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« Fun with the godly loons | Main | Uh-oh »
Category: Weirdness
Posted on: May 8, 2008 8:37 AM, by PZ Myers
If you thought Christian rock was horrible and unlistenable, you have not yet heard the Christian demo tapes — the stuff that is so awful it never even made it to the exalted ranks of famous artists like Creed.
Nah, you really don't want to listen to those. It's a version of audio torture. Maybe KKMS can use these songs, though.
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Comments
I hate Christian Rock with a violent passion. I can only imagine what kind of crap the Holy record execs thought was amateurish in comparison to the garbage that we actually get to hear. Unless I start feeling suicidal I'm not going to listen to any of those demos.
Bring on the metal. It will cleanse my mental palate after the sour milk that is Christian Rock.
Posted by: Schmeer | May 8, 2008 8:48 AM
Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast" might prove a worthy purgative.
Posted by: Lycosid | May 8, 2008 8:50 AM
My eyes are bleeding from this Yahoo story about the platypus genome. I think that I'll pass on the music today.
Posted by: Mena | May 8, 2008 8:54 AM
Yeah, no thanks, I'd really rather stick my hand in a meatgrinder...
Mena: reporter misreports science. What's new? It sounded reasonable accurate apart from "Platypuses are a genetic potpourri"...
Posted by: wazza | May 8, 2008 8:58 AM
Gotta wonder whether the friendly folks over at intelligence couldn't use those tapes/tunes instead of waterboarding.
But frankly, I'd rather be drowning than having to listen to that nightingale tune again..
Posted by: Umilik | May 8, 2008 9:00 AM
Lycosid,
Excellent suggestion, but my commute was awful today. I have to start with prescription strength death metal first.
Dimmu Borgir, In Sorte Diaboli.
Posted by: Schmeer | May 8, 2008 9:02 AM
"Christian Rock" ?!?
Everyone knows all the good bands are affiliated with Satan.
- Bart Simpson
Posted by: Curt Cameron | May 8, 2008 9:04 AM
I always wondered what a toothache sounded like.
Posted by: Dan | May 8, 2008 9:04 AM
In high school/first year of college, I dated a girl who was born-again (her Catholic parents were mildly amused). Once, she invited me to a concert at the Hagerstown Fair. We went with about twenty of her friends. It turned out to be a Christian Rock Concert. There were four bands (I think the headline was Petra?). All were wearing massive amounts of spandex. All were so out of balance (vocals v. instrumentals) that I couldn't hear the words. Luckily, the words were posted above the stage on a big screen. It was all about love. God's love. Jesus' love. The Bible's love.
The music was bad, the lyrics were forced, and the compositions were juvenile.
On the way home, I slid in Pind Floyd's The Wall as an (effective) antidote.
I really don't want to listen to those songs, so forgive me if I do not follow the link.
Now, of course, you have brought that memory up, so I think I need a good dose of Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, and Bob Dylan.
Posted by: (((Billy))) | May 8, 2008 9:05 AM
One of my friends in college was friends with a "preacher's kid", who would supply us with the most hilarious samples of Christian rock that her dad's church received. My favorite was some guy screaming repeatedly over discordant guitar noise: "JESUS! HE LOVES YOUR CHILDREN! LOVES ALL THE CHILDREN!"
Posted by: DiscGrace | May 8, 2008 9:07 AM
Paramore is some catchy stuff the kids love. It's got some cringeworthy christian lyrics though. Better than Evanescence that's for sure. I think once bands start selling that many records, they stop talking about their faith alot.
Posted by: Steve_C | May 8, 2008 9:08 AM
Anyone who makes it through more than a couple of those demos has a level of tolerance that I will never understand. Those things are a level of bad that words can not begin to describe.
Posted by: Jason G. | May 8, 2008 9:12 AM
I have a strong affinity with "Amazing Grace" for many personal reasons (most of them not religious, oddly). Typically, I end up so emotional that I can't help crying.
I was almost crying at this version, too. But for very different reasons.
Posted by: John | May 8, 2008 9:13 AM
"We are the losers that god rose up." - We Are the Champions (of God)
These guys might be onto something.
Posted by: Jams | May 8, 2008 9:13 AM
Regarding O Nightingale:
Come back, Florence Foster Jenkins! All is forgiven!
Posted by: Zeno | May 8, 2008 9:13 AM
There is someone worse than Creed?!?!?!?!? The mind reels.....
Posted by: Steve | May 8, 2008 9:19 AM
I think the South Park guys got the whole faith-based music industry spot-on when they parodied it.
Still, to be fair, I love my one Sufjan Stevens album. The man has talent. But he sits in my cd collection with Tool and Bright Eyes - not much Jebus there...
Posted by: Wowbagger | May 8, 2008 9:21 AM
Stupidity distilled to 99% purity:
"God, give the devil the measles
For all those tricks on me
Let him jump and itch
Scratch and twitch
All through eternity"
Posted by: MootPoint | May 8, 2008 9:26 AM
Just lost two pints of blood. Came gushing out of my eyes, nose and ears. Should have heeded you warning, PZ.
Imagine being a mental healthcare professional, stumbling upon this stuff. You just couldn't stop yourself from having the most acute SIWOTI attack, and die.
Someone must preserve this stuff for future generations, but, in the meantime, keep it out of the reach of children, adults, and mental healthcare professionals.
Posted by: trimtab | May 8, 2008 9:30 AM
In all fairness, it's not just the Christians - somewhere upwards of 95% of all demos are dreadful.
Posted by: Dunc | May 8, 2008 9:34 AM
I used to have a dual role as a IT manager / Warehouse manager for a leather goods importing company and one of the people who worked there was a super fundamentalist. His kid used to work during the summer in the warehouse and would play the most god awful (damn that works well there) shit I've ever heard. It was like Death Metal but all Christian lyrics. I had to listen to it every time I was in the warehouse and all the other workers complained daily about it. Eventually I had to throw some Funky Meters on the radio and told him he couldn't play that any longer. The other warehouse workers thanked me.
There is some really bad music out there and when you add Jesus to the mix it just becomes unbearable.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbCHimp | May 8, 2008 9:36 AM
Another antidote - brutal honesty:
"'Ooh Girl!' - An Honest R&B Song"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vc8tPTVBRSc
Posted by: SC | May 8, 2008 9:39 AM
Didn't Evanescence give up on being a "Christian band"? [insert sound of Googling] Wikipedia says so, and it's even got footnotes.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 8, 2008 9:40 AM
Wow, that girl who sings Amazing Grace sounds like Miss Cleo failed at her pyschic-network and decided to become a phone sex operator. "I hope you like it. A lot."
CREEPY.
Posted by: Chris (in Columbus) | May 8, 2008 9:41 AM
I adore terrible music. I don't know why, but the Bad Music Hour and its clones indicate that I am not alone in this. The fact that some of the demos have introductions explaining the songs from the "artists" makes it even better.
Posted by: Carlie | May 8, 2008 9:41 AM
When I was teaching music at a small college in east Texas, I often got calls from people who wanted help in writing their "contemporary Christian" songs (basically they wanted music theory lessons so they could learn to write down what they played on the guitar or piano). I never quite got the nerve, but I always wanted to lend them a copy of the Penderecki St. Luke Passion and/or the Ligeti Requiem and tell them that was what I meant by contemporary Christian music and to call me back if they wanted to continue along those lines. At any event, none of them was quite as delusional as these folks. A couple of them even had some vestiges of talent.
Unrelated, really, but one of my favorite anecdotes of that period in my life: I was playing in the orchestra for the "living Christmas tree" at one of the local churches (the teaching gig didn't pay all that well) and they opened each performance with the famous Copland Fanfare for the Common Man. Backstage at intermission one night I was talking with some of the brass players, most of whom were, or had been, students at the college where I was teaching and had been in one or more of my classes. Someone mentioned how much they liked the Copland and I got to point out that Copland was a Jewish homosexual with markedly leftist political leanings. I wondered aloud if the deacons at the church were aware of that. The expressions on their faces were priceless.
No one else seems to have sent this along: http://www.fredmckinnon.com/media/OHolyNight.mp3 . It's been making the rounds for a year or more and there is a spirited debate as to whether it's a serious, but horribly misguided, attempt at what is actually a pretty difficujlt song (and which is often tackled by people who can't quite handle its wide range and long phrases) or a really, really, really good parody (I lean towards the latter). It literally had me falling off my chair the first time I heard it.
Posted by: MS | May 8, 2008 9:44 AM
...now go have a bit of fun with The Shaggs, "My Pal Foot Foot"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tscjQboAITs
Posted by: DaveX | May 8, 2008 9:45 AM
"Contemporary Christian" = "We just found a monolith on the Moon and are freaking the fuck out"?
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 8, 2008 9:46 AM
I wonder what happened to the Gospel Gangstas?
Posted by: danley | May 8, 2008 9:47 AM
Its like the Python's funniest joke sketch, except instead of a joke, it is pain incarnate.
These must be destroyed! Imagine the human death toll if these got into the hands of an evil dictatorship. Not all of us have the mental fortitude to resist this!
Posted by: Lyle | May 8, 2008 9:48 AM
Good call on the late and much-lamented Florence Foster Jenkins, Zeno #15.
Posted by: Tom | May 8, 2008 10:00 AM
I'm not getting even near Xtian Rock, I'd rather pour molten lead down my ears.
I'm now listening to "What God Wants pt II" by Roger Waters...
"God wants dollars/God wants cents/God wants pounds shillings and pence/God wants guilders/God wants kroner/God wants Swiss francs/God wants French francs/God wants escudos/God wants pesetas/Don't send lira/God don't want small potatoes/God wants small towns/God wants pain/God wants clean up rock campaigns/God wants widows/God wants solution/God wants TV/God wants contributions/What God wants God gets God help us all/God wants silver/God wants gold/God wants his secret/Never to be told"
Somewhat related isn't it? Great song from a great album (Amused to Death).
While we're on the topic, I read a few weeks ago that David Gilmour is an atheist. Not exactly a great surprise, but it feels good knowing than someone you admire and respect shares your beliefs, isn't it?
Posted by: Ulairion | May 8, 2008 10:08 AM
South Park 'Christian Rock Hard' episode:
Cartman:
I'm gonna get down on my knees
And start pleasing Jesus,
I wanna feel his love
All over my face.
Posted by: MarkW | May 8, 2008 10:09 AM
One of my guilty pleasures is Christian metal. Some of these bands are only vaguely spiritual while others are full on Left Behind types.
Faves: Zao (metalcore - not sure if they are still a 'Christian' band), Antestor ('unblack' metal with cred - Hellhammer from Mayhem was session drummer on their latest album), Mortification (only their early thrash/grind phase is good), Vengeance Rising (thrash - lead singer Roger Martinez became an atheist and denounces Christianity every chance he gets).
Posted by: Colugo | May 8, 2008 10:13 AM
Be sure to read the "full blurb" annotations--each one a work of consummate artistry.
Posted by: Tom | May 8, 2008 10:15 AM
Creed was officially Christian rock? O_o
Posted by: BMcP | May 8, 2008 10:16 AM
I think it's more a music thing than it is a Christian thing. That is, most Christian rock is nu-metal or sappy acoustic ballads, and those suck regardless of lyrical content.
Posted by: Cain | May 8, 2008 10:16 AM
Hmmm. I don't know. "Hot Summer Nights" kinda does it for me. That sexy twang and the country riff, still not sure what it has to do with theism. Now "I am a Man", on the other hand, sounds suspiciously like something that Barney, the purple dinosaur, would reject.
Posted by: janeothejungle | May 8, 2008 10:19 AM
Where is the Christian disco? Or Christian hiphop?
Posted by: Tulse | May 8, 2008 10:21 AM
Christian Rock is neither!
It sure ain't Christian - the music should glorify their god.
And it sure ain't Rock - it's simply called bad music.
Bad Music with a few Jeebi thrown in.
South Park did it.
It's really all the same across the board with whatever they touch - it doesn't need to be quality work because it's for the glory of their lord. Church office workers have a similar affliction - the telephone voicemail announcement has info from 2 months ago - doesn't matter, they're doing it for Jeebus. The web page listing upcoming events stops a few months in the past - doesn't matter, they're doing it for ...
There is an old southern saying (southern U.S.A for you out-of-towners) that goes something like, "Well, bless their heart." which loosely translates to, "Those poor retards."
Bless their heart.
Posted by: WRMartin | May 8, 2008 10:21 AM
When Dylan went through his born again Xian phase in the late '70s, he put out one pretty good "Xian rock" album, 1980's Slow Train Coming. I haven't listened to it in quite a few years, but I remember it being passionate, inspired and not insulting to this atheist. So Xian rock isn't *all* bad--but then, it's kinda unfair to compare most pop artists to Dylan for anything.
"Gotta Serve Somebody":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvcNv7crXFY&feature=related
Posted by: Will E. | May 8, 2008 10:22 AM
When Dylan went through his born again Xian phase in the late '70s, he put out one pretty good "Xian rock" album, 1980's "Slow Train Coming" I haven't listened to it in quite a few years, but I remember it being passionate, inspired and not insulting to this atheist. So Xian rock isn't *all* bad--but then, it's kinda unfair to compare most pop artists to Dylan for anything.
"Gotta Serve Somebody":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvcNv7crXFY&feature=related
Posted by: Will E. | May 8, 2008 10:25 AM
John
I have a strong affinity with "Amazing Grace" for many personal reasons (most of them not religious, oddly). Typically, I end up so emotional that I can't help crying.
Yeah, I cried when Spock died too.
Posted by: boomer | May 8, 2008 10:36 AM
Someone must preserve this stuff for future generations...
I dunno. I see this stuff as more being in the category of high-level radioactive waste. As in: an unfortunate byproduct of our contemporary reality we have really little right to inflict upon future generations. Preservation won't be the problem. Safe and responsible disposal is.
... I'd suggest launching it into the sun, but man, what if the launch vehicle fails? Vapid pap of that level of toxicity, spread through the atmosphere, coming down in the rain? I shudder to contemplate it.
So let's go for the concrete bunker buried deep in the middle of a craton. Best we can do, for now, sadly.
Posted by: AJ Milne | May 8, 2008 10:37 AM
MS:
Chortle. I really, really wanted to use nothing but Messaien at our wedding, but the organist couldn't play any of it.
Posted by: Epikt | May 8, 2008 10:39 AM
I thought they were HI-larious and shared this link with all of my friends. Thank you for the morning laugh, PZ!
On a side note, once while standing in line at Disney World, I had some Christian metal douchebag tell me that he played xian music "just to score with the chicks" which.... is just the right mix of funny and pathetic.
Posted by: Donut | May 8, 2008 10:40 AM
Around 1990, when Usenet was where all the cool kids played, there were quite a few online music communities. For awhile they put out compilations of user-submitted music. There were rare exceptions, but the majority of it was beyond dreadful. Metalheads with three chords and no sense of time. New-agers who found Yanni too harmonically sophisticated. Earnest singers who performed long explorations of the quarter tone scale, by accident. Introverted nerds doing totally sequenced Berlin School electronica, thus avoiding having to actually interact with other humans. And, from the talented end of the tape, shopping mall jazz.
I've always thought that nothing could be worse than those old tapes. Until now.
Posted by: Epikt | May 8, 2008 10:44 AM
Evanescence gave up being a christian band because some of the members liked coke better.
Posted by: Steve_C | May 8, 2008 10:50 AM
Unless it's hilarious songs like in that South Park episode, I'm not touching this.
"I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing jesus, I want to feel his salvation all over my faith!"
Posted by: Michelle | May 8, 2008 10:51 AM
So much for the argument that religion is responsible for so much of the world's great works of art.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 10:52 AM
Given that the term "rock and roll" itself was a euphemism for fornication, and that the entire genre is built on the twin pillars of sex and rebellion, it's no wonder that Christian Rock sucks ass - they are orthoganol to the entire point of the music.
I am going to go and listen to Religious Vomit by the Dead Kennedys now.
Posted by: aiabx | May 8, 2008 10:53 AM
That wasn't so bad, really.
Maybe that's just because "Doc's" commentary was a great antidote for the ironic hell that the singer's unleashed.
Posted by: Ryan F Stello | May 8, 2008 10:55 AM
I've read that Zao also no longer consider themselves Christian metal. They drifted away from it by picking up a few new band members who weren't Christians, if what I read is correct. Now they consider themselves an "open-minded" band that happens to contain a few Christians. That's a description that sits just fine with me. If I could understand any of the lyrics without looking them up, then I could voice an opinion on how believable that account is.
Posted by: Schmeer | May 8, 2008 10:58 AM
It's much safer reading the lyrics than listening to the songs. But I did click on this one:
http://www.deuceofclubs.com/tunes/demos/03thats_peculiar.htm
... and listened for about ten seconds. It's about what you'd expect if you hit the members of Devo over the head repeatedly with sledgehammers while they were performing "Whip It".
Whip it good ...
Posted by: Rick at shrimp and grits | May 8, 2008 11:01 AM
I expect you've all seen these sweet kids singing a "new gospel song" on Lawrence Welk's show.
Posted by: SplendidMonkey | May 8, 2008 11:02 AM
KKMS has a link to a Dr. Poppe. He has a web site that offers teaching supplements that take a non-evolutionary view point. Here is a blurb about the one for physics:
"A 40-page condensed course in "Physics" that covers energy versus matter,kinetic versus potential energy, Newtonian laws of motion, the laws of thermodynamics, steady and variable change rates in moving objects, Einstein's theories of relativity, nuclear physics, and quantum mechanics- all from a non-evolutionary perspective"
maybe he will offer some other "non-" courses:
non-copernican astrophysics
non-wegnerian geology
non-daltonian chemistry
wait, he already has one on chemistry:
"A-40 page condensed course in "Chemistry" that covers atomic theory, sub-atomic particles, the periodic table, compounds and mixtures, reactions, inorganic chemistry, organic (life-related) molecules, and supposed chemical evolution - all from a non-evolutionary perspective"
Posted by: rob | May 8, 2008 11:05 AM
Peter Murphy of Bauhaus fame is a Sufi Muslim. But I would categorize him as a musician who happens to profess a faith rather than a representative of a genre of religious music, even though it has influenced his lyrics.
The Muslim punk scene has gotten some attention of late.
And don't forget Yidcore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L63ET8UTA8I&feature=related
Posted by: Colugo | May 8, 2008 11:06 AM
So, is this the thread where I admit Matisyahu is a guilty pleasure of mine?
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 11:12 AM
Incidentally, the latest album by José González was inspired by the God Delusion. In your face, Mark Ravenhill!
Posted by: windy | May 8, 2008 11:13 AM
i just noticed something about the call letters of KKMS.
if you look up the ascii values of K,M and S you get 75,77,83.
add up the digits in M: 7+7=14 and 1+4 is 5.
add up the digits in S: 8+3=11 and 1+1 is 2.
now take 5-2 and you get 3.
add the digits in K: 7+5=12 and 1+2 is 3.
so MS reduces to 3 and K reduces to 3 also!
that means MS is really K!
the call letters for the radio station are KKK!!!
Posted by: rob | May 8, 2008 11:15 AM
The only quality Christian rock music I've ever heard was Lincoln Brewster (his first album in particular) and the OC Supertones (a Christian ska band). And I don't mean quality by Christian rock standards, I mean that with secular lyrics these guys could have been quite successful. Of course, the lyrics are unbearably annoying to a non-Christian and probably to a lot of non-evangelical Christians as well. These aren't Creed lyrics... these guys aren't afraid to say Jesus.
Every other piece of Christian music I've heard is terrible. The worst thing is hearing my little brother listen to it as if it is acceptable (he burned his secular music collection a year or so after becoming a Christian). It's such a shame because, like me, he plays guitar with some talent.
I don't think I will partake of these demos.
Posted by: davidstvz | May 8, 2008 11:16 AM
OK, I listened to That's...Peculiar, and as a Slav, I say to her: fuck *yawn* you!
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 11:17 AM
Colugo :
Cool thread :) This brings back many memories.
Back when i started listening to extreme metal, one of the few radio shows that i found was a christian metal radio show. I thus got into bands like Believer, Mortification, Vengeance Rising, Sacrament , etc . Some of those bands were very competent indeed. I still like Believer , a band whose musical output , at least , was respected in the thrash metal scene. No one could accuse them of being bad musicians . The thrash metal band Vengeance Rising may have been christians but they were definitely one of the more extreme bands of the time and their vocalist was a freak (he's even more of a freak now that he turned into a cartoon satanist) ! They were very much into all the gory old testament stuff.
One of the most unvoluntarily funny christian bands i knew of was the australian Vomitorial Corpulence (what a holy name !). I think those guys were basically a bunch of grind/gore freaks who grew up xians and just didn't have the courage to let it go, so they decided to write gore lyrics about how jesus was tortured, and how sinners' bodies will rot in hell , etc . They thought that was spiritually uplifting :)
Finally, Antestor is also very high quality metal music .
With all that said, christian rock wasn't very effective in turning me into a believer , to say the least :)
Posted by: ogunsiron | May 8, 2008 11:17 AM
Actually, Neal Morse's religious albums aren't bad. He used to be the front man for the prog rock band Spock's Beard, but then he went born again. It didn't hurt his songwriting abilities.
Posted by: Quiet Desperation | May 8, 2008 11:20 AM
(.)(.)
Posted by: wÒÓ† | May 8, 2008 11:21 AM
Eeesh. They all chose to write in the key of "brown noise" and now there's shit all over me and my chair...
Posted by: Milo Johnson | May 8, 2008 11:22 AM
It's even odder than that, since it's not as if evolution is an alternative to modern physics -- it's a complete non-sequitur. It's like offering courses on stamp-collecting from a non-evolutionary perspective, or box-girder bridge building from a non-evolutionary perspective, or accounting from a non-evolutionary perspective.
Posted by: Tulse | May 8, 2008 11:22 AM
Hedningarna plays the best religious music there is, invocations to Ukko and Akka, "Pornopolka"-type seduction charms, now THAT'S good religious music.
Gotta admit, though, my last name ends in a vowel, so a well-done rendition of "Ave Maria" will still get the tears-a-flowing.
Posted by: Longtime Lurker | May 8, 2008 11:25 AM
I don't think I've seen it put down better than on a Fox cartoon (King of the Hill):
Hank (to a "hardcore" christian rock band): "Can't you see you're not making christianity any better, you're just making rock 'n roll worse".
Posted by: dwarf zebu | May 8, 2008 11:28 AM
Here's a link to some kid on youtube playing a solo off the first Brewster album, (to give you an idea without anyone having to suffer the lyrics). Of course, the playing on the real album is tighter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yo9BBrXpTMg&feature=related
Posted by: davidstvz | May 8, 2008 11:30 AM
Shopping mall jazz. Sweet, sweet shopping mall jazz. Listening to some as I walked through Books-a-Million the other day, I noticed a sign for "Christian Fiction". To be honest I never did check to see if they had a "Christian Nonfiction" section. If so, I wonder how many what they fill it with?
I have a Christian friend, a man who happens to be very intelligent (otherwise). He also happens to be an audiophile. His musical tastes don't suck (e.g Pink Floyd fan). He has tossed me tidbits of 'Christian Music" that he claims are 'really good'.
I have never listened to it because (post Godspell) my impression of Christian Rock is mirrored by those who post here.
FWIW, here's a couple of those bands. Jars of Clay is one I remember and the other...checking itunes....Ben Harper. Anybody out there got an opinion on either of them?
I have a pretty good collection of good religiously themed songs that I really like. Most of them appear to be offering thanks and praise to some guy they refer to as Jah.
Here's my vote for this week's top Atheist religious tune:
Fast Car by Wyclef Jean (featuring Paul Simon)- Carnival II
Samples lyrics
Enjoy.
Posted by: Tim Fuller | May 8, 2008 11:37 AM
Hey I think you're all missing the real hidden gem on that site. The big prize is the link to the super-groovy retro Jesus clip art. http://www.iheartchaos.com/2008/01/28/super-jesus-patriotic-clip-art-art/
heh, nothing says Incest like two children praying.
Posted by: MissAgentGirl | May 8, 2008 11:38 AM
@ AJ #42
My greater concern on the sun-launch would be that that much suck concentrated in one place would collapse into a black hole, and consume the sun. Now, I'm working on ways to live off of Hawking radiation*, but I'm not quite there yet.
* They called me MAD at the Institute. MAD! But I'll show them ...
Posted by: Ranson | May 8, 2008 11:46 AM
I didn't know Kenyans were so into the hymns.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 11:46 AM
Noticed how all things non-sense are plagued by oxymorons?:
christian rock
intelligent design
discovery institute
As Quiet Desperation (#62) pointed out Neal Morse still writes great music... maybe execept his awful ? album... if you can get past the title, Sola Scriptura is actually really good, Paul Gilbert on guitars and Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater) on drums.
Time for some Eruption/Running with the Devil from good ol' Eddie Van Halen.
Posted by: Kaddath | May 8, 2008 11:48 AM
I know Jar's of Clay was popular (in their way), but I never took to them. I think their music was a little too atmospheric and bland for my taste.
Posted by: davidstvz | May 8, 2008 11:48 AM
What about Dylan's 1980 album "Slow Train Coming"? His flirtation with born-again Xianity in the late '70s resulted in that--as I remember--quite inspired and passionate album. That's the only "Xian rock" I've ever heard that was any good.
Posted by: Will E. | May 8, 2008 12:00 PM
@ Tim #69
JoC has put out some decent stuff, musically. They've got a lot of competence and actually had a bit of mainstream success in the '90s.
Ben Harper, if it's the guy I'm thinking of, is a secular musician who might turn out some, "Hey, I've got some religious roots" music every once in a while. His biggest mainstream hit was "Steal my Kisses", I think, around 2000-2001, and there wasn't a bit o' the Jesus in that. I'd classify him in a vein with early Dave Matthews or Jack Johnson (who he worked with), but that doesn't exactly fit. It gives a place to start from, though.
Posted by: Ranson | May 8, 2008 12:01 PM
davidstvz, I also think the OC Supertones were pretty kick-ass, despite the lyrics.
I mean, most of Bob Marley's output is specifically religious, and still great.
Posted by: Cain | May 8, 2008 12:04 PM
Epikt (#43): "I really, really wanted to use nothing but Messaien at our wedding, but the organist couldn't play any of it."
One of our nieces got married last year and the church had a list of organists that you had to choose from. I'm not sure how they ended up with the one they did, but she couldn't even play the Doxology, which presumably she played every Sunday of the year at her regular church job. Her "performance" of everything else was on a par with these demos.
As virtually everyone in my wife's family (her father, all her sibs, all their spouses, and all their kids) is a musician (mostly amateurs but some pros) the amount of giggling going on in the pews as the organist slaughtered one standard after another almost disrupted the wedding (I mean, if you can't play Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring or the Trumpet Voluntary you have no business masquerading as an organist, certainly not charging good money for your services) . One of my sisters-in-law and I had to keep elbowing each other in the ribs when the other would start to moan or laugh too loudly.
PS--Love Messiaen. We got married outside so no organ, or we certainly would have used some Messiaen at our wedding. What's the world coming to when an organist doesn't have at least some Messiaen in his/her repertory? It's not ALL incredibly difficult.
Posted by: MS | May 8, 2008 12:07 PM
MissAgentGirl, I clicked through to the pictures, and they're great!
The fifth from the left on the first row of images has at least one real-world counterpart: the Hill of Crosses in Northern Lithuania.
Wiki describes it thus: "Over the centuries, the place has come to signify the peaceful endurance of Lithuanian Catholicism despite the threats it faced throughout history."
I've wondered how much 'sacred places' are reminiscent of the pagan pre-Christian past of the local people.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 12:14 PM
"I didn't know Kenyans were so into the hymns."
Nice! Do you think Ladysmith Black Mambazo (I know, wrong ethnolinguistic group) were chiding Paul Simon for being a "secular coastal elite" throughout their backing vocals?
Posted by: Longtime Lurker | May 8, 2008 12:14 PM
Hi -
A little self-promotion... mcthfg is the polar opposite of a christian rock band. It says so right on our site.
Music made by atheists. And the world didn't end.
http://www.myspace.com/mcthfg
Posted by: Christopher Wing | May 8, 2008 12:15 PM
More than 70 comments, and *still* no mention of Stryper!
Philistines!
Educate yourselves: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stryper
Posted by: Quiet Desperation | May 8, 2008 12:17 PM
No, tell me more! Are they?
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 12:17 PM
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Sweet Smoking Jesus! I don't even care what the music is. Can I get that on a concert T-Shirt?
Posted by: Quiet Desperation | May 8, 2008 12:19 PM
I never really understood why Christian rock has to be as bad as it is. You would think that if God was so important to these people, they would put some effort into not sucking.
Posted by: Jenny | May 8, 2008 12:25 PM
I think it's a numbers game Jenny. How many people try to make good Christian music vs. good normal music? Then there's also the lure of traditional rock staples (sex, drugs, money) that isn't there in Christian rock. It's only natural that Satan gets the best rockers.
Posted by: davidstvz | May 8, 2008 12:29 PM
Milo Johnson (#64):
That sound you just heard, Gentle Reader, was my soda spraying across my computer monitor.
I have had a handful of "spiritual" experiences in my life (a better adjective might be numinous). The first was, I'd say, when F = ma clicked with me and blew my six-year-old mind. Another, years later, was the time I saw superfluid helium. More recently than that, I was standing in the front row at a Mary Prankster concert. . . in drag. . . and something happened which I will not try to encapsulate in words, except to say that "Irresponsible Woman" is now my canonical standard for "religious music".
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 8, 2008 12:29 PM
OT: I really like the word 'numinous', Blake, and I wonder if we shouldn't use it more often to demonstrate the fulfillment of awe and wonder that many of us feel about the universe without having to manufacture a god. I think it exemplifies the passion that Sagan and Feynman had that they ignited in so many others.
Posted by: Brownian, OM | May 8, 2008 12:36 PM
I had a college roommate who was all about the Christian rock, particularly Petra. It was awful. I had to cleanse the room with the Pixies' Doolittle or some Nirvana each time he turned off his stereo and left. I also had a friend in high school who loved Stryper. So I've done my jeebus-rock time, and I think I'll skip those links, thank you very much.
I really like Ben Harper, though; I just skip over "those" songs. Same with Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.
Posted by: markbt73 | May 8, 2008 12:51 PM
This thread is bringing back some long-repressed memories from my time as a christian (hey, it was high school and all my friends were doing it!). One of the christian metal tapes I used to ha