The descent of man
Category: Weirdness
Posted on: October 29, 2007 3:34 PM, by PZ Myers
Objects of strange affections: Sex doll → mannequin → bicycle → pavement.
No word on how many of them vote Republican.
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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Comments
Hey, now--having sex with a bicycle is not weird, if you really love your bicycle. I've got this steel-frame Kona...
Posted by: DocAmazing! | October 29, 2007 3:38 PM
PZ wrote: "No word on how many of them vote Republican."
Wait - do you mean the sex dolls and mannequins, or the people using them? :)
Posted by: gg | October 29, 2007 3:39 PM
Why again is it illegal to masturbate using a bicycle? Weird, yes, but worthy of labelling the guy a sex offender?
Cleaning staff walk in on people all the time doing weird things. Ask anyone who has had that job. Normally they say "oops" and quickly shut the door.
Posted by: rob | October 29, 2007 4:23 PM
So you're saying you're bikesexual?
Posted by: Warren | October 29, 2007 4:25 PM
Matt the Viceroy in the Pandagon comments section nails it (pardon the pun):
Hmmm. . . .
Go home, grab the hand lotion, lock the bedroom door, take the phone off the hook-
Nah, too much work. I'll just fuck this pothole.
Posted by: Phoenix Woman | October 29, 2007 4:25 PM
Okay, I can sort of visualize a man "riding" a bicycle. How in the name of an undead Jewish carpenter does someone have sex with pavement? It seems slightly easier to have sex with jealousy.
I assume, though, the defense claimed the pavement was totally asking for it.
Posted by: Master Mahan | October 29, 2007 4:26 PM
A bicycle??
As a very avid cyclist myself, all I gotta say is: Ouch.
Posted by: MikeM | October 29, 2007 4:43 PM
By the way, this is completely off-topic, but I am very, very happy about the Genarlow Wilson ruling.
Mixed feelings, actually... ONLY 4-3 that it was "cruel and unusual"? Good grief, let's talk to the 3 who think it wasn't. Great snort.
And I hope 2 years in jail for a crimeless-crime hasn't ruined Genarlow Wilson. It may have. If anyone out there is in a position to support the rehab 2 years in prison will almost guarantee he needs, please do so.
I hope it's not as hard for him to get into a university as I think it will now. He's clearly university material.
Again, I apologize, I just didn't know where else to say this.
Posted by: MikeM | October 29, 2007 4:51 PM
Long, long ago -- possibly back when I was taking an abnormal psych class -- I read a statistic somewhere that was essentially this: for every item in the Sears catalog (back when there was a Sears catalog, and it was a big deal!), someone, somewhere, wants to sleep with it. Bizarre in and of itself (does that include the index?), but I suppose if I had to think about it, then I could vaguely see why someone might have an attraction to, say, a Barbie doll, but jebus, a weed whacker...?!?
Posted by: dinogami | October 29, 2007 5:11 PM
"Okay, I can sort of visualize a man "riding" a bicycle. How in the name of an undead Jewish carpenter does someone have sex with pavement?"
You look for a "man hole"
Posted by: sailor | October 29, 2007 5:16 PM
Isn't the guy who can have sex with pavement one of the new characters on "Heroes"?
Posted by: Greg Peterson | October 29, 2007 5:29 PM
Is his name Jack Hammer?
Posted by: Kseniya | October 29, 2007 5:34 PM
Is his name Jack Hammer?
Kseniya, you forgot to add one of these after that doozy.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | October 29, 2007 6:20 PM
At least they're not breeding...
Posted by: Liz in Australia | October 29, 2007 6:28 PM
C'mon the guy with the inflatable doll was from Cedar Rapids! No Iowan would be surprised, those city folks have strange ways.
Posted by: fardels bear | October 29, 2007 6:29 PM
I'm now prepared to call partial BS on the bicycle story.
The only source I can find is from Anorak, "Keeping tabs on the tabloids." Searched in Google News.
Sorry, but if it's only in a publication that keeps an eye on the tabloids, my BS meter is fairly active.
Posted by: MikeM | October 29, 2007 7:17 PM
While researching a talk to go along with A Clockwork Orange, I looked through the counterconditioning literature of the time. (Contrary to popular view, aversive conditioning was not the norm for sexual deviants; it was not terribly effective. Rather, therapists tried mostly to condition the men--it seemed that it was always men--to be sexually attracted to appropriate stimuli...like, say, their wives.) One has to read between the lines in order to see what any given person's paraphillia was, but my favorite involved a man who had been arrested and sent to treatment because he had...contaminated...a baby buggy. Or stroller, or whatever the current term is.
For treatement, the man was told to masturbate to a stroller, up to the "point of no return", then to finish off to a picture of his wife.
(disclaimer--I may be conflating 2 cases; I don't believe so, but it has been a few years.)
Posted by: Anon | October 29, 2007 11:38 PM
whatever the current term is
"pram" works.
Posted by: truth machine | October 30, 2007 2:00 AM
I still don't see why sex with Stephen Malkmus would be a jailable offense.
Posted by: Rey Fox | October 30, 2007 2:53 AM
Fucking cyclepaths.
Posted by: MartinC | October 30, 2007 6:58 AM
As Wayne and Garth might say: "Schwinnnn!"
Posted by: Kseniya | October 30, 2007 1:26 PM
Kseniya, you wouldn't be somehow related to Henny Youngman, would you?
Posted by: Brownian, OM | October 30, 2007 2:37 PM
Only through our mutual connection to borshch.
Posted by: Ксения Николаевна Кириленко | October 30, 2007 3:57 PM
Agree 100%, MikeM.
Posted by: thalarctos | October 30, 2007 4:07 PM
OT (continued): Check out one of the comments on the CNN page about Wilson's release:
Are these people born without brains? Or do their redneck Klansmen families beat them permanently senseless?
Posted by: Kseniya | October 30, 2007 4:38 PM
*
getting back to actual science... how about running these numbers?
*
Posted by: neo | October 31, 2007 12:50 PM
Sex dolls: Republican
Mannequins: Libertarian
Bicycles: Green
Pavements: Democratic
The first explains Bush's ~24% core support.
Mannequins tend to be employed in commerce, hardly a surprise to find a Libertarian orientation there.
No need to explain the Bicycle-Green relationship.
Pavements, of course, as part of the public-works infrastructure, have long been part of Democratic politics -- to the extent that anyone seeking to fill a hole in pavement might attain swifter satisfaction by approaching his alderman as an intermediary rather than the public works department directly.
Posted by: Pyre | November 2, 2007 9:28 PM