Pharyngula

Vital news for this sacred day!

I am not yet in Madison, but I am in the Land of the Cheeseheads and am about to hit the road and expect to be there by early afternoon. And then I discover two coincidences, one happy and one mildly problematic.

By my good luck, Ron Numbers is speaking on the campus today, at 3:30 in Science Hall room 180. Hey, I should be able to make that! I just hope he doesn’t dispense some jewel of wisdom that compels me to rewrite my talk on the spot.

One concern: this is September 19th! It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day! This means, of course, that I have to give my lecture in a hokey dialect, which always makes us People of the Pirate sound silly to those who have no respect for our traditions. This is important to us, and I sure hope others around us, even the non-believers, will honor our deeply held beliefs and join us in the ritual. It will fend off global warming, you know.

I hope someone lets Dr Numbers know. I will feel much better if he engages in a little sabre-rattling before the talk, and perhaps punctuates his major points with a holy “Arrrrr.”

Comments

  1. #1 JoJo
    September 19, 2008

    To err is human, to arr is pirate.

  2. #2 CortxVortx
    September 19, 2008

    I should know by now to check Pharyngula for important dates like “Talk Like a Pirate” Day.

  3. #3 Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT
    September 19, 2008

    What is the greatest pirate college rock band?

    Arrr. E. M.

  4. #4 Ray
    September 19, 2008

    Ahoy matey, Shiver me timbers, Arr.
    OK, that’s all I got.

    Cheers,
    Ray

  5. #5 jim
    September 19, 2008

    A pirate walks into a bar and orders a mug o’grog. As the barman is serving him, he notices that the pirate has a steering wheel down the front of his trousers. The barman is curious about this, as you would be, and as he’s passing over the grog, asks the pirate, “you know you’ve got a steering wheel down your pants, right?”

    The pirate replies: “Arrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

  6. #6 Jason Failes
    September 19, 2008
  7. #7 Donovan
    September 19, 2008

    Ar ya limey landlovers! Belwin aw’y like a swarthy sea dog be mighty strange. I be hangin’ ta me right proper ways, if’n it suit yer tastes. Avast yer scuttlebutt, lest the kracken take o’fence. Bos’n’ll lash the far o’FSM in yer hides, fore ya see me let me tongue s’loose!

  8. #8 Deborah
    September 19, 2008

    It’s also Suffrage Day in New Zealand. 115 years ago today, New Zealand was the first country in the world to extend suffrage to all women.

  9. #9 Kel
    September 19, 2008

    Yarr, the day be over already here.

  10. #10 The Science Pundit
    September 19, 2008

    Arrrr!

  11. #11 Zeno
    September 19, 2008

    God’s blood! Today’s vector calculus lecture is not going to go well! How will my students be able to distinguish between r the position vector and arr the interjection? Zounds!

  12. #12 Donovan
    September 19, 2008

    This just reminded me of a game we played in the Navy, trying to see who could talk like a pirate the longest with getting out of character. Just when it would start to get old, it would be time for the hourly reports to the senior officers. Trying to stay in character enough not to lose while looking a Navy captain in the eyes and trying to sound like you just have a speech impediment makes it funny all over again (more so for the ones watching).

  13. #13 heather
    September 19, 2008

    I love talk like a pirate day! My students have been warned…any who do not comply will be walking the plank.

    I teach French, so we’ll have to talk like French pirates. We’re going to discuss St. Malo and the Corsairs and Jean Lafitte, ARGH!!!

  14. #14 jim
    September 19, 2008

    If you talk like a pirate to a senior officer, do you get keel-hauled?

  15. #15 Darth Wader
    September 19, 2008

    Since every friday is a religious holiday, and its talk like a pirate day, its double holiday-day!

  16. #16 speedwell
    September 19, 2008

    Triple holiday for me; it’s my birthday. Arrr.

    Wonder if I can get away with talking like a pirate in the airport this afternoon. :)

  17. #17 Nerd of Redhead
    September 19, 2008

    Thank FSM it’s Arrrday.

  18. #18 Nick Gotts
    September 19, 2008

    Deborah@8,

    Not so: Republic of Tavolara, 1886. Possibly, Corsican Republic, 1755 (the constitution isn’t clear, but women had traditionally voted in village elections). New Zealand could still claim the longest continuous period of women’s suffrage, but there’s another complication. In 1893 New Zealand was not an independent state, but a self-governing Dominion of the British Empire; of non-sovereign entities, Wyoming Territory and South Australia both had full female suffrage earlier than New Zealand. See
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_women's_suffrage.

  19. #19 Hairhead
    September 19, 2008

    One day after attacking fat merchantman, a band of pirates took mercy on the youngest of the crew, and rather than making him walk the plank, adopted the boy to be the pirate captain’s cabin boy.

    “What am I to do, sir,” said the boy, trembling.

    “Just do as oi be sayin’ boy, an’ all ‘l be fine.” Just that moment as they rounded a headland, two well-armed schooners of the Royal Navy appeared and signalled their intention to fight.

    “Boy!”, roared the captain, “Go into my cabin and get my red shirt!” The boy scampered off and did this, and in a violent action, the pirates fought and defeated the two schooners. Afterward the boy asked, “Captain, why did you ask me for your shirt?”

    “Why, so if I were injured in the fighting, the crew would not see my blood and so become disheartened,” the pirate chief answered.

    Several weeks later, the pirate ship was navigating through a fog bank, and suddenly emerged into the blinding sun — and middle of a squadron of six well-armed Royal Navy frigates. “Prepare for battle!”, yelled the pirate captain to his crew, “And boy,” he whispered, “Go get my brown pants.”

  20. #20 Jason Failes
    September 19, 2008

    What’s a pirate’s favorite gas?

    Arrrrrrgon.

  21. #21 Moggie
    September 19, 2008

    This means, of course, that I have to give my lecture in a hokey dialect

    It’s more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules.

  22. #22 Chris Davis
    September 19, 2008

    Whatever you do, don’t belay that talk.

    CD

  23. #23 Doubting Foo
    September 19, 2008

    Why didn’t the pirate boy get to see the movie?

    Because it was rated Arrrr!

  24. #24 SEF
    September 19, 2008

    What be pirates a-studyin’ at pirate school?

    The aarrts!

    But some dangerous interlecherals be a-dabblin’ in the 3 aarrgghhs as well…

  25. #25 Darth Wader
    September 19, 2008

    What are pirate scarfs made of?

    Yarrrn!

  26. #26 Claudia
    September 19, 2008

    Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

    Because they can spend years at C.

  27. #27 jim
    September 19, 2008

    Why are pirates mean and nasty?

    They just ARRRR!

  28. #28 tsg
    September 19, 2008

    Where do pirate Nazi’s live?

    Arrrgentina.

  29. #29 Shash
    September 19, 2008

    Who was the greatest pirate philosopher of all times?

    Arrrchimedes

  30. #30 tsg
    September 19, 2008

    Who was the greatest pirate philosopher of all times?

    Arrrchimedes

    Avast, ye scabbarous dog! It clearly be Arristotle.

  31. #31 VegeBrain
    September 19, 2008

    Ron Numbers? Hip, hip, hooray! He’s one of the authors that cured me from 40 years of suffering the disease of Seventh Day Adventism.

  32. #32 Randy
    September 19, 2008

    Like so many people, I’m not really all that religious. Oh, sure, I wear an eyepatch on High Holy Days and the wife and I had the kids Walk the Plank, but it’s not like we go pillaging twice a week or carry a cutlass everywhere we go. To us, it’s a comforting ritual that makes us feel high and dry.
    On the other hand, any politician who doesn’t at least say “Aargh,” today can kiss my vote goodbye.

  33. #33 The Perky Skeptic
    September 19, 2008

    AHRRRRRRR!!! I can’t believe I forgot Talk Like A Pirate Day!!! I needs me a good keel-haulin’!

  34. #34 tsg
    September 19, 2008

    Like so many people, I’m not really all that religious. Oh, sure, I wear an eyepatch on High Holy Days and the wife and I had the kids Walk the Plank, but it’s not like we go pillaging twice a week or carry a cutlass everywhere we go.

    Arrrgh! Nail this man’s foot to the foredeck!

  35. #35 Dave Godfrey
    September 19, 2008

    On this day I feel Alestorm should be gettin’ a mention. “True Scottish Pirate Metal” be a most appropriate thing to listen to.

  36. #36 Randy
    September 19, 2008

    tsg @34:

    Hey, it’s not like I’m saying the Christians and Muslims and Jews and Scientologists are right! I’m just saying wouldn’t the world be a warm, cuddly place if we were completely wishy-washy?
    And nailing feet to the deck is just the kind of old-fashioned belief that makes us seem like crazy zealots in the eyes of the rest of the world. In fact, I’d go so far as to say anyone who threatens to nail a foot to the deck isn’t a REAL pastafarian. A TRUE Pastafarian thinks exactly like I do.

  37. #37 maryanne
    September 19, 2008

    Let us not forget lady pirates! Especially Grace O’Malley, Irish Pirate Queen. Argghhhh, agus Slainte!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_O'Malley

  38. #38 Patricia
    September 19, 2008

    Huzzah! Dress like a strumpet day ladies!
    Extra grog & swill for all. ;o)

  39. #39 Kalyn
    September 19, 2008

    Avast! Arr! Aye, Cap’n!

    I love this day.

  40. #40 The 502
    September 19, 2008

    On your drive back home, make sure to stop in Osseo to eat at the Norske Nook. Best pie ever – you won’t regret it!

    It’s been a couple years since I was in Wisconsin… I miss that pie! Arrrr!

  41. #41 Qwerty
    September 19, 2008

    Arrrrhhhh, even pirates need poetry! So, from youtube I present the finale of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “The Pirates of Penzance.”

    Hail Poetry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZqgwJacJMY

  42. #42 Cliff Hendroval
    September 19, 2008

    Oddly enough, it wasn’t until 1950’s version of Treasure Island with Robert Newton playing Long John Silver that pirates spoke in a cod-Cornish dialect. Before that they all talked like Errol Flynn.

  43. #43 Tony Sidaway
    September 19, 2008

    What is it about cheese that Americans find so irresistible as a derogatory term?

  44. #44 Tony Sidaway
    September 19, 2008

    So if it weren’t for Robert Newton, we’d be celebrating International Talk Like A Tasmanian Day?

  45. #45 tsg
    September 19, 2008

    What is it about cheese that Americans find so irresistible as a derogatory term?

    Have you ever had American cheese? Or, more properly, American process cheese food?

  46. #46 Dahan
    September 19, 2008

    VegeBrain @ 31,

    Fellow former SDA! Yay! Nellie Black (Ellen White to you not in the know) sure was one seriously whacked out loon.

    Fifteen men on a dead theist’s chest! Arrr!!

  47. #47 kmarissa
    September 19, 2008

    Tony,

    Cheeseheads: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheesehead

    Perhaps it’s frightening that, in this context, it isn’t necessarily a derogatory term.

  48. #48 HidariMak
    September 19, 2008

    So it’s talk like a pirate day? Well, I found a great site for MP3s lately, and some more games will soon be downloaded for my unlocked Xbox 360. What do you mean by “wrong pirate”?

  49. #49 Sili
    September 19, 2008

    tsg beat me to it. Bugger.

    Of course, PeeZed, now poor dr Numbers is gonna be awefully upset with you, since his inbox is bound to’ve been pharyngulated with direct orders, that he speak like a pirate.

  50. #50 Michele Walsh
    September 19, 2008

    Long time lurker here. Great Robert Newton story – he had been out drinking all night (as usual) and showed up at the studio where he was working on a film. He strode towards the set from his dressing room wearing only a shirt (and nothing else). His nervous dresser ran after him shouting that he had forgotten something. Newton looked down, muttered “right, you are” then shouted “MAKE UP!”

  51. #51 Johnny Vector
    September 19, 2008

    What about Manhattan pirates on the 40th floor?

    “Jones! Ye’ve blown th’ McKraken account! Fetch th’ plank an’ open th’ window. The bag ladies’ll have yer booones.”

    Or Bronx:

    “So I sez to him I sez, wooak the plaink already. Theyas foaty people waitin’ on loin.”

  52. #52 Nick Gotts
    September 19, 2008

    Arrrr, OT, ‘cept as how this here wunch of bankers makes a pirate crew look like a parcel of do-gooders!

    The BBC has the thoughts of various luminaries on “Where now for capitalism?”, including Noam Chomsky as the only non-Brit.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7621771.stm.

  53. #53 Zachary
    September 19, 2008

    That Numbers lecture sounds like fun, but I have some other plans that involve a long nap. Damn.

  54. #54 Onkel Bob
    September 19, 2008

    Arr.. matey Qwerty, 41; thanks for warning us of the scurrilous Gilber’ and Sully…

    the finale of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “The Pirates of Penzance.”

    The frau keelhauled me to a performance at City “Arr”pera many years back. Arr, Aye sooner walk the plank then be drenched wit th’t chum bucket agin.

  55. #55 Phantom Hugger
    September 19, 2008

    I declare a fatwa on all pirate/ninja related ‘comedy’.

  56. #56 Patricia
    September 19, 2008

    tsg – You wouldn’t be hinting at insulting Cheese Whiz, Arrr ya?

  57. #57 Jim Barrett
    September 19, 2008

    So October 2 would be Talk Like an Orthodox Pirate Day?

  58. #58 Captain Polyester Mather D.D.
    September 19, 2008

    Avast, Piringuloids , a quiddity of squiddity awaits thee, so get ye smart as paint to thif Addreffs

    http://www.adamant.typepad.com
    To read of Ye Arts w& Pyrates Daily,

  59. #59 Randy
    September 19, 2008

    An “older gentleman” in my office passed by my desk a few minutes ago and said, “Shiver me timbers and fuck my parrot.”

  60. #60 tsg
    September 19, 2008

    tsg – You wouldn’t be hinting at insulting Cheese Whiz, Arrr ya?

    Heavens, no. But I wouldn’t be so crass as to call it “cheese” either.

    It is most definitely Cheez.

  61. #61 freelunch
    September 19, 2008

    Patricia,

    As a proud Cheesehead, I can say that no matter what you say about Cheez Whiz, you won’t be insulting it (as long as you aren’t at Passyunk and Ninth in Philly where they’ve found a reasonable use for it.

  62. #62 MikeM
    September 19, 2008

    Karrrrl Rove and Deepak Charrrrpra arrrrre speaking in Sacarrrrmento today, maties:

    http://www.metrochamber.org/cwt/external/wcpages/wcevents/eventssplash.aspx

    Arrrr, I hate Karrrrl Rove.

  63. #63 Rey Fox
    September 19, 2008

    “On your drive back home, make sure to stop in Osseo to eat at the Norske Nook.”

    Nah, go to the Hot Fish Shop and say hi to the manager, Joel Robinson.

  64. #64 CortxVortx
    September 19, 2008

    Tonight, I’ll have to watch “Yellowbeard” and “The Crimson Permanent Assurance.”

    But not “Captain Blood” — ‘e don’t tawk lak no pie-rat!

    Oh, and “Arrr!”

  65. #65 James F
    September 19, 2008

    Avast ye!

    Jason Failes wrote @20:

    What’s a pirate’s favorite gas?

    Arrrrrrgon.

    Don’t be forgettin’ a pirate’s favorite amino acid!

    Arrrrginine!

  66. #66 Patricia
    September 19, 2008

    For those that don’t have a pirate name or person, sail on over to:
    http://stupidstuff.org/main/piratemaker.htm
    My pirate name is Jenna the Groin Guzzler… my persona..well it’s pirate porn, so we’ll leave it out. ;o)

    tsg and Freelunch – I’ll cut yerrr bar tab by 40 ducats if you insult the Whiz. Arrr ya willing to risk it?

  67. #67 idlemind
    September 19, 2008

    Looks like TLAP is being observed at various sites around the web.

  68. #68 idlemind
    September 19, 2008

    Looks like TLAP is being observed at various sites around the web.

  69. #69 PZ Myers
    September 19, 2008

    Noooo! I went to that stupidstuff site, and here’s my pirate name:

    Fancy Pants Pete
    (formerly known as PZ)

    You’re known as “The Pirate Who Might Just Be A Little Too In-Touch With His Feminine Side”. The cabin-boys are all scared of you and your crew thinks you wear way too much pink and too many ruffles. There’s almost no doubt you should have been a priest.

    I’m going to throw a snit and cut the crew’s Shirley Temple rations now.

  70. #70 Danio
    September 19, 2008

    Ha! I went to the stupid stuff site, as well. Allow me to re-introduce myself as

    Murderous Allison!

    “You look okay in Spandex and are bisexual. You can’t parallel park and you still need a man to kill bugs that get into your house. If you would just stop clouding the Pope’s mind for preferential treatment, we’d all be thankful. You secretly fantasize about a three-way with Wonder Woman and Superman. You use your flying ability even if you’ve been drinking. If only you had super speed it wouldn’t take you all day to do the laundry. Even though you’re a woman, you’re hung like a wild stallion. Uh-oh!”

    Hung like a wild stallion, eh? My stance will be duly modified for the remainder of the day :)

  71. #71 Randy Owens
    September 19, 2008

    So, how’s progress coming along on Pirate Mode for Seed ScienceBlogs?

  72. #72 tsg
    September 19, 2008

    So, how’s progress coming along on Pirate Mode for Seed ScienceBlogs?

    It’s tarrdy.

  73. #73 Randy
    September 19, 2008

    “Almost no doubt you should have been a priest”?

    Ouch, huh?

    If it makes you feel better, PZ, I’m not sure that site is perfectly calibrated. My pirate name is “Cap’n Blood and Guts”… but I’m an actor when I’m not on the high seas, and everybody knows what poofs we actors are.

  74. #74 Patricia
    September 19, 2008

    Holy shite Danio! That could get dangerous.

    Careful PZ, if you throw too big of a snit won’t we have another tsunami?

  75. #75 tsg
    September 19, 2008

    Hung like a wild stallion, eh? My stance will be duly modified for the remainder of the day :)

    A bit wider, at least.

  76. #76 Murderous Allison
    September 19, 2008

    Holy shite Danio! That could get dangerous.

    Indeed, I will almost certainly have to adjust my seat at the microscope to accommodate my massive equine proportions. Amusingly, one of the character traits to select on the pirate menu was ‘gouges out eyes’–something I do with chilling frequency to my poor Danios.

  77. #77 Sauceress
    September 19, 2008

    “You Are: The Mad Mangler”
    (formerly known as Sauceress)

    “You look good in Spandex and can tell ‘light purple’ from ‘mauve’. You can’t make up your mind, but at least you don’t sweat when you use your super strength. If you would just stop clouding your co-worker’s minds for sleazy sexual favors we’d all be relieved. You use your flying ability even if you’ve been drinking. If only you had super speed it wouldn’t take you all day to clean the house. You could have sex with the Fantastic Four and still want more. No wonder you’re so popular with the Justice League!”

    Why…why those scurvy bilge rat fleas!
    Now if ye be minding me parrot, I be havin’ me a roundevue in the copy room!

  78. #78 SASnSA
    September 19, 2008

    I’ll play this game.

    Mighty Ripper

    You enjoy ravishing young maidens so much that the Pirate Society gave you a Merit Badge. Unfortunately it also means you’ve been banned from most of the local convents, soda shops, whorehouses, and pre-schools. Arrrr, no one ever said the Pirate Life was easy!

    Except for the pre-schools, sounds about right.

  79. #79 kcrady
    September 19, 2008

    Batten the hatches an’ hoist the mizzen! I still be a waitin’ fer me Friday Kraken!!! Or is’t only Robinson Crusoe what can git sommat done by Friday? An’ Oi got termites in me leg…

  80. #80 freelunch
    September 19, 2008

    Arrgh. We didn’t even get a little “shiver me timbers” out of Prof. Numbers, but his review of the globalization of ID/Creationism was fascinating nonetheless.

  81. #81 Sauceress
    September 19, 2008

    “An’ Oi got termites in me leg…”

    Arrrgh…ol’ kerosine an’ flint’ll fix ya leg matey….kerosine an’ flint

  82. #82 Danio (aka Murderous Allison)
    September 19, 2008

    I’m confused by the numerous references to superheroes in these descriptions. Was the ‘create a pirate personna’ program perhaps hastily adapted from a similar program for generating superhero identities? References to super speed and flying ability just seem rather incongruous with pirate lore…

  83. #83 Nick Gotts
    September 19, 2008

    Avast there! Avast behind! ‘tes Screaming Sam here, another “Pirate Who Might Just Be A Little Too In-Touch With His Feminine Side”! The bloody site must be able to detect liberals and lefties by the limp-wristed way they press the keys!

  84. #84 Sauceress
    September 19, 2008

    “I’m confused by the numerous references to superheroes in these descriptions.”

    And spandex?

    Another one..
    “What’s my pirate name”
    http://www.piratequiz.com/

    Iron Prudentilla Bonney
    “A pirate’s life isn’t easy; it takes a tough person. That’s okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate’s life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!”

    “Can’t make up my mind” “Can be a bit unpredictable”

    Hmmmm….maybe…maybe not!

  85. #85 Sauceress
    September 19, 2008

    I usually hand out colour (more likely recipients will read/keep them) FSM brochures at uni on TLAP day…missed yesterday for the first time in 3 yrs! :(
    There’s a crowd there that dresses up, sets up in the eatery and hands out balloon cutlasses, pirate stickers ect. They’ve been doing so for years, (5yrs I think), and last year most of them still hadn’t heard of His Noodlyness!!

    Brochures:
    http://www.venganza.org/materials/brochures/

  86. #86 CortxVortx
    September 19, 2008

    And, as Mr. Krab says, “A pirate is judged by the size of his booty!”

  87. #87 Danio
    September 19, 2008

    thanks, sauceress–In addition to ‘Murderous Allison’, I may now be addressed as:

    Pirate Jenny Rackham!

    Even though there’s no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you’re the one in charge. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

    at last, a spandex-free personna. I do, however, have an inexplicable urge to duck out of work early and go in search of a friendly game of billiards.

  88. #88 Benji
    September 19, 2008

    Arrr… A just got far teeth ripped off… won’t be hard to talk like a pirate, yarghhh

  89. #89 CortxVortx
    September 19, 2008

    Re: #69 (aHEM!)

    Fancy Pants Pete
    (formerly known as PZ)

    You’re known as “The Pirate Who Might Just Be A Little Too In-Touch With His Feminine Side”. The cabin-boys are all scared of you and your crew thinks you wear way too much pink and too many ruffles. There’s almost no doubt you should have been a priest.

    “That’s all right, Cap’n! We always knew you was a whoopsie!”

    (Ah, screw HTML linking!)

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486655/quotes

  90. #90 Bob
    September 19, 2008

    How does a pirate firefighter address his male child?

    Arrgh, son.

  91. #91 Sauceress
    September 19, 2008

    The Pirate Who Might Just Be A Little Too In-Touch With His Feminine Side”. The cabin-boys are all scared of you and your crew thinks you wear way too much pink and too many ruffles.

    *flashes back to The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert*

    http://londonist.com/2008/09/preview_priscilla_queen_of_the_dese.php

    Trivia: Expelled grossed $7,598,071 at the box office compared to Priscilla which grossed $11,059,700 without the millions spent on Expelled propaganda and advertising.
    ROFL

  92. #92 The MadPanda
    September 19, 2008

    We prefer to call it ‘transhipped goods’, following the auspicious tradition of our glorious forebear Madame Cheng.

    What, did you think pirates only came from the Caribbean?

    (sigh)

    Oh, very well. Shiver me timbers, ye landlubbin’ bilgerats. Pass the grog! Pass the wenches! Drive the garlic-eating imperialist dogs before our fire; burn their forts and let us hear the lamentations of their wounded!

    The MadPanda, FCD

  93. #93 M. Lee
    September 19, 2008

    arrr, and ye know what talk like a landlubbin’ ninja day sounds like?

    ———————-

    Very good^_^

  94. #94 Jenna the Groin Guzzler
    September 19, 2008

    Avast ye scurvy daaawgs and buxom wenches! More grog & swill for all!
    It’s time for the ol’ egg pusher to load the truck and lock up the cluck heads.
    Y’ll have fun w’yer corset snapping and pantaloon pinching.
    Good night ye scurvy bilge rats!

  95. #95 Janine ID
    September 19, 2008

    The Lone Drinker
    (formerly known as Janine)

    Your hot little super-hienie looks good in Spandex, but you squander your super hearing ability listening to rap music all day. You can’t parallel park or set the VCR to tape a show. On the other hand, you never sweat even when you use your super strength. If you would just stop clouding men’s minds for cheap sex then your infection might clear up. You use your flying ability even if you’ve been drinking, and because you don’t have super speed it takes you all day to do the laundry. You secretly have the hots for The Flash and would trip him and beat him to the floor (if you could catch him, that is).

    My! It seems that becoming a pirate made me straight!

  96. #96 Aquaria
    September 20, 2008

    Just checked the pirate name site and eww! My name is Captain Jane Maggot. Ew!

    However, the explanation of my pirate self is as follows:

    You have X-Ray vision and look good in Spandex, but you can’t fly worth a damn or scramble an egg to save your life. You never sweat even when you use your super strength.

    Now look here… I do know how to scramble an egg. I also make a mean souffle. And flying? Ha! There’s a reason cars have those chicken straps, you know, and I make sure everyone riding with me knows it.

    If you could cloud men’s minds we’d all be in trouble.

    Who said I can’t–and don’t? :::Evil grin:::

    You also use your X-Ray vision to ogle guy’s bodies in the grocery store.

    Hmph. I do it with and without the X-Ray vision. And not just in grocery stores, either.

    You can travel in time, but you only do it to cheat at horse racing.

    Dang! Why didn’t someone tell me about this skill sooner? I work right by the horse track! Time to spend my lunch break with the ponies.

    Your super-boobs are every man’s dream and you are without a doubt the kinkiest Superhero of them all.

    You have no idea…

  97. #97 Monado in Toronto
    September 20, 2008

    Thank you all for your pirate voices.

    I was at work all day and night yesterday. My only piratical action was to send the Pirate Kitten link to a couple of people. And to wear a blood-red tank-top under my wench-appropriate “cross-your-heart” blouse. And to mutter, “Aaar, me hearties” a couple of times as I finished up on the wiki project.

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