Pharyngula

Must go wash eyeballs and ears now

Admit it: you’ve been wondering what Fred Phelps thinks of George Carlin. If you’d rather not click, rest assured: it’s exactly what you might expect.

Comments

  1. #1 Clan:Rewired
    June 28, 2008

    Such heartwarming Christian love, understanding and acceptance… oh wait…

  2. #2 siliconopolitan@gmail.com
    June 28, 2008

    errr – doesn’t Phelps pretty much think the same about everybody?

  3. #3 Lynnai
    June 28, 2008

    No, really I wasn’t, and it’s just as well as I don’t have sound. But I had already heard rumours of old Feltching Phelps protesting the funeral.

  4. #4 Benjamin Franklin
    June 28, 2008

    Carlin said-

    “When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.”

  5. #5 Ruane
    June 28, 2008

    Hilariously stupid and infuriating at the same time. You just cannot parody this stuff…

  6. #6 Andrés Diplotti
    June 28, 2008

    Well, if Carlin is in Hell, he won’t miss things to laugh at. An orderly universe requires that there are Christian of good standing down there, for practical reasons.

  7. #7 AlisonS
    June 28, 2008

    Hell would be spending an eternity with the likes of Fred Phelps.

  8. #8 The MadPanda
    June 28, 2008

    Phelps? Never heard of him. :P

    Must be some sort of lazy good-for-nothing if all he has to do with his life is rant about better people than he on the Internet and go gate-crashing funeral rites. Is he perhaps diseased?

    Oh, I see. He’s a ‘holy fool’. Well, best not stare, then. He might attack like a rabid baboon.

    The MadPanda, FCD

  9. #9 Kel
    June 28, 2008

    Ahh, Fred Phelps. The loving bastion of shining light that Jesus always intended for the earth…

  10. #10 Wookster
    June 28, 2008

    Wait, Jerry Seinfeld? …. Really?

  11. #11 eyerock
    June 28, 2008

    I really dont think it is a good idea to give these attention mongering whores anymore press than they can fish up themselves by being disgusting hell pimping jesus sluts.

  12. #12 toomanytribbles
    June 28, 2008

    this kind of thing would be highly amusing if he had wasted his own life only… unfortunately, he’s bad news to his entire family.

  13. #13 extatyzoma
    June 28, 2008

    phelps is one of the few people on this planet who deserve to have just 1 cubic mm of flesh plucked from him by everybody who he is says is going to hell, im not sure what his volume is but thats going to take many, many 1000’s of people.

    thats what he deserves, just for hating EVERYBODY except himself.

    rather like being nibbled to death by a praying mantis feet first.

    I hate to say this but but when i heard that falwell had died it actually made me feel happy, i felt rather elated that somebody was dead, thats quite a horrid thought but there you go and i didnt even know him, in the same way the passing of phelps (and chance alone suggests that he will pass before i do so i will experience it) will cause me to actually rejoice.

  14. #14 clinteas
    June 28, 2008

    PZ,thanks so much for making me familiar with all the lunatics in your country,one by one….

    So now Ive met Fred Phelps,a man with a facial expression like Hitler on Zoloft,a rhetoric like Goebbels on Viagra,and a brain the size of a fossilized tetrapod.Thanks PZ !

  15. #15 Ward
    June 28, 2008

    Can’t wait to crash Phelp’s funeral.

    Oh come on!

    You all want to be there!

  16. #16 Yoo
    June 28, 2008

    I never wondered what Fred Phelps might think of George Carlin, since I already pretty much know the sort of things he would be thinking. Bigots tend to have one-track minds …

  17. #17 Holbach
    June 28, 2008

    Wow! This asshole Phelps is the epitomy of deranged religion! Last week we had Mrs Tilton say Carlin is in heaven. Now this demented moron Phelps says he’s in hell! George, where the fuck are you? Phelps is the optimum example of religion gone beserk: unhindered, unhinged, unfettered, unequivocally and utterly unbelievable! And the moron is totally unaware that the sign “America Is Doomed” is realistically meant to foretell our future from the ravishes of demented religion! Yes, from our viewpoint it certainly is! Holy shit, is there no stopping this onslaught of religious madness? And the morons are going to picket his funeral! For what? To be sure he doesn’t make it to hell? If not for the perverted entertainment value, that video is to remind us of the danger this demented cretin poses. We are doomed if this madness is allowed to grow, which gives every indication that it most certainly will. Phelps, you are going to hell in a straitjacket!

  18. #18 Jonathan
    June 28, 2008

    After watching that video, I really do get the feeling that Phelps is some day going to turn around and say, “America, you just got punked! The Westboro Baptist Church WAS just a sick joke! Of course we don’t REALLY believe the things we’ve been saying! Who would?!” Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking :(

  19. #19 Seamyst
    June 28, 2008

    Ward @ #15:

    In the comments of one of PZ’s posts here (it was a few months back), someone suggested that instead of protesting Phelps’ funeral or anything, we instead celebrate by having an International Fuck-In Day (or something to that effect, can’t remember the exact name). Just have sex in whatever form or fashion you want, with whomever you want, all parties consenting adults… that oughta make him blow his top, don’t ya think? ;)

  20. #20 Paula Helm Murray
    June 28, 2008

    I won’t say the name, I commend you, PZ, for taking the bullet and watching the video.

    That festering dungheap of a creature is the one person who, despite my unbelief, I wish that the hand of God would come down, the voice saying, ‘you imposter, you are lying, you are not doing MY work,” and then a finger of a gigantic hand mush him into the sidewalk.

  21. #21 Holbach
    June 28, 2008

    Before I forget: In the July issue of Scientific American, page 40 “Opinion”, Steve Mirsky jokingly summarizes recent movies:
    “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed”

    A sad sack seeks a way to turn back time so he can live in the Dark Ages.

  22. #22 Robert
    June 28, 2008

    Hell would be watching a video of that Phelps ignoramus for eternity. Poor deluded fool.

  23. #23 Kate
    June 28, 2008

    I was pretty sure there was some stuff in the bible about not judging others, since as a lowly human and god’s creation you’re unfit to know the mind of god and unworthy of assuming what is his divine right: The final judgment of his creation.

    Perhaps my feeble atheist brain has misinterpreted vast swaths of a book I’ve read cover to cover repeatedly, though, so don’t take my word for it.

  24. #24 bigjohn756
    June 28, 2008

    What a useless piece of feces this guy Phelps is. How can any Christian be so arrogant and unforgiving as to usurp Almighty God’s power to condemn a person to hell. Mr Phelps obviously doesn’t model his life after the Lord Jesus and he certainly holds himself in higher esteem than he does Almighty God the Father.

    After watching this video, I feel much better being an unbeliever than having to clog my mind with such evil filth as this.

  25. #25 jase
    June 28, 2008

    I wonder what this kind of hate is doing to his health. Phelps and his brood are as sick and twisted as they come embodying Old Testament inhumanity. There can’t be a god, Phelps is proof.( But if anyone was a shoo-in for the Larry Craig Closet Award…)

  26. #26 Hal in Howell MI (not far from Hell, MI)
    June 28, 2008

    I’ll bet Phelps dies un-Raptured like Jerry Falwell. Sometimes I pine for the Rapture (like the fjords) so that all these jerks would be taken from our midst. I’m sure this sentiment has been echoed in these pages before.

  27. #27 Tabby Lavalamp
    June 28, 2008

    Personally, I think Phelps provides a wonderful service. He is often more biblically correct than, say, your average Episcopalian or other hippy-dippy salad bar Christians who like to pretend the Bible isn’t a vile books that doesn’t say what it says.
    He also exposed the hypocrisy of mainstream society, something I wish more people called the hypocrites on. Westboro has been active for many, many years, but most people either never heard of them or silently approved of what they were doing when they were only disrupting the funerals of the filthy homosexuals. It wasn’t until they started picketing the funerals of fallen soldiers that Joe Lunchbucket stood up and shouted back with red-faced outrage and various political bodies started enacting laws to prevent Westboro from picketing funerals. Well, soldiers’ funerals. It’s still open season on those nasty AIDS-ridden queers and their enablers because, I guess, they must be kinda asking for it by their “lifestyle choices”.

    Disclaimer: I can’t stand Phelps. He is a pustule on the underbelly of humanity. But except for his funeral-picketing actions, I don’t see him as being any worse than the Falwells or Robertsons of the world who seem to actively try to appear to be less hate-mongering even if they often share the same beliefs.

  28. #28 Mold
    June 28, 2008

    When your personal future is filled with no prospects, you get ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ for everybody else. Fred Phleps woke up one day and realized the most he could ever hope for was a dead-end job with no status. This dismayed him until he realized that a religio-scam was the ticket to fame, fortune, and avoiding jail time (see FLDS).

  29. #29 decrepitoldfool
    June 28, 2008

    Can’t wait to crash Phelp’s funeral. Oh come on! You all want to be there!

    No thanks. First, we’re not like him and second, when he’s gone let the darkness of obscurity pile up on him and take him away.

  30. #30 Andrés Diplotti
    June 28, 2008

    I was pretty sure there was some stuff in the bible about not judging others, since as a lowly human and god’s creation you’re unfit to know the mind of god and unworthy of assuming what is his divine right: The final judgment of his creation.

    Well, I’ve seen fundies interpreting the “judge not, lest ye be judged” part as meaning something like “if I judge others righteously, God will judge me righteously too!” There’s just no winning a game where your opponent keeps the scoreboard.

  31. #31 raven
    June 28, 2008

    Phelps and the Westboro church are broke. One of the families of military casualities whose funeral he disrupted sued and won an $11 million judgement for a civil tort. No doubt he hasn’t paid a penny on it but it is out there as legally binding.

  32. #32 Ken
    June 28, 2008

    Every word out of this lunatics mouth proves just how right George was. I have the misfortune of living in KS with this idiot. I was explaining to a friend from overseas that this is how hard freedom of speech is. I have to defend the right of this piece of crap religious nut to spew his hatred. If his country really wants freedom then this is part of it. I don’t have to like it but I have to do it.

  33. #33 steve zara
    June 28, 2008

    I have to apologise for my lack of stamina. I could only cope with a few seconds of that video.

    I was not that familiar with Carlin until recently. I am British. I had seen Carlin in the “Bill and Ted” movies, and was amazed by this cool guy (“Yes way”!). Only years later did I discover his comedy material, and the amazing effort he put into it. He was as much actor as comedian, and all the better for it.

  34. #34 Hairy Doctor Professor
    June 28, 2008

    29: he’s gone let the darkness of obscurity pile up on him and take him away.

    Unfortunately for us, Bill S. had this one pegged:
    “The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.”

  35. #35 Longtime Lurker
    June 28, 2008

    I have to confess, between the opening graphic, accompanied by that music, and the opening line, I was laughing out loud… I think Carlin himself would have laughed. What’s with Phelps’ getup, the camelhair coat and the T-shirt? It’s totally fabulous!

    As much as I abhor Phelps, the thing that really steams me is the viral e-mails attributing crappy conservative talking-points to Carlin. Phelps is just a poo-flinging hate-monger, but the viral stuff is a real character assassination.

    Carlin addressed these on his website:

    http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html

    There is no place for this stuff (shit) on the internet.

  36. #36 cactaur
    June 28, 2008

    All right! Someone bring the Rickroll to Carlin’s funeral.

  37. #37 Tim Fuller
    June 28, 2008

    Carlin in hell laughing his ass off at Tim Russert, who just happens to be a few folks ahead of him in the line.

    Enjoy.

  38. #38 Andrés Diplotti
    June 28, 2008

    Out of curiosity, I went and read about Phelps’s résumé in Wikipedia:

    He is known for preaching with slogans and banners denoting phrases such as “Thank God for 9/11″, “America is doomed”, “God hates fags,” “AIDS cures fags,” and “Fags die, God laughs (or mocks),” and claims that God will punish homosexuals as well as people such as Bill O’Reilly, Coretta Scott King, Ronald Reagan, and Howard Dean, whom his church considers “fag-enablers”. He has also thanked God for the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and the 2005 flooding of James Bay in central Canada.

    It seems to me that at least a couple of Carlin’s dirty words are taylor-made for this guy.

  39. #39 blf
    June 28, 2008

    Bigots tend to have one-track minds

    I suspect this is being exceedingly generous to Good Olde Fred. I’m unaware it has a mind, much less one with any tracks. If it did have a track, the track’s probably rusted, broken, with collapsed bridges, and of varying gauge. There are frequent derailments, many abandoned carriages, and no engines. The route follows a Möbius Strip, endlessly going back over the same ground.

    But that’s assuming it even has a mind …

  40. #40 catta
    June 28, 2008

    Guessed right.

    Y’know, life would be so much easier for Phelps if he made videos about people who aren’t going to hell according to him. Would save him a lot of bile, too, if he just talked about people he thinks are nice.

    Also, if I remember correctly, if it existed Hell would be completely empty at the moment, what with people not being sent there until judgement day… which is called judgement day because that’s when the whole naughty-or-nice-reckoning is supposed to happen.

    Sheesh. Even if you allow for his religious premises he’s wrong.

  41. #41 AmberCulbertson-Faegre
    June 28, 2008

    Phelps is getting old, huh?

    I hadn’t seen his videos in a while.

    I know it would be petty and immature, but it does make me want to show up to his funeral with signs.

    “We have no reason to think that this man’s death has anything to do with skymonsters”

    “There are no skymonsters to condemn homosexuality.”

    “I do not care about this man’s lifestyle.”

    “I do not care about the beliefs of others.”

    It reminds me of apathetic evangelism, a common practice in my hometown. They go down to where the evangelists stand with their signs, talking about who is going to hell, near the nightclubs and bars. The apathetic evangelizers begin preaching:

    “My opinions on morality are not relevant here.”

    “I have nothing of importance to say.”

    “I do not know if there is a hell, and I do not know if you are going there.”

  42. #42 Lynnai
    June 28, 2008

    I’m currently having fantasies of diverting the Gay Pride Parade through his living room. While he’s still in it for prefferance.

  43. #43 defectiverobot
    June 28, 2008

    Didn’t anybody find the video funny? Come on, people! What kind of legacy did George leave? I thought the signs spinning around the globe was a brilliant piece of work! I had a huge-ass grin on my face almost the entire time (the scripture quoting was a slog, but everything else was hilarious!).

  44. #44 Terry Small
    June 28, 2008

    This *is* satire. Right?

    ….right?

  45. #45 andyo
    June 28, 2008

    Wait, Jerry Seinfeld? …. Really?

    Posted by: Wookster | June 28, 2008 11:50 AM

    Yeah, of course. I’m not sure but I think Mr Phelps here doesn’t care for gays. Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” don’t remember?

  46. #46 --PatF in Madison
    June 28, 2008

    ..lemme see….

    On George Carlin’s website there is a dignified passage asking that, memory of him, his friends get together and have a private party where they laugh a lot. Then there is request for donations to the American Heart Association and to the Thomas Jefferson Center for Free speech.

    In Fred Phelps video, he spews hatred and loathing for all mankind.

    So which one of these is actually closer to Jesus? I’ll have to ask that to my Christian friends.

  47. #47 Mena
    June 28, 2008

    What I find amusing is that these die hard religionists seem to think that god believes in having a democracy. They seem to be teaching requirements that, if they were in charge, would get people into heaven. Isn’t telling god what to do a no no, and what got Lucifer into trouble? Am I remembering this correctly?
    Oh, and watching that entire video would have been comparable to eternity in hell, so I didn’t. Once he started quoting scripture I tuned out and then turned it off.

  48. #48 Danley
    June 28, 2008

    Is he drunk? He’s slurring his words like George Jones.

  49. #49 Janine, Disingenuous Jackass
    June 28, 2008

    Phelps thinks George Carlin is in hell? BFD. Phelps believes that 99.999999999+% of all humanity are either right now in hell or will end up there.

    Phelps is as consistent as the rocks that fills his head.

  50. #50 Dave Wisker
    June 28, 2008

    I get satisfaction knowing that Phelps will simply cease to exist when he dies. Fitting end for such a creep.

  51. #51 Lynnai
    June 28, 2008

    This *is* satire. Right?

    ….right?

    Not intentionally, but it might as well serve teh same purpose.

  52. #52 Kristine
    June 28, 2008

    I wonder, when he finally kicks teh bucket and realizes that he’s wasted his life, what Phelps’s last seven words will be?

  53. #53 Brian W.
    June 28, 2008

    here are my thoughts on Fred Phelps

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_wolXPDZXo

    Also he’s responsible for getting rid of the Jim Crow laws in Kansas and has an award from the NAACP for all the black clients he represented when he was practicing law.

  54. #54 Benjamin Franklin
    June 28, 2008

    In 1922, as Germany was being corrupted by the Nazi Party, and anti-semitism was taking hold, Albert Einstein was asked why he remained so cheerful given the depravity of the world.

    Einstein repsonded-

    “We must remember that this is a very small star, and probably some of the larger and more important stars may be very virtuous and happy.”

  55. #55 Tony P
    June 28, 2008

    I’m paraphrasing here but isn’t there a saying in the Bible that says “He who believes in me has life everlasting…”

    Well isn’t hell technically life everlasting?

    Phelps attacks on Oblermann and Seinfeld were priceless though. One dies, several other take that persons place in Phelps book.

    I can’t wait until that old fraud dies. I’m hoping there’ll be dancing in the streets.

  56. #56 Stanton
    June 28, 2008

    That festering dungheap of a creature is the one person who, despite my unbelief, I wish that the hand of God would come down, the voice saying, ‘you imposter, you are lying, you are not doing MY work,” and then a finger of a gigantic hand mush him into the sidewalk.

    The amount of divinely created handsoap that would be required to wash away the stain of Fred Phelps would also wash away the rest of the universe, too.

  57. #57 Tom
    June 28, 2008

    Fred Phelphs – the man who puts the fun into funerals, and the laughter into slaughter.

  58. #58 Holbach
    June 28, 2008

    Paul Helm Murray @ 20 Good grief, you just negated your unbelief with that statement! Did you consider this before you posted it, or really speaking with undefined doubt?

  59. #59 Holbach
    June 28, 2008

    Stanton @ 56 Your post in reply to the comment @ 20 is just as ridiculous as his, perhaps even more so! One illogical statement compounded with another! I hope this is not getting to be a regular habit with these type of comments here, as we have all we can do to accomodate the standard irrationalism.

  60. #60 Capital Dan
    June 28, 2008

    I wonder, when he finally kicks teh bucket and realizes that he’s wasted his life, what Phelps’s last seven words will be?

    Posted by: Kristine

    “Damn it. I just pooped the bed.”

  61. #61 DavidD
    June 28, 2008

    Shouldn’t we be seeing some ‘real’ Christians reaching out publicly to deny Phelps’ hate-mongering, homophobic, racist, insane messages?

  62. #62 Rey Fox
    June 28, 2008

    Wait a minute, you mean I actually have to watch and listen to it? I can’t just skim some text instead? Screw that.

    Of course, I long ago stopped being outraged at Phelps though. He’s dissing on Carlin now? Ah, so what? Carlin would just laugh at him (if Phelps ever had the balls to criticize people when they were alive, that is).

  63. #63 Capital Dan
    June 28, 2008

    It’s too bad Carlin is gone. I think he would be the perfect person to laugh at the antics of Phelps and his cult.

    Christians, real or not, won’t speak out too vocally against Phelps aside from shrugging and telling you he’s crazy. However, they have more in common with him than they’d like to admit, and criticizing Phelps means they would also have to criticize and question themselves for their own shoddy interpretations of the Bible.

  64. #64 sfatheist
    June 28, 2008

    I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. By the time he got to Keith Olbermann and Jerry Seinfeld my sides were hurting. And just think, this weekend we are celebrating Gay Pride in San Francisco (with a parade down Market St. Tomorrow) and this moron Phelps is probably praying for a massive earthquake to strike us down.

  65. #65 GraceM
    June 28, 2008

    Couldn’t watch this crap. Managed to last about 10 seconds before my stomach protested. Amazing how “god works in mysterious ways,” but every fool tells you exactly what god wants.

  66. #66 Bill S
    June 28, 2008

    Tom (#57)- and the “mental” in fundamentalist.

    He keeps saying America is doomed-why does he never LEAVE if he really feels this way?

  67. #67 Mark Borok
    June 28, 2008

    Fred Phelps and “The Tall Man” from the Phantasm movies. Separated at birth?

    http://www.mobius.name/blog/images/phantasm.jpg

    http://www.nndb.com/people/908/000025833/FredPhelps.jpg

    That would explain it.

  68. #68 JohnnieCanuck, FCD
    June 28, 2008

    If I had my druthers, it would instead be George commenting on Fred’s funeral.

  69. #69 E in MD
    June 28, 2008

    The only thing positive I can say about Phelps is that he is nothing if not consistent. Consistently evil. Unlike a lot of the less insane Christian talking heads out there you at least know where Phelps stands. He hates you. He whole heatedly believes you’re going to hell. You could be Jesus, and unless you’re in his cult – you’re wrong.

    It should be noted that most religious folks are at most two or three steps from Fred.

  70. #70 HombreMoleculos
    June 28, 2008

    Imagine what would happen if Christians didn’t have compassion.

  71. #71 Maakuz
    June 28, 2008

    Seriously, having a puking effect while laughing ones ass off is SO not cool.

  72. #72 scooter
    June 28, 2008

    Hollbach #17

    George, where the fuck are you?


    Right Here

  73. #73 scooter
    June 28, 2008

    #15

    Can’t wait to crash Phelp’s funeral.

    I went to a funeral and a frickin’ Gay Pride Parade broke out!!

  74. #74 aratina
    June 28, 2008

    That guy’s god is the most evil, filthy, disgusting one of all Christian god archetypes. It most closely resembles the god that Dawkins humorously calls out in his book The God Delusion. This guy and his followers just sicken and scare me. He was there at one of the pride parades in Alaska of all things and I don’t think the city had ever seen such vile protest signs. The local protesters themselves were wary of being near that group. *shiver* Even die-hard hate-speech sympathizers start to see limits to free speech when Phelps and his god, F–khead, arrive.

  75. #75 Kseniya
    June 28, 2008

    Even die-hard hate-speech sympathizers start to see limits to free speech when Phelps and his god, F–khead, arrive.

    I believe that’s spelled FKHD.

  76. #76 Peter Vaht
    June 28, 2008

    Hell must be a very busy place, where do they get all the room for the Norse, Mayans, Taoists, Shintoists, Sikh, Jain, Bahai’s, Muslims, Cavemen, Egyptians, Buddhists, Atheists and the rest of non-christians. If that is where George Carlin went along with Carl Sagan, Einstein, Scientists, logical and reasonable people, sign me up. Good thing Christians got it all figured out and are right about everything.

  77. #77 Lee Brimmicombe-Wood
    June 28, 2008

    Off topic: a brief sighting of Dawkins on Doctor Who this evening. Rollicking good fun…

  78. #78 Nick Gotts
    June 28, 2008

    Where are all the Christians explaining why Phelps’ Biblical quotations don’t mean what he says they mean?

  79. #79 scooter
    June 28, 2008

    #37

    Carlin in hell laughing his ass off at Tim Russert, who just happens to be a few folks ahead of him in the line.

    I see Carlin slapping him in the back of the head in line, then acting all innocent when Russert looks back.

    Repeat: Repeat:Repeat

    Here’s my Tim Russert Dead, who gives a shit piece that aired on WBAI last week. 3:26 min follows atheist song.

    WBAI NYC is coincidentally the station that played 7 dirty words, and fought the FCC all the way to the supreme court.

    and lost

  80. #80 scooter
    June 28, 2008

    #46

    So which one of these is actually closer to Jesus?

    42

  81. #81 scooter
    June 28, 2008

    #52 Brian

    here are my thoughts on Fred Phelps

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_wolXPDZXo

    Good one, nice twist….BWAHAHHA

  82. #82 Ragutis
    June 28, 2008

    I wonder if Phelch appreciates the similarities he shares with Muslim extremists.

    I simply cannot imagine anything being able to inspire such depraved extremes of bile and vitriol in a person. I guess it’s true that one can never do evil so cheerfully and willingly as through religious conviction.

  83. #83 Bob Russell
    June 28, 2008

    Phelps is a moron but at least he preaches what is actually in the bible…

  84. #84 cthulus minion
    June 28, 2008

    i cant believe no one posted this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niqVVENiY2c

  85. #85 Holbach
    June 28, 2008

    Bob Russell @ 83 Oh, so that sort of qualification exonerates him from being a moron? Or does that mean the bible is exempt from moronic interpretation? Good grief, look the statement over before you post it.

  86. #86 mena
    June 28, 2008

    Cthulus minion @ 84:
    Good video, and I’m surprised that no one posted this video.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y0bhlK0K6Q

  87. #87 Ferrous Patella
    June 28, 2008

    Is there any evidence that Phelps is not trying his dangdest to break Poe’ law?

  88. #88 John
    June 28, 2008

    if Phelps is in heaven when he dies, I prefer Hell by FAR! – I would HATE to be anywhere that man is

  89. #89 Longtime Lurker
    June 28, 2008

    I have to say that Phelps is better-dressed than I thought he’d be, did he get a makeover on “Queer Eye for the Hate Guy”?

  90. #90 Lago
    June 28, 2008

    People must repent! For God did order the US to legalize gay marriage. Massachusetts obeyed the will of God and we were spared, but the Midwest has denied the will of God (also known to his friends as “Peaches”) and so they are paying the price.

    Floods will continue to ravage the heartland of the US until they obey the will of God and legalize Gay marriage. (It also wouldn’t hurt if they took in a nice musical now and gain either…)

  91. #91 DaveG
    June 28, 2008

    What kind of God, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent and with nothing to do but listen to humanity’s petty bullshit, would allow such angry trolls to live among us?

  92. #92 Electro
    June 28, 2008

    Okay, maybe its because I’m Canadian and dont get it, but somebody please tell me that was satire…

    ’cause if it aint why doesnt someone down south live up to the U.S. reputation for being overly litigous and prosecute that pusillanimous, bowl circler for Hate Mongering.

    Or is that only illegal in cold countries?

  93. #93 Sioux Laris
    June 28, 2008

    A correction is in order: Rev. Phelps does not “think” in any sense of the word.

    Also, since his “ministry” is and will always be entirely, if viciously in person, impotent, he serves humanity by revealing to the more ordinary Shrub-voting, Xian, ignorant, [more unhappy & generally sad personal traits] ‘mer’KKKin how THEY look in the eyes of the rest of humanity, and encourages them to end their addiction to fear and ignorance.

  94. #94 Bill S
    June 28, 2008

    Electro, if being a complete asshole was illegal in this country, our jails would be more crowded than they already are.
    But are churches would be a little roomier.

    (Wait, is “roomier” even a word?)

  95. #95 Bill S
    June 28, 2008

    “OUR churches”.
    Good thing it’s not illegal to make stupid grammatical errors.

  96. #96 Paula Helm Murray
    June 28, 2008

    Holbach @ #58, that’s something I have wished sincerely for since that rat bastard started causing all the trouble he has. It started in Topeka and he’s caused all manner of trouble for gay people, etc. there, then he spread his nastiness abroad to my fair city (Kansas City, MO) and beyond.

    I don’t feel it negates my non-belief, it’s just a wishful thought/hope.

    He is probably the only individual in the world that I can say I truly hate. I hate him for all the pain he’s caused to people who love, who care, who think fondly of their dead relatives, gay or soldiers. Yes. His little family pickets the funerals of dead soldiers.

    There are recent rumors that he’s got Alzheimers or some other sort of dementia. But he’s trained his little family army well. And as for the lawsuits, I’m sure they’re going to be appealed until whenever they have to give up, because all his kids are lawyers.

    Every time I meet a Freedom Rider (they attend soldier’s funerals and make sure that there is a barrier of bikers between the asshole picketers and the families of dead soldiers), I thank them sincerely. They have patches on their jackets or vests.

  97. #97 Electro
    June 28, 2008

    Seriously, We’ve had people locked up in this country for spewing garbage like that in public.

    Granted it’s tough to be sentenced to more than about four years here even for murder, so they were out pretty quick.

    And, upon reflection, this guy does not seem to be of sound mind. So, I’ll just hope he dies peacefully and leaves as small a stain as possible.

  98. #98 GumbyTheCat
    June 28, 2008

    That vile motherfucker Phelps better hope the atheists are right.

  99. #99 Skwee
    June 28, 2008

    Peter:

    A very wise man once said “Go to heaven for the climate & hell for the company.”

  100. #100 JoJo
    June 28, 2008

    Phelps can be commended for one thing. He’s honest about his homophobia. Most fundamentalists aren’t.

    A very wise man once said “Go to heaven for the climate & hell for the company.”

    That was Mark Twain.

  101. #101 eigenvector
    June 28, 2008

    Couldn’t do it: 15 seconds of Phelps and I was gagging! Take it from me Phelps if there were a god George would be right there with him and they’d be laughing their heads off!

  102. #102 Emma
    June 28, 2008

    I watched the whole video. The most disgusting and troubling part came after he was done. The video ends by listing related sites (godhatesfags, godhatesamerica & priestrapeboys.com ) and a collection of picket signs (“thank god for dead soldiers” “thank god for 9/11″ “god hates you” “fags die god laughs” and several more on related misanthropic themes). One of these websites claims that god has killed 15 residents of Missouri for persecuting the Westboro Baptist Church. This could all be dismissed as the rantings of deluded misanthrope, if it weren’t for the emotional distress they cause at all the funerals the church’s members have picketed: aside from military funerals, this includes the funerals of those who have died of AIDS and a murdered rape victim.
    YCCH! I haven’t seen such vitriol since Anita Bryant and her Save Our Children campaign.
    The good news: his church only has 71 members, 60 of whom are related to him.
    Even better: The state of Kansas is now free to seize the property of him, his family and the church to satisfy a $5 million court judgment for defamation, invasion of privacy, and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

  103. #103 Katkinkate
    June 29, 2008

    Is there any truth in the belief that the loudest homophobes are actually reacting against their own homosexual feelings?

  104. #104 Bacopa
    June 29, 2008

    I was surprised he didn’t finish the Rich Man and Lazarus story. It’s got a real fire and brimstone ending: It says it would be useless to reseurrect a dead person because anyone who did not already follow Moses and the prophets was so incorrigibly sinful that the were so lost that this remarkable sort of revealation would be unpersuasive.

  105. #105 Quasarsphere
    June 29, 2008

    George Carlin is gone, but Fred Felch lives on. That’s ten big shiny points for atheism right there.

  106. #106 Scott
    June 29, 2008

    Damn, why does George Carlin die in his early 70’s, but this piece of shit lives forever?! He’s at least 100!

  107. #107 Kseniya
    June 29, 2008

    He’s pickled in his own bile brine.

  108. #108 themadlolscientist
    June 29, 2008

    I heard Phelps on the Infidel Guy show a while back. I don’t know when I’ve heard such out of control, hateful hysteria. He just about couldn’t get a sentence out straight. I swear I could feel the spit spraying out of my speakers.The man is TEH EVOL x 666!

    Trust me, the guy ain’t no Poe, he’s the genuine article. And yes, a large part of me would be deeply gratified to see a gay pride parade go by the church on the day of his funeral……

  109. #109 Rey Fox
    June 29, 2008

    According to Wikipedia, Phelps is 78. You can make your own judgments as to whether he looks that age or not.

  110. #110 CosmicTeapot
    June 29, 2008

    Emma, you watched the whole video?

    I turned off the volume after 30 seconds and read the comments. Life is too short for this scumbags opinions.

  111. #111 Another Primate
    June 29, 2008

    I would rather choke on my own vomit than ever hear that idiot ever say another word!!!

  112. #112 mjk
    June 29, 2008

    Ever notice the more of the bible they memorize the kookier they get?? or am I stepping into the fallacy of Correlation vs. Causation?

  113. #113 ngong
    June 29, 2008

    Meanwhile, back in the trailer park, there’s a turd sitting in a toilet that Freddie forgot to flush.

  114. #114 Matt
    June 29, 2008

    It’s actually a rather funny video if you watch it thinking it’s a satire.

  115. #115 Paul Lundgren
    June 29, 2008

    Katherine 103:

    I’m glad you said it. It’s called ‘projection’ in psychology. You condemn others for the qualities you hate most about yourself. It’s like Jase in #25 said about Phelps and Larry Craig: You can claim you’re not gay, but your actions speak VERY LOUDLY to the contrary.

  116. #116 clinteas
    June 29, 2008

    Paul,you cant reduce this lunatic to denial of homosexual tendencies,there is a deep-rooted collection of subconscious mechanisms at work here that all the psychiatrists in the world couldnt unravel in a lifetime.
    But in someone like this chap,there is no need to try and understand why he is what he became,because underlying this man’s evil is a conscious decision to be lying and deceiving,and we dont have to know why he started doing it.

  117. #117 Patricia
    June 29, 2008

    I hear this shit several times a week. In the store, at the gas station, yadda-yadda…hell even at the feed store they’ll go on about which corn to buy because such & such hires better christians than so & so does.

  118. #118 Arnosium Upinarum
    June 29, 2008

    That guy isn’t the likeable sort, is he?

    With christians like Phelps busily making hell on Earth, the other one is entirely redundant and superfluous.

  119. #119 Arnosium Upinarum
    June 29, 2008

    Yoo #16: “Bigots tend to have one-track minds…”

    That’s because assholes tend to have one-crack minds.

  120. #120 Arnosium Upinarum
    June 29, 2008

    I inadvertantly had my audio settings set for full “Concert Hall” reverb when I watched this..this…guy. Sternly spouting all that “Don’t let this happen to you” insanity. The effect was HILARIOUS and thoroughly CREEPED ME OUT.

    AAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhh…..

    Actually, Phelp’s fire-and-brimstone-flinging is a PERFECT epitaph to Carlin’s genius and honesty. If he was alive, he’d have laughed his ass off at it, then wrinkled his forehead up in that way he had that said, without speaking, “See what I mean?”

    Now I need to get a good electroshock treatment or lobotomy somewhere.

  121. #121 Arnosium Upinarum
    June 29, 2008

    eigen vector, #101 says, “Take it from me Phelps if there were a god George would be right there

    with him and they’d be laughing their heads off!”

    You may be right. After all, we have this most reliable source for it: “…now he must deal with

    God, face to face, forever. The lord thy God repayeth them that hate Him to their face….”

    – Fred Phelps, in this very video.

    Obviously, according to Phelps himself, God must be down there at the big barbecue with all them that “flipped Him off”.

  122. #122 Wowbagger
    June 29, 2008

    The word ‘scum’ is too mild for someone like Phelps. Vast numbers will rejoice the day his black heart finally gives out. George Carlin did more for the world in his lifetime than someone like Fred Phelps and his ilk could ever dream.

    Rufus, his character in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, uses a simple, straightforward expression that can (and should) replace all the ‘wisdom’ of all the religions of the world:

    Be excellent to each other.

  123. #123 Tz'unun
    June 29, 2008

    Amen, Wowbagger, amen.

  124. #124 aleph1equalsc
    June 29, 2008

    This guy reminds me of when I was in junior high. I played in the orchestra for the Easter program at a local Baptist church (I think it was Pomona, CA). The pastor said, “Pontius Pilate is now in hell.” This, I think, is one of the things that led to my eventual deconversion. So there may be some good to come out of the total BS that people like Phelps spew.

  125. #125 Samantha Vimes
    June 30, 2008

    Possibly the worst part: he may not be insane.

    As I understand it, a large part of why he and his “church” does this is that when you say horrible things at funerals, the bereaved aren’t fully in control of themselves and may assault the protesters. That’s where the funds for the “church” come from; suing the people they provoked. Seems like it’s starting to backfire though, YAY! But for decades, he and his large family have lived on lawsuits, leading one to suspect more method than madness.

  126. #126 clinteas
    June 30, 2008

    @ Samantha,No 125 :

    Of course these thugs make a conscious decision at some point in their life to be deceiving lying scumbags,of course there is more method than madness(although im sure madness helps lol),these hate preachers are just nothing but criminals for jeebus AFAIK.

  127. #127 phantormeader42
    June 30, 2008

    AmberCulbertson-Faegre @ #41:

    It reminds me of apathetic evangelism, a common practice in my hometown. They go down to where the evangelists stand with their signs, talking about who is going to hell, near the nightclubs and bars. The apathetic evangelizers begin preaching:
    “My opinions on morality are not relevant here.”
    “I have nothing of importance to say.”
    “I do not know if there is a hell, and I do not know if you are going there.”

    Reminds me of a scene from the movie “PCU”, where the whole campus is waving signs and chanting “We’re not gonna protest”. :P

  128. #128 Magnifico
    June 30, 2008

    I got through 46 seconds! I’m building a tolerance as to any other kind of poison.

  129. #129 Hap
    June 30, 2008

    Phelps is the complex conjugate of a compassionate human being. You could use him as an example in math class. “Here’s someone human, say your dad, and here’s the complex conjugate…Fred Phelps.” Of course, someone is going to respond with “My dad loves that man.” to which the (an) appropriate response would be “I’m so sorry.”

The site is currently under maintenance and will be back shortly. New comments have been disabled during this time, please check back soon.