granddaughters, devout churchgoers galore. It was the hardline believers rather than liberal theist/agnostic types, and they didn't hesitate to rationalise what they'd done by cherrypicking the Old Testament (Deuteronomy was popular). Is there something about the fundamentalist sexual attitude of misogyny, sexual repression and obsessive preoccupation that fosters that kind of thing? If it was just people like this poor bloke who had a few quirks, but hurt nobody, then fine, whatever blows their skirts up. But if there's something in a fundamentalist background that is creating dangerous offenders, then that's a concern.
Thanks for clearing things up on the talc/lube issues, Ichthyic. I was thinking back to the last time I put on a wetsuit, and it was a struggle. Couldn't imagine going through that twice and having any energy left for activities as strenuous as whatever this guy was getting up to.
This whole scenario is way too much like something from a Carl Hiaasen book.
Couldn't imagine going through that twice and having any energy left for activities as strenuous as whatever this guy was getting up to.
indeed, suggests maybe in fact the poor boyo was using the standard neoprene with no lube at all; maybe he died of overexertion instead of asphyxia!
heck, I recall a couple of times using the older neoprene where I nearly killed myself with overexertion getting the damn thing on, and I was much younger than this poor fella (and not trying to put one on top of the other!).
oh, and just for filler, the lube we usually used was simply dishwashing soap, if talc wasn't available. as a bonus, the dishsoap was far easier to remove, and left your suit smelling of palmolive ("you're soaking in it!").
all went away after the nylon cloth interior suits got more popular, though.
Hyperthermia as a mitigating factor also comes to mind. I'm going to venture a guess that exerting oneself while wearing two wet suits would probably cause a rapid possibly fatal rise in body temperature.
hmm, yes, could be a contributing factor as well. Of course, it's really all idle (but fun!) speculation since the coroner listed the cause of death as "mechanical asphyxiation".
If the coroner listed the cause of death as "heart failure due to complications", or something similar, I would lend more weight the the idea that the wetsuits might really have had more to do with it.
OTOH, he could have been so exhausted after donning the multiple suits, that he made some silly errors...
at times like this, I feel that every "sensible" person in America should be sentenced to spend an entire day reading Wilhem Reich.
(whilst avoiding the truly loopy pseudoscience he's most famous for, of course.)
It ain't just conservatives in the U.S. A few years ago a Tory MP managed to kill himself. This story from the BBC gives a few details, but apparently there was much more forensic evidence.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/february/8/newsid_2538…
"Murder was ruled out.
Further details of the appearance of his body - including a black bin liner over his head and wearing stockings and suspenders - were consistent with auto-erotic sex practices.
At an inquest into his death a coroner recorded a verdict of death by misadventure and confirmed no traces of drugs or alcohol were found in Mr Milligan's body."
From a purely forensics POV, it'd probably be pretty easy to tell if he was stuffed into the suit and ropes after death (blood pooling, markings/bruising on the skin from the wetsuit and ropes, etc). Alternatively, if someone either sedated or convinced him to put the suit on it could be good, but toxicology would give away sedation and if he was ruled alone, it's probably very nearly impossible someone was with him. Besides, autoerotic asphyxia is just a lot more common than murder anyway.
If you had told me a week ago I'd be trying to rundown how you could fake an autoerotic asphyxia accident in a wet suit, I would not have believed you.
It's perfectly understandable to me. Given a choice between more common forms of sexual play with another boring adult from the theocracy of Alabama, the good minister opted for the Texas Instant Rapture method, first popularized by a small cult in Crawford.
I still don't understand how someone could hogtie themselves. I wonder if someone will be found to have been there and then fled the scene.
(NSFW link)
Carlie #32, me too, but a quick search shows it's easy.
re: 33
I'm still baffled - the link you send is too is missing.
The man was found with his hands and feet bound behind his back. And the police are sure that no foul play was involved?
He was actually found wearing a "Vote GW Bush 2004" T-shirt.
The police just dressed him in that other stuff to lower the embarrassment factor for the family.
Not to mention that wearing a wetsuit on land for any length of time is just sucking around for (heh!) hyperthermia.
Back when I used to be able to dive, I went out to Puget Sound once all dressed up and ready to go, but something didn't feel right that day, so I ended up not going in after all. Waiting around on shore in that wetsuit for my buddies to come back up, I damn near passed out from overheating.
No, it's not illegal to wear wet suits and scuba masks in Alabama! We do have sodomy laws, but in addition to their having been ruled unconstitutional, they only covered unmarried couples - anything an individual did by himself would be OK. Finally, possession of sex toys is not illegal, but selling them is (except for "educational" purposes).
Awe, man, this is Out There. And I thought these people had no imagination. (To the bereaved, my sincere condolences to hear about your terrible loss, and I really DO apologize, seriously, that I had suffered an uncontrollable bout of gasping for air laughing).
...Of Human Bondage...
This is too good to be true, man -- I live on the opposite side of the globe from you, and didn't believe when friends assured me Americans were weird...
God, I love your blog and envy your students: they sure have a teacher who can socratically pick'em!
Bravooooo
~K
"death by misadventure"
Sign. Me. Up.
I live in Montgomery and this was the rumor from pretty much day three after his body was found, when things started leaking out about the condition he was found in. Didn't surprise me much when this report came out.
Fuck the guy. He took out all his fear, shame and self-loathing on everyone else (or at the very least, supported those that did). You know that anyone trying to preach morality to you is really trying to make up for their own (perceived) failures.
are there any prominent (homo/sexo)phobes who AREN'T just building a machinegun nest in the back of the closet?
There are, famously, no atheists in foxholes. Presumably not many in machinegun nests in the backs of closets either, then.
Two ties? Well, nice he was formally dressed, I suppose.
You sound a little defensive. Obviously you're compensating for a low self-image.
Tell me about your mother...
Also:
#41: day three after his body was found, when things started leaking out
Eeewww.
John Morales - ew! Well, it looks absurdly easy, now that I've seen it illustrated. At least if you're limber. It's the getting out of it part that gets you, I guess.
Snickersnork!
ESTRAGON:
What about hanging ourselves?
VLADIMIR:
Hmm. It'd give us an erection.
ESTRAGON:
(highly excited). An erection!
VLADIMIR:
With all that follows. [...]
ESTRAGON:
Let's hang ourselves immediately!
- Beckett, Waiting for Godot
Wikipedia:
Historically, the practice of autoerotic asphyxiation has been documented since the early 1600s. It was first used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction and impotence.[2] The idea for this most likely came from subjects who were executed by hanging. Observers at public hangings noted male victims developed an erection, sometimes remaining after death (death erection), and occasionally ejaculated when being hanged. Note that, however, ejaculation occurs in hanging victims after death because of disseminated muscle relaxation; this is a different mechanism from that sought by AEA practitioners.
It was God's will.
Anyone know the movie "The Ruling Class" with Peter O'Toole? Difficult but ultimately intellectually rewarding satire.
The 13th Earl of Gurney dies in an autoerotic mishap wearing an Admiral's Jacket and pink tutu, leaving the estate and title to his nephew Jack who has been committed to an insane asylum for believing he is Jesus Christ.
Hank-
Dildo is the proper term for a penis shaped sex toy meant for penetration. "Synthetic phallus" may sound more medically jargon-ish, but isn't half the fun of writing D*I*L*D*O* in an autopsy report.
Thanks for clearing things up on the talc/lube issues, Ichthyic. I was thinking back to the last time I put on a wetsuit, and it was a struggle.
Try wearing panty-hose under the wetsuit next time. (I mean while scuba diving! really! :)
Is Zed dead too?
Good post buffybot. We've all noticed this correlation before. My own introduction was decades ago. A college dormie kid attacked a few coeds late at night at random. Shortly afterwards he stabbed another young girl to death. No motive, no explanation. But wait, turns out he was from some hardcore home school fundamentalist Xian cult no one ever heard of. The combo of extreme sexual repression, hostility from his wingnut upbringing, and the collision with the real world, was too much for him.
Then there are the fundie death cults that don't believe in modern medicine and let their kids die of treatable conditions. We've seen that not too long ago.
I'm just going to say it. Hardcore fundie death cults produce psychologically twisted adults. These people have such miserable, empty, meaningless lives that their fondest hope is to die. That is why they babble incessantly about the apocalypse and rapture and armageddon. It isn't a threat, it is a desire of theirs.
We gather here to eulogize
The Pastor and the Man
Old Gary Aldridge, often wise,
Though not his latest plan.
A member of the Christian nation,
Friend of Jerry Falwell,
His last attempt at masturbation
Didn't go at all well.
For fifteen years, he'd preached the word
A Southern Baptist minister
His death--now, is it just absurd
Or something rather sinister?
How does a person come to wear
Not one wetsuit, but two?
(Although, I know, I should not care
I'm curious--aren't you?)
I tend to think that, years ago,
He spied a rubber glove,
And wondered "Should I--well, you know--
When God and I make love?"
He tried it on, and found a tube,
Half hidden on his shelf,
Of KY--smiled, and murmered "Lube
Thy neighbor as thy self."
And minutes later, hard at work,
He felt a little odd
Was this a sin, or just a quirk?
He talked it out with God.
"Is what I'm doing here a sin?
Or is my pleasure Thine?
Is this as bad as skin on skin?
Lord, please, give me a sign!"
So God produced a pamphlet: "Your
Vacation in Aruba!"
And pointed out--right there, page four--
The wetsuits used for SCUBA
See, God's not really how you think
A deity might be
He's got a wicked bondage kink
(Just ask His son, J. C.)
So Gary died, not steeped in sin
But following God's plan;
So straight to Heaven--come on in!
And bring the wetsuits, man!
A story, sure, but it may yet
Explain what happened then.
The moral is, please don't forget:
Your safeword is "Amen".
well, class, now that we're onto ejaculation whilst hanged (I know I know), let's all sit quietly and read through "Cities of the Red Night."
Christian Clown In Perv Bust
WWJCD?
What Would Jacques Cousteau Do?
I think the RNC bumped Aldridge off in order to make Larry Craig look normal.
Cuttlefish, #54 -- that is a work of genius.
#54, wow.
Thanks and WOW.
Cuttlefish is clearly angling for a Molly. (And he just might get it.)
If you elide the "tis", this excerpt from Olivia Judson's Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation (pp. 100-101) may explain much of the Reverend Aldridge's motivation:
Iow, he was trying to overcome his repressive mental conditioning - a miscalculated step on the road to personal liberation. With a little better skill at knots, he might have eventually become one of us!
Cuttlefish: Dude, you rock!
Let's see...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Umm...I'll get back to ya.
Ok...I have a wet suit I use for windsuring.....and it's a bitch to put on.....how the fvck would you get one on, let alone two, with a dildo up your ass!
This sounds like something that takes lots of practice...Gotta love them crazy Christians!
Cuttlefish is clearly angling for a Molly.
Since we're still weeks away from voting, here's a gold star for Cuttle's efforts.
Look, PZ, if you have to ask why I needed two wetsuits, you're never going to understand. It's the difference between knowing about someone and knowing someone personally.
Posted by tbog on Sadly, No!
Thought that was worth copying over.
That poem made my day.
Now whenever I hear "safe word" I'm going to think "amen".
Beautiful cuttlefish!
Beautiful, Cuttlefish!
Two wetsuits will not, I repeat NOT, equal a dry suit in thermal protection. If Alrdridge thought it would, well, it makes you wonder about the diving curriculum at... no, wait a minute, I bet he thought that the extra buoyancy would allow him to perambulate about the surface of the water.
cuttlefish:
an anonymous piece of doggerel in a comment thread with *proper meter* ?! and here i was thinking scansion was dead.
my hat is off to you.
Is there a proper way to cite that poem? Because I'm sending it to all my friends.
Yeah, but you can't pee in your drysuit. Good times.
(Actually, you never know--there's probably some Christian Republican out there right now, doing just that...)
OK, Cuttlefish's poem was truly a work of art, but number 57, What Would Jacques Cousteau Do, made me spew coffee out my nose.
Reminds me of one of my favorite lines/scene from "Fight Club","...it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo."
"A little moderation in all things is a wise dictum."
Dictum? I hardly knew him!
(I can't believe I'm the first to say this.)
I'm a little confused about how if his hands and feet were tied he could have done this by himself. Seems to me if his hands and feet were tied behind his back, he might have trouble, say, inserting that dildo.
I don't know anything about the deceased Reverend other than what is reported here, and I am sure I would disagree with him about almost everything. But does this make him a hypocrite. Did he ever speak out against people with a rubber fetish or those who engage in autoerotic asphyxiation? Did he ever insist that only straight missionary position sex is allowed, therby implicitly criticizing all other ses practices? Maybe he did. But if all he did was criticize gays, that might make him reprehensible, but it dies not necessarily make him a hypocrite.
How does one bind oneself? Eleven straps?!! Was he rehearsing to be the next dad-gun Houdini? I'm assuming the neckties in question were for autoerotic asphyxiation; two seems a little excessive for that task, unless he was not into casual sex (badoom doom chick).....
I'm wondering if he had a playmate that panicked and left the scene after all - a little BDSM/Latex Love gone wrong, as it were. The condom sheathed dildo is also a little suspect for a solo effort.
I'm betting he had a friend with benefits who never meant to kill him and that doesn't mean it has to be another man. They have Dominatrice in Alabama don't they? (cue "Deliverance" soundtrack) Um, Don't they?
/Seems to me if his hands and feet were tied behind his back, he might have trouble, say, inserting that dildo./
Um, this is just conjecture, but I would assume that the dildo in question was inserterd before the wetsuit(s) and therefore before the binding. Whether he did it himself or someone helped is another matter.
/But if all he did was criticize gays, that might make him reprehensible, but it dies not necessarily make him a hypocrite./
Evangelicals decry the use of a dildo or buttplug by men as a form of sodomy whether they are heterosexual or not. Aldridge was an evangelical, he spoke out against homosexuality/sodomy, he used a dildo; therefore he was a hypocrite.
People like him do not 'simply' criticize gays, they also push hard for legislation that makes anything they do illegal and many things they do punishable by jail time. That doesn't even touch the harassment and bullying they do to individual gays whenever they happen to meet one. Not just a hypocrite, an evil hypocrite.
While I feel for poor shmuck--partly for his taste in kink--I can't help but wonder which level of Dante's Hell he's wandering around now. You know he's got to wear that get-up for all eternity, and two wet suits in hell has gotta get a bit warm. His punishment is to *explain* that outfit to everyone he meets...a task made more difficult by the mask...and whatever else was in his mouth.
"Yeah, but you can't pee in your drysuit. Good times."
Yes you can.
Greatest invention in the history of mankind I tells ya. Emphasis on mankind, sorry ladies it doesn't work as well for females.
"People like him do not 'simply' criticize gays, they also push hard for legislation that makes anything they do illegal and many things they do punishable by jail time. That doesn't even touch the harassment and bullying they do to individual gays whenever they happen to meet one."
I did not mean to diminish the actions of many self-proclaimed Christians toward gays. My point was simply that the post and comments all seem to asusme that this man was a hypocrite when nobody has pointed to anything he ever said or did that is hypocritical in this regard. Criticism or harassment or persecution or whatever you choose to call it of gays is not the point. He was not caught engaging in gay sex after condemning gays. He was caught indulging a fetish. Again, unless he criticized people with that fetish, or criticized all kinky sex play, the manner of his death does not seem to make him a hypocrite.
Unless he's the only Christian fundamentalist preacher to say that the religious right's insistence that the only correct sex is between a husband and wife is in error--which I haven't yet seen any indication that he is--he most certainly is a hypocrite in that he was practicing what he preached others shouldn't do.
They're pretty clear not only on what is the only appropriate sex act, but also on their right to dictate that standard to others. I don't see any ambiguity on the hypocrisy here. You're treating "gay" and "kink" as separate and independent categories, when for them the only categories are "right" (married vanilla) and "wrong" (anything else).
Ah, but we are talking about different things here. You're referring to just evacuating your bladder as needed, while I'm talking about thermoregulation using Nature's own insulating fluid.
Puget Sound averages 45F/7.5C year-round, while the human body is typically 98.6F/37C, so you see the advantage. It's like carrying around your own little tropical lagoon in your wetsuit, right up until it wears off.
ah, but technically, you still are not peeing IN the suit:
The urine goes through the tube, out the valve, and into the water.
we used to call our westsuits on long dives...
portable jacuzzis.
Don't ask where the bubbles come from.
ah, i see we were thinking exactly the same thing, tharlactos.
LOL
Well, there's always Depends. Probably what Sen Vitter uses when he's out diving.
... when I first started learning how to dive (I was around 15 at the time), my instructor used to drink a couple of cups of coffee before every dive.
It took me a while, but I finally asked him why he did that...
That might have been how I got hooked on coffee.
Dammit, I never tried the Jacuzzi!
Yeah, but you can't pee in your drysuit. Good times.
(Actually, you never know--there's probably some Christian Republican out there right now, doing just that...)
Fool, that's funny.
Randy-troll, are you going to tell us that a friend preacher of Jerry Falwell's thinks sex with enough rubber for three people, enough ties for 4 people and a condom covered dildo stuck up his ass is perfectly OK? With a little S&M thrown in. LOL. I would like to hear that sermon in a fundie death cult church in Alabama.
This guy is clearly a hypocrit but that is probably one of his minor defects. From the amount of equipment he had, he has obviously been doing this for a looonnnngggg time and who knows what else he is into. Do you think this was his first time? Of course not, it was his first time that he got caught because he made a mistake and killed himself.
PS Let me guess. You are a fundie cultist with some incredibly weird fetish that you think is perfectly OK because it isn't prohibited by the Old Testament. Whose authors undoubtedly never heard of it before because it was invented after the industrial revolution Something to do with aerosol shaving cream cans and barbie dolls perhaps, like a patient did who showed up in the ER?
Dammit, I never tried the Jacuzzi!
There's still time, yes?
Puget Sound must still have some great diving spots.
Thanks, uhhh, dumbass? (When in Rome...)
Yes, it does; alas, my abdominal wall musculature cannot say the same thing about its former (pre-surgical) integrity.
Later, if I can have it surgically well-enough repaired that I can be sure my intestines won't do an Aliens on ascent, I will definitely go back. But for now, living near Puget Sound and being unable to dive is kind of like Sisyphus writ small.
Later, if I can have it surgically well-enough repaired that I can be sure my intestines won't do an Aliens on ascent
here's hoping that's a solid prognosis. being a fish outta water is no damn fun.
Ah. That would be "Spartacass", then.
LOL, Kseniya!
Thanks for the good wishes, ichthyic: (raises fist and touches it to top of head).
thalartos,
you just need to use a couple of neckties to compress your abdomen, no?
Snort.. Suppose it could have been even sillier, the dildo could have been one of the ones sold by Zetatoys: http://www.zoofur.com/animalp.html lol
I find the concept fascinating, in the same way Gil Grissom did the fur suiters on that CSI episode, in which they managed to make furries all look like perverted wackos...
hee-hee--that, and five (5) belts and eleven (11) straps ought to do the trick!
Okay, I know it isn't nice to talk poorly about the poor guy - he was definitely dealing with some issues.
I've been browsing around the 'net to see how his flock are dealing with things. A self-identified fundamentalist forum started out with shock at the pastor's apparent "murder", but the shock only deepens as they find out the truth and start calling each other names.
At the pastor's church website, a new interim pastor is introduced. At the bottom of the website page is an advertisement for men's bible study, titled "Hazards of being a Man" and another ad for a men's retreat titled "called out - 1 Peter".
I've been punished for my evil laughing snort - Diet Coke through the nose!
The Devil made him do it.
calladus -
after checking that forum, I note that the last post is from:
Sly Fox
Master of Fundamentalism
who notes that the person who tried (not so subtly) to call attention to how Double-Trouble actually died was banned from the forum.
I was so tempted to login and simply post the link to this thread. Still trying to figure out what stopped me pulling the trigger there.
It's just sad, that's all. The poor guy, whatever his faults, certainly didn't deserve to die.
It's your handwringing denial of the inevitability of death that is sad. Would you prefer that he died of some horrid disease after suffering for months or years, rather than while trying to obtain a super orgasm? Not only did he go out with a minimum of suffering on his own part, but the early departure of a dean of Liberty College is generally a boon to humanity. Rather than sad, I'm happy for him and for us. I get sad when I lose someone I care about, but being sad merely at the passing of some random human being with whom one has no connection is pathological.
He was caught indulging a fetish. Again, unless he criticized people with that fetish, or criticized all kinky sex play, the manner of his death does not seem to make him a hypocrite.
He was a conservative pastor with a dildo in his ass in a state where it's illegal to buy dildos. If he doesn't seem to be a hypocrite to you, then you're an idiot.
ROTFL!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
"Slippery Stuff" lube was invented by a guy who wanted to get into/out of his wetsuit more easily.
Pervy divers :)
"He was a conservative pastor with a dildo in his ass in a state where it's illegal to buy dildos. If he doesn't seem to be a hypocrite to you, then you're an idiot."
Gee, I seem to have stumbled onto the mirror image of Free Republic by mistake. So sorry. I thought this might be a place where things could actually be discussed intelligently. Clearly, I was mistaken.
PZ, I just checked and you don't seem to have up a post about this much more damning news article concerning the ethics of the evangelicals. This Liberty U. guy is merely pathetic and rediculous whereas Roberts is seriously f__king his donors and the political process.
It is too typical of the religious right to pull people down on sins of the flesh when the real damage is done to the republic right out in the open and bothers them not at all.
We who chastise their deluded narrowness should not follow them in making much of sexual tastes.
Clearly, I was mistaken.
your take was not ignored, but merely criticized.
good luck with that thin skin of yours, if you ever plan on defending your own ideas*.
*suggest LOTS of sunblock
Still trying to figure out what stopped me pulling the trigger there.
actually, I went back (target was just too tempting), tried to register but was unable to - no email response from the registration server.
I must not have entered the secret code words under my "faith statement" correctly.
I tried: Post hoc, ergo propter hoc , but i guess they didn't like that.
"So sorry. I thought this might be a place where things could actually be discussed intelligently. Clearly, I was mistaken."
Well, whatever you do, don't read comment #80 by Jsn. Or comment #85 by thalarctos. You know, if you want to stay on your high horse, that is.
PZ, I just checked and you don't seem to have up a post about this much more damning news article concerning the ethics of the evangelicals. This Liberty U. guy is merely pathetic and rediculous whereas Roberts is seriously f__king his donors and the political process.
hmm, IIRC, PZ did have a post up about this, but it was before the 8th, so has scrolled off the "recent post" list.
ah, here ya go:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/10/scratch_a_rich_christian_wat…
Regarding machine gun nests in closets: In the late 70s and early 80s I belonged to a group called Integrity. It was an advocacy group for gay and lesbian Episcopalians. We were in Chicago. There were a large number of very closeted, very high church gay priests in the diocese. They had a group that got together once a month for cocktails and Eucharist. One of the priests in Integrity asked to speak to the group. After distancing themselves from the gay priest--he's gay but we're not, they invited him to speak. His message was simple: Integrity would not out any of them if they ignored the gay issue, but any of them that used their closet as a sniper's nestto publicly condemned and marginalized gay people, they were fair game. That sort of hypocrisy has pretty much disappeared in the diocese.
Also, the condom on the dildo would make sense if another person was using the same dildo. Or he could have been a neat freak.
And then there was that pastor in "Picket Fences" with a shoe fetish. Fiction, based on reality.
Gee, I seem to have stumbled onto the mirror image of Free Republic by mistake. So sorry. I thought this might be a place where things could actually be discussed intelligently. Clearly, I was mistaken.
My comment was intelligent, and honest -- far more than yours.
I think the slippers are a nice touch. Are we thinking pink fluffy mules, or plaid grandad slippers?
ROTFL!!! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
Calladus wrote @ #103:
"I've been browsing around the 'net to see how his flock are dealing with things. A self-identified fundamentalist forum started out with shock at the pastor's apparent "murder", but the shock only deepens as they find out the truth and start calling each other names."
Guess what is right at the top of their web page?
Believe it or not, a link to an advertisment for "Christian Clothing and Christian apparel".
Oh, the irony!
Azkyroth: "Bloody hell, are there any prominent (homo/sexo)phobes who AREN'T just building a machinegun nest in the back of the closet?"- i was slapping myself reading this one. Seriously funny, to bad it only applies to Red gay guys.
dr patricia farrell palos heights