…and this is a 
Unclear on the concept
Category: Religion
Posted on: May 13, 2008 5:23 PM, by PZ Myers
Just what we need — another evangelical Christian theme park, this one in the planning stages in Tennessee. This one has one particular instance of blinkered blindness, though, that I thought was rather funny.
The Park is planned as an "edutainment" experience, combining education and entertainment. The Park is without a particular religious ideology or theology and does not promote specific religious beliefs of any kind; instead, it is designed to bring to life history of Biblical times and stories from the Holy Bible.
If you read the rest, you'll learn that this thing is taking fundamentalist, literalist reading of the Christian bible entirely for granted…how this translates into an absence of theology or specific religious beliefs is hard to understand, unless these people are so oblivious to the narrow theological domain of their beliefs that they are unable to imagine its grossly sectarian nature. Or unless they're really stupid.
Comments
Where I come from that's called "irritainment."
Posted by: Reciprocating Bill | May 13, 2008 5:32 PM
A little from column "A" and a little from column "B".
Posted by: Coyote | May 13, 2008 5:33 PM
It's just their way of putting Catholics down.
Posted by: MikeM | May 13, 2008 5:35 PM
So it's kinda like an Aesop's Fables theme park?
Posted by: Kseniya | May 13, 2008 5:38 PM
175 million Dollar investment? I think this place is in praise of the God Mammon
Posted by: adam | May 13, 2008 5:38 PM
Disingenuous to boot.
Posted by: BMS | May 13, 2008 5:38 PM
It's easy; the fundamentalist viewpoint:
a)Isn't a religion; it's a personal relationship with god
b)Isn't a sect; it never split off from anything, it's derived directly from the bible
c)Isn't an ideology; it's the way things really are, and you just can't see that because of your liberal bias
Of course, it's a relationship with god that involves a lot of superstitions and pointless rituals, most of the people in it came to it from other sects and it was set up by people unhappy with the more conventional kinds of religion, and it's derived directly from the bible the way Answers In Genesis is derived directly from The Origin of the Species... but that all works. You just can't see how because of your liberal bias.
Posted by: wazza | May 13, 2008 5:38 PM
Surely not?
Posted by: VWXYNot? | May 13, 2008 5:38 PM
It's for Evangelical Southern Baptists AND Fundamentalist Southern Baptists.
Posted by: aiabx | May 13, 2008 5:44 PM
I'll go with oblivious *and* stupid!
Posted by: Dusty59 | May 13, 2008 5:48 PM
They took one lie from Ken Ham's creation museum:
Posted by: Curt Cameron | May 13, 2008 5:48 PM
Like they said in the Blues Brothers, "We have both kinds of music; country AND western!"
Posted by: psychman | May 13, 2008 5:48 PM
Doublethink, anyone?
Posted by: M. Feldman | May 13, 2008 5:48 PM
It's for people who have yet to grow a brain.
That website is hysterical!! OMFNEG!! This place is being marketed to people with a 2nd grader's grasp of things. Wow. They should just name it "Bible-Land, where the mysteries of the Bible come to Life!". Morons.
Posted by: Alex | May 13, 2008 5:50 PM
"unless these people are so oblivious to the narrow theological domain of their beliefs that they are unable to imagine its grossly sectarian nature. Or unless they're really stupid."
I think you just repeated yourself there PZ.
Posted by: Ego, Egoing, Egone | May 13, 2008 5:54 PM
Wazza has it right -- they're using a definition of "religion" which doesn't include their own views.
Religion is man's way of trying to bring God down to his level. It's about rules and buildings and people.
This contrasts with THEIR understanding, which is emphatically not a religion. It's either:
1.) A personal relationship
2.) God as God really is, and not the way man wants Him to be.
3.) "Spirituality"
This, by the way, is the definition of 'religion' they'll sometimes use when they start talking politics. You meet someone who agrees with you that we need to keep religion out of government. Separation of Church and State, you bet.
"But, of course, one cannot and must not separate GOD and State."
And then they smile and think they've said something very deep, very profound, and gained all sorts of respect points for having the sensitivity to refuse to "interpret" God, but just allow God to BE God. And you stand there thinking they're being disingenuous, and pulling a fast one that shouldn't fool a baby.
Posted by: Sastra | May 13, 2008 5:56 PM
Check out this section of their site:
http://www.bibleparkusa.com/news.html
They're getting some sort of government kickback for building this thing.
Posted by: Stephen Couchman | May 13, 2008 5:59 PM
Alas, none of MY questions appear on the FAQ page. Also note that they elected a FOR-profit status because they "learned that some Bible-based projects around the country were struggling because their not-for-profit nature limits what experiences they can offer due to inadequate funds." I'll BET they did.
I love it that there's a tab labeled "Facts". They wish!
Posted by: Eximious Jones | May 13, 2008 6:03 PM
Oh, boy! I get first dibs on the jesus-pony ride!
Posted by: Larry | May 13, 2008 6:03 PM
I thought there already was an evangelical Christian theme park. In Kentucky. Yes, yes, I know they call it a "museum," but I always thought a museum was a place where items of scientific, historical, or cultural importance are displayed. The abomination in Kentucky certainly doesn't fit that bill. Thus, it's a theme park.
And one evangelical Christian theme park is already one too many.
Posted by: BoxerShorts | May 13, 2008 6:04 PM
I bet Ken Ham is kicking himself and beating up his collection of straw men right now.
The creation museum settled for a lousy 17 million. They should have gone for a creation theme park. Rides, robots, bars, restaurants, fireworks at night, sound and light show, the whole Disneyworld thing but slanted towards fundies. The dinosaurs alone would have put them near the top.
Posted by: raven | May 13, 2008 6:06 PM
I wonder if they'll have larger-than-life "biblical" mascots roaming the park, posing for photos. They could have the Big-J, Moses, Mary, the other Mary, Big-J's crew....that would be cool - in a holy kind of way.
Posted by: Alex | May 13, 2008 6:08 PM
Yup, I think they're trying to be ecumenical and magnanimous in that they will entertain people of all (xtian) faiths. (See aiabx's "It's for Evangelical Southern Baptists AND Fundamentalist Southern Baptists" post above.) It' the Blues Brothers' all kinds of music, country AND western writ large.
That, and yes they're stupid.
Posted by: AlanWCan | May 13, 2008 6:08 PM
But a theme park is less sciency.
Posted by: Kseniya | May 13, 2008 6:09 PM
I want to go see the crucifixion ride! Then right after that - the witch burning show (they use REAL witches!!).
Posted by: Alex | May 13, 2008 6:10 PM
It looks like pure "Tard," but it has been cut to the bone by an even more dangerous, cheaper, and easy-to-manufacture "product" of fundie pushers the world over - "Dishonesty."
Posted by: Sioux Laris | May 13, 2008 6:10 PM
There's a ride called "Rapture", it's kind of like a slingshot.
Posted by: SplendidMonkey | May 13, 2008 6:11 PM
I'll call your bet and raise you. They need to jazz up the biblical thing. Restaurants, bars, waterpark, "exotic" dancers, shooting gallery, etc.
They need to rip off Disneyland, Las Vegas, and every carnival ever to hit the road and combine them with 1 part fundie religion. Got to have a casino. A wedding chapel.
Posted by: raven | May 13, 2008 6:13 PM
Of course they'll have the Hell ride - with lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Posted by: Alex | May 13, 2008 6:15 PM
From their FAQ:
1. Bible Land Fly-Through indoor ride that boasts the newest generation of IMAX-like technology with surround imagery
Newest generation IMAX-like technology? Hooray for science!
2. Exodus Experience, an indoor experience featuring the parting of the Red Sea with high-tech standing 25-foot waves and image projection
High-tech standing waves and image projection? Hooray for science!
3. Entire Teen area with an enclosed ride, coffee house, sports arcade and retail shops;
State-of-the-art recording studio where teen choirs and church choirs will be invited to record;
State-of-the-art recording studio? Hooray for science!
4. Recreation of Noah's Ark and a play where animals from the Ark will act and
Animals? Hooray for evolution!
5. Places for youth groups and Bible study groups where they will be surrounded by the full text of the New Testament inscribed on a stone wall.
Stone wall? Hooray for... Well, okay. That sounds context-appropriate.
Posted by: BoxerShorts | May 13, 2008 6:18 PM
The guy behind all this is a former Penthouse photographer. I bet he forgot to mention that in his "literature."
Posted by: Dr.Bob | May 13, 2008 6:19 PM
. . . and you're all visualizing this dead wrong. Stop thinking Biblical Disneyland, start thinking bronze-age Palestinian Renaissance faire-analog, staffed by the kinds of people who run Hell Houses and happy to serve you scantily clad belly dancers as long as you know they're damned.
Posted by: Stephen Couchman | May 13, 2008 6:21 PM
From the website:
...and I'm sure that will be authentic! that's right: authentic biblical foods. Maybe a nice shawarma?
No Lot's wife turned to salt? Jonah puked up by a whale? Job's daughters etc.? Women being stoned to death?
I like the idea of larger-than-life biblical characters wandering around and yucking it up for kids, but we'll need some really good characters. The four horsemen of the apocalypse? Goliath? Creepy ol' man Methuselah?
I'm sure you guys can do better...
Posted by: Sven DIMilo | May 13, 2008 6:24 PM
I like raven's mention of a casino. That's got to be the most fundy/prayer oriented industry in America (and many other countries).
It will both attract and indoctrinate their type of audience.
Posted by: Janicot | May 13, 2008 6:25 PM
these people are trying to force my grandmother off the land she has lived on for the vast majority of her life... its rather sad, actually...
Posted by: enneract | May 13, 2008 6:27 PM
"...Job's daughters etc.?"
I want to go on THAT ride....with his daughter's, not ...well. You know.
Posted by: Alex | May 13, 2008 6:28 PM
Hey PZ!
Let's have a poll and see.
Do you believe Fundamentalist Monotheists are:
(A) - So oblivious to the narrow theological domain of their beliefs that they are unable to imagine its grossly sectarian nature.
(B) - Really Stupid.
(C) - Practitioners of the only True Religion.
(D) - Both A & B.
(E) - Don't Know.
Posted by: Jaycubed | May 13, 2008 6:28 PM
They have a version of whack-a-mole called smite-the-Amalekite.
Posted by: J | May 13, 2008 6:32 PM
Do you thing they'll have an exhibit of Christians stoning adulterers? I've always wanted to see that!
Posted by: nicnicholson | May 13, 2008 6:33 PM
"I wonder if they'll have larger-than-life "biblical" mascots roaming the park, posing for photos. They could have the Big-J, Moses, Mary, the other Mary, Big-J's crew....that would be cool - in a holy kind of way.
Posted by: Alex"
I WANT LOT! . . . WITH OOOZZING SORES!
.
Posted by: Jaycubed | May 13, 2008 6:34 PM
Will they have different zones a la Disneyland?
I bet the 'Life of Job' sector will be sparsely attended.
Posted by: idahogie | May 13, 2008 6:35 PM
Here we go again!
"Why Rutherford County, Tennessee?"
[...]
"The Nashville-Davidson-Murfreesboro MSA is one day's drive from 75% of the U.S. population."
Posted by: CalGeorge | May 13, 2008 6:36 PM
Hmm... I have a feeling we could get into some constitutionality issues here. Look at FAQ #10. They're using TIFs (Tax Incremental Financing) to pay for the park.
TIFs are essentially handouts from cities to developers; the cities return (or don't collect) a portion of property taxes to developers, with the understanding that developers bring in other indirect revenue (more homes = more residents = more spending, etc.)
While I've seen TIFs and TIDDs used for residential and commercial ventures, I'm highly suspicious of that strategy being used for a religious-themed development (despite what they say).
Anyone got the Supreme Court on speed dial?
Posted by: Benny the Icepick | May 13, 2008 6:37 PM
You have to remember: Here in Tennessee, saying "I understand evolution" or "Maybe that Bible passage is metaphorical" means you have a liberal theology and people won't take you seriously.
Posted by: James | May 13, 2008 6:37 PM
"Here we go again!"
LMAO
Posted by: Kseniya | May 13, 2008 6:37 PM
Maybe the whole world is made up of Christians and apostates. And the only true religions are the various sects of True Christianity.
Posted by: NP | May 13, 2008 6:37 PM
The Park is without a particular religious ideology or theology and does not promote specific religious beliefs of any kind; instead, it is designed to bring to life history of Biblical times and stories from the Holy Bible.
Aww they're such open minded people. It's really nice to see that this day and age!! Nice people.
Posted by: 386sx | May 13, 2008 6:38 PM
@#37
OOOOOH! I know this one! It's C, right?
Wait this isn't multiple choice? Damnit, I'm still in finals mode...
Posted by: Dante | May 13, 2008 6:39 PM
Maybe the whole world is made up of Christians and apostates.
Anoint the apostates!! Nointy noint noit!! Noooooooooo...
Posted by: 386sx | May 13, 2008 6:41 PM
. . . except for biblical literalism. Impartiality--you're doing it wrong!
Posted by: Nimravid | May 13, 2008 6:46 PM
This ain't about religion, it's about the money, honey.
The guy behind it is an Israeli who ran tours so evangelicals could visit the Holy Land. Obviously he saw the big bucks shelled out by the rubes, and wanted to chash in on the slightly poorer, slightly dumber, stay in the country crop, expecially when the dollar doesn't buy a fish, much less a chip in Europe anymore. So where else are these people going to take little Jim Bob & Hannah on vacation, Dubai?
As with most things, for the answers, follow the money.
I think it will be a hit with the target demographics. He can cross promote with Dollywood & Ham's Flintstone Museum
Posted by: Benjamin Franklin | May 13, 2008 6:49 PM
I want to ride through the Tunnel of Sin.
Posted by: Ryan | May 13, 2008 6:49 PM
I am really tired of the intolerance on this websight to people that perfer the Bible to Disney hey cinderela is not for everyone.
It is sad all the hate on here. If someone wants to go on BIble rides instead of athiest roller coasters HEY SO WHAT. We all know liberals and atheists hate the kind of parks with holesome Bible sories all they want is Disneyland with Mikie Mouse. typical.
All you do on here is show intolerance and hate. Bible Parks are better that is my OPINION. I know a athiest (Bill) he likes Donald duck but at least he respects my religious feelings and I respect him. Hes not always trying to tell me I am stupid and a moron and a idiot just because I like stories from the hloy Bibble. Everybody knows liberals like Disneyland and hate bible rides. Its sad.
Posted by: Kenny | May 13, 2008 6:50 PM
Ha! Has anyone looked at the "3-D site flyover?" I can't imagine a more incompetently-produced piece of computer animation. It looks like a sixth-grader's computer class project.
Posted by: BoxerShorts | May 13, 2008 6:52 PM
Yeah, they're trying to build it right down the road from where I live. But in defense of (some) Tennesseans, most of us are fighting it as hard as we can. The builder of it has even been campaigning door to door to get the residents' support.
Posted by: memyrald | May 13, 2008 6:52 PM
What are those things at tourist traps called? YOU know -- those boards with a character's body painted on but with a hole cut where the face would be and you stand there with your own face stuck in the hole for a photo? I'm picturing Jesus on the cross only it's MY face. That would be awesome!
And instead of a Tunnel of Love, you can take a nice boat ride on a river of fire!
Posted by: Eximious Jones | May 13, 2008 6:57 PM
I saw in the news today that the Vatican says it's okay to believe there's life on other planets. Now, I know these Fundie parks think all Catholics are Hellbound, but I think if they ran with this idea, that other planets have life (some of it more advanced than what we have on earth, even), they could come up with some really great performances at this park.
You know, Jesus on the Planet Regulah, something like that. Where those other beings are also made in God's image.
Sort of a Holy Star Wars thing, or "Honey, I Shrunk The Heathens."
Or, bringing it back to Earth, "Be Swallowed By A Real Whale!" (I think the story of Jonah is one of the most pointless stories contained in the Bible. I don't care what VeggieTales says. But it'd still make a cool ride. "Daddy, are we in the big fish's tummy now??").
Posted by: MikeM | May 13, 2008 6:58 PM
my vote is for really stupid
Posted by: Roy McKenzie | May 13, 2008 7:01 PM
Posted by: Kenny | May 13, 2008 6:50 PM
almost, parody Kenny, almost.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 13, 2008 7:01 PM
How exciting! I can't wait to see the diorama where David sleeps with Jonathan like a man with a woman.
Posted by: Rub R. D'Key | May 13, 2008 7:02 PM
Boy, I don't remember my Bible stories very well. I WANT JOB, NOT LOT.
And I actually have a Job Biblical action figure with the oozing sores.
Posted by: Jaycubed | May 13, 2008 7:03 PM
Why does that sound familiar?
Posted by: wintermute | May 13, 2008 7:04 PM
Pretty good faux-Kenny, there, Sven (?) but still detectably satirical.
Seriously, though - this park isn't necessarily dedicated to biblical literalism. They are stories, after all, and if the park really isn't pushing religion per se, the maybe it really is just a Storyland kind of park. (Hence my Aesop comparison earlier.) Literalists are the minority, but plenty of people like the stories / parables / fables / whaddevah.
In any case, LOL @ "Tunnel of Sin" :-D
Posted by: Kseniya | May 13, 2008 7:06 PM
The minute I saw the words "blinkered blindness," I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if Kenny chose this thread as the next one to hop onto?" And he did!
Kenny, it's your opinion if you think these sorts of theme parks are better than Disneyland, but it's a fact that they are lying when they claim that "the Park is without a particular religious ideology or theology" and that it "does not promote specific religious beliefs."
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 13, 2008 7:06 PM
and at night, after the kiddies are asleep in the authentic biblical motel, out in back of the authentic biblical steakhouse and cocktail lounge: the Sodom and Gomorrah Show and Revue!!!!!!
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 13, 2008 7:08 PM
"Through Mr. Paldi's work as the owner of a travel company taking American Christian pilgrims on trips to the Holy Land"
I kid you not I've encountered this lot in Jerusalem. A bunch of wailing, sweating, fat-arsed, pastel polyester pant clad, middle-age losers fighting, and I mean literally bickering and arguing, over who gets to carry to faux wooden eight foot cross for the next ten feet along the Via Delorosa.
My dad and I nearly wet our pants laughing at them and their red, puffing faces and the earnestness that pulling this damn thing up an incline in 25 degree heat with sacks of putrid garbage everwhere(garbos were on strike that week)was going to somehow put them on a higher spiritual plane and make them "more religious" than you.
We followed them with a vid camera for about a mile before we got bored and wandered off for some piss poor Israeli coffee.
Same bloody lot were at Bethlehem to next day and, bugger me if we didn't also encounter them at Masada all crying and pretending to be in the mind set of the zealots. If we hadn't already discovered Israel was pretty much a shithole by that stage then it might well have ruined our holiday.
Posted by: Bride of Shrek | May 13, 2008 7:09 PM
Wait...that wasn't really Kenny?
My satire-detection is going...maybe I need to get away for a while....
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 13, 2008 7:10 PM
(Etha, you may not be aware of the roots of the running joke that's (re-)starting here. One of the big selling points for the location of the Creation Museum was that it's within 12 hours drive of 75% of the population of the USA or some such thing.)
Posted by: Kseniya | May 13, 2008 7:11 PM
the Sodom and Gomorrah Show and Revue!!!!!!
Also known as the Last Supper.
"This is my body...take...eat...rowr!"
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 13, 2008 7:12 PM
(Not that the real Kenny would use the word "hapless.")
Posted by: faux-Kenny | May 13, 2008 7:13 PM
$175 million? Well "Speed Racer" cost almost $300 million to make and promote, so that sounds like a bargain AND people might buy tickets.
This will be good, though. Most Americans don't witness a goat sacrifice very often, so now they'll just have to check the show schedule and see one in the park's central plaza at 11 am, 1 pm, 3 pm, and 4 pm. Remember to take your plastic parkas, sacrifices can be quite messy...
Future memory: {with Randy Quaid accent}
"Hey, Ruby-Sue, 'member when I pretended to sell little Betty-Jean to that guy for a parka? That was fun. Good times. I just wish them characters would let us take their pitchers, but I guess we hafta respect their beliefs that our cameras steal their souls. Ya never know, right?"
Posted by: TJ Lawson | May 13, 2008 7:14 PM
I wonder if this is something that many of the fundamentalist churches do? When I was young, the church my parents brought me to what was called a non-denominational church. The pastor was proud of the fact, and always made a point to say, that our church was not based on any particular ideology...we just read the Bible and do what it says. Funny that they do not see that they do have a specific belief system....they take the Bible as literal truth.
Posted by: Humanist Mama | May 13, 2008 7:25 PM
"holesome Bible sories" wins the thread.
Posted by: CJO | May 13, 2008 7:26 PM
Mmm, 'exotic dancers'. Salome's dance of the seven veils... yummy. Severed heads served up on platters....
Posted by: tim rowledge | May 13, 2008 7:31 PM
I got a better name for this park: "Snoozeland". Or perhaps "Six Flags Over Mommy and Daddy Hate Me".
Damn, "Kenny" actually had me going until the last paragraph there.
Posted by: Rey Fox | May 13, 2008 7:32 PM
It's all about the $$$. No, they're not stupid, but they intend to make a fortune of of the really stupid. Business as usual.
Posted by: TomDunlap | May 13, 2008 7:33 PM
No ideology but assumes the veracity of the bible? Must be getting co-sponsored by the History Channel.
Posted by: Milo Johnson | May 13, 2008 7:37 PM
@#37 Jaycubed --
Vote here!
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 13, 2008 7:42 PM
You are seeing it in the wrong way. When they say "without a particular religious ideology or theology", they mean they aren't going to push any particular thin slice of pentecostal theological thought. Tithing? Speaking in tongues? Dancing? All kinds of weird stuff.
Posted by: blitter | May 13, 2008 7:42 PM
When they say "without a particular religious ideology or theology", they mean they aren't going to push any particular thin slice of pentecostal theological thought. Tithing? Speaking in tongues? Dancing? All kinds of weird stuff.
I sure hope they have a snake handling attraction. Maybe a game where you have to throw cottonmouths at each other. The first one to get bit and live wins a big stuffed plush Jesus.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 13, 2008 7:49 PM
The Park also includes a Bible Study Center where groups can come, meet and study.
That was way too easy.
ice
Posted by: ice9 | May 13, 2008 7:54 PM
Oh, I'm sure the Big Bucket O' Snakes will be a big seller at the self-serve cafeteria, where "The Lord Helps Those Who Help Themselves!"
Posted by: Kseniya | May 13, 2008 7:57 PM
Just don't bring your kids to Lot's Bar and Grill.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 13, 2008 8:00 PM
so I drive my 12, arrive at The Park, pay my money, say my verse, and enter with Tonto, my loyal guide dog. In the first restroom I peel off and don my pestilent loincloth, exposing the festering sores, and apply a liberal amount of the violent stench I've smuggled in. Dose up the sores with some peanut butter and POOM I'm Lazarus at the Gate, well trained Tonto licking away, wealthy Thumpers stepping over me, holding their noses. now that would be fun.
ice
Posted by: ice9 | May 13, 2008 8:01 PM
And don't look in the back.
Posted by: Kseniya | May 13, 2008 8:03 PM
or the Hellfire and Brimstone Barbecue Pit
(man, in the unlikely event these guys have a sense of humor, there's so much that could be done with the concept)
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 13, 2008 8:04 PM
or the Hellfire and Brimstone Barbecue Pit
MMMM...shrimp grilled in prosciutto over crab cakes with a big ol' bloddy mary for Sunday Brunch?!
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 13, 2008 8:06 PM
Why not a Speaking in Tongues Karaoke Bar?
Posted by: Eximious Jones | May 13, 2008 8:17 PM
At all the eateries, the salt shakers should be in the shape of Lot's wife.
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 13, 2008 8:19 PM
Easy answers to simple questions:
how this translates into an absence of theology or specific religious beliefs is hard to understand, unless these people are so oblivious to the narrow theological domain of their beliefs that they are unable to imagine its grossly sectarian nature. Or unless they're really stupid.
For the owners, the answer isn't hard to understand - don't scare off the sheep before you shear them (ie., PR BS). For the customers, the answer is also simple: as you suggest, they're just plain stupid. The also think that they don't have an accent, unlike New Yorkers, the British, and San Francisco Liberals.
My family once almost ended up at the theme park for the Jim & Tammy Fay Bakker swindle, when my parents failed to recognize the names until they saw the billboards - the ad in the AAA guidebook had avoided almost any religious references and just used the BS "family" crap. We stopped, we enjoyed their pamphlets (der Bakker bakery and Jesus flume, if I recall correctly were the highlights), and got the hell out of the there. Should have saved the pamphlet - someday that'll be a collectible!
Posted by: frog | May 13, 2008 8:20 PM
We should send them our suggestions.
Posted by: Etha Williams | May 13, 2008 8:23 PM
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 13, 2008 8:23 PM
I'll be first in line for the ginormous Betty Bowers statue that's perched right above that pesky natural gas leak.
Posted by: raindogzilla | May 13, 2008 8:24 PM
Why not a real Crucifixion ride? Real spikes and all. I mean, if these Christians really want to relive the Bible stories and mirror Jesus life - why not just go for it?
Posted by: Suspect Device | May 13, 2008 8:24 PM
"athiest roller coasters" -Kenny
That is the most awesome thing I have ever heard.
Anyway, this "park" is to be built in my backyard- literally. Well, at least where I used to live. I still work in Rutherford county, so I get to see this whole fiasco right up front. Here is a link to articles about the park in the local paper: http://search.dnj.com/sp?aff=101&keywords=Bible+Park
Posted by: Deepsix | May 13, 2008 8:31 PM
Amen, Suspect.
Posted by: Clyde Mays, Jr. | May 13, 2008 8:31 PM
Oh, and here is the article about the park being "Green". This story was also on NPR this morning: http://www.dnj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200880512011
Posted by: Deepsix | May 13, 2008 8:35 PM
There will be this neat BBQ restaurant in Liberal-Athiest Sinner Land called the Hell's Rib Joint and they'll always be out of hot dogs, the cole slaw will have pineapple in it, and they'll only serve German potato salad.
Posted by: Larry | May 13, 2008 8:42 PM
Thanks for the suggestion link Etha!
I proposed that they include a field for Biblical battle reenactments (Jericho, Gideon vs. the Midianites, etc) complete with loudspeakers to emit the sounds of screaming babies and wailing mothers, as they can't use real babies...that's our department :)
Posted by: Pimientita | May 13, 2008 8:51 PM
If I could just interject here as someone who's not only from Tennessee but Nashville, close to where this park is proposed (and where I've been hopeful on the few occasions I've heard it mentioned on the news that it faces an uphill battle) not all of us Tennesseans are idiots. Admittedly no one's said that so far, that I've seen; comments about the location have centered around its convenience rather than the fact that there are some seriously stupid rednecks in Tennessee. Hey, you find stupid rednecks everywhere, right? In fact I'm pleased no one's made such cheap shots, and, saying this in all seriousness, the next time some moron (not faux-Kenny but a REAL Kenny) accuses you of dishing nothing but hate, many of you have made intelligent, well-informed--and DAMNED FUNNY remarks about this. Anyway on any election map Davidson County is a dot of light blue in a sea of red. That makes us a big fat target for the idiots.<