Posted by PZ Myers on January 25, 2008 A reader sent me an example of religious kitsch, but just to be on the safe side, I’m going to have to put it below the fold. There’s nothing obscene about the work in question, but I dare you to look at it and not have wildly inappropriate thoughts skitter through your brain.
I think we need a caption contest for this one.
how about just playing Neil Diamond’s ” turn on your love light”
“Christ is risen.”
Kmarissa, unless penises grow out of kneecaps, I’d say this is more wishful thinking than the pedophilia fantasy some seem to be having here.
“Now someone turn off the light in the room behind me.”
i can see the religious right’s reason for this. realizing that a 33-year-old unmarried male who hung around all day with his 12 male friends is obviously gay, they decided to cut their losses by using this to prove that indeed, all child molestors are gay. They may lose a savior but they establish another falsehood in their fight for bigotry.
Whom ever can lift my staff shall see the light.
“I am dying for your sins.”
TisStupid, anything is possible with god. 
“now you three kiss and make up”
HEY This IS for real, all you who asked. From 1959 until 1979 this light switch was over my head in my bedroom! My parents, who are 84 years old, STILL have this switch plate in a bedroom in their house. I used to lay in bed at night and once in a while look up and wonder “why are they staring at Jesus’ Pee pee!!!” HONEST. After I got married in the 1980s, my wife and I stayed at my parents house over Christmas holidays and my wife would crack up at the light switch over our heads. The funniest thing is………my parents had absolutely NO problems or thoughts about this being sexual at all. My parents are both VERY VERY devote Catholics and very strict about sex or anything to do with it. I never saw an M rated movie (before the PG and PG-13 ratings) until I was 17 years old and went out with my best friend without my parents knowing it!
Obviously the designers and marketers of religious iconography don’t have filthy minds like us lot. LOL
A few posters almost had it… it’s:
“Suffer me to come unto the little children.”
Dang… sorry. #122 already got it. I’m too late.
Holy hell! I get to crack a joke about christian iconography, AND offend someone in one thread?! Quick! somebody gimmie a baby to eat and I’ll have the whole evil atheist trifecta! I might even kick a puppy for an encore…
My first thought was, “Oh my fucking god”.
Then I realized – that’s the perfect caption, too!
“Oh ‘come’ all ye faithful…”
obviously this is a scene from one of the lost bible verses.
“Thou shalt partake of my bread, and yea, from this day forward thou shalt refer to thine bread as ‘the body of christ’”
Re: Catholics . . . am I alone in thinking Semenary is a double-entendre ?
oh well.
Re: #131: “”If this light remains on for more than four hours, consult your physician.”
Shouldn’t Jesus be the one calling his physician? Who is Jesus’s physician anyway? St. Luke?
Re: #207: Or “Suffer the little children to come on to me.”
I’m sure one of you did it (‘fess up!) but LOLtheist now has this photo with the caption “Light switch Jesus loves children very VERY much”.
“Do this as oft as you flick it in rememberence of me.”
“Remember kids, Jesus loves you.”
#88: The song covered by the Grateful Dead was “Turn On Your Lovelight” by Bobby “Blue” Bland.
“And leave it on!” — Pigpen
Adrienne:
Re: #131: “”If this light remains on for more than four hours, consult your physician.”
Shouldn’t Jesus be the one calling his physician? Who is Jesus’s physician anyway? St. Luke?
Unlikely. If Jesus was really male, after four hours he’d be calling all his buddies and bragging about it.
“Jesus is coming?
…Don’t swallow that.”
holy moly
And God said “Let there be light.”
And God saw the light, that it was wood.
Jesus loves you with the lights on.
“Taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Ps. 34:8)
(I’m grossing myself out here).
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
“If you turn Jesus off, you’ll go blind” or “If you turn Jesus off, you’ll be in the dark.” Maybe you could work “eternal darkness” into it?
Seems like a perfectly reasonable religious message to me. Easy for me to imagine the appropriate sermon. However, I’m not up on the most appropriate Biblical quotes.
“The Passion of the Christ”
(sings) “He’s got the whole world in His pants”
“Wel-cum children!”
I think it would probably look just a tiny bit less obscene in the “on” position (and when it’s in the “off” position, the room would be dark anyway).
Of course, in a hall-and-landing setup, all bets are off because there is always a way for the light to be on when one of the switches is “up”.
“Now turn the other cheek.”
or
“For I am the light and the res-ERECTION. Get it? See, because, light-switch, right– and check out my boner.”
or
“Lazarus, ARISE!… I call him Lazarus.”
or
“Consider the lillies of the valley.And by that I mean my penis.”
or
“This is my body you eat.”
or
“Yes, Jesus loves me. The bible (and his proud erection) tells me so.”
or
“I am risen!”
or
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone… at my boner.”
I think it would probably look just a tiny bit less obscene in the “on” position (and when it’s in the “off” position, the room would be dark anyway).
Of course, in a hall-and-landing setup, all bets are off because there is always a way for the light to be on when one of the switches is “up”.
Color me surprised. On what part of the planet is “up” not the “on” position?
“On what part of the planet is “up” not the “on” position?”
Two situations:
1. On multi-switch controls, as seen on landings. Flicking any switch changes the state of the light, so there is no certinty about up-or-down-on.
2. When someone has been doing DIY, and either thought it wouldn’t matter which hole they stuck the wire in or didn’t think about which way up they should install the switch.
He Is Risen!
Now children, prepare to receive the Host.
Obviously, Catholic.
Turn me on dead man
we’re all going to hell
Children know how to turn me on?
AND THEY MADE EVE FROM ADAMS RIB? DOUBT IT!!!
BET A MORMON DESIGNED IT!
Stand back and await the Secong Cumming!
Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red or yellow black or white they are precious in his sight…
“Turn me on, dead man.”
This must turn on the lights in a priests bedroom. Ever wonder why they call it a rectory?
Christ has died! Christ is risen! Christ will cum again!
“but who may abide the day of his coming”? (haendel, messiah)
As the hymn says, “Stand up, stand up, for Jesus, ye soldiers”.
So….Jesus was a switch hitter??
Strange, I thought the christian way was that it was up when the lights where down. Did I miss something the pope said?
I’m wondering if this will turn into a Huckabee Campaign speech
120 volts would flick your unit upright too.
Jesus isn’t circumsized. Who knew?
“spare the rod and spoil the child.”
“the way to a man’s sacred heart is through his…ermmm..”
Who are you to judge?
how immature
tc, how immature to think it so immature.
“Come little children ONTO me.” Or the other way around.
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