Once upon a time, I made some unfortunate remarks about knitting, and I felt like I'd prodded Madame Defarge, which is never a good idea.
But really, I love you guys, and here's a whole page of cephalopod craft patterns to show it.
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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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More articles by PZ Myers can be found on Freethoughtblogs at the new Pharyngula!
A token of my respect for you crafty folk
Category: Cephalopods • Entertainment
Posted on: August 28, 2008 9:10 PM, by PZ Myers
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Comments
Posted by: Patricia | August 28, 2008 9:21 PM
WAAAAAHH! Not one for tatting. ;(
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | August 28, 2008 9:30 PM
Hmph.
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2008/01/nautical-yarn.html
Posted by: L2B | August 28, 2008 9:34 PM
...and nudibranch, and angler fish...
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5162135
Posted by: scrabcake | August 28, 2008 9:46 PM
That's right. You do not frack with the Madame Defarge.
Posted by: JoJo | August 28, 2008 9:50 PM
Has Nisbet been whining again? For a communicator, he spends a lot of time trying to stifle other peoples' communications.
Posted by: TSC | August 28, 2008 9:54 PM
Let the Christian "stitch and bitch" sessions commence after reality has eaten their lunch.
Posted by: Carlie | August 28, 2008 9:59 PM
OMG I make squid baby hat now.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | August 28, 2008 10:01 PM
Now the Redhead wants me to print out all the patterns. She wouldn't of known of your insult (I'm not even sure it was an insult) if you didn't do this post. Good thing I have a large supply of ink on hand.
Patricia, I'm sure on of the ilk knows of some cephalopod tatting patterns.
Posted by: Robin Zebrowski | August 28, 2008 10:02 PM
Ravelry (the knitter/crocheter social website) has a group called "Cephalopod-along" where we knit cephalopod-related things together. (There's also a Pharyngula Phan Club but it's quiet there. You're gonna have to show us more love!)
This page is awesome. Thank you for showing us knitterly dorks some love. Must knit more giant octopi heads!
Posted by: PennyBright | August 28, 2008 10:06 PM
Placating us knitters - good choice. :D
After all, millions of people with sharp pointy sticks is a bloc to be reckoned with. Fortunately we are dedicated to using our power for good. http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/tsffaq.html
Posted by: Wendy | August 28, 2008 10:09 PM
Here's something I made:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/herebedragons/2614577660/in/set-72157605832116846/
It's crocheted, though, not knitted. Also, the linked article, in which knitting is compared to religion, misses an important point. It's not true that knitters do not believe themselves to be better than everyone else (or at least better than those who crochet). Anyone who believes this has not spent nearly enough time in the company of knitters. :D
(Okay, so not all knitters feel this way. Probably not even most. But there really is a well-known rivalry among yarn crafters, and I've seen some really HARSH comments be flung in various online and real-life knitters vs. crocheters "wars." To my knowledge, though, neither side has killed over the issue, nor tried to start an actual crusade. Still . . . knitters can be dangerous).
;)
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | August 28, 2008 10:11 PM
RZ, thanks for the tip on the knitster/crocheter web site. I have been trying to convince the Redhead that the computer mouse doesn't bite. A social site might encourage her along those lines.
Posted by: Wendy | August 28, 2008 10:15 PM
@Robin - Thanks for the heads-up about the two Ravelry groups! *runs off to join both of them*
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 28, 2008 10:16 PM
Still . . . knitters can be dangerous
*starts thinking about opening a shop to provide lethal needles to knitters and crocheters*
"C'mon down to Needles 'R Us!"
"Guaranteed no waiting period, and all the deadliest needles money can buy!"
"Don't let you neighbor win the arms race! Get your diamond-tipped serrated needle with kung-fu grip today!"
"Don't leave home without it!"
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | August 28, 2008 10:28 PM
Ichthyic, considering that more husbands/boy friends/significant others are metaphorically skewered at knitting meetings than yarn, giving knitsters the real point could prove troublesome for us. Funny idea though, and I can just hear Johnny Carson doing the voiceover in my head.
Posted by: Eli | August 28, 2008 10:31 PM
Thanks for the show of respect.
I say, as a fearsome godless knitter, that knitting is in fact superior to religion. Give me two sticks and some string, and I can make a scarf or a hat... something useful to keep you warm in the cold Michigan (or Minnesota) winters. Give the religious crowd two sticks and some string and they'll tie the two sticks together to make a ridiculous cross... totally useless.
Posted by: PZ Myers | August 28, 2008 10:36 PM
Unless you absolutely need to torture somebody to death, that is.
Posted by: Angie | August 28, 2008 10:40 PM
I've been meaning to knit a digestive system for some time... http://www.strangebuttrewe.com/knitGI.htm
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 28, 2008 10:50 PM
Unless you absolutely need to torture somebody
...or some frog?
ok, too much cross-contamination.
Posted by: Noadi | August 28, 2008 11:05 PM
So here I am checking the stats for my cephalopod pattern page and the visits have skyrocketed in just a couple hours. I look at the referrers and see one of my favorite blogs! Absolutely rocks.
Glad you guys like the patterns I've been adding new ones to the page as I find them so if anyone knows of other ones out there let me know.
Posted by: Matthew | August 28, 2008 11:11 PM
Another fun pattern: a womb.
http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html
Posted by: charley | August 28, 2008 11:29 PM
Knitting, unlike religion, has actually contributed to science.
http://www.sciencentral.com/articles/view.php3?type=article&article_id=218392811
Posted by: AmyD | August 28, 2008 11:32 PM
Oh come on PZ, we can see right through you!. You're hinting that you would like one of us to knit you a little cephalopod friend. ;)
http://www.knitty.com/issuespring06/PATTnautie.html
Posted by: Sharon | August 28, 2008 11:59 PM
There's also an Atheist & Agnostic Crafters forum on Ravelry. I found Pharyngula there and have been an regular reader ever since. ;)
Posted by: Anna Lemma | August 29, 2008 1:05 AM
Over at Ravelry, in addition to the Cephalopod and Pharyngula groups,there is also the Atheist and Agnostic Knitting group and the Lazy, Stupid, and Godless group. We have a lot of fun. I post over there under a different name. There are projects like the Satanic Mittens,and the Zombie Jesus Socks, as well as the Mr. Hankie chew toy project.
Posted by: Anna Lemma | August 29, 2008 1:08 AM
Oops. I didn't see the post above. Hi Sharon and Robin,for a blast check out the LSG group. It's especially for us attention whores and slacker bitches.
Posted by: Robin Zebrowski | August 29, 2008 1:14 AM
@26 - Oh, have no fear! I'm a long-time LSG'er and AAC'er. The Atheist and Agnostic group is where I spent most of my time until I found LSG. I don't keep up there as much as I used to but I pop my head in every once in awhile to hear the news about bat houses and batshit neighbors ;)
Awesome to find kindred crafters here. PZ was right to placate us!
Posted by: Phyllis | August 29, 2008 1:30 AM
#22 - Actually, that's crochet not knit (see how we crocheters are?). Here's a gallery of the hyperbolic crochet. http://theiff.org/oexhibits/oe1.html
They also have a crocheted coral reef that I'd like to try:
http://www.theiff.org/reef/index.html
Awesome stuff!
Also a Ravelry AAC'er (although spend more time here than at Ravelry lately).
Posted by: peanutga11ery1 | August 29, 2008 2:55 AM
Yet another godless heathen multi-craftual scientist rav AACer to give you some love. I think I need to make a ceph hat
Posted by: CanadianChick | August 29, 2008 4:06 AM
squeeee! cephalopod sewing patterns for those of us that think needles should be small, sharp and used for joining pieces of fabric together!
Posted by: Buffybot | August 29, 2008 5:51 AM
Hey, I'm an LSG'er too. This is weird, meeting incognito like this. Bookmarking the link for a knitted cephalopod-frenzy.
Posted by: Knitterman | August 29, 2008 6:56 AM
Yoo-hoo! Another Ravelry member here (on Ravelry: Knitivity), long-time knitter and crocheter (40-ish years) and full-time yarn dyer to feed the addictions of fiber artists. And fan of PZ/Pharyngula, of course!
(blatant, shameless plug-- if any of y'all take advantage of my Labor Day Sale on sock or lace yarns, email me first to get a Pharyngula discount!) ray (at) knitivity (dot) com
Gotta love the free-thinking fiber artists!
Posted by: Justin H. | August 29, 2008 7:53 AM
Internet.
Posted by: spyderkl | August 29, 2008 8:50 AM
Woohoo! It almost makes up for the knitting stuff. Of course, if you had taken a swipe at crochet, it would have made me really, really sad.
And yes, I am another godless heathen fiber junkie.
Posted by: Saint Pudalia | August 29, 2008 9:57 AM
But what about us sewists? Are there no cephalopods for us? Sock monkey-style octopi don't count!
Posted by: Annie | August 29, 2008 10:36 AM
So PZ, where should we mail all the cephalopods once crafted?
Posted by: jim | August 29, 2008 10:48 AM
Looks like fun. But the last time I tried knitting it rather upset my wife--largely because I turned out to be better at it than she is! I think I'm still supposed to be making her a cable knit sweater as a penance...
Posted by: Woozle | August 29, 2008 11:32 AM
Knitting kills kittens.
Posted by: Annie | August 29, 2008 11:38 AM
Anyone interested in participating in the cephalopod craftalong, hit up Ravelry. There are threads going under the Atheist/Agnostic and the Pharyngula Phan Klub, so check it out!
Posted by: Patricia | August 29, 2008 11:47 AM
#8 - Nerd - Are you serious? Only one of the Ilk, Maureen, knows what tatting even is. ;)
Posted by: kmarissa | August 29, 2008 12:15 PM
Oooh! Tatting is awesome... mostly because people have no idea what you're doing ;)
Down side is, I never know what to do with my various doily results. I think they've all turned into Christmas decorations, now.
Posted by: ThirtyFiveUp | August 29, 2008 12:24 PM
Angie #18
Just in time for PZ's colonoscopy.
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/08/in_case_you_were_wondering.php
Posted by: Carlie | August 29, 2008 12:27 PM
Knitting needles are godly, being as one can make the sign of the cross from them, and knitting is a divine gift from above. Crochet needles are single, and thereby resemble the devil's pitchfork, and therefore crochet is the tool of Satan.
Posted by: Carlie | August 29, 2008 12:29 PM
Tatting, with all those little pins, though... that's just straight Kafka, is what that is.
Posted by: kmarissa | August 29, 2008 12:32 PM
@ 43
Perhaps that's why I prefer crocheting to knitting... ;)
Oh, that, and the obvious enormous advantages of crocheting over knitting. ;)
Posted by: kmarissa | August 29, 2008 12:36 PM
Hm... I've only done the tatting with a tatting shuttle. Is there a kind with pins? I thought those were used for straight-up pin lace-making.
But not to derail or anything. Uh, science! Science!
Posted by: Carlie | August 29, 2008 12:42 PM
Crap. I confused tatting with pin lace. My bad. Wait, it wasn't my fault! I noticed a crocheter muttering something nearby! She bewitched me into confusion! Saaaaataaaannn!!!
Posted by: AmyD | August 29, 2008 12:44 PM
I needle tat- in which you use one very large needle.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | August 29, 2008 12:56 PM
Patricia, I typed "tatting+cephalopod" into Google and got 390 hits, including this thread. So patterns are available.
Posted by: kmarissa | August 29, 2008 1:09 PM
AmyD, I'm intrigued. I may have to learn more.
Carlie, admittedly, I only prefer crocheting because for whatever reason I find it much easier to understand how the stitches come together, and therefore can make up my own patterns or play around with the ones I've got. Knitting is much more of a black box to me. That, and how I can't travel with it without losing half the stitches off the needle.
Posted by: Sili | August 29, 2008 2:14 PM
It is said that Dirac was once visiting a colleague (perhaps Wigner?, I forget). After a long evening of physics chat he took his leave.
Several hours later he came back and knocked loudly on the door so that poor mrs Wigner (or whoever it was) had to get up and open the door in her housecoat. Outside she found a very agitated Dirac:
"Ah, mrs Wigner! Just the woman I was looking for! That thing you sat doing with your yarn all evening? There are exactly two topologically identical ways of doing that! Let me show you the other!"
And he them proceeded to show her with his pudgy fingers what everyone knows as purl.
Lovely story, but unlikely to be true since very little knitting gets done with just plain (correct me if I'm wrong - I never got any good at it. And I can crotchet at all). Also it doesn't take into account twisted stitches - though I'll grant that they may be considered topologically different.
Posted by: spyderkl | August 29, 2008 3:10 PM
Saint Pudalia #35: There's a couple/three sewing patterns on that page, I think. I got so distracted when I saw the crochet patterns that I really didn't notice too much else.
Posted by: Moses | August 29, 2008 3:35 PM
I'm trying to get my wife to knit you an octopus.
Posted by: Sarah | August 29, 2008 3:51 PM
Gasp! That was before I became a regular reader. Yes, knitting is far, far superior to religion. But knitters are far superior to non-knitters, and we do want to convert everyone.
Posted by: Carlie | August 29, 2008 4:14 PM
kmarissa - My grandmother tried to teach me to crochet when I was a kid. I never got beyond a double stitch, and that badly. I never could get the hang of it. I started knitting in grad school, and it seemed a lot easier. However, that early training didn't leave me, and I somehow improvised a Continental sort of hold with a weird yarn twist because I held it all like it was crochet. The real knitters in the grad group I was in didn't know what to do with me when I asked for help, because they just couldn't grok what on earth I was doing. :)
Posted by: Patricia | August 29, 2008 7:25 PM
FINALLY!
http://www.ds9designs.com/octopi.html
They have two patterns for sale. The sillies I can make the things from just looking at the picture.
The free seahorse pattern and dragon flies are nice too.
I'll gussy mine up with colors and beads.
Did you check out the pictures on Cuttlefish's link? Nudibranchs!
Posted by: Patricia | August 29, 2008 11:07 PM
Could one of you post the knitting pharyngula fan site so I can just click on it?
You have all posted some lovely art here!
I had my mom go buy the tatting pattern for me to make the Octopus (felt guilty). I'm curious about the two shuttle split ring thing.
Knitter man - your dye job Southern Belle looks like the cephalopod PZ posted a couple of weeks ago in colors. How tightly is that stuff spun? I can't tat with anything less than #10 DMC thread. Usually I favor #30. DMC Cebella or silk when I can get it (ha!) are what I like best.
I don't knit or crochet (I can) but it would be fun to see the pharyngula fans projects. We tatters are the most horrid old snobs in the world, but what the hay! We can all squid together. ;)
Posted by: dieselrain | August 30, 2008 8:13 AM
The tatted octopi are precious! Wish I knew how to tat. After 50+ years of knitting, I still love it and am not ready to give it up for another needlework skill, so am happy and willing to let the tatters reign supreme in the world of "needle arts." Thanks for the pattern references, all, and add me to the pharyngula knitters cohort: another godless knitter, minding her knitting! (Here we have the Minnesota Knitters Guild, open to all who want to join. On the web, etc.)
Posted by: ArtCoffeeWords | September 2, 2008 3:19 AM
My kids have a whole pile of cephalopods and other marine creatures I have crocheted and kit for them over the years. I am a godless, knitting, crocheting, sewing, homeschooling mom with a marine biology degree that goes unused except for some really great biology lessons for my kids and, of course, anatomically correct yarn creations.
I am in the AAC group on Ravelry too. (same name)