Pharyngula

Vampires of Boston!

Administrators at Boston Latin prep school issued a notice that there were no — I repeat, no — vampires attending the school. Read the article, and apparently there was also a rumor of at least one werewolf running around.

They issued no disclaimer against the existence of decrepit old mummies or mindless zombies, however, which should be grounds for concern. They’re probably among the staff.

Comments

  1. #1 Blake Stacey
    March 30, 2009

    Of course there aren’t any vampires in Boston — we haven’t had Richard Dawkins come visit to “turn” anyone.

  2. #2 Nangleator
    March 30, 2009

    BRAINS!!

    Hmmm. No food here.

  3. #3 Quiet Desperation
    March 30, 2009

    there was also a rumor of at least one werewolf

    Ha! I call BS!

    Everyone knows werewolves move in packs!

    But seriously, my professional prognosis is a Hellmouth. Soon they will have the vampires, oops, I mean vampyres fighting the werewolves, and that generates zombies who open up a another front against the janitors, who are actually secret demons, and you just get an unholy mess. Literally.

    I might have Buffy’s number around here somewhere, although being more of an SF fan I might suggest nuking the site from orbit to be sure.

  4. #4 Glen Davidson
    March 30, 2009

    Yeah, but they wouldn’t really know, would they?

    Vampires disguise themselves, after all. You know, like the DesignerTM makes his designs look like they were the result of undirected evolution.

    Get some IDists over to Boston, and I’m sure they’ll detect something supernatural, albeit, probably not vampires.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/6mb592

  5. #5 MAJeff, OM
    March 30, 2009

    Cripes, Boston Latin has become fucking South Park episode

  6. #6 Richard Harris
    March 30, 2009

    There may be some ghosts in some crackers.

  7. #7 damnedyankee
    March 30, 2009

    Rumors of vampires and werewolves? And this is an “elite” school?

    At long last I become my father and pose the question: What the hell are they teaching kids these days?

  8. #8 Richard Harris
    March 30, 2009

    It’s not the vampires to watch out for, it’s the Boston drivers.

  9. #9 Colin
    March 30, 2009

    Well, craziness aside, it’s just Boston Latin School, no prep in the title. Thanks PZ. I won’t comment about zombies among the staff…they might still know where I live!

  10. #10 AmericanGodless
    March 30, 2009

    What about dwarfs, trolls, and gollums? Werewolf, of course; Angua would be an excellent student. But no vampires? Has Commander Sir Samuel Vimes been influencing the Arch-Chancellor with his prejudices against the life-challenged?

  11. #11 Jadehawk
    March 30, 2009

    who likes to dress in Goth-style, a vampirish look popularized by musician Marilyn Manson.

    I resent that. goth is older than that. pffft.

  12. #12 Michelle R
    March 30, 2009

    Of course there aren’t any. Vampires are very secretive creatures, per say?

    Burn burn hot topic.

  13. #13 SC, OM
    March 30, 2009

    Poor girl.

    ***

    I was shocked to see on our local news last week a preview of a coming story about the movie A Haunting in Connecticut during which they promised to “get both sides” about whether the house was in fact haunted. Sigh.

    ***

    Apropos of nothing, I love the Zevon song.

  14. #14 Kobra
    March 30, 2009

    Boston Latin prep school just suffered a critical spike in its SICK BURN meter.

  15. #15 Bone Oboe
    March 30, 2009

    Why would the were-wolf kid need to bring a gun?
    Just wait until it was his time of the month and wolf out.
    Of course that would result in an unpleasant mix of a Columbine situation and the Piccadilly Circus scene from “An American Werewolf In London.”

  16. #16 Screechy Monkey
    March 30, 2009

    Damn it, I wish Warren Zevon was still around. “Vampires of Boston” would be a nice “sequel” to “Werewolves of London.”

  17. #17 Quiet Desperation
    March 30, 2009

    it’s just Boston Latin School,

    Is that where Dan Quayle learned to speak Latin American?

    Wow! How’s that for an obscure and dated quip? I must be channeling Dennis Miller.

    What? He’s not dead? Oh.

    It’s not the vampires to watch out for, it’s the Boston drivers.

    I spent a couple months in the Boston area for work a few years ago. When I got back to Paradise- er, I mean, Southern California, several of my friends commented on how aggressive my driving had become. :-)

    I told them they were being silly and then pushed them out of the car at speed. Aggressive. Me? Pfft!

  18. Didn’t Warren Zevon sing a song about this?

  19. #19 Queue33
    March 30, 2009

    In defense of the kids at this school (and yes it is very elite) the announcement was not aimed at the students, but rather at parents who are prone to take every piece of information they hear and assume the worst to be true. Remember Pharm-parties or the stories of colored jelly bracelets signaling willingness to perform certain sexual acts?

    Lots of kids have been reading those awful twilight books and lots of parents just have no idea what is going on in their kids’ lives.

  20. #20 Kwok's Prestigious Principal
    March 30, 2009

    That’s nothing. John Kwok told me that his high school (and that of his esteemed classmates and prestigious fellow alumni) had three vampires, plus a werewolf and a celebrated memoirist who shall remain nameless.

  21. #21 Quiet Desperation
    March 30, 2009

    Why would the were-wolf kid need to bring a gun?

    Maybe he’s suicidal, and loaded with silver bullets? Besides, even with vaaahmpyyrez, a large, gaping chest wound will at least slow them down a bit.

  22. Oops. Apologies to SC, OM and Screechy Monkey. I posted before I read all the comments.

  23. #23 Sniper
    March 30, 2009

    Hmmm. I sense a coverup. Has anyone checked the Shrieking Shack?

  24. #24 PixelFish
    March 30, 2009

    Jadehawk: You and me both. I think he gets mentioned because parents know who he is and the shock value is greater. But it’s kinda like saying, “Punk, the look popularized by Avril Lavigne.”

  25. #25 a Vampire
    March 30, 2009

    Perfect. The plan is working.

  26. #26 Ernesto GarcÝa
    March 30, 2009

    Looks like their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher actually knows how to do his/her job.

  27. #27 PZ Myers
    March 30, 2009

    Don’t trust Blake and MAJeff! They live in the midst of the horror — they’ve probably already been turned!

  28. #28 Jadehawk
    March 30, 2009

    you’re probably right, pixelfish, but that doesn’t make it any less insulting. parents and the media seem to have very short memories :-p

  29. #29 Bart S
    March 30, 2009

    What about Dark Stanley? I hear he hangs around the school cafeteria, seeking to turn the children into stew, all because they taunt him for being 2 credits shy of a degree at MIT. I sure the administration puts that rumor to rest.

  30. #30 HenryFord
    March 30, 2009

    As humorous as this may appear at first, one girl is having spiteful stories spread about her and one lad has mentioned a gun because of what has been said about him. I fucking hate bullies, regardless of how funny it is from our ivory tower, detached from it as we are.

    One nasty little story turns into a rumour, turns into full blown gossip, turns into being the truth by group think. Next thing the headmaster has a bizzare situation where one child is being shunned by her peers due to malicious rumours. What are they supposed to do? Ignore it? That’ll help a couple of months later when the vampire kid has gone postal and everyone can’t understand why because she was “such a nice, quiet kid. Nobody thought she would do something like this.”

  31. #31 daveau
    March 30, 2009

    #s 11 & 24-

    The first thing I thought of too. Marilyn Manson, that upstart!

  32. #32 Carlie
    March 30, 2009

    What the hell are they teaching kids these days?

    That there is an invisible being in the sky who watches everything they do, knows every thought in their head, and will send them to a place of eternal torment with another imaginary being who loves to hurt people if they do not do everything the sky being says to and love him with all their hearts and souls and might but also be very afraid of his wrath and always ask themselves what he would do and tell him he’s great all the time.

  33. #33 Bone Oboe
    March 30, 2009

    Quiet Desperation said:

    Maybe he’s suicidal, and loaded with silver bullets? Besides, even with vaaahmpyyrez, a large, gaping chest wound will at least slow them down a bit.

    You don’t need a gaping chest wound to slow down a werewolf, just kick him in the crotch. ‘Cause if I remember “The Monster Squad” correctly “Wolfman’s got nards.”

    This thread has blown my afternoon, because naturally I’ll have to do a movie marathon.
    “American Werewolf in London” Check.
    “The Howling” Check.
    “Dog Soldiers” Check.
    “Bram Stoker’s Matrix…er…Dracula” Check.
    Perhaps a little “Brotherhood Of The Wolf.” and “Day of The Dead” to round it all out.

  34. #34 Michelle
    March 30, 2009

    The only question is… do they sparkle?

    And as the story concludes:
    “Then Buffy staked Edward. The End.”

  35. #35 'Tis Himself
    March 30, 2009

    There’s something to what HenryFord said in #30.

    It seems to me that one or more kids are being bullied. “You’re a vampire, so we should put a stake through your heart” sort of thing. I hope the faculty and administration are doing more than just saying “Nope, no vampires here.”

  36. #36 rowmyboat
    March 30, 2009

    Crimeny. That’s so ridiculous. That email should have read “…harassment of other students is unacceptable, blah, blah…” and never even mentioned vampires. Because, really, no one actually thinks there were vampires at the school; it was a case of a bunch of bullies using whatever they can think of the harass someone. Dumb on all parts.

  37. #37 Old Man Smithers
    March 30, 2009

    And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for you darned kids!

  38. #38 Eric Paulsen
    March 30, 2009

    Move over African penis stealing sorcerers – we got us some vampires, and we’ll raise you a werewolf! Maybe if these genius teens stab another kid through the heart with a wooden steak we will have finally made the transition from mildly retarded to full blown insane. Protect me from ghosts and boogens Jesus!

  39. #39 AnthonyK
    March 30, 2009

    Well where the heck are Boston’s young vampires supposed to go to school? It’s discrimination! And what about those children who aren’t vampires but need to drink human blood for medical reasons?

  40. #40 damnedyankee
    March 30, 2009

    “Then Buffy staked Edward. The End.”

    This.

  41. #41 CrypticLife
    March 30, 2009

    “One student who contacted the Globe said a male student, rumored to be a werewolf, had threatened on Facebook…”

    Ah, one of Kwok’s friends, no doubt.

  42. #42 Bone Oboe
    March 30, 2009

    Penis stealing sorcerers!?! I need to get a bike lock/chain for my junk now? The horror, the horror, the horror. I’d try “The CLUB” but A. I don’t think I could find one. And B. It’d be really hard to walk wearing one of those things.
    Now, how to wear a bike lock and chain to secure the genitals without looking too “Hot Topic”?

  43. #43 azqaz
    March 30, 2009

    Ooooooh. Ick. Pixelfish you almost made me throw up. Being an old punk from the time of The Ramones and The Clash I was horrified by that comparison. Couldn’t you have made your point in a nicer way.

    p.s. Noboby has done a better cover of the Spiderman theme than The Ramones. Nobody.

  44. #44 damnedyankee
    March 30, 2009

    @35, 36:

    But the article says that there was no bullying! The kids said so! I honest-to-gosh truly believe them too, because teenagers are generally so tolerant of nonconformity in school environments. Especially the popular teenagers, those curious scamps.

  45. #45 pete
    March 30, 2009

    Sounds long in the tooth to me

  46. #46 Holbach
    March 30, 2009

    It all smells of the UFO denial crap, cover-up and all. Of course there are vampires in the school, and some of the students have been abducted and incised of their blood. A whole new vampire conspiracy will now ensue. Morons.

  47. #47 Sili
    March 30, 2009

    Meh. Call me when tentacles come out of their lockers and snatch the occasional jock (do they have jocks in Boston?).

    It’s Twilightophilia, of course. Werther all over again – only more mormonic.

  48. #48 Cuttlefish, OM
    March 30, 2009

    Vampires, draped in capes of satin,
    Roam the halls of Boston Latin!
    Pay no heed to calls for quiet?
    Hell awaits; so go on?riot!
    Bring your garlic, wear your crosses,
    Try to cut your vampire losses,
    Better still, just stay at home
    Where monsters are afraid to roam.
    The school can use the room, to teach
    The ones whose brains aren?t out of reach.

  49. #49 Bone Oboe
    March 30, 2009

    *Applauds for the Cuttlefish.*

  50. #50 blf
    March 30, 2009

    What they should have done is confirm everyone at the school is a vampire, but indeed there is no werewolf. However, one of the vampires is also a banshee, three are monsters that live under the bed (but not to worry, they only eat dead rats), and there is a troll or two (but since there are no billygoats and the trolls use sunscreen, there isn’t any problem). Also, they maintain an active non-discrimination policty, and being human isn’t a disqualification, albeit for some reason, no intelligent humans have every applied.

  51. #51 JD
    March 30, 2009

    It’s that Mormon who wrote Twilight. It be her damn fault.

  52. #52 Vic
    March 30, 2009

    I saw a vampire with a Chinese menu in his hand
    walkin’ through the streets of Boston in the rain
    He was lookin for the place called Lee Ho Fooks, gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein’

    Aaahoo, vampires of Boston
    Aaahoo

  53. #53 Anon
    March 30, 2009

    [Mayor "Diamand Joe" Quimby voice]

    Well I saw Whitey Bulger out walking with the Mayor
    Doin the vampires of Boston
    I saw Whitey Bulger Jr. walking with the Mayor
    Doin the vampires of Boston
    I saw a vampire eating a bowl of chowdah at Legal Seafood
    And his hair was perfect.

    [/voice]

  54. #54 Cliff Hendroval
    March 30, 2009

    Anon @ 53 FTW!

  55. #55 T. Bruce McNeely
    March 30, 2009

    They may have the vampire problem beat, but what about cannibakism? After all, there was that problem in the British Armed Forces not so long ago…

    “There is no cannibalism in the British Navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.”
    - Sir John Cunningham

    “I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the most casualties in this area.”
    - Letter from Capt. B.J. Smethicke in a white wine sauce, with shallots, mushrooms, and garlic

  56. #56 PZ Myers
    March 30, 2009

    Yes, it is a bullying problem. There is also a problem with the response by the administration. Here are two possible announcements they could have made:

    a. There are no vampires at Boston Latin School.

    b. There are thuggish little cretins defaming fellow students by calling them vampires at Boston Latin School.

    I’d have gone with (b), myself. Puts the blame where it belongs.

  57. #57 Mena
    March 30, 2009

    My sister told me the other day that her boss was asking her if the rumors of their hotel being haunted are true. Sigh. And yes, my sister does believe they are. Double sigh.

  58. #58 MPM
    March 30, 2009

    The response by the school’s administration can only mean one thing– vampires have infiltrated the school’s administration.

  59. #59 Glen Davidson
    March 30, 2009

    Of course the real issue is being glossed over, which is that the school should be teaching the controversy, not pretending that there is none.

    It’s creeping evilutionism, I tell you. Once Darwinism was taught as science, pretty soon the vampires are being ignored–probably because there is no way that vampires could evolve.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/6mb592

  60. #60 green thumb
    March 30, 2009

    Maybe they’re reverse secret vampires that can come out in the daylight. Reverse secret vampires??!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!!

  61. #61 Crystal D.
    March 30, 2009

    My mum was reading Twilight and asked me, in all seriousness, if my fiance is a vampire. Wow…

  62. #62 Rick R
    March 30, 2009

    I knew it! “Angel” really IS a documentary!!

    Praise be the hunk.

  63. #63 withheld
    March 30, 2009

    Well, at least they aren’t in the faculty. The Undead can be a bitch to get rid of once they get tenure.

  64. #64 T_U_T
    March 30, 2009

    UN-holy shit ! Now, tell me on which side of the fence the lunatic asylum is. I thought it was the inner side. I am not that sure right now.

  65. #65 JHS
    March 30, 2009

    I bet the administration is regretting making the announcement, or at least the way they phrased it, after this article. Such nonsense at a place as hoity-toity as Boston Latin is sure to rile a few parents…and likely amuse pretty much everyone else.

  66. #66 Bone Oboe
    March 30, 2009

    @ Witheld:

    The Undead can be a bitch to get rid of…

    Sheriff from Night Of The Living Dead says: “Well, there’s no problem. If you have a gun, shoot ‘em in the head. That’s a sure way to kill ‘em. If you don’t, get yourself a club or a torch. Beat ‘em or burn ‘em. They go up pretty easy.”
    Or, Marge Simspon: “Dr. Hibbert, is there anything you can prescribe?”
    Dr. Hibbert, narrowly escaping Maggie Alien’s gnashing teeth: “Fire! And lots of it.

  67. #67 PixelFish
    March 30, 2009

    Azqaz @43: Sorry about that, but would you believe that I actually heard a reporter say pretty much just that about three or four years back. Seriously. Joey Ramone was spinning in his grave.

  68. #68 Chris
    March 30, 2009

    I just feel like making this point, even though its mostly irrelevant:

    “…who likes to dress in Goth-style, a vampirish look popularized by musician Marilyn Manson.”

    Let’s avoid details, but thats as blanket a statemet about a culture the writer doesn’t really understand as it is when creationists say anything to the effect of “Darwin created evolution.” Marilyn Manson is not the Jesus of goth. He’s just the only name people outside the know can think of. Nevermind that its over twenty years old now, and influenced a big part of mainstream popular culture.

    But whatever. And I’m not into “the Goth-style,” by the way.

  69. #69 DeadGuyKai
    March 30, 2009

    I saw a Vampire with a Chinese menu in his hand,
    Walkin’ the streets of Cambridge in the rain.
    He was lookin’ for a place called Mary Chung’s.
    Gonna get a big dish of Beef Chow Mein.

    —–

    Actually, I don’t think Mary’s serves beef chow mein. But then, neither did Lee Ho Fuc’s in Soho London when I was there last.

  70. #70 Cartman
    March 30, 2009

    RE: “Maybe they’re reverse secret vampires that can come out in the daylight.”

    Daywalkers. They are called Daywalkers.

    DAYWALKERS: Those with red hair who do not have freckles or light skin pigment. A Daywalker is immune to the effects of sunlight and thus able to operate during the day. Not to be confused with Gingers.

    GINGERS: Those with red hair, pale skin and freckles. Gingers have no souls. The condition, “gingervitis” is genetic and incurable. Gingers are the closest living relatives to vampires today.

  71. #71 Dr. Strangelove
    March 30, 2009

    1.Become Vampire Hunter
    2.Go to Boston
    3.Convince school to pay you to hunt their “vampires”
    4.???
    5.Profit

  72. #72 MAJeff, OM
    March 30, 2009

    1.Become Vampire Hunter
    2.Go to Boston
    3.Convince school to pay you to hunt their “vampires”
    4.???
    5.Profit

    Step 4 would be “become very good friends with the Speaker of the House, whoever that happens to be at the moment.”

  73. #73 SLW13
    March 30, 2009

    If Buffy is busy, we could send the Winchester brothers over there to check it out. Mostly because the student body would forget all about the evil undead and start squealing about the hot guys instead.

  74. #74 False Prophet
    March 30, 2009

    Those guys are giving the rest of us LARPers a bad name.

  75. #75 anthonzi
    March 30, 2009

    You should be more worried about the internet trolls living in your basement.

  76. #76 NewEnglandBob
    March 30, 2009

    Oh for ghoul’s sake, Dan Dennett scared off the vampires years ago. His ofice is 20 minutes away.

    Just look at the students there:

    http://www.tufts.edu

  77. #77 NewEnglandBob
    March 30, 2009

    Edit: typo: oFfice

    PZ, when is this thing gonna have an editing tool?

  78. #78 Carlie
    March 30, 2009

    PZ, when is this thing gonna have an editing tool?

    Good lord, hopefully never. It’s much too useful to be able to refer people back to their own earlier posts in which they contradict themselves, or say something entirely stupid. Don’t want anyone to be able to erase their tracks.

  79. #79 Fiisi
    March 30, 2009

    There might not be werewolves, but one never knows for sure about Witchy Wolves.

    From the Arenac Independent just last week:

    “The additional members of ETE and the paranormal team, Michigan Paranormal Encounters (MPE), which accompanied ETE last weekend, witnessed similar moments like this during the group?s mission to discover the truth about paranormal rumors regarding the Omer plains and the legend of the Witchy Wolf.”

    http://www.arenacindependent.com/detail/79004.html

  80. #80 Piltdown Man
    March 30, 2009

    PZ Myers @ 56:

    Yes, it is a bullying problem. There is also a problem with the response by the administration. Here are two possible announcements they could have made:
    a. There are no vampires at Boston Latin School.
    b. There are thuggish little cretins defaming fellow students by calling them vampires at Boston Latin School.
    I’d have gone with (b), myself. Puts the blame where it belongs.

    Why assume the bullying scenario is correct? Maybe it is a case of an unfortunate Goth-type being harassed for being ‘different’ (they do seem to get victimised a lot, savagely murdered by English chavs or devoured by Russian satanists) … then again, the pupils quoted in the news story didn’t seem to think there had been a bullying problem – including a senior “involved with the school’s antibullying campaign”.

    It’s just possible the girl or girls in question might have actually belonged to a blood-drinking cult. (Obviously a real vampire, if such creatures ever existed, would be far too conspicuous to infiltrate a school.)

  81. #81 Feynmaniac
    March 30, 2009

    I think some people have been watching too much Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

    Warning: Stay away from Season 7!

  82. #82 MAJeff, OM
    March 30, 2009

    It’s just possible the girl or girls in question might have actually belonged to a blood-drinking cult

    Christianity?

    “This is my blood. Take. Drink….”

  83. #83 Feynmaniac
    March 30, 2009

    Pilty,

    It’s just possible the girl or girls in question might have actually belonged to a blood-drinking cult

    Isn’t a demonic possession more logical?

  84. #84 Bruce Perry
    March 30, 2009

    Back in 1980, Lee Ho Fook’s did have Beef Chow Mein on the menu. I was traveling on a student budget and couldn’t afford it. Looks like I didn’t miss anything though:

    http://www.london-eating.co.uk/5175.htm

    It’s funny, but over her in Innsmouth, we never get bothered by werewolves or vampires.

  85. #85 Jeanette
    March 30, 2009

    At least the school administration recognized that it was a bullying problem and made some attempt to bring it out in the open, even if it was a little off the mark. This type of crap probably happens in just about any high school where kids even dare the slightest non-conformity.

    As to the possible existence of blood-drinking cults, drinking a significant amount of blood would cause potentially fatal iron poisoning.

  86. #86 Piltdown Man
    March 30, 2009

    Feynmaniac @ 83:

    It’s just possible the girl or girls in question might have actually belonged to a blood-drinking cult

    Isn’t a demonic possession more logical?

    Well they’re not mutually exclusive! But the “vampire” subculture appears to be a generally acknowledged phenomenon with no necessary praeternatural elements.

    MAJeff @ 82:

    Christianity?
    “This is my blood. Take. Drink….”

    Indeed – “The devil is the ape of God”.

    It would be fascinating to know if Bram Stoker’s description of Dracula opening a vein in his chest and forcing his female victim to drink the spurting blood was intended to be a diabolic parody of St Catherine of Siena’s account of her ‘mystical communion’, in which Jesus gently placed the saint’s mouth against the wound in His side …

  87. #87 Lilith
    March 30, 2009

    Feh! Everybody knows that vampires go to night school.

  88. #88 Bruce
    March 30, 2009

    Sounds like something blown way out of propertion because blowing things out of proportion sells ad-space.

    Keep in mind that the youngest students at BLS are what most schools call 7th grade. Lots of time for gullibility before they get rational.

    Increase and Cotton Mather went there, so teaching about witchcraft is a specialty – not!

  89. #89 Shirley
    March 30, 2009

    I can say with great authority there *is* a mummy at Naperville Central High School in Illinois. God only knows what else is lurking. It *is* Naperville, after all.

  90. #90 Jeff
    March 31, 2009

    Vampires don’t attend high school.

    Thats just fucking retarded.

  91. #91 PeterKarim
    March 31, 2009

    “[T]here were no ? I repeat, no ? vampires attending the school. Read the article, and apparently there was also a rumor of at least one werewolf running around.”

    What’s irrational about it ? You have your explanation in your own sentence: It is common knowledge that vampires avoid werewolves.
    :-)

  92. #92 Ken Cope
    March 31, 2009

    Vampires don’t attend high school.

    Oh yes they do. The trophy wife was a junior at a Modesto high school in 1980; we’re the ones who scanned and uploaded these courteously hosted pix from when Spike was a high school senior, which, at the time, made some younger fans sad. (What? they didn’t think vampires were older?) Howzabout that ‘fro?

  93. #93 MadScientist
    March 31, 2009

    Oh, there are no werewolves; that was just me licking myself in public.

  94. #94 Paul Lundgren
    March 31, 2009

    Since when does the city of Boston play host to spin-offs of Scooby Doo?

  95. #95 KI
    March 31, 2009

    Clueless dolts – Goth was started by Siouxsie and the Banshees, and made big by The Cure. Why are “reporters” allowed to get away with such ahistorical claptrap?

    My high school had a couple of vampire-wannabes, but they were definitely more Lugosian than Buffyist.

  96. #96 Desert Son
    March 31, 2009

    Sure, no vampires and werewolves at school, but how long before there are mummies at a nearby retirement home? Huh? HUH? Alert the media!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubba_Ho_Tep

    No kings,

    Robert

    P.S. Nice to see all the Zevon references. I miss Warren.

  97. #97 lytefoot
    March 31, 2009

    Marilyn Manson is not the Jesus of goth. He’s just the only name people outside the know can think of. Nevermind that its over twenty years old now, and influenced a big part of mainstream popular culture.

    Look, if you say “Marilyn Manson,” your audience will know what you’re talking about. The author’s goal is not to enlighten the audience about goth culture. John Q. Public is going to have an instant picture in his head if you say “Marilyn Manson,” but mentioning even the Cure is going to get you blank looks.

    OTOH, when we were goth kids in high school, we would have been delighted if anyone thought we were vampires. One likely scenario that presents itself is that the other kids were taunting this one for “thinking she’s a vampire,” and the administration (as usual) completely misunderstood what was going on and how to deal with it.

  98. #98 Prometevsberg
    March 31, 2009

    No vampires in Boston…
    but in Minnesota, on the other hand:
    Judge Refuses to Drop Charges Against Vampire King
    http://www.kimt.com/content/localnews/story/Judge-Refuses-to-Drop-Charges-Against-Vampire-King/gcteFkfuL0OF6RA8ftlUeg.cspx
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f9UgmXoXPQ

  99. #99 Carlie
    March 31, 2009

    Cartman@70,

    Gingers are the closest living relatives to vampires today.

    You mean like these gingers?

  100. #100 Alan Kellogg
    April 1, 2009

    Tangential to the Subject

    Eric Flint has a story in Ring of Fire II in which two major characters in the shared universe meet. One is the downtimer Janos Drugeth; a Hungarian noble, special agent for Frederick III of Austria, and grandson of Elizabeth Bathory. Yes, Lizzie of the sanguine lavations.

    The other is the uptimer Noell Stull (formerly Murphy), American trailer trash, special agent for Prime Minister Mike Stearns of the USE, and member of a decidedly odd clan.

    Long story short (But read The Austro-Hungarian Connection for yourself), the idjits with Noell convince themselves that because Janos is a grandson of Elizabeth Bathory, he must be a vampire.

    Yes, I do make the oddest of connections. :)

  101. #101 Julie Stahlhut
    April 2, 2009

    Damn, I’m disappointed. Wish there had been vampires at MY high school. It would have made those years a lot more interesting.

    But, then again, as I wondered aloud after my first viewing of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Whose high school isn’t a hellmouth?

  102. #102 SC, OM
    April 2, 2009

    P.S. Nice to see all the Zevon references. I miss Warren.

    I don’t think I can listen to “Keep Me in Your Heart” without crying. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

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