Worship the trilobite
Category: Entertainment • Fossils • Humor
Posted on: January 16, 2008 8:25 PM, by PZ Myers
(hat tip to RBH)
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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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(Complete listing)(19) Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt (20) and lusted after her paramours whose members were like those of donkeys and whose emissions was like that of stallions.
[Ezekiel 23]
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Comments
If ooze is good, is slime divine? And where does the hagfish fit in the holy hierarchy?
Posted by: MAJeff | January 16, 2008 8:31 PM
Trilobites are really neat
Trilobites are full of meat
We love eating trilobites!
Posted by: Dr Paisley | January 16, 2008 8:38 PM
yay trilobites.
As soon as the snow melts I'm going trilobite hunting. I want to buy an air scribe and teach myself fossil preparation.
Posted by: craig | January 16, 2008 8:38 PM
mmmm trilobites....
as delicious as obama not on the ballot in michigan and the banality of modern life in this evil world
Posted by: the constant skeptic | January 16, 2008 8:58 PM
On second glance, trilobites do look a lot like the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Posted by: Mike Fox | January 16, 2008 9:44 PM
Hell yeah!
Posted by: danley | January 16, 2008 9:58 PM
never ceases to amaze me how well those Phacops eyelets get preserved.
it's like they still can see you...
always been my favorite trilobites.
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 16, 2008 10:06 PM
Did anyone else happen to watch the Trilobite Beetle of Borneo video that was recommended at the end? Freakiest critter I've seen in a while. Never knew they existed.
Posted by: sublunary | January 16, 2008 10:09 PM
...btw Phacops played a role in the evidence used by Gould and Eldredge in formulating Punc Eq.
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 16, 2008 10:11 PM
@#8
that looks like the larval stage of that critter to me.
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 16, 2008 10:14 PM
Re: #2
And name it "Tibby."
Posted by: CortxVortx | January 16, 2008 10:30 PM
Great trilobite site:
http://www.trilobites.info/trilobite.htm
Posted by: CortxVortx | January 16, 2008 10:34 PM
fuck me, now I'm all hot to go on a collecting expedition.
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 16, 2008 10:46 PM
I have long maintained that Intelligent Design is obvious once you realize that the Universe was created for worms. This revelation about Trilobites only strengthens my personal belief.
Humans are just an overly elaborate way of concentrating nutrients.
Posted by: Tony Popple | January 16, 2008 11:16 PM
Can the great god Trilobite give me a Trilobite for my birthday?
A live one?
Posted by: Kristine | January 17, 2008 12:03 AM
The Trilobite Beetle of Borneo is really the son of Mighty Trilobite, sent to Earth to save us from our grins. This time It will only need one nail and a lollypop(popsicle) stick.
Posted by: Stephen | January 17, 2008 12:07 AM
The Trilobite Lord has the distinct benefit of being a once extant entity. Unlike the pretend lords of every other religion. (Cave bear cults excepted).
Posted by: Andy James | January 17, 2008 12:10 AM
That was pretty persuasive. I, for one, welcome our new fossil overlords. There's no god like an extinct god.
Posted by: Zeno | January 17, 2008 12:43 AM
...and Richard Fortey is their John the Baptist. Preaching in the scientific wilderness the Word of the Trilobite, that they may be born again.
Bob
Posted by: Bob O'H | January 17, 2008 1:00 AM
Nevermind the squid overlords. I am waiting for the second coming of the trilobite.
Posted by: Janine | January 17, 2008 1:12 AM
I don't know what to do. I'm so attracted to trilobite worship that I'd consider a switch, but it's difficult to give up my current religion.
Speaking of of this holiness, Neil Shubin may be a high priest, but Ray Troll is our true ichthoprophet..
Posted by: David Denning | January 17, 2008 2:29 AM
but it's difficult to give up my current religion.
I will be sending a large shark to your door to help you with that "decision".
Fish rule.
(all hail Dagon)
Posted by: Ichthyic | January 17, 2008 2:58 AM
Got kinda boring and repetitive, which I guess guarantees protection for them as having all the pertinent characteristics of a religion.
Posted by: wildcardjack | January 17, 2008 3:06 AM
What's with all the chirping in that video? Trilobites didn't chirp, did they?
Posted by: keiths | January 17, 2008 3:47 AM
Fools - the trilobite was merely a prophet, F*M is the One True God.
Posted by: grinch | January 17, 2008 4:33 AM
Wow! A bunch of trilobites flying around. Imagine that.
;-)
I've found a new flying trilobite fossil, and placed it on my blog banner.
Posted by: The Flying Trilobite | January 17, 2008 5:54 AM
Is it wrong to wish that those hands weren't always getting in the way of some really lovely fossils?
Posted by: Adam Cuerden | January 17, 2008 7:38 AM
It was kind of... mesmerizing.
Posted by: Kcanadensis | January 17, 2008 7:53 AM
Lo, for the trilobite is the Holy Trinity, and twice such!
For the trilobite hath Three Lobes, being the left pleural lobe, the axial lobe, and the right pleural lobe. And from this Three-Lobes-In-One does the trilobite receive Its Holy Name.
Lo, but again, the Trilobite is Three-In-One for it is also made of three parts from anterior to posterior. And the Anteriormost is the Holy Cephalon, from which It Seeth, er, see-eth, errr, looketh on all through its Calcitic Eyes, and toucheth all with its antennae. And behind the Holy Cephalon is the Mighty Thorax, and behind that the Pygidium (which is known to the high practitioners also as the "trilobutt").
And lo, for the Holy Trilobite is such that it even reacheth out to the skeptics, for it manifests itself also as the Agnostida, whom the unlearned say looketh as if their cephala and pygidia are the same, yet to the high practitioners there are the clues to show which is which.
May these please the Holy Trilobite, that It doth not grasp me with Its spiky gnathobases nor jab me with Its conterminant hypostome and shove me into its Holy (but wholly lacking in jointed mouthparts) Mouth.
In the name of the Holaspid, the Protaspid, and the Holy Meraspid, Amen.
Posted by: Thomas R. Holtz, Jr. | January 17, 2008 8:38 AM
For you True Trilobitists, make your own:
http://www.c-able.ne.jp/~sve47288/trimake/index.html
Posted by: True Bob | January 17, 2008 8:47 AM
And for you evil lowlife Sea Scorpion worshipping heretic scumbags:
http://www.c-able.ne.jp/~sve47288/seasco/index.html
Posted by: True Bob | January 17, 2008 8:50 AM
Yea, brother. Have you been touched by his biramous appendage?
Posted by: noncarborundum | January 17, 2008 9:34 AM
One of the Trilobite's predators was the Cephalopod ... just sayin'
Posted by: Sman | January 17, 2008 10:39 AM
Holtz for Trilobite Pope!
For they are verily three (3)--three lobes in One!
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | January 17, 2008 12:47 PM
#17 "Cave bear cults"
Where does one apply?
Posted by: F.Caccin | January 17, 2008 1:04 PM
You know, I think this is a religion I could really get into! Perhaps my cafepress store could cloth the priesthood of the Trilobite?
*fires up Photoshop*
Trilobite Clothing
www.cafepress.com/trilobite
Posted by: Trilobite Clothing | January 17, 2008 3:30 PM