…and this is a 
Looking for a tenure track job in biology?
Category: Academics
Posted on: November 27, 2007 4:58 PM, by PZ Myers
Hey, look here: we have an ad in The Chronicle of Higher Education:
Position: Tenure-Track Position in Biology
Institution: University of Minnesota at Morris
Location: Minnesota
Date posted: 11/19/2007Biology: The University of Minnesota, Morris seeks to fill a tenure-track position in vertebrate biology beginning August 18, 2008. Duties include: teaching undergraduate vertebrate systematics or natural history and sophomore level human physiology; curating and maintaining the discipline's vertebrate collection; contributing to the university's general education program; advising undergraduates; conducting research that could involve undergraduates; and sharing in service activities. Minimum qualifications: Ph.D. in zoology or a closely related field and two years experience teaching undergraduates (graduate TA experience acceptable). Send letter of application, resume, transcripts, teaching and research statements, and three letters of reference to: Biology Search Committee Chair, Division of Science and Math, University of Minnesota, Morris, Minnesota 56267-2128. Applications will be accepted until the position is filled. Screening begins January 7, 2008. The University of Minnesota is an equal opportunity educator and employer.
Comments
Think you guys could hold off on this until I finish my PhD? I'll be done in oh, about... three years or so.
Oh, wait. Its cold up there. I'd freeze to death.
Posted by: Prillotashekta | November 27, 2007 5:02 PM
I called and let my wife know. Not sure if she'd qualify, but I'm effing tired of the State we live in. And since you've got a Zebrafish lab, she could do her research, too.
Posted by: Moses | November 27, 2007 5:11 PM
Just keep in mind that the systematics/natural history part is important. This is a replacement position for a retiring faculty member who is a herpetologist, and a lab and field biologist.
Posted by: PZ Myers | November 27, 2007 5:14 PM
Egad, the pavlovian response I've developed is terrible. I saw the words 'tenure-track' and started simultaneously panicking over application deadlines and reaching for my browser bar to start checking the department website for stuff for the my cover letter.
And I'm a physicist, for FSM's sake!
Oh, how I want this job hunt to be done....
Posted by: Nathaniel | November 27, 2007 5:27 PM
Eh, I'd consider applying for it, but I better not. I hear there's this one professor in the department there who's a total maniac.
Posted by: Jake Boyman | November 27, 2007 5:31 PM
It makes me happy that your division name recognizes "math" as something separate from science. :)
Posted by: katie | November 27, 2007 5:32 PM
It sounds like a wonderful position. It makes me wish I completed my PhD and a postdoc already. The systematics/natural history part and the museum collection are particularly alluring. Oh well, my time will come. . . and hopefully in a warmer clime. :)
Good luck to the UM, Morris Bio Dept.
Posted by: Diego | November 27, 2007 5:36 PM
If I were you, I'd let David Horowitz know. Since he's always whinging on about left-wing bias in academia, you could invite him to find a right-wing vertebrate biologist to offset the evil liberalism that I'm sure permeates your institution.
Posted by: CC | November 27, 2007 5:41 PM
Too bad. A few years too early.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | November 27, 2007 5:46 PM
Slightly OT, I just got back from a face-to-face interview for a Cataloger position at Texas Woman's University in Denton, Texas. It's short of my dream-job for a first position--I swore I'd never accept a tech services gig where I was the only MLS-holding cataloger. And this is that, though to be fair the electronic resources librarian is in that department and holds and MLS and does cataloging of electronic resources, and the copy-catalogers have experience doing original and copy cataloging. The Library director is quite explicit they want someone to LEAD the Department, take fuller advantage of the ILS functionality, etc.
F*ck I hate being asked to step into the limelight like that.
I'd much rather join a larger team with a cadre of same-level co-workers reporting to a boss who is also primarily a cataloger. Yes, I'm insecure about the current status of my cataloging abilities, and yes, I know the only way to improve that is to jump in and do it, but I'd feel better to have experienced colleagues to help me pull myself up and bounce ideas off of.
My lack of total confidence and experience probably showed through a bit at the interview, so I'm not all that hopeful. Plus, Denton, TX is where I met my once and future crazed fundie ex-wife, and it's too damn closed to Dallas, which is a city I despise. The main thing I do like up there is the weather, as they actually have 4 discernible seasons there. That and there's lots of live music venues all the time, especially Jazz music.
BTW, if your Library has any openings, I'd love to apply.
Reference or Cataloging--whatever, really.
Posted by: JJR | November 27, 2007 5:57 PM
Paging Laelaps, paging soon to be Dr. Laelaps...
Eh... Too soon, I guess.
Too bad I don't do eukaryotes. (Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter!)
Posted by: MikeG | November 27, 2007 6:16 PM
the systematics/natural history part is important
Well yes, of course it is. But anybody taking this position would have to deal with those boring vertebrates.
Stiff price to pay, if you ask me.
Posted by: Mrs Tilton | November 27, 2007 6:24 PM
To be a herpetologist in Northern Minnesota must be...uneventful.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | November 27, 2007 6:30 PM
Oo, pick me! I stayed at a Holidy Inn Express last night.
Posted by: ~#^$ | November 27, 2007 7:00 PM
Plant ecologist is close enough, right? :)
Posted by: IanR | November 27, 2007 7:03 PM
Re #13,
Yeah, which is why they probably have to send you to all those far far away tropical locations to do your research and collecting ;-)
Posted by: Fernando Magyar | November 27, 2007 7:16 PM
"Duties include: ...conducting research that could involve undergraduates...".
Was I the only person to read that as "Duties include: ...conducting research ON undergraduates..." ? :-)
Posted by: Cory Albrecht | November 27, 2007 7:31 PM
I find this ad to be blatantly biased against the non-vertebrate studying community, and will be bringing about a lawsuit accordingly.
Posted by: Carlie | November 27, 2007 8:21 PM
To be a herpetologist in Northern Minnesota must be...uneventful.
Oh, dear. You'll offend the people in Northern Minnesota -- who aren't anywhere near Morris. If you head straight west and end up in South Dakota, you aren't in Northern Minnesota.
My son, soon to be a college student, on the other hand, won't consider Morris because it doesn't have enough people in it. Ann Arbor is the smallest town he'll consider.
Posted by: freelunch | November 27, 2007 8:41 PM
JJR - if you haven't been to Dallas in a while, you should know that it is changing. The political scene here is still pretty much controlled by the old Dallas families who have owned so much land, but we have a growing progressive component that has made it much more tolerable over the last ten years. And don't forget, we have no state income tax here. You can probably get a house relatively cheaply in Denton compared to Dallas.
Land just north of downtown has been donated for the construction of a new Natural History Museum. Dallas' zoo has a great bird collection, and the Fort Worth zoo is better than Dallas in everything except birds.
Posted by: Texas Reader | November 27, 2007 8:42 PM
JJR - if you haven't been to Dallas in a while, you should know that it is changing. The political scene here is still pretty much controlled by the old Dallas families who have owned so much land, but we have a growing progressive component that has made it much more tolerable over the last ten years. And don't forget, we have no state income tax here. You can probably get a house relatively cheaply in Denton compared to Dallas.
Land just north of downtown has been donated for the construction of a new Natural History Museum. Dallas' zoo has a great bird collection, and the Fort Worth zoo is better than Dallas in everything except birds.
Posted by: Texas Reader | November 27, 2007 8:49 PM
Posted by: Chris R. | November 27, 2007 11:42 PM
Is this the same position as the "vertebrate biologist" one that was advertised a few weeks ago? I would have applied, only I don't have a backbone.
*flops onto keyboard*
Posted by: Bob O'H | November 28, 2007 12:59 AM
I suppose it'd be worth applying, just to add another college to my "rejections" file. For a while there, I thought I had a reasonable chance of getting rejections from 10% of the colleges in the US, but I suppose that's an impossible goal, really.
(Besides, I'm really an invert guy, even though I'm also an avid birder. And I HATE teaching vert phys; all those poor frogs and turtles sacrificed to bored and squeamish kids who won't get the lesson anyway. Ugh.)
-JAH
Posted by: Josh Hayes | November 28, 2007 2:36 AM
DDR#10: Yes, off topic? And, don't you think it'd be better to not complain on a public blog about a possible job when you just got back from an interview with them?
Posted by: d | November 28, 2007 2:56 AM
Ah, but this position asks that you teach human phys to bored premeds. No frog and turtle sacrifices required.
Posted by: PZ Myers | November 28, 2007 8:00 AM
I'm confused. PZ, have you deleted stuff from the qualifications list? Surely only people of faith with a good grounding in Intelligent Design biology need apply?
Posted by: Martin R | November 28, 2007 8:55 AM
You learn something trivial every day.
Posted by: arensb | November 28, 2007 12:25 PM
A couple of years too early for me, and I'm mostly into Invertebrates at the moment, anyways. Still, it's nice to see that such things appear on the radar screen with some non-zero frequency.
I notice that no mention is made of advising GRADUATE students. Does UMM not have a graduate program in Biology? Is it possible to get a Master's or Ph.D. degree from UMM?
Posted by: TheBrummell | November 28, 2007 2:15 PM
Oh geez, this sounds perfect! Vertebrate biology and natural history, undergrad teaching, herpetology! How much curation experience are you guys looking for? And Minnesota... What's the likelihood that a west coast girl can survive a Minnesota winter?
Posted by: Heather | November 28, 2007 3:43 PM
We don't have a grad program, so you need to build an undergrad research program.
Curation experience: we have a small but important teaching collection that needs to be maintained. Apply, we'll be the judge of whether you have enough experience!
I'm a west coast boy married to a west coast girl, and we're surviving just fine.
Posted by: PZ Myers | November 28, 2007 3:48 PM