…and this is a 
In which I have hurt Ken Ham's feelings
Category: Creationism • Kooks
Posted on: June 21, 2008 11:24 AM, by PZ Myers
Oh, dear. Earlier, I wrote about Ken Ham's visit to the Pentagon, a soul-shuddering thought if ever there was one, and it seems Ken has read it. He has replied with a blog entry titled Biology Professor Calls Me “Wackaloon”. Ken, Ken, Ken. You act shocked at the thought that one guy publicly stated that you were Mr Flaming Nutbar, but you shouldn't be. Millions of people, including some of the most knowledgeable biologists in the world, think just about every day that you are an airhead, an ass, a birdbrain, a blockhead, a bonehead, a boob, a bozo, a charlatan, a cheat, a chowderhead, a chump, a clod, a con artist, a crackpot, a crank, a crazy, a cretin, a dimwit, a dingbat, a dingleberry, a dipstick, a ditz, a dolt, a doofus, a dork, a dum-dum, a dumb-ass, a dumbo, a dummy, a dunce, a dunderhead, a fake, a fathead, a fraud, a fruitcake, a gonif, a halfwit, an idiot, an ignoramus, an imbecile, a jackass, a jerk, a jughead, a knucklehead, a kook, a lamebrain, a loon, a loony, a lummox, a meatball, a meathead, a moron, a mountebank, a nincompoop, a ninny, a nitwit, a numbnuts, a numbskull, a nut, a nutcase, a peabrain, a pinhead, a racketeer, a sap, a scam artist, a screwball, a sham, a simpleton, a snake oil salesman, a thickhead, a turkey, a twerp, a twit, a wacko, a woodenhead, and much, much worse.
You're a clueless schmuck who knows nothing about science and has arrogantly built a big fat fake museum to promote medieval bullshit — you should not be surprised to learn that you are held in very low esteem by the community of scholars and scientists, and by the even larger community of lay people who have made the effort to learn more about science than you have (admittedly, though, you have set the bar very, very low on that, and there are 5 year old children who have a better grasp of the principles of science as well as more mastery of details of evolution than you do.)
Maybe you should write a blog entry calling attention to each insult given to you. I think that's your calling, and it's probably god's intended mission for you in life, to inspire contempt.
(I encourage each and every one of my readers to express their true feelings about Ken Ham in the comment thread here. Then I want Mr Ham to write an indignant post complaining that "So-and-so called me a “disgrace to brain-damaged clowns”", or whatever — that'll keep him occupied for years, and will distract him from his campaign of abusing the minds of young children. Be creative.)
Politics
Comments
Ken Ham= Brain Damage
Posted by: andrew | June 21, 2008 11:29 AM
Look, I'm just a layman (laywoman?) and even I know he's nothing but an addled creep too damn stupid to figure out how brainwashed he is, and a miserable bigot who loves company.
Posted by: speedwell | June 21, 2008 11:31 AM
Your link to Ham's blog entry is broken.
Oh, and Ken Ham has the cognitive prowess of a bag of Cheetos. Okay, maybe not that much. Maybe a single Cheeto. A deranged one.
Posted by: Derek James | June 21, 2008 11:32 AM
Sigh. When will neurochemistry give us a cure for Ken Ham?
Posted by: llewelly | June 21, 2008 11:33 AM
Someone once told me he looked like an evil Abraham Lincoln. I agree with them (it's really rather creepy).
Posted by: lettucequeen | June 21, 2008 11:33 AM
Ken Ham exists to fleece those less thoughtful than himself. But he's not worth much thought, just derision.
Posted by: David Lee | June 21, 2008 11:33 AM
Ham's an Asshat.
Posted by: Dennis | June 21, 2008 11:33 AM
What a vain, self-absorbed pudding-brain Ken Ham is. He is probably the stupidest, delusional jerknob I've ever heard of.
Posted by: Steve C | June 21, 2008 11:35 AM
I'm trying not to gush, to actually think out my thoughts clearly... but it's hard. Every day I think about that $27 million dollar abomination sitting in Kentucky, and all the children being indoctrinated into Ken Ham's kooky vision of the world, and it twists my insides into knots. Science, and education in general, is seriously hurting for funding, and all the textbooks that could have been bought with that money, all the real research that could have been done... To think it all went to that loon so he could build a few robot dinosaurs and sucker in children that are curious about real science... I can't do it. I can't post a clear thought without giving myself a headache. And now he's infiltrating the Pentagon. Those people are supposed to defend us against the worst kind of terror, and they're welcoming it into their house. I need to post before my ears start bleeding...
Posted by: MarshallDog | June 21, 2008 11:36 AM
As a non-native English speaker, allow me to express my personal gratitude for Your list of nouns. Chances are that I'll find it useful.
Posted by: fcaccin | June 21, 2008 11:36 AM
PZ, it seems that Bright Blue drinks imbibed in the wee hours has taken the edge off your criticism of Mr. Ham. Perhaps you could revisit your posting once the effect of the Azure Ambrosia has worn off and tell us what you really think. Cheers and beware of astronomers. We need you. :-)
Posted by: Hal in Howell MI | June 21, 2008 11:43 AM
Oh very well. . .
Show me a blithering idiot.
Now show me Ken Ham. But I repeat myself.
(excuse me for paraphrasing Mark Twain, but I think he would understand)
Posted by: DLC | June 21, 2008 11:43 AM
Hm, this is where being a Brit may come in handy - descriptive terms for the truly stupid may differ considerably across the pond. So:-
Ken Ham is a buffoon, a cloth-headed guffin, a dim bulb, a donkey, a gormless imbecile, a knuckle-dragger, a pillock, a pratt, a vegetable, and a wet smack.
He is also two planks short of a load, two sandwiches short of a picnic, completely Finchley, out to lunch, off his trolley, and as daft as a brush wi'out any bristles.
Posted by: Nick Gotts | June 21, 2008 11:45 AM
Did you include wanker? He's definitely a wanker.
Posted by: Pratik Patel | June 21, 2008 11:45 AM
He goes on to comment positively on a preacher who wants his flock to think about the recent US floods in 'biblical terms'. So god is punishing all those Midwesterners for their sins?
Death and disaster is definitely caused by the bible.
Posted by: Akheloios | June 21, 2008 11:45 AM
Ken Ham's style of religion is far more than just a delusion; its a full blown pasasitic infection, sucking the life force out of scientific progress.
Posted by: Jason | June 21, 2008 11:47 AM
"an airhead, an ass, a birdbrain, a blockhead, a bonehead, a boob, a bozo, a chowderhead, a chump, a clod, a crackpot, a crank, a crazy, a cretin, a dimwit, a dingbat, a dingleberry, a dipstick, a ditz, a dolt, a doofus, a dork, a dum-dum, a dumb-ass, a dumbo, a dummy, a dunce, a dunderhead, a fathead, a fruitcake, a halfwit, an idiot, an ignoramus, an imbecile, a jackass, a jerk, a jughead, a knucklehead, a kook, a lamebrain, a loon, a loony, a lummox, a meatball, a meathead, a moron, a nincompoop, a ninny, a nitwit, a numbnuts, a numbskull, a nut, a nutcase, a peabrain, a pinhead, a sap, a screwball, a simpleton, a thickhead, a turkey, a twerp, a twit, a twit, a wacko, a woodenhead..."
You're far too polite. I'm definitely in the "and much much worse" camp.
Posted by: uberd00b | June 21, 2008 11:48 AM
Pratik Patel@14 I doubt it. He probably couldn't find his genitals with both hands.
Posted by: Nick Gotts | June 21, 2008 11:48 AM
Ironically enough, Ken Ham's blog post seems to prove your point ...
Posted by: Yoo | June 21, 2008 11:49 AM
Ken Ham is a snake-oil pedaling charlatan. That he is allowed to do anything in the Pentagon other than clean toilets is another example of the current administration's march to theocracy.
Posted by: Senecasam | June 21, 2008 11:49 AM
OK, here's three choices: Insane, Stupid, or Cynical. It's got to be one of the three. No other options. In his answer to you, he says we are arrogant and intolerant, but it's hard not to be in his presence.
Posted by: Davis | June 21, 2008 11:49 AM
Here's Ken Ham's blog entry about this.
Apparently someone has also challenged the credentials of the "scientists" involved with ID. Is anyone surprised?
Posted by: dorid | June 21, 2008 11:51 AM
I'd say Ken Ham is a wanktruffle
Posted by: Reginald | June 21, 2008 11:51 AM
You missed 'Twonk'.
Posted by: Ian T | June 21, 2008 11:52 AM
Your opinion of Ham is much higher than mine. I can tell because you never used the word "codswallop."
Posted by: Mike O'Risal | June 21, 2008 11:52 AM
PZ is forcing creativity by hogging so many of the appropriate epithets.
But you missed Ham-head, which seems appropriate.
If anyone needs help insulting Ham, you can get some from
that master insulter of the english language: The Bard:
http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html
Ken Ham is a droning half-faced hedge-pig!
a Lack-Brain!
a qualling brazen-faced canker-blossom!
a loggerheaded weather-bitten measle!
a mammering tardy-gaited bugbear!
His sole name blisters our tongues.
Posted by: dsmccoy | June 21, 2008 11:52 AM
He`s a coistrel, a culliton, a moldwarp
(mmm. Shakespearian insults..)
Posted by: szqc | June 21, 2008 11:52 AM
Put simply, and because I can think of no worse insult, Ken Ham is a VenomFangX-class idiot.
Posted by: amz | June 21, 2008 11:53 AM
Hey PZ -- don't bottle it up -- let it all out!
You'll feel better (though probably not that much better, seeing as this twonk still lives and breathes).
Posted by: Chris Hughes | June 21, 2008 11:53 AM
Nobody brings the dumb like The Hamster. I live about half an hour from his Temple Of Dumb and The Cincinnati Enquirer seems to run full color features on that place every other month. My fingers are calloused from writing letters to the editor objecting to their constant gushing over it. Dumb is thick in the air around here and ol' Ken is manning his industrial size fan, blowing it across the Ohio River into our faces. (Can your brain get radiation burns from overexposure to toxic ignorance? My cerebral cortex has been throbbing like a mother ever since they opened that place.)
Posted by: bigkongfan | June 21, 2008 11:54 AM
Well, I think PZ's impeccably alphabetized string of descriptors painted a more accurate picture than most can.
If Ken is going to continue barefacedly spreading ignorance, he should expect to have fingers pointed at him.
Posted by: JonD | June 21, 2008 11:54 AM
"Ken Ham is... a donkey..."
Let's not be harsh here.
Donkeys are rather sharp beasties. I'd rather hang out with an ass than a guy whose "museum" features a plaque justifying incest in the Bible. Or a bunch of plaques that highlight the very worst of theistic "blame the victim" "logic."
Posted by: deerjackal | June 21, 2008 11:55 AM
Reverend Spooner says Ken is a mucking foron.
I never understand Rev. Spooner.
Posted by: David | June 21, 2008 11:55 AM
I have been watching from the sidelines for too long Mr. Myerz, now i feel obliged to step in to douse the hate. I find it truly unthoughtful from your part to call ken ham a jackass. Sir, a jackass has a practical purpose, ken ham does not. This proud member of the equidae familly does laborious work in farming nations such as mine, Peru. I find it repulsive that you have equated a jackass with the waste of matter which ken ham is.
So please, lets be al little more thoughtful for the animals.
Posted by: Pakostan | June 21, 2008 11:56 AM
Ken Ham eh, well, what can you say about someone who lies to children for a living. It's the communities that will pay for it when those kids meet the real world and find out all the people they trusted have been lying to them.
Posted by: Dutch Delight | June 21, 2008 11:56 AM
I had decided to call him a brainless prat, but I've changed my mind.
You're a jerk, Ken. A complete asshole.
Posted by: heliobates | June 21, 2008 11:58 AM
You forgot "shit for brains". That's always my favorite one.
Posted by: Iason Ouabache | June 21, 2008 11:58 AM
After skim-reading Knob Ham's blog entry, I'd also like to draw everyone's attention to his second bullet point: "Of course, if I had been a Muslim and went to the Pentagon to address a Muslim prayer breakfast, I'm sure PZ Myers would not have ranted against that--it is only Christians one is allowed to be intolerant of nowadays, it seems."
Care to prove him wrong on that, PZ?
Posted by: Julius | June 21, 2008 11:58 AM
Ken Ham is like a stress hormone - it increases your blood pressure to a dangerous level upon binding to the glucocorticoid receptor in the brains of normal, logical people. Science is still to find an antagonist to Ken Ham.
Posted by: S. Rivlin | June 21, 2008 11:58 AM
Canned Ham? Yuck!
Posted by: Xxldave | June 21, 2008 11:58 AM
cotton headed ninny muggins
Posted by: sdg | June 21, 2008 11:58 AM
Ken Ham gives a bad name to cured pig flesh.
Posted by: Jackal | June 21, 2008 11:59 AM
I used to collect these type expressions on a 3x5 card:
I don't have it handy, but let's see:
* One brick short of a load
* Butter slipped off his noodles
* One wheel in the sand
* Running on seven (Maybe running on three as a nod to Al Gore)
* Traveling w/o any luggage
* Roof isn't nailed down in one corner
* Elevator [Lift to you Nick] doesn't meet the top floor
* Doesn't have both oars in the water
Posted by: afterthought | June 21, 2008 12:00 PM
Derek, I find your comments deeply insulting to cheetos.
Ham is nauseating little toerag, who knows nothing of science, despite being repeatedly informed about it, in words of one syllable, words eminently too complex for him to understand. I loathe the man and the anti-intellectual, anti-science, anti-enlightenment fetid pile of dingoes kidneys he's wasted 27 million on.
Posted by: Dave Godfrey | June 21, 2008 12:01 PM
I'm not usually into name calling, but just this once:
Ken Ham, you're a ridiculous buffoon.
- Pierre R, bioinformatician.
I think we should all include some of our credentials
along with our insults. How does it feel to be called
names by such a whole bunch of respected intellectuals,
Ken? People who are all known to be very intelligent?
But I bet your twisted brain doesn't get the true
meaning of such an honor... eh?
Posted by: Pierre | June 21, 2008 12:01 PM
A festering boil on the ass of humanity.
Posted by: Scienceman123 | June 21, 2008 12:02 PM
I can't do better than Lewis Black:
"There are people who believe that dinosaurs and men lived together. That they roamed the Earth at the same time. There are museums that children go to, in which they build dioramas to show them this. And what this is, purely and simply, is a clinical psychotic reaction. They are crazy. They are stone cold f*** nuts. I can't be kind about this, because these people are watching The Flintstones as if it were a documentary."
Posted by: Shaden Freud | June 21, 2008 12:02 PM
How can you all have forgotten the piglet incident? Google
"Ken Ham" piglet
and get 4,790 hits describing this sordid incident.
Posted by: Paul Burnett | June 21, 2008 12:03 PM
Did anyone mention dickweed, pudknocker, and the more genteel, wastrel? Mr. Ham is all of the above and more. What about the Pentagon dudes who invited him to breakfast and those unfortunates who provide him with financial support?
Posted by: Hal in Howell MI | June 21, 2008 12:03 PM
Let's keep it simple: I've grown brighter vegetables. Asparagus comes to mind.
Posted by: shyster | June 21, 2008 12:04 PM
PZ and your fans, why do you want to come across like adolescent-minded, right-wing blow-hards, Freeper and Little Green Football posters and commenters, etc? Sure Ken Ham is a pseudoscientist and his work is destructive, but a booger flicking fest just looks silly. A few threads ago, someone was quite rightly complaining about the Freepers. But their threads often look just like this, or not as bad. Where's the maturity?
Go ahead and whine, kids. Yes, I'm a stodgy old scolding goat and a haughty anthropic "philosophical theist" to boot who thinks people like you are too unsophisticated in sophistic abstract reasoning to explore such issues competently. But you can't pick on that unless you know your way around modal realism, comparative statistics of possible model worlds, etc., talk of dinosaurs and bones won't cut it. Have fun.
PS: If you want to put snark to good political use, remind readers of various blogs that John McSame's wife Cindy stole drugs from her own non-profit, and their affair broke up his marriage. Most of us can at least agree we prefer Obama (but remember, he is a Christian by his own admission!)
Posted by: Neil B. | June 21, 2008 12:04 PM
Methinks Mr. Ham is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
My grandfather would have called him Ignat. Or Ignut. I don't know where he got those terms, but I always liked 'em.
I'm leaning toward Ignut. To go with nutbar.
Posted by: Aquaria | June 21, 2008 12:07 PM
Looks like the blog post has disappeared.
Posted by: Reginald | June 21, 2008 12:07 PM
there are 5 year old children who have a better grasp of the principles of science as well as more mastery of details of evolution than you do.)
There's also at least one 4 year old ditto; mine is a witness.
Posted by: Mathematician | June 21, 2008 12:08 PM
Ken Ham's a slubberdegullion!
Posted by: aporeticus | June 21, 2008 12:08 PM
Looks like Hamtard took his posting down in anticipation of our onslaught.
He couldn't get a clue if he were standing in the middle of a field of naked, horny clues, wearing a clue costume doing the clue mating dance.
I still can't wait to visit the Museum of Idiots so I can point and laugh.
Posted by: Henry Birdseye | June 21, 2008 12:09 PM
Ken Ham is...
as dumb as a bag of hammers
as sharp as a sack of dead rats
as hopeless as a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest
dumber than two rocks stacked on top of each other
as coherent as a frog in a blender
as welcome as a herpes sore at an orgy
as credible as a senator with a "wide stance"
Posted by: chris | June 21, 2008 12:10 PM
Funny, Ken Ham seems to think that Christians are being picked upon preferentially. That's only true to the extent that it is Christians who keep trying to hijack the public sector (government, military, schools) to promote their sectarian views. Most of the people who frequent Pharyngula are secularists who strenuously oppose efforts to entangle church and state. We'd be similarly antagonistic toward the idea that we should have Sharia law in this country, but except for wacky organizations like Blackwater, no one is seriously suggesting that the U.S. should be under Islamic law.
It's like this, Mr. Ham: I am diligently opposed to the propagation of mosquitoes, which spread various diseases throughout California. I spend, however, almost no time or effort struggling against infestations of tsetse flies. It's all a matter of what's causing all the trouble. In most of this country, it's cads and bounders like you.
Posted by: Zeno | June 21, 2008 12:10 PM
Perhaps we should refer to his ilk as "Hamlets", since "they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams".
Posted by: Emmet Caulfield | June 21, 2008 12:11 PM
"(but remember, he is a Christian by his own admission!)"
Ya but they all say that, after all they ARE politicians.
He'd tell you he "eats babies for breakfast" if he thought that you'd vote for him because of it. Now Hillary on the other hand IS the spawn of satan!;)
Oh ya Ken Ham is a douche bag!
Posted by: Joe | June 21, 2008 12:12 PM
Here is where I found Ham's wack-a-loon link
Don't forget to Scroll down past wack-a-loon and read about Ham's new Ass!!
Posted by: scooter | June 21, 2008 12:12 PM
Ken Ham is an obnoxious twit
who's brain don't work even a bit.
My hypothesis is
that religion has
replaced all of his gray matter with shit.
I could say that you can see how he's
proof that we're descended from monkeys,
but that's not how it works
and that mind-addled jerk
is too stupid to come down from the trees.
If there is a god who controls weather,
and knows every bird and their feathers,
you'd think there had been
a better use for Ken's skin
than to hold his sorry ass together.
Posted by: Rich Stage | June 21, 2008 12:13 PM
...and just because I haven't seen it used yet..
Ken Ham is a fuckwit.
Posted by: chris | June 21, 2008 12:13 PM
Silly silly pigletfucker.
It's hardly our fault the pigletstoinker is a plangent* wackaloon. We just calls 'em as we sees 'em.
Now, though, I do have to wonder if PZed is related to captain Haddock. There is a certain superficial similarity and they do seem to share a certain verbal tick.
*Thank you, professor Pullum.
Posted by: Sili | June 21, 2008 12:14 PM
Yes, I'm a stodgy old scolding goat and a haughty anthropic "philosophical theist" to boot - Neil B.
Neil, I thought I should point out that you've accidentally included something sensible and accurate in your comment.
Posted by: Nick Gotts | June 21, 2008 12:15 PM
Like Ken Ham, I'm not a biologist. So, obviously, I am uncertain as to whether or not worms actually shit. However, I think I can be reasonably certain that should those worms, in fact, shit, it's quite clear that worm shit would be considerably more intelligent and valuable than Mr. Ham and his opinions.
Ken Ham is nothing more than a scum-sucking rapist desperately trying to exploit the questioning minds of America's children as he continually strives to become America's #1 source of toxic waste.
Locking the asshole in a bunker half a mile under ground for ten thousand years would be a good freakin' start in protecting America from him and the worthless sludge of his confused mythology.
Posted by: Capital Dan | June 21, 2008 12:15 PM
Lol @ 28, 47
To 51:
True, name-calling is a little immature, but on behalf of all scientists and science students, we're a little pissed off that a mentally deficient crackpot (damn, was that said already?) gets to tell the people with the power to destroy the world about how true his book of magic is, and how important it is to adhere to fantasy, and we (science minded people) need to vent.
Posted by: Jason | June 21, 2008 12:16 PM
This is a deeply satisfying thread. But it occurs to me that I've never blogged about Ken Ham. (Or Hovind, but he went to the slammer before I started blogging.)
Why have I been so neglectful? It's probably because I've never considered his creationist "museum" -- which appeals to mountain folk who are the products of seventh-generation incest -- to be worth the effort.
But perhaps I'll reconsider. There's something to be said for a successful entrepreneur of un-reason.
Posted by: PatrickHenry | June 21, 2008 12:16 PM
"I encourage each and every one of my readers to express their true feelings about Ken Ham in the comment thread here."
Ken Ham is an asshole who abuses children with his breathtaking stupidity. He belongs in prison.
Posted by: BobC | June 21, 2008 12:17 PM
You're absolutely right, Neil. Your codswallop is far more impenetrable than Ham's. Congratulations.
Posted by: Mike O'Risal | June 21, 2008 12:18 PM
Ken Ham is a living transitional form. He's halfway between a flaming assclown (not to say he's gay, its just that the few functioning neurons he does have are vibrating madly with cognitive dissonance) and a gyrating whale penis-eater.
My consolation is that these ridiculous nutballs are inevitably brought down when their private misdeeds come to light and the hate-mongering they have so carefully cultivated is brought to bear on their own odious misdeeds.
Posted by: Seth | June 21, 2008 12:18 PM
Ken Ham is a wingnut. His presence in this country has lowered the average IQ by at least 20 points.
Posted by: Carlie | June 21, 2008 12:18 PM
Ham is a git and for some Shakespearean spice:
a puking idle-headed clack-dish.
Posted by: Logicel | June 21, 2008 12:20 PM
Ken Ham is a giant doodie head. That is all.
Posted by: MattEdd | June 21, 2008 12:20 PM
Taken from the Shakespearean Insulter:
Ken Ham is a trunk of humours, a bolting-hutch of beastliness, a swollen parcel of dropsies, a huge bombard of sack, a stuffed cloak-bag of guts, a roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, a reverend vice, a grey Iniquity, a father ruffian, a vanity in years.
He is also a mewling boil-brained scut.
He hath not so much brain as ear wax.
Posted by: Seamyst | June 21, 2008 12:20 PM
I used PZ's link to the article in Answers-in-Stupidity and got this:
Page Not Found
Sorry, the page your looking for cannot be found.
Error 404
Did Mr. Ken Shithead Ham delete his own blog entry?
Posted by: BobC | June 21, 2008 12:25 PM
Ken Ham, gonzo god-goober, Christian, nut job, & lying creep.
Posted by: Richard Harris | June 21, 2008 12:25 PM
No insult or collection of insults can suffice in describing Ken Ham. Therefore, I propose we use the term "Ken Ham" as the most abysmal insult and expletive that can be hurled at another human being. Imagine saying "Ken Ham you!" to the next jerk that cuts you off in traffic.
Posted by: Dan Phelps | June 21, 2008 12:26 PM
Ham is a hateful, hard headed, ham-handed hack.
Posted by: Andrés | June 21, 2008 12:27 PM
Yikes, I'm only a postal worker. Then again, we do have a certain reputation that might inspire...well, fear.
Posted by: Aquaria | June 21, 2008 12:28 PM
Hear Hear! A proper nitwit!
Posted by: THNP | June 21, 2008 12:29 PM
Ken's Beard and sideburns makes me think he is a sorry imitation of Captain Ahab, and creationism is his own white whale that will hopefully drag him under someday.
(my apologies to white whales).
Posted by: DVMKurmes | June 21, 2008 12:30 PM
My biggest problem with Ken Ham is that he's so selfish. Imagine being gifted with all that ugly and keeping it to himself. He could perform great acts of kindness with ugliness like that. Farmers could use him to scare caterpillars off of their crops. Parents of naughty children could have him walk past their rooms at night. He could allow blind people to feel his face so they wouldn't feel so bad about being blind; they would understand that having sight carries risks. Newlywed men could have him stand behind the headboard of their marital bed so that when they felt their climax approaching, they could look up and earn themselves a few more minutes of playtime.
Not that Kenny's ugliness hasn't had consequences already. Young girls frequently go running to the convents after seeing that mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging hermaphroditic troglodyte for the first time, and pregnant women frequently throw themselves down flights of stairs after the same. Even the rabbits of his hometown are notorious for their celibacy!
Now, please understand that when I call Ken Ham ugly, I don't mean your ordinary kind of ugly, I mean that he is biblically ugly. And not the New Testament either. He is Old Testament Bible ugly. We're talking leprosy in the well, wrath of God, plagues in Egypt, Sodom and Gomorrah, Jacob's loins, Lot screwing his daughters, Goliath scratching his sack with a hook, couldn't get on the ark because what would condescend to mate with him kind of ugly. I'm sure that there is no record of this sort of ugliness anywhere in human history, if only because anyone telling the tale would surely have their works burned for being even more absurd than the Flintstones-as-documentary crapfest he molests the world with on a daily basis.
Posted by: Traffic Demon | June 21, 2008 12:30 PM
By the way, can someone tell me why it is that these god-soaked, gurgling halfwits never allow comments on the irrational dreck they slap up on their blogs?
Seriously, if Ham opened up comments on his blog, it would be so much easier (and better) to question the potatohead there than here. I'd like to have the opportunity of telling the fucktard that he's a fucktard to his poorly shaven, fucktard face.
Posted by: Capital Dan | June 21, 2008 12:30 PM
I like how he puts political correctness into scare quotes, because it's a "bad thing." Now, it is a bad thing that there are prayer breakfasts at all in the military, respecting an establishment of religion. But that's not what bothers Ken. He's obviously fine with prayer breakfasts led by wackaloon fundamentalist Christians.
If we're going to have to put up with government-sponsored religion, then it's some consolation that all sorts of wackos are welcome. That way they can waste time fighting it out amongst one another, a situation preferable to hegemony by one sect.
But Ken is pissed that Muslim infidels are allowed to walk on the holy land of the Pentagon. "It is only Christians one is allowed to be intolerant of nowadays, it seems."
"Boo hoo! I want to be intolerant of Muslims, but when I am, people call me a hypocrite! It's not faaaair!"
Any time you see a right winger bitching about how "only Christians can be targeted these days," you can know two things about that winger. First, they're lying, because anyone surveying the cultural landscape can see that Muslims are considered more than fair targets. Second, they're longing for the bad old days when non-Christians were expected to shut the fuck up, and if we didn't, we were fair targets for physical violence and/or murder.
Posted by: Grammar RWA | June 21, 2008 12:34 PM
Actually, I think Ken Ham has hurt your feelings! And with politelness and accuracy, too.
Don't bother to think and read what is actually said; lazy, lazy, lazy!
Posted by: Walt | June 21, 2008 12:34 PM
For Ken Ham, the Christian Alphabet:
Archaic Arcane Apostles
Bigoted Baptist Bull
Crazy Christian Crap
Demonic Defecating Deacons
Egocentric Ecclesiastic Excrement
Foolish Fractious Followers
Gentile Genteel Goons
Halloween-Hating Heteroclites
Indefatigably Indignant Imbeciles
Joyless Jesus Jockeys
Ku Klux Klan
Lobotomized Lucifer Libelists
Mendacious Mercenary Missionaries
Nescient Nature Narration
Offensive Occidental Oligarchy
Pathetic Parasitical Preachers
Quaint Queer Quakers
Religious Refuse Retailers
Sectarian Snakeoil Salesmen
Totalitarian Thought Tyrants
Unmitigated Upbringing Usurpation
Vituperative Visigoth Victims
Weird Walleyed Wrath
Xenophobic Xanthochroic Xavierians
Yahweh Yapping Yardbirds
Zealous Zionist Zeros
Posted by: Davey | June 21, 2008 12:35 PM
@51 "people like you are too unsophisticated in sophistic abstract reasoning to explore such issues competently. But you can't pick on that unless you know your way around modal realism, comparative statistics of possible model worlds, etc., talk of dinosaurs and bones won't cut it."
what are these super important issues? Any issue that is sufficiently abstract that it cannot be settled with evidence is irrelevant and useless. Just like "philosophical theism".
Posted by: chigurh | June 21, 2008 12:35 PM
Actually I think Ken had a point. From PZs column I gathered the impression (and this must have been my delusion) that Ken was had an opfficial Pentagon invitation to some high power prayer meeting with bigwig guys at the Pentagon. This would have been bad. As he mentioned only a hundred were there, and it is possible they were cleaners without the ability to blast people to smitherines. So it may not have been as bad as all that.
As to this post, I am not sure there is much benefit to name calling, but clearly at th very least Ken Ham is ignorant.
Posted by: Sailor | June 21, 2008 12:35 PM
Hilarious comment, Traffic Demon #83!
Ham is so disgusting that when people who have overdosed need to vomit just one brief flash of a photo of Ham will do the job.
Posted by: Logicel | June 21, 2008 12:35 PM
Posted by: scooter | June 21, 2008 12:36 PM
Mike, you should look up "modal realism" instead of just blowing it off like a yahoo because you don't know about it. Ironically, many top physicists like Max Tegmark believe that same idea, that the universe simply "is" the math that describes it (so they can have every possible model world and not have to explain why *this* one is the one that exists. BTW, can you?)
But Max and the others aren't aware of the grotesque implications for Bayesian expectation, since it requires literally every description to exist (including worlds similar to every movie and cartoon you ever saw and then some) as well as full of every imaginable variation. We'd have no expectation of being in a world with the regularity of law and particle consistency there is here. If you guys want to beg off thinking about "metaphysics" (that doesn't mean "no" it means "who knows or should care") or just not believe in something you can't find that's OK with me. You could at least know what you're talking about when you actually try to argue the point.
BTW, you should see that I've been indulging in snark anyway, no point in literalizing and analyzing it all to death. Really, PZ and fans' pubescent splatterings are in fact not the same sort of harmful trash as the dextronuts' smearings about patriotism, like Bill O'Reilly saying "We know where you live" about his critics or etc, Ann Coulter denigrating an entire political faction as treasonous, etc.; Mike Savage, Boortz, et al. They are truly repulsive, childish snot is just annoying and useless.
Posted by: Neil B. | June 21, 2008 12:37 PM
Re #76, I foun