See what discussing toenails on the internet will get you?
Category: Humor
Posted on: September 16, 2008 7:11 AM, by PZ Myers
It will get you a mention on a famous webcomic, that's what.
I look good as an angel (not exactly).
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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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(Complete listing)Most theologians admit that to eliminate anthropomorphism suggests that anthropomorphism is more even than its matrix. Rather, religion looks like anthropomorphism, part and parcel.
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Comments
Posted by: moother | September 16, 2008 7:15 AM
PZ, you rock.
Posted by: clinteas | September 16, 2008 7:17 AM
The feeling of relief is immediate,my patients tell me...:-)
And Angel PZ,that should have been some attractive female toe there,Bride of Shreks comes to mind,not some unshaved male liberal's LOL
Posted by: Mr P | September 16, 2008 7:18 AM
Why are you wearing a diaper?
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 7:19 AM
What a delightful topic for the US Pharyngulites to be reading about while they have breakfast. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 16, 2008 7:19 AM
aaawwwww,
you look so cute in a nappy (ok, diaper for the North American contingent). Personally I'd be a little disturbed if my 6 month old had such a sprout of facial hair though.
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 16, 2008 7:23 AM
Hey Clinteas @ #2
Not only are my pins kept clean as a whitsle BUT ( and I only know this cause I watched Pretty Woman last night and she measures her legs in it) I have legs about 1 inch longer than Julia Roberts. Six foot redheads rule!!!
Posted by: LindenRathen | September 16, 2008 7:24 AM
Once you burst through your nail it does feel so much better - had to get this done to my thumb, takes ages to heal though....
Posted by: alex | September 16, 2008 7:24 AM
that is amazing awesome.
Posted by: clinteas | September 16, 2008 7:26 AM
BoSOM,
every time i treat a subungual hematoma from now on,I will have to think of your pins,and Julia Roberts,its all your fault...:-)
Posted by: Wayne Walker | September 16, 2008 7:26 AM
Ha! He left off your third nipple!
Posted by: Kel | September 16, 2008 7:29 AM
So you have an entry on Conservapedia AND a comic done on you? Things are coming up PZ right now.
Posted by: SC | September 16, 2008 7:31 AM
Yup, just what I want to be thinking about while I have breakfast (not exactly).
Cute cartoon.
Posted by: Michael H. | September 16, 2008 7:32 AM
what a comment...
Posted by: Michael H. | September 16, 2008 7:33 AM
what a comment...
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 16, 2008 7:34 AM
Although I see Jeffrey has referenced your job title correctly on his blog
"world famous heathen and death-threat magnet PZ Myers "
Now THAT'S something to have on your business card.
Posted by: Lluraa | September 16, 2008 7:34 AM
I think Mike Koelzer is a contemptible, sanctimonious ass, and I hope he goes out of business. Please, if you live in Grand Rapids, boycott Kay Pharmacy. If Mike Koelzer comes to your town to speak in some demented fundagelical church, feel free to picket and protest, and feel free to attend and grill him with difficult questions.
If Mike Koelzer is not comfortable fulfilling his responsibilities as a pharmacist, he should seek some other line of work.
Isn't it "funny" when the Catholic League called for PZ to be fired for his action against what Catholics call sacred and what the Muslims hold sacred, PZ loudly protested the injustice of asking that he be fired, now HE turns around and asks for the same thing from someone who offends him.
what a guy.
Posted by: SC | September 16, 2008 7:36 AM
Wrong thread, Lluraa, you twit.
Posted by: Dahan | September 16, 2008 7:36 AM
Are those cloven hooves you've got there?...
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 16, 2008 7:36 AM
Clinteas @ #9
"every time i treat a subungual hematoma from now on,I will have to think of your pins"
Well, not the most romantic imagery but you sure know how to woo a lady!
Posted by: clinteas | September 16, 2008 7:37 AM
@ 16 :
What the hell are you even talking about???
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 7:38 AM
Lluara,
Native Americans and their Israelite ancestors. Tell us about them.
Posted by: Ranson | September 16, 2008 7:40 AM
See? I told y'all in the other thread. Webcomic shill.
Or would that be "whore", as he was obviously paid for his efforts with an appearance.
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 16, 2008 7:40 AM
Oh fuck Luurriiia/Luurraa/?llaauur/whatever
PZ, if you are watching this thread, and if it looks even remotely like that Lauara dickhead is getting even close to making the million comment number then you have my express permission to remove any of my comments in this thread so as to be sure that dickwad doesn't get there in the final numbers.
That is one nasty troll that needs lancing.
Posted by: Reginald | September 16, 2008 7:41 AM
I tried this last night, unfortunately my toenail wasn't actually injured...
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 7:41 AM
Clinteas,
Lluraa's one of our 'special' friends - and, at the moment, I think she's got her magical underwear on a bit too tight. It can't be anything psychopharmacological; mormons don't believe in it.
Posted by: clinteas | September 16, 2008 7:42 AM
@ 21,Rev BDC :
//Native Americans and their Israelite ancestors. Tell us about them.//
You mean when Abraham emigrated from Mesopotamia and took the morning flight to Boston in 4000 BC ?
Posted by: MissPrism | September 16, 2008 7:43 AM
Clinteas: Her point is that PZ should be fired for making a cracker-koran kebab, but the pharmacist mentioned in an entirely separate post should NOT be fired for flat-out refusing to do his job.
It's easier to work out what she's saying if you start from the assumption that it's bound to be deranged.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 7:44 AM
No, but it could be psychotic.
Posted by: Gavin McBride | September 16, 2008 7:45 AM
Beautiful. Do people who do not read this blog get it ? :) I hope not. Makes it funnier for me.
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 7:46 AM
MissPrism, #27, wrote:
I think that's being generous. Llauraa's almost reached the Kenny level of random, incoherent wackaloonery.
You haven't had a near-death experience have you Llauraa?
Posted by: clinteas | September 16, 2008 7:46 AM
I CAN HAZ 1000000's COMMENT? (43 to go lol)
Wowbagger,@ 25 :
//It can't be anything psychopharmacological; mormons don't believe in it. //
If its not that,its psychiatric you know.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 7:46 AM
Something like that. I'm curious to get Lluraua's expert take on it.
Posted by: SC | September 16, 2008 7:47 AM
Yeah, Koelzer, go fire yourself!
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 7:50 AM
If L Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith were in a room together which do you think would be the first to congratulate the other on coming up with better religion?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 7:50 AM
Good call Wowbager. Very kenny like, ecxept with a magic underwear flavor.
Posted by: Dahan | September 16, 2008 7:51 AM
"Llauraa's almost reached the Kenny level of random, incoherent wackaloonery."
Hmmm, yeah, she's close, but not quite there. Still, she's showing her potential.
Posted by: Lluraa | September 16, 2008 7:53 AM
You don't need to be a Nobel Prize winning scientist to see the disconnect between PZ caliming that the Catholic Legue was wrong in asking that he be fired and not have access to his job and PZ's asking for a boycott against a pharmacist who is acting according to his moral convictions.
The reason I am pointing this out on this section of the blog is because of the "angelic" representation of PZ in the cartoon.
Posted by: Masks of Eris | September 16, 2008 7:53 AM
I just cannot imagine how, a century from now, history books will treat this whole blogging thing.
(Provided, of course, that in a hundred years the only reaction to computers won't be "Light comes from it! In God's name, KILL IT!")
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 7:53 AM
I wonder who could out-con the other one first.
Posted by: SC | September 16, 2008 7:54 AM
Hmmm, yeah, she's close, but not quite there. Still, she's showing her potential.
I don't know - "Nietzsche was a creationist" was some serious crazy.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 7:57 AM
No you just need some crazy person who wears magic underwear and believes that native Americans are the descendants of the Israelites to see it.
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 16, 2008 7:58 AM
Luuarauua/laausuau/lluarrra/whatever the fuck at #37
There's a huge big difference and to not get it you're either being disingenous or you're a completet twat.
You chose.
BTW answer the Rev's question, you've been avoiding it on a few threads now.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | September 16, 2008 7:58 AM
Today's Lluraa post seems slightly off to me. Sounds like somebody is pretending to be her. This isn't to say that Lluraa (or her latest spelling) doesn't have some issues.
Posted by: LisaJ | September 16, 2008 7:58 AM
That's awesome! You really are a celebrity, PZ.
Llaurra, you are something else. Don't you have something better to do with your time? Your efforts are failing here.
Posted by: Scotty B | September 16, 2008 7:59 AM
Disgusting.
Posted by: varlo | September 16, 2008 7:59 AM
I don't care WHAT you say, I still think it should be preceded by "Ve hav vays to make you talk."
Posted by: Ranson | September 16, 2008 8:00 AM
RE: Smith/Hubbard
I dunno. I mean, the followers of one got Utah. The others got Los Angeles and Clearwater, Florida. Sort of a toss-up on who got screwed more, I think.
Posted by: clinteas | September 16, 2008 8:02 AM
Lluraa,the death cult troll wrote @ 37 :
//PZ's asking for a boycott against a pharmacist who is acting according to his moral convictions.//
Ok,I seem to have missed that one,I assume it refers to the pharmacists not giving out contraceptives or morning-after pills?
So the guy is a pharmacist,his job is to give out medicine,whether he likes the drugs he sells or not,if he doesnt want to sell some of them for "moral convictions",then he needs to find another job.Its that simple.Grow up.
SC wrote :
//I don't know - "Nietzsche was a creationist" was some serious crazy.//
The earth quake in Japan the other day I think was due to Nietzsche rotating too fast in his grave,after reading that particular pearl.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:03 AM
One would think that if one was a believer she would be happy to explain this fascinating idea to us all.
Posted by: SC | September 16, 2008 8:03 AM
Answer the question, Lluraa! Why won't you answer the question?!
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 8:05 AM
I wonder if one day the two - Scientology and Mormonism - will unite, a la certain Xtian sects: in Australia we have the Uniting Church where a bunch of Presbyterians and Methodist (and maybe one other) all combined.
How does Scimormontology sound? Maybe they can build e-meters into the magic underwear.
Posted by: Dahan | September 16, 2008 8:05 AM
"I don't know - "Nietzsche was a creationist" was some serious crazy."
OK, I missed that. Perhaps you're right. I'm loathe to put anyone up in Kenny's rarified air, but perhaps if she also morphs, etc...
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 16, 2008 8:07 AM
Wowbagger @ #51
"How does Scimormontology sound? Maybe they can build e-meters into the magic underwear."
..that could get a little smelly.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:07 AM
Wow. I have a new favorite word.
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 8:12 AM
Ah, my market research has paid off. Now I've got to get me to the patent office and register Scimormontology™ quick-smart!
Posted by: Masks of Eris | September 16, 2008 8:12 AM
@ #51: Ew. E-meters in magical underwear? Do I want to imagine the process of giving free meter-readings?
"Indeed you can be in Scimormontology. We even give a free, hem, e-meter reading! Just let me open my zipper..."
Posted by: Ranson | September 16, 2008 8:14 AM
@ Wowbagger
I'll bet some Hubbardite has beaten you to it. It would be a money-making opportunity, after all.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:16 AM
Is than an E-Meter in your magic underwear or are you just Happy to con me?
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 8:17 AM
You're all welcome at the First Church of Scimormontolgy - if you can get to Adelaide, Australia that is.
I think I'm ready to start a religion. I've written some bad sci-fi - that's all the qualifications you need, right? Oh, but I'll need a big sack to put all the suckers' money in...
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:19 AM
So are you saying that the Aboriginal people of Australia are the spawn of the Israelites and an Alien species?
Posted by: Reginald Selkirk | September 16, 2008 8:22 AM
I notice he used you to plug Coors light.
Posted by: Ranson | September 16, 2008 8:24 AM
@ Rev. KOT
Yes. Yes he is.
Posted by: clinteas | September 16, 2008 8:25 AM
Rev BDC,
whats wrong with you man,we are all alien spawn,didnt you know that?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:26 AM
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 8:26 AM
The Rev (etc.) wrote:
I am...now. Thetans changed the DNA, though, so don't going trying to use any of your unbeliever's so-called 'facts' to try and undermine me.
My next step is to find some rich, celebrity polygamists to join up.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:28 AM
stupid blockquote tag typoe using a ? instead of the greater than...
Posted by: Ranson | September 16, 2008 8:29 AM
@Wowbagger
I hear Charlie Sheen is available, and willing.
Posted by: Bartlettman | September 16, 2008 8:30 AM
@Wowbagger
Sure, if there's anything adelaide doesn't have enough of, it's churches. And boredom.
Posted by: Dave Gill | September 16, 2008 8:30 AM
Ouch....
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:31 AM
I expect Tom Cruise like status in Scimormontology for that.
Posted by: Zeno | September 16, 2008 8:33 AM
Well, it is now.
Posted by: Wowbagger | September 16, 2008 8:36 AM
And yea, verily, did Wowbagger the Holy Dead-Alien Infused Father bestow on the Faithful Rev. BigDumbChimp the title of Tom Reverend Brigham Young Cruise; he shall be second only to me in the church.
Bartlettman, for the heresy of disdaining Adelaide, our most Holy of Cities, you will be locked in a room and forced to watch Battlefield Earth, with a new score by the Tabernacle Choir, over and over until you can take no more.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:39 AM
Wonderful. When do I get my 70 virgins?
Posted by: Reginald Selkirk | September 16, 2008 8:44 AM
Monday evening panel, under the ankle.Posted by: Masks of Eris | September 16, 2008 8:45 AM
Continuing on e-meters in magical underwear ---
Knock knock.
"Husband dear, would you go and look who's at the door?"
"Sure, wifey. Oh! Dear, it's a pair of nice young gentlemen in suits, with their pants down, and some sort of proboscis-like electrical things hanging from their underwear. Sound like any relatives of yours?"
"Oh, no! They must be just Scimormontologists. You know, the slightly unusual Australian fellows."
"Oh. Wait! Hey! Dear, they went away already, and I'm not quite sure if they said 'See you later' or 'Sue you later'... I wonder what that means?"
Posted by: SC | September 16, 2008 8:45 AM
I'm afraid that's raisins, dear. Sorry for the confusion.
Posted by: geru | September 16, 2008 8:46 AM
The angel kind of looks like a hybrid of PZ and Richard Dawkins. Maybe it's supposed to be a some kind of manifestation of scientific knowledge and common sense? :)
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip | September 16, 2008 8:46 AM
When do I get my 70 virgins?
This isn't a Catholic church, Rev.
Posted by: Ranson | September 16, 2008 8:46 AM
@ Rev
The first one arrives tomorrow. His name is "Steve".
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 8:48 AM
And the catch in the religion comes out.
Well I am taking on Tom Cruise like responsibilities.....
Posted by: Ompompanoosuc | September 16, 2008 10:36 AM
You had me at "e-meters in magic underwear"
Where do I send my money?
Posted by: Sili | September 16, 2008 11:10 AM
You're Adelaidian? I wonder if you could go deconvert a friend of mine?
I wonder what the follow-up will be. He does seem to be setting up for something.
Mr P, considering the outcry when PeeZed showed off his nipples, I sincerely doubt anyone would to see him without the nappy.
Posted by: Paul Burnett | September 16, 2008 11:29 AM
"Why are you wearing a diaper?" - Mr P, #3
Depends
(And if you don't get it, you're not old enough.)
Posted by: Patricia | September 16, 2008 11:56 AM
Hummm... no navel, and cloven feets..looks like he made you the debble in Depends PZ. *snicker*
Posted by: Terry Small | September 16, 2008 12:02 PM
You make the most terrifying "angel" I've ever seen.
D:
Posted by: Interrobang | September 16, 2008 12:08 PM
The first one arrives tomorrow. His name is "Steve".
Hm, but does he have a PhD in a biological or geological science? :)
Posted by: Becksi | September 16, 2008 12:53 PM
I think I tried hot needle or something but that was painful and I couldn't get it through.
Then I tried hand drill and it worked nicely!
Posted by: Chili Pepper | September 16, 2008 1:25 PM
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp:
"So are you saying that the Aboriginal people of Australia are the spawn of the Israelites and an Alien species?"
The correct answer to this is: "If I say yes, will you give me all your money?"
Posted by: AlanWCan | September 16, 2008 2:14 PM
So, where were you 6 months ago when I dropped a door on my toe? PZ, why hast thou forsakeneth me...eth?
Posted by: pcarini | September 16, 2008 3:23 PM
I shouldn't advocate these things, but I LLaauurraa's derailment of this thread has turned it into pure win.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT | September 16, 2008 3:26 PM
The various levels of funny there just sank in.
coffee > nose > monitor
Posted by: JStein | September 16, 2008 5:03 PM
PZ, I know you're an agent of Satan, but you're so much more fun than those stuffy angelic types.
And you have a beard.
Posted by: Phill | September 16, 2008 5:37 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7yNSVDg_l4
Video documentation of the paperclip method!
Posted by: Swimmy | September 16, 2008 5:55 PM
I feel gripped by this saga. Will the drill bit mentioned in the comics news section work? Must. . . stay. . . tuned.
Posted by: efnord | September 16, 2008 6:17 PM
#16: PZ's job description doesn't include "Be nice to Catholics." A pharmacist's job description is "Provide medicines prescribed by doctors."
Posted by: reverted | September 16, 2008 9:54 PM
I, too, have had a hot paper clip melt through a nail that was in very bad shape. (It was clearly going to fall off (eventually); it was badly bruised and had pressurized blood built-up under it.)
Melting the hole through helped tremendously. Highly recommended.
Posted by: underwear salesman | September 17, 2008 12:36 AM
Ive got a sneaky suspicion that what the caricature is wearing is not a diaper, nope, not depends either, I know your thinking it too. PZ don't mess in those magic underwear---I mean mess WITH them magic underwear. Almost anything could happen, magic underwear woooooooo.
Posted by: kimber | September 17, 2008 12:21 PM
Cute undies, PZ!