Magazine rack rejects : Pharyngula

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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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« We need a president who will maintain American standards of geography | Main | Godless brunch on Sunday »

Magazine rack rejects

Category: Humor
Posted on: July 21, 2008 5:19 PM, by PZ Myers

Something Awful has put together a collection of photoshopped Reverse Magazines — this one tickled my fancy.

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Comments

Posted by: Jakob | July 21, 2008 5:24 PM

Now this made me chuckle

Posted by: N.K. | July 21, 2008 5:31 PM

-Golf clap-

Posted by: Glen Davidson | July 21, 2008 5:37 PM

Just slap a title like "Creation Science Beats Unscientific Evolution" on the cover rather than "Unscientific American," and it might pass for real to a lot of people.

Except for the "random wild guess". "Biblical inspiration" is what would stand in for "random wild guess" in AIG's mag.

Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

Posted by: Sweet Kevin | July 21, 2008 5:39 PM

I wonder ,in Kent Hovind's interview, if he discusses how God will break him out of prison.

Posted by: Gary Bohn | July 21, 2008 5:41 PM

I rather liked the 'Space' mag with it's image of god.

Posted by: skyotter | July 21, 2008 5:47 PM

it's still more accurate than a Creationist rag would be. i mean, there's SOME factual information on the cover. Kent Hovind *is* in prison, after all

Posted by: Will K. | July 21, 2008 5:48 PM

That's really clever. "It's the feathers!"

If anyone has too much free time and some skill with PhotoShop, I think a creationist-themed issue of would be pretty much the greatest thing ever.

Posted by: andrew | July 21, 2008 5:49 PM

doesnt the dicovery institute have some project going on to create their own "peer" reviewed journal (and by peer, i mean other IDiots)?

Posted by: blf | July 21, 2008 5:58 PM

Yawn, what, there's no article about cephalopods? For FSM's sake, what is the world coming to!!1!...

#10

Posted by: Platypus | July 21, 2008 6:04 PM

The spilled salt quantification is a good point. I assume they're sticking with sodium chloride -- is it still bad luck to spill other kinds of salt? Maybe the luck scales with the ionic intensity of the alkali metals; spilling sodium chloride is worse than spilling lithium chloride, but not as bad as spilling potassium chloride.

I suppose there is actually some truth to this idea... spilling cesium or francium chloride would probably cause bad things to happen to you in the near future.

#11

Posted by: Slaughter | July 21, 2008 6:19 PM

The Grand Canyon hed is wrong. Grand Canyon is 6,023 years old. I know. When I moved here in '85, I was told by a Young Earther that the Canyon was 6,000 years old, and that was 23 years ago.

#12

Posted by: Qwerty | July 21, 2008 6:19 PM

From Kent Hovind and Eric Hovind's website:

Submited By: Kaytee
I recently stumbled upon your 'speech' "100 Reasons Why Evolution is Stupid" and I have to tell you that I think it was not a coincidence that I did. I've been a wavering Christian for years, and I'm only 15. I've been praying for God and Christ to help me along, and they sent me your speech. As I watched your speech I was put in the mind set that creation is real, and evolution is false. Slowly I'm solidifying my faith in God and Christ and your speech helped me take one big step in the right direction. Thank You so very much.

PK, According to www.drdino.com Eric Hovind is coming to Windom, Minnesota on August 23rd to make a presentation. Will you be there to greet him?

#13

Posted by: "Q" the Enchanter | July 21, 2008 6:26 PM

Credit where credit is due -- at least the Spilled Salt article implicitly commends professional expertise.

#14

Posted by: Kobra | July 21, 2008 6:26 PM

That is freaking awesome. There's no other word for it

#15

Posted by: E.V. | July 21, 2008 6:27 PM

The saddest thing about this is that the Unscientific American above would sell better than Scientific American and all the Skeptic journals combined.

#16

Posted by: marc buhler | July 21, 2008 6:28 PM

But will it be on sale here in Australia anytime soon?

#17

Posted by: Ghost of Minnesota | July 21, 2008 6:35 PM

PK, According to www.drdino.com Eric Hovind is coming to Windom, Minnesota on August 23rd to make a presentation. Will you be there to greet him?

Holy shit, I am so there.

#18

Posted by: "Q" the Enchanter | July 21, 2008 6:35 PM

And Platypus, don't be juvenile -- any chemist worth his salt will tell you that lithium chloride will yield a completely different Z-score over 5,000 REG series than sodium chloride. Sheesh.

#19

Posted by: mothra | July 21, 2008 6:42 PM

Someone has been visiting 'Worth1000.com' again. Years ago they did a great spoof on magazine covers- a TIME cover with two American astronauts confronting a Canadian with flag already planted on the moon, and story caption: 'Were we really there first?' [No offense meant to Canadian readers]

#20

Posted by: Cat of Many Faces | July 21, 2008 6:44 PM

Wow, this is absolutely hilarious!

We need more stuff like this over at http://loltheist.com/

#21

Posted by: LisaJ | July 21, 2008 6:57 PM

haha, love it! It was all fantastically hilarious.

#22

Posted by: Holbach | July 21, 2008 6:59 PM

How about the reversal of that catholic shit rag magazine, The Commonweal, to The Common Sleaze? Lead story: "How our heavenly god cracker is being descrated by the likes of a college professor who plans to ingest it at one end and egress it at the other end, and his followers on a blog site called Pharyngula urging him on with all manner of ideas and blasphemous banter to make us look ridiculous."

#23

Posted by: Rose | July 21, 2008 7:20 PM

That is just too funny!

#24

Posted by: Mike | July 21, 2008 7:26 PM

Wait, what? Did I miss the funny?

#25

Posted by: James F | July 21, 2008 7:51 PM

Andrew @ 8 wrote:

doesnt the dicovery institute have some project going on to create their own "peer" reviewed journal (and by peer, i mean other IDiots)?

They tried, it tanked. Even the old-school creationists can keep a couple of journals running for decades.

#26

Posted by: Amplexus | July 21, 2008 8:02 PM

I remember for my undergraduate research opportunity at Liberty University I used a salt gradient centrifuge to seperate out and find the unit of luck out of a puréed rabbit's foot.

I think maybe I didn't isolate the chemical responsible for luck as it might have been THE SALT itself!!

Oh I'm so ashamed :(

#27

Posted by: Iason Ouabache | July 21, 2008 8:22 PM

Threadjack: Oh please, oh please, oh please tell me that you are planning a post on Dembski declaring Darwin "either a knave or a fool or a madman".

#28

Posted by: Charles Minus | July 21, 2008 8:23 PM

Speaking of magazines (I've beem waiting for the right opportunity to post this):

The Astrological Magazine (established in 1936) announced on its website that it was ceasing publication with its December 2007 issue, "due to unforseen circumstances beyond our control."

http://www.astrologicalmagazine.com/

#29

Posted by: Benjamin Franklin | July 21, 2008 8:26 PM

Ooh Ooh!

Can I place a pre-order for the special double edition featuring Ray Comfort?

I can give you my charge card number right here on this internets. I'm sure it would be safe.

#30

Posted by: Kel | July 21, 2008 8:55 PM

I laughed so hard at Kent Hovind: The Prison Interview.

#31

Posted by: BadMA | July 21, 2008 9:30 PM

The sad part is that if you put this fake cover in some churches it'd takes weeks before someone noticed it was a joke.

#32

Posted by: aleph1=c | July 21, 2008 9:34 PM

@Slaughter #11

Yes, and the Cretaceous ended 65,000,023 years ago. Oh wait, That's for you. For me, it was 65,000,019 years ago. Maybe this discrepancy will allow the creationists to expose radiometric dating as the fraud that it is!

#33

Posted by: non-relig | July 21, 2008 9:53 PM

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine/20minister-t.html?pagewanted=5&_r=1&ref=magazine

You may want to read this. The Democrats are making a big push for the evangelical vote, and the head of the Democratic Convention (and Howard Dean's chief of staff) is a creationist, Biblical literalist (who also believes in the efficacy of faith-healing and speaking in tongues).

#34

Posted by: Crudely Wrott | July 21, 2008 10:22 PM

Take a look at the cover of "Light Polka" on page six.

Like a blow to the solar plexus. Now, that's Art!

I makes me regard a certain segment of human population that is also in immediate peril but for the life of me I can't say its name just now. Damned anomia.

Remind me to tell you about this incredible back cover art on a 1970 something issue of "Heavy Metal." Nearly as potent.

#35

Posted by: tootiredoftheright | July 21, 2008 10:29 PM

This old old old photoshop event from Somethingawful.

There is tons more material on Somethingawful that should get notice.

You know that McCain rape joke that is making the news. Somethingawful made an article from the Gorilla's point of view offering his services.
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/that-marvelous-ape.php

Even the Barack Obama smears debunking gets it's own article. With some more smears debunked and oh boy they get close to some that I swear will come out when the anti Obama haters get more desperate.

PZ Myers needs to go through the Someawful.com archives.

There are numerous photoshops of books, magazines, etc that should be talked about. Such as the Mormonads.
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/mormon-posters.php

Even Fred Phelps gets lamponed by them. http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/06-08-07-comics/spacemountain1.jpg is the Tales of the Phelps comic book.

http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/06-08-07-comics/spacemountain.jpg is a creationist comics spoof one of many from somethingawful.

#36

Posted by: foxfire | July 21, 2008 10:39 PM

@ Kobra #14: Exactly!

On the inside, the Unskeptic section has an article by Bill Donohue about the veracity of the cracker.

(sorry PZ...couldn't resist ;-)

#37

Posted by: rich fraser (richmanwisco) | July 21, 2008 10:45 PM

Oh yeah? Well there's no proof that my wife didn't make banana bread yesterday. So there!

#38

Posted by: posty mcposterton | July 21, 2008 10:53 PM

Sweet muscular Jesus... Ken Ham & Kent Hovind... two pillars of... bullshit.

~Dan
http://jazzsick.wordpress.com/

#39

Posted by: William Gulvin | July 21, 2008 10:56 PM

Think that's original? Sci Am itself threw in the towel in an April 1, 2005 editorial: http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=okay-we-give-up&sc=I100322

#40

Posted by: Dreamwalker | July 21, 2008 10:58 PM

Thanks for the laugh. There were a few other good ones there too.

#41

Posted by: Dreamwalker | July 21, 2008 10:59 PM

Thanks for the laugh. There were a few more good ones at Reverse Magazines.

#42

Posted by: Alan Kellogg | July 22, 2008 12:45 AM

In the world of magazine parodies there's the, New Orker.

#43

Posted by: scooter | July 22, 2008 1:39 AM

All of my tears go out to all of you at Pharyngula.

You are so blind.

The evidence for the New World Order, and the influence of extra-terrestrials below the Denver Airport has been proved scientifically by science.

It's people like you, and Pharyngula that pose the threat to science, because it's been proven.

#44

Posted by: Kobra | July 22, 2008 3:44 AM

I'd like to declare that Poe's Law applies to #43, but that's just me being optimistic.

#45

Posted by: Richard Harris | July 22, 2008 4:07 AM

Hey, the formation of the Grand Canyon just days after Noah's Flood wasn't a 'random wild guess by bible scholar'. When you know a whole load of answers, coz it tells you in the feckin' bible, filling in the blanks, such as the age of the Grand Canyon, is a Procrustean guess.

#46

Posted by: The Adamant Atheist | July 22, 2008 5:03 AM

Christians rarely talk about Noah's Ark and the Flood when I debate them. I usually bring it up to them.

It's so transparently stupid. I can't blame them for not wishing to emphasize that particular claim.

#47

Posted by: alex | July 22, 2008 6:04 AM

i would read that.

it actually looks very similar to the material i'd get handed by the bastardly snide jehovah's witness i used to pass on my way to work every saturday morning. the sort of thing where they'd throw in an article about Witnesses visiting an active volcano, or looking at wildlife, so as to seem more credible.

#48

Posted by: Dave Wisker | July 22, 2008 6:17 AM

I eagerly await a study on just how dumb a bag of hammers is.

#49

Posted by: Strakh | July 22, 2008 7:03 AM

Actually, the mag has it wrong:
The dreamcatcher's effectiveness doesn't reside in its feathers, it resides in the holes formed by its web.
That's right, folks, just like religion, it's all about nothing.

#50

Posted by: Chris | July 22, 2008 7:07 AM

Wow, for a moment there I thought it was real!
Just looks like something the humorless Christian Right of America would actually think is a good idea.

#51

Posted by: DLC | July 22, 2008 10:03 AM

Along the same lines, a book title:

A beginner's guide to homeopathy: There's Nothing To It

nothing beats a good laugh.

#52

Posted by: TheDeadEye | July 22, 2008 12:24 PM

Heh, I like the intentional 'affort'.

#53

Posted by: Hap | July 22, 2008 1:36 PM

#10: The CsCl wouldn't do anything - I don't think it's very toxic. The FrCl, on the other hand, might be a problem - I think francium isotopes have multisecond half-lives and so probably aren't any fun to play around with.

You could try to see if alkaline earth chlorides behave similarly to alkali metal chlorides - you could even expand to other halogen salts, sulfates, etc. Does luck scale with the Hofmeister effect of the anions? There is an entire research program lurking here!

I can see tenure for some lucky chemist at Liberty University, if he/she only search/replaces "luck" with "divine benevolence". With the right reviewers and a friendly editor, this research might find its way to a major journal, or two, five, or ten.

#54

Posted by: Aila | July 22, 2008 11:46 PM

This is hilarious.

This is also my first comment here. Your blog is awesome and I love you for doing it! :)

#55

Posted by: gaypaganunitarianagnostic | July 23, 2008 12:32 AM

But dream-catchers don't work. I have one over my bed and I have dreadful dreams, especially when I run out of Paxil.

#56

Posted by: momo | July 23, 2008 5:32 PM

the Sophism cover should also have made it into your post