…and this is a 
You have my sympathies, Birmingham
Category: Kooks • Religion
Posted on: April 26, 2008 9:16 AM, by PZ Myers
Birmingham, Alabama apparently has a serious crime problem. That's bad news, but to compound it all, they've got a mayor who is a fecking idjit. Mayor Larry Langford has a plan to deal with crime.
At Tuesday’s Birmingham City Council meeting, Mayor Larry Langford proclaimed Friday, April 25, a “day of prayer in sackcloth and ashes” in Birmingham.
Birmingham Weekly reported two weeks ago that the mayor purchased 2,000 burlap sacks for ministers and other community leaders to wear at a Plan 10/30 summit.
To many Christians, sackcloth and ashes symbolize humility and repentance, but the mayor’s decree came dressed with the usual accoutrements - printed on fine, invitation-stock paper and wrapped in a bright silver folder, adorned by the magic hat logo Langford commissioned for the city last year.
In the decree, Langford said that Birmingham’s crime problem “pails” (sic) in comparison to the biblical City of Nineveh.
The proclamation tells the Bible story of Jonah and the city of Nineveh: “Whereas Chapter 3, verse 5 & 6, of the Book of Jonah, Old Testament states, that the people of Nineveh believe God and proclaimed a fast and put on sackcloth from the greatest of them even to the least of them,” the resolution reads.
In the proclamation, the mayor puts himself parallel with the King of Nineveh (Jonah 3:7) who, wearing sackcloth and ashes, joined his citizens in prayer.
Langford said last week that “the Constitution of the United States calls for a separation of church and state - it never said anything about a separation of church from state.” He did not mention the Constitution at today’s city council meeting, although he blasted any potential critics who question his piety in public office.
“I could care less what they write about it or say about it,” Langford said. “Because let there be no misunderstanding, just like Satan is at work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days, God is too.”
The mayor’s proclamation urged all “Bishops, Priests, Pastors, Ministers,” and other religious citizens to join him in prayer at the Plan 10/30 summit, which will take place at Boutwell Auditorium this Friday, April 25, at 6 p.m.
Well, it happened last night, and there is video, if you want to see a bunch of ridiculous people preening in burlap bags and praising Jesus. It's horrifying — not so much because it's like a tent-revival meeting, which happens all the time, but because these are the leaders of a city who have a practical, secular job to do, and they are instead substituting this pointless, worthless, preachy, sanctimonious shit for practical work.
Maybe I shouldn't be too sympathetic to Birmingham, though. The soundtrack to the video is the mob hooting and howling their praises for this man and his holy administration. Maybe Birmingham has the ineffective fraud they deserve.
Comments
Sackcloth and ashes? From a mayor who thinks that will actually solve a crime problem.
I wonder what the mayor would do if there were a penis-theft wave.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | April 26, 2008 9:23 AM
Its team building, honest. Nothing to worry about - until they start stomping on live chickens. Mind you, the sackcloth and ashes is a step down that road.
Posted by: DiscoveredJoys | April 26, 2008 9:25 AM
Fecking idjit/eedjit? PZ, you haven't been watching Father Ted, have you? If so, congratulations!
Posted by: catta | April 26, 2008 9:29 AM
Why not just invite the Cat in the Hat?
Posted by: Sioux Laris | April 26, 2008 9:31 AM
In keeping with the engraved invitations, I presume the mayor's personal participation in this public act of self-abasement and subjection to God's law will entail a custom-tailored sackcloth suit and finely-sifted ashed applied by a professional cosmetologist. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!
Posted by: Zeno | April 26, 2008 9:32 AM
Did you notice that the Old Testament prescription calls for a fast plus sackcloth and prayer? What happened to the fasting part? There's no mention anyone's fasting, or suffering any deprivation or discomfort to prove their piety.
These idiots can't even pretend to play their little rituals straight.
____________________________________________
Posted by: Aris | April 26, 2008 9:32 AM
i think if this happened in Birmingham, England, the guy would be laughed out of office.
Posted by: alex | April 26, 2008 9:33 AM
Old Testament stuff, is he Jewish?
Posted by: Bob | April 26, 2008 9:33 AM
I heard he was going to get the sack but this isn't what I had in mind. What a muppet! Only in the United States of Jesus... ;)
Posted by: MS | April 26, 2008 9:34 AM
I'm too godly for my town too godly for my town
Town's going to hate me
I'm too godly for my shirt too godly for my shirt
So godly it hurts
And I'm too godly for Bama too godly for Bama
New York and Japan
And I'm too godly for your party
Too godly for your party
No way I'm crime enhancin'
Posted by: freelunch | April 26, 2008 9:34 AM
Sad.
Posted by: Tim Fuller | April 26, 2008 9:42 AM
What fucking planet am I on?...
Jeezus...
Posted by: Bob | April 26, 2008 9:44 AM
My favorite part of the article is this direct quote from the Mayor: "the Constitution of the United States calls for a separation of church and state - it never said anything about a separation of church from state."
I never understood that distinction before - thanks for clearning that up Mayor!
Posted by: ThereIsNoGoBut...YepNoGod | April 26, 2008 9:44 AM
Drats, they're wearing the sacks like a vest. And I was all excited for some stylish Sackhead Jason antics. Live and learn, I guess.
Posted by: deanbcurtis | April 26, 2008 9:48 AM
Have I just woken up back in BCE?. Quick, someone pleease reassure me that this is still the 21st. Century.
Posted by: John Phillips, FCD | April 26, 2008 9:51 AM
I'm pretty sure Joshua the Carpenter's Son admonished people against gaudy public displays of piety; then again, I read that book as a book, not as the infallible Truth. Perhaps I misunderstood that part.
Posted by: Jeph | April 26, 2008 9:59 AM
Now, I have an actual reason not to go to Birmingham. I can just tell folks that I fear I may be harshly persecuted for my lack of belief.
Posted by: Dan | April 26, 2008 10:01 AM
Is this the same group that prayed for rain a while ago ?
How long did that take to work ?
Posted by: Britomart | April 26, 2008 10:04 AM
Sheesh. The sackcloth is supposed to be worn next to the skin - to make it break out, maybe even bleed. Suffering, guy! Suffering!
But I like the "magic hat logo" on the invitation.
Posted by: The Ridger | April 26, 2008 10:04 AM
I hope this wasn't paid by taxpayer money (he says it wasn't). Even for the south, this is crazy. Here's a description of it from the local newspaper (which doesn't really say anything bad about it).
Posted by: DrBadger | April 26, 2008 10:09 AM
Any Birminghamer want to start a petition asking for the resignation of this mayor ?
This is just too gross. Shouldn't go unpunished. Not this kind of things. I don't think this is something to laugh about, this is really unacceptable.
Posted by: negentropyeater | April 26, 2008 10:10 AM
Please PZ, not of all us in Birmingham are idiots. Many of us, in fact, are ashamed of what Langford is doing. His policies are pushing the city towards bankruptcy and now he thinks we can pray the murders away.
Posted by: Ooparts | April 26, 2008 10:11 AM
@#18, no that was the governor of Georgia (why does the south live up to its stereotypes?). I'm sure it doesn't really matter how long it took to work, the important part is that they eventually did get rain!
Posted by: DrBadger | April 26, 2008 10:12 AM
Day of prayer with Sackcloth? Feh - they need to have a day of prayer with a douchebag.
Oh wait - they are.
Posted by: craig | April 26, 2008 10:12 AM
I have to admit, whenever I think that I am dealing with hopeless idiots here in Alberta, I need only to look to the USA on any given day of the week and be treated to this depth of delusion to realize that we are still fairly sane up here.
Staggering, simply staggering.
Posted by: sidelined | April 26, 2008 10:14 AM
I like this quote from the local news:
Obviously, the prayer is working.[/sarcasm]
Posted by: Katrina | April 26, 2008 10:14 AM
This time I will remain speechless.
Posted by: Holbach | April 26, 2008 10:14 AM
Doesn't it make you a phony if you're wearing your designer shoes and Rolex watch with your burlap sackcloth and ashes?
Posted by: The Science Pundit | April 26, 2008 10:20 AM
Wow. That's just plain insane. I can't even get past the opening of the decree, in which Birmingham is said to "pail" in comparison to Nineveh, while simultaneously being like Nineveh. Ignoring the misspelling, how can someone state that "A, like B, has a problem with X that pales in comparison to B"? That makes no sense. You could say "A, like B, has a problem with X, but A's problem pales in comparison to B", or you could say "A, like B, has a problem with X that pales in comparison to C", but the way it's constructed now, it says that both A and B have problems with X that pales in comparison to B's problem with X.
Posted by: Desert Rat | April 26, 2008 10:20 AM
I prefer the poisonous snakes. That's what true believers use.
Posted by: Steve Reuland | April 26, 2008 10:22 AM
Having grown up there, I wish I could say I was surprised, but I can't.
Ooparts, thanks for staying and fighting the good fight. You're far stronger than I am.
One of the happiest days in my life was the one where I watched Birmingham getting smaller and smaller in my rear-view mirror.
Posted by: thalarctos | April 26, 2008 10:23 AM
I will be going to Birmingham in the summer for City Stages to see The Flaming Lips. Perhaps that will counteract teh stupid here.
Posted by: Pleco | April 26, 2008 10:24 AM
I will not be satisfied until they are all wearing hair shirts and and mortify the flesh. Come on, Mayor Langford, show us you truly mean it.
Posted by: Janine ID | April 26, 2008 10:24 AM
Perhaps if the sackcloths were hairshirts, and the participants had cilices gouging their marbled fatty thighs? Or perhaps some good old flagellation with razor-tipped crops? What a maroon...
Posted by: raindogzilla | April 26, 2008 10:25 AM
Why not just invite the Cat in the Hat?
They did. He had a scheduling conflict.
Posted by: Jeff | April 26, 2008 10:30 AM
Sackcloth and ashes. Just think of it as a 21st Century toga party -- only itchier.
Posted by: idlemind | April 26, 2008 10:34 AM
From the proclamation:
Pails? Holy cow on a stick.
They really need to keep their eye on the spelling, lest we shall soon witness a "day of playing". Hm, that doesn't sound too bad. Some physical activity would be immensely more productive than talking to yourself.
Posted by: Henwli | April 26, 2008 10:35 AM
#22
I think PZ knows, and I think most people with a brain know, that not all Birminghamers are batshit insane.
Still, he's the mayor. He got elected. He is supposed to represent your city. People talk about him, his policies, etc... And now they know, all over the world (I'm in Spain), about this,and put Birmingham, high on their Dumbass list.
If YOU don't react, and make really a lot of noise, together with all other Birminghamers that are outraged at this, well, you'll stay, on our dumbass list !
If you don't care, that's also fine.
Posted by: negentropyeater | April 26, 2008 10:36 AM
@#23, parts of Georgia "got some rain" within 48 hours of the governor's ritual. Almost an eighth of an inch over here in Athens, if memory serves. In numerical terms, the epoch-making drought continues, but Gov. Sonny has never shown that much interest in arithmetic. I bet he's kicking himself now because he didn't think of accessorizing with sackcloth. That would have produced results!
Posted by: Voracious | April 26, 2008 10:38 AM
Oh, come on
if it was that wicked, God would have reigned down fire and brimstone upon it, and turned some chick into a pillar of salt...
Well, come on, we're waiting!
Posted by: wazza | April 26, 2008 10:38 AM
To Hon. Larry Langford, esq., f-wit:
Dear Mr. Mayor,
We would like to bring to your attention something that we feel is a grave oversight. Your invitation to local church leaders and other pompous asses for your little "burlap swaree" failed to include the local =POPE= of the Temple of Discord.
Now that you have been made aware of this denomination, we trust that future invitations to meaningless ritual gestures will be extended. We are especially interested in any such gatherings that include food or sex. No one could be more at home at a gathering so lacking in understanding of causality as to be utterly worthless. The Temple of Discord fully supports all such lunacy as a means of worship.
There is no need to ask forgiveness of the =POPE= at this time. He was unable to attend being on a mission of mercy. He was otherwise engaged clapping his hands to save Tinkerbell's life.
Sincerely,
Those Who Think You're Too Stupid to Live.
Posted by: breakerslion | April 26, 2008 10:38 AM
Langford is being sued for taking money from charity in favor of a porn star, casinos,etc.
http://www.al.com/news/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1203412513231020.xml&coll=2
Posted by: HadasS | April 26, 2008 10:39 AM
I thought that physical representations of penitence was supposed to be shown by wearing the sack-cloth next to the bare skin. This would then represent poverty and suffering. What I saw, however, was a bunch of sanctimonious gits wearing sack cloth over their fine designer suits and standing on stage while blithely stating tired refrains at a brainwashed jubilant crowd.
No! The mayor should have gotten all naked under his sack-cloth to show true penitence before his almighty god... And then be taken away for indecent exposure.
Posted by: Umlud | April 26, 2008 10:40 AM
The video description at youtube, apparently written by the local newspaper, is less than complimentary and further comments on the hypocrisy of this stupid event:
"As promised, Birmingham Mayor Langford left his Gus Mayer suits at home for a burlap sack. Still he kept on the designer shoes and Rolex watch."
Also, I don't know if anyone else noticed, but not only weren't they wearing the burlap next to their skin, they poured the ashes on a table instead of themselves (god forbid they should get their hair messed up when they spent 2 hours getting pretty for this event that they knew would be filmed). The entire spectacle is moronic and offensive, but they can't even get their own superstitions right. What a bunch of idiots. I hope someone is contacting the ACLU about this breach of the public's trust.
Posted by: Neslock | April 26, 2008 10:45 AM
That reminds me that our last Prime Minister did actually say in public that he thought it would be good to pray for rain. The drought was the worst for a century, and for Australia, that's saying something. He might as well have said that he was fresh out of ideas, and there was no point in listening to him any more.
It was one of the several events that gave the electorate to understand that he'd lost it big-time, and he got the Royal Order of the Arse next election. First PM in seventy years to lose his own seat in the House.
But combating a crime wave by wearing sackcloth? What's wrong with vinyl leotards, a mask and a cape, for pete's sake? Have they no sense of culture?
Posted by: Dave Luckett | April 26, 2008 10:56 AM
#37
I wish I knew what to do. I often hear people make calls to action, but really what can be done? When it comes to elected officials, once they get into office, they stop caring what their constituents say.
Posted by: Ooparts | April 26, 2008 10:59 AM
@#43
On the one hand, I actually like it when ridiculous religious rituals get watered down. For example, I think that many of the traditions associated with Halloween are fun, and I'm sure glad that the more ridiculous and barbaric origins of those traditions have been lost.
However, watching those people pour the ashes while the horn was blaring away didn't invoke any sense of empathy in me. Didn't look like much fun at all.
Posted by: The Science Pundit | April 26, 2008 11:02 AM
The language itself is as painfully stupid as the idea it expresses:
Jebus! The "fourth violent city per capital"? How could this guy have graduated from middle school, much less high school?
Posted by: keiths | April 26, 2008 11:05 AM
7 reasons why this guy should get fired :
1) because it won't work
that's obvious
2) because it's hypocrite
it hides the real problem that he doesn't want to confront with
3) because it's bad for Birmingham's reputation
also obvious
4) because they don't even follow the rules of the OT
see #42
5) because a day of prayer is actually non Christian
In the NT, Matthew 6.6 explains in no uncertain terms how a prayer is to be done, an act to be performed in secret
6) because it's anti-constitutional
also obvious
7) because there are quite a few spelling mistakes and logical mistakes in the proclamation itself
Posted by: negentropyeater | April 26, 2008 11:07 AM
I can't possibly blame this on religion alone, i say it's lead poisoning + religion, it's too freaking weird.
Posted by: claschxtreme | April 26, 2008 11:11 AM
Hizzoner Langford said. "Because let there be no misunderstanding, just like Satan is at work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days, God is too."
...thus showing the heresy that Satan exists as a co-equal with God. Many of these ignorami have a stronger belief in Satan than they do in the members of their holy trinity - they in fact actually believe in a quadrinity, more closely resembling the Manichaean heresy or even a perverted form of Zoroastrianism.
Posted by: Paul Burnett | April 26, 2008 11:13 AM
I lived in a city - once upon a time - where the Mayer wrote a letter to the Spice Girls begging them not to break up - had a press conference and everything. I was really embarrassed at the time, but now I realize it could have been a lot worse.
Posted by: Jams | April 26, 2008 11:17 AM
Jeez, I do believe Birmingham has a large Jewish community, or at least a minyan. I wonder whether they were invited to participate? After all, the S&A schtick is our's originally.
Posted by: Mooser | April 26, 2008 11:17 AM
I can see why they want revert to BCE as they obviously have trouble communicating in modern English (OK American for you infidels in the US :) )
Posted by: John Phillips, FCD | April 26, 2008 11:25 AM
Birmingham is a reasonably large city -- don't they have someone on staff whose job it is to write, or at least proofread, these kind of official proclamations?
Posted by: Tulse | April 26, 2008 11:25 AM
Man, I wish I had known about this in advance. I could have grabbed my camera and driven to Birmingham.
Posted by: vjack | April 26, 2008 11:28 AM
Ah, would you be referring to Toronto's beloved Mayor Mel? The guy who said he was worried about traveling to Africa because he'd be boiled by the "natives"?
Yeah, he was an embarrassment, too. Fortunately, we in Canada for the most part avoid the religious nuts, but we still get nuts.
Posted by: Tulse | April 26, 2008 11:32 AM
Another funny aspect of that statement is that, contrary to his assurances, Nineveh was likely smaller and less crime-ridden than Birmingham, considering how small most urban populations were before the 1700's.
Posted by: Julian | April 26, 2008 11:35 AM
Zeno @#5:
If you follow the "video" link, you'll see that Langford kept his Rolex while wearing burlap over his business suit. So you get at least partial credit.
Posted by: arensb | April 26, 2008 11:35 AM
Langford's campaign slogan was "Let's Do Something".
And he still got elected.
Posted by: notthedroids | April 26, 2008 11:38 AM
I see that the only out-of-state group noted as participating was from Deare Olde Indiana. Again. At least the locals didn't come several hundred miles to display their piety and stupidity. Only our guys would do that. We really take our race to the bottom seriously.
Steve "Take THAT, Mississippi!" James
Posted by: longstreet63 | April 26, 2008 11:39 AM
P.S. Just to show that not everybody in Birmingham is an idiot, here is a piece from a local columnist:
http://blog.al.com/archiblog/2008/04/langfords_crime_plan_out_of_ba.html
April 10, 2008
Mayor Larry Langford has a new plan to change the city.
Build a canal connecting Five Points West to Uncle Miltie's Racecourse and Gamble-atorium? Use horses from the freshly funded equestrian center to pull mass transit gondolas across town?
Nah. Those plans still have a few kinks. This time, Langford wants to reduce crime. With burlap sacks. Really.
I just know I've heard this story before. It seems so ... familiar.
It reminds me of being 11 years old and gullible as a "do-something" voter. It was a cold, rainy camping trip, and the veteran Boy Scouts took us little guys on something called a "snipe hunt."
[...]
Posted by: notthedroids | April 26, 2008 11:42 AM
adorned by the magic hat logo Langford commissioned for the city last year.
I just can't get past this part, even. Was he trying to say that any progress he makes as mayor is illusory? That anything good for the city will have to be pulled out of a hat, because he sure isn't going to work for it? Bah.
Posted by: Carlie | April 26, 2008 11:45 AM
Sackcloth & Ashes? Magic Hat logo? This sounds like a real life Poe's law...
Posted by: bill r | April 26, 2008 11:48 AM
Ah, but you're not reckoning the crimes per capital.
Posted by: noncarborundum | April 26, 2008 11:59 AM
Tulse @#56:
You may want to put up signs at the border: "Warning: located in a continent that produces large numbers of nuts."
Posted by: arensb | April 26, 2008 12:04 PM
One of these days the Onion is going to run a story like this, and the joke will be that its true. They may have to start doing that - reality is quickly becoming crazier than satire.
Posted by: craig | April 26, 2008 12:04 PM
Pleading with the gods, the mayor isn't doing it right. IIRC, don't you have to sacrifice a chicken on an alter or something?
Burnt offerings are always in style. The OT guys used to burn bulls, presumably a high end economicly valuable object. These days a high end SUV would be more appropiate.
Posted by: raven | April 26, 2008 12:06 PM
"An Atheist knows that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said."
Madalyn Murry
Posted by: Paul Lundgren | April 26, 2008 12:07 PM
I'd tell him, "Okay, mayor, go ahead and do your sackcloth and ashes thing. But a year from now we're going to have us a town hall meeting and publicly compare crime stats from before and after."
Posted by: mikespeir | April 26, 2008 12:08 PM
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
--Anonymous
Posted by: waldteufel | April 26, 2008 12:10 PM
Eh? This is opaque to me.
Posted by: Evan | April 26, 2008 12:19 PM
"the Constitution of the United States calls for a separation of church and state - it never said anything about a separation of church from state"
-What does that even mean?
""I could care less what they write about it or say about it," Langford said."
-And there is the real problem with fundamentalist religious leaders. You get that same sentiment from Bush all the time.
Posted by: Mozglubov | April 26, 2008 12:21 PM
O/T
The latest box office figures are out on Expelled, and it's not looking good :
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=daily&id=expelled.htm
Already a few theaters are droping the movie (from 1052 to 1041, only after a week), but more importantly this friday they estimate a drop of 63% over last friday.
So tentative forecast :
week 1 was total $ 3.9 Mill.
week 2 let's apply -63% to week 1 (quite conservative) gives $ 1.4 Mill.
Add a "tail" of maximum $ 1 Mill. for the rest and we get a maximum box office of $6.3 Mill.
Let's see if they beat $6 million in total, for a movie which was supposed to have caused a revolution, it's a bit dull, to say the least...
Posted by: negentropyeater | April 26, 2008 12:26 PM
And then people complain about the meaning of "is".
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | April 26, 2008 12:35 PM
This is a wonderful, dare I say heaven-sent, opportunity.
Never mind this petty online-poll jamming stuff. Imagine the potential fun 'n' profit to be had if a gang of (ruthless, immoral, atheistic) Pharyngulites (pardon the redundancy) were to rendezvous in Birmingham to show 'em how a crime wave is really done. Plainly there's nothing to stop us!
All we need is an Evil Mastermind to run the operation. As it's apparently now traditional to have PZless Pharyngula meet-ups, it looks like we'll have to see if Skatje would like to take her summer vacation down south this year...
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | April 26, 2008 12:39 PM
reality is quickly becoming crazier than satire.
That's GW Bush's fault - he blurred the lines so badly that nobody can distinguish them now.
Posted by: Coragyps | April 26, 2008 12:51 PM
Sell the entire Deep South to Mexico for a dollar and rid America of millions of idiots.
Posted by: CalGeorge | April 26, 2008 12:54 PM
I dont know...all these religious stories are depressing as fuck. Where are the good happy atheist stories?
Posted by: andrew | April 26, 2008 1:02 PM
Well, probably not all, but, clearly, it seems the majority are. This idiot was elected after all.
Posted by: Dan | April 26, 2008 1:05 PM
Hmm. Should right a piece and send it in to the onion, mocking this, but I am too lazy and don't know how you would do something like that. But, the premise would be something like:
"Small town mayor sends whips to clergy, gets unexpected surprise."
"In an attempt to curb crime in , Mayor sent whips, along with invitations, to numerous clergy in the city. Due to his secretary having failed to enclose the letters to be sent with them, there was some confusion over what was intended. According to Mayor , he was intending to dress in simple robes and flagulate himself, along with the local priests, only to be horrified by the discovery of an orgy and BDSM taking place all through the city."
Mind you, as I said, I am lazy, so if someone else wants to take my idea and flesh it out a bit, I wouldn't mind seeing it show up on the onion. You can claim I was the "on scene" reporter or something, if you like (last name I use online is Kossori). lol
Posted by: Kagehi | April 26, 2008 1:06 PM
Don't feel sorry for this sorry state, it's been like this for as far back as I can remember. The governor of my city (yes I live in Alabama) put in round-abouts (the terminology is probably wrong) in order to 'slow people down'. All the while moving hundreds out of their homes in order to build a new school they claimed to not have money for. Honestly, I wish I could go on a vacation for a few weeks and come back to learn that these southern states were torn from the country by a major earthquake. Any suggestions? And no, writing (letters only receive scorn, if they're read by the recipient at all) and protesting (most here in the South are to afraid to protest) doesn't work.
Posted by: Arion | April 26, 2008 1:22 PM
So join the union while ye may,
Don't wait 'til your dying day,
For that may not be far away,
Ye dirty blackleg deity.
Posted by: Ktesibios | April 26, 2008 1:23 PM
Thanks for the sales lead PZ!
Did somebody say monorail?
Posted by: joe | April 26, 2008 1:27 PM
Remember the old days, when we used to have to make an effort to make fun of religious people? They're making it so pretty much anybody can make fun of them now. No rhetorical skills required. How will I stand out in a crowd?
Eventually satire will just become pointless.
Posted by: Greg Gyetko | April 26, 2008 1:40 PM
Speaking as another Birminghamian (the correct term for us Magic City-dwellers), please keep in mind that Langford only barely made it into office last year. It was a neck-and-neck race with a very progressive, open-minded, gay-friendly, truly talented candidate named Patrick Cooper, who nonetheless lost the race. Langford had years of corrupt ties with local business leaders to help prop him up to mayoral status-- Patrick had only popular support.
We of the progressive wing of Birmingham were VERY upset about Langford's appointment, and this kind of bullshit you guys see here is exactly why. But keep in mind that
(a) not all of us are kooks and rednecks here-- B'ham is a very cosmopolitan city; and
(b) Birmingham is the most progressive city in Alabama; if you think this is bad, then you should stay far, far away from Montgomery.
Posted by: Plastic Flag | April 26, 2008 1:44 PM
If you had the criminals dress in sackcloth, it might have an effect...
If I remember correctly, some prophet or another went to Nineveh and told them they were damned, and that god was going to destroy the city in fire. After that, the city did the sackcloth and ashes bit, and the prophet, having gone to a hill to the east of Nineveh to enjoy the scent of a city immolated, was disappointed. He was told by god (came up with the excuse) that the city would be spared.
For the ritual to work, they need a proclamation of doom by an outside prophet...
Posted by: Robster, FCD | April 26, 2008 2:03 PM
When I got to this part, I really had to go up and check that this was a real news article and not from the Onion or similar:
I can't help it. As terrible as this is, and as bad as I feel for the more sensible inhabitants of Birmingham that have to put up with this crap, I'm laughing hysterically.
Posted by: Etha Williams | April 26, 2008 2:09 PM
This man wants you to render unto Caesar and god. And he thinks he's Caesar...
Posted by: Orca40 | April 26, 2008 2:11 PM
Please tell me this poor man has been returned to a place of safety and has been put back on his medication.
I'm not sure (he writes so badly in his confused state)but he seems to think he's a biblical king!
Posted by: Kitty | April 26, 2008 2:14 PM
Here's the full story of Nineveh from Jonah 3:
My favorite part, though, is what happened just before all this, in Jonah 2-10:
Sometimes I find it really difficult to believe that biblical literalists actually exist.
Posted by: Etha Williams | April 26, 2008 2:15 PM
They tried to get the Morris theater to show it; unfortunately for them, they imposed a requirement that the theater book it for a minimum of two weeks, which was unacceptable in our small market. There may be a lot of theaters wishing they could unload this turkey, but they're contractually required to hang on to it for another week. Look for those numbers to plummet next weekend.
Posted by: PZ Myers | April 26, 2008 2:16 PM
You've just persuaded me to stay far, far away from Alabama.
Posted by: keiths | April 26, 2008 2:17 PM