…and this is a 
Even in death, he sets an example for us all
Category: Godlessness
Posted on: March 19, 2008 10:54 AM, by PZ Myers
For everyone who complained that I didn't say anything nice about Arthur C. Clarke in yesterday's very brief note (I can't help it, I don't believe in burying my opinions along with the corpse), here's some information that made my opinion of Clarke shoot up a couple more notches:
The famed science fiction writer, who once denigrated religion as "a necessary evil in the childhood of our particular species," left written instructions that his funeral be completely secular, according to his aides.
"Absolutely no religious rites of any kind, relating to any religious faith, should be associated with my funeral," he wrote.
I'd say the same thing about my funeral, with the added stipulation that if anyone tries to preach, at word one I want my friends and family to rise up and carry the jerk bodily out the door, and throw him or her into the street.
Comments
I'm going to be a total stickler about the music. Seriously, I don't want anyone playing "Amazing Grace" or some s**t like that. Then again, I'm hoping I just won't die in the first place. Come on, technology!
Posted by: DaveX | March 19, 2008 11:01 AM
Madalyn Murray O'Hair left specific instructions against
any religious bullshit at her funeral; she did not want
any christian present for fear "they might shove a crucifix
up my ass". We will surely spare you the indignity of this
fiasco!
Posted by: Holbach | March 19, 2008 11:06 AM
2nd that, DaveX.
Posted by: Jason Failes | March 19, 2008 11:07 AM
That's surprising, considering the end of the (terrible) Rama series. Maybe it's possible to get over crazy sci-fi writer syndrome?
(if so, I hope Larry Niven/Orson Scott Card can repent)
Posted by: as | March 19, 2008 11:12 AM
You know, this brought to mind something said by Kurt Vonnegut:
"Now at a memorial service for Isaac Asimov a few years ago on the West Coast I spoke, and I said, 'Isaac is in heaven now,' to a crowd of humanists. It was quite awhile before order could be restored. Humanists were rolling in the aisles. Should I, God forbid, pass on some time, I hope that some of you will say that Kurt is up in heaven now."
Do you really NOT want someone to say at your funeral: "PZ is in heaven now?"
Posted by: Matt | March 19, 2008 11:15 AM
"I'd say the same thing about my funeral..."
Good grief, why have a funeral at all? A dead human body is no different from a dead cockroach. Just dispose of the stinking corpse and be done with it. Funerals are for god-soaked weirdos. Why waste time and money on a dead animal?
Posted by: BobC | March 19, 2008 11:19 AM
The best send off would be Hunter S. Thompsons's firing his ashes out of a 150 foot tall cannon, accompanied by red white and blue fireworks and "Mr. Tambourine Man" over a loudspeaker.
Posted by: Matt | March 19, 2008 11:19 AM
So I apologize for being off-topic here. PZ, I just came across this. I think it might be relevant to you. It's quite alarming. Sit down before reading.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/18/science/18beer.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
Thank goodness I'm not a scientist. I could never give up my beer.
Posted by: Alex | March 19, 2008 11:19 AM
HELL YES PZ!!!! I want one of those biodegradable coffins and have a tree planted on top of it. This is the real way to be reincarnated!
Posted by: An | March 19, 2008 11:21 AM
"Why waste time and money on a dead animal?"
Umm...compassion, closure, social ceremony, grieving process, the wake (free food and alcohol).
So does the corpse need to be present? No. But a farewell ceremony is certainly a healthy thing for those left behind and probably not considered a waste of time or money by them.
Posted by: Alex | March 19, 2008 11:26 AM
My husband argues that the truly atheist, materialist approach is not to care - since you'll be dead. Funerals truly are for the survivors, to help them transition and cope. Nevertheless, I still like the idea of a secular funeral. I've purchased a transcript of a piece by Aaron Freeman that I heard on NPR, to have on hand for my funeral. Here's how it starts:
Posted by: Cogito | March 19, 2008 11:28 AM
I have left instructions that my funeral will open with a string quartet playing "Ave Maria" as the only paen to the religious members of my family. After that's over, they tap a keg and turn up the volume on "Bastards on Parade" by the Dropkick Murphy's.
You are all welcome..
Posted by: Mike Haubrich, FCD | March 19, 2008 11:32 AM
"Should I, God forbid, pass on some time, I hope that some of you will say that Kurt is up in heaven now."
Does anyone know if that wish was fulfilled for Mr. Vonnegut?
Posted by: Rey Fox | March 19, 2008 11:34 AM
I agree wholeheartedly. Although I also agree with Alex; your views are not incompatible. In a comment at the Friendly ATheist's blog I wrote the following:
Well, I've already decided that when I die I want to donate my organs; anything that some doctor can get some use out of can be taken, even if they only use it to feed the lab rats they test medicines on. I won't care one way or the other, since I'll be dead, and it will help other people more than having my body rot in the ground (or worse, be embalmed, at a huge expense, so that it does not rot).
I also don't want expensive funeral services, ostentatious flower displays, or anything else that may incur expense, except inasmuch as doing that would make my loved ones feel better. After all, I certainly won't notice any of it, so why should they bother?
Posted by: Valhar2000 | March 19, 2008 11:36 AM
Funerals are for those who are left to grieve, not for the deceased. Sure, I'd prefer it if everyone could accept death for what it is, but not everyone can. If having religious elements at my funeral would help those who can't cope, then I'd have no problem with it because, well, I'll be dead.
Posted by: Steve Sutton | March 19, 2008 11:43 AM
My mother wanted to return to the earth, but at the time it was mandated that people be buried in cement coffins to avoid contaminating the water supply, so she chose cremation as the closest she could get.
Personally, I'm hoping that by the time I die there will be lagoons or sandbeds where we can be gently deposited to have the best chance of being fossilized.
Posted by: Monado, FCD | March 19, 2008 11:47 AM
I don't want to be dead; there's no future in it.
Posted by: Holbach | March 19, 2008 11:48 AM
I also told my family no religion, and to throw my body in the nearest anarobic bog so it could be discovered and studied in a few tens of thousands of years.
Posted by: Dennis | March 19, 2008 11:52 AM
This is off topic, but I can't help but think clarke would have appreciated this. : - )
Posted by: RamblinDude | March 19, 2008 11:54 AM
Funerals aren't really for the deceased, despite what some godbots claim. Funerals are for those still alive.
I'm setting aside enough money to cover the expenses of cremation and a wake. That covers the responsibility I feel for the disposal of the corpse and consideration of family and friends. Beyond that, I really don't care what is done with/to my corpse.
Posted by: John Marley | March 19, 2008 11:58 AM
Wait a minute we have to die??? Are you all telling me science will not figure out how to turn off aging? I will also settle for living longer than the mythical oldest person in bible(any religious text will do), or some kind of cellular regeneration like Dr. Who...
Don't tell me this is just fantasy, lets make it a reality!
Posted by: Thethyme | March 19, 2008 11:59 AM
"I plan to live forever. So far, so good."
Steven Wright
Posted by: idahogie | March 19, 2008 12:01 PM
i've always wanted to be a cadaver when i grow up and die
Posted by: buck | March 19, 2008 12:02 PM
"Why waste time and money on a dead animal?"
This "are we just animals?" thing seems to be a favourite of fundies of all kinds. By saying this, they seem to imply that animals are not worthy or respect. My beloved cat was buried with all the respect she deserves. But really I wouldn't like to be a pet in a born-again-Christian home.
(and much less a child!)
Posted by: Christophe Thill | March 19, 2008 12:03 PM
I'd always thought I could consider my life well-lived if there were a riot at my funeral. Y'know, scores of police barely holding back the Brownie haters as my widow(s) throw themselves on my casket just to be close to me one last time. Finally, a rock is thrown, and the miles-long procession erupts into chaos. Tear gas will be my incense, and screamed slogans will be my hymns.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | March 19, 2008 12:03 PM
Thethyme @ 21, visit Kurzweilai.net. Pretty interesting information regarding your concerns. There's a lot to go through though. But even when we are able to defeat the deterioration of our biology, would you want to, for how long, and who gets to? There's quite a bit to consider and work out.
Posted by: Alex | March 19, 2008 12:07 PM
The lovely bride and I told the baptist minister presiding over our wedding that we wanted zero religious over or undertones to our ceremony. He was nice enough to oblige although he was a bit confused why we had him doing it, at first. He's a good friend of my now deceased grandfather, who was an atheist as well and who presided over my grandfather's funeral. He's a very open minded guy and went through with it with no mention of anything religious. My grandfather who was a deep thinker but not without a sense of humor wrote out his entire funeral to make sure there was no god bothering going on. He did however throw in this one tid bit. He had his minister friend read this statement near the end of the funeral.
I see my funeral being equally "fairy-taleless".
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | March 19, 2008 12:12 PM
I always wanted my body to be donated to science/medicine. but now I want to steal Monado's idea and be fossilized. It still counts if the scientists are a few million years in the future, right?
Sadly, my boyfriend tells me I don't get to choose either of those (or check organ donor on my liscense). If he has his way, I'm going to end up mummified and on display in his living room. Canopic jars and all.
But really, who cares, it's not for me, it's for those who survive me. Even if those people happen to be strange...
Posted by: sublunary | March 19, 2008 12:14 PM
Here lies the atheist all dressed with no place to go.
Can anything be more realistic to us?
Posted by: Holbach | March 19, 2008 12:14 PM
Yeah no need to remember loved ones. Fuck 'em.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | March 19, 2008 12:16 PM
What? I have a radically naturalistic worldview and this strikes me as extraordinarily insensitive and, well, completely wrong-headed.
First, a secular memorial service has little to do with the kind of hoo-hah involved in religious funerals. The biggest difference: the focus of the former is not on the death and promised eternal life of the deceased, but on a celebration of his or her life. Second, often that life really is worth celebrating. Humans tend to touch the lives of those around them in a more meaningful way than, for example, a cockroach might do. That warrants, I think, some more post-mortem consideration than dumping the "stinking corpse".
Posted by: Avekid | March 19, 2008 12:17 PM
I think of an atheist funeral as a marvelous occasion for making a statement--to other atheists, and to religious believers. The courageous and even cheery way that David Hume faced his death, without any belief in an afterlife, shook up some of his religious friends. I hope that I can have a similar effect. My funeral instructions are set. I have string quartet versions of two Bad Religion songs ("Sorrow" and "Struck a Nerve"--words to be included in program) to start and end the thing. Songs by Rush ("Bravado") and Flaming Lips ("Do Your Realize??"). A reading of a couple of Larkin poems (e.g., Aubade), and sections from Pullman and Dawkins. Does that not say something important about godlessness? I hope that it does. Not too soon, of course. But someday.
Posted by: Greg Peterson | March 19, 2008 12:23 PM
Alex@26:
Yes, for as long as we can, and everyone. I don't mind if I have to be paused for as long as it takes to largely defeat scarcity.
Posted by: MRL | March 19, 2008 12:35 PM
# 27 Doesn't the presence of a baptist minister negate
the wish to have no religious overtone or undertone in the
ceremony? Huh? You could have gone to the city hall and
been married by the mayor or any civil official. You just
cancelled out any non religious crap. Beats me, this type
of reasoning.
Posted by: Holbach | March 19, 2008 12:36 PM
It would be nice if someone did this at my funeral (for real).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge0dZ5aQbOk
Posted by: marcia | March 19, 2008 12:47 PM
Larry Niven? I know about OSC, but what does Niven have to repent of on this score? I'm a fan of his work, but not especially familiar with his private life (beyond book-jacket bios). Did I miss a memo?
Posted by: Bill Dauphin | March 19, 2008 12:52 PM
If there's interest, this summer I'll look for that marvellous freethinker's memorial I found on a gravestone in the Niagara Peninsula several years ago and transcribe it to Pharyngula, maybe on an open thread.
Posted by: Monado, FCD | March 19, 2008 12:52 PM
Trust fund or some other financial intrument to pay for an evening at a bar or nightclub for my survivors. And a funeral procession like this:
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0847972320080208
Fireworks and cannon a la Hunter S. Thompson optional.
Ditto #12 on the Dropkick Murphys - theirs will be the only version of "Amazing Grace" allowed!
Posted by: WRMartin | March 19, 2008 12:54 PM
(Back from making 3-egg frittata.)
Niven floated the idea of "returning to the happy nothing" in his book Isle of the Dead.
Posted by: Monado, FCD | March 19, 2008 12:56 PM
as (#4):
Most of the last three Rama books were actually the work of Clarke's collaborator, Gentry Lee.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | March 19, 2008 12:59 PM
We ended up having a vicar at my mother's funeral. Mainly because neither of us had and particular idea about what to do.
Posted by: Sili | March 19, 2008 1:03 PM
I thought I'd read pretty much his entire ouevre, but I can't recall a book by that title... nor can I find it in his wikipedia bibliography. Perhaps you're thinking of Roger Zelazny?
Posted by: Bill Dauphin | March 19, 2008 1:05 PM
Well actually I am pretty much resigned to the fact that the fundie part of my family cannot be stopped from holding Requiems for me, praying for my immortal soul etc. I only ask that my immediate family ensure the actual farewell ceremony at the crematorium be secular. Oh and I want to go into the flames to the soaring strains of Dave Gilmour's guitar at the end of Comfortably Numb.
Posted by: Peter Ashby | March 19, 2008 1:10 PM
I would like to have an open house autopsy as my funeral. Everybody can come along and see what made me tick.
Posted by: poke | March 19, 2008 1:13 PM
I, too, have a "no religion at my funeral" instruction in my will. I may not be around to notice, but I don't want anyone using the opportunity of my death to promote superstitious beliefs I didn't have in life.
Posted by: Ipecac | March 19, 2008 1:13 PM
I want to be buried in the sea. That way as my body decomposes it can be used as fuel for a chemosynthetic ecosystem.
Someone's got to keep those whalefall communities alive once all the whales are gone...
Posted by: Angus Beefheart | March 19, 2008 1:16 PM
It sounds like the minister was a personal friend, Holbach, which is entirely understandable.
Posted by: Chris R. | March 19, 2008 1:23 PM
Bill Dauphin:
From what I've seen, both Niven and his sidekick Pournelle are pretty serious wingnuts. I debated Niven at a scifi conference once; the topic was whether SDI was a good thing because it might function as a "stepping-stone to space." A personable enough guy, but pretty right-wing. I don't know about his susceptibility to woo.
Posted by: Epikt | March 19, 2008 1:27 PM
I want my corpse disposed of in an ecologically sound way (no embalming, no metal coffin) but other than that cheap, cheap, cheap - so the money can be spent on the wake instead! :)
Oh, and my younger brother's in charge of the music, except that the list must include Monty Python's "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" from their film Life Of Brian. (The B in BT stands for Brian.)
Posted by: BT Murtagh | March 19, 2008 1:27 PM
Alex @ 8:
Just wait till I tell all my geologist friends... :-)
Posted by: Beth B. | March 19, 2008 1:28 PM
Well I want to be at my funeral, freeze dried and seated, holding the keg. Otherwise, I will insist that all the music be MY kind of music, which should alienate anyone not repulsed by a corpse for a keg cooler.
Posted by: True Bob | March 19, 2008 1:32 PM
I'm actually going to post this in a few places, so forgive me if you see this more than once.
I think, rather than talk about the impact that Clarke had on the world or myself, which is substantial, I'll let Clarke speak for himself. Here's a link to a video that Clarke released just weeks ago on the occasion of his 90th birthday. Enjoy.
Posted by: Scott Hatfield, OM | March 19, 2008 1:42 PM
Posted by: Emmet Caulfield | March 19, 2008 1:44 PM
Best eulogy ever was this one for Graham Chapman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JuJMDrj2M8
Can you imagine how unseemly the alternative--lots of solemn weepy crap--would have been at the funeral of a Python? Fantastic. I hope John Cleese can come to my funeral.
Posted by: AlanWCan | March 19, 2008 1:53 PM
My own instructions, but Arthur should certainly go to the head of whatever line has formed:
Take the ashes up the first operational Space Elevator and out to the end, beyond the counterweight. Release them over a 24-hour period during an equinox. They will thus be scattered over the entire solar system and rain down gently on Mercury, Venus, Earth and the Moon, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn.
Posted by: Bob Munck | March 19, 2008 1:59 PM
I would consider Eddie Izzard's idea of being flung into a tree, but I don't think my girlfriend would approve. Not after she vetoed "See You Later Alligator" as funerary music. But really, that's the time when everyone could use a good laugh, right?
Posted by: Ted D | March 19, 2008 2:03 PM
I have had that very conversation with my one and only offspring and she has agreed to, make it so.
I added that if it is possible practically and legally I would prefer to just get left in the woods.
Short of that there are natural burial sites in existence in the states and there are groups working to create ones in Ontario and Vancouver.
You can go in the ground as is or wrapped in biodegradale cloth or, well you get the picture.
Posted by: peter garayt | March 19, 2008 2:09 PM
My father passed away a few weeks ago, and he wanted a non-religious service, so we conferred this to the funeral home doing the service. They did a great job on the non-religious service, but completely blew it at the family-only meeting downstairs before the service. The idiot director was holding a conch shell that "god" created and was using it as a prop to explain to explain to the family and especially the younger kids that "god" created you and when your body (shell) wears out, he calls you back to heaven. I have a 12 year old and 4 year old, my 12 year old knows I'm an Atheist but, the 4 year old is too young IMO for me to convey this to. I only work on critical thinking skills with him at this point. But, how dare this asshat try to undermine my wishes and try to proselytize my youngest at my father's NON-religious service. I was completely miffed, I didn't say anything, as the family had enough to deal with, but I kept shooting my mom and my wife the WTF looks, which they both thought was comical. It made me realize that I will have to specify not only a non-religious service, but also that there will also be NO mention of religion at ANY of the pre-events either. I also specified to my wife, at that time, that I want proud Atheist to be included in my obituary regardless of what the newspapers tell her is proper.
Posted by: toddahhhh | March 19, 2008 2:11 PM
Well, the beer thing might be true of biologists -- or maybe just Czech biologists -- but I don't think it holds up too well in geology...
...actually that's kinda worth doing. Someone ought to do that study. Me, I'll be too busy banging on rocks (Hawaii, WOO!) and drinking beer.
Posted by: octopod | March 19, 2008 2:28 PM
Honestly, I don't care how my service is done. I used to care, but then I figured - I'll be gone! If it makes my family feel better to talk about the afterlife, fine by me. The funeral isn't really going to change anything as far as my situation is concerned, but I'd like to minimize their grief if possible.
Posted by: Heather | March 19, 2008 2:31 PM
My mom likes to give instructions for her funeral from time to time, and we just say "It's not up to you. You're not invited."
Posted by: Ann | March 19, 2008 2:33 PM
i think if anyone gets all superstitious at my funeral, i'll just start haunting them as payback.
Posted by: alex | March 19, 2008 2:37 PM
But I wonder how one could be a successful beerologist if the findings in that study hold true. Hmmm.....
Posted by: Alex | March 19, 2008 3:00 PM
Yes, the funerals are for the living -- to remember and honor the dead. Atheists live on only in their legacy, the people and ideas we leave behind. Our lives are not only about ourselves, and what we do can make a difference in the world when we are gone. The future matters to us now.
The idea of having religion included in my funeral "because I won't be there anyway" absolutely appalls me. Trash my legacy? It would also shock me if someone gave a pagan funeral for a deeply devout Catholic because "they're not around to object anymore" -- or gave speeches on the joys of hunting at the funeral of an animal rights activist. The funeral should reflect and respect the values and beliefs of the person you are remembering. It's not an opportunity for the survivors to get even or make a point.
There is both comfort and meaning to be found in the humanist outlook. Secular funerals can be deeply touching and even inspiring. If religious people can only sooth themselves by telling everybody "the person isn't really dead" then they can go somewhere else later on and do it on their own time. It's not as if there are no religious forums for them to go to.
Posted by: Sastra | March 19, 2008 3:03 PM
Yah, perhaps... but I took the comment to which I was responding to be referring to superstitious nonsense, as opposed to political nonsense.
FWIW, having read a good bit of each of their solo work in addition to the Niven/Pournelle collaborations, and having peeked at Pournelle's blog occasionally, it seems very likely to me that virtually all of the militarism found in Niven/Pournelle comes from Pournelle. Pournelle is one of the prototypical examples usually given by anyone discussing the Military SF subgenre; Niven, OTOH, has offered up whole chunks of the Known Space story-space to other writers, specifically because he's not comfortable writing about combat.
As for other aspects of wingnuttery... well, I don't know much about Niven personally, but if his (solo) fiction is any guide, he seems like a fairly open-minded guy on issues of personal behavior (i.e., sex and drugs and rock 'n roll), and no great lover of cops or authoritarian government.
Some of the Niven/Pournelle collaborations (esp. Lucifer's Hammer and Oath of Fealty) contain fairly agonized conflict between liberal inclinations and the exigencies of crisis... which I had always taken as the result of a fruitful tension between the authors' differing outlooks.
Of course, it's always tough to sort out SF authors' personal views based on their work, which is inherently involved with what-if thought experiments. Heinlein is often claimed by right-wing militarists (based on Starship Troopers) and libertarians (based on The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress), but his work also includes favorable portrayals of one-world government (based on the UN, in more than one case) and even one-solar-system government (a British-style constitutional monarchy, no less) not to mention clan-based communalism. OTOH, a major theme of his Future History series is the abject evil of theocracy, which ought to give pause to current-day right wingers who try to claim him as one of their own. And that's not even mentioning his depictions of what my junior high librarian called "far-out sex" (and when she said that, he still hadn't written his farthest-out sexual speculations).
I think SF authors spend so much of their public lives playing with ideas for the fun of it (one of Niven's autobiographical/retrospective collections is called Playgrounds of the Mind) that it's nearly impossible to sort out what they really believe... if there even is any such thing: In his public life, Heinlein was everything from a socialist to a hardcore libertarian, and we still haven't seen an in-depth biography that would tell us anything substantive about his private life.
Not for nothin', but I think most of those guys were sincere in the "steppingstone to space" argument. Pournelle, who was the ringleader of that cabal of pro-SDI SF writers, may have been a true warboy, but I think the others were just following in the time-(dis)honored tradition of leveraging militarism for spaceflight technology development (while maintaining a certain willful blindness to the moral consequences) that goes back to von Braun and his cohorts. Not exactly a stunning endorsement, of course, but I don't think it's quite correct to imagine these guys were all het up to "join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages." They just wanted to get spaceships by any means necessary. Or, at least, so it always seemed to me.
Posted by: Bill Dauphin | March 19, 2008 3:12 PM
If I could figure out a (cheap) way to have my dead body turned into a mechanism for panspermia, then I'd have its component bits launched (economically) in a shotgun at some distant star cluster.
It would tickle me to think that at some time a couple of billion years from now, some aliens evolved from me would be arguing about their own origins.
My instructions as they stand are to be cremated and then buried at the foot of a sapling (redwood preferably). A thimble-full of my ashes will be held for burial at space - if it becomes cheap enough during my heir's lifetime. But only if my trajectory gets me past the heliosphere - otherwise don't bother!
I don't have high hopes for a space burial - but hey, if you don't ask...
Posted by: Calladus | March 19, 2008 3:13 PM
My plans matter to me RIGHT NOW. The argument that I will be gone when I'm dead has no impact on the meaning those plans for me in the present. It is true that I will not know or care if they are carried out once dead, but I can't think of a single reason why I should let that fact deprive me of the interesting experience of trying to plan the kind of funeral that I WOULD find meaningful, WERE I there to "enjoy" it. I count is my one last great swipe at performance art...and perhaps a parting "fuck you" of defiance toward death. At least such a notion has entertainment value for me while I yet live.
Posted by: Greg Peterson | March 19, 2008 3:18 PM
My stated intentions have always been "rifle the carcass for anything useful, and burn the scraps". As for the service or lack thereof, I fear I won't be there.
Posted by: armillary | March 19, 2008 3:20 PM
I have just decided that at my memorial service, Earth, Wind and Fire's "Boogie Wonderland" will be played at HIGH volume, and everyone will be *required* to dance for ten minutes.
Why? Because Boogie Wonderland brings back to me the time of my life when I was freest, free of attachments, free of disease and age-related debilities, free of the cynicism and despair of too much experience. Even now I sometimes play it to lift my spirits, and it still does.
Dance, everybody, dance!
Posted by: Hairhead | March 19, 2008 3:25 PM
I don't have any particular preference for my wake, funeral, or disposal. However, I have designed for myself a solar powered tombstone. The idea is that visitors can ask questions and hit a button to hear my voice randomly give one of several prerecorded short replies. Think Magic 8-Ball.
Hopefully I've got some time before I have to put that plan into action.
Posted by: Abby Normal | March 19, 2008 3:35 PM
PZ, as much as we don't like to think about it, those of us who will be around for your funeral will make sure your wishes will be carried out.
Perhaps you could suggest a suitable dress code for your funeral.
May I suggest:
http://www.boingboing.net/2006/10/31/halloween-lil-baby-s.html
As for a song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgTKfPHxnZ4
Posted by: pradeep | March 19, 2008 3:39 PM
If I die without any NSAIDs on board, I'd like a zoroastrian disposal of my body. I'm sure the carnivorous birds would find me quite yummy. Other than that, I don't much care what people do about my funeral/memorial service/whatever, as long as it makes the survivors happy. Although I must admit that the live forever plan sounds like the best one so far.
Posted by: Dianne | March 19, 2008 3:40 PM
I plan on convincing whoever will inherit my life insurrance to not waste money on burying a dead body in fancy. Be cheap and use the rest for a kickass vacation instead.
Personally though, I won't give a damn since I'll be dead. Just you know... An advice.
Posted by: Michelle | March 19, 2008 3:47 PM
Sweet a beat down at a funeral! Mine will be the same way completely secular and with a rousing party after my service. I always thought that 'Fanfare for the Common Man' By Aaron Copeland would be fitting music. Oh, then cremate me.
Posted by: firemancarl | March 19, 2008 3:50 PM
"I'd say the same thing about my funeral, with the added stipulation that if anyone tries to preach, at word one I want my friends and family to rise up and carry the jerk bodily out the door, and throw him or her into the street."
I vote for having them sacked instead - much more fun! ;)
Posted by: Muffin | March 19, 2008 3:53 PM
back to Clarke...I think the conclusion of Childhood's End--some kind of weird evolutionary leap, who cares, but the best part is that the aliens look just like Satan--is a good sign that Mr. C had suitably unorthodox opinions. I always enjoyed teaching the novel to tenth graders. I got into repeated tangles with fundie kids and parents who were offended by it. The attempts by dimwit Christian pharisees to comment intelligently on literature were an education in rhetoric.
ice
Posted by: ice9 | March 19, 2008 4:17 PM
I would love to donate as much organs as possible to those who need them.. what is left you can grind and use as fertilizer.. no waste at all
Posted by: AAB | March 19, 2008 4:22 PM
I'd say the same thing about my funeral, with the added stipulation that if anyone tries to preach, at word one I want my friends and family to rise up and carry the jerk bodily out the door, and throw him or her into the street.
It won't matter. None of them will exist when you wake up from this dream. But you could wake up to an even worse dream: you'll feel a horrible burning sensation all over, and the sound of irrationality, creationism, and biblical preaching will be all that you can hear. Eventually you'll realize where you've ended up - a hell specifically designed for you, complete with physical torture, and with the mental torture of having to listen to televangelists for all eternity, telling you how wrong you were, and how much better Behe is doing right now. No, I can't say I envy you at all.
Posted by: Dr Hovind | March 19, 2008 4:26 PM
Is this the real Dr. Hovind? Are people in federal prison for tax fraud allowed to spend their time trolling on blogs? Or did they let the little shit out already?
Posted by: phantomreader42 | March 19, 2008 4:34 PM
I like your solar power idea Abby- I was trying to think of some monument more useful than a bench and the only thing I've come up so far it a hand-pumped bidet.
PS: Gentry Lee defiled the RAMA series
Posted by: dNorrisM | March 19, 2008 4:35 PM
I think the comment attributed to Dr. Hovind is satire - but it's really hard to tell the difference between wacky satire and fundamentalist hate.
Posted by: Calladus | March 19, 2008 4:39 PM
Be this Dr Hovind real or unreal, he is a fucktard!
Posted by: Janine, ID | March 19, 2008 4:39 PM
Kudos to that.
I grew so terribly depressed over the charges the funeral home was socking my father with over the death of my mother a few years back (>$10,000!) that I told my oldest daughter as we sat there in the "counseling room" listening to my father getting fleeced; "Just cremate me and be done with it, okay?"
She leaned over and whispered; "Hell, I'll just throw your ass in a dumpster and pocket the money!" Just like in school, that got us to giggling but we just couldn't help it: the absurdity of the whole damn racket, preying upon people at their most vulnerable time is horrible, and then she has to say something like that.
We still laugh about that, a legacy my mother would have been much happier with, rather than the fleecing done to my father.
Posted by: Strakh | March 19, 2008 4:44 PM
There is a way to 'live on after death'. My particular plans are to have my body donated to one of the 'body farms' that use cadavars to document deteriation of unembalmed bodies. Then to have my skeleton donated to the Smithsonian to help bolster it's collection. As a side note, I also have worked on my family geneaology and it gives me sort of a kick to think that at some future date my resting place will be listed as the Smithsonian!
Posted by: Elena | March 19, 2008 4:47 PM
Clarke has been one of my favorite SF authors since I started reading the genre.
On the other hand there is a way to 'live on after death'. My particular plans are to have my body donated to one of the 'body farms' that use cadavars to document deteriation of unembalmed bodies. Then to have my skeleton donated to the Smithsonian to help bolster it's collection. As a side note, I also have worked on my family geneaology and it gives me sort of a kick to think that at some future date my resting place will be listed as the Smithsonian!
Posted by: Elena | March 19, 2008 4:49 PM
As for funeral plans, if I haven't had a chance to fly in space before I pass, I want to be cremated and have my ashes launched on a rocket.
Doesn't have to be a fancy high-dollar in-space "burial," though; the plastic nosecone of an Estes rocket launched by the local NAR section will do just fine.
Posted by: Bill Dauphin | March 19, 2008 4:51 PM
raises a glass to Arthur Clarke's memory.
When I go, I've likewise asked my wife to basically be hostile and basically rude to anyone who pulls any theistic nonsense. I'm probably going to have to have someone else do it, though; she's in favor of it but is not as confrontational as I am.
Posted by: Matt Hayden | March 19, 2008 5:00 PM
Perhaps the worst part of being secular is knowing that idiots like Dr. Hovind won't realize he's wrong after he dies. Still, I think much of their craziness comes from a deep-seated suspicion that they're simply gone when they die. And so they spend their entire life in desperate denial, and don't live one second longer for it. How pathetic.
I don't know what his funeral was like, but purportedly the last words of Oscar Wilde were: "Either that wallpaper goes, or I go."
Posted by: freehand | March 19, 2008 5:08 PM
PZ -- better make sure you proofread those instructions, if you don't want them to "carry the bodily jerkily out the door..."
Posted by: mgarelick | March 19, 2008 5:18 PM