…and this is a 
I don't think I could make something this ugly if I tried
Category: Creationism • Weirdness
Posted on: January 21, 2008 4:29 PM, by PZ Myers
The video clip below is from a game called Noah's Adventures. It's awful—Noah sounds like a drunk with brain damage, the graphics look like a preschooler tried fingerpainting with his feces, and the whole plot is ridiculous.
Now here's the question: is this the work of a sincere creationist, or is this the product of the evil atheist conspiracy, made with the intent of making creationists look like talentless, tasteless hacks? I can't tell.
Comments
Is it just me or does Noah sound like Zoidberg from Futurama?
Posted by: B Shepard | January 21, 2008 4:34 PM
Evidence of incompetent design?
Posted by: Anon | January 21, 2008 4:35 PM
"o, god, they are fighting again" - cue 80s funk music.
wahahahaha.
Posted by: alex | January 21, 2008 4:43 PM
Who knew Noah was so whiney and God so congested?
Posted by: mackrelmint | January 21, 2008 4:45 PM
It looks like they used a version of Torque to make that. However, Torque definitely lets you have better graphics than that, so all I can say about the quality is that their art designer either didn't have much experience, didn't have enough time, or a combination of the two. The voice acting is absolutely horrid, and I'm shocked that anyone who developed that would think that's up to par. Overall, I would chalk that horrid mess to some people that knew just enough to make it, but not enough to make anything that looks good.
Posted by: Lledowynn | January 21, 2008 4:46 PM
Noah is explicitly depicted in the Bible as a drunk, and an angry one at that.
Posted by: Owlmirror | January 21, 2008 4:46 PM
Did God say "Cover it with pish"?
Posted by: Matt Heath | January 21, 2008 4:46 PM
I wanna see the part where the zombie Noah turns away raptors and unicorns for being evil!
Posted by: dcwp | January 21, 2008 4:46 PM
Nah, that's too stupid. I'll vote "evil conspiracy" on this one.
Posted by: stormen_per | January 21, 2008 4:47 PM
Jumpin' Jeezus! What crap!
So, it says men were wicked. But their bible book says men were made in the image of the god thing. So, you do the math.
And then there's this guy who can design & build a ship bigger than a supertanker, & do it in wood!, & at his first attempt at ship building! And he's an expert at animal husbandry, even for animals he's never encountered before, suchy as kangaroos. And what about all the plants that were drowned?
It's gotta be a parody. I mean, no sane person could believe such crap,
Posted by: Richard Harris | January 21, 2008 4:48 PM
Eight minutes of my life, gone forever. I oscillate between thinking it's genuine and thinking it the product of an extremely stoned machinima creator.
"Praise God. . . God is good. . . The animals are here. . . ."
"Noah! Enter the Ark! You and all your household!"
"Yeah! And don't forget to leave the garage door open so the pizza guy knows we're home!"
Posted by: Blake Stacey | January 21, 2008 4:49 PM
Cue, "Why can't you just live and let live" in 5...4...3...2..
Posted by: MAJeff | January 21, 2008 4:49 PM
o crap, after having watched all that, it must be a spoof. it can't possibly be real....?
Posted by: alex | January 21, 2008 4:51 PM
#10 Richard,
I think that the plants were all trampled by the elephants. See the video at minute 5:51.
Posted by: mackrelmint | January 21, 2008 4:52 PM
It's as if someone who had never seen a horse (or elephant, or panda, or human being) had one described to him by someone else who had only ever read about horses once in a book.
Posted by: DiscGrace | January 21, 2008 4:53 PM
*deep breath*
AHHH HAHAHAH!!!!!!
Man, did God smoke a joint before deciding to trash the place? He sounds so ... mellow. You'd imagine that a wrathful deity hell-bent on destroying a planet would have more fury.
"Greeetingsss, neighhhboooorssss!!"
I don't think Noah would have had enough energy to build a raft, let alone an ark. "Looord Goddd CreeeeAHH-TOR".
Rofl! Noah seems whiny ... Noah is Eeyore!
No, wait, in the Bible it specifically said that Noah and his poor family had to gather all the animals. God didn't just drop them into the ark.
That ark needs a bumper sticker.
Posted by: Inky | January 21, 2008 4:54 PM
Is it worse than this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVfV2OzEHwg
Posted by: Abbie | January 21, 2008 4:55 PM
Man, did God smoke a joint before deciding to trash the place?
As I recall, that was the eighth day.
Posted by: MAJeff | January 21, 2008 4:56 PM
#17, OMG what dung! I think that Noah video is actually a leap ahead of that one!
Posted by: Lledowynn | January 21, 2008 4:58 PM
Is that a dinosaur on the deck of the Ark, right at the end?
Fortunately, it doesn't look like too many polygons died to make that ridiculous cartoon possible.
Posted by: Eamon Knight | January 21, 2008 4:59 PM
Abbie,
Sadly, I think it's not. Zoo race might actually be worse but then they were both made by the same company and are both terrible.
-Bad graphics aside, what kind of theology are the game creators pushing to kids here? That Noah put posters (see the screen shots)all over the ark to remind the animals to "Love God Hate Sin" and let them wander all over a mostly empty boat? And in Zoo race, that Noah had races with them? Ehh???!!!
Posted by: mackrelmint | January 21, 2008 5:05 PM
The game's website is worth a visit. My favorite part: a screenshot captioned "Noah! There is a tiger hiding in the chapel on the Ark!!!" I wish that happened in real life. It would sure help reduce the number of creationists.
Posted by: MB | January 21, 2008 5:07 PM
Holy shit
#17
the 6:20 mark is the greatest thing i have ever seen
they appear to be in some sort of animal disco, wherein the animals dance by spinning around in circles
and noah is there getting his gangsta lean on
i totally want to play this game now
Posted by: Rayzilla | January 21, 2008 5:09 PM
OMG!! EVERYONE SEND THAT TO VH1!! LOL!! I havent laughed that hard since the dramatic chipmunk.
Posted by: ERV | January 21, 2008 5:10 PM
So... um... Is there footage of when he's discovered asleep in his tent, passed out from drunkenness, naked? And what about after...?
Noah: "Oh, God... My head!"
God: "Noah... You shall never live this down. Yea though you live three hundred years and more from this day."
Noah: "Fuck."
Posted by: Moody834 | January 21, 2008 5:14 PM
It's things like this that make me love religion. I mean, which would you rather see: A whole heap of clowns pouring out of a Volkswagen, or this sort fo stupidity trying to pass itself off as good?
Of course, if I were making the game, it'd be titled Grand Theft Ark: Sin City, and Noah would hang out the side of the boat picking off random swimming sinners in a Biblical drive-by (or float-by as the case may be).
Not sure what to do with the whores though. Jesus was quite fond of them after all.
Posted by: Dan | January 21, 2008 5:20 PM
The other videos from the game are even more bizarre:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhMchQziVGM
Posted by: tacitus | January 21, 2008 5:26 PM
Bible Adventures for the NES was much better!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkNvQYiM6bw
Posted by: Eric | January 21, 2008 5:26 PM
I've always wondered: how did animals indigenous to the Americas and Australia and Indonesia survive the Great Flood if Noah wasn't in any of those areas? I mean where did mountain lions, kangaroos and orangutans come from?
Posted by: Rowsdower | January 21, 2008 5:27 PM
To be fair, anyone with a small budget would produce a game that's crappy. Then again, did they have a small budget? I don't know.
I hate, hate, HATE the noah's ark fable. UGH.
And wow, the music is amazing. Really fits the uh... tone. Sounds like something you'd hear down in the bayou!
Posted by: Kcanadensis | January 21, 2008 5:35 PM
Oh man! Animal Dance Party with Noah dropping some X and a coked up donkey spinning like mad.
Freakin' insane!
Posted by: Dan | January 21, 2008 5:35 PM
Abbie Yes, that is awful. And the picture of Einstein
on the wall is all the more degrading. H L Mencken, give
us a meaningful evaluation before we croak !
Posted by: holbach | January 21, 2008 5:50 PM
Pathetic attemp at something but not to sure at what.who ever made that has no talent for anything
Posted by: Ex Partiot | January 21, 2008 5:51 PM
I'm pretty sure that Noah didn't get his beliefs from the Christian Bible, as the video implies -- unless that nitwit from The View was right all along.
Posted by: gsb | January 21, 2008 5:52 PM
Posted by: Chris R. | January 21, 2008 5:55 PM
Wow, that's one of the most retarded videos I've ever seen. I particularly like the fact that Noah uses rhetoric to convince the 'sinners', despite the story of Noah being set quite a bit earlier than Christ or even the emergence of Judaism.
What else? I loved the sign on the Ark written in English. They could have made it better by putting "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" behind and having Noah wearing a smart USAF flight suit and giving the thumbs up salute. Drunken and brain-damaged, you say?
If I were to ever find myself directing or producing some kind of artistic representation of this scene from Genesis, I would seriously improve the animals boarding - this is the most amazing bit of the story, but this version was utterly lame. I mean, think every zoo in the world queued up outside the Ark is a dramatic scene but this video had about ten lonely animals popping out of the bushes and that's it. Bugger this, I'm off to the Natural History Museum to peer at funny rocks and extinct birds.
Posted by: Tom Morris | January 21, 2008 5:55 PM
german porn music!!! nice
Posted by: aaaa | January 21, 2008 6:05 PM
Wow.
As a person who works in the game industry, I have nothing but admiration for people with the drive and persistence to finish a game by themselves...it's the computer equivalent of building a pyramid.
However, I do know a halfassed hackjob when I see it, especially compared to the many masterworks of indie gaming, made by teams of less than 10 people. This game doesn't even stand next to games like Eternal Daughter, Scratches, Cloud, Dyadin, Flow, Darkfall, etc. It looks like they nicked all the graphics from Morrowind and turded them up. This has got some of the most painful textures I've ever seen. I mean, they could have done better with the presets that come with Bryce!
Ick. If there's a god, you can bet he doesn't want a shoddy pyramid.
Posted by: Scrabcake | January 21, 2008 6:07 PM
I'd listen to Bill Cosby's version of the Noah story any day over this piece of tripe. Now that's a whiny Noah who's realistic.
Posted by: Celandine | January 21, 2008 6:09 PM
I kept waiting to hear "all your base are belong to us."
Posted by: Chris F. | January 21, 2008 6:21 PM
Cue, "Why can't you just live and let live" in 5...4...3...2..
You used to say: "Live and let live"
you know ya did ya know ya did ya know ya did...
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 21, 2008 6:24 PM
It seems to me to be as sincere as it is crappy. No matter how feculent, any religiously inspired travesty will get fulsome praise from the devout. They take sincerity for quality and eagerly spoon up the most noisome dreck.
Posted by: Zeno | January 21, 2008 6:25 PM
Genesis 9:24 KJV
"And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him"
P.Z. Meyers:012108
"..Noah sounds like a drunk.."
DING*DING*DING*DING we have a match
Posted by: CleveDan | January 21, 2008 6:25 PM
no, no, it's great!
I highly encourage all xians to invest their money into this game company that obviously will be taking the market by storm any day now!
seriously, call your broker right now, and have them encourage the CEO of this wonderful game company to do an IPO right away!
hurry, while you can still get in on the ground floor!
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 21, 2008 6:32 PM
It's amazing what they can do with a Commodore 64 these days.
Posted by: windy | January 21, 2008 6:34 PM
It sure seems to stupid to be real, but then doesn't the concept of an all powerful, all knowing God creating a world full of murder, vice, and other sins and being surprised by it seem pretty damn stupid??
Posted by: dogmeatib | January 21, 2008 6:42 PM
Yeah but, but... it "won" 28 "awards"! Including the coveted Golden Acorn!
Posted by: Norm | January 21, 2008 6:47 PM
When I found out I was about as incompetent as this in the 3D graphics realm, I quit to save myself the shame. The aniamtion, or whatever that's supposed to be, is sub-rudimentary, and their timing on the animations is hilarious. Was that a dog that knocked the tree into the next dimension? It must've been filled with god's power to escape the coming genocide.
At least the tune was mildly catchy.
Posted by: BlueIndependent | January 21, 2008 6:47 PM
And what is up with Noah trying to convince his neighbors to renounce their pugilistic ways and accept God? God had already called the hit! He wasn't asking for Noah to get any last-minute conversions. Dumbass.
Posted by: Brian | January 21, 2008 6:58 PM
When I first saw the video I got the distinct impression that I'd seen that world before. It felt like it was Machinima-adapted from a late 1990's RPG from the bottle-brush trees and very low poly models with poor textures and no bump-mapping.
Morrowind's 3D graphics, even if you put crappy skins on them, were much higher poly count and much more detailed textures, including bump mapping. Also, I couldn't believe, even for a moment, that those graphics would be as advanced as Wizardry 8 having just run through it on a nostalgia binge.
So, I looked in my archives for a likely candidate then searched for some screen shots on the Internet. I'm pretty sure they used the graphics engine from (or equal to) the Might & Magic VI, VII & VIII series. See what you think:
http://ancienthomeofdragon.homestead.com/files/MM6images/TitansParadiseValley.jpg
http://www.rpgfan.com/reviews/might&magic6/mightmag6-1.jpg
http://www.juegomania.org/emuladores/pc/1/1107.jpg
Another option would be Doom II:
http://drsleep.newdoom.com/images/dm2gm1.jpg
But considering the exterior scenes, I'm sticking with Might and Magic VI as either a mod or a licensed engine from the collapse of 3DO.
Posted by: Moses | January 21, 2008 7:34 PM
I second the motion that Cosby's version is superior. Plus it has the advantage of introducing the concept of 'wry irony' into human communication. You remember, when Noah responded, "Riiiight."
If this is made for kids by kids, well, how 'bout those little rascals? You never no what they'll come up with next.
If this is an adult production, they should consult some geek kids.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | January 21, 2008 7:48 PM
And the opening music seemed eerily familiar. I couldn't place it at first by it just occurred to me that it's Organ Leroy, at his organ again.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | January 21, 2008 7:51 PM
Well, now we know how the unicorns got fragged.
Posted by: wÓ&oGrave;† | January 21, 2008 7:54 PM
At 6:09 into that crap video, Noah appears to be getting to know one of his new boat mates... maybe that herky-jerky sheep? "Praise god, god is good, the animals are here!"
The previous Eddie Izard video post pointed out something I hadn't thought of before... why would ducks, seabirds, or fish have to get on the boat? god- "that's where my theory falls to the ground".
Posted by: SteadyEddy | January 21, 2008 7:56 PM
Well, if I made a world that looked that crappy, I'd want a 'do-over' too.
Posted by: Booger | January 21, 2008 8:10 PM
Two answers on the fish:
1) Fish don't breathe, and somewhere in the story it mentions that 'breathing things' will be wiped out, so the fish clearly did not need to get onto the ark.
2) There are lots of fish that can't survive the level of salinity / temperature of the Flood water (correct me if you know the exact properties of Flood water), so the fish clearly needed to get onto the ark.
;-)
Posted by: YetAnotherKevin | January 21, 2008 8:14 PM
I checked out the website and it does seem to be for real. The full version of the game is a whopping 55 megabytes, which helps to explain some of the quality issues... I vote "sincere creationist" on this one.
Posted by: Jacob | January 21, 2008 8:18 PM
The previous Eddie Izard video post pointed out something I hadn't thought of before... why would ducks, seabirds, or fish have to get on the boat? god- "that's where my theory falls to the ground".
Yes, the evil floatie things had an out. Bad swans and ducks and geese floating alongside, taunting the other animals, "Feeling lonely? We're not!"
Posted by: MAJeff | January 21, 2008 8:21 PM
There aren't many days that I'm glad I have crummy dial up at home, but this post looks likes an argument against high speed. Now if I can just get back that ten minutes I lost watching that Tom Cruse scientology video......
Posted by: Bert Chadick | January 21, 2008 8:25 PM
You've got to wonder, what's on the cutting room floor?
Posted by: Denis Loubet | January 21, 2008 8:29 PM
Forgive if this has already been mentioned, but did anyone else notice that both of the lions that boarded had manes? That meant they were both male. From this we can hypothesize that they were gay lions. I'm certain there is deep meaning in this.
Posted by: Amber | January 21, 2008 8:42 PM
"why would ducks, seabirds, or fish have to get on the boat?
There was a Daffy Duck cartoon where Daffy runs off a cliff and Bugs Bunny asks "I wonder if he'll remember that he's a dusk and can fly?" (daffy hits ground*thud*) "Guess not."
I only watched a couple of minutes, but I got the impression that the reason Noah talked so strangely is that the animation was so slow; they wanted his voice to match the slo-mo of his mouth. As someone else said, there's only so much you can do with a Commodore 64.
The thing I noticed right away is that the hills shouldn't have been there. According to Flood Geology, the mountains were raised up after the flood. The continents were separated afterwards too. That way, all the Australian marsupials, the New World animals, and so on could be let loose in one place, disperse, and then ride the newly separated continents to their present positions.
See, when you think things through, it all makes sense. /irony mode
Posted by: BaldApe | January 21, 2008 8:57 PM
Deep thoughts keeping me up at night:
People seem to forget that there were actually seven pairs of each clean animal and one pair of each unclean animal. But god didn't bother telling anyone the difference until Moses came along several generations later. Did Moses have to show each pair to god to get a ruling? That must have been why it took so long to build the boat.
Female animals are often picky about their choice of mates. What if some of the females didn't like their chosen mate and, therefore did not reproduce?
How did Noah know that each animal he brought on board was fertile?
The smell of rotting carcases over all the earth would be overwhelming. I wonder how long this lasted. Of course, after being on a boat reeking with animal shit for a year may have inured the humans and animals to the smell. I'm just guessing.
But I think the biggest question is, after destroying every living thing on earth in a tantrum, why didn't god know that things were just going to get worse with us cursed, sinful humans? Not a lot of foresite here.
Posted by: wrpd | January 21, 2008 9:00 PM
Maybe...maybe the whole Bible is a parody!!111!!onesey!
Those shepherds knew how to pull one over on a world!
Posted by: PalMD | January 21, 2008 9:09 PM
wrpd,
But, but, but...the pretty rainbow!
Posted by: MAJeff | January 21, 2008 9:09 PM
This must be the videogame the bible based its story on. I hear they got some pretty experienced D&D or Star Trek novel writer to flesh out the story, but that didn't make it much better.
Posted by: LegoPanda | January 21, 2008 9:55 PM
Did not make it past 20 seconds, and I am really quite surprised at the commentators who were actually able to watch beyond the first 20 seconds. Some even went further, investigating this.
What a waste of precious energy eating space and time for creationists to "create this." But also what a pathetic waste for any of us members of the PZ audience to actually watch enough to get the details or to do research to get more details?
Posted by: LeeLeeOne | January 21, 2008 9:57 PM
Hi Friends,
Glad you liked the video and game. I tried to make it fun and funny. :) Sorry about forgeting the rainbow, but I made sure one was in for Noah 2 - aka The Zoo Race www.zoorace.com
Anyways, good news for ya! This game works on a pentium 3 ! Surprise!!!
Okay Bye. :)
Posted by: Cougar Interactive | January 21, 2008 9:59 PM
Glad you liked the video and game.
that's some serious denial, right there.
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 21, 2008 10:05 PM
Perhaps today is opposite day, and no one told us?
Posted by: Owlmirror | January 21, 2008 10:12 PM
I'm waiting for him to list PZ on his site as giving a "glowing review" of his game.
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 21, 2008 10:20 PM
Perhaps Noah got them from Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Emporium.
Say "Hi!" to Sparky.
Posted by: Janine | January 21, 2008 10:26 PM
The Lord was "sorry"? How exactly could the creator of the universe, who knows all, be "sorry" for anything?
How fucking stupid.
Posted by: Dick's Cheney | January 21, 2008 10:29 PM
I keep waiting for a horned bull-man to jog over a hill and mince up the Noah family with a battle ax.
Its rather natural that Noah would have the empty vacuous appearance of unthinking religious robots, created to fulfill the whims of an vengeance loving god.
Id be depressed to if I thought that was how things really worked.
Posted by: Andy James | January 21, 2008 10:32 PM
That dance party is awesome. I may have missed that verse when I read Genesis. Is it tucked in-between begats someplace?
Posted by: Tom Foss | January 21, 2008 10:47 PM
Hehe, hey you guys are funny. :-D
If you missed the creature dance party in the bible, then be sure to check out the donkey talking over in Numbers 22:30 ... :)
But, hey I have to go now. Nice talking with you guys. Just send me a message over on the game sites or on youtube for any questions. You guys are great, but remember this older 3D Noah game from the year 2004 is for little kiddies. Okay Bye.
Randall Alaimo
Independent Game Developer
Cougar Interactive
Posted by: Cougar Interactive | January 21, 2008 11:02 PM
I want to know why Noah's ark is always depicted with the door near the bottom of the ship. That would put it beneath the water line when it was sailing. I really doubt they could make a water tight seal on a part that was meant to be opened.
Posted by: Michael | January 21, 2008 11:05 PM
OMG !
You noticed the lions manes???
But, how about the fact that both deers have large horns?!?!?
UHh Ogghhh!!!!! HAHA! :-0 :-)
Posted by: Cougar Interactive | January 21, 2008 11:06 PM
But, hey I have to go now.
awww.
You guys are great, but remember this older 3D Noah game from the year 2004 is for little kiddies
wait, that's supposed to make it BETTER somehow?
*yikes*
does the adult version come with a bestiality module?
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 21, 2008 11:07 PM
"Well, if I made a world that looked that crappy, I'd want a 'do-over' too."
Booger wins!
Posted by: Amy | January 21, 2008 11:20 PM
Randall Alaimo: The Ned Flanders of the gaming world. He just needed to throw in some "diddlies" and "gollies" and the post would have been complete.
Posted by: Shigella | January 21, 2008 11:34 PM
Oh please PZ, stop it ... just your introductory text for this had me dangerously close to a "hello monitor, meet nose coffee" incident, let alone the video clip! :)
Ye Gods these people are slug brained. I'm reminded of what P.J. O'Rourke said about Jim & Tammy Bakker's Heritage USA theme park in Holidays in Hell:
"To think that the same god that inspired the Sistine Chapel, the cathedral at Chartres and Westminster Abbey could also inspire this. That guy upstairs must be a big kidder."
Posted by: David Edwards | January 21, 2008 11:48 PM
As many have noted, yup, Noah was an angry drunk. It's all there in the Big Book o' Bad Christian Fables.
But I'm still asking two questions:
1) Where'd the water come from?
2) Where'd it all go?
As an aside, I still can't stand the story of Jonah. Yeesh, that's an idiotic tale.
Posted by: MikeM | January 22, 2008 1:07 AM
I don't know, despite all your ridicule I found that to be a very stirring and moving presentation on many emotional levels. I'm surprised that religious fundamentalists can be such insightful artisans. I'll probably shelve my atheism for a while, and do some research on Noah and intelligent design.
Posted by: eric | January 22, 2008 1:07 AM
Remember, every time you see a rainbow, God is having gay sex.
Posted by: Cath | January 22, 2008 1:10 AM
Yeeeesh! I couldn't wade through more than 2 minutes of that dreck. I nearly passed tea through my sinuses though when Noah's "NAAAYYY-BOURRRS" arrived, and jumped from the left of the screen to their totally new positions. Can you say 'continuity'?
Just exactly who'd be playing this game, anyway? Other than Rod and Todd Flanders, I mean? It's 'way too dreary for kids, too kitschy for teens and too, well... too hilarious for adults.
Posted by: PipeUp | January 22, 2008 1:32 AM
You're kidding, right? Best entertainment so far this year; I'm still wiping the tears from my face. :-) I'm wondering whether this has to be an application of spectacularly terrible animation and sound as a sort of ironic device, akin to intentional misspelling?
One other thing: did anybody else immediately think of the voice of DEATH AS WRITTEN IN THE DISCWORLD NOVELS when the voice of "God" appeared in the soundtrack...?
Posted by: Brain Hertz | January 22, 2008 1:43 AM
Hey, but who is Ned Flanders? :)
And I like Bill Cosby comedy stuff.
Well listen guys, in the year 2004, I presented this game to the game convention guys and they were complaining that it required a Pentium 3 minimum, because they wanted it to work on a Pentium 2 back then! So, to make it work good on a P3, I cut out lots of graphics in it. Oops my mistake, but the game idea still is unique yes? I've heard from customers that little kids like to play it a lot. You know, find the missing animals and also give the animals what they want to board the ark! Have you guys seen the other movies that show this???
I hope you like the story movie. It took a few months to make it. If you know anyone with small kids, tell them to try downloading the free game demo. :)
Posted by: Cougar Interactive | January 22, 2008 2:09 AM
Pentium 4s were released in 2000 and these people were whining about it not running on a Pentium 2 in 2004? Were they also complaining that you couldn't play it over ARPANET?
Posted by: Chris R. | January 22, 2008 2:35 AM
This is the best example of Russell's Law I have seen to date!
Dave
Posted by: Dave Thomas | January 22, 2008 3:59 AM
Did anyone notice they promised we would be "amazed at the realistic animations" at their website? Clearly somebody has never seen a... Well, anything, obviously.
Posted by: Kytescall | January 22, 2008 4:39 AM
Eric @ # 83 ...and do some research on Noah and intelligent design.
So, that'll be a first - research on intelligent design. Or did you mean, research on the history & ideology of intelligent design?
And why bother with Noah? The biblical story is informed by the world view of its author, a very limited world view of someone who'd probably never travelled outside of his local area, who had no idea about the enormous diversity of life, or the size of the world. It's like the implied flat Earth references - their imagination was very limited. And, I guess, only people with a limited imagination can believe such absurd nonsense, so why waste your time?
Posted by: Richard Harris | January 22, 2008 6:16 AM
Does anyone know that laughable Left Behind video game? The one where you're supposed to convert everyone in New York to Evangelical Christianity or otherwise exterminate them?
Posted by: Kytescall | January 22, 2008 7:07 AM
Chris R. Re #88,
Hey there may still be some among us who do graphics in BASIC on Vic 20s with 16K memory expansion cards. The Colors and sound effects are really cool too. Can't wait to upgrade to that Commodore 64.
Posted by: Fernando Magyar | January 22, 2008 7:13 AM
My bet is it the real deal. A parody would have done better work, after all garbage gets in the way of the joke.
Posted by: Bob L | January 22, 2008 11:31 AM
I like the Eddie Izzard ark story the best because he had the foresight to include a "big room for poo." And in Eddie's version, Noah is played by Eddie doing a Seam Connery voice.
But I'm also torn as to whether it's real or parody. I mean, why is Noah the only one wearing Doc Martens? And what is up with the hovering dove??
Posted by: dwarf zebu | January 22, 2008 11:56 AM
Noah was a drunk with brain damage. How else do you account for the origin of that farcical flood myth?!
Posted by: Ian | January 22, 2008 12:08 PM
The reason the characters seem to levitate so weirdly is due to an elementary math error. The origin of the skeleton reference frame (most often defined in the hips) is being used to locate the character meshes, offset by their standing height. This looks fine until the skeletal animations move the skeleton, then it just looks silly and creepy.
A similar, very basic, math error is responsible for the creatures skating so badly when walking.
No game programmer who tried to show this as a demo would survive the laughter at his or her expense at a hiring interview.
Posted by: melior | January 22, 2008 2:30 PM