Pharyngula

Some men’s magazine was planning a cheesy promotion: they were going to include inflatable breasts with an issue. Sad news, though: the crate has been lost at sea.

There is some speculation that pirates are responsible. Very lonely, tasteless pirates.

Comments

  1. #1 Brad D
    December 4, 2008

    I’ll have to keep abreast of this situation.

  2. #2 co
    December 4, 2008

    Where’s w00t when you need him?

  3. #3 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Buncha boobs.

    Where’s w00t when you need him?

    Where is wOOt?

  4. #4 clinteas
    December 4, 2008

    This seems as good a time as any to proclaim that boobs are not my favourite female body part.
    Thank you.

  5. #5 co
    December 4, 2008

    clinteas, that sounds like a proper poll subject.

  6. #6 Teh Merkin
    December 4, 2008

    Imagine 130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea

    What, again? I just imagined that yesterday.

  7. #7 pikeamus
    December 4, 2008

    hahahaha

    hahah

    *cries and struggles for breath*

    ha

  8. #8 Ouchimoo
    December 4, 2008

    mmmmmmmmm randomness.

  9. #9 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    Ahhhhh, yes, that I will (continue to) do.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  10. #10 Christie
    December 4, 2008

    Aw, I feel bad for all the poor sea creatures that will be choking on boobs!

  11. #11 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    @ clinteas and co

    We could have a “Tit for Tat” poll.

  12. #12 Brad D
    December 4, 2008


    Imagine all those booooobies,
    floating out to sea,

    You hooo hoowoo

    You may say I’m a dreamer,
    but I’m not the only one.

  13. #13 Richard Wolford
    December 4, 2008

    @clinteas #4

    Agreed; I prefer to go further south, other side.

    That is all.

  14. #14 woody
    December 4, 2008

    I’m a leg-and-ass man, myself…

  15. #15 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    Recent poll:

    5% of men prefer stockings
    5% prefer bare legs
    90% prefer something in between.

  16. #16 stevogvsu
    December 4, 2008

    Lonely pirates? Or a rouge band of inquisitive and randy cephalopods?

  17. #17 Robert W
    December 4, 2008

    Maybe one of the floating boobs is Bill O’Reilly!

    Oh wait … that was the previous post. D’oh!

  18. #18 Richard Harris
    December 4, 2008

    Clinteas, doesn’t it depend upon what size they are, & whether or not they’re pert or pendulous? Medium size & pert takes a lot of beating.

    This is not mere frivolity, or prurience, on my part. Was it out of the infant’s need for suckling that our aesthetics evolved? Don’t tell me all this was Intelligently Designed. Bwahahaha.

  19. #19 varlo
    December 4, 2008

    Why do I smell a publicity stunt about an actually nonexistent publicity stunt?

  20. #20 Sastra
    December 4, 2008

    This is a job for the good men of the US Navy. They’ve handled breasts before.

  21. #21 Richard Harris
    December 4, 2008

    …a cheesy promotion…

    I’ll allow you milky, but cheesy – ?

  22. #22 Richard Harris
    December 4, 2008

    …Maybe one of the floating boobs is Bill O’Reilly!

    No, not boobs. Something between the buttocks would be more appropriate.

  23. #23 Enshoku
    December 4, 2008

    The sad thing is the fact that they aren’t yet inflated. Can you imagine sailors in their big white boats coming by and seeing wet saggy boobs in the water? eww.

  24. #24 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    No, not boobs. Something between the buttocks would be more appropriate.

    His head?

  25. #25 Ethan Zook
    December 4, 2008

    At least we’ll know they float…Maybe we can use this to chart ocean currents? You know, put the loss towards something useful.

  26. #26 Madžcientist
    December 4, 2008

    It is a good science opportunity for oceanography

  27. #27 Raynfala
    December 4, 2008

    130,000 breasts? Wow, line them up in the San Francisco Bay, and you could walk across them from San Francisco to Oakland…

    …and when I say “walk”, I mean “crawl along the surface”…
    …and when I say “crawl”, I mean “slide myself, snake-like, taking great care to keep my hips low”…
    …and when I say “myself”, I mean “my unclothed body”…

    and…

  28. #28 Deepsix
    December 4, 2008

    “Some men’s magazine was planning a cheesy promotion: they were going to include inflatable breasts with an issue. Sad news, though: the crate has been lost at sea.”

    Well that sucks. I had already paid my subscription in full.

  29. #29 Sili
    December 4, 2008

    I like big butts and I cannot lie.

    (Actually, I lie just fine. Legs are more my thing.)

    So are these gonna help us chart the currents like those rubber duckies and sneakers did?

  30. #30 WRMartin
    December 4, 2008

    Now I understand the true meaning behind this blurb on the lefthand side of the page:

    Stay abreast of your favorite bloggers’ latest and greatest via e-mail, via a daily digest.
    Sign me up!

    Sign me up! Indeed. ;)

    Add one ‘harumph’ for using this opportunity for science and monitor where they come ashore. We are now taking submissions for titles and abstracts…

    Pirate talk will also be accepted.

  31. #31 Form&Function
    December 4, 2008

    I can’t be the only one to feel some real concern about this story and other recent news about pirates. For the faithful, it’s a clear sign that the global warming trend is only going to worsen.

  32. #32 Romeo Vitelli
    December 4, 2008

    The people of Atlantis are once again reminded of how strange surface dwellers are.

  33. #33 Pete UK
    December 4, 2008

    Well If I were in the navy and put on breast-retrieving duty, I’d feel a right tit.

  34. #34 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    #11 Mayhempix – I’ll raise your tit for tat.

    I have two, and I can tat.

  35. #35 beckyws
    December 4, 2008

    My favourite part of my own (female) body is my brain.

  36. #36 Pete UK
    December 4, 2008

    I guess over there you must be having difficulty keeping a breast off the news…

  37. #37 Blackrend
    December 4, 2008

    Epic.

  38. #38 Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM
    December 4, 2008

    death by a thousand puns

  39. #39 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    My favourite part of my own (female) body is my brain.

    Brains are a bit harder to see from across the room.

    Unless they aren’t, in which case, ewwww.

  40. #40 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    death by a thousand puns

    I got a dollar on “over”.

  41. #41 beckyws
    December 4, 2008

    #39,

    I prefer men who can use more than one sense at a time ;)

  42. #42 WRMartin
    December 4, 2008

    Among Patricia’s other attributes is that she can tat?!
    I remember watching my grandmother tat and make wonderful little decorative things all apparently, from a child’s view, from nothing more than some thread.
    Go Patricia!

  43. #43 SC
    December 4, 2008

    death by a thousand puns

    Yeah, someone should nip this in the bud.

  44. #44 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    I prefer men who can use more than one sense at a time ;)

    I’m not saying brains aren’t important, just not as easy to notice.

  45. #45 RickrOll
    December 4, 2008

    *laughing, gasps for air*

    *Fall over, roll around, gasping, laughing*

    *asphyxiation, death*

  46. #46 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    I prefer men who can use more than one sense at a time ;)

    I see, fantasy men.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  47. #47 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    My only interest in tat is where do I get it and how do I trade it in for the other thing?

  48. #48 blf
    December 4, 2008

    It’s all part of the Vatican’s new secret plan to deal with the clergypedaphiles: Inflatable altar boys. They will be supplied at nominal cost, probably less than that of a box of crackers, in an attempt to change the habits of millennia.

    The crate was not actually lost at sea. The Big Sky Fairy teleported the crate from inside its shipping container to the lower levels of the Vatican dungeons (where Elvis is kept in cold storage). The contents will probably be distributed in the usual manner, by prayerportation.

    The story that what was lost was inflatable female body parts is either part of the cover-up, or just another example of the Vatican’s sexual confusion. The magazine is presumed to be a front, but clear evidence is lacking.

  49. #49 Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM
    December 4, 2008

    Yeah, someone should nip this in the bud.

    damn you

    /fist shake

  50. #50 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    Yeah, someone should nip this in the bud.

    Well, that was a bust. An udder failure, I’d say.

  51. #51 Banana
    December 4, 2008

    If the breasts float accross the sea do they become abroad?

  52. #52 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    Come sit by me you naughty tsg, I’ll show you how to tat and we can share my WalnetO’s.

  53. #53 Ron Sullivan
    December 4, 2008

    Inflatable tits. That’s what I’ve wanted for a few years now, since my real ones started migrating in the general direction of my waist. Fortunately they can’t find that anymore either. The outcome is in suspense.

    I figure I can fill them with helium. Keep me all perky-looking* and light on my feet; in the case of a water landing I can serve as a flotation device**; and if I’m ever attacked with a sharp instrument I’ll have instant revenge in hearing the perp turn into Donald Duck.

    I moss w00t too. Come back w00t! Please don’t tell us you ran out of boobies! You could go into re-runs! And there are still tits! Great tits, even!

    *too late
    ** Robo-tits. Maybe I want robo-tits.

  54. #54 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Well, that was a bust. An udder failure, I’d say.

    Before people start threatening me with the rack, I’ll wean myself off the puns and head out to the supermarket.

  55. #55 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    Come sit by me you naughty tsg, I’ll show you how to tat and we can share my WalnetO’s.

    Oh, no. I’m not falling for that again. This is going to be like the time some girl asked me up for some philately and all we did was look at stamps.

  56. #56 me
    December 4, 2008

    Hey PZ!

    Make sure you keep us abreast of this titillating story, bra!

  57. #57 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Before people start threatening me with the rack, I’ll wean myself off the puns and head out to the supermarket.

    I really am having a tough time pulling myself away from a pun thread. I think I might have a problem. This calls for a serious self-examination…

  58. #58 tsg
    December 4, 2008

    Before people start threatening me with the rack, I’ll wean myself off the puns and head out to the supermarket.

    While you’re there, I need BooBerry cereal.

  59. #59 me
    December 4, 2008

    The Big Sky Fairy teleported the crate from inside its shipping container to the lower levels of the Vatican dungeons (where Elvis is kept in cold storage).

    That’s theft!!! I hope he gets busted! Then again the Vatican could always use this whole situation to milk out some more publicity.

  60. #60 Bill Dauphin
    December 4, 2008

    clinteas:

    This seems as good a time as any to proclaim that boobs are not my favourite female body part.

    An unnecessary proclamation; I had assumed as much based on your comments about Giada De Laurentiis over on the squiddy-foodie thread. ;^)

  61. #61 Gregory Earl
    December 4, 2008

    Imagine 130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea

    Oooh, I love spring break…

  62. #62 SC
    December 4, 2008

    I really am having a tough time pulling myself away from a pun thread.

    While you’re there, I need BooBerry cereal.

    Thanks – that helped. :)

  63. #63 Deepsix
    December 4, 2008

    This reminds me of the words of a very wise man:

    Clark: Oh, I was just smelling – smiling. I was just blouse – browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn’t… Oh hee hee, it wouldn’t be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they – HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn’t it?
    Mary: You have your coat on.
    Clark: Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?

  64. #64 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    Jugs are needed where men go down the sea in ships. Mounds of them.

    As an avid bird watcher, I know I’d be willing to go to the racks for a good look at 130,000 Boobies and Great Tits. I’d even scramble over boulders and melons for the opportunity.

    Nuff bad punning.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  65. #65 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Imagine 130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea

    Much more likely a shipping container. They fall overboard all the time and have a tendency to either sink outright or float with the top just at the surface if they have buoyant content: very hard to see and a serious hazard to small craft. If you do any offshore sailing, they’re one of many things that you have to keep an eye out for.

  66. #66 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    Poor tsg, led into temptation and all you got was a good licking.

  67. #67 Longtime Lurker
    December 4, 2008

    The people of Atlantis are once again reminded of how strange surface dwellers are

    How about the Chinese prisoners/slave laborers working in the inflatable boob factory? You know, the people doing the boob jobs.

  68. #68 hje
    December 4, 2008

    Men have never gotten over that Venus of Willendorf-thing.

  69. #69 C. M. Baxter
    December 4, 2008

    I wouldn’t give you a nipple – er, I mean a nickel – for the whole lot of’em.

  70. #70 Levi
    December 4, 2008

    My favourite part of my own (female) body is my brain.

    I like big brains and I cannot lie
    You other brothers can’t deny
    That when a girl walks in with a Phil Plait book
    And an intellect in your face
    You get sprung
    Wanna pull up tough
    Cuz you notice that head was stuffed
    Deep in the hat she’s wearing
    I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring

  71. #71 Deepsix
    December 4, 2008

    Emmet Caulfield
    “Much more likely a shipping container. They fall overboard all the time and have a tendency to either sink outright or float with the top just at the surface if they have buoyant content: very hard to see and a serious hazard to small craft. If you do any offshore sailing, they’re one of many things that you have to keep an eye out for.”

    Well thanks for ruining the mental image/fantasy for everyone!

  72. #72 Carlie
    December 4, 2008

    Are those what bring all the buoys to the yard?

  73. #73 SimonPure
    December 4, 2008

    I’d rather see fake boobs wash up than real feet: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7726165.stm

  74. #74 Bill Dauphin
    December 4, 2008

    Ron Sullivan (@53):

    Inflatable tits. That’s what I’ve wanted for a few years now, since my real ones… [emphasis added]

    A girl named “Ron”? You’re not by any chance married to a boy named “Sue,” are you?

    PS: Forgive me if I’ve come to an erroneous conclusion. I know there’s a photo on your blog, but apparently your photo hosting site is blocked on my work computer.

    PPS: Yes, I know men have “tits.” In fact, back when I was in college, my father had a radical mastectomy to cure his breast cancer. It’s a funny old world, isn’t it?

  75. #75 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Well thanks for ruining the mental image/fantasy for everyone!

    Well, I am an atheist ;o)

  76. #76 Longtime Lurker
    December 4, 2008

    Are those what bring all the buoys to the yard?

    Nice, Carlie! Have you heard the Bitter Sound Foundation L7 vs Kelis mashup? Absolutely brilliant!

  77. #77 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    I suppose I should thank PZ for opening my eyes to the possibility of not imagining 130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea.

    Who knew?

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  78. #78 chancelikely
    December 4, 2008

    Oh, no. I’m not falling for that again. This is going to be like the time some girl asked me up for some philately and all we did was look at stamps.

    Tsg, haven’t you heard? Philately will get you nowhere.

  79. #79 Bill Dauphin
    December 4, 2008

    Philately will get you nowhere.

    Some folks have a hobby,
    Like tennis, or philately;
    I’ve got a hobby:
    Re-reading Lady Chatterly!
    -”Smut,” Tom Lehrer

    Sorry ’bout that: I can’t read or even think of that word without hearing Lehrer in my head!

  80. #80 Katrina
    December 4, 2008

    Awww, man. After a second glass of wine (a nice Sicilian D’Avola) I’m having a tough time reading these comments and not snorting.

    My husband and kids keep giving me these odd looks.

    Patricia: Tatting’s cool. I was never very good at it, but used to enjoy crochet (before kids and the internet took up all my time).

  81. #81 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    Posted by: Patricia | December 4, 2008 12:33 PM
    “#11 Mayhempix – I’ll raise your tit for tat.
    I have two, and I can tat.”

    Do you mean tat as in “puddy tat?”

  82. #82 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    Thanks for the mammaries everyone!

  83. #83 Rey Fox
    December 4, 2008

    Laugh all you want. I’m too busy despairing over sharing the planet with millions of men who buy magazines with “free inflatable breasts” promotions.

  84. #84 Bill Dauphin
    December 4, 2008

    Rey Fox (and all you other curmudgeons who refuse to laugh at this):

    There are always reasons to despair about your fellow man or about the fate of the planet; laughter is our bulwark against mass suicide.

    Shorter me: Lighten up, y’all!

  85. #85 Benjamin Franklin
    December 4, 2008

    Maybe it’s just me, but I thought the most hilarious thing in the article was that the men’s magazine was called

    Ralph

  86. #86 Marc Abian
    December 4, 2008

    You’re not the only one Ben.

  87. #87 Cthulhu
    December 4, 2008

    So, there I was in sunken R’lyeh, happily snoozing away, when I was woken up by a big crate drifting down right on top on me.

    I tear the crate open, expecting a nice snack of sacrificial victims, or something else appropriate, and instead, I find that the thing was full of inflatable plastic films, coloured and shaped like human breasts.

    And I curse my fate.

    I was preparing to awake and devour the sanity of the human race.

    And I am obviously much, much too late.

    You are all completely and udderly daft.

  88. #88 CortxVortx
    December 4, 2008

    What, aureole done with the puns?

  89. #89 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    @CortxVortx

    Very punny.

    I was waiting to see who would make a good pun with aureole
    and you milked it for all it was worth.

  90. #90 Owlmirror
    December 4, 2008

    Isn’t a load of bogus boobs illegal? I mean, they’re counterf-tit moo-lalas.

    And aren’t you gland there are no more puns to be nursed out of this story?

  91. #91 mayehmpix
    December 4, 2008

    Posted by: Owlmirror | December 4, 2008 4:34 PM
    “And aren’t you gland there are no more puns to be nursed out of this story?”

    It’s been the breast of times for all the bosom buddies here.

  92. #92 Randall
    December 4, 2008

    I always thought that pirates were only interested in booty, but it looks like some are breast men.

  93. #93 Owlmirror
    December 4, 2008

    I always thought that pirates were only interested in booty, but it looks like some are breast men

    Well, being pirates, what they’re probably really interested in is cleavage in general.

    And rum.

  94. #94 Interrobang
    December 4, 2008

    Imagine 130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea

    I personally reenacted something like that in Lake Ontario just this past summer. I really need to get a new swimsuit.

  95. #95 LisaJ
    December 4, 2008

    After a long rough day, I am really appreciating reading through this thread and laughing my ass off! Well, I’m off for dinner and I’m going to bundle up, ’cause it’s nippy out there!

    Nice job on all the titillating puns everyone. Thanks for the laughs… you’re all the breast.

  96. #96 Tom Foss
    December 4, 2008

    Actually, the story I read said it was only 129,992 inflatable breasts. It was supposed to be 130,000, but they lacked eight.
    ;)

  97. #97 Owlmirror
    December 4, 2008

    Actually, the story I read said it was only 129,992 inflatable breasts. It was supposed to be 130,000, but they lacked eight.

    I bet you’re feeling all pumped after that one.

  98. #98 Benjamin Franklin
    December 4, 2008

    There I was, relaxing on my lounger, drifting along the ebbing tide of my tropical paradise, then

    BAM!

    A container marked RALPH knocked me upside the head.

    It was the breast of times, it was the worst of times.

  99. #99 MH
    December 4, 2008

    Sastra #20 “This is a job for the good men of the US Navy.”

    Those breasts will be covered in seamen in no time!

  100. #100 Tom Foss
    December 4, 2008

    I bet you’re feeling all pumped after that one.

    I’m actually feeling kind of drained. It was a tender moment.

  101. #101 papa zita
    December 4, 2008

    Why does this sound like it’d make a good Warner Bros. cartoon? Sea creatures find crate of inflatable breasts and do interesting things with them.

  102. #102 Owlmirror
    December 4, 2008

    It was supposed to be 130,000, but they lacked eight.

    I see here that it’s suspected that they somehow picked up a strong static charge, and repelled themselves from the rest. Or in other words, the lacked eight shun.

    Sea creatures find crate of inflatable breasts and do interesting things with them.

    The Fish Police cop a feel?

  103. #103 blueelm
    December 4, 2008

    [blockquote] I suppose I should thank PZ for opening my eyes to the possibility of not imagining 130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea. [/blockquote]

    Actually the idea of 130,000 severed body parts washing ashore is rather horrifying to me. Oh… that’s right. Women ARE tits… gotcha.

  104. #104 Owlmirror
    December 4, 2008

    Actually the idea of 130,000 severed body parts washing ashore is rather horrifying to me.

    Well, that’s a buzzkill. Everyone else is thinking of silly puns; what brought that on?

    Oh… that’s right. Women ARE tits… gotcha.

    Unpleasant, and wrong, too.

  105. #105 Rey Fox
    December 4, 2008

    Seriously: What does one do with inflatable breasts? Knead them in one’s hands like an executive stress ball or very poor substitute for the real thing? Hang them up at parties? Bat them around at rock concerts? Fill a children’s ball pit with them? Okay, that last one sounds like fun, but you’d need the whole shipping container, and I just don’t have the money for the sea exploration or that many magazine subscriptions.

  106. #106 Tom Foss
    December 4, 2008

    Actually the idea of 130,000 severed body parts washing ashore is rather horrifying to me. Oh… that’s right. Women ARE tits… gotcha

    Yes, I’m certain that’s the general consensus around here, not that the whole concept of inflatable boobs is absurd and a little pathetic.

    Then again, it’s not as though men have a monopoly on sex toys that look like severed body parts.

  107. #107 Randall
    December 4, 2008

    When I first read about this I wondered, “Were they really distributing just one boob per subscriber or were these 130,000 PAIRS of boobs (i.e., 260,000 boobs)?”

    The article seems to indicate that we’re only dealing with 130,000 single boobs. Of course, it may be that there were 65,000 boob pairs and the reporter did the multiplication necessary to get the 130,000 figure.

    I just find the idea of a single, disembodied boob a lot more disturbing than the idea of a conjoined pair of disembodied boobs.

  108. #108 margaret harnish
    December 4, 2008

    Having endured all these clever puns about once again the degrading half the human race to their body parts, I am very tempted to add some well aimed dick puns specifically the one us female docs calling urological surgeons, brain surgeons, and stating our brain surgeons having such have hard time finding the object of surgery, at least for half of their patients. But that wouldn’t be nice, now would it? Of course, your clever lads would respond by calling me a humorless c—. So once again I hold my tongue and silently
    wishing your “brains” all shrink. No that is not nice, either, because I happen to enjoy that part your anatomy, at least when it correctly used and not as a subsitute for brains.
    when you use it for its actual

  109. #109 Kate
    December 4, 2008

    Randall # 107 “I just find the idea of a single, disembodied boob a lot more disturbing than the idea of a conjoined pair of disembodied boobs.”

    That is pretty disturbing. Even if they were in a pair it seems from the article that they’re not “attached” boobs. That’s just… creepy. Creepy and weird.

    … But I REALLY would have loved to have been when the Marketing Dept. suggested this. That must have been a very strange presentation!

  110. #110 margaret harnish
    December 4, 2008

    oops, apparently your server is male, too. Please delete the last line which I know will lead to some lame insults about my typing. Don’t you know – we MD all are poor at handwriting , communicating in simple English, etc

  111. #111 Kate
    December 4, 2008

    Margaret, grow a sense of humour. If you honestly think every person who commented and made a pun was male, I think you might be the one with the sexism issues! Life is much more pleasant if you don’t get your tits in a twist over adults having a little fun.

    ……heh.

  112. #112 Nerd of Redhead
    December 4, 2008

    I recall a job interview trip where my host was running behind due to a family emergency. They had me breakfast with a group interviewing with the marketing department so the company could pick up the tab. It was very entertaining listening to them talk about advertising campaigns. It was a whole different world.

  113. #113 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Having endured all these clever puns about once again the degrading half the human race to their body parts, I am very tempted to add some well aimed dick puns… But that wouldn’t be nice, now would it? Of course, your clever lads would respond by calling me a humorless c—.

    Well, you do seem rather humorless from that post, but I wouldn’t mind a few other dick puns (any puns at all, really). Really – urinal live and let live kind of place. Of course, I’m not a clever lad.

  114. #114 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Oh, c’mon SC, it cod be that Margaret was just being a bit teste.

  115. #115 Levi
    December 4, 2008

    Ooh, that reminds me of a punny joke.

    What do you get when you cross a penis, a potato, and a boat? A dictatorship!

  116. #116 Dust
    December 4, 2008

    Ray Fox @105 ‘Seriously: What does one do with inflatable breasts?…….Bat them around at rock concerts?’

    That sounds like a good idea!

    Sorry Margret, MD, but Dust is a woman thinks the story and the puns are hi-larious!!

    Back to bad boob puns!

  117. #117 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Man, I’m just about to go nad you start this up again. (Do fake-typo puns count? I say yes.) You think you’re sovary clever.

  118. #118 Levi
    December 4, 2008

    Yeah, they’re just being a bit melondramatic. Ignore them.

  119. #119 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Sheesh, margaret. We make a few lousy puns and uterus apart.

  120. #120 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Do fake-typo puns count?

    I suppose that depends on what the ultimate test-is.

  121. #121 Tom Foss
    December 4, 2008

    Man, I’m just about to go nad you start this up again. (Do fake-typo puns count? I say yes.) You think you’re sovary clever.

    It would be terrible of me to egg you on after that. Moreover, I don’t think I can support these non-breast-related puns. We need to lift and separate the breast-puns from the new flock of genital puns that seem to have budded out of desperation. If we don’t get back to the real task in hand, this whole thread is going to go tits-up.

  122. #122 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    We make a few lousy puns and uterus apart.

    Yes, but we should be genital with those who are not regular posters.

  123. #123 SC
    December 4, 2008

    I suppose that depends on what the ultimate test-is.

    Don’t know. As I said, I’m pro. State your case against.

    (Have viagra-m of shame? It appears not.)

  124. #124 Tom Foss
    December 4, 2008

    I really hope these wash ashore in a couple of weeks. It would certainly be cause for rejoice. I can hear it already:

    I saw some tits come sailing in
    On Christmas Day, On Christmas Day
    Ten thousand tits came sailing in
    On Christmas Day in the morning

  125. #125 RickrOll
    December 4, 2008

    “I am very tempted to add some well aimed dick puns”- M

    I appreciate anything that denagrates anyone! bring it on! Let the Luls ensue!

  126. #126 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Don’t know. As I said, I’m pro. State your case against.

    I’m nut sure, as it cod in-vulva departure from tradition.

  127. #127 SC
    December 4, 2008

    I’m nut sure, as it cod in-vulva departure from tradition.

    A “departure from tradition” sounds good and probably won’t cause uspermanent damage. But I have to wonder: Is that what we should cl it or is that just aimed at making some of us happy?

  128. #128 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    A “departure from tradition” sounds good and probably won’t cause uspermanent damage.

    Butt where would it stop pudenda-p with something along the loins of “anything goes”, which might nut be ve-reproductive.

  129. #129 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Butt where would it stop pudenda-p with something along the loins of “anything goes”, which might nut be ve-reproductive.

    Possibly, but I think that might be a fellatious argument.

  130. #130 Heidi Anderson
    December 4, 2008

    Nothing clever to say, just thanks for the laughs on a bad day. This is the funniest thing I have seen since Hamster on a Piano.

  131. #131 clinteas
    December 4, 2008

    *Looks into thread on a new day and aspirates his coffee laughing*
    Well done people !

  132. #132 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Possibly, but I think that might be a fellatious argument.

    …and I’m just not swallowing it.

  133. #133 leftystrat
    December 4, 2008

    Imagine 130,001 breasts bobbing in the sea.

    I understand that large breasts are attractive because the drive to procreate is imprinted upon us and they would supply a lot of milk.

    I tend to like smaller breasts and hate kids, thus confirming the theory.

  134. #134 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    SC-rote:

    Possibly, but I think that might be a fellatious argument.

    You truly are a cunning linguist! I’ll have to con-seed defeat if I can’t come up with a hole basket of n-eusexual puns.

  135. #135 clinteas
    December 4, 2008

    .and I’m just not swallowing it.

    Stop it,please…..

    *gasps for breath*

  136. #136 Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM
    December 4, 2008

    thankfully I have alcohol in the house. Having come back here and seen this and not have had any, there might be violence.

  137. #137 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Stop it,please…..

    *gasps for breath*

    Added that specially for you. ;)

  138. #138 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    …and I’m just not swallowing it.

    Ovary funny, butt virgin on the obscene!

  139. #139 SC
    December 4, 2008

    thankfully I have alcohol in the house. Having come back here and seen this and not have had any, there might be violence.

    Won’t help you. As you can see, we hit below the belt. (I made that a double for you, Rev.)

  140. #140 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    osted by: SC | December 4, 2008 8:02 PM
    “We make a few lousy puns and uterus apart.”

    The best puntification of the day so far.
    One swift hard glans and I knew it was true…
    you are indeed the perfect woman.

  141. #141 Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM
    December 4, 2008

    *runs screaming from his computer

  142. #142 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Ovary funny, butt virgin on the obscene!

    Well, you have a dirty mind, I guessS&My meaning, in contrast, was asinnocent as can be.

  143. #143 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    [blockquote] I suppose I should thank PZ for opening my eyes to the possibility of not imagining 130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea. [/blockquote]

    Actually the idea of 130,000 severed body parts washing ashore is rather horrifying to me.

    Um, you added “severed”. Certainly in my imaginings they are not, they’re attached to 65,000 naked beauties.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  144. #144 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Well, you have a dirty mind

    True, but urethra very slutty or a very clever woman, paying lip-service to sluttiness.

  145. #145 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    Cut or cauterized… vans the deferens?

  146. #146 SC
    December 4, 2008

    One swift hard glans and I knew it was true…
    you are indeed the perfect woman.

    :D

    True, but urethra very slutty or a very clever woman, paying lip-service to sluttiness.

    Either way, I’ve got you licked.

  147. #147 clinteas
    December 4, 2008

    Ovary funny, butt virgin on the obscene!

    Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    How am I meant to get anything meaningful done here,people?

  148. #148 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    Posted by: clinteas | December 4, 2008 9:45 PM
    “How am I meant to get anything meaningful done here,people?”

    I know what you mean…
    the cervix here is lousy.

  149. #149 nanu nanu
    December 4, 2008

    I’m trying to think of a joke too but nothing’s cumming to mind. I try to think of a pun but as soon as I get it it just flies from my head.

  150. #150 SC
    December 4, 2008

    How am I meant to get anything meaningful done here,people?

    I know what you mean…
    the cervix here is lousy.

    Gee, spot the complainers. :)

  151. #151 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Either way, I’ve got you licked.

    Why not both ways? Or would that in-vulva-ctivities that you’re hole-y against?

  152. #152 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    And now here’s Urethra Franklin for Toyota singing her new hit:
    “My Boyfriend’s New Priapus Never Let’s Me Down.”

  153. #153 thalarctos
    December 4, 2008

    But that wouldn’t be nice, now would it?

    Now, now, Margaret; there’s a vas deferens between those examples that you’re not taking into accunt.

  154. #154 mayhempix
    December 4, 2008

    Posted by: SC | December 4, 2008 9:57 PM
    “Gee, spot the complainers. :)

    I think you’ve put your finger directly on the problem at hand.

  155. #155 Steve
    December 4, 2008

    Just sent this to an Aussie friend. He wants PICTURES!!!

  156. #156 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    I try to think of a pun but as soon as I get it it just flies from my head.

    I have a mounting sensation that you just get shafted if uteri.

  157. #157 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    I tit-toe back in here to have a glans at what aureole up too, and I see plenty more bad buns, er puns. Comics, yer all cumming ungooed.

  158. #158 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Why not both ways? Or would that in-vulva-ctivities that you’re hole-y against?

    Not at all. I’ve always dug e-style.

  159. #159 k9_kaos
    December 4, 2008

    Sixteen men on a dead man’s breast,
    Yo ho ho, and a bottle of milk.

  160. #160 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Not at all. I’ve always dug e-style.

    Then, bi my count, we’re at level pegging.

  161. #161 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Now, now, Margaret; there’s a vas deferens between those examples that you’re not taking into accunt.

    Yeah. I know it’s hard, but margaret should stop trying to erect false equivalencies.

  162. #162 Nerd of Redhead
    December 4, 2008

    The Redhead and I used be into punning, but for the most part we dropped it over the years. I’m too out of practice to keep up with SC and Emmet.

  163. #163 Carlie
    December 4, 2008

    I have to say to Margaret that I’m one of the first people to pounce on sexist language and call others to task for it, but this thread is making me weep with laughter. The fact that a men’s magazine thought it would be a good promotion to hand out inflatable breasts is absurd, and if you want a serious discussion of such, try out this disembodied parts series. However, the fact that they are now bobbing about in the ocean is what makes it funny. Oh, and the puns. Puns are always good. But I suppose if you don’t like the breasts, there are a lot of other FSH in the sea.

  164. #164 clinteas
    December 4, 2008

    I’m too out of practice to keep up with SC and Emmet.

    Those two are on molly-worthy fire.

  165. #165 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Then, bi my count, we’re at level pegging.

    OK, you nailed me with that one.

  166. #166 SC
    December 4, 2008

    OK, you nailed me with that one.

    But if you think that’ll make me hold my tongue, you’ve got another thing…

  167. #167 Fernando Magyar
    December 4, 2008

    As a avid saltwater aquarist, who collects the ocasional specimen at sea, I can only show my appreciation for this post by saying, Tanks for the Mammaries, lot’s of them…

    Heh, so much for thinking I was being original, I googled that and found this link which is pretty funny in it’s own right. http://gothere.com/SanDiegoHystericalSociety/page55.htm

  168. #168 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    OK, you nailed me with that one.

    And it only took a few strokes… of luck.

  169. #169 Rey Fox
    December 4, 2008

    The president is on the line
    99 inflated boobs float by…

  170. #170 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Sigh. As anyone Kinsey, this thread has moved far from the titular subject, passed the Naval, and gone down from there.

  171. #171 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    I cunt stand all of this cocksure choking about what should be a privates matter. Cum on and get your heads out of this filthy twattle, act like erect members of society, and read something like Balzac.

    This is a sad testismonial to the decline of a nation once engorged with pride, and whose social interactions were lubricated by the pure milk of politeness and rigid integrity. Once upon a time people might talk of their birds and their pussies, rather than mouthing off like seamen. I would like to head off such passages from between what should be their pure lips.

    I’d cream this message from the rooftops, if I thought it would penetrate the slits of your minds.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  172. #172 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    Of corset could get worse.

  173. #173 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    Sigh. As anyone Kinsey, this thread has moved far from the titular subject, passed the Naval, and gone down from there.

    Ovule only stay on topic, we won’t stray so much from a clitoral interpretation.

  174. #174 SC
    December 4, 2008

    I suspect Glen D has a punile implant.

  175. #175 Emmet Caulfield
    December 4, 2008

    SC,

    I don’t mean to blow you off, but I really need to go down and eat.

    See y’all anon.

  176. #176 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Ovule only stay on topic, we won’t stray so much from a clitoral interpretation.

    I think you’re the one who opened that box, Emmet. In the future, please beavery careful.

  177. #177 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    So Glen D. what you’re saying is that you are bound to that sort of highly elevated ejaculation? Really sir, getting all tied-up in the rafters is a rather risky position. Butt-er be careful.

  178. #178 SC
    December 4, 2008

    SC,

    I don’t mean to blow you off, but I really need to go down and eat.

    See y’all anon.

    Phew – thanks! I have so much work to do and was sucked in by this thread. It was fun, though. Good night, everyone!

  179. #179 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    I suspect Glen D has a punile implant.

    Don’t condom me, or I will rise up and explode with excitement.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  180. #180 Wowbagger
    December 4, 2008

    Well, I’m going to consult an atlas for a Map of Tasmania and see if there’s any indication that any of the rivers there terminate in a Felt Delta.

  181. #181 clinteas
    December 4, 2008

    NiNi,SC !!

  182. #182 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    I cunt-ent help butt notice SC that great behinds think alike. Careful!
    We’ll tit over it.

  183. #183 Patricia
    December 4, 2008

    I too must go night night. Tomorrow we load the truck for the last weekend of peddling snake oil and eggs to the godly hordes.

    Good night sweethearts. Ta-ta’s for now!

  184. #184 RickrOll
    December 4, 2008

    “I cun’t stand all o’ this cocksure choking about what should be a privates matter. Cum on and get yer heads out o’ this filthy twattle, act like erect members of society, and read something like Balzac.

    This is a sad testismonial to the decline of a nation once engorged with pride, and whose social interactions were lubricated by the pure milk of politeness and rigid integrity. Once upon a time people might talk of their birds and their pussies, rather than mouthing off like seamen. I wood like to head off such passages from between what should be their pure lips.

    I’d cream this message from the rooftops, if I thought it wood penetrate the slits of your minds.

    Glen D”

    —funniest with a scottish accent.

  185. #185 SC
    December 4, 2008

    Oh K-Y am I still reading this? Bodacious ta-tas to Patricia, clinteas, and all!

  186. #186 Glen Davidson
    December 4, 2008

    I hope I wasn’t too hard-on you, SC.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  187. #187 Owlmirror
    December 5, 2008

    I was idly wondering if it might be possible to find these inflatable wossnames online. I searched one popular shopping site with no success, and then suddenly realized, of course Amazon.com won’t have breasts!

  188. #188 Its Just Not True
    December 5, 2008

    Laugh all you want. I’m too busy despairing over sharing the planet with millions of men who buy magazines with “free inflatable breasts” promotions.

    Get real, there can’t be more than about 130,000 of them.

    Plus, look at the bright side, this accident may yet save some lives of men who fall overboard: sea breasts = instant dinghy.

  189. #189 clinteas
    December 5, 2008

    Shame on you all !
    There werent enough dick puns here at all,the poor Urology MD will have dispaired by now…..All this talk about g-spots and cervix(hey,whats the plural of that,cervices??),its just wrong !!
    My fav : beavery careful,that was a true stroke of genius..:-)

  190. #190 Sili
    December 5, 2008

    Owlmirror,

    *golfclap*

  191. #191 LisaJ
    December 5, 2008

    Soooo, now that’s it’s a new day and you sexual pun stars have had a chance to get some sleep, wanna get back to it here? I really need some more entertainment to get me through my comp. writing and journal club preparations today.

    Come on, don’t give us the shaft now, right when I have to thrust myself back into my work. I cunt do this alone.

  192. #192 Tom Foss
    December 5, 2008

    Woke up this morning
    Don’t believe what I saw
    Hundred thousand bosoms
    Washed up on the shore
    Guess I’m not alone in feeling alone
    Hundred thousand mammaries
    Landed on my home.

    Sending out for XXX
    Sending out for XXX…

  193. #193 LisaJ
    December 5, 2008

    Nice, thanks :) I enjoyed your song that you posted last night too, Tom – good work.

  194. #194 thalarctos
    December 5, 2008

    Where is wOOt?

    I miss wOOt, too. I hope he hasn’t left us.

    But I’m sure that epidid, ymis have had a good reason.

  195. #195 LisaJ
    December 5, 2008

    nice :) I was also wondering what happened to wOOt. Although hilarious, this thread didn’t seem quite right without him. Hmmm, cum to think of it, maybe he’s out searching for those 130,000 boobies in the water.

  196. #196 Art
    December 5, 2008

    130,000 breasts bobbing in the sea. Nothing unusual about that. A crowded summer day on the beach certainly has 65,000 women in the water.

    Of course with all those inflatable breasts we have to make concessions to the ass men out there. Say 65,000 of these:
    http://www.freepatentauction.com/patent?nb=3411

    Next year we can go all out and spring for the full-sized inflatable love dolls. Always good for a laugh. If Somali pirates lifted the shipment of breasts we will definitely need an armed escort for the life-sized dolls.

    Imagine that … there could be an actual shooting war started over inflatable love dolls.

    Unimaginable as it was just a few years ago after this administration anything goes. We could even make a virtue of it:
    We defend the rights of all free persons to traffic in facsimiles of all or parts of the human body.

    Leading to the great ‘Tits over Terran’ campaign where barrage balloons made up as mammaries are flown over the capital. If the authorities object we go to war to protect this vital human right.

    It is a strange world we live in.
    Just not strange enough, yet.

  197. #197 Tony Sidaway
    December 5, 2008

    Now I’m going to have to work out whether Olbermann or his researchers read Pharyngula, or PZ Myers cribs from Countdown.

  198. #198 Emmet Caulfield
    December 5, 2008

    I searched one popular shopping site with no success, and then suddenly realized, of course Amazon.com won’t have breasts!

    No, it just won’t have them in pairs.

  199. #199 RickrOll
    December 6, 2008

    “Of course with all those inflatable breasts we have to make concessions to the ass men out there. Say 65,000 of these”

    I love the Oblongs by the way! This actually sounds like a premise for an episode: they get free tickets to go on a cruise and they run into a large chipping container filled with these! OH the hilarity- especially if the crazy Bible lady is there. HA ha HA

  200. #200 Alan Kellogg
    December 8, 2008

    Observation

    You know you’ve overdone the cosmetic surgery when your boobs have a pressure gauge.

  201. #201 Sili
    December 9, 2008

    Speaing of songs: anyone care to spin a pun on “When the Boobs Come In”?

    Thou shalt have a …?

  202. #202 Mbee
    January 4, 2009

    Sorry I missed this on Dec 4 – 9. I must have been busy.
    I only looked it up to find out what a Molly was (I’m still new here)
    This was hilarious and just goes to show that the penis mightier than the sword.

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