…and this is a 
Where the blame lies
Category: Politics
Posted on: September 30, 2008 11:44 PM, by PZ Myers
We're worried about the current financial crisis — in fact, the whole world is concerned. Most of us have simple explanations for the mess we're in right now, such as excessive deregulation, lenders raking in short term profit at the expense of long term stability, a weakening economy, and the misrule of George W. Bush and his gang of Rethuglican cronies, but we're missing the real root cause: it was the gays. Some big flaming homo flaunting his ungodly desires one time too many finally tipped God over into a big snit, and as we all know, God's aim sucks, so when he tossed that lightning bolt of righteous indignation down upon Broadway, he missed and hit Wall Street instead.
No, seriously.
In a September 25th blog post titled 'The Nation Will Right Itself If It Fixes Sex', Christian Civil League of Maine Executive Director Michael Heath writes that the financial crisis facing Wall Street is a symptom of America's sinful sexual culture, including the acceptance of gay unions.
"Our crisis is a symptom, not the cause," writes Michael Heath. "I am not saying I know whether this financial crisis is God's judgment or not. It is not for me to know that definitively."
He doesn't know for sure, but he does seem to have some rather definitive notions about exactly what would tickle God's funny bone.
Heath goes on to list policy changes that would make God "crack a smile," including: End abortion rights and defund non-profit groups supporting it, amend state constitutions to ban gay marriage and eliminate domestic partnerships and civil unions for gay and lesbian couples, and end discrimination against private religious schools and homeschools.
Whoa, that god sure has some specific and sweeping policy proposals for an ineffable being. And for all of his aw-shucks disavowals, Mike seems to have some inside knowledge on God's quirks.
But wait! He has missed some. It's not just those gay people…
A related post by Center for Immigration Studies Executive Director Mark Krikorian at the National Review's website pushes a similar theme, this time focusing on Friday's failure of WaMu.
Krikorian suggests the big bank failed because it was too accommodating to minorities, including gays, African-Americans and Hispanics.
Right. It's the fault of those minorities, the swarming leeches who take and take and take and don't compliment my golf game and who don't pay me bonuses and who want me to pay for their cheap little dreams and not my big important dreams (my Lexus my Rolex my mistress's boob job my condo my implants my home theater system the good booze the cubans the stuff they can't have it's mine), profiting like parasites off the hard work of upper echelon MBAs who barely got what they deserved for distributing the wealth to the little people via all their costly purchases of yachts and beemers and rare wines and priceless artwork and ski vacations in Aspen and indulgent jewelry and new consumer electronics every week and goddamn but it makes me angry to see good white male alumni of Yale and Princeton and Harvard forced to bear the blame for the weakness and lack of vision of little brown people and degenerates who threw away the whole American economy because they just had to buy some ticky-tacky cheap ranch-style lath-and-particle-board piece of crap in the suburbs, and then they don't even worship the True God, the God of prosperity, the God of the moneychangers and the Pharisees, the God who tells me I'm His Number One, the One God who is God who is His Own Son, who is white dammit white and nicely groomed like an American and not one of those dingy off-color immigrants but a Real American with a pinky ring and a good suit and a little cologne so He doesn't reek of cabbage or whatever other ungodly stinking rubbish the foreigners gobble down, and God Jesus Lord has a good tan and nice abs (but He only likes girls) and a nice firm manly butt (but only leers at cheerleaders) and He's big and firm down there (maybe He'll let me watch) and He wants to hold me and run his fingers through my hair (like I was His beloved no like I was His best friend no like I was His best salesman yeah that's it that's safe.) God only loves those who look like Him who looks like me. Amen.
Whew. I have to stop trying to imagine how these people think — it's just too dangerously weird. And those guys are nuts.
(via Greta Christina)
Politics
Comments
Posted by: Funkstronaut | October 1, 2008 12:12 AM
Could anyone explain to me, how a Utopian social-conservative society would be like?
Let's imagine that everything they wanted (Roe v. Wade abolished, "Mud" races are stripped of their Rights, Gays are all sent to re-education camps, etc...) were to happen over the next four years... Would we be a highly-tuned, sleek, and Godly juggernaut of a nation... or would there be chaos in the streets?
Posted by: Rey Fox | October 1, 2008 12:12 AM
""I am not saying I know whether this financial crisis is God's judgment or not."
Then shut up. In fact, shut up anyway.
Posted by: Zeno | October 1, 2008 12:14 AM
I'm pretty sure it's the fault of the atheistic left-handed gay illegal immigrants. Yeah, especially the liberal ones and environmentalist tree-huggers. That's the ticket.
Of course, I can say that because I don't belong to all of those groups. Not all of them.
Posted by: Pteryxx | October 1, 2008 12:14 AM
At least you CAN do it and survive the experience mostly intact.
Now just imagine if one of the entitlement people actually managed to do half as good a job of thinking like YOU. The implosion might make us think the LHC went up.
Posted by: Jared | October 1, 2008 12:14 AM
I'm not sure if economic disaster would be his forte. It seems like a new trick for his god... I mean, plagues, hurricanes, volcanoes, floods, etc. Now he's manipulating the economy?
Posted by: Tom Coward | October 1, 2008 12:17 AM
I live in Maine, where Michael Heath and the Christian Civic League hail from. This group is truly creepy, and has an obsession with homosexuality bordering on the absurd. (On second thought, they are way past that border.) They are so far right they have been slapped down by Republican candiates for office! Mainers being the kind of people they are, the Christian Civic League has minimal support, and are generally regarded as a laughingstock, IMHO. A lot of this stems from their campaing a few years ago, openly publicised on their website, to gather information on gay and lesbian political figures for purposes of blackmail. (They didn't call it blackmail, but they did publicly solicit tips on the sexual inclinations of politicians and other government officials.) This caused great embarassment, and should have (but did not) resulted in criminal prosecution, also IMO.
Posted by: MikeM | October 1, 2008 12:20 AM
Well, if it'll help, I'll stop masturbating in the shower.
Posted by: Andrew | October 1, 2008 12:26 AM
Heath? Could he be related to Sarah Heath Palin? Are many Heaths similarly fundagelical morons?
Posted by: wazza | October 1, 2008 12:31 AM
I know what that's like, PZ... I had to pretend to be a conservative for a political discussion (so that we would have some conservatives... yay for liberal universities!)
I ended up blaming slavery on liberals. Well, the BAD slavery. And it's symptomatic of the whole thing that in that state I could discern a difference.
Posted by: raven | October 1, 2008 12:44 AM
Well it is plausible that god sent Moron in Chief Bush and Darth Cheney to torment us with a series of disasters for 8 years.
This would mean that the Wall Street plutocrats are the modern day equivalent of a plague of locusts. Few Americans would dispute that right now.
Let's hope they weren't just a warmup act.
Posted by: The Cheerful Nihilist | October 1, 2008 12:45 AM
Well, if you look at it through the right lens,* the Palins are good for the economy 'cause their daughter has a baby by a white boy so she won't go on the welfare rolls.
On the other hand, the Palins are a financial disaster 'cause none of this shit happened until they showed up on the scene. It's obviously a matter of cause and effect.
*pun intended, except that my use of "On the other hand" damns the whole thing by being a mixed metaphor.
And I barely read this post 'cause I have to (get to) go teach little children tomorrow. (Now that's what's wrong with Amurica.)
Posted by: jrochest | October 1, 2008 12:46 AM
Wow, that's quite a sentence.
I stand in awe. And I quite agree.
Posted by: The Cheerful Nihilist | October 1, 2008 12:57 AM
I went back (after pouring another whisky) and read yer post, PZ. Now I get it.
Was the wine red or white?
Cheers!
Posted by: Kimpatsu | October 1, 2008 12:57 AM
This attitude is perfectly consonant with their real worldview, which they never let slip in public (they're too diplomatic for that), but which goes like this:
God sits up in heaven with a grab-bag full of souls, and whenever a conception occurs, god snatches a soul from his bag and ensouls the conceptus. (This means that there are three people in the bedroom, but we'll leave that matter for another day...)
However, god saves his brightest, shiniest, bestest souls for Americans, who are god's Chosen PeopleTM, and we can't possibly have all these immigrants (who are, by definition, not born American and thus are no in possession of the brightest, shiniest, bestest souls) ruining god's Chosen NationTM, now can we?
It also explains why they care nothing for the damage their attempts to crowbar ID into schools does; nothing can remove the good ol' US of A from the world's No. 1 spot, because it's god's elect. Consequently, science education in schools (never mind the Chinese catching up) is irrelevant.
Posted by: tim Rowledge | October 1, 2008 12:57 AM
Hmm. Left-handed, sure. Atheist, sure. Liberal, kinda. Environmentalist, ok. Can't take the blame for the rest though. Oh, actually I'm an immigrant. Forgot that bit; I'm so used to assuming it all belongs to me anyway.PZ, remember to take a breath every now and then. Breath. In, out, in, out. That's it, calm, calm, easy..... there now, isn't that better?
Posted by: Kobra | October 1, 2008 12:58 AM
Oh, okay. So if we all join the Klu Klux Klan and kill every black and Hispanic person, and hang a gay person from every tree, it will solve all of our problems?
Pfft.
Posted by: Randy Stimpson aka Intelligent Designer | October 1, 2008 1:06 AM
I not worried about someone's relatively harmless superstition. I worry more about people who are smart and corrupt -- like Henry Paulson. I find it interesting that he has come up with a solution to the economic crisis that will save his ass at taxpayer expense.
One of the companies whose stock stands to lose a lot of value should the government not fund a bailout is Goldman Sachs. Paulson is the former CEO of Goldman Sachs so I assume he owns a pile of GS stock. His net worth is estimated to be around $700 million. I wonder how much value GS stock will lose if the bailout doesn't happen fast. I don't know, but I am guessing it could be wiped out and that could be a good chunk of change for Paulson.
If Congress does pass a bailout plan -- and I hope they don't -- it would be nice if they waited for Goldman Sachs to go down first.
Posted by: SC | October 1, 2008 1:07 AM
I liked this.
***
Posted by: Patricia | October 1, 2008 1:10 AM
Damn PZ! When you decide to step up to the pulpit you are one badass muther%^&*$#.
I sit down in the third row.
Amen! Amen!
Posted by: DominEditrix | October 1, 2008 1:19 AM
I'm pretty sure it's the fault of the atheistic left-handed gay illegal immigrants. Yeah, especially the liberal ones and environmentalist tree-huggers.
Three and a half out of six. Well, four and a half, if I don't have to actually hug a tree. Who knew one could have such power over the economy, yet still not be able to buy a hadron collider of my very own.
Posted by: woozy | October 1, 2008 1:20 AM
Oh, okay. So if we all join the Klu Klux Klan and kill every black and Hispanic person, and hang a gay person from every tree, it will solve all of our problems?
Well, sure. All my problems would be solved if every-one who didn't believe the exact same things I do were to disappear. Likewise, all my enemy's problems would be solved if I and every one who didn't believe the exact same things she does were to disappear.
Oh... well, all problems arrising from people not having the common sense to be just like me (or her). All other problems that might occur would, by definition, have nothing to do with our actions and thus would be out of our control.
Posted by: Ron Sullivan | October 1, 2008 1:25 AM
Oh my. You do look good in a rant.
Posted by: Scott from Oregon | October 1, 2008 1:30 AM
"Krikorian suggests the big bank failed because it was too accommodating to minorities, including gays, African-Americans and Hispanics."
Actually, it wasn't the MINORITIES themselves, it was the policy that came out of the Clinton years that said "help minorities own homes".
Fannie and Freddie then got into the habit of lending money to people who didn't have the stats to recieve the loan, in other words, if they weren't a minority, they would not have qualified. This led to more and more lax lending by the two, which spread throughtout the lending institutions who competed with Freddie and Fannie. You mix that with the Rederal Reserve holding interest rates down too low for too long to float a sick economy (too much debt, not enough production) and a public who quit working and got on the real estate band wagon- running up credit card debt and paying it off with home loans- and you can see the problem coming from about 2003.
This is just half the problem
The financial institutions used all of this wheeling and dealing in the mortgage industry to creat phony paper which they kept splitting and selling.
It isn't the housing bubble which is what Paulson is afraid of. It is the derivitives piled high on top of the housing bubble, much of which was bundled and sold overseas.
One 300,000 failed mortgage could represent something like 3 million in paper tacked on top of the mortgage.
This crap is owned by the big boys, and there is zero value in it if the mortgage has zero value.
Now you get it?
The best thing to happen is to have the whole thing come down in a pile of egg on your face cards...
The Federal Reserve should be opened up like a can of spaghetti O's and all the meatballs should be skewered with a fork.
"Deregulation" of the markets wasn't the problem. Fraud laws are on the books. Fraud was perpetrated and people like Chris Dodd and Barney Frank looked the other way. Fannie and Freddie were part of the Washington culture that were in on it, and once again regular folks suffer the most.
Not only should all Americans call for no bailout, they should call for criminal investigations, starting with Bernanke and Paulson and working backwards down the food chain.
Just like government, financial instutions should be smaller and regionalized. Otherwise, the elite who make the top tier of these ponzi schemes will just keep screwing it all up, while regular folks who did nothing wrong suffer the bad consequences of the actions of dispicable people.
Posted by: Schaden Freud | October 1, 2008 1:33 AM
Yep, once again, it's all the gays' fault.
Posted by: BMS | October 1, 2008 1:36 AM
You've been reading Mark Morford, haven't you?
That is one awe-inspiringly beautiful sentence.
Thank you.
Posted by: The Cheerful Nihilist | October 1, 2008 1:37 AM
SC,
The original quote was
Must you bring up Stonewall at this late hour?
Patricia,
I'm still waiting for a smutty remark from the other thread. Hurry, 'cause bed-wises is the right-wises about now.
*Please God, if you exist, do this just once. Or daily.
Posted by: Joe Z. | October 1, 2008 1:48 AM
Maine, huh? My neck of the woods. Oh dear. Well, at least they don't seem that influential (which may explain why I've never heard of them), but I can't say it surprises that Maine has such a group. I grew up attending a fundamentalist church, and my mother still goes to one.
Actually, I think that's my fault. My mother was always a Christian, but she stopped going to church for a while. When she decided to go back to church, she picked the one attended by me, her fundamentalist son. Now I'm an atheist, and my mother is sinking deeper and deeper into creepy creationist claptrap. I feel so guilty. I feel even more guilty that I haven't told her about my disbelief. I'm such a coward.
But enough moping. Let's see how I stack up on the "enemies of America" checklist: I'm an atheist, left-handed, a liberal, and an environmentalist, but neither gay nor an immigrant. Oh, but my father's an immigrant, and from Iran no less! Surely that counts for something in the big conspiracy against the Chosen Americans.
Posted by: Lago | October 1, 2008 1:50 AM
Mike Heath:
"I'll keep polishing my stones and looking for the right time and place to unleash them on this pink Goliath. I know the people are with me in their hearts because if they weren't then they wouldn't be reasonable, happy and full of common sense. Maine people really are gay!"
I am wondering if Mr. Heath has a wide stance on this issue?
Posted by: woozy | October 1, 2008 1:51 AM
'nother "family guy reference":
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Museum Guard: Because you touch yourself at night.
Makes the same amount of sense...
Posted by: Hugo | October 1, 2008 1:52 AM
Why didn't we see this before? It's all so obvious now...
Thanks, Michael Heath. For BLOWING. MY. MIND.
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 1, 2008 1:54 AM
I am wondering if Mr. Heath has a wide stance on this issue?
LOL
hell, it's not even funny any more, since it's probably accurate.
you just have to kinda feel sorry for these poor bastards.
well, at least until they open their fat mouths.
Posted by: Kel | October 1, 2008 1:55 AM
lol, possibly the best Family Guy moment ever.Posted by: Patricia | October 1, 2008 2:16 AM
#26 - Cheerful - I'm so sorry to have lost track of my non-slutty remarks!
It's been a hard day for us strumpets. What with Nick Gotts Dungfish commiting four deadly Pharyngula sins, and the cracker going viral again.
Then Jared hauled out his snake and made me squeal like a school girl!
The bosom heaves. I do beg your pardon. Today was filled with instances of needing to rinse out the pantalets. I'll try to do better tomorrow.
Posted by: clinteas | October 1, 2008 2:25 AM
Im interested in the sociological and psychological roots for this fascinating meme that is fear and loathing of gays,immigrants,"liberals"atheists,anything other than white conservative christian small-town-minded heterosexuals with 2 kids and 1.4 cars really....
It seems such a dominant force in american culture,predominantly with the white christian small-town folks,I wonder what the reasons are.Can any of the sociology guys here recommend a good book on the issue?
Posted by: Corey S. | October 1, 2008 2:26 AM
"Excessive deregulation" is as meaningless to economics as "intelligent design" is to biology.
Deregulation, as a rule, is almost always good for consumers, and as such, is good for the American economy. Free markets are not the cause of the current financial crisis. In fact, the opposite is much closer to the truth. Fannie and Freddie implicitly ensured banks that they would bail them out in the event of a crisis and in doing so encouraged banks to give out more loans than they otherwise would have. Government involvement in the market for loans distorted incentives and information, leading to the collapse we're seeing now. The current bailout does nothing to fix the problem. If anything, it increases government involvement and indicates to investors that the government will simply bail them out next time they screw up.
I'm no professional economist, but this explanation seems to be more intellectually satisfying than that offered by politicians (especially those running for election this year). For the opinion of a great economist on this crisis and other economics issues, I recommend Greg Mankiw's blog as a great starting point. He's brilliant, he's about as non-partisan as they come (though he has advised Republicans in the past), and while he's not as prolific as PZ, he usually posts daily. Also check out the Economix blog at the NY Times.com website and the Undercover Economist at FT.com.
Posted by: Bob Vogel | October 1, 2008 2:28 AM
Jesus, PZ. You nailed it perfectly.
Posted by: Luger Otter Robinson | October 1, 2008 2:34 AM
I gather that Henry Paulson won't suffer by Goldman Sachs going bankrupt (if it were in danger of doing so) because he was forced to sell his shares to avoid a possible conflict.
Posted by: moother | October 1, 2008 2:35 AM
1st class rant!
Posted by: scott from Oreogn | October 1, 2008 2:40 AM
And check out this guy's vids too...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqIFoBXGizc&eurl=http://aeleope.blogspot.com/
Posted by: SC | October 1, 2008 2:45 AM
Must you bring up Stonewall at this late hour?
Didn't have Stonewall at all in mind, actually. Just substituting a legendary gay throughfare (in my old neighborhood, incidentally) for one that isn't. Though given current shifts, perhaps I should have said Ave. B or something...
Posted by: Ichthyic | October 1, 2008 2:49 AM
I'm no professional economist
you don't say?
Posted by: SC | October 1, 2008 2:53 AM
Since the market fundamentalists are still with us, I think I'll post this Friedman-Hayek-Pinochet link on a few more threads to give it some more exposure:
http://www.counterpunch.org/grandin11172006.html
Posted by: retrocalypse | October 1, 2008 3:01 AM
Does anyone have a link to the original blog post? I can't seem to locate it, but I see plenty of stories about it. Thanks in advance!
Posted by: Adam Stein | October 1, 2008 3:03 AM
Let's talk about a chosen behavior (OK, "lifestyle" -- it fits):
People who practice religion choose to go to a place of worship, tithe, attend ecumenical functions, and give their children religious training. They choose which faith to be active in; in fact, most will tell you that they choose to believe. Religion has lots of special rights, including tax exemptions and a privileged place in public discourse. I don't know what the rate of religious conversion is, but people can and do swap religious faiths at (wait for it) will; they can even give up religious faith entirely.
I'm surprised the Baptists aren't blaming the Methodists or the Lutherans or the Anglican Church for hurricanes and such.
Posted by: retrocalypse | October 1, 2008 3:08 AM
RE: #43.
Found it.
http://mikeheath.blogspot.com/2008/09/nation-will-right-itself-if-it-fixes.html
Posted by: JHS | October 1, 2008 3:25 AM
Flameity Flame Flame
Voila! My gayness has single-handedly torched the largest economy on earth. Who knew it was that easy?
Please excuse me while I roast a marshmallow or two.
Posted by: Infinitejones | October 1, 2008 3:30 AM
When, in 2118, Hollywood comes to re-tell the blood-and-glory story of the Financial Crisis of 2008, I can imagine someone like Christian Bale blasting out that monologue in a NYC alleyway, while repeatedly slamming the head of a foreclosed minority in the door of his Lexus...
Posted by: woozy | October 1, 2008 3:36 AM
from: http://mikeheath.blogspot.com/2008/09/nation-will-right-itself-if-it-fixes.html
Ruth Graham told her husband Billy years ago that God would have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah if He doesn't judge America.
Huh! Translation? Explain... I mean, I'll go to the ends of the earth to try and understand my oppenents' arguments but they sure go out of their way to make it difficult.
I mean... my god, they really do think like this, don't they?
====
By the way, I think the ads on PageOneQ are kinda hot. At least this liberal hetero male thinks so.
Posted by: Bailin | October 1, 2008 3:48 AM
In economics, I prefer a 14th century-preacher named John Ball than any 21th century-theocon.
"When Adam dalf, and Eve span, who was thanne a gentilman? From the beginning all men were created equal by nature, and that servitude had been introduced by the unjust and evil oppression of men, against the will of God, who, if it had pleased Him to create serfs (=workers), surely in the beginning of the world would have appointed who should be a serf (=worker) and who a lord' (=employer)".
Of course, the social reciptes of Ball were far from moderate:
- uprooting the tares that are accustomed to destroy the grain
- first killing the great lords of the realm
- then slaying the lawyers, justices and jurors
- and finally rooting out everyone whom they knew to be harmful to the community in future.
Posted by: Clemens | October 1, 2008 3:53 AM
Do these fuckwits even look around in the world? If godlessness would result in punishment, please tell me why these countries pretty much rock:
* New Zealand
* The Netherlands
* All the Scandinavian countries
Shouldn't god smite these first? All of the above for their same-sex marriage, the first for its agnostic prime minister who also is a woman (Timoteus 2:11 or so...).
Scandinavian countries also have quite a relaxed attitude towards sex education and dare to claim that it is YOUR business alone whom you sleep with.
Posted by: Greta Christina | October 1, 2008 4:13 AM
Damn, PZ. First-rate rant. I gotta send you stuff more often.
Posted by: Ross S | October 1, 2008 4:17 AM
Terrific rant but, in a sentence that long, surely you overlooked the obligatory reference to 'watney's red barrel'
Posted by: Luger Otter Robinson | October 1, 2008 4:21 AM
I had a look at a letter the Christian Civil League of Maine published: http://www.cclmaine.org/Record/Stories/03%2009%2005.htm
and I must say I agreed when they say: "We are offended by Governor John Baldacci's characterization of some of Maine's foremost religious leaders and citizens as "cuckoo clocks" ". Too right. I have a cuckoo clock and it is very useful, keeping good time. The comment is deeply offensive to all cuckoo clocks, everywhere.
They do have a point though when they say: "Cultural endorsement of homosexuality leads to a higher incidence of homosexual practice and the negative side affects in physical, mental and social/relational health". Yeah,right, it might cause me to become a homosexual at the age of 53
"It will lead to the acceptance of other undesirable sexual unions including polygamy, transgenerational sex, and incest simply on the basis that they are consensual and protected as civil rights". Yeah, right, paedophilia will become compulsory.
Posted by: Michael Scott | October 1, 2008 4:37 AM
As someone who got my degree in English literature, I just want to say that sentence was fantastic.
Posted by: Rik. | October 1, 2008 4:46 AM
What's transgenerational sex?
And, as long as it is between consenting adults, I have no problems at all with the other two...
Posted by: Stephen Wells | October 1, 2008 4:56 AM
Er... PZ? Deep breaths. Deeeeep breaths. That's better.
Seriously, that was an awesome piece of writing. (Where's the damn book already?)
:)
Posted by: Scaryduck | October 1, 2008 5:26 AM
What's transgenerational sex?
So, now you're telling me the Grab-a-Granny nights are out, too. Sheesh.
Posted by: clinteas | October 1, 2008 5:37 AM
//So, now you're telling me the Grab-a-Granny nights are out, too. Sheesh.//
Let me go vomit a little,brb.....
Posted by: Azkyroth | October 1, 2008 5:38 AM
Hopefully a portmanteau. I certainly hope these fruitcakes are inspired to try a threesome with a transformer and a generator. :P
Posted by: ptet | October 1, 2008 5:41 AM
Ladies & gentlemen - I give you HYPNOPALIN!
Never mind the words - just look into the eyes...
Posted by: DiscoveredJoys | October 1, 2008 5:51 AM
The truly creepy thing is that you know that if the hated groups were suddenly 'disappeared' (anti-raptured?) then the hate would switch to white trash, trade union members, people who drive compact cars, Catholics, atheists, people who don't own their own assault rifle...
Posted by: Matt Heath | October 1, 2008 5:55 AM
O FFS: Edward Heath, Sarah Heath Palin, this guy: is a deed poll a lot of paperwork?
Posted by: Tim | October 1, 2008 6:08 AM
There is sin involved, but the sin is greed, which the godbotherers have largely ignored, with an eye to the building fund. We seem to be at the climax of a mighty cluster fuck, and Paulson's remedy is as an inadequate (But very expensive) snot rag expected to mop up the aftermath of an orgy. As far as more carnal sinners are concerned, if a judgment day ever occurs, they'll find out then, it's not our business.
Posted by: Jeremy | October 1, 2008 6:12 AM
Kimpatsu@14:
If science defies the True Word of God™, then only by reaching dead last in science education can America prove its worth for salvation to Teh Lord. I see their plan now.
Posted by: JT | October 1, 2008 6:16 AM
I thought maybe PZ hired one of his Catholic fans to write that rant for him. Then I realized all the words were spelled correctly and the grammar actually made sense, never mind that the thesis was supported. Obviously the rant of a liberal elite. If you're going for Poe's Law, you need to dumb it down a little more.
Posted by: Masks of Eris | October 1, 2008 6:17 AM
Hm, "policy changes that would make God 'crack a smile'"?
Don't these people remember that "God's got a sick sense of humor"?
Posted by: BluesBassist | October 1, 2008 6:17 AM
PZ wrote:
It's ironic that most of the "simple explanations" PZ posits above are no less nonsensical than those given by the religious wackos he excoriates. (The out of control spending under the Bush administration is a legitimate factor, but that was also sanctioned by the Democrat Congress. Same with the Iraq war.)
This financial crises and proposed "bailout" is illustrative of the fact that the two candidates, and indeed their parties, agree on the principles of every important policy. They agree on gigantic government, ruinous taxation, regulation, public debt, and aggressive interventionism both foreign and domestic. Is it any wonder so few people vote? You might as well go out and do a rain dance on November 4th for all the difference it will make.
Posted by: Moe | October 1, 2008 6:18 AM
Imigants, I knew it was them! Even when I knew it was the plutocrats - I knew it was them!
Posted by: Peter Mc | October 1, 2008 6:19 AM
Much Mutley-like sniggering. 10/10.
Posted by: Lago | October 1, 2008 6:19 AM
"Ruth Graham told her husband Billy years ago that God would have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah if He doesn't judge America."
In the Bible God does not destroy S&G for having good ol' fashion butt-sex. He does it because the city did not show hospitality to strangers (male strangers). This was the sin of the city. Lot, our "hero," of the story, offers his 14 year old virgin daughters to the mob that comes to ask about the strangers that showed up at his house. He is like, "Hey, these are my guests, ..if you need to rape someone,,,here are my under-age virgin daughters.
Lot finally gives the mob one of his ho's (a lesser wife who is about equal to a sex slave, that also does the dishes). The mob returns her dead the next day (he cuts her up and buries the parts in different places). God found this to be a sign of Lot's morality that he saved the male strangers from the mob by giving over one of his mostly useless (outside of sex and the dishes of course) women-folk, and so God smiled on Lot. :}
Lot later goes on to have sex with his daughters in a cave. His excuse was that they got him drunk and made him do it. Somehow I doubt the guys story...
Ah, the bible and its morality..huh?
Posted by: True Bob | October 1, 2008 6:38 AM
Wow, that was, like, real stream-of-consciousness channelling there, PZ. It reads not just like you were trying to get inside their heads, but that you actually had a Shrubco, Inc Warrantless Wiretap installed!
Posted by: Yodood | October 1, 2008 6:45 AM
Methinks you enjoyed your Jebus rant a bit too much.
Posted by: Nick Gotts | October 1, 2008 6:46 AM
"When Adam dalf, and Eve span, who was thanne a gentilman?" - Bailin, quoting John Ball
As Sellar and Yeatman pointed out in1066 and all that:
"The answer was of course, Adam, but the Fathers of the Church had concealed this dangerous knowledge."
Posted by: Nick Gotts | October 1, 2008 7:01 AM
Corey S.@35,
Here we are at the end of three decades of US and indeed global deregulation, facing the biggest financial crisis in nearly a century, and you're still claiming excessive regulation is the problem? Fortunately, you're now going to be in a tiny minority of "free market" ideologues - in the UK, even leaders of the Conservative Party have dropped their "deregulate" mantra, with the Shadow Chancellor [main opposition spokesperson on economic matters], in an awesome display of chutzpah, dissing the government for failing to impose "sensible regulation".
You might also note that these decades have shown the real incomes of most people in the US pretty much static, so how has this deregulation been "good for the consumer"? Oh, I see, good for those who consume the most - the very rich, who have seen their purchasing power soar.
Posted by: Yodood | October 1, 2008 7:21 AM
Methinks you enjoyed your Jebus rant a bit too much.
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | October 1, 2008 7:22 AM
Sometimes, when your target is running around like a headless chicken, you don't even have to move your sights at all--they'll just run right in front of your barrel, and you can take the same shot over again. This time, I got two:
They say that God created Man
As part of an enormous plan,
And did so in His image, cos he loves us, every one.
When men of God discriminate
And treat their fellow men with hate
They do so with the knowledge it's what Jesus would have done.
When righteous men, in righteous ways
Hate atheists, or Jews, or gays,
Or Muslims, pagans, redheads, southpaws, foreigners, or Voodoo
I know at first it may seem odd,
But clearly, you've created God
In your own image, when you find he hates the same folks you do.
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2008/05/in-his-own-image.html
My God is pretty self-assured, and quite convinced He's right.
He made me in His image, so He's green-eyed, blond, and white;
And He's very, very wrathful with the folks who disagree;
He'll hold a grudge for centuries--Oh, wait--that might be me.
He's insecure enough to want to hear how much you love Him
And He never will forgive you if there's someone else above Him;
He'll jealously react to any threat to His domain
By smiting all His enemies--Oh, wait--that's me again.
He'll make the world a better place for those who think like Him
For those in opposition, well, the situation's grim;
He'll call jihad, or else crusade--some form of Holy War
Because He knows He's always right--Oh, wait--that's me once more.
He's handsome, bearded, steely-eyed, deep-voiced and somewhat haughty
So wonderful, his naughty bits are never seen as naughty
But perfectly proportioned, grand and firm and never shrinking,
A miracle of awesomeness--Oh, wait--that's wishful thinking.
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2008/05/oh-wait.html
Posted by: clinteas | October 1, 2008 7:33 AM
Oh Man,Cuttlefish,Im so going to send that to all my facebook friends lol....Awesome mate !
Posted by: Mike Haubrich, FCD | October 1, 2008 7:45 AM
Yeah, teh guvmint made 'em knowingly shuffle billions of dollars of bad mortgages around, push for lowered interest rates, create swaps, make a mad dash for sub-prime securities then dump 'em off for margins. All because the guv'mint was forcing the innocent mortgage brokers to refinance, hide the details on loans, push motgages through with no income verification, tell people that they can afford "more more more bigger houses" cause they won't be paying any principle for 5 whole years!
I see that conservative economists are blaming all the minorities who used to be redlined because of their race or their neighborhoods. "We would have been responsible if the government hadn't told us we had to be irresponsible!"
And as for the rant - very good. At Wells Fargo I have had people tell me that they are pulling their accounts because we offer bilingual Spanish cust support.
Posted by: Jim A | October 1, 2008 7:48 AM
At some level, what we have here is the "free will" conundrum. If God is all-powerfull, and all-knowing, how can we have free will? Make no mistake, economics is just the aggregation of individual decisions: what to buy, when to borrow, who to hire, how to save. This can only be due to "God's will," if we firmly believe in predestination and NOT in the idea that we have free will and actually make our own decisions. Personally, I've always felt that predestination is only a short hop from a very depressing version of nihlism.
Posted by: Ian | October 1, 2008 8:01 AM
It's very revealing that this god cares only about what happens in the USA, and evidently pays no attention whatsoever to the rest of the world!
Even in the USA, this god is weird. It cares not a jot about appalling violence, but becomes angry when people love each other enough to want to marry?
I think I'll skip that god.
Posted by: SteveM | October 1, 2008 8:04 AM
Re transgenerational sex:
Isn't that already a commonly accepted practice, if not even an envied one? Aren't most "trophy wives" typically young enough to be the guy's daughter (and sometimes granddaughter)?
Clearly he is using it as a euphemism for "pedophilia" (actually child molesting) but didn't quite think through the actual meaning.
Posted by: Ian H Spedding FCD | October 1, 2008 8:11 AM
If God is such an Intelligent Designer and homosexuality is so offensive to Him, why did He include it in His design for the Universe in the first place?
Posted by: Nick Gotts | October 1, 2008 8:17 AM
Make no mistake, economics is just the aggregation of individual decisions: what to buy, when to borrow, who to hire, how to save. - Jim A
That would only be true if the things we buy, borrow, etc. had no physical properties and were always available in unlimited quantities, physical infrastructure wasn't needed or lasted forever, we were immortal...
Posted by: Joel | October 1, 2008 8:27 AM
Fuck! I knew they'd find a way to blame it on us gays one way or another. Bastards!
Posted by: Stephen Wells | October 1, 2008 8:43 AM
@83: Actually I think economics is just the aggregation of individual decisions, in the same sense that the Atlantic Ocean is just an aggregation of individual water molecules.