…and this is a 
I get email
Category: Kooks
Posted on: August 26, 2008 1:48 AM, by PZ Myers
It's true — the cracker incident is still dribbling on in my mailbox. The email is down in volume considerably — only a few dozen angry letters a day. I'm still getting a handful of actual letters every day, and those are both comical and pathetic. Usually, they're an announcement of some ceremony that was carried out to rescue me from evil. I've also got lots of pamphlets and even a couple of books about 'eucharistic miracles', which aren't having the effect the senders intend, I'm sure — all they do is demonstrate a greater depth of insanity than I had previously imagined.
I've tossed a few of the recent letters below the fold for your amusement.
Someone calling himself Archdeacon Malli has this to say:
You're a bigot, at a backwater nothing university of has-been white leftist scum. I hope you lose your job soon.
Jacob Ford is obsessed with my man-bosoms.
if you will believe in God when you are watching your man tits burn in hell you fat bastard.
Clearly you're mad at God for making you such a fatass who has the intelligence of a 14 year old.
Why don't you try debating a grownup Christian intellectual so we can all laugh at what an idiot you are and how you are a third rate professor at a second rate school who has to be an anti-religious bigot to sell his boring bloated juvenile books.
...I suppose you're already in hell sitting around pecking away at your computer becoming an ever fatter bastard and separating yourself further from happiness. I'm gonna pray that God forgives you!
I wanna thank you actually...I believe in Jesus Christ completely for the first time because he suffered humiliation in all his magnanimity at the hands of one of his lowest creatures! Enjoy your pathetic lonely life...find God if you want to be happy before you die!
Seriously though you and the other 6% of the world who believe in nothing are having such an affect on the world! I mean since the Enlightenment and the first hateful atheists so much bad has happened to the Holy Church...she is the largest unified institution in the world (I will remind you that the Muslims are not unified) and has more money than Warren Buffet...
You make forty, maybe fifty thousand a year...probably can't get a date with a decent woman and kill yourself with unnecessary stress about other people's beliefs...I think it's cute how obsessed with us you are titty boy!!!
Scott Reich has been writing repeatedly.
How are we to believe that you actually have a consecrated host? For all we know, you've only obtained an unconsecrated wafer. You want some morons to mail you hosts, and you are going to take their word for it that these hosts have been consecrated by a Catholic priest! You expect the world to believe you; that you are desecrating a host consecrated by a Catholic priest. Your crowd would have to be present at a Catholic Mass and observe that the priest had said the words of Christ over the bread to determine that transubstantiation had taken place. You can't even back your own sick promise, Mr Myers. Even if you go through with your threat, you can't ever prove that you desecrated a consecrated host. Only if God performs a miracle when you begin your abuse would we know, and if that happens, you'd better start begging for mercy, clown. What a hillbilly you are! You beg. By the way, the Son of God isn't a cracker - you are. You must live in a trailer park.
He just can't shut up.
Maybe you won't read this. Maybe you will. I will write anyway. I am not sure you had a consecrated host in your possession. You may have received one; the one you pierced. I respect your profession; that you are a biology professor - but now I can't see anything but a man who is obsessed with hating God. You don't really care about biology. You only care about hating God and getting revenge on him; about preaching to people that God doesn't exist and to question everything, as you said. I know you don't care about this, you may even be delighted by this, but you have deeply hurt a lot of people by what you've done. It's not about the mean replies you may have received. It's about tearing people to pieces and being happy about it. Why would you want to do that? I respected your standing as a professor in biology, but I can't respect you now. I see that you are hiding behind a mask; pretending to be a biologist, but in reality you are a devil.
But then he apologizes. Sort of.
I wrote you a letter in anger, and I need to apologize for my rudeness and ask your forgiveness. I am sorry that I called you a hillbilly and said that you must live in a trailer park. While I hate what you did, I don't hate you. In fact, when you did that, I realized that I was seeing Jesus' sufferings all over again: the mocking, the contempt,the diabolical hatred, the torture and awful death. I know he didn't die again, but I could witness his sufferings again in what you did. I also learned that I don't comprehend his love for us. He really does love his enemies. I didn't respond to you like he does. I responded like a disciple who does not comprehend his teacher. I got an eye opener about how to love as Jesus does in the way he responded to you. He let you handle him and hurt him, but he didn't resist. A lesson for me. I hope you will let him in one day. He exists.
Richard D'Orlando is fairly typical — much frothing at the mouth, lots of illogical nonsense, and a frightening insistence that his delusions are reality.
Hey meatball, ever think what happens when your body dies? What do you think happens to your immortal soul, if you have one? Oh you don't have one you say? Wrong. Even imbeciles like you have one and you will be judged when you die. Anyone who denies the existence of God just has to look around the world about him to know this just didn't happen. Maybe you were treated disgracefully when you were a kid and this is your way of getting back. You are a little piece of....... nothing. BUT science teaches us that not even the slightest particle of dust disappears without leaving a trace. So when man dies mortally his soul lives on and never dies. Our souls are destined for heaven not the hell you are working towards. Satan loves morons like you because he does not want anyone to think or know he exists. Ever think why satanic worshippers try to steal the consecrated Hosts in Catholic churches to desecrate them in their vile worship of the father of all lies? It is because, as evil and stupid as they are, they know the consecrated Host is the real presence of Christ, Body, Soul, Blood and Divinity. You act as if stupidity were a virtue. I could call you a sub human pagan savage but you already know that so what is the point. Remember this pin head, All education and knowledge is meaningless and worthless without a CHILD LIKE CONFIDENCE IN GOD. Evidently your parents failed miserably instilling this in you when you were still uncorrupted by the liberal demonic freaks of the world. Hey take care and remember to say grace before you stuff your foul mouth with tofu and red wine for a long and filthy life steeped in disgraceful living.
Tofu and red wine are associated with a filthy, disgraceful life? Who knew?
At least now it's down to manageable levels…a few dozen a day is just enough for a giggle.
Comments
Posted by: Stephen Ockham | August 26, 2008 2:08 AM
I am again dumbstruck at the proud ignorence on display.
I thought I had built up an immunity to it, but it looks like all it takes is a week's worth of 'too burned out/busy to read blogs like this' to reset my tolerance threshold.
Posted by: hje | August 26, 2008 2:08 AM
Jacob's obviously got a thing for man tits. That's scary.
Posted by: gdlchmst | August 26, 2008 2:16 AM
Is it just me, or do all the letters reiterate the formats of the ones previously posted? The cracker-fundies aren't really a creative bunch, are they?
Posted by: Spinoza | August 26, 2008 2:16 AM
What books?!
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | August 26, 2008 2:17 AM
"...probably can't get a date with a decent woman."
Yeah but its really the indecent ones everyone wants.
I would like to however give a hat tip to Mr D'Orlando. I was sitting here wondering what to cook for dinner and the tofu/red wine thing has given me ideas. I'm off to make my evil atheist, satanist inspired, cooked-on-the-ever-burning-hellfires dinner.
Posted by: H.H. | August 26, 2008 2:18 AM
Nowhere to be found in any of these letters is anything approaching a rational argument. It's all emotion, emotion emotion...baseless assertion, baseless assertion...insult, insult, insult.
And these sorts of magical thinkers outnumber us 10 to 1. The unmates are truly running the asylum.
Posted by: Zeno | August 26, 2008 2:19 AM
I know you're not wasting your time replying to these people (you're not, are you?), but one possible riposte to all those folks who insist there's no proof that the wafer you tossed was a consecrated host:
"You must have faith!"
That would give them a cheery little laugh and then calm them down. I'm almost certain. Amen!
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | August 26, 2008 2:20 AM
Before I go though I'd like to bring attention to, what is probably my favourite moron fundie quote EVER.EVER. EVER.
"All education and knowledge is meaningless and worthless without a CHILD LIKE CONFIDENCE IN GOD"
Says it all really doesn't it?
Posted by: Kapten Kalabajooie | August 26, 2008 2:37 AM
"How are we to believe that you actually have a consecrated host? For all we know, you've only obtained an unconsecrated wafer."
Could this be a skeptic amongst fundies? There may actually be hope for Mr. Reich yet. We should all not-pray for his unsalvation and the removal of his religious brainwashing.
...or we could just ignore his and the other fundamentalists' impotent threats and insults and go about our work forwarding humankind.
Posted by: OctoberMermaid | August 26, 2008 2:42 AM
"All education and knowledge is meaningless and worthless without a CHILD LIKE CONFIDENCE IN GOD"
Now how would he know this? He obviously isn't on friendly terms with education OR knowledge.
Oh, wait, right. Yeah, the Bible told him so. Ok, good. Case closed. God said it, he believed it, what a dipshit.
Posted by: Ross of Ballard | August 26, 2008 2:42 AM
There appear to be quite a few good recipes involving tofu and red wine:
http://www.google.com/search?q=tofu+red+wine
Posted by: Bachalon | August 26, 2008 2:46 AM
Wow, some of those were more than a little bit lengthy.
Posted by: dean cameron | August 26, 2008 2:46 AM
I think "MEATBALL" would be a nice personalized license plate, meself.
Posted by: Nix | August 26, 2008 2:49 AM
I'm not surprised so much that PZ has written books that he hasn't told us about (he's obviously saving them for 2010, when he'll be unable to post for six months owing to having broken his [...] and twisted his [...] in the Great Octupus Rumpus), but rather that Hell has an Internet connection.
Who knew? (Who does Hell use as an ISP? Probably Panix, Pandemonium's local ISP ;} )
Posted by: Pikemann Urge | August 26, 2008 2:51 AM
See, PZ, you've just given the self-righteous free ammo. Now they think Jesus was martyred more than once!
Stunts like the one you pulled - not that I care personally - are like stirring up the silt on the seabed. It would have been cooler to simply explain how few Christians actually understand how this tradition came to be - long after the first century.
Zeno's idea is great!
BTW PZ how did you get an unbroken consecrated wafer. That's the interesting bit.
Posted by: Saganist | August 26, 2008 2:54 AM
I must agree with Jacob that it's possible the reason you were able to desecrate the sacred host is because it was truly the glorious transubstantiated Body of Christ, and in his infinite mercy and humility, he humbled himself into the form of a meek and lowly wafer, which could have smote you down mightily but chose to bear the suffering and degradation like the true Lord and God he really is.
On the other hand... maybe the holy wafer put up no resistance because it was just a fracking cracker!
Eh, flip a coin, they both seem equally straightforward and plausible.
Posted by: Jenny | August 26, 2008 2:58 AM
Yes, I was wondering about that too. Maybe it's PZ's dirty little secret, he writes books for Christians - this whole atheistic scientist thing is just a schtick!
I can't help noticing that the grammar is much better in these emails than the usual tripe that we see posted by the deluded on this site... Anyone care to offer suggestions as to why?
Posted by: Brain Hertz | August 26, 2008 2:59 AM
I have no idea what that means... but it sounds very negative to me.
Posted by: DLC | August 26, 2008 3:03 AM
Uh, Right. I'm no fan of tofu but I do agree with Bride of Shrek about the favorite quote.
Posted by: Greymalkin | August 26, 2008 3:04 AM
I peed on a catholic cracker. Hack me to avenge it, you freakish internet zealots! (My IP adress is 127.0.0.1)
Posted by: Most Holy Subpope, Raven | August 26, 2008 3:07 AM
Sacrilege!!! I am truly horrified by d'Orlando. His immortal soul is in jeopardy.
Tofu should never be served with red wine. Only white. It says so in the bible somewhere but I'm too appalled to look.
D'Orlando is going to hell for sure. Unless he says 15 Hail Marys and sends us twenty bucks for our tofu and white wine slush fund.
Posted by: Diaz A. | August 26, 2008 3:10 AM
Hmm. I wonder if pumpkin wine is also a Satan-inspired liquid? 'Cause I'm having some of that with my very late supper in about five minutes. And you know what? It's really tasty.
Mmm, Satanic drinkables. But no tofu for me.
Posted by: mayhempix | August 26, 2008 3:10 AM
Too funny.
Poe's Law strikes again.
Posted by: DrFrank | August 26, 2008 3:13 AM
BUT science teaches us that not even the slightest particle of dust disappears without leaving a trace. So when man dies mortally his soul lives on and never dies.
Wow, science *proves* that the soul exists? Why did no one tell me before?
Conservation of energy = Everlasting life.
It's all so simple now!
Also, it seems like at least one of the emailers is unaware of the famed Trophy Wife(tm).
Posted by: pcarini | August 26, 2008 3:15 AM
How embarrassing, he totally proved you wrong there.
Posted by: John C. Randolph | August 26, 2008 3:19 AM
I've always suspected that the most vehement proclamations of belief, and displays of vitriol toward non-believers come from those who have some kind of inkling that it's all bullshit.
-jcr
Posted by: Kimpatsu | August 26, 2008 3:33 AM
Jacob's obviously got a thing for man tits.
That's because he's a right tit himself...
Posted by: Kseniya | August 26, 2008 3:53 AM
BoS:
Yup. What a racket. "It only works when you shut off your mind." Brilliant!
(You can only see the faeries when you're not really looking at them.)
Posted by: Kseniya | August 26, 2008 3:58 AM
BrainHertz:
It means, "The guy who wrote that is so fucking stupid, he thinks that when you die, your body goes to hell!"
Posted by: Snark | August 26, 2008 3:59 AM
@H.H.:"
Nowhere to be found in any of these letters is anything approaching a rational argument. It's all emotion, emotion emotion...baseless assertion, baseless assertion...insult, insult, insult."
Well, of course it is. You have to keep one thing in mind: The reason WHY such a lot of these people are going all frothing at the mouth.
Most of these people are just horribly stupid, mentally dull morons, normally on one of the lowest social levels. They don't get respected for anything, simply because they don't *achieve* anything. Neither in deed nor thought.
The one thing and place were they even have a shimmer of hope of getting "respect" is during their brainless prayer sessions and in church. Now the evil atheist wants to declare that the one thing, that makes them feel as if they would be worth a bit more than a turd, is basically worthless.
Of course they go all frothy at the mouth. They ARE useless stupid crap, after all. And somewhere deep within they know it.Which makes it hurt even more.
Posted by: Nick Gotts | August 26, 2008 4:00 AM
My guess is that the tofu-and-red-wine thing is because both contain possibly cardioprotective constituents - isoflavones and resveratrol respectively; hence the "long" life. The "filthy" part, I think he's expecting you to provide for yourself!
Posted by: Ed Darrell | August 26, 2008 4:04 AM
Then there's the stuff that you don't even see. I must admit that Father Joe's rants have had a powerful effect on me, as a Christian -- not the effect Father Joe wishes. Don't go to his site unless you really, really want to see subtle disconnections from reality displayed in a way that makes one recognize that wackoes are all around:
http://fatherjoe.wordpress.com/2008/08/12/host-desecration-not-free-speech-but-terrorism/
Posted by: devnull | August 26, 2008 4:05 AM
I've always suspected that the most vehement proclamations of belief, and displays of vitriol toward non-believers come from those who have some kind of inkling that it's all bullshit.
Agreed. Who do you think they are trying to convince?
Posted by: damian.pl | August 26, 2008 4:08 AM
What a style! What a logic! Surely it should be published.
Maybe with this title: "Letter to a Atheist Nation"
Posted by: Al | August 26, 2008 4:09 AM
Red wine...tofu. Hmmm, maybe a slice of tofu lying neatly between two round 'crackers'; washed down with some Christian Brothers red plonk. Wait....maybe we can get you some genuine holy wine (aka Jesus blood).
Posted by: Michael X | August 26, 2008 4:09 AM
This list of letter feels like a party game, where you read a letter and then create the most appropriate description from a pool of words.
In this case the pool would start with: teh, stoopid, burns, weapons grade, knuckle dragging, circular, delusion, vapid, hypocritical, sadistic, homoerotic, self-loathing, fantasy, narrow, hateful, degraded, ironic, pathetic, sad, miniscule, ... add your own words! Maybe by the end we'll have another game to play besides Creationist Bingo!
I can just see it. It'll be the "Apples to Apples 'Nutcase Christian Letter Edition'".
Posted by: Ragutis | August 26, 2008 4:13 AM
Jacob hasn't been following you for long, has he, PZ? That or he thinks as little of your debate opponents as many of us do.
6% of the world are atheist? (I presume that's what was meant.)I'd guess more like 16%, and that may be conservative. Add in Buddhists and many Confucians, and I'm thinking we've likely got somewhere between 1/5 and 1/4 of the planet that doesn't believe in gods.
Well, since the cracker thing has come back, I posted this while you were travelling, PZ. It's buried deep in one of the longer threads started by a Minion and thought I'd repeat it in a more visible spot early on in the comments:
Donahue was on EWTN's "The World Over" Aug. 1st. The topic was anti-Catholicism, and you came up. Need I say that the description of events was less than accurate? Audio available here for those interested. I was baby-sitting my mother that night after she'd had an insulin reaction, and she likes to sleep to the Catholic channel. Anyway, I had to do a double-take when I saw PZ's face staring out from the TV screen as I walked in to check her blood sugar.
Posted by: Karen | August 26, 2008 4:15 AM
@Most Holy Subpope, Raven: You serve red wine with tofu when you dress it up in a rich marinara sauce with lots of basil and garlic and pour it over whole-grain spaghetti. Yum. Now I know what I'll fix for dinner...
"probably can't get a date with a decent woman"
Now THAT is an unspeakable insult to Trophy Wife. PZ, you will have to comfort her by taking her on another vacation.
Posted by: Thomas | August 26, 2008 4:21 AM
"All education and knowledge is meaningless and worthless without a CHILD LIKE CONFIDENCE IN GOD. "
... and the grapes were sour, anyway.
Posted by: Chris (Fabulously in the City) | August 26, 2008 4:28 AM
I'll second that! PZ "Meatball" Myers just sounds SO delicious...can you please add that as a middle name? :-)
Posted by: Sleestak | August 26, 2008 4:39 AM
I'd love to hear these letters read in a podcast or on YouTube like Dawkins did with his crazy mail. Maybe done by celebrities or celebrity impersonators.
Posted by: FlameDuck | August 26, 2008 4:47 AM
Hahah, why not try debating a grownup Christian intellectual? Because they're figments of your fevered imagination!
1 Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became an adult, I set aside childish ways. Like Religion.
Posted by: Ghost of Minnesota | August 26, 2008 4:48 AM
Like Morgan Freeman! His voice can make anything sound respectable.Posted by: BrainFromArous | August 26, 2008 4:57 AM
I'm an atheist who has no more truck with Catholic ritual superstitions than with Islamic caninophobia, but I'd love to see PZ print a lucid, sincere letter condemning his actions - you know he's received some - and then respond to it.
That would be far preferable to his continuing to shoot fish in a barrel (a cracker barrel?) in what has become a pathetic, ego-stroking exercise.
"Oh, look at this crazy hate mail! I'm so much better than these god-crazed dolts, aren't I? Huzzah for me!"
Posted by: Christophe Thill | August 26, 2008 4:59 AM
It's well known that tofu and red wine are unamerican. Well, I guess the guy meant sushi instead of tofu (remember what was said about John Kerry?). And I guess he never heard about the wineyards of California. But the message is clear: if you're an atheist, then you're a traitor.
Posted by: Feynmaniac | August 26, 2008 5:14 AM
You kinda have to wonder while reading these whether PZ is playing a joke on us and writing this stuff himself. I mean how can someone with the ability to type (even with numerous spelling and grammatical errors) would think like this.
Posted by: Rose Colored Glasses | August 26, 2008 5:14 AM
It's not just that the inmates are running the insane asylum, they've turned the asylum into an academy. And they are breeding, and indoctrinating their offspring.
Posted by: Nick Gotts | August 26, 2008 5:20 AM
BrainFromArous@44,
Concern trolls are still concerned.
Posted by: Arno | August 26, 2008 5:41 AM
"Ever think why satanic worshippers try to steal the consecrated Hosts in Catholic churches to desecrate them in their vile worship of the father of all lies? It is because, as evil and stupid as they are, they know the consecrated Host is the real presence of Christ, Body, Soul, Blood and Divinity."
LOL! I think he forgot to note the rest of his beliefs: that Satanists have books that talk when you open them, are escorted by hoards of black dogs with bright red eyes, ride broomsticks through the air and meet on hills to kiss the arse of a goat.
It is encouraging to know that such thinking isn't excluded to the developing nations only. True, old-fashioned superstition. Wow...
Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook | August 26, 2008 5:57 AM
Of course PZ can't get a date with a decent woman. Decent women don't date married men. And of course, since PZ has the Trophy Wife - who as seen in the Galapagos pix is a knockout - he doesn't need to date the indecent ones.
Actually, kudos to PZ. Being hated by total strangers is not easy, even on the internet. It takes some real grown up sanity to let insults from idiots just roll off your back. And that's not easy to achieve.
Posted by: JT | August 26, 2008 6:00 AM
Michael X @36:
I'm envisioning a red-wine-and-tofu drinking game. You know, every time satanic is mentioned, take a sip. The phrase "burn in hell" earns two sips. Whenever PZ's intelligence is questioned, have a piece of tofu, prepared to your taste. Etc. Though I'd probably be passed out before finishing even one letter.
Posted by: Matt Heath | August 26, 2008 6:03 AM
Definitely white wine with tofu. Or saki. Or beer even. But only a diseased mind would conceive of tofu and red wine.
Posted by: Duff | August 26, 2008 6:08 AM
Professor Myers,
Somewhere out there, lying in wait, is a "christian intellectual" who is going to eat your lunch, and/or tofu. Be very afraid!
Posted by: Jake | August 26, 2008 6:09 AM
Cath, I agree, it's being hated by total strangers is not easy, and I believe it to be a badge of honour!
I continue to applaud you PZ, for brightening up my day with a giggle!
Posted by: Rick R | August 26, 2008 6:17 AM
Wow- "You don't really care about biology. You only care about hating God and getting revenge on him; about preaching to people that God doesn't exist and to question everything, as you said."
Look at that last sentence. "God doesn't exist". "Question everything".
I wonder if these are equally evil? Do they mean the same thing to the writer? Can he even tell the difference?
Epically sad.
Posted by: Sleeping at the Console | August 26, 2008 6:21 AM
Well you theists don't have much trouble believing all sorts of crazy stuff. What's stopping you this time?
Posted by: Rick R | August 26, 2008 6:22 AM
And the concept of "getting revenge on God" is hilarious!
I'm picturing a goombah hitman, Pussy on "The Sopranos".
"The diety, he'll be sleepin' wit da fishes. You got da canoli?"
Posted by: cousinavi | August 26, 2008 6:24 AM
Trying to figure out how PZ plans to get revenge on God.
Is it merely by refusing to believe in him (her/it/ramen)?
What does it mean that PZ is allegedly hating / plotting revenge against something which he doesn't believe exists?
In my neighbourhood, we'd put soap in a tube sock and beat the living hell out of someone (if we REALLY wanted revenge...you know, not just for fun).
But how does one knock an imaginary God down...and where do you hit it with the soap/sock?
Ow. My head hurts. Just in case, though, I'm keeping my socks handy.
Posted by: Stephen Couchman | August 26, 2008 6:25 AM
If this really is a new weird sexual fascination you've stumbled upon, you ought to capitalize. Unholymantits.com is totally available.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | August 26, 2008 6:30 AM
In an internal network that lies behind a router. That's why it starts with 127. The 0.0.1 part is explained by the fact that such networks tend to contain very few computers.
Do we? I don't. Do you?
In fact, I'd be pretty surprised if he had got any such thing. People who don't get mad at the incident don't find it worth writing letters about.
Sake.
Posted by: Matt7895 | August 26, 2008 6:31 AM
Jesus would be so proud. True loving peaceful Christians.
Posted by: Donovan | August 26, 2008 6:32 AM
Actually, no he couldn't. Pagan's believe in spirits, magical spells, strange creatures... You know, like Christians but without the freakish rhinestone clad sweaty "rock-star" preachers.
Um, education is supposed to elevate us from "Child Like" confidence in fairy tales. Or did I miss something? Does he want me to put teeth under my pillow? I think "Child Like" is the best descriptor of all of these letters.
Posted by: Dutch Delight | August 26, 2008 6:36 AM
Christian intellectuals? Ohnoes!!!!
Posted by: acj | August 26, 2008 6:37 AM
Fun fact:
I just noticed that I get more theistic with every beer I drink. Really, I do!
Does that mean that religious people are drunk beyond belief (pun intended) 24/7? If they are, I really need to sign up with one of those loony christian rackets.
That raises an interesting question, though: Driving a car when under the influence of drugs is illegal for very good reasons, so shouldn't believers' licenses be revoked?
Aww, damn it, only one beer left. So I'm off to bed now, and I'll wake up a sober but slightly hung-over atheist. Too bad. Being religious for an hour and a half was delightful.
Next time I'm drunk, I'll pray for PZ and all Pharyngulites, and when I'm done with that, I'll pray for random people. No, I'll pray for anything that f*ing moves!
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Posted by: Mark Peterson | August 26, 2008 6:39 AM
Wow, how many people have insulted your ability as a professor so far!??! *shakes head* As if it was relevant to the cracker!
Anyway, rateaprof.com has four entries for Paul Myers at UofMinn Morris----all of which have 3.8/5. To give you a little perspective, mine average around 3 so I'd say PZ is pretty good at his job. :) I did notice that your class is hard--it's the consistently lowest category--but I happen to get more out of challenging courses...
Cheerio!
Posted by: slang | August 26, 2008 6:43 AM
Damnit. I've been imagining everything!
Posted by: Evolving Squid | August 26, 2008 6:51 AM
grownup Christian intellectual
There's three words you don't see strung together very often.
Posted by: Dan | August 26, 2008 6:51 AM
For some who are atheists, the fact that meat-robots who have no soul and who are going nowhere, and yet who believe in something between birth and death - sure makes them upset...
Why bother?
Posted by: Buckeye Hamburger | August 26, 2008 6:56 AM
Meatball, meatball ... what does it mean? It must be a sign from On High ...
AHA! EUREKA! AN EPIPHANY! PRAISE THE PASTA! For I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!
Brothers and sisters, the prophet D'Orlando has delivered unto us the Good News that PZ Myers, whom we held for an ordinary mortal, is in truth a part of the body of The Noodly One, and therefore Most Holy. Meatball, get it? He's tucked in under all of those Noodly Appendages. Heck, PZ is touched by Noodly Appendages all the time!
You can think of it as a kind of Holy Trinity: The Meatball, the Other Meatball, and the Hunk of Noodles, all of which together form the FSM. Think of PZ as the transsubstantiated flesh of the Meatball. One of 'em, anyway.
PZ, as never before I stand in awe of your fleshy self. Praise the Pasta, and please pass the Parmesan.
Posted by: Brian Knoblock | August 26, 2008 6:57 AM
The individual that insults PZ for his pay is a really, really misguided in his thinking. PZ is educating people about a subject he has a passion for and is in dire need of a resurgence in this country. That means more than dollars and cents.
Education and knowledge are far more valuable than numbers printed on paper.
Posted by: Holbach | August 26, 2008 7:04 AM
Dan @ 68 I left you lying in your grave with a decaying brain and with no place to go. But I see you are still here pouring forth insane effluient from that still existing brain. Those numerous insane ranting letters to PZ are abject proof that religion is the most pernicious form of insanity and only serve to prove what religion can have effects on already diseased brains. Is this the hand of your imaginary god or the random mutant effects of evolution gone awry?
Posted by: Raiko | August 26, 2008 7:04 AM
I love how "I'll pray for you" is always used as an insult.
It would do so well in a Monthy Python sketch.
"Sir, the enemies are outnumbering us. What do you suggest we should do?"
"We'll tell them... we'll pray for them!"
*shocked gasping*
Posted by: Bjoern Brembs | August 26, 2008 7:07 AM
I've been reading these emails and comments now since this silly cracker incident started to develop. Was Scott Reich really the only one who actually realized that the infantile rage, religious bigotry, helpless anger and open hate from Catholics only reinforces the view that your act has triggered them to do the exact opposite of what they preach?
The cognitive dissonance of these people boggles the mind!
Posted by: Dan | August 26, 2008 7:08 AM
Wait a minute Holbach....
I've got the perfect argument for proving that God has a sense of humor....
man-boobs!
Posted by: Kimbo Jones | August 26, 2008 7:12 AM
Aren't Christians supposed to be all "I'm really really concerned for your immortal soul and I want to help you" as opposed to "I'm really really pissed off you stupid asshole and I want to kill you"? And they think they're better for this? Wow. I'm just......I give up on these people.
Posted by: Cheezits | August 26, 2008 7:14 AM
How are we to believe that you actually have a consecrated host?
Yeah, *that* defies belief.
For all we know, you've only obtained an unconsecrated wafer.
What, they can't tell the difference between a wafer and The Body Of Our Lord?
Weren't you supposed to lose your job and/or get blown up by Islamic terrorists by now?
Posted by: Shawn Holland | August 26, 2008 7:14 AM
"I am sorry that I called you a hillbilly and said that you must live in a trailer park."
Hey! What's wrong with trailer parks? He must not have seen those sweet triple-wides with room for a hot tub. :)
Posted by: Jud | August 26, 2008 7:17 AM
David Marjanović, OM wrote to tell us that the IP address 127.0.0.1, which greymalkin dared those offended by wafercide to hack, is not a public IP address, but only occurs "[i]n an internal network that lies behind a router." I.e., no matter who you are, it's *your own* IP address.
You're usually a whole bunch more alert than that, David. Too much tofu and red wine? ;-)
Greymalkin is hoping the offended parties expend a great deal of energy furiously hacking - themselves. (Or in the likely event they already know 127.0.0.1 is their own IP address, he's in effect saying "go hack yourself.")
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | August 26, 2008 7:19 AM
Man, have you got it backwards. Didn't you notice who writes all that hate mail? Hint: it ain't "some who are atheists".
You may also have noticed that the filename of this post is "i_get_email_21.php". That's right, it's the 21st time PZ publishes funny hate mail he got.
Posted by: Holbach | August 26, 2008 7:20 AM
Wait a minute Dan.... I've got the perfect argument for proving that there is no imaginary god and only evolutionary processes.... You!
Posted by: John M. | August 26, 2008 7:22 AM
#26 "I've always suspected that the most vehement proclamations of belief, and displays of vitriol toward non-believers come from those who have some kind of inkling that it's all bullshit."
Reminds me of a psychiatric/psychology theory that the most virulent homophobic men are those who experience some uncertainty about their heterosexuality.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | August 26, 2008 7:24 AM
Or more probably the 22nd.
Hard to imagine that anyone who can hack at all doesn't know what kind of address 127.0.0.1 is.
No tofu and no wine ever. They both stink.
Ah, so you've never seen a Catholic mass? Only one of the hosts, one which is extra-large so everyone can see it, is broken. All others are given out whole.
Posted by: SC | August 26, 2008 7:25 AM
The other day I cruelly smashed some nuts to bits for a pesto. While others nearby wept softly, they themselves stoically accepted their terrible fate. I was impressed and deeply moved.
Posted by: Doug | August 26, 2008 7:25 AM
Sheesh, everyone knows red wine and tofu don't go well together. I'm supposing the guy is thinking wafers and red wine are a symbol of a meaningful life? What a nutter.
Posted by: melior | August 26, 2008 7:28 AM
It does make one wonder why the author decided to SHOUT this particular bit. To some of the religiously deluded, childish naivete is something to strive for, because it makes them feel good.
Jean Meslier (1732):
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | August 26, 2008 7:39 AM
wonderful
Posted by: Kevin | August 26, 2008 7:47 AM
I have zero patience with the mindless blatherings of the outraged Christians, but I'm not turning cartwheels about the desecration of a religious symbol. Those of us who think and who want to secure toleration from the Religious Right (who have ruled this country for twenty of the last 28 years and are likely not goping away anytime soon) should have the FREAKING COMMON SENSE TO TREAT THE RELIGIOUS WITH THE SAME TOLERANCE AND UNDERSTANDING THAT WE ARE ENTITLED TO. In the eyes of a Christian who believes in the Real Presence, what you're doing is among the most profane things you can do.
It's simply wrong. Please stop.
Posted by: Holbach | August 26, 2008 7:51 AM
Meloir @ 85 To add to the comment by astute Jean Meslier on insane religion, I am currently reading "Ghost Train To the Eastern Star" by Paul Theroux, and in his journey through Azerbaijan he makes this observation: "Religion needs harshness and hokum to succeed." Paul is putting mildly but succinctly! Religion has the same effect all over the earth in many cultures, just as cancer does not discriminate in the same manner.
Posted by: John C. Welch | August 26, 2008 7:58 AM
That's why the one pr