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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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« I get email | Main | Sanctimonious monsters »
RIAA bait
Category: Humor
Posted on: April 17, 2008 2:42 PM, by PZ Myers
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TrackBack URL for this entry: http://scienceblogs.com/mt/pings/69804
Comments
Posted by: Glen Davidson | April 17, 2008 2:48 PM
Why don't you engage the substance of Ben's statements, instead of mocking him?
You know, like how because of Darwinism there's no allowance for questioning why planets orbit as they do, something that has no explanation...
Oh, uh, never mind.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: Jsn | April 17, 2008 2:52 PM
Y'know -like- uh, it's like that Buffy Episode, y'know where -like- everybody was singing 'cuz Zander called on that Broadyway Demon-guy and-uh- like i forgot what i was saying...
Oh yeah, -like- spoofing IDiots in song ROCKS!!!
Posted by: Brad | April 17, 2008 2:53 PM
Pretty much because Ben Stein is such a Big Fucking IDiot.
Posted by: Matt | April 17, 2008 3:17 PM
"You may say Ben Stein's a schemer
But he's not the only one
Many a fool would destroy us
A new Dark Age will have begun
Imagine no progression
Evolution canned
No need for artful discussions
A devaluing of man
Imagine all the children
Burning all the books...
You may say I'm a boomer
And my time will fade away
I hope someday you'll stand up
And keep ignorance at bay."
Those lyrics are excellent. Someone should mail them to Stein. You hear that, Ben? You fucking lunatic?
Posted by: Robster, FCD | April 17, 2008 3:20 PM
PeeeeZeeeee. PEEEEEEZEEEEEEE! PEEEEEZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
bangs head
Posted by: caerbannog | April 17, 2008 3:21 PM
A Rottentomato.com comparison:
Howard the Duck: 19%
Ishtar: 19%
Showgirls: 14%
The Robot Monster (directed by Ed Wood): 27%
..and... drum-roll......
Expelled: 9%!
Congratulations are in order all around!!
Posted by: Glen Davidson | April 17, 2008 3:27 PM
Somewhat OT, but definitely related to the topic, here's a pretty good analysis of the contrarian, denialist tendencies of the IDiots, as well as a host of other conspiracies and pseudosciences:
http://www.slate.com/id/2189178/entry/0/
Glen D
Posted by: HP | April 17, 2008 3:27 PM
Cheer up, selfish gene,
Oh what can it mean,
To an ID believer
And an old drama queen?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | April 17, 2008 3:32 PM
One of the more religious types I work with (and there are many) just came in all excited about the commercial he saw on Comedy Central for Expelled. All I could do was laugh. He caught me after reading the lyrics linked to above.
Oh well.
Posted by: Chris Petroni | April 17, 2008 3:32 PM
"Cheer up, selfish gene,
Oh what can it mean,
To an ID believer
And an old drama queen?"
Awesome! More please!
Posted by: bron | April 17, 2008 3:33 PM
Ben Stein
Ben Stein's pimpf'n fine!
Posted by: bron | April 17, 2008 3:36 PM
Hmmm... previous url was mangled. Try this one:
Pimpfn
Posted by: AlanWCan | April 17, 2008 3:45 PM
You know, I actually heard a xtian mangling of Imagine on some fundie radio channel (the guys remodelling our house listen to some xtian radio station Oy!), where they replaced the lyrics with "Imagine one religion" and I think something like "hell below us/above us only god"
It was more nauseating than most of the self-congratulatory pablum they play on there. I'll be glad when they're done (and yes I'm well aware of the whole xtian carpenters thing, isn't that funny. Maybe I should get a few crucifixes installed for good measure?)
Posted by: Carlie | April 17, 2008 3:45 PM
I will never be able to listen to Bohemian Rhapsody the same way again.
Posted by: tceisele | April 17, 2008 3:51 PM
#6: "Robot Monster" is certainly a horrible excuse for a movie, but it isn't an Ed Wood - it was directed by Phil Tucker, and written by Wyott Ordung. If anything, it's ever so slightly *worse* than the stuff Ed Wood wrote and directed.
Posted by: Forrest Prince | April 17, 2008 4:04 PM
Somewhere
Out in the movies
Stein's a boob
He's being exposed and expelled
Maybe this time for good.
(Sincerest apologies to Judy Garland)
Posted by: tintin | April 17, 2008 4:05 PM
OT, and apologies if I've missed the post, but where oh where has the God of Biscuits' Gospel gone?
Posted by: Amanda | April 17, 2008 4:07 PM
"Imagine all the country
Dumber than a post..."
This had me laughing out loud...in my office.
Posted by: Emmet Caulfield | April 17, 2008 4:16 PM
But Intelligent Design explains why the planets don't just fall down (@~2:40).Posted by: Jonathan | April 17, 2008 4:17 PM
Oh, great. YECs versus the MAFIAA. One group of greedy, hard-right cretins against another.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Posted by: Ativan | April 17, 2008 4:20 PM
Got a charge out of this, on the "Expelled" website: "It's (EXPELLED) going to appeal strongly to the religious, the paranoid, the conspiracy theorists, and the ignorant -- which means they're going to draw in about 90% of the American market."
-Atheist blogger and fabulist PZ Myers, on a film he has not yet seen.
Definition of chutzpah: blocking a person from seeing a movie, then criticizing him for not seeing it.
Posted by: hmc | April 17, 2008 4:22 PM
Bob Jones U. jokes always make me laugh.
Posted by: Rich | April 17, 2008 4:23 PM
Look at me, I'm Billy D
Expert on complexity
But you all laugh
'cause I can't do the math...
I can't, I'm Billy D!
PS KRISTINE IS A WITCH.
Posted by: Alex | April 17, 2008 4:24 PM
#1 Glen,
With regards to the planetary orbits...
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512
Come on. Now I know we must all know this to be true. Geesh.
Posted by: Mavaddat | April 17, 2008 4:24 PM
Glen Davidson writes,
Glen, engaging Ben Stein's "arguments" requires mocking him. If these were the arguments of a child or mentally incapable person, they would demand serious response. But they're not. And as such, they require our laughter.Posted by: mjs | April 17, 2008 4:27 PM
Ooh! I am everyone! Tat tvam asi!
++++
Posted by: Martin | April 17, 2008 4:33 PM
Where's Cuttlefish in all this?
Posted by: MikeM | April 17, 2008 4:39 PM
Well, they're better than mine were. OTOH, mine took 10 seconds to "compose."
Yup, and I'm such a trendsetter, too.
As a public service, I'll let you try to find the one I wrote. No URL. Like telling people, "You won't believe what I read on Town Hall. Nope, I'm not giving you the URL. In fact, I have to go wash my eyes out with soap now."
Posted by: Glen Davidson | April 17, 2008 4:52 PM
Um, you know I was joking (at least by now), don't you Mavaddat?
Moving on, this seems to meet the ethical specifications of the Expelled sleazeballs:
It's in the Bible, you reap what you sow, Ruloff, Stein, Mathis, and Miller.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: Mavaddat | April 17, 2008 5:19 PM
Sorry, I'm new here.Posted by: Glen Davidson | April 17, 2008 5:24 PM
Is perfectly all right.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: karen | April 17, 2008 5:33 PM
Both sets of revised lyrics ROCK! Love the homage to Peezee, peeeeeeeZEEEEEEEEEEE!
Posted by: Elyse | April 17, 2008 5:34 PM
Peeeeeee Zeeeeeeeee
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeee Zeeeeeeeeeeeeee
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | April 17, 2008 5:37 PM
For you, Martin@#27--
I am the very model of a devious creationist
I've made a film that's best described as stolen-animationist
I know the use of rhetoric when facts are unavailable
To render the impossible into the unassailable
I'm very well acquainted, too, with data manufacturing
I'll claim I stand on solid granite even as it's fracturing
I document complexity, like when it's irreducible...
And think my movie's in the league of Arthur Miller's Crucible
And think my movie's in the league of Arthur Miller's Crucible
And think my movie's in the league of Arthur Miller's Crucible
And think my movie's in the league of Arthur Miller's Crucible
I'm very good at lying, both the verbal and statistical--
Like Darwin in his later years, I'm openly theistical
In short, you might describe me as a mental masturbationist
I am the very model of a devious creationist
(that will have to do for now... if I take the time to finish it, we'll be on comment 600... Perhaps I will complete it and put it up on my own site...)
Posted by: Elyse | April 17, 2008 5:38 PM
-Atheist blogger and fabulist PZ Myers, on a film he has not yet seen.
But they didn't forget to thank you in the credits.
(And they forgot to mention that in addition to being an Atheist blogger and "fabulist" that you are a very reputable biologist! Assholes. why-i-oughta!)
Posted by: Damien Trotter aka missus_gumby | April 17, 2008 5:40 PM
Here's one I recently tossed-off in the Caribbean:
The Atheist Stonecutters Song.
Who puts the thorns in Jesus' Crown?
Who keeps the fundy system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Naz'reth off the map?
Who thinks religion's a bunch of crap?
We do! We do!
Who with creationists like to spar?
Who makes Dawkins a global star?
We do! We do!
Who points out the biblical shite?
Who proves that evolution's right?
We do! Weeeee dooooo!
Posted by: rpenner | April 17, 2008 5:43 PM
Does anyone have a URL to that tickets for dollars promotion? I seem to remember it had weasel words that they will exchanges tickets for money as funds allow. So if they didn't allocate funds past the promised $10,000 top-prize then most of the dupes will receive only a no-prize. Indeed, if Yoko Ono, Harvard, XVIVO, etc. sue them into chapter 7, then even the $10,000 may not have to be paid.
We need a recognition signal if we see each other at the movies this weekend. I would proposed carrying a package of shredded squid jerky in honor of PZ, but most theaters crackdown on outside food, and only in Morris and Ipswitch do the movie vendors cater to the squid-friendly.
Posted by: Bill | April 17, 2008 5:48 PM
#37 rpenner -
If you are going to the movies this weekend, I'd recommend carrying flyers that say: "Ben Stein Lies www.expelledexposed.com".
That should make it easy to recognize each other.
Cuttlefish - You! Are! AWESOME!
Posted by: Eric | April 17, 2008 5:52 PM
My google adwords campaign recently ran out of money and I've decided against adding any more funds. Hopefully at least one person googling for 'expelled' (or any of the other terms listed below [see image]) saw the teaser for the ExpelledExposed.com site, clicked on it and got the full story.
http://img508.imageshack.us/my.php?image=expelledexposedgoogleadwk4.jpg
* I'm not affiliated with NCSE.org or the ExpelledExposed.com site, I just thought I'd donate some free advertising their way.
Posted by: MikeM | April 17, 2008 5:54 PM
Cuttlefish, I recognize that tune.
Tom Lehrer's "Elements".
Right?
You... you... Plagiarist!
(Someone had to do it.)
Posted by: Eric | April 17, 2008 5:57 PM
ps. For a while, the ad for ExpelledExposed.com was sitting up there at the number one sponsored position (listed before the search results and highlighted in yellow) when you searched for 'expelled' at google.com. It was even listed before the ExpelledTheMovie.com website. I thought that was pretty funny. :)
* I have no idea how google adwords chooses the positioning for it's ads. It seemed to choose random CPC (cost per click) values and ad positions. It's sort of like playing the slot machines...
Posted by: Metro | April 17, 2008 5:59 PM
Actually, that's the "Modern Major-General" from Gilbert & Sullivan's "HMS Pinafore".
Cuttlefish--I was so inspired I had to go out and write one too, to the tune of "Hotel California" Here's part of it:
Ben Stein was explaining
Why prof Gene took a dive
What he took 90 minutes to say
He could have told us in five
And still teh crazy it burns all across the land
Doesn't bother the DI folks though
Sure they're feeling grand
Welcome to Expelled (from Acadamia)
Yeah it's got Ben Stein
And his monowhine
Yes we're oh-so-fair in Expelled (from Acadamia)
Why just look at who's
In our interviews
The whole thing's at my place, but don't waste your time--visit Da Cuttlefish.
Posted by: Hairy Doctor Professor | April 17, 2008 6:08 PM
Cuttlefish: (that will have to do for now... if I take the time to finish it, we'll be on comment 600... Perhaps I will complete it and put it up on my own site...)
Oh, yes, please (pathetic whine).
Posted by: Elwood Herring | April 17, 2008 6:14 PM
Please - no more! I'm in serious danger of contracting Pharyngulitis - or becoming a Pharyngulaholic, or something. I've heard there are some other web pages on the Internet somewhere, but I just can't seem to drag myself away from here...
MikeM - go and stand in the corner! Cuttlefish (and Tom Lehrer's Elements) are both parodies of "I am the very model of a modern Major General" from Gilbert & Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance (No, not Pinafore either). Cuttlefish - you HAVE to finish that, it's brilliant.
I might even have a go at doing a Jabberwocky version!
Posted by: Martin | April 17, 2008 6:19 PM
Cuttlefish, I believe you need your own fan club.
Posted by: Carlie | April 17, 2008 7:00 PM
OT, and apologies if I've missed the post, but where oh where has the God of Biscuits' Gospel gone?
Oh no! Hopefully it's that he's focusing on his dissertation for awhile. :(
Posted by: MikeM | April 17, 2008 7:19 PM
D'oh, you're right.
Corner. Standing. Can I come out now?
(But can't you picture Stein? "Hah! And they call us plagiarists? He didn't even try to disguise it!")
He'd say it without the "Hah!" though. That spoils the monotonous flow.
Posted by: MikeM | April 17, 2008 7:22 PM
By the way, Edward Douglas's review is absolutely idiotic.
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/reviewsnews.php?id=44147
You can respond to his comments there.
Posted by: Longtime Lurker | April 17, 2008 8:21 PM
We're all living in Cuttle's world now!
Posted by: Elwood Herring | April 17, 2008 8:27 PM
Good grief, I can't believe that I'm only the second person ever to use the word pharyngulitis according to google!
Posted by: Elwood Herring | April 17, 2008 8:30 PM
Well, second and third now, obviously...
Posted by: Katrina | April 18, 2008 7:38 AM
Has anyone checked to see if EMI and George Thorogood have given their permission for "Bad to the Bone"? I'm starting to wonder.
Posted by: Laura Quilter | April 18, 2008 11:42 AM
When I copy and they tell me "desist",
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I get caught in a lie,
Goin' up to designers in the sky
Goin' up to designers in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I lie
When I lie and they tell me desist
Gonna go to the place that's the best
DJ actions might come a bust
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you lie
He's gonna recommend you
To designers in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To designers in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you lie
Steal in God's name but they tell you desist
You're gonna go to the place that's the best
I sorta copied and I maybe infringed
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I lie
He's gonna set me up with
Designers in the sky
Oh set me up with designers in the sky
They'll protect me when I lie
Texas judges might not let me rest
But Designers will protect me the best
Gonna go to the place that's the best.
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | April 18, 2008 12:02 PM
Ok, it is done!
Can I have my brain back now?
It needs a stiff drink
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-am-very-model-of-devious-creationist.html
Posted by: sublunary | April 18, 2008 12:11 PM
[Insert awestruck applause for Cuttlefish here. Damn.]
Posted by: Hairy Doctor Professor | April 18, 2008 2:30 PM
Cuttlefish: your tip-jar is what will induce me to finally set up a PayPal account, and I will visit it before too much longer. I encourage other readers herein to do likewise. You've earned it many times over. (A bow of deep respect.)
Take care of that headache, for you know all too well that you will be called upon again for your insights in times of need, as we once needed Gary Larson (and still do).