…and this is a 
Faith based solutions
Category: Humor
Posted on: January 19, 2008 9:51 AM, by PZ Myers
I understand that we're currently running some ads on scienceblogs for an organization that promises to harness the power of religious institutions to solve environmental problems (I use an adblocker, so I'm afraid I haven't seen it). It's a nice sentiment, but you can imagine what I think of the utility of religion, and of people of faith imagining that their delusions have something to contribute to finding real solutions. If you can't imagine that, here…a comic to help you out.
Comments
You obviously aren't remembering the power that these organised institutions have for lobbying, and the influence they have over many of their members' behavior patterns. If they use the power of the congregational mass vote to push for low-carbon and power saving solutions, to vote land protection measures into place, and/or to encourage recycling....
Posted by: Luna_the_cat | January 19, 2008 10:00 AM
But was the divine grilled cheese made out of his body? Did it do a magic trick to feed lots of people, or is that is reserved for fish and non-grilled breads?
Posted by: schmeer | January 19, 2008 10:01 AM
I am well aware of the power of these institutions, and sure, if they can achieve some of those specific goals, more power to them.
I am also aware that their fundamental faiths are batshit insane, and I don't trust them to maintain a rational hand on the rudder.
Posted by: PZ Myers | January 19, 2008 10:20 AM
christ on a cracker, it's a miracle!
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 10:21 AM
We will use religion's power,
Some time after Hades freezes,
Chanting, hour after hour,
"What a friend we have in Cheeses."
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | January 19, 2008 10:24 AM
What ads? Even God with his omnipotence, can't get past Adblock Plus....
Posted by: davem | January 19, 2008 10:24 AM
Harness the power of stupidity to save the planet.
Yeah, that'll work.
Bill McKibben:
If you drive a normal car and then you go out and trade it in and get a big SUV and you drive them both the same average distance for a year, in that one year the differential in the amount of energy you use, hence the amount of CO2 you put in the atmosphere, is the equivalent of opening your refrigerator door and leaving it open for six years.
Your average religious person would say: well, if you leave the refrigerator door open, it'll cool things down.
Posted by: CalGeorge | January 19, 2008 10:27 AM
One of my 'Wise Old Sayings I Just Made Up':
"If you have a faulty model of a problem in your head, you get right answers only by accident."
I've been suspicious of religious organizations, and religious people, jumping on the environmental bandwagon since they first -- very recently, and waaaay too late -- decided that maybe we humans WEREN'T supposed to "subdue the earth and rule over it."
Okay, so maybe they're on the right side now, because God tells them to be here. But what happens when God tells them something different? What happens when God tells them "Oh, don't worry about those whales and polar bears and stuff. The really important thing is that people have to eat."
Yeah, we have these problems, and they're getting worse. And the more the merrier on the side of solving them. But ... let's not fool ourselves that these are people who think just like us because we temporarily happen to be on the same side. If you're a fellow environmentalist who also happens to be a lesbian, they'll still probably believe you're possessed by the devil, and treat you that way.
And if you're an environmentalist who broaches the subject of somehow dealing with human overpopulation, the REAL environmental problem, I'll bet you find yourself shoved to the other side of a dividing line -- "You want to kill babies!!" -- in short order.
Posted by: Hank Fox | January 19, 2008 10:33 AM
Hmm.. harnessing the power of stupidity does sound like it has a lot of potential...
But the point I really wanted to make is this: A grilled cheese sandwich has a larger carbon footprint than a regular cheese sandwich.
Posted by: Greg Laden | January 19, 2008 10:34 AM
I will admit to some confusion about this. Jesus appears regularly on grilled cheese sandwiches, but apparently only to Christians. Why does he not convert Hindus to Christianity by the simple expedient of appearing on nan bread throughout India? Sadly, Hindus see one of many avatars on their nan, rather than the lord Jesus. What am I to make of this? Does Jesus hate non-Christians? Why does he not reveal the Truth to them, so that these poor benighted souls can see the light?
Posted by: carey | January 19, 2008 11:00 AM
I will admit to some confusion about this. Jesus appears regularly on grilled cheese sandwiches, but apparently only to Christians. Why does he not convert Hindus to Christianity by the simple expedient of appearing on nan bread throughout India? Sadly, Hindus see one of many avatars on their nan, rather than the lord Jesus. What am I to make of this? Does Jesus hate non-Christians? Why does he not reveal the Truth to them, so that these poor benighted souls can see the light?
You see, it's actually a re-enactment of the last supper. Only believers were at the event, so only believers are eligible to partake in the cannibalism. When Jesus reappears in the sandwich, he is making material the "This is my body" incantation. It is so they can partake in the cannibalism necessary for their eternal salvation that he only appears to Christians. And, by making a big deal out if and going to the media, rather than eating Jesus, the put their souls in jeopardy.
Jesus is for eating, not eBay.
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 11:04 AM
Why is it that religious images always appear on cheese,
pizza, muffins, donuts etc.? Why never on excrement?
Can you imagine someone seeing the image of jesus on a
pile of it in the street and exclaiming,"Holy Shit!"
Posted by: holbach | January 19, 2008 11:06 AM
If you look closely at DaVinci's painting, you can see that they were eating Grilled Cheese Sandwiches at the Last Supper.
Posted by: Greg Laden | January 19, 2008 11:07 AM
See, theology isn't that hard.
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 11:11 AM
I have often pondered the mindless logic of praying to
give thanks for food.If religious people assume that their
god provides food for them,they should also reason that he/it, is NOT provding food for others.
So they should ask. Why is god, in is infinite wisdom, not providing food for those who are dying slowly of hunger.
God can provide a feast for those who mindlessly mumble
a few empty verses to the skys,yet remains oblvious to the pleadings from innocent little children drawing their last hungry breath.
Posted by: jonboy | January 19, 2008 11:15 AM
Jumpin Jeezus, their crazy book, the bible, says that the Earth is flat (well, it's implied - because the concepts of a near-spherical planet & gravity hadn't been developed when the original Hebrew texts were written, so the author implicitly assumes it's flat - see Daniel 4:10, 11, & 20, & Matthew 4:8, for instances), so how can these believers in superstitious crap be trusted to act as thoughtful, reliable stewards of our planet?
Posted by: Richard Harris | January 19, 2008 11:19 AM
The main news item on Fauxnews right now is a crucified Jesus in a granite block .......
Such morons!!
Posted by: James | January 19, 2008 11:57 AM
The main news item on Fauxnews right now is a crucified Jesus in a granite block .......
Such morons!!
It's an outline, pictographic directions. They're supposed to follow the example.
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 11:59 AM
Why is it that religious images always appear on cheese,
pizza, muffins, donuts etc.? Why never on excrement?
Can you imagine someone seeing the image of jesus on a
pile of it in the street and exclaiming,"Holy Shit!"
....cleaning the water from my monitor....
Posted by: terry | January 19, 2008 12:05 PM
How often are these sandwiches made with Swiss?
You know, the kind with the holes in it.
Cheesus Saves!
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | January 19, 2008 12:29 PM
These images are very real I recently had a personal experience of this.
I was taking a shower and looking down ay my penis I was
shocked to see the image of St Peter.
The likness was unreal,I have not yet decided if I should
contact the media, who I am sure would be as convinced as I am.
Posted by: Jonboy | January 19, 2008 12:31 PM
I was taking a shower and looking down ay my penis I was
shocked to see the image of St Peter.
Was he cute?
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 12:36 PM
Whatever were you doing that would make it resemble a rock?
Suddenly, that comment by Jesus to Peter has new layers of meaning.
Posted by: PZ Myers | January 19, 2008 12:54 PM
I designed and created a lingerie/liquor cabinet (hot pink and pearl white) that has an image of Madonna (not the pop singer) hidden in the patina on the front door. Haven't sold it yet...stll, I think it's pretty funny.
Posted by: Dahan | January 19, 2008 1:01 PM
PZ, #3
"I am also aware that their fundamental faiths are batshit insane, and I don't trust them to maintain a rational hand on the rudder."
Why should you trust them, when you know, and we know, that they won't maintain a rational hand on this issue ?
Of course, they'll have to demonstrate that their sacred scriptures are evidence that Jesus and Mahomet had prophecized about how to handle AGW. It's all coded in the Bible and the Quran they'll say.
And they'll have to invent some new fairytales, a new story, maybe one or two official miracles, maybe a new Messiah or something. And quite some God telepathy.
Look, they can only win with this. I mean it's an excellent strategy :
-if it works, they'll say that religion is the best adaptative mechanism. And E.O. Wilson will be glorified.
-if it doesn't, they'll blame it on loss of faith
Posted by: negentropyeater | January 19, 2008 1:10 PM
This comic is hilarious!
The problem of evil cannot but used as a tool of ridicule enough in my view.
Posted by: Castaa | January 19, 2008 1:22 PM
Maybe an image of Cthulhu will appear on their food and it will eat THEM.
Posted by: Food for thought | January 19, 2008 1:25 PM
Cheesus Crust! I just baked a biscuit that had MAJeff's image on it! It's a sign that PZ should finally give him the Molly, freeing him up to create more delicious recipes.
If it transubstantiates, and I eat it, does that make me gay?
Posted by: ennui | January 19, 2008 1:44 PM
"These images are very real I recently had a personal experience of this. I was taking a shower and looking down ay my penis I was shocked to see the image of St Peter."
Like St Peter, I imagine it was hanging head down.
Posted by: Peter McGrath | January 19, 2008 1:45 PM
If it transubstantiates, and I eat it, does that make me gay?
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
freeing him up to create more delicious recipes.
Probably some potato-leek soup coming up soon.
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 1:49 PM
I'm going to have to disagree on this one. I don't think that ideas gained from "faith" are quite that malleable. I think this is just another case of the religious revelation having conveniently dovetailing with the person's actual beliefs. No one had any revelations about our role as stewards of creation meaning that we shouldn't be burning so much coal until people realized that it was having detrimental effects on the world. In short, those who believe, for mostly rational reasons, that we should take better care of the environment will claim that God tells them they should, whereas those who just don't care will point to the passages that say God tells them not to worry.
And seeing the wide diversity of different churches out there, and the fact that many churches advertise their environmental leanings, people who will say that God tells them to be good stewards will gravitate towards those churches.
In short, I'd rather not look a gift horse in the mouth.
Posted by: Rey Fox | January 19, 2008 1:52 PM
If it transubstantiates, and I eat it, does that make me gay?
Depends on if you enjoy it, I think.
Posted by: Rey Fox | January 19, 2008 1:53 PM
Good biscuit!
Posted by: ennui | January 19, 2008 1:55 PM
It is amazing how the human mind/brain like to see patterns in things everywhere, cheese sandwiches, granite rocks, mountain sides, clouds, forests, stars and even random data from time to time. Then make "grand interpretations" of the pattern's meaning making connection without any proof of any connection what so ever.
As to the Christian movement of the "Good Steward" in taking responsibility for the care of the earth because "God expects it" I say OK, we need everyone's help to make it work. Remember we were allied with Stalin's Soviet Union in WWII and we needed them to defeat Hitler's Germany.
In working together tolerance may grow between the religious and the scientific communities. I try not to have any illusions everything working out just great either in improving relations between "science and religion" nor in preventing the adverse effects of climate change but I see no other choice but to try.
Posted by: uncle frogy | January 19, 2008 1:58 PM
Depends on if you enjoy it, I think.
Well, that's kind of a given. After all, Paul Cameron, that eminent researcher, says that gay sex is as addictive as heroin. That's especially true when with someone who has mad skillz *evil grin*
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 1:58 PM
My favorite satirical "cartoons" on superstitions were made by Goya :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caprichos
... and those days, with the inquisition still active in Spain, they didn't involve grilled sandwiches, but were no lesser feat !
Posted by: negentropyeater | January 19, 2008 2:17 PM
Here #12 proof that Jesus has appeared on a shit stain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXe82pzw-ew
Posted by: Venger | January 19, 2008 2:24 PM
Here #12 proof that Jesus has appeared on a shit stain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXe82pzw-ew
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! just sitting here laughing my ass off.
Posted by: MAJeff | January 19, 2008 2:26 PM
Someone (I think it was The Onion, but I'm too lazy to look it up right now) had a great similar item a while back, a fake newspaper article entitled "Local church sends much-needed Bibles to starving Africans."
Posted by: MS | January 19, 2008 2:51 PM
I found Buddha on a floor tile at a McDonald's in Beaumont Tx. Before it could be made into a shrine, the building was destroyed by Formosan termites.
Posted by: Lyle G | January 19, 2008 3:44 PM
PZ says "...It's a nice sentiment, but you can imagine what I think of the utility of religion, and of people of faith imagining that their delusions have something to contribute to finding real solutions."
I am pretty sure I also saw a World Vision ad for sponsoring children on Pharyngula's side bar the other day. Coincidentally my husband and I had signed up to sponsor a young girl in Tanzania back in September through World Vision and have gotten three letters from her so far. This "Christian humanitarian organization dedicated to working with children, families, and their communities worldwide to reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty and injustice" is probably one many of you would not support but is a real world example of actual humanitarian efforts. Ziada is from a village that is affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis she is in primary school. In the community development projects, villages are transformed by work in five key areas: water, food and agriculture, health care, education, and economic development.
I am sure there are many secular organizations doing work there also, I applaud them all.
Posted by: Louise Van Court | January 19, 2008 4:10 PM
I'm sorry, but as a web site owner, I just despise ad-block users.
Posted by: Levent | January 19, 2008 4:48 PM
it annoys me that when i search for 'theory of evolution' on google the first website that shows up is http://www.darwins-theory-of-evolution.com/ ... a lying creationist website that states:
"Darwin's Theory of Evolution is a theory in crisis in light of the tremendous advances we've made in molecular biology, biochemistry and genetics over the past fifty years. We now know that there are in fact tens of thousands of irreducibly complex systems on the cellular level. Specified complexity pervades the microscopic biological world. Molecular biologist Michael Denton wrote, "Although the tiniest bacterial cells are incredibly small, weighing less than 10-12 grams, each is in effect a veritable"
Posted by: skeptic4u | January 19, 2008 5:11 PM
I'm sorry, but as a web site owner, I just despise ad-block users.
do you personally oversee the ads that go into rotation on your site?
if so, great, you have every right to despise ad-blocking tech.
if not, perhaps you might want to review why so many have started using them?
trust me, it's not because ads are irritating in and of themselves, it's because sometimes, they can be positively dangerous.
in fact, what got me started using ad-blocker was an ad on this very forum, which caused an automatic redirect to another site, which also had some rather nasty little scripts running on it.
so, I'm sorry, but unless you personally manage (or have someone who does a good job of it for you) the ads that rotate on your site, you don't have a leg to stand on.
Seed has shown a poor history of doing a good job managing banner rotations, so they get blocked.
simple as that.
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 19, 2008 5:35 PM
Remember that many religious folks have been against environmental concerns. They have believed God gave them the world to use to their immediate benefit, no questions asked. God would thus bless them and their actions, so nothing bad could result.
Posted by: Jim Thomerson | January 19, 2008 6:24 PM
You might want to shift the focus of your hatred to Jew-bashing - it seems the organization running those ads is founded and run by a couple of Jewish guys.
Posted by: Z.A. | January 19, 2008 7:55 PM
I love people seeing Jesus or the Madonna on fences, walls, pieces of pie - did they have YouTube 2000 years ago, or did someone discover an ancient video of the Holy Family at a picnic so we even know what these folks might have looked like?
Posted by: CParis | January 19, 2008 9:57 PM
Everyone knows Jesus was a white man, trained at Oxford. He wants you to be rich, and he also needs your money.
Posted by: Michael X | January 20, 2008 3:16 AM
Posted by: Billy | January 20, 2008 9:53 AM
Hey holbach, it's not just cheese: here's a real miracle image praise the lord (and pass the pooper scooper)
Posted by: AlanWCan | January 21, 2008 4:18 PM
# 50 Alan WCan That's a good one, but I feel sorry for
the poochie having to drag that damn thing aroud !
Posted by: holbach | January 23, 2008 12:08 PM