Pharyngula

Posted by: JJR | May 17, 2008 10:44 AM

Remember, according to Gary Larson's FAR SIDE, he has a "smite" button on his keyboard.

Posted by: Joel | May 17, 2008 11:18 AM

be careful commenting over there -- he might just pick on you.

Yeah check out, # 16, Dick Franing. Poor guy is doomed.

Posted by: brokenSoldier | May 17, 2008 11:21 AM

That site is hilarious! And it's only a couple of steps (if any at all) away from what most normal ministers would presume to know about God's will.

Posted by: Moses | May 17, 2008 11:54 AM

Brilliant!

Posted by: Jonathan Schnapp | May 17, 2008 11:54 AM

On the other hand, Jesus Christ's blog is way cooler. Too bad he stopped writing it.

Posted by: Marcus Ranum | May 17, 2008 1:10 PM

I can haz hell now?

Posted by: Alverant | May 17, 2008 1:27 PM

I sense this is Poe's Law in action.
http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Poe%27s_Law
(Basically Poe's Law states you can't parody religion without explicitly saying so because no matter how ridiculous it is, there's someone out there who's more so and seriously believes it.)

Posted by: firemancarl | May 17, 2008 1:42 PM

Ya know, now that I think about it, that isn't a good attention getter for God.

Nope, this one is better.
In the voice of The Rock( of WWE fame)
Finally, your Lord God has come back to the blogosphere!!

Posted by: Facehammer | May 17, 2008 2:01 PM

That entire blog is awesome.

Posted by: woozy | May 17, 2008 2:10 PM

Tangent:

In his (er, I mean, His) "I hate cats" he links to this bit of ... interesting... thought.

This is perhaps one of the most absurd, arational, and completely arbitrarily "unimpeded by the thought process" ramblings I've ever read. The upshot seems to be "Um, yeah, I don't think Christians should have cats as pets cause they're ... animals (well, yeah, I know, dogs and cattle or animals but they're domesticated ... cats are domesticated too but, you know, ... just *look* at them!) ... you now, and they eat mice ... gross ... and cleaning kitty litter and buying cat food takes time that could be used praying or reading the bible..."

Posted by: Mary | May 17, 2008 2:12 PM

Of course, we knew about shrimp.

Posted by: Geral | May 17, 2008 2:50 PM

haha I love it! Great reading.

Posted by: Gilles | May 17, 2008 3:20 PM

I fear this blogger may well believe part of what he writes...

Posted by: blf | May 17, 2008 4:10 PM

@26: Youdamnit, wouldn't a real god say "medamnit"?

Posted by: Ted D | May 17, 2008 4:43 PM

@19 Good non-existent gods, that link... It's hypnotic in its madness, I could barely stop reading. I can't say if it's a parody or not, but I'm leaning towards not. My favourite bit:

Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on.

Posted by: Bride of Shrek | May 17, 2008 5:15 PM

I could kind of warm to a god that hates American Idol.

Posted by: Alan C | May 17, 2008 5:57 PM

He forgot about amputees!

Posted by: woozy | May 17, 2008 7:57 PM

@29. Hypnotic isn't it? I think it's a sincere Jehova Witness tract. I'm just astounded by it's utter and appearently a-rationality of it.

My favorite part is the very beginning:

First, let us consider what most scholars agree is the etymology (word derivation) for the English term 'cat'. When analyzed with the Latin 'felis cattus domesticus', the original Koine Greek is 'cur.io huma bes-tia', means 'a contemporary housecat with all of its beastly identifying characteristics and behavior.' A faithful servant of Jehovah would quickly notice that the nature of a cat is so marked as being 'beastly'. .... Lest we forget the story of Nebuchadnezzar and the condition of God's enemy when being humbled by Jehovah, the student of God's Holy word would ask - is it by accident that the Bible in the book of Daniel describes his experience as a 'beast' of the field? Hardly so!

So, get this: Cat's are animals. When the bible describes human activity as 'animal-like', said behavior is usually condemned. Ergo Christians should have nothing to do with cats.

How can anyone even think such a statement *without* having the obvious logical flaw "that means Christians should have nothing to do with *any* animal for any reason: no meat, no pack animals, no leather, no eggs, no dogs, no penguins" stomp in and wreck havok with one's thought? Honestly, how can *anyone* not immediately think of that? Maybe the writer is the only person who when asked not to think about a rhinocerous will actually be capible of not thinking a bout a rhinocerous.

And speaking of disproving a negative: The Bible does not say that cats were not present at Herod's birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. Enjoy, okay lest we scoff and say the bible didn't say "penguins weren't present either" he offers the slightly less insane "History shows that cats were most likely present at this tragic party that Jehovah did not approve of". But history shows chickens and dogs and, ahem, human beings were most likely present as well. Should we shun chickens and dogs as well?

It's an interesting trivia fact that the bible never mentions cats at all which I suppose could be used against them in a "if it's not in the bible it must be bad" way but really ...

Posted by: Robert Madewell | May 17, 2008 8:30 PM

For the life of me I couldn't figure out whether this was a serious site or a parody. Poe's Law anyone?

Posted by: Wowbagger | May 17, 2008 9:15 PM

Brilliant. Here I was thinking there wasn't going to be much God and I would agree on, but if he hates American Idol (and, by extension, the similarly awful Australian Idol) then maybe he's not so bad after all.

Smite 'em all. Well, except maybe Simon Cowell. He's just telling it like it is.

Posted by: hf | May 17, 2008 10:03 PM

29 et al, the "Godly chastity and decorum" plus "devices not known to be used by Jesus" point strongly towards parody.

Posted by: Olorin | May 17, 2008 10:21 PM

As author Anne Lamott once remarked: "You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

That says it all.

Posted by: Bride of Shrek | May 17, 2008 10:56 PM

Funny, I don't see any mention of people who go around door knocking in the name of Jesus, people who flick cigarette butts out their car wnidows or idiots who talk in the cinema. If I was God they'd all be right at the top of my shit list.

Posted by: melior | May 18, 2008 1:03 AM

I went to see Roy Zimmermann play tonight *gloat*.
I expect he'll be turning up on God's hate list any day now.

Posted by: Ichthyic | May 18, 2008 2:53 AM

speaking of things "god" hates...

I rather think a summary post of all the shenanigans and bizarre deaths pulled off by the religious nuttery over the last year or two would be good with the elections coming up and all.

seriously, between Ted Haggard, Reverend "double westsuit", Pat Roberston's lawschool for dopes, Hovind arrested for tax fraud, and all the other wonderful things that the feaux-relgious have pulled out of their nutsacks over the last couple of years, a complete list would be both educational and amusing.

Posted by: bernarda | May 18, 2008 5:12 AM

One thing God does like is "dashing". Go to a bible site that allows word search and type in "dash" or some variation.

http://bibleresources.bible.com/keywordsearchresults.php?keyword=dash&numpageresults=10&Submit.x=16&Submit.y=14

2nd Chronicles 25:

"The army of Judah also captured ten thousand men alive, took them to the top of a cliff and threw them down so that all were dashed to pieces."

Psalms 137, the famous "Rivers of Babylon":

"8 O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you
for what you have done to us-

9 he who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks."

Isaiah 13:

"15 Whoever is captured will be thrust through;
all who are caught will fall by the sword.

16 Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes;
their houses will be looted and their wives ravished. "

It goes on and on.

Posted by: Andreas Johansson | May 18, 2008 7:36 AM

Y'all are all forgeting the really important question: does God hate catnip?

Posted by: AndyD | May 18, 2008 11:53 AM

Well, now we know where Ben Stein has been getting his information.

Posted by: Patricia C. | May 18, 2008 3:00 PM

Has anyone been keeping track of all the disasters that have happened since they locked god up the other day for child molesting? My 80 year old parents think this is really funny. *grin*

Posted by: Etha Williams | May 18, 2008 3:22 PM

@#53 Andreas Johannson --

Y'all are all forgeting the really important question: does God hate catnip?

Yes:

Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah? The Bible clearly shows that 'neither fornicators .. nor thieves .. nor drunkards .. nor revilers .. will inherit the Kingdom.' (1 Cor. 6:9-11)

(Emphases mine.)

Posted by: Patricia C. | May 19, 2008 12:09 AM

Gawd can't be too happy with this tidbit - Einstein's godless letter sold for $404,000! Hell, I'll write one for half that price.

Posted by: blf | May 19, 2008 6:06 PM

I think he's suffering from grumpy old men syndrome.

Omnigrumpy in addition to omniscience, omnipresence, omnipotence, and omniwacky.