…and this is a 
Why is San Diego on fire?
Category: Kooks
Posted on: October 24, 2007 3:51 PM, by PZ Myers
I would have guessed because it's very dry and windy, but James Hartline has a less obvious answer.
They shook their fists at God and said, "We don't care what the Bible says, We want the California school children indoctrinated into homosexuality!" And then Governor Schwarzenegger signed into law the heinous SB777 which bans the use of "mom" and "dad" in the text books and promotes homosexuality to all school children in California.
And then the wildfires of Southern California engulfed the land like a raging judgment against the radicalized anti-christian California rebels.
Doesn't God have a baseball team to manage? It would be a better use of his time than these silly destructive temper tantrums.
Comments
CNN's Glenn Beck had some similar comments. Funnily enough, it appears that the area undergoing the worst of the fires is mostly Republican.
Posted by: Sivi Volk | October 24, 2007 3:53 PM
Well, if you've been watching the news lately, you should know that all Republicans are gay.
Posted by: PZ Myers | October 24, 2007 3:55 PM
And being omniscient like he is, he's been burning California on a regular basis for hundreds of years knowing that Californians would eventually support "teh gay agenda".
Posted by: No One of Consequence | October 24, 2007 3:56 PM
Of course, God could have sent a clear message by burning San Francisco down, but that would have been too obvious: instead, he decides to fulminate Orange County -- ostensibly the most Republican part of the state. Yep, Old Testament Jehovah is still one capricious, mean-spirited, hard-to-read prick.
Posted by: j.t.delaney | October 24, 2007 4:00 PM
ah, I was wondering which evangelical would step up to the plate and claim the fires as his own.
congratulations, James, on following in the stinking footsteps of Falwell.
I predict much monetary success.
And then Governor Schwarzenegger signed into law the heinous SB777 which bans the use of "mom" and "dad" in the text books and promotes homosexuality to all school children in California.
funny thing, but Schwarzenegger pushed for the no-gay-marriage amendment to the State constitution.
go figure.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 4:01 PM
Oh are you fucking KIDDING me? That's it. I'm moving to...somewhere
Posted by: Josh | October 24, 2007 4:04 PM
The fires are exactly in line with the predictions of climate scientists that global warming would lead to reduced rainfall in California resulting in a greater risk of fire and more severe fires.
Proof that global warming is god's Will.
Posted by: Ian Gould | October 24, 2007 4:05 PM
I had to go back and try to find Pat Robertson's predictions for 2007, and found this.
So I wonder if Pat will consider himself vindicated now; another of his amazingly accurate predictions comes true again. In his twisted mind, that is.
Posted by: MikeM | October 24, 2007 4:06 PM
What do they say when tornados strike the heartland? Or how about the Mississippi River floods of 1993? Who was Gad punishing then?
Posted by: Rey Fox | October 24, 2007 4:20 PM
I hate to say it but when the fires kicked off I was wondering how long it would take for some wacko to claim it was the wraith of God.
So, any bets on how long it takes Fred Phelps to chirp up on this one?
Oh wait, too late.
Posted by: Todd | October 24, 2007 4:23 PM
Nah. IIRC, San Diego is where Jason G*str*ch is located. God is pissed at him for being such a Wanker For Jeezuz that he decided to burn the whole place down.
Posted by: Eamon Knight | October 24, 2007 4:24 PM
Everyone knows that California is a den of iniquity and must be destroyed. That in mind, we can only imagine what GOD is planning for Las Vegas. What is HE waiting for? Vegas is a small target, something GOD could take care of with one bolt of lightning, as it were. If it doesn't happen in the next couple of months, I'm going to be looking for a more powerful GOD.
And, if Boston wins the series...well, I'm going to be seriously questioning the Rockie's GOD!!! How could the Rockies possibly lose with GOD on their side. If they do lose, I"m going to demand an explanation from everyone of those MORONs who thinks God prefers them over the other guys, some of whom stupidly think their god is blessing their efforts.
And if the Rockies win, we can assume that GOD is on their side and they will win every year for the next....well, at least until Jesus comes down and personally hands over management of the team to his designated successor, or HE decides baseball is no longer HIS chosen sport.
Fantasmagorical Fuckwittery run amok.
Posted by: Duff | October 24, 2007 4:25 PM
Don't forget a hundred years of fire suppression, and there are many invasive grasses that are speeding up the fire cycle. If it's god's wrath, why is San Diego burning and not San Francisco? Two of the counties that are burning are San Diego and Riverside, and they are pretty conservative. It's the more conservative areas of Los Angeles county that are burning as well. Seems to me, California burns every year. Why is God such a jerk?
Posted by: Thoracantha | October 24, 2007 4:28 PM
I swear some people seem to view the entire cosmos as a giant narrative of secret signs and displays all having to do with them. This one is nasty, but it's no more or less stupid than the "I prayed and God answered me with a beautiful sunset" crap.
We are, of course, the main character in "the story of our life" as viewed from inside our own heads. But too many people don't seem to realize that what goes on inside our own heads stays in our own heads, and in the grand scheme of things we're not really first person omniscient. That God would allow a fire in order to send a message which only a few brave and clever souls can decipher is story-telling run amok.
Posted by: Sastra | October 24, 2007 4:28 PM
It was a matter of when not if. These idiots are so predictable.
It doesn't count for much until the wingnut death cult leaders get into the act. Fortunately, Falwell and Kennedy have been recalled to hell, while Craig, Richard Robertson, and Haggard have "issues". Leaves Robertson, Dobson, and a few trolls to pick up the slack.
Maybe the DI can branch out from biological pseudoscience to climate and wildfire pseudoscience.
Posted by: raven | October 24, 2007 4:29 PM
Robertston:
"I have a relatively good track record," he said. "Sometimes I miss."
WTF? I thought Pat's predictions came right from the orifice of the holy thunderer hisself? How can he miss?
Posted by: bybelknap, FCD | October 24, 2007 4:30 PM
Sounds like San Diego has a compelling suit to bring against God, through his proxy, the nearest handy church ...
Posted by: Brian Coughlan | October 24, 2007 4:34 PM
Rey Fox,
I believe that operation rescue blamed the floods of 1993 on the evils of abortion.
Brian
Posted by: Brian | October 24, 2007 4:41 PM
It was God? Damn, I thought it was because they built in chaparral, an ecosystem that it generally recognized as needing periodic fires to renew itself...
In other words, it was intelligently designed to burn, baby, burn... :) Don't need any of "teh gays" to get it going. Just God's divine plan to periodically turn Southern California into a raging inferno...
Posted by: Moses | October 24, 2007 4:44 PM
Gosh as horrible as this sounds, I wish we'd get some of those fires here in Florida. Lets face it, we ( firefighters) look at those fires and say "dayyyum! we want get in on that!"Typical reaction I am sure.
So, with the gay pride parades here in Orlando, maybe it'll happen sometime soon? Or do we need a state bill banning mom and dad?
Posted by: firemancarl | October 24, 2007 4:45 PM
Fred Phelps has spoken:
"Blame the homosexuals".
No jury would hang.
(Okay, technically, "homosexuals" has 5 syllables, but I admit it looks like four. This may be 5-6-5 or 5-7-5, depending on your POV. And sorry about the punctuation; I'm just warming up to this form.)
Posted by: MikeM | October 24, 2007 4:45 PM
Whew. That makes pornography officially okay. They've been making it around there for decades and no judgement fires.
Posted by: pough | October 24, 2007 4:45 PM
So by his warped logic, what about the severe drought in the Bible Belt South? Maybe it's punishment for CNN hiring G Beck.
Posted by: jeh | October 24, 2007 4:49 PM
[wonders why churches also burn]
"Homosexuals" has four syllables if you pronounce it "homa-sekshuhls".
Ichthyic, I believe The Governator pushed for enforcing California law prohibiting gay marriage, yes, but only because he was pledged to uphold the law, not because he was anti-gay-marriage. I admit that I may have missed more recent news regarding a marriage amendment, though...
Posted by: Kseniya | October 24, 2007 4:52 PM
James Hartline Watch
http://www.hillquest.com/community/jhartline.htm
"This Hillcrest resident and former gay man has personally spearheaded many anti-gay and other moralistic crusades in the last few years."
Self-loathing ain't pretty.
Posted by: BJN | October 24, 2007 4:54 PM
'course the fires hit the wrong part of California on the basis of that argument... better: all the fires that burned this area well before there were any (or many) people there to be impacted was practice for today?
Posted by: George | October 24, 2007 4:56 PM
I'm sorry, I know it gets a little old accusing the religious wack jobs of telling lies, but if you go here
http://info.sen.ca.gov/pub/07-08/bill/sen/sb_0751-0800/sb_777_bill_20071012_chaptered.html
you will see the text of bill SB777. Do a text search for the words "Mom" or "Dad". They do not appear anywhere in the bill. The bill does NOT ban the use of the terms "Mom" or "Dad".
Do they have no shame? What part of "Do not bare false witness" do the religious right not understand.
Posted by: GregB | October 24, 2007 4:57 PM
Oh! maybe that's why the place is burning. It ain't teh homosexers the The Almighty is pissed about. It's the LIARS!!!
Posted by: bybelknap, FCD | October 24, 2007 5:00 PM
I wonder when is an asteroid going to destroy the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Spain and Canada.
Posted by: Guido | October 24, 2007 5:02 PM
Now I am confused. Fox news gasbags are saying that it is al Quaeda causing the fires, now it's god's vengence. By Saturday it will be Hillary's fault.
Posted by: Bert Chadick | October 24, 2007 5:06 PM
Military bases are threatened too.
Why does God hate the USAF? Could it be DADT?
Or is God perhaps Allah after all?
Posted by: Warren | October 24, 2007 5:06 PM
@#30
Don't you mean Barak Osama^H^H^H^H^H Obama's fault?
Posted by: G | October 24, 2007 5:10 PM
Christianists, notably the "Campaign for Children and Families" (CCF), are up in arms here about SB777, which changes the Penal Code to add homosexuality as a protected class in the hate crime statutes and changes the Education Code to prohibit discrimination against homosexual and transgender people: "No teacher shall give instruction nor shall a school district sponsor activity that promotes a discriminatory bias because of a characteristic listed in Section 220."
The CCF argues the bill "delete[s] the true definition of sex and gender, which is 'the biological condition or quality o[f] being a male or female human being,'" and "requires all instruction and activities (textbooks, instructional materials, classroom instruction, school activities, etc.) to positively portray sex changes, cross-dressing, homosexual marriages, and all aspects of bisexuality and homosexuality." www.savecalifornia.com
Schwarzenegger said on Leno that he personally has no problem with gay marriage. He has also repeatedly said that the matter is one for the people to decide, not him.
Posted by: Adam | October 24, 2007 5:16 PM
If there was such a thing as God, and if he had an interest in lighting things on fire then, at this very moment, Glenn Beck would be running though the streets screaming as his flesh and hair reduced to ash. And I'm not to proud to admit that I'd just laugh at him, and maybe put the video on Youtube.
Posted by: Dustin | October 24, 2007 5:20 PM
News flash states that at least one of the fires might be an arsonist. No mention of who or why.
Posted by: raven | October 24, 2007 5:21 PM
Clearly, then, this fire is of divine origin. Jesus was rollin', SoCal style, got too baked, dropped his pipe and FOOMPH.
Posted by: Dustin | October 24, 2007 5:26 PM
"When you work from a faulty model of the system under study, you get right answers only by accident."
Posted by: Hank Fox | October 24, 2007 5:30 PM
Yep, Schwarzenegger would fit much better into Austria's conservative party than he does into the GOP. Like the former (and the conservative candidate for US president of 2004 -- Kerry), he seems to have no problem whatsoever with gay marriage as long as it isn't called marriage.
Well.
A year ago, I copied the following conversation into my quotation archive:
And then there's this observation:
-- ajay, http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2006/06/its_a_bible_belt_story_but_don.php
I'm just saying.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | October 24, 2007 5:33 PM
Todd, the Phelps link doesn't seem to work.
Posted by: Elf Eye | October 24, 2007 5:34 PM
Fox news gasbags are saying that it is al Quaeda causing the fires
holy crap!
really?
this i gotta see.
linkage?
I wanna add that vid clip to my Fox News = oxymoron collection.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 5:41 PM
There people need to read their Bible. It never condemns homosexuality as a whole, but just men lying with other men. Lesbians are still good. God likey the girl-on-girl.
Posted by: Brian W. | October 24, 2007 5:41 PM
God will never incinerate Vegas, it's one of the safest places on the planet as far as the biblegod goes.
God needs tons of money, you see; the preachers everywhere squawk about it constantly. The way I see it, Vegas is a money machine, so why destroy it if you're as bad with finances as the xtian sky daddy seems to be?
Then again, maybe god needs all that money because he likes Pai-Gow poker and playing the ponies. Either way, Vegas is safe.
Posted by: dwarf zebu | October 24, 2007 5:43 PM
Oh yeah... the Socialist Kingdom of Spain...
Oops -- I had clicked "Post" before reading comment 33. My bad.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | October 24, 2007 5:43 PM
... I'll be damned, it's fucking correct!
http://politics.propeller.com/story/2007/10/24/fox-news-al-qaeda-is-causing-the-ca-wildires
just... wow.
that's even "better" than the psycho evangelites claiming it's god's vengeance on homos.
still looking for the actual vidclip, if anyone finds it.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 5:44 PM
I'm looking out my window and seeing Mount Palomar engulfed in smoke.
God is after the scientists. And now PZ is coming to San Diego. What can we expect next week?
Posted by: June | October 24, 2007 5:47 PM
ah, nvmd, found it:
http://thinkprogress.org/2007/10/24/fox-news-al-qaeda-is-causing-the-ca-wildires/
amazing.
I rather tend to agree with one of the commenters:
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 5:51 PM
Then again, maybe god needs all that money because he likes Pai-Gow poker and playing the ponies. Either way, Vegas is safe.
I thought god was a skee-ball fan?
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 5:53 PM
#31: Of course God hates the USAF. They get to mess about in the sky, and occasionally vaporize cities that look at them funny. And that's God's turf. What's worse, he can't really do anything overt about it, because the Air Force can find him where he lives...
Posted by: Phy | October 24, 2007 5:59 PM
Actually, there is an INVERSE correlation between % deaths by natural disasters and gay rights. The more pro gay countries have less deaths by natural disaster.
So, God must be pro gay, or he is putting a trap or something.
Posted by: negentropyeater | October 24, 2007 6:04 PM
Ah, there's nothing quite so Christian as crowing at other's misfortunes.
Let's confiscate the rose-colored burning crucifix for our own purposes a bit, shall we? The San Diego fires are hitting far more conservative areas, when there are far riper targets just sitting on fault lines and begging for a righteous smiting. Louisiana got hammered, but then Bush won solidly there in 2004. God could have gotten far more Democrats by just aiming for Florida. You'd think if God really hates gays that much, he could do a far better job slaughtering them.
Instead, God seems fairly focused on pretending that disasters happen completely without any guiding intelligence. His followers show no more signs of divine protection than anyone else.
The real reason for the existence of evil is clear. The Lord is punishing of all of humanity because Fox canceled Arrested Development. It was set in California and featured multiple scenes of house destruction and an omniscient narrator. It all fits!
Oh, and on serious note? Suggesting God is using murder to make his political opinions known seems pretty damn sacrilegious.
Posted by: Master Mahan | October 24, 2007 6:20 PM
>> I thought god was a skee-ball fan?
8^D
I love it!
Posted by: Kseniya | October 24, 2007 6:24 PM
God must have really crappy aim - the FCs also figured that AIDS was God killing gay people, which if true would imply that God also likes lots of collateral damage.
Since a few Republicans seem to have Bush confused with God, maybe that's the real explanation - since Bush likes fighting wars with little tactical gain but lots of collateral damage, and Bush = God, then any event that causes lots of collateral damage must be God's will, because that's obviously the way GodXXXBush fights wars. Maybe some of the Fox viewers failed a logic class, or something.
Posted by: Hap | October 24, 2007 6:24 PM
"Some"?
Posted by: Kseniya | October 24, 2007 6:29 PM
It was only a matter of time; It's the fault of environmentalists...
http://thinkprogress.org/2007/10/24/beck-wildfires/
Posted by: MikeM | October 24, 2007 6:51 PM
[I]f I hear global warming one more time, blood is going to shoot out of my eyes."
oooh.
is that a challenge?
is he saying he's a horned-toad lizard (uh, for thems that duzn't know, they actually do shoot blood out of their eyes as a defense mechanism)?
either way, I'm up for seeing blood shoot out of his eyes.
How do we get a hold of Glen to make that happen?
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 6:54 PM
P = 0
Where P is the probability of Fox viewers even taking a logic class.
Posted by: Jimi | October 24, 2007 6:57 PM
It was only a matter of time; It's the fault of environmentalists...
ah, that will somehow end up being the link to Clinton.
something along the lines of:
"all these hippie-leftist environmental wackos that all wanna vote for Hillary."
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 6:57 PM
The hype box behind Glenn "I should be blood eagled" Beck really says "Who's to Blame?"
I had hoped the Katrina reactions were a fluke, but it's evident that we have a long, dark future filled with people trying to find purpose behind natural disasters. Tornado? It was the brothel. Earthquake? It was a senator's sex scandal. Hurricane? We're the new Sodom. Volcano? We didn't sacrifice enough virgins.
This is actually very depressing.
Posted by: Dustin | October 24, 2007 6:58 PM
BECK: Look, here's the thing. We're going to talk about things that are politically incorrect. Nobody else on television is going to say this. And I know all the bloggers are right now going, "Oh, big oil, big oil, big oil. They're going to deny global warming.
riiiigggghhhhtttt.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 7:01 PM
If it's god's wrath, why is San Diego burning and not San Francisco?
God has a habit of taking his anger at homosexuals out on righteous Americans.
In San Diego, most of the gays live in the Mission-Hills/Hillcrest/North-Park area, which has been completely untouched by the fires. But most of the homes that have burned are in solidly Republican areas (i.e. Randy Duke-Cunningham's pre-prison congressional district).
Similarly, the French Quarter (home of most of your Louisiana gays) came through Katrina unscathed. But Katrina destroyed over a thousand churches in Mississippi.
God just keeps taking his anger/hatred of gays out on his most loyal followers. And maybe that's why the religious wingnuts hate gays so much.
Posted by: caerbannog | October 24, 2007 7:10 PM
Re #40, Let me guess, that would be the Iranian faction of the AlQueda, right? Maybe we have already used up all the extractable oil in Iraq and are going to need a new fix.
Posted by: Fernando Magyar | October 24, 2007 7:37 PM
Wow wildfires in Southern California, what his next act going to be, floods in the South-east? Thunderstorms in Arizona? Tornadoes in Tornado alley? Idiots in the Whitehouse? I mean if your going to ascribe purpose to common events. Indeed fires like this are so common my family didn't even mention it to me as it didn't get particularly close to them.
Side note: I think its equally silly to say this is proof of global warming, while I don't deny there is ample evidence for climate change these wildfires are fairly common in Southern-California and to the best of my knowledge really aren't getting any worse.
Posted by: Troy | October 24, 2007 7:56 PM
Side note: I think its equally silly to say this is proof of global warming, while I don't deny there is ample evidence for climate change these wildfires are fairly common in Southern-California and to the best of my knowledge really aren't getting any worse.
oh yes they are.
take a look at the history of wildfires in CA for the last 30 years, and tell me you don't see an increase in size and frequency.
that you haven't taken the time to look, doesn't mean there is no evidence.
when you're done looking at the stats themselves, try searching on "bark beetles california" and see what you turn up there.
after that, search on "rainfall predictions based on climate change california"
at least do that much before you dismiss it out of hand.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 8:03 PM
I think the Sky Bully's message with Katrina and these wild fires is perfectly clear: "You stupid apes shouldn't have let a high functioning retard start a pointless war and move all your National Guard units away from the areas they're needed. Morons."
Posted by: Ego, Egoing, Egone | October 24, 2007 8:04 PM
... not saying it's "proof" mind you (proof is no longer necessary, for that matter), only that the data is consistent with what was predicted from the climate change models.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 8:04 PM
Seems to me that having the driest year on record in So Cal is a good indication that climate change MAY be related to the recent fires. Certainly the winds and dry weather have made these fires more destructive than past fires, and with a million people evacuated we have a disaster of the same scope as Katrina.
Of course the people of Cal are to blame in part, but not for incurring the wrath of some god, but in their imposition on the natural fire cycle in Cal.
Now, as for god smiting So Cal, I suppose if he in his divine will decided to smite Cal, he was actually aiming for San Fran and the northern part of the state. It doesn't make a lot of sense to smite the right wing faithful of Orange county and San Diego and leave the sinful North to thier evil ways! The whole thing reminds me of the old joke:
A man went golfing with a preacher, and on the first hole he missed his putt and swore "God damn, I missed!" The preacher corrected him and told him that God would surely strike him dead for taking his name in vain.
On the second hole, the man again missed his putt and swore
"God damn, I missed" and the preacher once more admonished him and warned him of the wrath of God.
This went on until they were on the 18th hole, when the man again missed his putt, again swore "God damn, I missed!" Then a lightning bolt came from the sky and struck the preacher dead.
From the heavens above a deep voice intoned "Damn, I missed!"
Posted by: dorid | October 24, 2007 8:07 PM
Too late. I already heard someone chastising Hillary for not stopping her campaigning to help the people of San Diego when she was out there.
At first, I thought the guy telling me this nonsense was joking, but when I laughed, he really became quite pissed off. These people are nuts, and not nuts in the funny kind of way, but they strike me as inhuman and dangerous with no concept of reality.
Posted by: Dan | October 24, 2007 8:11 PM
Blood... Shooting... From... Eyes!!
Aarrgghh!
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/23/greenland.melting/index.html
Posted by: MikeM | October 24, 2007 8:13 PM
Too late.
*sigh*
of course.
parody can't travel at the speed of stupidity.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 8:14 PM
God is too busy giving the non-believers cancer and then scrambling around trying to answer all the prayers from the devout friends and relatives to make it magically go away. I really think he needs to consult with someone on time management and office efficency issues.
Posted by: Jazmin | October 24, 2007 8:20 PM
Chabad of Oceanside CA (northwest SD County) held a service to "pray for rain".
If their prayer got a rainstorm to develop I'd be out buying a yarmulke right about now. Hell, they should have asked for a blizzard - that's almost as likely as rain in California during October Santa Ana wind conditions.
Posted by: Jimbo | October 24, 2007 8:22 PM
And if she had stopped, he'd probably say it was a disingenuous outpouring of mock compassion that was ultimately more a show for the cameras than actual assistance.
Posted by: Dustin | October 24, 2007 8:23 PM
And if she had stopped, he'd probably say it was a disingenuous outpouring of mock compassion that was ultimately more a show for the cameras than actual assistance.
yup. sounds about right.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 8:26 PM
When the San Francisco earthquake of 1989 happened, lots of fundies said much the same thing. God's wrath, homosexuals, bla bla bla.
Except that the mostly straight, relatively conservative (for San Francisco, anyway) Marina neighborhood was by far the hardest hit in the city... and the Castro district, world famous for teh gay, was relatively unharmed.
What everyone else here has said. God has really crappy aim. If these fires were about teh gay, why San Diego and Orange County? I'd say that he doesn't like rich white Republicans, but that doesn't explain Katrina. I think he's just taking potshots, like some sniper gone berserk.
Oh, and BTW: Nurse Ingrid heard her first "someone up there was looking out for me" story of the fires. Some jackass who saw their house somehow bypassed amongst acres of devastation... and thought, "Gee, God/ the angels were so kind and thoughtful to spare me." And had the rabidly insensitive bad taste to say so on the radio. So your neighbors... they're chopped liver?
You should have been there. Ingrid's beautiful when she's angry.
Posted by: Greta Christina | October 24, 2007 8:27 PM
GOD is my arsonist.
Posted by: Caledonian | October 24, 2007 8:39 PM
So let us see if I can get their reasoning straight...
If you are a good Christian, God will test your faith by destroying your home. Or he might not.
If, on the other hand, you are naughty in his sight, he will punish you by destroying your home. Or he might not.
Sounds like a wonderful, loving God to me. Not at all arbitrary, vindictive and capricious.
Posted by: tonyk | October 24, 2007 8:43 PM
I think he's just taking potshots, like some sniper gone berserk.
You mean god was really Charles Whitman?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Whitman
Texas killed god.
figures.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 8:50 PM
I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss Al-Qaida causing fires (not in this particular case).
Having lived in Southern California all my life, the Santa Ana winds arrive every fall like clockwork. Many years of idiotic building practices (building right in the middle of brush-covered areas with little or no landscaped and irrigated area between the new houses and the brush) and a long stretch of idiotic forestry management practices (chaparral needs to burn every 10 years or so and not burning for 20-30 years leads to massive fuel build-ups) result in a literal powder-keg.
One guy and a few flares could do a massive amount of damage. This is exactly the type of attack Al-Qaida favors (cheap, easy to plan, little investment, and massive damage). If they haven't already figured it out, they probably will.
Until people in California change their building practices and forestry management techniques, we will continue to be vulnerable (random arsonists are a much bigger threat than Al-Qaida). Of course, with the money involved in building the way they do now (buying politicians), I have little hope for change... didn't change much after the Cedar fire four years ago.
Sigh.
Posted by: BlazingDragon | October 24, 2007 9:04 PM
I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss Al-Qaida causing fires (not in this particular case).
*yawn*
if you would just think for a sec, why on earth wouldn't they claim responsibility if they had ANYTHING to do with something like lighting fires?
it's an asinine premise.
a terrorist's strength comes from people KNOWING they are responsible for specific attacks, not some nebulous thing like a wildfire that may or may not cause any damage, depending on which way the wind blows.
our local pyscho arsonists are far more likely responsible than any foreign "terrorist", and most of the fires are considered to have started from natural causes anyway.
so yes, you can indeed very quickly dismiss the idea that foreign terrorists are involved.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 24, 2007 9:16 PM
This Hartline guy reminds me of someone. Oh yeah, now I remember:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28799
Posted by: Kevin | October 24, 2007 9:19 PM
Let's give god a break. The dude is ooooooooooooold. He has a really baaaaad case of presbyopia and even god can't make contact lenses big enough for god. So his aim is off. In the late 80s he caused an earthquake in San Francisco to punish teh gay. Unfortunately, he hit a predominantly straight neighborhood. He sent the tsunami a few years ago to punish Sweden for being immoral but all he could see was a few Swedish tourists in Indonesia. Now he's trying to burn liberals but gets the Repubes instead. He used to be omnipotent but now he's merely potent.
The Fixed News story about Al Qaeda being responsible for the fires is based on information squeezed out of an Al Qaeda member four years ago. All the fires were supposed to be set simultaneously. But the worst part of the memo was that it mentioned Colorado and other states but did not mention California at all.
Bush today mentioned several plots that were foiled because they were able to "coerce" information from prisoners. I need to see the evidence.
Posted by: wrpd | October 24, 2007 9:27 PM
I think the real question is why does god hate American gays and not other gays? For example, Sydney has the annual gay mardi gras, why doesn't Sydney get fires? Oh wait, it does. Never mind.
Posted by: Brian English | October 24, 2007 9:30 PM
Now, I was raised around horny toads, and even took a box of them to the '57 Scout Jamboree at Valley Forge to trade to ignorant yankees as baby dinosaurs. (there were kids there trying to trade cocklebur seed pods as porcupine eggs) I have heard that they squirt blood from their eyes (horny toads, not yankees), but after interacting with hundreds of the oddly attractive critters, and never saw them spit blood from anywhere. They are endangered now, so I wouldn't advise anyone experiment on the docile little reptiles.
Perhaps there is a breed of horny toads somewhere that shoots blood from its eye, but it doesn't sound like much of a survival strategy. To a predator blood is just gravy for their meat.
Posted by: Bert Chadick | October 24, 2007 9:42 PM
"Why is God such a jerk?"
He isn't a jerk, he's a terrorist!
Acts of God have killed far more Americans than acts of Bin Laden.
Furthermore, he's attempting to impose his will on America by force and override your Constitution.
The Bush administration needs to set up a multi-billion dollar anti-God defense initiative.
I'm sure it would be every bit as effective and sensible as their anti-missile initiative.
Posted by: Ian Gould | October 24, 2007 9:51 PM
Now see, that's exactly what I would have said about self-evisceration, but then the sea cucumbers came along to prove me wrong.
I have to admit, though, that shooting your guts out at a pursuing predator, and then regenerating them later at your convenience, is *cool*--wish I could do that!
I wouldn't want to actually *see* Glenn Beck shoot his intestines out his anus, though...maybe just hear about it later.
Posted by: thalarctos | October 24, 2007 9:54 PM
Wait, wouldn't that mean that other positions are okay?
Who doesn't?
Posted by: Anon. E. Mouse. | October 24, 2007 10:37 PM
but after interacting with hundreds of the oddly attractive critters, and never saw them spit blood from anywhere.
not all species exhibit the behavior, which may be why your local version didn't.
more than you wanted to know about horny toads (horned lizards):