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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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A LITTLE BOY LOST

"Nought loves another as itself,
Nor venerates another so,
Nor is it possible to thought
A greater than itself to know:

"And Father, how can I love you
Or any of my brothers more?
I love you like the little bird
That picks up crumbs around the door."

The Priest sat by and heard the child,
In trembling zeal he seiz'd his hair:
He led him by his little coat,
And all admir'd the priestly care.

And standing on the altar high,
"Lo! what a fiend is here!" said he,
"One who sets reason up for judge
Of our most holy Mystery."

The weeping child could not be heard,
The weeping parents were in vain;
They strip'd him to his little shirt,
And bound him in an iron chain;

And burn'd him in a holy place,
Where many had been burn'd before:
The weeping parents wept in vain.
Are such things done on Albion's shore?

[William Blake, from "Songs of Experience"]

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« Drugs for brains | Main | Countdown to 2010! »

Atheist Santa

Category: Humor
Posted on: December 19, 2007 2:49 PM, by PZ Myers

He's my favorite kind of Santa.

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Comments

Posted by: Galbinus_Caeli | December 19, 2007 2:57 PM

Send Atheist Santa to my house! His gifts sound cool.

Posted by: Brownian, OM | December 19, 2007 2:57 PM

I've always believed in Lore Sjöberg.

Posted by: aiabx | December 19, 2007 3:19 PM

I think Atheist Santa sounds the best too. I want periodic table blocks and a model Archaopteryx. Pagan Santa would have been cooler if he had burnt parents in wicker cages.

Posted by: noncarborundum | December 19, 2007 3:24 PM

Darn. I already have a model Archaeopteryx.

Posted by: Todd | December 19, 2007 3:40 PM

Parent Appreciation Santa all the way.

On second thought, I'm keeping the Wii for myself. Go play your crappy PS2.

Posted by: thadd | December 19, 2007 4:12 PM

The seminary I used to go to would not put up Santa's, not because of the Christ in Christmas thing, but because they said Santa was designed in the current form by Coke Cola, which many opposed due to human rights violations.
Instead, they had poler bears, which funny enough were also an invention of Coke for advertising purposes. Everyone knows the only real white bears wear armor and kill people, not drink soda and cuddle with seals.

Posted by: ShavenYak | December 19, 2007 4:13 PM

Well, my little girl would love Atheist Santa. That model Archaeopteryx would be right up her alley. I don't think she'd be into the periodic table blocks quite yet, though.

Posted by: horgworm | December 19, 2007 4:48 PM

i would gleefully buy a periodic block set! I guess i'll have to learn to make my own...

Posted by: Sengkelat | December 19, 2007 5:43 PM

Hey, written by Lore Sjoberg. I went to junior high with him. Small world.

Atheist Santa sounds like he has the best gifts. I wouldn't mind a model Archeopteryx to go with my model Pteranodon and my model Quetzalcoatlus.

#10

Posted by: George | December 19, 2007 6:24 PM

How aboutr a Periodic Table TABLE (and a subscription to the Element Of The Month Club). Of course, a Sodium Party would be fun too:

http://www.theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/index.html
http://www.theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Stories/011.2/

#11

Posted by: PipeUp | December 19, 2007 11:07 PM

Ooh! Ooh! I want a visit from Pagan Santa! Who wouldn't want a strange man in a breechcloth and antlers recreating battles with the Oak King in their very own home? And as a bonus, he frightens those pesky children right out of the room! Sounds like a dream Xmas to me.

#12

Posted by: Bride of Shrek | December 20, 2007 12:37 AM

Round my house we have "Couldn't be Arsed Santa". You know, the one who really couldn't give acrap about Christmas, its 35 odd degrees outside and too damn hot to do anything but lie in a pool of yor own sweat, the shops are crazy, you can't get a park and when you finally get back to the car its about 80 degrees inside and the seatbelt leaves you with third degree burns, you hate all the pressie you get, you're the stupid bugger that has to get up at 6 to cook a friggin turkey in the heat that no one really wants but would send up wails of distress if you didn't do and someone always has the cheek to complain because you forgot one of the three million components that make up a Christmas lunch.

Oh hang on, thats not "Couldn't be Arsed Santa" thats me, "Fuck Christmas and the Horse it Road in On"" Bride of Shrek.

Bah Humbug.

#13

Posted by: Bride of Shrek | December 20, 2007 12:40 AM

Oh, and Mr Shrek, I know you're probably reading this at work so I just want to say if you buy me a kitchen appliance again this year, you're a dead ogre.

#14

Posted by: MikeM | December 20, 2007 1:54 AM

Lore is one of the funniest guys I've ever gained knowledge of.

I reeeeeally miss Brunching Shuttlecocks.

#15

Posted by: bernarda | December 20, 2007 7:31 AM

Perhaps OT, but imagine you lived in a country which had a semi-civilized political class.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/7151346.stm

"New Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has answered "no" when asked on BBC radio if he believed in God.

The rapid-fire question and answer format on 5 Live meant the 40-year-old did not have the chance to elaborate.

He later said he had "enormous respect for people who have religious faith", that his wife is Catholic and that his children are being brought up Catholic.

Last month, former PM Tony Blair said he had not talked much about his faith for fear of being labelled a "nutter"."

#16

Posted by: Jim A | December 20, 2007 8:45 AM

...The rapid-fire question and answer format on 5 Live meant the 40-year-old did not have the chance to elaborate.

That's the thing, not believing in god requires no further elabaration. Once you say you believe in God all the questions start: One or many? Jehova, Jesus, Allah, etc? Orthodox, Catholic, or Zen? The non-existance of God may be an unprovable assertion, but it sure is simpler than explaining exactly what flavor of God you believe in.