…and this is a 
Pray for Larry Langford
Category: Kooks
Posted on: May 1, 2008 12:35 PM, by PZ Myers
That crazy mayor of Birmingham who dressed up in sackcloth and ashes is in a little trouble right now.
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on Wednesday said it has charged the mayor of Birmingham, Alabama, and two of his friends in connection with an undisclosed payment scheme in municipal bond deals.
The SEC said the chairman of Alabama investment bank Blount Parrish & Co made more than $156,000 in undisclosed payments to Mayor Larry Langford related to municipal bond offerings and swap agreements Langford directed on behalf of Jefferson County, Alabama.
It seems to be a general rule: the more outwardly pious you are in public, the more likely you are to be privately unscrupulous and dishonest.
Let us do the Christian thing, though, and give Langford all the help he deserves: pray. Pray real hard.
Comments
"For who is so dissolute that he does not maintain some appearance of sobriety in his public affairs? It is by the activities of our leisure time that we are betrayed. Is it not the case that many previous emperors spent this part of their lives on gambling, fornication and extravagance, thereby substituting the strain of pursuing vice for true relaxation?"
-Pliny the Younger, Panegyricus (82.9), 100
Posted by: Carlo | May 1, 2008 12:38 PM
I'll pray to the birdbath out back. Seems to work about as well as anything else I've tried.
Posted by: mikespeir | May 1, 2008 12:41 PM
so we're not going to brun him at the stake?
I already had my torch and pitchfork out...
Posted by: thethyme | May 1, 2008 12:42 PM
You can only burn him if you can scientifically prove he is a witch (warlock). Although the methodology is simple, just see if he and a duck weigh the same.
Posted by: randy | May 1, 2008 12:48 PM
Ahahaha...I love that this happened on the eve of the National Day of Prayer. And is being announced on Pharyngula *on* the NDoP.
Perfect.
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 1, 2008 12:48 PM
Meh, they are still trying to out dumb my state of Florida, tsk tsk! Will they never learn?
Posted by: firemancarl | May 1, 2008 12:51 PM
I suspected he was dirty, but I assumed he was just in the pocket of Big Burlap.
Posted by: Moggie | May 1, 2008 12:52 PM
The perfect trinity, all wrapped in one guy: sanctimonious twit, illiterate moron (see Brayton's post), and now politician on the take.
Posted by: Eamon Knight | May 1, 2008 12:53 PM
Well, what do you know? Prayer DOES work!
Posted by: Eximious Jones | May 1, 2008 12:54 PM
In the tradition of good laws raised by the internet such as Godwins law, Clark's Law, Poe's law, and Hanlons Razor...
may I suggest PZ's law?
the more outwardly pious you are in public, the more likely you are to be privately unscrupulous and dishonest
Posted by: Techskeptic | May 1, 2008 12:55 PM
National Sackcloth and Ashes to cover your guilt for bilking your constituents day
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 1, 2008 12:56 PM
Yes, but do we have photos of this jackass in the sackcloth and ashes? It'd make a nice avatar or desktop.
Starbix
"Don't Panic." -Douglas Adams
Posted by: Starbix | May 1, 2008 12:57 PM
Dang my post got held up due to links....perhaps t will show up later..
In the tradtion of good social perspectve related laws: Poe's, Godwins, Clark's, and Hanlons Razor may I suggest a new one?
PZ's Law
the more outwardly pious you are in public, the more likely you are to be privately unscrupulous and dishonest
Posted by: techskeptic | May 1, 2008 12:58 PM
You're on a roll today
Posted by: Derik N | May 1, 2008 1:00 PM
Let's not forget that in the US a person is innocent until proven guilty. That said, I'm sure prayer will give him all the help he deserves.
Posted by: Bad Albert | May 1, 2008 1:00 PM
Sorry, PZ. I just can't bring myself to say a prayer to anywho for anything. It almost makes me ill to watch others do it.
Posted by: Angel Rose Young | May 1, 2008 1:01 PM
I would love to go up to the morons when they are behind bars, throw the sackcloth at them and suggest that their god come to save them. Good grief, the insanity!
Posted by: Holbach | May 1, 2008 1:02 PM
There are a series of photos here, of him and some of his friends. There's also a YouTube out there somewhere but I'll leave finding it as an exercise for the reader.
Posted by: Geoffrey Alexander | May 1, 2008 1:03 PM
I would pray for him but I am currently using my sackcloth shirt to catch the oil dripping from my pickup. Maybe tomorrow.
Posted by: d simpson | May 1, 2008 1:10 PM
"Oh sweet baby Jayzus, please burn this sinner in the eternal pit of fire. May demons sodomize his unholy rectum with their tools of satan... with love, forever and ever, Amen."
Am I doing it right?
Maybe we can pray to Odin?
"Odin, please beat this guy's head in, he's a dick. And don't let him get in to Valhalla, not much of a warrior."
I'm winging it, I haven't met any followers of Odin, but I think that's how they'd pray.
Posted by: Schmeer | May 1, 2008 1:11 PM
I'm channeling Nelson Muntz right about now.
Ha-ha!
Posted by: Larry | May 1, 2008 1:12 PM
OBVIOUSLY this is a ploy by Satan to destroy this man of Gawd. Just when he got the whole city prayin and speakin in tongues.
Posted by: Neslock | May 1, 2008 1:13 PM
Shouldn't he already be in jail for, I dunno, using taxes to support a prayer event? Oh wait... that's not illegal for some reason...
Posted by: Dennis N | May 1, 2008 1:15 PM
"Big Burlap" - LOL!
One day, I hope to have a career as a spokesperson for Big Borshch.
Posted by: Kseniya | May 1, 2008 1:19 PM
I see all the villagers are ready with their torches and pitchforks. How about we give the guy a trial that ends in a conviction before we tie him to the stake.
Posted by: catman | May 1, 2008 1:20 PM
#17
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You just made my day my friend! Yes Birmingham, this is the guy that a majority of you believed was competent to run their city! Ah, good times.
Starbix
"Don't Panic." -Douglas Adams
Posted by: Starbix | May 1, 2008 1:20 PM
# 13
I thought it was only Jesus and his followers who appeared on bread products.
Posted by: Matthew | May 1, 2008 1:27 PM
"O Lord, make mine enemies ridiculous."
Done.
Posted by: madder | May 1, 2008 1:28 PM
So, he is deserving of sackcloth and prayers.
I guess he really did hit bottom.
Glen Davidson
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: Glen Davidson | May 1, 2008 1:28 PM
Pray real hard.
Okay, there's this flood see. And a guy on the roof. And he...
:lol:
Posted by: Moses | May 1, 2008 1:36 PM
Okay, this is unforgivably off-topic, but this is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.
Oh, and I will pray for Mr. Langford, as in, I will eat this BK Steakhouse Burger that I have sitting in front of me. Will have the same effect as prayer, with the addition of making me feel deliciously greasy and full.
Posted by: EntoAggie | May 1, 2008 1:38 PM
er...you got the deity wrong: Demeter, noble among goddesses, gave birth to Wealth, in union of intimate desire with the hero Iasius in a thrice-turned fallow field, in the rich Cretan land: Wealth, a goodly god, who goes over all the earth and the broad back of the sea, and whoever encounters him, into whosever hands he comes, makes him rich and bestows much fortune upon him. pg 32 Theogony, Hesiod. Just my opinion, but the guy should have known Discordia usually follows Wealth around just for fun.
Posted by: Patricia C. | May 1, 2008 1:38 PM
Wow. That didn't take long.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | May 1, 2008 1:39 PM
You guys are missing the point. He dressed up in sackcloth and ashes to ask God to do something about the crime problem, and look, God is starting to catch the criminals. So prayer works!
;)
Posted by: Deacon Duncan | May 1, 2008 1:40 PM
Re #33:
Oh that's rich! I may have to get religion now! :)
Posted by: JRY | May 1, 2008 1:46 PM
If we don't all pray real hard, Tinkerbell will die!
Posted by: GDad | May 1, 2008 1:49 PM
Ia! Ia! PZ fthaghn!
Posted by: Flamethorn | May 1, 2008 1:51 PM
What is sad is that this Mayor planned the sackcloth and ashes display in full knowledge that these charges were in the works. So it seems that he might have been trying to wrap himself in the religious cloth to drum up supporters for his upcoming ordeal at the hands of the other robe-wearing profession in this country - except I don't think that judges, in general, will be moved much by his little act of dirty piety.
Either that, or the ashes they used for that ceremony were burned official documents, and he was just giving himself an easy way to get rid of the evidence...(
Either way, this guy is going down and it is going to be FUN to watch.
Posted by: brokenSoldier | May 1, 2008 1:52 PM
"the more outwardly pious you are in public, the more likely you are to be privately unscrupulous and dishonest."
That is true, but there are different forms of public piety.
Gunther Grass: The truth-telling conscience of a guilty nation who concealed his own past activities in the SS.
Arthur Miller: Social scold and champion of the little guy; hid his Down Syndrome son in an institution for decades.
Jean-Paul Sartre: Advocate of social justice and global anti-imperialism; during the Vichy period he took a job left by a Jewish professor and had his plays performed; after the war he presented himself as being a member of the resistance. Sartre enjoyed deflowering virginal minor students, manipulating and discarding them with the assistance of "feminist" associate Simone de Beauvoir.
And so many more righteous scolds who in real life were woman and child abusers, memoir fabulists etc.
Posted by: Colugo | May 1, 2008 1:53 PM
"PZ's Law
the more outwardly pious you are in public, the more likely you are to be privately unscrupulous and dishonest"
...and, as an addendum, also more likely to hide perfectly legal actions that are only scandalous because they are hidden, such as homosexuality and sexual fetishes.
Posted by: Jason Failes | May 1, 2008 1:53 PM
Brilliant, Deacon, and spot on!
Posted by: Tulse | May 1, 2008 1:56 PM
"Let us do the Christian thing, though, and give Langford all the help he deserves: pray. Pray real hard."
But, but, prayer doesn't really wo... Oh... Never Mind!
Posted by: J-Dog | May 1, 2008 2:10 PM
Looks like to me that the prayer worked. He prayed for less crime and the Feds came in and took a criminal off the streets.
I guess you did not know that God was like the monkey's paw.
:-)
Posted by: A Lurker | May 1, 2008 2:16 PM
Schadenfreude -my favorite vice!
Posted by: jsn | May 1, 2008 2:26 PM
er- actually it may be my fourth or fifth favorite vice, but it's still very satisfying...
Posted by: Jsn | May 1, 2008 2:32 PM
"PZ's Law:
the more outwardly pious you are in public, the more likely you are to be privately unscrupulous and dishonest"
Wow Techskeptic, I was thinking the exact same thing, only I'd nominate the name "Myers Law."
Someone must have an account at RationalWiki. And there are tons of great examples worth listing. Ted Haggard comes immediately to mind.
Let's make this Internet Law happen!
Posted by: Jay | May 1, 2008 2:59 PM
I'll start an account tonight.
BTW, who was that wackadoo religious guy caught in the scuba suit in a hotel room.
Posted by: techskeptic | May 1, 2008 3:08 PM
This is a test
Posted by: Tim Murtaugh | May 1, 2008 3:26 PM
I guess he should have restricted his investment portfolio to sackcloth futures.
Posted by: xebecs | May 1, 2008 4:02 PM
I remember when Larry Langford was on TV news, before he was mayor of Fairfield and had a statue of himself erected at the local theme park, which was before he was on the county commission and allegedly perpetrated these deeds, which was before he was elected mayor of Birmingham. I didn't think my opinion of him could sink any lower, but wrong I was. His megalomania is right up there with Richard Scrushy's, which is saying something.
Posted by: moioci | May 1, 2008 4:16 PM
Colour me shocked, shocked I say. Obviously a plot by the AEC to bring down this godly man, yeah right.
BrokenSoldier, I think you are right, it will be interesting to see how many of his fellow god botherers rally to his defence after that farce with the sackcloth.
Posted by: John Phillips, FCD | May 1, 2008 4:31 PM
I guess he should have restricted his investment portfolio to sackcloth futures.
Why do I suddenly get the impression that somebody is going to be buying a cartload of hairshirts?
Posted by: Kristine | May 1, 2008 5:05 PM
What is this talk of "PZ's law" or "Myers['] law"? The insight is much, much older:
Let me say it a third time: Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
How fortunate that I do not possess an irony meter.
We have a winner.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | May 1, 2008 6:18 PM
Techskeptic, Google: Rev. Gary Aldridge. I wonder what hi final thoughts were. Maybe something like, "Oh shit, they're going to see me like this!"
Posted by: C. M. Baxter | May 1, 2008 6:20 PM
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 1, 2008 6:35 PM
Seems this sort of thing is NOT limited to Birmingham-big surprise.
In my little KY town the County Judge, who refused to pull down the Ten Commandments despite the ruling that it was unconstitutional and held a prayer day was found to have embezzled 30,000 from the county government. The odd thing is, he was never prosecuted and got re=elected 4 years later mostly by our god fearing towns folk.
Seems our people never learned nor did the desciples.
Posted by: Charles Cusumano | May 1, 2008 10:11 PM
The random quotation just now seems quite appropriate:
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers - Oscar Wilde
Posted by: Matthew | May 1, 2008 10:17 PM
Y'know, sometimes I just step back for a moment, forget for a moment all that I have learned about the ridiculous insanity of many of the people around me, and suddenly start laughing a lot.
I mean, consider the fact that we can write this sentence, and have it actually accurately refer to a real news story: "That crazy mayor of Birmingham who dressed up in sackcloth and ashes is in a little trouble right now."
It is a little bit funny, isn't it? Sad, but nevertheless -- funny.
Or maybe I'm just becoming hysterical from too little sleep and too much idiocy...
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 1, 2008 10:26 PM
Cheaters! They're wearing street clothes under their sackcloth. Half the point of wearing sackcloth is to get yourself all scratched up in some very uncomfortable places. And the ashes are for grinding into the resulting abrasions.
pennatints. ur doin it rong.
OTOH, Darth Vader reading Revelation was an appropriately scary theatrical touch!
Posted by: themadlolscientist | May 1, 2008 11:23 PM
Just for laughs, also from the Birmingham Weekly:
Proclamation of the Hypocalypse
Posted by: themadlolscientist | May 1, 2008 11:49 PM
Amen. Really, it seems like every person capable of forming a hypothesis based on existing evidence hit that conclusion long ago. After all, what unscrupulous fraud wouldn't salivate at the instant credibility piety brings.
Posted by: Master Mahan | May 2, 2008 12:15 AM