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I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct for revenge for which no expedient is sufficiently poisonous, secret, subterranean, petty — I call it the one mortal blemish of mankind.
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Category: Humor
Posted on: May 12, 2008 7:50 AM, by PZ Myers
We're in big trouble now. A think tank is gearing up to take on all those uppity atheists, and they have a cunning plan that cannot fail, which will strip us of one of the most important tools in our arsenal. They have found Russell's Teapot, and are planning to put it into space.
We are logically doomed.
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Comments
Posted by: mr-zero | May 12, 2008 7:54 AM
I call Poe!
Posted by: rlrr | May 12, 2008 8:01 AM
OH NOES!
Posted by: Ygern | May 12, 2008 8:02 AM
Ah well then. That's me off to church this evening.
:-)
Posted by: MH | May 12, 2008 8:06 AM
Off topic, but also about a group taking on uppity atheists (or at least the effect they have on the believers):
Church of Scotland mediators to quell disputes.
I think it's the best news I've read in ages.
:D
Posted by: Ale | May 12, 2008 8:09 AM
100% Poe. Take for instance this gem:
Surely referring to:
Posted by: Ale | May 12, 2008 8:13 AM
I retract: It's not even Poe. It is just humor. :D
Posted by: DiscoveredJoys | May 12, 2008 8:16 AM
I like a good spoof - but they are very silly boys. Using the principles of Relativity they could use a telescope orbiting in space to view a teapot on earth to confirm the existence of God(s).
So if anyone has an uncle or aunt working in the Hubble mission, plus a big parking lot to place the teapot in... I guess this will be called the Woodwedge mission.
I've often wanted to give the Disco Tute a Wedgie.
Posted by: Snitzels | May 12, 2008 8:21 AM
I think we should launch something much smaller than a teapot next time, say a needle, and let them search for that... keep them busy for a while.
Posted by: aiabx | May 12, 2008 8:24 AM
I consider this proof of the existence of extra physical dimensions. Only an 18-dimensional universe would allow them to miss the point that badly.
Posted by: Gobaskof | May 12, 2008 8:38 AM
Silly Institute of Discovery. This teapot would orbit the Earth not the Sun. It's orbit of the Sun would have epicycles instead of being purely elliptical, and it wouldn't always be between the Earth and Mars. xD
Posted by: TR Gregory | May 12, 2008 8:44 AM
You gotta love that it's a Wedgwood teapot no less -- Uncle Jos would be pleased.
Posted by: dcwp | May 12, 2008 8:47 AM
Too funny. You had me going for a minute. It took a couple of 'graphs before Poe smacked me upside the humor gland.
Posted by: MPG | May 12, 2008 8:50 AM
Hee! Very amusing. That made my lunctime!
Though from what I understand, the HST is incapable of looking clearly at objects in our own solar system, much less a Wedgwood teapot dangled mere inches in front of it (so it can't see, say, the Apollo landing sites on the moon because it's too close). It is designed for deep space observation after all. I'm afraid I would have to demand more concrete evidence than the large white blur in the middle of the frame that would be the inevitable result of their fiendish plot. Why, that could be anything!
Posted by: bernarda | May 12, 2008 9:00 AM
For Stupid on youtube, you should see these videos, "A Course in Miracles". They like to put forward supposed non-believers that "converted". More inane would be hard to find.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFEKF1pnZb8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm7D_vtsv-8&feature=related
Posted by: Mobius | May 12, 2008 9:08 AM
Sadly, the "logic" that the Discovery Institute uses for its argument are just about as convoluted and illogical as that presented in this spoof.
Posted by: Hematite | May 12, 2008 9:11 AM
The picture of the Hubble Space Telescope is clearly photoshopped. The angle of the shadows is all wrong.
Posted by: Clan:Rewired | May 12, 2008 9:14 AM
Since I can't post my objection on their site and no way I'm signing up for a google account, here gooes:
Hold on, but then you would also have to deal with all the splintergroups, the Reformed Movement of Russel's Ming Dynasty Teapot, the Born Again Teapot worshippers of Russel's Cousin Frank, the polytheistic church of Russel's Crockery, there's even a cult suggesting that the Teapot isn't a teapot at all but a perculator, one that has been building up pressure for decades now and will explode according to a Mayan calender in the year 2012 and turn the Sun into a nova thus setting in motion a chainreaction that will change Jupiter into a sun, thus making Europa the promised land. What about these and the many other varieties? You can't prove or disprove them all! They can't all be right or wrong! You can't ever stop people from believing in the Teapot, it would be illogical and immoral! Think of the children for Teapot's sake!
Posted by: Richard Harris | May 12, 2008 9:20 AM
Feckin' edjits! It wouldn't be Russell's Teapot, it would be someone else's.
But it long ago occured to me that as imaging technology improved, it might become possible to detect a Russell's Teapot, were such to exist. That does flaw the Russell's Teapot analogy. But so what?
Posted by: SteveM | May 12, 2008 9:25 AM
Couldn't we just move our own goalposts? Seems fair. Instead of a teapot, how about a thimble in orbit around Neptune?
Posted by: amphiox | May 12, 2008 9:34 AM
As detection technology improves, perhaps it might become possible to actually detect god. Of course, the moment that happens, the subject of "god" becomes one of science, and religion would be screwed.
Posted by: freelunch | May 12, 2008 9:40 AM
So, religion loses either way. Eventually there will be enough Americans who can think clearly, eventually, but I'll likely be dead.
Posted by: Armchair Dissident | May 12, 2008 9:42 AM
I'm with StevenM, but instead of a thimble around Neptune, I want a coffee-machine around Mars. That way, if it's ever found, at least we'll have a coffee.
Posted by: uncle noel | May 12, 2008 10:00 AM
I think the Hubble may need some adjustment to focus that close. Perhaps bifocals - I mean, it is getting on in years. Otherwise, the logic is impeccable.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 12, 2008 10:08 AM
Off-topic and less humorous: Jeff Medkeff (he who named asteroid paulmyers) has written an informative post about the device which John Freshwater reportedly used to burn a cross into a student's arm.
The Columbus Dispatch identified the device as a BD-10A High Frequency Generator manufactured by Electro-Technic Products.
Posted by: mac | May 12, 2008 10:23 AM
I wasn't quite sure this was satire 'til I read "[t]he Hubble Space Telescope is widely recognized as being one of the most successful projects in the NASA's history."
After that, I was sure.
Posted by: Colwyn Abernathy | May 12, 2008 10:30 AM
There's no need to fear...Sagan's Dragon in My Garage is here!
I think...he's invisible, donchaknow. ;)
Posted by: jimmiraybob | May 12, 2008 10:45 AM
A think tank is gearing up to
take on all those uppity atheistssuck as much wealth out of as many rubes as possible,...Fixed
Posted by: AndyD | May 12, 2008 10:48 AM
I can't post at the other site but I'm deeply concerned. They seem intent on using NASA and a telescope but I believe science leads to killing people and I don't want it to come to that.
I would prefer if they used prayer to meet their objective. I've organised my twelve kids (my wife's no Mrs Duggar, that's for sure!) to start praying for the mission and I'd encourage all like-minded people to do the same before members of the DI resort to murder.
Since I have absolutely no intention of risking use of a telescope myself, I will wait for the Institute to announce that they've discovered the teapot in orbit and their assurance will be my proof.
Posted by: Bing McGhandi | May 12, 2008 10:55 AM
Next they are going to put that Thai take-out restaurant on the far side of the moon.
HJ
Posted by: SamD | May 12, 2008 11:36 AM
The important thing to remember is that tea will now be available to those spacegoers fortunate enough to run across it.
In the meantime i'll be sipping my earthly coffee.
Posted by: Mozglubov | May 12, 2008 11:51 AM
I also thought it was amazing that Judge Jones was a "Liberal Activist". That's quite a feat for a conservative judge...
Posted by: tl | May 12, 2008 12:04 PM
I think I have to start worshiping that teapot as the one true god. it IS a pretty teapot. (Nice Darwin connection via Wedgewood).
Sorry FSM, your day is done.
Posted by: Patricia C. | May 12, 2008 12:06 PM
#4 - MH - Thanks for that Church of Scotland article link. What a small breeze of hope! I wish the same thing was going on in the USA.
Posted by: Richard | May 12, 2008 2:07 PM
Damn it. A teapot gap.
Let's launch a cup and saucer, a tiny spoon, a pint of cream, some sugar cubes, and a nice plate of assorted biscuits, but let's do it first.
Just to see the look on their faces.
I just like the idea of launching a tea pot on the prank level; what a great hack; albeit a multi-billion dollar one at that. Now we need to invest in genetically engineering some unicorns that we can breed for traits like "pink and invisible"
Posted by: MH | May 12, 2008 2:27 PM
Patricia (#32),
No problem. It would be nice to see it moved to a post of it's own, as it is really encouraging. Also, it refutes people like Matt Nisbet who think that outspoken atheists should just shut-up. It's strong evidence that when religion isn't given unearned respect, emboldened believers will hold ministers to account, and such religious leaders are often unable to defend the dogma.
Religion in the UK has been dying out for decades, but people like Dawkins are hastening its demise. Lets hope the US follows suit.
Posted by: mikmik | May 12, 2008 2:36 PM
The point is that it is a weak analogy, at best. There is still all the infinite other things that can be proposed and not disproven.
LOL!!! Any attempt at DI to show that because 'the teapot' has been falsified it therefore negates all the FSM etc. examples - doesn't that then negate God as an example?
Also, Russel said "... a china teapot...' and not 'my china teapot'
Posted by: Rey Fox | May 12, 2008 3:35 PM
I can't believe people even thought for a second that this was real. Do you think anyone on the ID side has the sophistication to have even heard of Russel's Teapot?
Posted by: CortxVortx | May 12, 2008 5:37 PM
A plan so cunning, you could pick your teeth with it.
Posted by: slang | May 12, 2008 6:40 PM
Not to be a spoilsport but:
#7 "So if anyone has an uncle or aunt working in the Hubble mission, plus a big parking lot to place the teapot in... I guess this will be called the Woodwedge mission."
Hubble is unable to look at objects on earth for many reasons, one of them being is that Hubble would be unable to track the rotation of earth. Brightness would be another issue, IIRC.
#13 Though from what I understand, the HST is incapable of looking clearly at objects in our own solar system, much less a Wedgwood teapot dangled mere inches in front of it (so it can't see, say, the Apollo landing sites on the moon because it's too close).
Hubble often takes pictures of objects in our own solar system.. like these. There are many more on that website.
Posted by: Jaycubed | May 12, 2008 7:21 PM
"So, religion loses either way. Eventually there will be enough Americans who can think clearly, eventually, but I'll likely be dead.
Posted by: freelunch"
I am afraid it is just as likely that the True Believers will succeed in their goal of making everybody dead.
-----
"Though from what I understand, the HST is incapable of looking clearly at objects in our own solar system, much less a Wedgwood teapot dangled mere inches in front of it (so it can't see, say, the Apollo landing sites on the moon because it's too close). It is designed for deep space observation after all. I'm afraid I would have to demand more concrete evidence than the large white blur in the middle of the frame that would be the inevitable result of their fiendish plot. Why, that could be anything!
Posted by: MPG"
As has been pointed out, HST can take excellent pictures of objects in the solar system. It does not have a macro focus capability however and could not take a picture of an object within inches (or feet/meters).
But, it is unlikely that a HST photo taken with a teapot as illustrated would cause a blur of any kind. It is likely that the effect of such an object being photographed would be in a large increase in diffraction effects, such as star images appearing to have points.
Remember that a reflecting telescope such as HST already has a number of objects, such as the secondary mirror & its struts, blocking its aperture at nearly the same spot the teapot would hang. These objects are invisible in the telescope's image, causing only the noted increase in diffraction.
Posted by: oriole | May 12, 2008 8:45 PM
PZ may know a lot about his own field, but before he makes uninformed criticisms of teapot worship, a field in which he does not possess expertise, he should stop to think how he would feel if, say, a tea-ologist were to opine about biology. PZ's crude and unsubtle criticism of teapot worship is based on a literalist image of an old white-haired English philosopher drinking tea. If he would take the trouble to read the works of some prominent tea-ologists, he would know that the modern understanding of Russell's teapot is much deeper and more abstract than a non-tea-ologian could possibly understand.
However, it is allowed to defend teapot worship without understanding tea-ology.
Posted by: DLC | May 12, 2008 8:58 PM
Hm.. all this teapotism on a site usually reserved for rational thought. Here I thought I had found an Atheist Blog, and where's all the Atheism ? (/joke)
Although I do wonder if there isn't a group out there planning to put an invisible dragon in my garage. Probably a Japanese group, probably practicing using a short man in a rubber suit.
Should I google Godzilla-Wedge ?
Posted by: Chironex | May 12, 2008 8:59 PM
I'm sorry, but what does it mean to call poe?
Posted by: BobbyEarle | May 12, 2008 9:44 PM
Poe's Law basicaly states that it is impossible to parody a fundie position because someone will actually think that it is not a parody. "Calling Poe" means that "I think the position you guys are taking seriously is really just a parody".
Was that confusing enough?
Posted by: g | May 13, 2008 1:53 AM
Discovery's biologists are currently planning their worldwide search for a direct descendant of Haldane's rabbit, while geologists locate appropriate Precambrian strata in which to bury it.
Posted by: Ichthyic | May 13, 2008 2:00 AM
@#4
I think it's the best news I've read in ages.
as one of the commenters said:
...it's game already over!
Posted by: g | May 13, 2008 2:19 AM
"But it long ago occured to me that as imaging technology improved, it might become possible to detect a Russell's Teapot, were such to exist."
Tricky. First, you'd need a tremendous increase in telescope size just to see a teapot on the Moon from Earth, never mind one further away. Then add another spectacular increase to distinguish the teapot from similar-sized rocks.
http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=134
Second, space is big. Really big. Even with a stupendous telescope, it would take a very long time to scan for something teapot-sized if you didn't know where it was.
http://www.zone-sf.com/patrickmoore.html
Posted by: brian | May 13, 2008 5:43 AM
Good job Templetown!! I want to learn the truth of I.D. now!!!
Posted by: Jaycubed | May 13, 2008 9:26 PM
"I can't believe people even thought for a second that this was real. Do you think anyone on the ID side has the sophistication to have even heard of Russel's Teapot?
Posted by: Rey Fox"
ID proponents often talk about concepts they know absolutely nothing about except for the name of the concept and that some (non-scientific) authority tells them it means X, which supports their own belief system.
A fine example is the simplistic misinterpretation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics to "prove" that life is impossible because things can only run down without external intervention. IDers say only god could be that "external" source (rather than the sun, which directly or indirectly supplies the external energy for most life processes, or chemical reactions which provide the rest), because they don't bother to actually investigate how entropy works.
Yet the Second Law of Thermodynamics clearly demonstrates that an eternal soul cannot exist in this universe as that would violate the 2nd Law. Same with an eternal god.
If the Second Law of Thermodynamics is true then gods & souls do not exist.