…and this is a 
The skirmish over Christmas in Washington state just gets funnier every day.
Now someone wants to put up a Festivus pole in the capitol. That's hilarious enough, but it gets better.
The Westboro Baptist Church has demanded to be allowed to put up a sign that says, "Santa Claus will take you to Hell". I never thought I'd laugh at Fred Phelps and his gang of hateful loonies, but there you go.
We aren't done yet! Bill Donohue of the Catholic League has to butt in and bray, too.
Gov. Gregoire is responsible for this mess. Having first acceded to the requests of atheists to attack Christmas, she is now confronted with the likes of the Westboro Baptist Church, a viciously anti-American, anti-Catholic and anti-gay group. There is a way to deal with this situation in a manner that is legally acceptable and morally defensible, but neither the Washington governor, nor her lawyers, have figured it out.
I know, I know! How about keeping the government entirely secular, throwing all the Christmas kitsch out of the capitol, and admitting that government has no business promoting any religious beliefs at all? That would be my solution. I think it's clear by now that in a country with a crazy plurality of religious ideas, each one demanding equal recognition, the only fair decision is no recognition at all.
Unfortunately, Bully Donohue can't figure that out. His solution is some pointless shuffling of signage around to keep the atheists separate from the nativity scene.
Comments
Posted by: Donnie B. | December 11, 2008 9:33 PM
Gee, you'd think Donohue would be all for the WBC's attitude on gays.
Posted by: Another Lost Soul | December 11, 2008 9:35 PM
"...a viciously anti-American, anti-Catholic, and anti-gay group."
Umm...It's kinda ironic that Bill Donohue would add in that "anti-gay" part. I'd have thought he'd be all for that.
Posted by: Hank Fox | December 11, 2008 9:36 PM
Wait, Donohue cares that people are viciously anti-gay?
Posted by: Another Lost Soul | December 11, 2008 9:37 PM
It seems that you and I are on the same wavelength, Donnie B. ^_^
Posted by: Hank Fox | December 11, 2008 9:38 PM
Is there an echo echo echo in here here here?
Posted by: blueelm | December 11, 2008 9:39 PM
I think it would be funny to put up a sign with Madison's quote, "practical distinction between Religion and Civil Government is essential to the purity of both."
Posted by: Another Lost Soul | December 11, 2008 9:41 PM
I actually think that the song that goes with the "Santa Claus will take you to Hell" sign is pretty damn funny. You should click on the link that PZ provided if you're looking for laughs, heh.
Posted by: alex | December 11, 2008 9:42 PM
to be fair, WBC is pretty much anti-anything. Donohue just focused on two antis that rile him up and then one extra anti to distract away from his own rightwingery.
Posted by: Ann | December 11, 2008 9:43 PM
I never thought I'd be glad for the appearance of Fred Phelps in this ridiculous kerfuffle, but I have high hopes that this will push the entire issue towards reason and secularism in our government buildings.
Posted by: I am so wise | December 11, 2008 9:43 PM
" There is a way to deal with this situation in a manner that is legally acceptable and morally defensible"
Then tell us Bill.
Posted by: Eshto | December 11, 2008 9:44 PM
"Westboro Baptist Church, a viciously anti-American, anti-Catholic and anti-gay group"
As opposed to Donohue's own viciously anti-American, anti-gay, anti-every-other-religion-other-than-Catholicism group?
Posted by: Kel | December 11, 2008 9:46 PM
Case in point of exactly why the state shouldn't deal in religion.
Posted by: chancelikely | December 11, 2008 9:46 PM
What, no Saturnalia? Sol Invictus? Bogartmas? Castanedamas?
And now I want to see a sign up saying "Happy War On Christmas, From All Of Us At Fox News"
Posted by: Twin-Skies | December 11, 2008 9:46 PM
With the kind of stance US Catholics has shown against gays, I'm surprised that Donohue decided to speak out against WBC.
Still, why not let WBC post their sign too? It'll have the shock effect that's needed to convince the people.
Posted by: uknesvuinng | December 11, 2008 9:47 PM
I'm currently trying to talk one friend in that area into offering a Hogswatch display. If Washington state is going to be inclusive, it seems only fair.
Posted by: Another Lost Soul | December 11, 2008 9:48 PM
A quote from the page PZ provided covering the Santa sign:
"The state is also reviewing requests for a display depicting "The Spaghetti Monster," a fictional figure often cited in philosophical debates about the existence of God..."
WIN!!!
Posted by: ryanm | December 11, 2008 9:48 PM
"Santa Claus will take you to Hell."
I never thought I'd want a t-shirt with a WBC slogan on it, but I'm ordering one ASAP.
Posted by: druidbros | December 11, 2008 9:49 PM
Oh this is Hi-larious. I hope all different gruops try and put something up. The more the better then they will kick everything out and just have nothing there. You cant make this stuff up.
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 11, 2008 9:50 PM
Seriously, a gay activism group has to contact Donohue with an open letter inviting him and the Catholic League to unite and join forces with them to combat the Westboro people because of their 'shared interests'.
No doubt I'd be able to sense the resulting apoplexy here in Australia.
Posted by: John C. Randolph | December 11, 2008 9:50 PM
Fred Phelps knows all about hell. He lives in it with his family.
Those poor kids.
-jcr
Posted by: Feynmaniac | December 11, 2008 9:51 PM
Considering it's the Westboro Baptist Church "Santa Claus will take you to Hell" is actually kinda tame. You'd expect something like "Christmas is for faggots" or "Santa is a vampire".
Posted by: BobC | December 11, 2008 9:52 PM
It should be obvious to everyone except Christian theocrats this ridiculous religious conflict is why our wall of separation must be respected. The theocrats don't understand, but these same people believe a fairy created creatures out of nothing, so I'm not surprised.
Posted by: Rick R | December 11, 2008 9:52 PM
This is awesome! Here's hoping the kerfluffle keeps getting stupider and louder to the point where the Gov. ends up chucking the whole ridiculous lot of symbols out onto the sidewalk and the country finally gets the fucking message.
Posted by: IST | December 11, 2008 9:55 PM
If I didn't know better, I'd suspect the Phelps was a satire... by all means it should be allowed if the governor doesn't decide to just dump the whole mess and disallow it all. In fact, it might be good for Christians to see that message prominently displayed, with equal sized lettering for the sponsor.
Posted by: Skepticat | December 11, 2008 9:55 PM
I want to put up a Cheezburgr display for Ceiling Cat! I can haz dizplay!
Posted by: andyo | December 11, 2008 9:56 PM
Festivus for the rest of us!
This is just amazing. Great change in tactics, instead of complaining, inundate government with other ridiculous crap. Who can tell which one of those is purposely ridiculous anyway? I suspect the governor is laughing her ass off.
Posted by: Brock | December 11, 2008 10:00 PM
The Satanists, Cult of Cthulhu folks, and the Discordians need to jump on this decorating thing before they take it away. The capitol sure would look good with goat heads, octopi, evil runes, and... whatever tinsel covered feces the Discordians come up with.
Posted by: Sastra | December 11, 2008 10:00 PM
If people in Washington State don't like the sign from the Westboro Baptist Church, they at least have the option of turning towards the FFRF's rebuttal, and gaining some welcome relief and a more positive outlook. All of a sudden, that last sentence about "hardening hearts and enslaving minds" doesn't look so off-the-wall, does it?
Posted by: Feynmaniac | December 11, 2008 10:03 PM
I still say having a holy war at the capitol with every religion using their display as a weapon would be the best solution.
(For those lacking humour this isn't meant to be taken literally)
Posted by: Ron Sullivan | December 11, 2008 10:04 PM
I suppose countering Phelps with a sign saying "There IS no Santa Claus!" would be beyond the pale.
Posted by: cpsmith | December 11, 2008 10:04 PM
This has made my week. I wish I could go see this beautiful spectacle. I know most people here are in favour of being rid of all the religious tomfoolery, but I kind of like it. It is absolutely rediculous, but perhaps that is a good thing. I think people aught to see symbols of their belief set up next to everyone elses. It might give them a little perspective. And for the rest of us it is just entertainment to brighten our day.
Posted by: negentropyeater | December 11, 2008 10:05 PM
That's been the law in France since 1905. The state cannot recognize religion. Simple. That's the only way to separate church and state that works. The rest is wishful thinking.
Maybe it's time to revise the establishment clause of the 1st ammendment which is so evidently open to mal interpretation and confusion, it hurts.
The state cannot respect the establisment of religion is wishy washy and in practice means the state respects whatever religion is already established. On the other hand if the state can't recognize religion, that's a clear wall of separation,in practice it means the state is in control, and not the other way round.
Posted by: Jadehawk | December 11, 2008 10:06 PM
awesome. this is EXACTLY the way to fight this kind of insanity. inundate them with display requests until you can't walk through the lobby anymore because of too much crap stuffed into it
that, plus I want to see a gigantic display of Cernunnos. THAT will give the Christians apoplexy :-p
Posted by: natural cynic | December 11, 2008 10:10 PM
The lesson is: If you children can't play nice, recess is over
Posted by: Jason A. | December 11, 2008 10:10 PM
Heh, they try so hard to wedge their religion in, then they're shocked when other religions take advantage of the opportunity they've created. The horror!
And somehow, they still don't get that 'separation of church and state' is as beneficial to them as it is to us atheists.
Posted by: Another Lost Soul | December 11, 2008 10:10 PM
I'm hoping for a display for THIS God (copied & pasted from www.godchecker.com)
MIN: God of Lettuce and Sex.
This fertility God is a very popular phallic deity. He is mostly depicted as a stick man -- with one of the sticks sticking out somewhat crudely. Taking part in a sexy threesome with QADESH and RESHEP, he has a plumed headdress and in his right hand he holds a whip. Best not to ask why.
There's more to lettuce than you might think. It was regarded as a powerful aphrodisiac -- huge bunches of lettuce leaves were eaten in MIN's honor in the hope that increased stamina would result.
Posted by: Epikt | December 11, 2008 10:12 PM
Have we discovered some kind of fundamental sociological principle in action here? The closer two crackpot religious groups become in dogma and worldview, the more they detest each other.
Posted by: Twin-Skies | December 11, 2008 10:16 PM
@Feynmaniac #29
LOL, then they can charge visitors for viewing this spectacle.
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 11, 2008 10:17 PM
STOP KILLING BABY JESUS!
Posted by: Scott from Oregon | December 11, 2008 10:18 PM
There were some very thoughtful reasons for keeping government out of stuff written in the Constitution.
Too bad even secularists are prone to picking and choosing what suits them...
The mind boggles...
Posted by: Randy | December 11, 2008 10:23 PM
All this bickering is making Robot Santa (Futurama) very angry.
Posted by: Brain Hertz | December 11, 2008 10:25 PM
Does it involve blocking the speech of everybody except Bill Donohue's sect of Christians?
Posted by: Brownian, OM | December 11, 2008 10:27 PM
That's a pretty common pattern in human group behaviour, generally.
From the article:
Absolutely it'll do good; it's already demonstrating the foolishness of mingling church and state, and if allowed to escalate it'll might drive home the point to the moderates that religion in the West isn't this harmless little indulgence that's nothing like the religion of those crazy extremists elsewhere.
At the very least, it seems pretty telling evidence that those 80% of Americans who believe in God the fundies are always throwing at us might not be so harmoniously unified after all.
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 11, 2008 10:28 PM
SfO wrote:
You say that so often it's lost what little meaning it had.
Posted by: Eyeoffaith | December 11, 2008 10:28 PM
Go the Pastafarians!!!! Get the FSM into the display.
So....what is the Pastafarian Festival at this time of year called??? Spaghetalia??? Ramendum???? Lasagnemass???
Posted by: Sir Craig | December 11, 2008 10:29 PM
Scott from Oregon:
Please to enlighten us with an example or link (re: "secularists picking and chosing what suits them" claim), ASAP.
Now would be nice...
Posted by: bad Jim | December 11, 2008 10:31 PM
Feynmaniac's revelation that Santa is a vampire really explains a lot.
Posted by: John Pieret | December 11, 2008 10:31 PM
Uh, Billy Boy, the reason the St. Patty's Day Parade got away with banning gays is because it isn't run by a government. Once governments open up a public forum on their property it has only limited power to set conditions on time, place and manner, mostly to do with maintaining public order, not to do with content. It can't shunt religions it doesn't like into a First Amendment ghetto, no matter how much you'd like it to.
Posted by: abb3w | December 11, 2008 10:33 PM
Can we have an Asherah pole? It's a little out of season, but who cares; YHWH ought to get reminded of his ex-wife at the annual reminder of his fling with the Jewish chickie....
Posted by: Richard from Red Deer | December 11, 2008 10:34 PM
I wonder how long it is before Mr Phelps descends upon 450 Seventh Avenue New York and protests Mr Donohue. I would pay to see the ensuing festival of Christian love that would doubtless be displayed for the enjoyment of all.
Posted by: Brian's A Wild Downer | December 11, 2008 10:34 PM
Once again i find myself in agreement with Fred Phelps. We agree on most things i think. Except the god thing.
Posted by: SC, OM | December 11, 2008 10:36 PM
We're turning this carpitol around at the next rest area!
Posted by: Lsuoma | December 11, 2008 10:39 PM
Randy@41
Don't forget what Chanukah Zombie tells us:
"Talmud says 'Be slow to anger!'"
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 11, 2008 10:40 PM
http://www.godhatesfags.com/
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Posted by: Another Lost Soul | December 11, 2008 10:41 PM
eyeoffaith, #45, said:
"So....what is the Pastafarian Festival at this time of year called??? Spaghetalia??? Ramendum???? Lasagnemass???"
Names are irrelevant, so long as we all praise the Virgin Marinara. ^_^
Posted by: Sir Craig | December 11, 2008 10:43 PM
I'm so hoping "GodIsLove" is a very poor attempt at a Poe...
Posted by: John C. Randolph | December 11, 2008 10:44 PM
Maybe it's time to revise the establishment clause of the 1st ammendment which is so evidently open to mal interpretation and confusion, it hurts.
The establishment clause is perfectly clear. Like most of the constitution, the problem isn't the language of the document, it's the desire of politicians to pretend that it doesn't mean what it says.
-jcr
Posted by: LisaJ | December 11, 2008 10:46 PM
ha! That made me laugh out loud.
So, any Pharynguloids live in the area that can post a Squidmas display for us? This is getting really good, and I'd love to kinda sorta feel a part of it.
Posted by: Quidam | December 11, 2008 10:47 PM
The Invisible Pink Unicorn (PBUHPFA) has had a display up since November 1, but no one noticed.
Posted by: Erica | December 11, 2008 10:50 PM
OHMYGOSH a Festivus pole?! I wish I had known about this sooner so I could go see! ;-)
Posted by: kamaka | December 11, 2008 10:51 PM
OK, godislove, what's with that link??
Looks like a Poe, but it's got a Westboro copyright.
WTF?
Posted by: damnedyankee | December 11, 2008 10:54 PM
Fixed. And oddly appropriate, under the circumstances.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | December 11, 2008 10:55 PM
The prevailing wisdom is that he is a Poe, but I'm not so sure. He kinda reminds me of Max Verkat/Silver Fox in attitude when he was trying to "save us". He is also sticking around for a long time without revealing himself compared to a normal Poe.Posted by: Brownian, OM | December 11, 2008 10:55 PM
Poe or not, GodIsLove isn't interested in doing anything but yanking you.
Unfortunately, his hands are rough, his grip is all wrong, and he won't remove his rings.
Posted by: damnedyankee | December 11, 2008 10:58 PM
Nice try.
http://www.godhatesamerica.com
Posted by: Capital Dan | December 11, 2008 10:59 PM
Oooo... I'm going to put a sandal on the ground there with a sign saying "Behold! The one true religion --Courtesy of the Judean People's Front (not to be confused with the People's Front of Judea, The Front of Judean People, The Church of the Tin Vagabond, or those wild cats way out on Galactic Sector Twelve with their funny hats and mittens)."
Posted by: damnedyankee | December 11, 2008 11:01 PM
But... but... what about The Great Prophet Zarquon?
Posted by: kamaka | December 11, 2008 11:03 PM
"STOP KILLING BABY JESUS!"
I read Poe. Same with that Westboro link, the site is Poe, the Westboro copyright notwithstanding.
Am I wrong?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | December 11, 2008 11:05 PM
Sounds like PharynguXXXX.GIL, ready to show physical evidence for your imaginary deity yet? If you aren't, you are a fraud.
Time for a Squidmas tree for the display. Topped by the FSM of course.
Posted by: negentropyeater | December 11, 2008 11:05 PM
jcr,
That clear that the Supreme court had to devise a Lemon Test to decide on the constitutionality of the Government's actions, test which is itself so complex and subject to mal interpretation that the Supreme court decisions on related cases aren't even consistent.
Oh, but it's all very clear.
All the more reason to make it simpler and clearer.
Posted by: Rob | December 11, 2008 11:10 PM
You're wrong. They use that URL.
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | December 11, 2008 11:12 PM
What part of Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn don't these people understand?!
Posted by: damnedyankee | December 11, 2008 11:12 PM
I say we make up religions as we go and hit Washington State with applications for display. I, for one, do now declare myself Grand High Archbishop of the Ecstatic Cult of Charles Nelson Reilly. Sacred drunken orgies begin at eight o'clock sharp. Pipes will be provided upon request, but all parishoners must provide their own tobacco.
Posted by: Kel | December 11, 2008 11:15 PM
As a follower of the ways of the Jedi, I demand that Joseph be holding a light sabre in the nativity scene ;)
Posted by: Brownian, OM | December 11, 2008 11:19 PM
"STOP KILLING BABY JESUS!"
I'd like to, but he. just. won't. die!
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 11, 2008 11:20 PM
Kel: Leviticus 24
Posted by: damnedyankee | December 11, 2008 11:22 PM
Well, at least nobody yet has made any mention of Hast-
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | December 11, 2008 11:23 PM
GIL, you proved your god, so your alleged holy book is fiction. Time to stop your sinning, and post no more.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | December 11, 2008 11:25 PM
DOH! *headdesk* #78, GIL has not proved...
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 11, 2008 11:26 PM
Well, I began Scimormontology after all; I guess I'd better come up with a symbol so I can demand to have it used in a nativity display.
How about a picture of an eight-armed alien with seven wives and an e-meter? With a Santa hat for the festive season.
Posted by: Patricia, OM | December 11, 2008 11:26 PM
Brock @27 - We followers of the great Goddess of discord, strife and confusion do not cover feces in tinsel. We roll turds in glitter, and hurl them by the chamber pots full out of trebuchets.
My nominations for additions to the display, are statues of Priapus, and Isis in the Baubo gesture. Ancient porn for the win! (Excellent suggestion of Min by the way.)
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 11, 2008 11:29 PM
Nerd: You know God exists. I can tell by what you write.
That hole in your heart should be filled with God instead of hate and bile. You hide your ignorance behind "prove it" as if God will consider that to be a legit exuse.
U want proof of God??? Get on your knees, BELIEVE, PRAY and sincerely REPENT and that will prove to you GOD is REAL and CHANGES LIVES
Posted by: BMS | December 11, 2008 11:30 PM
Eyeoffaith asked:
Pastamas, of course.
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 11, 2008 11:31 PM
Because, being sensible, we know they can't be polished - we leave that to theologians and biblical apologists...
Posted by: kamaka | December 11, 2008 11:31 PM
"You're wrong. They use that URL."
godhatesfags...I'm feeling really naive right now...I visited that site and thought it was a Poe. I went back and checked again, they mean business! So godislove is "sincere"!
Yeesh.
Posted by: Owlmirror | December 11, 2008 11:33 PM
Did someone say "a gigantic display of Cernunnos"?
(NSFW. Really, I meant it. Contains crudity, nudity, lewdity, and rudity.1 You Have Been Warned.)
_____________________
1. I don't care if rudity is not a word. Don't restrict my free speech!2
2. Oh, wait. I just looked it up, and it is too a word. So there!
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | December 11, 2008 11:33 PM
Er, the Mythbusters proved otherwise. Certain shit can be shined by reflectance criteria.Posted by: logoseph | December 11, 2008 11:35 PM
@84:
Actually, leave it to the Mythbusters. They did it-WITH SCIENCE! No explosions, though.
Also, I propose a giant Darwin fish statue to join the merriment.
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution | December 11, 2008 11:37 PM
GodIsLove
Enough already. You are a troll. You are not attempting to offer anything to the discussion, you are not adding anything of value, you are not attempting to engage in conversation or debate.
You are guilty of godbotting, insipidity, and trolling, and I am hereby relegating you to my killfile, and I sincerely hope that soon you will be disemvoweled and tossed into the dungeon where you belong.
Fuck off.
Posted by: kamaka | December 11, 2008 11:37 PM
"Nerd: You know God exists. I can tell by what you write.
That hole in your heart should be filled with God instead of hate and bile. You hide your ignorance behind "prove it" as if God will consider that to be a legit exuse.
U want proof of God??? Get on your knees, BELIEVE, PRAY and sincerely REPENT and that will prove to you GOD is REAL and CHANGES LIVES"
Really, are you serious here? You don't actually think like this, do you?
Posted by: Patricia | December 11, 2008 11:38 PM
GodIsLove - You nasty bastard! Don't you dare wish Leviticus 24 on Kel, or anyone else on this blog.
Show me your god. I challenge you.
Posted by: logoseph | December 11, 2008 11:38 PM
The Echo is strong in this thread. The lag was me doing a quick search to try to find an actual giant Darwin fish statue. Unfortunately, no one has made one yet. Come on, I know there's some atheist sculptor out there that could make it a thing of beauty.
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 11, 2008 11:42 PM
That's a shame; it's one of my favourite ways of denigrating pro-religious arguments - and I'm far too pedantic to ignore the facts. I obviously missed the Mythbusters special on turd-polishing. Or maybe it hasn't aired in Australia yet.
Posted by: Kel | December 11, 2008 11:42 PM
I take it Leviticus 24 is one of those chapters where God shows how loving he really is?
Posted by: Loki | December 11, 2008 11:43 PM
GodIsLove: You know penis exists. I can tell by what you write.
That hole in your bottom should be filled with penis instead of hate and bile. You hide your ignorance behind "Leviticus 24" as if penis will consider that to be a legit exuse.
U want proof of penis??? Get on your knees, BELIEVE, SPREAD THOSE CHEEKS and sincerely REPENT and that will prove to you PENIS is REAL and CHANGES LIVES
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | December 11, 2008 11:44 PM
GIL, until you show the physical evidence for your imaginary god I, and the other regulars here, will simply consider you as deluded as poor Peter Rooke. Which means we won't listen to you at all, or will just consider you the "well meaning fool", or, if you continue your idiocy, just a total fool. For the "well meaning fool" reference, Robert Heinlein Time Enough for Love. I'll let you search the text.
Posted by: co | December 11, 2008 11:44 PM
It could be because I enjoyed a bit more of a nice Merlot this evening than I should have, but at some point I just don't care if GiL is a Poe or not. Those links and the statements (the atrocious grammar, spelling, and the content) just go so far beyond anything that could be persuasive in the least that I can't even get worked up about it. Nice try!
Posted by: kamaka | December 11, 2008 11:46 PM
godislove, if you do think like this, you have been brainwashed by a cult. You are in deep trouble and need to extricate yourself from the people who are ruining your life. You are giving them all of your money, aren't you? Are the leaders of this cult demanding sex from you? Of course they are.
Run, godislove, run.
Posted by: logoseph | December 11, 2008 11:48 PM
Wowbagger:
Yeah, they tried a bunch of different animals' feces with various methods, then found out about Dorodango, Japanese dirt polishing. They baked their material down to powder, then used the techniques of that art form to make what looked like giant turd marbles. Quite impressive what they can come up with even when the answer isn't "make the explosion bigger."
Posted by: Kristin.jacobsen@mchsi.com | December 11, 2008 11:53 PM
stephen colbert just did 'the word' on this whole situation. amazing.
Posted by: Traffic Demon | December 11, 2008 11:54 PM
Eyeoffaith @45
From the words of the prophet Bobby Henderson:
"Holiday encompasses pretty much all of the big commercial holidays celebrated by the other religions. Holiday stretches over most of December and January, and it is interesting to consider how much of this Pastafarian religion has spread over the last couple of years. In fact, many schools and business refer not to the "Christmas season," but to the Pastafarian "Holiday season" instead. This is strong evidence of our rapid growth, and we feel that a special thanks should go out to Wal-Mart, who rejected the Christian phrase "Merry Christmas" in favor of the Pastafarian greeting "Happy Holidays." We appreciate your support.
--TDv3
Posted by: DAN HOWITT | December 11, 2008 11:57 PM
Great article,tkanksss! Dan Howitt.
Posted by: Sam | December 12, 2008 12:15 AM
Pfffft... The IPU (Invisible Pink Unicorn) display has been up before all of the rest of them. She is there in all of her invisible goodness.
May her holy hooves never be shod.
Posted by: inkadu | December 12, 2008 12:16 AM
uknesvuinng - thanks for mentioning hogswatch. it sounded familiar, so I looked it up, and now it turns out that the BBS adapted a Terry Pratchett novel for TV and nobody told me.
Thank goodness for the internets.
Posted by: Brain Hertz | December 12, 2008 12:16 AM
GodIsLove @ #76:
Isn't the provision in Leviticus 24:16 (I'm assuming that was what you were referencing) overturned by the provision in Hebrews 8:13?
That's what I constantly get told by other Christians as an explanation for such things as (just totally at random) why it is no longer necessary to regularly send goats into the wilderness (Leviticus 16:8-10).
Can you help here? Some clarity on the matter would be greatly appreciated.
Posted by: Patricia, OM | December 12, 2008 12:18 AM
Leviticus 24 is full of stoning.
I have actually let this idiot bastard make me mad. So I'll go tat about 20 rows furiously, and drink a quart of sangria.
Good night sweethearts!
Posted by: clinteas | December 12, 2008 12:18 AM
Let's see,Leviticus 24....
I knew that bible I pinched from my hotelroom couple months ago would come in handy sometime !
Oh,yawn,just another example of christian love then,good 'ol stoning....But he loves you !!
Posted by: Ragutis | December 12, 2008 12:19 AM
And the religious pissing contest begins! Hilarity ensues. That lobby is gonna up to the rafters in kitsch and superstitious bullshit.
And of course Bill Donohue had to weigh in. Because that's what Catholicism was lacking, it's very own Jerry Falwell. Pretty soon every denomination is going to want it's own fat, hate-filled blowhard.
Hmmm... that makes me wonder... someone should check Phelps for tapeworm.
Posted by: Rey Fox | December 12, 2008 12:19 AM
"U want proof of penis??? Get on your knees, BELIEVE, SPREAD THOSE CHEEKS and sincerely REPENT and that will prove to you PENIS is REAL and CHANGES LIVES"
"Um...I want cock too."
-Ennis 53:19
Posted by: Eyeoffaith | December 12, 2008 12:20 AM
Traffic Demon @ #101
Thanks for the clarification.
Though I did like the idea of Ramendum since having "dumb" at the end sums up how I feel about this time of year. :)
Posted by: Badger3k | December 12, 2008 12:24 AM
What really ironic is that the religious right and their pet lawyers got the state of Washington to have to put the displays up. They are sowing the seeds of their own actions. Just desserts, I say.
I did see the Pastafarian Nativity Display, with the pirates and all. That would look great in a display. I'd do it, but the neighborhood cats would probably eat the blessed savior (savor?). I'd love to see a Cthulhu display, though.
Posted by: Another Lost Soul | December 12, 2008 12:25 AM
@Ragutis #108
Oh, Phelps and tapeworms have much in common, my friend. They both will latch on to different parts of you for parasitic nourishment.
Though I'm assuming that Phelps does not share the tapeworms' preference of the bowels...
Posted by: Traffic Demon | December 12, 2008 12:27 AM
Eyeoffaith -
"Ramendan is analogous to the Islamic period of fasting, prayer, and charity known as Ramadan. Ramendan comes around the same time as Ramadan, and indeed the two holiday periods have their similarities. One of the major differences between the two, however, is that Pastafarians do not fast or pray, as doing so would conflict with their flimsy moral standards. Instead, Pastafarians spend a few days of the month eating only Ramen noodles and remembering back to their days as starving college students. This simple act teaches Pastafarians to be happy about what they've accomplished, and if they haven't accomplished anything yet, to at least be happy that they are Pastafarians. Ramendan is the least commercial of the Pastafarian holidays, which is saying a lot, since you aren't going to see a Pastover sale at Macy's any time soon. At the end of Ramendan, Pastafarians are encouraged to give their extra Ramen to those who are more needy.
RAmen
--El Traf
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 12, 2008 12:28 AM
Brain: The context of "new" means better, the old covenant wasn't overturned but improved. I still offer a burnt offering or two - even though I do not need to.
Posted by: Kel | December 12, 2008 12:33 AM
lol, that's pretty cool actually.Can we give a light sabre to the FSM?
Posted by: Owlmirror | December 12, 2008 12:36 AM
I think you can get away with a Jedi-Pastafarian syncretism.
"Strong the Sauce in this one is!"
"May the Sauce be with you."
Posted by: e | December 12, 2008 12:39 AM
Obviously I need to get me a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti monster. :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
Posted by: Eyeoffaith | December 12, 2008 12:41 AM
Oops. That was me above saying I need to get a copy of the Gospel.
Posted by: Flippertie | December 12, 2008 12:51 AM
Godislove fits the definition perfectly:
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole
Keep fighting the God fight!
Posted by: Brain Hertz | December 12, 2008 12:52 AM
Poe? Please?
Posted by: Charlie Foxtrot | December 12, 2008 1:09 AM
Well, yeah - I do that too.. except I call it "turning my back on the barbie for too long to get a cold one from the esky"Posted by: plasmid | December 12, 2008 1:17 AM
Hey where can I request a sign to display in the capitol? I want to put up a Haruhiist(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=haruhiism) sign.
Posted by: RickrOll | December 12, 2008 1:27 AM
On Sunday, Dec. 7: A demonstration by a group called "Private Citizens of Federal Way" against the atheistic sign will be held from 2 to 4 p.m. on the front steps.
I can't believe we didn't hear about this first!
Posted by: clinteas | December 12, 2008 1:35 AM
Slightly OT:
I notice Ed over at Dispatches has taken up the "I get email" meme.
The christofascists dont seem too picky as to who they write hatemail to,and all the goodies are there too,everything from "Marxist" to "Russia",and great spelling.Its a hoot...
Posted by: Jadehawk | December 12, 2008 2:03 AM
that's where I got the Idea, but I forgot what the site was named, so I didn't google for it... a ginormous reindeer with an even more ginormous stiffy would be a wonderful centerpiece for that mess in Olympia!
Posted by: Timothy | December 12, 2008 2:28 AM
Does anyone know what the proper channel is for arranging to have a display put up in the capital? I think it would be the perfect venue for my religious or non-religious beliefs that I shall make up and begin believing around 11 am tomorrow.
Posted by: Your Pre-emptively Smiting Overload | December 12, 2008 2:41 AM
DogisLove at 114;
So, you agree with stoning homosexuals to death, simply based upon their sleeping arrangements? What about homosexual penguins? Would you stone them to death too?
Maybe you take your children out to the edge of town when they are troublesome and put them to death? What about the unbeliever - are you the first to raise your hand?
If you answered "no" to any of these questions, you are a hypocrite, who doesn't even follow the tenets of your chosen religion - remember, updated, not overturned. If you answered "yes", then you are an evil swine, who desperately needs his children taken into care, and locked up for your own safety.
Posted by: bastion | December 12, 2008 2:53 AM
I'd like to get some of the female gods more recognition, and so, I'd like to add an image of Ixchel to the display.
I don't know exactly which image though.
Personally, I'm fond of a more traditional Mayan image, but an updated and slightly more revealing representation might give the religionuts more to fuss and scream about.
Posted by: bastion | December 12, 2008 2:57 AM
OK. I screwed up the links the first time I posted this. I think I've got it right now.
I'd like to get some of the female gods more recognition, and so, I'd like to add an image of Ixchel to the display.
I don't know exactly which image though.
Personally, I'm fond of a more traditional Mayan image, but an updated and slightly more revealing representation might give the religionuts more to fuss and scream about.
Posted by: Janine, Insulting Sinner | December 12, 2008 3:12 AM
I would welcome a cage match between the two gas bags. Freddy Vs Billy! But the question is this, what style of battle should be used? Should they yell at each other and the loser is the more with more spittle on their body or should they see who's venom is more poisonous?
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 12, 2008 3:16 AM
Your Pre-emptively Smiting Overload:
It is an abomination unto the LORD.
Animals can be homosexual - humans have intelligence and FREE WILL. I would love to be homosexual because it would be the ultimate test from God to resist my urges and devote my entire life to Him. Sex is the ultimate temptation the DEVIL uses to turn people away.
The law of the land in which I am in trumps any OPTIONAL command to stone my children or unbelievers. If I were in power I would institute BIBLICAL LAW as it was meant to be.
I am not an evil swine - you are the EVIL one as it says in the Bible. UNBELIEF is the WORST SIN EVER. You wouldn't KILL your father would you?
Posted by: John Morales | December 12, 2008 3:21 AM
Owlmirror @86, that was a great link. Shame it conked out at #21. I might try it again later.
Posted by: Loki | December 12, 2008 3:31 AM
GodIs"Love": You are evil, and filled with hate. You call love, hate and hate, love.
Biblical law is filled with hatred and bloodshed and cruelty.
Unbelief cannot possibly be the worst sin ever. In fact, unbelief must be the "best" sin ever: If God is real, then God cannot be harmed by humans not believing in him. Saying that it does implies that God is not real in the first place. Talking about "killing" your father is just stupid rubbish.
Since you don't believe God is real, it means that you are filled with hate for your fellow humans for no reason at all.
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 12, 2008 3:37 AM
Listen Loki, who are YOU to redefine that which GOD HIMSELF wrote? (through holy inspiration)
Logically you cannot be smarter than GOD
Logically you cannot be better than GOD
Logically you cannot be more good than GOD
Unbelief is ungratefulness. HE created you and you deny HIS existance!! What a slap in the face. You deny HIS sovereignty and live a life of SIN. You were born DEPRAVED and you will die DEPRAVED unless you repent your sins and make JESUS your personal SAVIOUR.
GOD is real!
Posted by: marginalia | December 12, 2008 3:37 AM
GIL:
I would love for you to be homosexual too. No, hang on, life is tough enough for teh gay folk.
Isn't there some passage in the Apocrypha that says we have to stone ABUSERS OF CAPSLOCK?
Posted by: John Morales | December 12, 2008 3:39 AM
re my #132, googling for it finds it in video form. I like it :)
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 12, 2008 3:39 AM
You know what I love? Seeing this on my screen:
Comment by GodIsLove blocked. [unkill][show comment]
I heart my killfile.
Posted by: Twin-Skies | December 12, 2008 3:42 AM
I have to ask, GIL: By your own reasoning, if God is so unfathomable, what makes YOU so certain that you're following that entity's will?
Posted by: Owlmirror | December 12, 2008 3:46 AM
The web archive behaves rather oddly. Sometimes it autocorrects, sometimes it doesn't.
Replace the date string (20051217094346) with an asterisk (*), and it will list all of the versions of the page it has. You can then choose another one, and you should be able to continue forward.
Posted by: clinteas | December 12, 2008 3:47 AM
Nice one,T-S....
But GIL is yet another braindead creo-zombie,there a dime a dozen around here.
No honest argument to be had with that ilk.
Posted by: God Is Love | December 12, 2008 3:47 AM
marginalia: No there isn't.
wowbagger: LOL I BEAT UR SYSTEM - REPEND NOW SINNER
Twin-Skies: Read the bible!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 12, 2008 3:56 AM
Comment by God Is Love blocked. [unkill][show comment]
It takes far more effort for you to type in new tags than it does for me to block them - dickhead.
Posted by: marginalia | December 12, 2008 3:56 AM
Y'know, as ridiculous as GIL is (troll or no) I find him much more entertaining than the usual Objectivist bores I find trolling round these parts. Objectivist-baiting is just too easy, and generally results in overly dry, verbose replies. GIL, however, is kinda funny. I really enjoy his enthusiastic approach to spelling, punctuation, and English in general.
Maybe King James should correct his posts.
Posted by: Twin-Skies | December 12, 2008 3:56 AM
@GIL
Which one? The New International, King James, and the New King James versions are just some of the many versions, each with their own differing translations and subtle interpretations of the passages.
Let's not even get into the diverging explanations given by anthropologists, historians, and theologists on how these writings should be interpreted.
Learn 2 spell n00b - it's /b/tards like you that give Christians like me a bad name.
Posted by: Loki | December 12, 2008 3:57 AM
GodIs"Love": You stupid, hate-filled moron, scripture wasn't written by God, it was written by hate-filled humans like you.
Don't talk rubbish about "ungratefulness" being a slap in God's face. The world is old and huge, and if God made it all, then God is older and huger still. A human can no more slap God in the face than a snail can slap the sun.
How can you believe in a God so small and petty that he would feel hurt by anything a human can do? I bet you really don't believe in a real God at all. You just call your seething hatred for everyone "God", and worship that, an idol in your own hate-filled image.
Posted by: God_Is_Love | December 12, 2008 4:00 AM
Wowbagger: How did you know what I said UNLESS I BEAT UR SYSTEM
Try putting GOD in your KILLFILE when he asks you why you did not listen to one of his MESSENGERS!!
Posted by: spondee | December 12, 2008 4:02 AM
Funny thing, Phelps showed up at my school to protest a lecture by Maya Angelo. My friend and I simply walked up to him, and told him we loved him. Words cannot descibe his profane diatribe.
So here we go,
GodisLove, even though you seem to truly believe that your fellow human beings actually deserve to die, I love you. And I love you because all human beings deserve love, without exception. I don't put my faith in an angry, invisible, judgemental diety. I put my faith in the notion every single individual human is essentially good. Pretty hard to pull off some days, but that is what makes it faith. I love you.
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 12, 2008 4:04 AM
Twin-Skies: Are you a FAG ENABLER?? Be careful otherwise you might end up in HELL too!
The one true church of GOD which has STAIED TRUE to the bible is http://www.godhatesfags.com/
Try to learn something before its too late!!!
Posted by: Twin-Skies | December 12, 2008 4:04 AM
@Loki
To take the argument further, if God was such an eternal, perfect, and all-powerful being as we are led to believe, how do we even know such an entity feels? Perfection implies having no change, and hence it's not possible when you're subject to time. When you're not subject time, how do you feel anything at all?
That was an old paradox brought up in theology classes by our priest. I never really had an answer for that, though it does help us realize just how skewed bible-thumpers can be when they pretend to interpret God's intent, eh?
Posted by: Wowbagger | December 12, 2008 4:07 AM
Comment by God_Is_Love blocked. [unkill][show comment]
Whee! This is sweet. Dance, moron, dance!
Posted by: Twin-Skies | December 12, 2008 4:07 AM
@GIL
By your crazy group's definition, Harvey Milk, Ozzy Osbourne, George Carlin, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Jacques Dupuis, and most of the other people I know would end up in hell too.
That doesn't sound too bad, lolz
Posted by: marginalia | December 12, 2008 4:10 AM
I'm deliberately trying to get into hell so I can meet Mark Twain. As he said, Hell's got the best conversation.
Posted by: echidna | December 12, 2008 4:14 AM
GiL,
How dare you be so dismissive toward Twin-skies? The people here are not ignorant, nor are they fools. If there was even the slightest scrap of evidence that God was real, then most here would be on bended knee. But THERE IS NO EVIDENCE. And imaginary friends are worse than useless.
To expand on TS's point: the bible is full of serious contradictions. NT: "Be perfect as your Father is perfect...Not one jot or iota of the law has passed away" and "The wages of sin is death" - which summarises Paul's argument that Jewish Law is to be discarded.
So how do you know what God's will is? Did Paul overthrow Jesus's teachings?
How do you know your religion is not corrupted? How do you know it ever was the real deal? How do you know that you have not been conned by a scheme designed to keep the masses under control?
Posted by: John Morales | December 12, 2008 4:20 AM
Owlmirror @139, that works. Thanks.
Posted by: Stevie_C | December 12, 2008 4:22 AM
Gotta be a joke, if gods is love then why would he hate anyone?
Posted by: scooter | December 12, 2008 4:22 AM
Politics, the Universe and everything.
http://acksisofevil.org/audio/inner205.mp3
or download from
http://acksisofevil.org/innerside.html
Rumproast.com bloggers, KevinK and Dr Strange grope current events with Scooter
Posted by: Christophe Thill | December 12, 2008 4:37 AM
Phelps vs. Donahue! I say, give each a knife and let them settle their disagreements. In a loving, Christian way, of course.
Now, as a worshipper of Bastet, I am shocked that the goddess is not properly honored at this time of Meowmas. The capitol must house a dozen of her children (yes, cats) in the best possible conditions. Otherwise, it's discrimination.
Posted by: bric | December 12, 2008 4:52 AM
Private Eye has a nice seasonal cartoon this week - Woman at door to husband: "There are non-overtly-Christian seasonal-song singers at the door . . ."
Posted by: MH | December 12, 2008 5:02 AM
When the theocrat wannabes put up religious displays in town halls, it's really just like dogs scent-marking their territory, isn't it. And dogs do indeed get angry when rivals try to claim the same place as their own.
Posted by: Lycosid | December 12, 2008 5:45 AM
MH, rarely have I read a more apt metaphor. Well put.
Posted by: Colonel Molerat | December 12, 2008 6:02 AM
And the devil has the best music!
Posted by: Colonel Molerat | December 12, 2008 6:05 AM
Damn, forgot how conversation moves along here.
Comment 161 was in response to post 152 by Marginalia...
Posted by: Colonel Molerat | December 12, 2008 6:12 AM
Damn, forgot how conversation moves along here.
Comment 161 was in response to post 152 by Marginalia...
Posted by: Jivlain | December 12, 2008 6:19 AM
Oooooh, poll crashing time!
http://www.billoreilly.com/
Posted by: R Soles | December 12, 2008 6:21 AM
Is there room for the Kwanzaa Bunny?
Posted by: Walton | December 12, 2008 6:23 AM
GodIsLove is a very, very obvious Poe, and I don't see why people are still responding to him. The joke's getting old.
Posted by: Kel | December 12, 2008 6:26 AM
We still respond to you Walton.
nah, really I think you're alright. I don't agree with you politically but you are willing to engage others and that deserves restecp
Posted by: RickrOll | December 12, 2008 6:27 AM
GodIsLove is a very, very obvious Poe, and I don't see why people are still responding to him. The joke's getting old.
Waaalton, is that a confession ;) lol. I was just recently outed too. Well sort of.
Except i was imitating a real person, complete with real postings and a generous smattering of overall Good Christian behavior. She should be thankful for my work.
Posted by: Walton | December 12, 2008 6:34 AM
Rickroll @ #168: No, GodIsLove is not me. (I'm not that talented an actor.) My attempt at a Poe was "Herbie McGonagall", under which name I made one post on another thread, but was quickly spotted as a parody.
Posted by: Kitty | December 12, 2008 6:35 AM
When the theocrat wannabes put up religious displays in town halls, it's really just like dogs scent-marking their territory, isn't it. And dogs do indeed get angry when rivals try to claim the same place as their own.
And when a dog gets angry and stands all stiff legged and makes that short warning bark his anus pulses with each bark - it's something to do with scent dispersal.
So next time you see a fundy getting irate just think of his arsehole pulsing! Gets a laugh in my family every time.
Posted by: Fernando Magyar | December 12, 2008 6:42 AM
GIL said:
Really?
Posted by: clinteas | December 12, 2008 7:02 AM
Now this is a rather interesting picture....pulsing anus...
I will have to think about how to make this into a kinky sex game,I reckon...:-)
Posted by: L.Minnik | December 12, 2008 7:21 AM
pastalia :)
Posted by: GunOfSod | December 12, 2008 7:55 AM
GodIsLove...
"The context of "new" means better, the old covenant wasn't overturned but improved. I still offer a burnt offering or two - even though I do not need to."
GodIsLove...
"Listen Loki, who are YOU to redefine that which GOD HIMSELF wrote?"
Head asplode!
Posted by: Matt7895 | December 12, 2008 7:55 AM
Funny how they call the FSM fictional but not the Nativity.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | December 12, 2008 8:03 AM
People
godislove is someone pretending to be a fundy dumbass.
Poe at it's worst.
Posted by: MH | December 12, 2008 8:20 AM
Lycosid #160 "MH, rarely have I read a more apt metaphor. Well put."
Thanks. I think it's also analogous to gang graffiti. Basically primitive tribalism, stimulated by the ignorance/unfamiliarity of other people, which leads to insecurity, fear and aggressiveness.
Posted by: Mikael HafO | December 12, 2008 8:25 AM
"Santa Claus will take you to Hell" goes perfectly with "Santa Claus is coming to town" (or Kenny Novak's "Santa Claus is gunning you down"). I've been humming that all morning here :)
Posted by: Raiko | December 12, 2008 8:28 AM
This all just makes me sad.
I would absolutely love to see a naitivity scene with a smiling buddah next to it and a big, godless "Have a happy season!" next to it, and whatever else anyone wants to put up - the FSM, some Hindu god(s)... whatever floats your boat. Put it all up, cramp it in anywhere in this world, public of private. I'd find it cute. The more multi-cultural and multi-religious, the better. And don't forget a statue of Oliver Twist!
What I don't find cute, from no side whatsoever, is this mud-war on the holidays. I have great memories of this season, of Christmas celebrations as a festival that celebrates love and family, a traditional season with a cute fairy tale about a baby attached to it. All I want is a happy Christmas with my girlfriend and the people I love - in peace and without a bitter taste attached to it.
It's apparently way too much to ask.
Posted by: clinteas | December 12, 2008 8:43 AM
Love and family?
To me,today,Christmas is a day to be with my ex and our kid,to have a meal,exchange some gifts,and for that im grateful.
The thing it used to be when I was younger,this whole blown-up make-belief family we love each other thing,we have no issues and lets cover each other in prezzies to cover the fact that the family is fucked crap,good riddance....
As to what signs to put up,I could so not care less,there should either be signs of each and every religious denomination,including the unbelievers,or none at all....
Posted by: chancelikely | December 12, 2008 8:44 AM
Raiko:
True, but the capitol building of any state is a damned silly place to do it.
Posted by: Steverino | December 12, 2008 9:00 AM
Donohue vs. Phelps - Battle of the Tards!!!
A match made in Hea.....or....wherever
Posted by: Juan Diego | December 12, 2008 9:06 AM
On this Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, please, Pharyngulans, science away all the supposed miracles associated with that event.
Posted by: dbe | December 12, 2008 9:10 AM
I'd suggest adding a dispaly to honor Nuggan, but I'm pretty sure such displays are An Abomination Unto Nuggan.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | December 12, 2008 9:13 AM
Hallucinations?
Lies?
Confusion?
Posted by: GodIsLove | December 12, 2008 9:26 AM
Hey Juan Diego - GOD hates CATHOLICS just look to what he did to them in 1755.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1755_Lisbon_earthquake
It happened on a FALSE catholic holiday - all saints day
Renounce your false beliefs and believe in JESUS instead of the pope!!!
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/most-awful/popes-cadaver-synod.php?page=1
Posted by: SC, OM | December 12, 2008 9:30 AM
I'll say it again - I love "science away" as a verb structure. Keep forgetting to use it.
Posted by: clinteas | December 12, 2008 9:33 AM
PZ,can the GIL troll/imposter be disposed of now,please?
Posted by: Graculus | December 12, 2008 9:36 AM
I beleive the Levitican injunction against homosexuality was over turned by Jeebus. Matthew 15:11
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | December 12, 2008 9:37 AM
If the fact that GIL just linked to somethingawful isn't proof of his its poedom, I don't know what else could be.
Posted by: negentropyeater | December 12, 2008 9:37 AM
It's always so amusing to see a protestant telling a catholic to renounce his false beliefs (or vice versa).
Well at least it's amusing when it stays in a blog, otherwise, history shows it hasn't been that amusing, as recently as in Northern Ireland and all the way till 1517.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | December 12, 2008 9:41 AM
snicker
Posted by: Andreas Johansson | December 12, 2008 9:42 AM
Has Heaven fallen on such hard times it employs third-rate Internet trolls as messengers? I guess the recession's hurting everyone.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | December 12, 2008 9:45 AM
I don't know if anyone covered this already but in the article about Fred Phelps' sign, this really pisses me off
Um no, the thing that started it was the nativity display.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip | December 12, 2008 9:45 AM
I'm trying to figure out why an omnipotent and omnipresent being even needs messengers. Reminds me of when my parents were fighting and would "relay" their insults through us kids even though they were in the same room as us.
Posted by: Lesserdevil | December 12, 2008 9:50 AM
"Prepare, my minions, for it is time we demanded a golden statue in my honor..." No, wait, that's the wrong speech. That's the one for having my idol erected. Here it is:
"Oh ye of much anti-Christmas sentiment, prepare for the second coming. It is at hand, and should you be left behind when the rapture comes, blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda..." You get the drift. You've all been very naughty.
Lesserdevil sin absolution tickets for sale, just $19.95. That's a bargain!
Posted by: AnthonyK | December 12, 2008 10:01 AM
God is love - what part of "we don't believe you, we don't believe in your, on any, god, and you are a hatefilled, stupid, deluded, psychotic fuck-up of a human being" do you not understand?
Either that, or you're a poe. In which case, you're a wanker. Sometimes false ignorance does my head in - there's more than enough real ignorance out there to suit me.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip | December 12, 2008 10:09 AM
GIL started boring me a long time ago, and I'm almost disturbingly easy to amuse.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead | December 12, 2008 10:16 AM
If GIL is a Poe, its time for him/her to stop. One day, maybe funny. Beyond that, obnoxious. Disemvowelment would be more amusing than his/her insipid posts.
Posted by: Orac | December 12, 2008 10:20 AM
Posted by: CrypticLife | December 12, 2008 10:29 AM
What, and ruin all the fun?
I don't know about all of you, but I think this is a terrific result. Everyone should have a chance to have their pet view heard. Walking through the capitol's going to be a MUCH better experience now. I desperately hope they've just decided they need to accept all applications for displays as long as they have space.
And I mean c'mon -- we all laughed at the "Santa Claus will take you to hell". It's an absurdity from pretty much every perspective except that of the WBC.
Posted by: CosmicTeapot | December 12, 2008 10:36 AM
Janine @130
A kissing contest. They can't get out of the ring until they have kissed. With tongues.
Posted by: Vic | December 12, 2008 10:59 AM
Yes! FTW!Posted by: Vic | December 12, 2008 11:03 AM
Are there churches out there that tell their congregation to "get out there and troll. That's how you'll spread the word of God", or do they just take it upon themselves to be major hemorrhoids on the net? They must be told to. I find it hard to believe that a Xtian would actually think for themselves.
Posted by: Robert W | December 12, 2008 11:31 AM
Where is the effigy celebrating His Holy Noodleyness the Flying Spaghetti Monster? He will be most displeased and will smite the capital building.
Posted by: ScottKnick | December 12, 2008 11:35 AM
I think the Westboro jingle is kinda catchy:
You'd better watch out
Get ready to cry,
You'd better go hide,
I'm telling you why 'cuz
Santa Claus will take you to hell.
[skip to the middle eight]
He is your favorite idol,
You worship at his feet,
But when you stand before your God
He won't help you take the heat.
So get this fact straight:
You're feeling God's hate,
Santa's to blame for the economy's fate,
Santa Claus will take you to hell
But it's missing a second verse, or we could actually set the thing to music! Anybody wanna help?
Posted by: FastLane | December 12, 2008 11:48 AM
I'm trying to think of the some appropriate objects to juggle and see how easily amused Naked Bunny with a whip really is....
Help me out here people.
Posted by: damnedyankee | December 12, 2008 11:52 AM
GiL's ramblings about the bible poses a question for me: Why is God such a bad writer? No narrative cohesion, hardly any character development to speak of, self-contradiction, preachiness, non sequitirs... Shakespeare could do better after a weeklong bender.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip | December 12, 2008 12:01 PM
@FastLane:
/me lies on his belly, chin resting in his paws, and contentedly watches your hands move as you decide to just pretend to juggle
Posted by: zaphod | December 12, 2008 12:28 PM
why is ZAPPADAN not given equal time? i am irate about this!
Posted by: StuV | December 12, 2008 12:36 PM
A little crude, perhaps, but how about this for the second verse?
So drop to your knees
Get ready to please
The jolly fat jerk
is jingling his keys
Santa Clause will take you to hell
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip | December 12, 2008 12:39 PM
@StuV #211: That's totally hawt.
Posted by: tsg | December 12, 2008 12:44 PM
How about a picture of the Duchess? We could curtsy to it as we walked by.
Posted by: StuV | December 12, 2008 12:48 PM
Oh Bunny, I just knew you'd like it.
Posted by: JimB | December 12, 2008 1:47 PM
Fastlane:
A cracker, a koran (cause i forgot the new spelling) and the god delusion. ???
Posted by: dwarf zebu | December 12, 2008 2:39 PM
Oh, CrypticLife @201, I am so with you! This IS the war on christmas and we're winning for a change!! I'm loving it!
I suppose that would include any sort of Hogswatch display or even a small votive whisk honoring the goddess Anoia?
Posted by: Calladus | December 12, 2008 2:41 PM
This all started when the Alliance Defense Fund sued the capitol in order to allow religious displays in the first place.
I'll expect Bill Donohue to take the ADF to task now for their responsibility for this mess. I'm sure he will call them a hateful organization that arranged the conditions to allow vicious attacks on Christmas.
Bill is sure to issue a statement any time now telling everyone about the ADF's mistake. I just want to know if Bill will call them stupid, or if he'll claim that they are also an evil organization bent on attacking Christmas.
Posted by: Venger | December 12, 2008 4:46 PM
Not sure of this has been posted, but here's a collection of Fox News morons in an outrage over this.
Fox News
Posted by: breadmaker | December 12, 2008 5:03 PM
LOKI:
when you say, "How can you believe in a God so small and petty that he would feel hurt by anything a human can do?,"
are you not denigrating your own feelings?
what if you are not as insignificant as you presuppose yourself to be?
Posted by: Ragutis | December 12, 2008 5:42 PM
Bill O'Reilly's head, a key lime pie and the Holy Prepuce.
I'd watch that.
Posted by: Jadehawk | December 12, 2008 6:51 PM
delusions of grandeur are not a valid argument for anything other than delusions of grandeur.in the context of the entire bloody universe, we're an insignificant mote. unless and until it's proven that the earth is the only life-bearing planet in the universe, you're making anthropocentric assumptions with no evidence to support them.
Posted by: Your Mighty Overload | December 13, 2008 1:45 AM
DogisLove at 131;
But the real question is WHY is it an abomination in the eyes of the lord? He made them gay, after all. He knew full well in advance (or he's not omniscient) that certain individuals would be gay. In fact, the evidence suggests that homosexuality is genetic, so if it is such an abomination, why did God give them gay genes in the first place?
As for not stoning your children or unbelievers to death, it sounds a lot like you are choosing to accept secular law over the word of your supposed God. I mean, I may not believe in him, but you actively betray him - you work against him. You refute his laws, his words, which YOU apparently believe he personally wrote down (your evidence for which is....?, btw) Or maybe you think his word doesn't apply when it doesn't suit your purposes. We have a word for that, you know - hypocrisy.
It's funny, at 134 you accuse Loki of redefining God's word, but it seems you are the only person doing that here.
Posted by: cicely | December 14, 2008 1:14 AM
GIL (if you are not a Poe, and if you haven't been dungeoned by now),
Upthread, you said that you wish that you were gay, so you could fight the temptation. If, as is frequently (usually?) the case with people who hate gay people because they are gay, you believe that being gay is a lifestyle choice rather than inherent, then you can be gay, just for wanting to be. Show some follow-through!
Posted by: P Smith | December 14, 2008 4:55 AM
Bill Donahue, the moron who still denies there are pedopriests?
Why is anyone listening to him anymore?
Posted by: Owlmirror | December 14, 2008 4:10 PM
breadmaker:
The questions make no sense.
It certainly sounds like you are some sort of believer. It logically follows if God exists and is eternal and infinite that finite humans can not in any way harm God, or "hurt God's feelings".
If you don't believe God is eternal and infinite, how limited do you think God is?
Posted by: Deiloh@yahoo.com | December 16, 2008 12:24 AM
I think the Wiccan community could come up with some beautiful pentagrams to paint semi-permanently on the floor space between the poster and scene. Or maybe a series of them dotting around all the other posters, polls, and signs.
Posted by: FreeThinker | December 23, 2008 1:41 PM
Hey GodIsLove - YOUR MYTHICAL "CHRISTIAN" GOD(S) hate(s) HUGUENOTS [CALVINISTS] - just look to what he did to them in 1572.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Bartholomew%27s_Day_massacre
It happened on a FALSE Lutheran feast day - St. Bartholomew's Day!
THEREFORE THE FAKE CHRISTIAN GOD DESPISES PROTESTANTS, particularly those who follow the theology of Luther or Calvin! (The Phelps nearly worship Calvin--"Institutes of the Christian Religion" is, de facto, their third testament, the fourth being their own WBC Epics).
Renounce your false beliefs and believe in the God of Deism instead of the nonsensical three-headed fictional
god(s) of Nicæne Christianity!!!
http://deism.com/
Actually, GODISLOVE, I couldn't care less what you believe. Ah, fundies...pushing forward the eventual extinction of the human race, one belief at a time...