Pharyngula: Anyone got a spare $8million?

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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Anyone got a spare $8million?

Category: Weirdness
Posted on: December 21, 2007 1:15 AM, by PZ Myers

There's a cathedral for sale in Los Angeles. Makes a great squidmas present for any atheist.

Comments

Posted by: The Stone | December 21, 2007 1:29 AM

I've always wanted to busy an old Cathedral, and turn it into a museum, and replace the stained glass windows with those depicting great scientific discoveries. Too bad that lottery ticket hasn't shown up....yet.

Posted by: The Stone | December 21, 2007 1:31 AM

Busy? I meant "buy". Its late. Time for repose.

Posted by: autumn | December 21, 2007 1:45 AM

So it's a Church of Christ, Scientist building?
Buy the motherfucker and turn it into a transfusion/donation center, as well as having a blood bank.

Oh, also, orgies every Thursday.
That doesn't specifically address the Church of Christ, Scientist, I just think Thursday orgies are a good idea. You know, to kind of kick off the weekend.

Posted by: G | December 21, 2007 1:57 AM

I'm glad someone mentioned orgies so early in the game, I was afraid to think that us heathens were slipping.

Posted by: Brian X | December 21, 2007 2:08 AM

autumn:

I think you're conflating the JayDubs with the Christian Scientists. The Christian Scientists don't believe in medicine at all. Or, for that matter, reality. The person who buys it ought to turn it into a hospital.

Heck, 8 mil? Forget that. If nothing is real, according to Christian Science theology, they can hardly mind if a bunch of squatters move in and claim it for free. (And for what it's worth, the complex on Huntington Avenue in Boston is an awful lot of expensive and elegantly designed nothing...)

Posted by: Dustin | December 21, 2007 2:20 AM

That's a crappy deal. I'd have to spend at least another $8 million on disinfecting the place to get the Christian Science Essence of Evil out of the walls.

On the upside, though, I take this as another sign that Christian Science has got at least four of its many deformed appendages in the grave. That makes me smile.

Posted by: Mark (Monty) Montague | December 21, 2007 2:41 AM

Does it come with a Shining Trapezohedron? (as described in http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/thehaunterofthedark.htm )

Posted by: John C. Randolph | December 21, 2007 3:03 AM

I bet the acoustics in there would be amazing. It's probably worth $8M easily as a club.

-jcr

Posted by: Cairnarvon | December 21, 2007 4:34 AM

8 million looks like it's actually a fair price. And if you remove the "SECOND CHURCH OF CHRIST SCIENTIST" it would make a beautiful library.
Or maybe a Roman bath house.

#10

Posted by: brtkrbzhnv | December 21, 2007 4:46 AM

I bet that place would be absolutely awesome for some good old-fashioned cheesy 90s techno music, 666 in particular.

#11

Posted by: Fernando Magyar | December 21, 2007 7:08 AM

Might be a trend starting here. There is a nice Methodist Church with a for sale on it around the corner from where I live in Hollywood Florida. I guess the church business hasn't been that good. It's been on the market for a while so I guess neither has the commercial real estate market.

#12

Posted by: JRS | December 21, 2007 7:56 AM

Has anyone checked to see if they've achieved 'mega' status and are simply selling their old property for something bigger? In that case, maybe it would be better not to give them $8 mil.

#13

Posted by: JRS | December 21, 2007 8:11 AM

OK, posting again. What is the deal with these cult people putting the word 'science' next to the word 'Christ'? I think if you ever see those two words next to each other, you know you're looking at some fresh, homegrown, high quality crazy.

#14

Posted by: rjb | December 21, 2007 8:29 AM

In Pittsburgh, you can visit an old catholic church that was converted to a brew pub!! Check out the Church Brew Works (http://www.churchbrew.com/) if you're in town. Really an interesting experience, all the stained glass, the brewing apparatus up on the altar, really neat place... although IMHO, the food is a bit overpriced for what you get, but definitely worth it for the atmosphere.

#15

Posted by: Nan | December 21, 2007 8:35 AM

I think the Church of Christ, Scientist, is one of the denominations that's steadily shrinking. They don't do the warm and fuzzy religion with a prize inside that the mega churches do, no cuddly bells and whistles, no telling the congegration that hypocrisy is fine, greed is good, and Jebus wants you to hate homos, no serving lattes in the church social hall, none of that Cracker Jack type prizes to the kiddies that are associated with the youth groups (Awana) at Baptist churches, and they're not real big on proselytizing. They have "reading rooms" where anyone can wander in and study the church doctrines (or just peruse the Christian Science Monitor), but after their founder (Mary Baker Eddy) died they werent the type to go around knocking on doors and annoying people. In short, they're well on their way to doing the right thing and following the Shakers into oblivion.

As for buyers replacing the religious stained glass with scenes from science, not do-able. The building's listed on the National Register so that means no changes to the exterior fabric that would significantly alter its historic appearance.

#16

Posted by: MAJeff | December 21, 2007 9:05 AM

(And for what it's worth, the complex on Huntington Avenue in Boston is an awful lot of expensive and elegantly designed nothing...)

Tell me about it. My aunt's partner is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay into woo, so when my aunt was in meetings I got to play tour guide and we had to go to the place to stand inside the silly globe thing. Walking through the adjacent Back Bay and South End neighborhoods is a far more interesting and entertaining walk. Hell, cross the street and catch a concert at Symphony Hall.

The wading pool is pretty, though.

#17

Posted by: Carlie | December 21, 2007 9:13 AM

There's a church in Lawrence, KS that was converted into apartments. I always thought it would be cool to live in an old church; great architecture.

#18

Posted by: Karley | December 21, 2007 9:32 AM

There's a big-ass abandoned church in my hometown that's been abandoned for years. I've fancied buying it and turning it into something useful.
Guess I'll wait until after I buy my private jet and island.

#19

Posted by: Curt Cameron | December 21, 2007 9:54 AM

There's a guy who lives in my neighborhood, who needed a place to put his business that he was starting up, so he bought an old church in downtown Dallas. He told me that, and I suspected deeper motivations, so I told him that sounded pretty sacrilegious, and he got this big smile and said "oh yeah." That's when I found out he's as big an atheist as I am.

#20

Posted by: MAJeff | December 21, 2007 9:58 AM

I always thought a Catholic cathedral would make a great gay sex club--condoms only, though! You could even keep the crucifixes for the S/M rooms.

Since it's Christian Scientist, yeah a medical clinic would probably be best.

#21

Posted by: PZ Myers | December 21, 2007 10:11 AM

People of my generation who lived in Seattle in the 1970s and 80s will remember The Monastery.

#22

Posted by: Amanda | December 21, 2007 10:20 AM

There's a great, creepy link at The Olive Tree post, "A Little Kinkiness for your Wednesday." Weird, kinky Christian stuff. Ick...

#23

Posted by: Kseniya | December 21, 2007 10:28 AM

The silly globe thing is acoustically interesting.

#24

Posted by: Arlo | December 21, 2007 11:31 AM

I know this cool lady named Alice, who's a great cook. Maybe she could buy it and open a Restaurant or something?

#25

Posted by: travc | December 21, 2007 3:49 PM

Too bad the Unitarians aren't rolling in extra cash.

A bit seriously, I don't know the location (which matters a lot), but this could be a great public building. Community center / library / small museum and gallery would be the obvious way to go. Making the auditorium and halls available for events (rent at the maintenance cost rate) is a must. We need more good public places for ceremonies and forums.

Of course, USC buying it wouldn't necissarially be terrible. It would be cool to have a public lecture series there.

#26

Posted by: arensb | December 21, 2007 4:50 PM

Does that $8M include shipping? I know the Atheist Community of Austin has been wanting to buy a church at which to hold their meetings.

#27

Posted by: Mena | December 21, 2007 5:51 PM

Only $8 million? That's about 1/9 of a Rothko and 1/3 of a Magna Carta!