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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Category: Kooks
Posted on: November 12, 2008 1:16 PM, by PZ Myers
That would be one simple suggestion I'd make in a letter to Obama. When did a god-walloping meathead get the idea he can make informed contributions to government?
Comments
Posted by: notthedroids | November 12, 2008 1:21 PM
I'm certain the President Elect will give that letter exactly the attention it deserves.
Posted by: Shaden Freud | November 12, 2008 1:21 PM
When did a god-walloping meathead get the idea he can make informed contributions to government?
Around the time he became Mike Huckabee's spokesman.
Posted by: Matt7895 | November 12, 2008 1:22 PM
The sad thing is, this imbecile has a devoted internet following.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | November 12, 2008 1:23 PM
oh
shit
Posted by: Kobra | November 12, 2008 1:24 PM
in b4 chucknorrisfacts.com references
Seriously, though. Have you ever seen his cable TV atrocity, Walker, Texas Ranger? Christian overtones EVERYWHERE!
Posted by: dwarf zebu | November 12, 2008 1:24 PM
Yeesh. I wouldn't take a cranberry-orange muffin from Chuck Norris.
Posted by: TSC | November 12, 2008 1:26 PM
But, but, but he can kick everyone's ass. Therefore, god exists.
Posted by: Kobra | November 12, 2008 1:27 PM
@7: That's one for the proofs page!
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm
Posted by: Walton | November 12, 2008 1:28 PM
But... but... Chuck Norris doesn't endorse. He tells America how it's gonna be. :-)
Posted by: minimalist | November 12, 2008 1:28 PM
Around the time that became the logical conclusion to decades of the GOP abusing science, rejecting "elitists" and intellectuals, and celebrating the average god-walloping meathead like Norris or Joe the Plumber as some vaunted "voice of the common man's wisdom".
See also: Sarah Palin.
Posted by: Neil | November 12, 2008 1:30 PM
Didn't you (the American People) elect because he advocates something different from 'the policies of the last 8 years'/Chuck Norris?
Posted by: Glen Davidson | November 12, 2008 1:31 PM
Chuck preens.
Not news.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Posted by: Ole Blue | November 12, 2008 1:31 PM
I tried to read it all but I kept having the same thought running around in my head, "Why should I give a damn about what chuck thinks."
Unfortunately many would follow Chuck into the abyss of ignorance to fight what ever monster they imagine they need to fight.
Posted by: Owlmirror | November 12, 2008 1:34 PM
A genuine military attempt to rescue the hostages was "a smile and a handshake"?
Is that what they're telling themselves now?
Posted by: abb3w | November 12, 2008 1:35 PM
Matt7895: The sad thing is, this imbecile has a devoted internet following.
Eh, so does the Biting Pear of Salamanca. The Internet is a very silly place.
Posted by: archgallo | November 12, 2008 1:36 PM
Apparently you're just as bad, PZ:
"I agree Chuck Norris is to conservatism what PZ Myers is to Atheism. BAD.."
(from the comments to that post)
Posted by: daveau | November 12, 2008 1:37 PM
I don't recall Chuck asking W to "rule from the center", or quote the constitution at least once a week, etc. I wonder why that would be?
Posted by: Desert Son | November 12, 2008 1:37 PM
What I don't get about the Chuck Norris internet phenomenon is that the phenomenon built up around . . . well, Chuck Norris.
No kings,
Robert
Posted by: Steve_C | November 12, 2008 1:38 PM
Fuck You Chuck Norris.
At least we'll be know he'll be doing absolutely nothing to help, keep praying Chuckie.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | November 12, 2008 1:39 PM
Not surprisingly, from Pete Rooke
Posted by: seamaiden75 | November 12, 2008 1:40 PM
I think the secret service could take him.
Posted by: negentropyeater | November 12, 2008 1:40 PM
What a moron !
And of course with the usual favourite canard of ignorants that subprime mortgages caused the credit bubble.
Yes, lets' just ignore the deregulated shadow banking system whose investors consumed ten times more debt in order to pump in, accelerate and speculate on the growth of the capital markets, thereby also growing artificially the GDP of this country and making EVERYBODY happy (except the middle class), corporate executives paid in stock options, traders, speculators, and of course the Bush admnistration who completely closed its eyes to this evident perversion of the financial system and kept insisting that under its leadership the economy was growing very nicely.
Let's just forget about that, it's easier to blame the low income households.
Hey Chuck, shut the f*ck up !
Posted by: Raynfala | November 12, 2008 1:40 PM
Ugh... Chuck should have stopped after the first paragraph.
Posted by: Desert Son | November 12, 2008 1:41 PM
Owlmirror at #14:
What's ironic about that, didn't Norris star in a movie called Delta Force which was about that very operation?
Just checked the Wikipedia entry. Not the same operation dramatized. Shows what I know. Ah, well.
No kings,
Robert
Posted by: Matt Heath | November 12, 2008 1:42 PM
Chuck Norris is giving policy advice? Internet memes do have too little input into government..
Does anyone know if Domo Kun or the dancing hamsters have any plans for reducing troop numbers in Iraq?
Posted by: Alex | November 12, 2008 1:44 PM
Chuck:
Delusional, imbecilic, egomaniac. Ur doin it rite.
Posted by: Desert Son | November 12, 2008 1:44 PM
Matt Heath at #25:
All your economic base are belong to us?
No kings,
Robert
Posted by: Aaron | November 12, 2008 1:45 PM
Chuck Norris destroys evolution with a round house kick.
The ID advocates cheer for God.
Chuck Norris destroys God with a second round house kick.
The ID advocates cheer for Chuck Norris.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | November 12, 2008 1:46 PM
I'd love to see this response:
Dear Chuck, thank you for your submission. However, it does not fit with our plans at this time. We are returning it you in your SASE so you may submit it elsewhere. Oops, no SASE, then the circular file.
Posted by: Desert Son | November 12, 2008 1:49 PM
Turnabout being fair play, and all that, does this mean Chuck will start listening to acting, film, and television advice from others?
No kings,
Robert
Posted by: E.V. | November 12, 2008 1:49 PM
Chuck Norris is a nice guy of very average intelligence with a knack for overcompensating. (I've always thought he was closeted) He wants us all to live in a 1950's television version of reality because he thinks Father Knows Best and Leave It To Beaver are truly representative of American life.
Posted by: Ryan F Stello | November 12, 2008 1:50 PM
Chuck has also sent out this lovely poem (probably not written by him):
When all of a sudden, there arose such a noise.
I peered out my window, saw Obama and his boys.
They had come for my wallet. They wanted my pay.
To give to the others, who had not worked a day.
He snatched up my money, and as quick as wink,
jumped back on his bandwagon as a gagged from the political stink.
....more
via The Young Turks
Who says that conservatives lack creativity or a great sense of rhyme?
Posted by: MZ | November 12, 2008 1:51 PM
Chuck Norris: "I realize that we must learn to work together if we are to see our country get back on track"
Funny how conservatives are always asking to work together when they're out of power, but don't give liberals (and liberal politicians) a second glance when they are in power.
Posted by: Alex | November 12, 2008 1:52 PM
"...does this mean Chuck will start listening to acting, film, and television advice from others?"
I appreciate that humor Desert Son, however, the sad part is that he already has.
Poor fella, he thought he was an actor once, now he thinks he's a relevant pundit.
Posted by: Feynmaniac | November 12, 2008 1:53 PM
There's this Chuck Norris joke that goes : Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.
This was his ACTUAL RESPONSE to that:
Now that's funnier than any Chuck Norris joke.
Posted by: inkadu | November 12, 2008 1:55 PM
This is good. Now we should have a debate between Chuck Norris and Angelina Jolie.
Posted by: texaskeptic | November 12, 2008 1:55 PM
Chuck Norris is so tough that instead of a brain he has another fist inside his skull- and it has a death grip on a bible.
Posted by: Alex | November 12, 2008 1:56 PM
E.V #31
"...of very average intelligence..."
I'm sorry E.V., but I'm not buying that assertion unless you meant average for an 8 year old. I mean to me, he comes across as someone with an IQ just north of a bathroom rug.
Posted by: E.V. | November 12, 2008 1:58 PM
Alex: I think you overestimate the average American.
Posted by: Pete Rooke | November 12, 2008 1:58 PM
The Rev. Big Dumb Chimp covered this ages ago. PZ Myers, you must take care to avoid becoming to Atheism what Chuck Norris is to Conservatism.
Posted by: The Petey | November 12, 2008 1:58 PM
The constitution part I liked, though its hypocritical coming from the right after the Bush administration.
The rest made me gag...
a LOT!
Posted by: Schmeer | November 12, 2008 1:59 PM
Rev. BDC,
Excellent post.
So can we now call Chuck Norris an un-American douche since he doesn't support our president? Chuck, this is our country, love it or leave it. (/snark)
And what's this bullshit about speaking to the other half of the country? WTF? If it was half of the country we'd still be trying to recount the votes and declare a winner.
Posted by: Alex | November 12, 2008 2:00 PM
E.V.: Perhaps you're right. Time to recalibrate...and lose even more hope for society. Damn reality.
Posted by: Walton | November 12, 2008 2:00 PM
Feynmaniac at #35: I just clicked on the link you provided. Am I the only one who finds it irritating, with WorldNetDaily articles, that before you can view an article you have to sit through a few seconds of advertising banner saying "Click here to see how you can flush 15 pounds of undigested waste from your colon!" Do WorldNetDaily readers have unusually severe digestive problems, perhaps?
Posted by: Walton | November 12, 2008 2:00 PM
Feynmaniac at #35: I just clicked on the link you provided. Am I the only one who finds it irritating, with WorldNetDaily articles, that before you can view an article you have to sit through a few seconds of advertising banner saying "Click here to see how you can flush 15 pounds of undigested waste from your colon!" Do WorldNetDaily readers have unusually severe digestive problems, perhaps?
Posted by: Pete Rooke | November 12, 2008 2:01 PM
That will teach me for not checking the link. My apologies.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip | November 12, 2008 2:04 PM
If I have never watched a Chuck Norris movie or TV show and have never bought any of his merchandise, can I continue doing the same thing but call it a pricipled boycott?
Posted by: E.V. | November 12, 2008 2:05 PM
Alex:
Pop go your illusions! It's always been this way, nothing changed but your paradigm. My condolences.
(...as far as the eye can see, a vast sea of sheeple)
Posted by: Somnolent Aphid | November 12, 2008 2:06 PM
I remember when Elvis tried to give Nixon advice. He had some kung fu moves down as well.
Maybe there'll be a Palin / Norris ticket in 2012?
Posted by: Eamon Knight | November 12, 2008 2:07 PM
I'm certain the President Elect will give that letter exactly the attention it deserves.
Something like this?:
(Note: Not original; I paraphrased it from something I heard years ago)
Posted by: Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker | November 12, 2008 2:09 PM
Such a shame Bruce Lee is not around to kick Chuckie Baby's ass.
Posted by: Eric Atkinson | November 12, 2008 2:10 PM
"When did a god-walloping meathead get the idea he can make informed contributions to government?"
Maybe since one {the one} got elected President.
Chuck Norris is gay.
Chuck Norris is gay.
Thats what all the atheists on Pharyngula say.
Not to his face of course.
Me, I more of a Jack Bauer type of guy.
Hey, Obama owes the writers of 24 for allowing America to image that a "black" president might be a good thing.
Too bad we didn't get David Palmer.
Free association is now OFF.
Posted by: Brad D | November 12, 2008 2:11 PM
Waiting for Jackie Chan's letter which, like his martial arts movies, will no doubt be far more intelligent.
Posted by: MikeM | November 12, 2008 2:11 PM
The thing that really concerns me here is that the 47% of Americans who voted for McCain believed all the BS Palin was spouting at her rallys. Pallin around with terrorists; check. He's a socialist; check. Kill him; check.
This country truly is divided right now. I'm glad I'm with the 52%, but frankly, the other 47% would party all night long if they hear the Klan got to Obama before 1/20.
How do we defend our president now? When it's looking more and more like this, how do you defend 1 person, even the president, from what looks like such an extreme rate of redneck-ism?
Read the "apology" from Paul Broun today, too; don't miss the reader comments:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/11/12/congressman-sorry-for-likening-obama-to-hitler/
Genuinely scary.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip | November 12, 2008 2:16 PM
Bush's invasion of Iraq is what "ultimately gave rise to Ahmadinejad's Iranian regime" by reinvigorating Iranian's (well-founded) fears of a US invasion.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | November 12, 2008 2:18 PM
I see Pete "well meaning fool" is back to just being a fool. Pete, show some intelligence. Keep your opinions to your blog.
Posted by: Eric Atkinson | November 12, 2008 2:19 PM
"Such a shame Bruce Lee is not around to kick Chuckie Baby's ass"
This did happen.
In a movie.
The Way of the Dragon.
Posted by: Moggie | November 12, 2008 2:20 PM
#45:
To be fair, part of that 15 pounds is their head.
Posted by: Eric Atkinson | November 12, 2008 2:21 PM
The Return of the Dragon in the US.
Posted by: Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker | November 12, 2008 2:22 PM
I am impressed. Asshole got the joke. And explained it.
Posted by: Feynmaniac | November 12, 2008 2:23 PM
Walton #44 AND #45,
Yes, the shit ends up coming out of their mouth.
Posted by: Jason A. | November 12, 2008 2:27 PM
Last night I had a dream that I got in a fight with Chuck Norris over creationism.
Now I read this about Chuck Norris, AND I find out the campus chemistry club is putting on a showing of Expelled tonight which they're billing as 'a movie about the lives of scientists of our time' and I'm probably gonna go and talk with them about when it's over.
Coincidence? Or divine purpose? :P
Posted by: Eric Atkinson | November 12, 2008 2:28 PM
Well Janine..Assholes are usefull
things to have.
Posted by: MikeM | November 12, 2008 2:28 PM
Yeah, those colon-health ads... As a Crohn's sufferer (you don't know the half of it, nor do you want to), I find those ads extremely disturbing. So ya wanna go on a permanent colonoscopy-prep diet, eh?
Seriously, dude, that huge bulge above your beltline is NOT what you think it is. It is, however, a result of too much beer, beef, fries and TV. Anything to deny that is okay with these 'necks.
Eat less; exercise more; leave the prep drugs for when you really need them, which will be soon enough with YOUR diet and exercise habits, ya fat slob.
But I'm probably just "Pallin' around with Terrorists" when I point that out.
Posted by: Eric Atkinson | November 12, 2008 2:33 PM
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn't lactose intolerant. He just doesn't put up with lactose's shit.
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | November 12, 2008 2:36 PM
Eric you're going to make me regret writing that post.
Posted by: E.V. | November 12, 2008 2:40 PM
Well this thread just went in the toilet... thanks Eric A.
Posted by: Rey Fox | November 12, 2008 2:43 PM
"There was a man whose tears could cure cancer....His name was Jesus "
And now he's up in heaven, bogarting all that Jesus juice. Fuck you, Jesus.
"Free association is now OFF."
I'll believe that when I see it, Eric.
Posted by: Sili | November 12, 2008 2:44 PM
If the credit crunch is Clinton's fault, should we not blaim Bush for not doing anything about in the past seven years? Why does G.W.Bush hate America and her economy?
I've been reading too much about the election - the other night I dreamt I was at a dinner with Palin and felt the need to defend her against people being rude by focusing on her and her family instead of her politics.
Should prolly go offline for a coupla weeks and try to learn some topology ...
Posted by: Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker | November 12, 2008 2:48 PM
Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk?
Posted by: Eric Atkinson | November 12, 2008 2:50 PM
I hope not, Rev.
I kinda like the "dancing Darwin."
BTW, I found out something to like about Obama.
His favorite TV show was HBO's The Wire.
Mine too,Almost.. Deadwood slightly edged The Wire in a photo finish.
Cocksuckers at HBO canceled them both.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | November 12, 2008 2:56 PM
Yeah Deadwood and the Wire were both really good.
Posted by: Chip | November 12, 2008 3:06 PM
Dear Mr. Norris,
The constitution was designed to PROTECT liberties not limit them. Dumbass.
Chip
Dear PZ,
Come back to Denver and do our Cafe Scientifique, Please
Posted by: Qwerty | November 12, 2008 3:17 PM
I noticed Chuck forgot to tell Obama not to get involved in a foreign war in a country that might led to an insurgency along with the fruitlessness of nation building in a country with lots of corruption and hostility towards American style democracy ala Lyndon Baines Johnson.
Oh... Wait... The current president did this for Obama? And not once, but twice? It's one of his many gifts to the president elect? Maybe that's why Chuck left it out.
Posted by: BlueIndependent | November 12, 2008 3:19 PM
Mr. Norris was nice enough to come down to our level in writing such a long post. After all, he is quite powerful, isn't he? Why should a man with so much power in the two feet he stands on, why waste the energy on us plebs?
He could've just used his powers of communication and simply written: "I am Chuck Norris, and I have thoughts about how Obama act as president."
That's it. That's the whole article. With that one sentence, he could've communicated so much, without worrying his registered little hands with details like adjectives, predicates, verbs, transitionary devices, etc. He could've written that one sentence, and we'd already know where Chuck stood.
But then, he could have kept his mouth shut altogether.
Posted by: Aaron | November 12, 2008 3:20 PM
I'm pretty sure he came to the conclusion that his opinion matters after Fox News kept bringing him on the air to comment on stupid stuff.
Posted by: frog | November 12, 2008 3:22 PM
Owlmirror: A genuine military attempt to rescue the hostages was "a smile and a handshake"?
Well, this is coming from folks who excuse secret deals with our sworn enemies holding hostages, against the elected government of the US --- then use that money to contravene our laws.
Yeah, Reagan is a "hero" and Carter was a "coward". And 2+2 = 5. Chuck Norris is just a self-aggrandizing scumbag.
Posted by: varlo | November 12, 2008 3:23 PM
Dear Mr. Norris:
For the benefit of Whitehouse staff please forward future correspondence on Charmin.
Posted by: frog | November 12, 2008 3:29 PM
MikeM: The thing that really concerns me here is that the 47% of Americans who voted for McCain believed all the BS Palin was spouting at her rallys. Pallin around with terrorists; check. He's a socialist; check. Kill him; check.
I doubt that; probably a 20% just feel that black people are scary, and they're going to A) take all the stuff back B) take all the white women. After a few years where the scare Black President turns out to just be basically a conservative, center-right president, and folks learn that "center-right" (which they really want) is not a hard-right government (which speaks in their language, but whose policies are completely different from what American want), the Rs will just be left with the 20% dead-enders that support Bush today. I.e., unrepentant fascists.
Posted by: gs | November 12, 2008 3:33 PM
Chucky can write! There's always a bright side!
Posted by: o_0 | November 12, 2008 3:44 PM
"The Return of The Dragon" is the problem!
Bruce Lee was being nice and tried to help Chuck out by giving him a part in that movie. That in turn give Chuck his career, which otherwise he would most likely not have.
Posted by: Your Name's Not Bruce? | November 12, 2008 3:49 PM
Shouldn't that be "meat-walloping god-head"...?
Posted by: Molly, NYC | November 12, 2008 3:53 PM
He's as good at political analysis as he is at acting.
Posted by: Feynmaniac | November 12, 2008 3:56 PM
Favourite Hannity & Colmes moment:
"Hello, I'm Chuck Norris filling in for Sean Hannity...."
Posted by: Andrew | November 12, 2008 3:57 PM
Palin/Norris 2012!
Posted by: Nemo | November 12, 2008 4:03 PM
My advice to Obama is to ignore all the idiots, including Nancy Pelosi, who insist that you must govern from the center. Well-executed liberal policies will be better for the country, and will help move the Overton window. The right will despise you either way, so there's little point in trying to appease them.
Posted by: Longtime Lurker | November 12, 2008 4:18 PM
After Election Day, I asked myself, despite the outcome, how can I work for our new president to help better America? Then the thought occurred to me, the first question that should be answered is: How will you work for me?
Shorter Chuck Norris: I ain't workin' for no black guy!
Posted by: Ferrous Patella | November 12, 2008 4:23 PM
I though Wulzerebacher was going to be Pain's running mate. Norris could be SecDef.
Posted by: Raynfala | November 12, 2008 4:35 PM
Yeah, the same station that seeks opinions on economics and foreign policy from "Joe the Plumber" and "Tito the Builder"."Chuck the Chucklehead". Catchy...
Posted by: SeanD. | November 12, 2008 4:46 PM
"When did a god-walloping meathead get the idea he can make informed contributions to government?"
When he made "Delta Force"...the Tard(tm) is strong in this one.
Posted by: hobomacjones | November 12, 2008 4:52 PM
Longtime Lurker - That's exactly the vibe I was getting while reading most of it. I doubt he'd be so condescending to W.
Posted by: paz | November 12, 2008 4:54 PM
If you guys really want a laugh, go over to Ruthlessreviews.com and click on their "Guide to 80's Action Films", and read any review for any of the Chuck Norris films of the 80's. All their reviews are broken up into section, like "novelty deaths", "homoeroticism" (of which there is typically plenty) and "stupid political content". It's no surprise that blond, well-oiled muscular manly men of the Reagan-Era action film is a synonym for the rugged c*ck of Christ, cuttin' down terrorists and other unamerican heathens and saving white people.
And when I was a six-year old, I freakin' loved "Invasion USA". Why, oh why, Chuck?
paz
Posted by: Ken | November 12, 2008 4:55 PM
@77
I thought the 2+2 = 5 problem was because Chuck destroyed the number four during one of tantrums while trying to learn math.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | November 12, 2008 5:29 PM
When did a god-walloping meathead get the idea he can make informed contributions to government?
When Karl Rove told him to run. Oh, you meant another GWMH?
Posted by: Susan Cogan | November 12, 2008 5:31 PM
When jerks like this start moralizing about the constitution it makes me want to laugh or vomit. Maybe both.
Posted by: rimpal | November 12, 2008 5:43 PM
So Chuck Norris wants to blame Carter for the Iran fundamentalist takeover? Not the cynical and totalitarian means that were used to keep out democratic moderates from power in Iran right from the 1950s? Not the support that was provided to the Shah of Iran to run his feared internal security force SAVAK?
Posted by: bezoar | November 12, 2008 5:57 PM
I knew chuck back in the day when he was a tournament fighter and had these epic battles with Joe Lewis over who's style was better, Joe's (Okinawan) or Chuck's (Korean). He still represents himself the same way in his words. He was a dope then and is now.
Posted by: Donovan | November 12, 2008 6:01 PM
I wonder why Chuck expects, rather demands, Obama be better than any president in history. You said it Chuck: It's "WE THE PEOPLE." That means we are the government. We are the protectors of our rights. One man, one party, hell, even one nation can't do it alone. What can Obama do? Not much, mostly just inspire, calm, incite, or (if he's like Bush) offer morbid entertainment for the people. What can WE THE PEOPLE do? Apparently, unimaginable things.
Posted by: Mister Griswold | November 12, 2008 6:38 PM
Chuck, put your brain back in your pants and give me fifty more reps.
Posted by: AJ Milne | November 12, 2008 7:34 PM
My acting, film, and television advice for Chuck Norris: stop doing those things.
... oh, and re writing unsolicited policy advice, stop that, too.
... actually, now that I think about it, I'm spotting a pretty clear pattern, here. So whatever it is you're doing right now, stop doing that, as well. It's probably for the best.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM | November 12, 2008 7:41 PM
I really really hate to have to do this to you people bu
www.barackobamafacts.com
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | November 12, 2008 7:47 PM
You know, that one is actually good.