What are you doing here?
Category: Philosophy
Posted on: October 6, 2008 1:19 PM, by PZ Myers
Well? It's a good question! Answer it! Every one of you!
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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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(Complete listing)The character of God would stand vastly higher in human estimation if he had visited the garden in which he had placed the first human pair and picked up the serpent and cast him over the garden wall before he had a chance to tempt Eve, instead of waiting until the mischief was done, and then cursing the whole lot for what he might so easily have prevented.
[Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays]
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Comments
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 1:25 PM
Do I know what rhetorical means?
Posted by: bunnycatch3r | October 6, 2008 1:33 PM
All answers to this question will be woo filled and subject to a future Richard Dawkins' book: "The Purpose Filled Life Delusion". The truth is that no matter what narrative arc we use to frame our dreary lives it matters not.
Posted by: Dawn | October 6, 2008 1:33 PM
What am I doing here? Creating happiness wherever I go, of course. Isn't that what we were put on earth for? ;)
Posted by: Joanna | October 6, 2008 1:35 PM
Watching Doctor Who!
Posted by: itwasntme | October 6, 2008 1:35 PM
Well, I'm buying into gold ETFs! What are YOU doing here.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 1:36 PM
Having one hell of a good time! Woof, woof.
Posted by: Svrn DiMilo | October 6, 2008 1:36 PM
I'm not here at all.
I'm elsewhere.
Why do you ask?
Posted by: KGS | October 6, 2008 1:37 PM
Spreading the word of god.. why? You know we're trying to do that all the time..
Posted by: Don | October 6, 2008 1:39 PM
Nuffink, guv. Honest.
Posted by: Dianne | October 6, 2008 1:41 PM
Looking for squirrels.
Posted by: Paladiea | October 6, 2008 1:42 PM
Well according to my job, I live to serve, but if I had my way, I'd live to live. ;)
Posted by: Grendels Dad | October 6, 2008 1:46 PM
Well, at the moment I'm muttering under my breath about people who post links to videos that are "no longer available". Grumble, grumble. ;^)
Posted by: Holbach | October 6, 2008 1:48 PM
Disproving religion.
Posted by: Lurker #753 | October 6, 2008 1:49 PM
Lurking?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | October 6, 2008 1:51 PM
Today, helping the Redhead give a special dinner to a few of her friends. Tomorrow, who knows?
Posted by: Lee Picton | October 6, 2008 1:55 PM
Eating chocolate.
Posted by: Sarcastro | October 6, 2008 1:55 PM
I'm just waiting around long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike, as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave... like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?
Oh shit, wrong question.
Posted by: ggab | October 6, 2008 1:57 PM
Crawlin'
Walkin'
Runnin'
Jumpin'
Eatin'
Drinkin'
Pissin'
Dumpin'
Rubin'
Kissin'
Strokin'
Missin'
Workin'
Earnin'
Payin'
Learnin'
Smokin'
Sleepin'
Laughin'
Weepin'
Watchin'
Waitin'
Grinin'
Statein'
Screamin'
Cryin'
Dreamin'
Lyin'
Scrapin'
Slapin'
Livin'
Dyin'
Nutin' Why do you ask?
Posted by: DjtHeutii | October 6, 2008 2:01 PM
Writing a reply to a blog post that has a video of Dr. Who Clips.
Posted by: sjburnt | October 6, 2008 2:01 PM
Looking at about 7:27 in this long video of Whoodom, and deciphering what the new doctor is really saying...
Posted by: Vadjong | October 6, 2008 2:02 PM
Aah, I see what you did there !
Posted by: J | October 6, 2008 2:02 PM
Making and consuming beer. What else would I be doing?
Posted by: PurpleTurtle | October 6, 2008 2:04 PM
not being there...
Posted by: Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker | October 6, 2008 2:05 PM
That's what I was asking.
Posted by: AmyD | October 6, 2008 2:06 PM
Palin' around with terrorists.
Posted by: ShaggyManiac | October 6, 2008 2:09 PM
Slackin'
Posted by: Dancaban | October 6, 2008 2:09 PM
I'm not really here. I'm over there. ---->
Posted by: Iron | October 6, 2008 2:11 PM
Burning FSM's into students with a Tesla coil.
Posted by: DanW | October 6, 2008 2:12 PM
I'm just here for the hors d'oeuvres.
Cheeze-whiz?
Ham? (That ain't kosher!)
Crackers anyone? (That ain't funny!)
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 2:12 PM
Define "you", "doing" and "here".
Posted by: Malimar | October 6, 2008 2:17 PM
As little as possible.
Posted by: El Herring | October 6, 2008 2:21 PM
Now try the same thing with the phrase "The question is..." in Star Trek DS9!
I am certain it's said somewhere in every single episode.
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 2:21 PM
I'm trying to find myself. If anybody sees me, kindly let me know.
Completely OT (well, as far off as it can be in a thread with no topic), but that reminds me of a good joke:
A contractor is lost in a hot-air balloon. He descends and comes across someone on the ground. "Excuse me. Can you tell me where I am?" he asks.
The man on the ground replies, "You are in a hot-air balloon several feet above the ground."
The contractor smiles and says, "You must be an engineer."
"Yes I am, how did you know?"
"Because your answer was completely correct but useless."
The engineer says, "you must be a contractor."
"I am. How did you know?"
The engineer answers, "because you are in the same situation you were in before you met me, but now it's my fault."
Posted by: Laser Potato | October 6, 2008 2:22 PM
Playing Rocket Slime, fishing through old threads for amusing comments.
Posted by: Lago | October 6, 2008 2:23 PM
Ah, more evidence in my, "Good British TV is a Myth!" argument.
Posted by: frog | October 6, 2008 2:24 PM
bunnycatch3r: The truth is that no matter what narrative arc we use to frame our dreary lives it matters not.
Wow, you must be fun at parties!
Why do people insist on pretending there exists a "God's eye-view" of our lives? Lives can only be seen from the inside --- there is no life independent of the narrative arcs we create. It's only subjective -- the objective view is a religious Delusion.
Posted by: molly | October 6, 2008 2:26 PM
Could you rephrase the question? I don't quite undergetit.
Posted by: Jared | October 6, 2008 2:33 PM
Pondering the underlying motives for such a question...
Really, what are "here" or "there" but subjective observations relative to one's own frame of reference which may or may not represent the views of the target of said question. For example: "What are you doing here?"
"But I'm not there, I'm here"
"well, you certainly seem to be here to me"
"But 'here,' for you, would imply my being in your specific location, which I am not, I am in my own location, thus, to you, I would be 'there.'"
Posted by: maditude | October 6, 2008 2:33 PM
I came here for an argument...
Posted by: Not that Louis | October 6, 2008 2:37 PM
The real question is how can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all.
Posted by: Andy James | October 6, 2008 2:37 PM
Taking in chemicals, using the differential energy within those bonds, and excreting a set of chemicals with a lowered energy level. At the moment, thin-crust pizza is undergoing this process. You're welcome ecosystem.
Posted by: KillerChihuahua | October 6, 2008 2:39 PM
Posting.
Why am I not 'throwing' a poll?
Posted by: Screechy Monkey | October 6, 2008 2:41 PM
Preaching to the choir of my fellow angry militant fundamentalist extreme atheists, of course.
Posted by: Scott from Oregon | October 6, 2008 2:44 PM
At the moment trying to rehabilitate a stroke victim and give her her extra years.
...while harrassing sycophants on the side...
Posted by: Kyle W. | October 6, 2008 2:46 PM
I'm here for the misleading headlines... like: http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/27043577/
And there I sat, thinking, if only for a moment, that we had some sort of scientific evidence that angels exist and that they are actually malevolent.
Posted by: Pockets | October 6, 2008 2:46 PM
"working" aka wasting the day waiting for something to cross my desk
Posted by: frog | October 6, 2008 2:46 PM
Andy Jones: Taking in chemicals, using the differential energy within those bonds, and excreting a set of chemicals with a lowered energy level.
Don't forget the entropy -- you're a non-equilibrium system!
Posted by: Masks of Eris | October 6, 2008 2:48 PM
Well, to answer with a question out of an entirely different show, Mr. Morden and his associates would like to know:
"What do want?"
Posted by: Alan Kellogg | October 6, 2008 2:50 PM
Gathering evidence for anticipatory finals insanity in biology professors in Minnesota. In your post I have found a gold mine.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 2:50 PM
Oh shut up maditude! You have no right to just burst in here and demand anything. ;o)
Posted by: El Herring | October 6, 2008 2:51 PM
I like Spike Milligan's answer to that particular question:
"Everybody's got to be somewhere!"
Posted by: Jams | October 6, 2008 2:54 PM
As much as I can.
Posted by: Chris P | October 6, 2008 2:54 PM
Trying to design better products that use less energy and cost less to make.
And in my spare time design transportation systems that use less energy.
More fun than going to church and watching mindless TV
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 2:55 PM
No, you didn't.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | October 6, 2008 2:56 PM
I am not here.
Posted by: Jared | October 6, 2008 2:58 PM
Rev, of course you're not here, you're there.
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 3:00 PM
No, he's not. I'm there, and if he were here, I'd see him.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:00 PM
Off monkeying around huh?
Posted by: qedpro | October 6, 2008 3:01 PM
that would be none of your damned business.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:03 PM
Damned well is too!
Posted by: ChemBob | October 6, 2008 3:04 PM
Well, no matter where you go, there you are.
Posted by: Ranson | October 6, 2008 3:05 PM
Avoiding real work, mostly.
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 3:05 PM
We're on a road to nowhere.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:08 PM
You don't know shit from Shinola, bub.
Posted by: ennui | October 6, 2008 3:09 PM
42
Posted by: mk | October 6, 2008 3:09 PM
Not much. You?
Posted by: bPer | October 6, 2008 3:10 PM
Having just finished viewing the video, and then read comment #12, I'd say I'm ...
Proposing a new (AFAIK) Internet law:
No comment thread on a blog entry containing an embedded video is complete until someone incorrectly complains that the video is no longer available.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:11 PM
Ha! It's 23.
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 3:12 PM
I always thought that said more about Shinola than it did about me.
Posted by: Phyllis | October 6, 2008 3:13 PM
Procrastinating reading World English lit (before 1650). Current time in literature - Christian Europe, New Testament. Ugh.
Posted by: Mike V | October 6, 2008 3:14 PM
Looking for work, since my office closed last Tuesday.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:14 PM
You're wrong.
Posted by: chris j | October 6, 2008 3:14 PM
Looking for a screw driver, I have a bunch of cupboards to build in a hurry.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | October 6, 2008 3:15 PM
I'm nowhere near there. I say the fuck away from there.
Posted by: Rich | October 6, 2008 3:16 PM
Today I'm not sure. Some days when I wake up, a reason pops into my head and makes life worth living. For the other days, I've learned to endure, maybe help others with their quest or just wait for tomorrow.
Posted by: Kulkuri | October 6, 2008 3:16 PM
Is that line in every episode of Doctor Who past and present??
Posted by: Rudi | October 6, 2008 3:16 PM
I'm a Doctor Who fan but that is taking it to absurd lengths.
Posted by: JenWolf | October 6, 2008 3:18 PM
Breathing, digesting the cookie I just ate, and typing a response to your demanding question. Then, clicking post.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:20 PM
I'm putting off writing an essay on pagan customs in Europe, and rehearsing what I'm going to tell my whippersnapper, know it all teacher when I don't hand it in on time.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:22 PM
You don't get off that easy buster. You just say the fuck here.
Posted by: Jared | October 6, 2008 3:23 PM
Currently, perusing through the U.S. budget documentation...
Posted by: Chief | October 6, 2008 3:26 PM
Yes, he did.
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 3:32 PM
Good point.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | October 6, 2008 3:35 PM
I'll say where I damn please.
Posted by: JimNorth | October 6, 2008 3:35 PM
Whatever it is, it ain't what you're doing.
Posted by: Brian's A Wild Downer | October 6, 2008 3:36 PM
procrasturbating
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:41 PM
You sit down and say where you're told to.
Posted by: BennyP | October 6, 2008 3:44 PM
I don't recollect.
Posted by: Nick | October 6, 2008 3:44 PM
What I'm doing here:
-Not working
-Loving science
-Building a career
-Wondering how Dr. Who writers keep getting paid
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 3:45 PM
"I know I should, but I really don't feel like masturbating right now."
Posted by: Pyroclasm | October 6, 2008 3:45 PM
If I may?
pleading,
needing,
bleeding,
breeding,
feeding,
exceeding,
where is everybody?
trying,
lying,
defying,
denying,
crying,
dying,
where is everybody?
Posted by: JM Inc. | October 6, 2008 3:47 PM
'Ello-'ello, what's all this then?
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 3:48 PM
The pooh flingers are here. Don't blat, throw some!
Posted by: GraceM | October 6, 2008 3:51 PM
Laughing at the comments!
Posted by: Qwerty | October 6, 2008 3:59 PM
Why, I am posting a comment, of course.
"What are you doing here?" Now, that's a question I'd like to ask Congress. Especially after their last giveaway!
Oh, hell, let's just ask anybody: What are you doing here?
Posted by: Zarquon | October 6, 2008 4:01 PM
Eccles: Everyone's gotta be somewhere.
Posted by: NMcC | October 6, 2008 4:04 PM
Er.....trying to work out which one is Richard Dawkins' wife.
Posted by: Newfie | October 6, 2008 4:05 PM
Existing
and self medicating back spasms, getting old sucks
/ that's not an argument, that's just contradiction
Posted by: Jonathon | October 6, 2008 4:08 PM
I must say that even though I consider myself a hard-core Dr. Who fan, I never noticed how much that line is repeated.
The phrase that I look for in every episode is "Of course!". That is pretty much in every episode.
Thanks for the walk down Dr. Who memory lane!!
Posted by: makita | October 6, 2008 4:15 PM
Taking a break from writing. On to the next chapter.
Posted by: 8teist | October 6, 2008 4:16 PM
Ummmmm,what was the question?
Posted by: zpmorgan | October 6, 2008 4:19 PM
Picking at scabs and flakes and other things.
Posted by: Kobra | October 6, 2008 4:22 PM
To grossly oversimplify the last 13.7 Billion years of cosmology and evolution, humans are simply sentience born out of energy. As far as we know, we are the only entities capable of understanding the universe. Because of this, we as a species have a (rather self-defined) purpose to do just that.
Me, specifically? I'm just one guy with strange ideas.
Here, specifically? I'm bored and my next class starts an hour from now.
Posted by: Jeanette | October 6, 2008 4:23 PM
Looking forward to Atheist Alliance International's 2009 Conference, which will be here in Colorado in September. Bill Maher and Richard Dawkins are supposed to be here. Will you be here with us again, PZ? I owe you drinks, you know.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 4:24 PM
Damn! I hope maditudes troll shows up pretty soon, I'm almost out of pooh.
Posted by: Matt | October 6, 2008 4:28 PM
procrasturbating= putting off getting off?
Posted by: Astrophel | October 6, 2008 4:30 PM
I'm just here for the food.
Posted by: MikeM | October 6, 2008 4:33 PM
Waiting for Digital Cuttlefish's next poem.
Posted by: Christopher Waldrop | October 6, 2008 4:36 PM
Wishing I could step into a police box and take a trip to anywhere in the universe.
Posted by: Qwerty | October 6, 2008 4:37 PM
There once was a man named P-Zed.
His ilk and his minions he led.
Thought none bought creation,
This Pharyngulanation,
And this is what all of them said:
What are you doing here?
(With apologies to Cuttlefish.)
Posted by: funda62 | October 6, 2008 4:37 PM
Waiting for the next Dr. Who disc to arrive via Netflix.
Posted by: Armed Pacifist | October 6, 2008 4:38 PM
Like so many of my peers in this thread I am fooling around at work rather than shove paper around. Specifically I am smoking tobacco, drinking coffee and listening to Jerry Lee Lewis sing "High School Hop". I skipped watching the video clip because I was too lazy to allow NoScript to let it run.
Posted by: JohnnieCanuck, FCD | October 6, 2008 4:39 PM
Patricia,
Given that you eat any trolls that show up here, the poo you find to fling at trolls must logically be...
Posted by: Squiddhartha | October 6, 2008 4:39 PM
Eating some teriyaki chicken and rice. Mmmm teriyaki
Posted by: tsg | October 6, 2008 4:54 PM
No it isn't.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 5:02 PM
JohnnieCanuck, Only partially, I have thirteen pullets out back. I need all the help I can get when it comes to flinging it with the trebuchet.
Posted by: Patricia | October 6, 2008 5:03 PM
You say out of it.
Posted by: El Herring | October 6, 2008 5:04 PM
It's similar to Eastenders (BBC) where in practically every episode someone bursts into a room and demands "What's goin' on 'ere then?" to which the answer is inevitably: "Naffin'!" ("Nothing" for U.S. readers).
btw I don't watch Eastenders but my mum does, and I get subjected to it whenever I visit her. That's my excuse anyway.