Pharyngula

Posted by: Treppenwitz | March 22, 2009 12:39 PM

I think I liked Attenborough's narration better.

Posted by: DocAmazing | March 22, 2009 12:44 PM

Pensees en penises...

Posted by: Squiddhartha | March 22, 2009 12:46 PM

<vader>Impressive!</vader>

Posted by: CortxVortx | March 22, 2009 12:56 PM

"It is at this point that they whip their dicks out."

This surpasses Monty Python's "The Whelk" skit. High-school biology class would be booked up if we had these kinds of lectures.

Posted by: Newfie | March 22, 2009 1:01 PM

Spineless Slimy Dick Heads

sounds like a few survivor contestants

Posted by: Rheinhard | March 22, 2009 1:16 PM

Hey c'mon guys, admit it -- you'd like to be able to get your penises to extend to half your body length too, wouldn't you? (Not to mention the ladies - size matters, right?)

Posted by: Ivence | March 22, 2009 1:18 PM

Nature documentarys should all be narrated thusly. Forget the boring old "drone drone drone." Nature is exciting, wonderous and plain fucking wierd and to wrap it up in false dignity cheapens nature itself and the sheer joy to be had from discovering.

Posted by: MAJeff, OM | March 22, 2009 1:23 PM

(Not to mention the ladies - size matters, right?)

Size may matter, but there's a certain point at which it turns into, "What, exactly, do you expect me to do with that?"

Posted by: Eric | March 22, 2009 1:27 PM

I want a prehensile cock.

Also, proof that ghey secks is natural.

Posted by: Darren Garrison | March 22, 2009 1:37 PM

I randomly ran across the sweet act of slug love one night, after rain, while carrying my camera:

http://s313.photobucket.com/albums/ll394/darrengarrison/slugs/

Posted by: Jim B | March 22, 2009 2:04 PM

Considering the messy co-mingling of their penises, when they retract are they guaranteed to get the sperm of only the other, or can they get their own? If so, is there some mechanism that prevents them from fertilizing their eggs with their own sperm? Or do they just live with this dark secret?

Posted by: Helioprogenus | March 22, 2009 2:05 PM

So what prevents a slug's own sperm to impregnate their own eggs if it gets transferred with the donor slugs sperm?

Posted by: Helioprogenus | March 22, 2009 2:07 PM

Sorry Jim B, I didn't see your post before practically asking the same question. You know, great minds......

Posted by: Big City | March 22, 2009 2:10 PM

So what prevents a slug's own sperm to impregnate their own eggs if it gets transferred with the donor slugs sperm?

Um... Jesus?

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | March 22, 2009 2:17 PM

Penis evolution (thanks, PZ Myers!)
Penis dimension* (thanks, Ken Cope!)

*The Fluorescent Leech + Eddie + FZ + orchestra = !!!!!!!
"The penis can be a very useful organ."
"And very exciting, too, once you get to know me!"

Posted by: Paulino | March 22, 2009 2:24 PM

Mollusks rock!

Posted by: Stephanurus | March 22, 2009 2:32 PM

There was a poster printed some years ago called "Penises of the Animal Kingdom". Anybody have a copy?
Stephanurus

Posted by: mus | March 22, 2009 2:49 PM

"Spineless Slimy Dick Heads" my ass, isn't the scientific name of these guys Limax maximus?

Posted by: J. D. | March 22, 2009 2:55 PM

I wonder how these slimy spineless dickheads plan to spend their AIG bonuses.

Posted by: articulett | March 22, 2009 3:08 PM

I've seen better...

Posted by: Muffin | March 22, 2009 3:16 PM

"Terrifying" and "beautiful" aren't mutually exclusive, but personally, I think these are neither. There's certainly animals with beautiful penises - wolves come to mind, for instance -, but leopard slugs just don't "do it" for me. :)

Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | March 22, 2009 3:35 PM

Dr Manhattan anyone?

what's more terrifying: a body-length, prehensile, penis coming out of your head; or a blue, radioactive penis...

Posted by: Beery Swine | March 22, 2009 3:48 PM

Maybe they oughtta be called Jupiter Slugs. Didn't Minerva come from his brain?

As for the title of this post, well, I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Posted by: tim Rowledge | March 22, 2009 4:05 PM

Well, PersonalFailure, in the case of my 9 year old nice (hmm, actually maybe coming on for 11 now I guess, time does fly) I think I'd sit back and let her explain it to me. She's the one that dissected a deceased chicken instead of letting it be disposed of, supervises the sheep tupping, takes an interest in pretty much all things scientific and will make an ... interesting.... partner for some lucky person when she gets older.

Posted by: LightningRose | March 22, 2009 4:18 PM

I call Rule 34.

http://xkcd.com/305/

Posted by: Alyson Miers | March 22, 2009 4:34 PM

Someone has a Visual Comparison Fetish, I see.

But I do agree; those are some gorgeous willies!

Posted by: Cafeeine | March 22, 2009 4:49 PM

There is a down side to this.
I'll never be able to use "Spineless Slimy Dick Head" as an insult any more, as it would seem more like flattery.

Posted by: octopod | March 22, 2009 5:06 PM

Hey, this isn't terrifying. What was terrifying was that morningstar penis on that beetle a couple of weeks ago! This is just pretty...

Posted by: Ichthyic | March 22, 2009 5:26 PM

ummm...

it's a BIG scan, so give it a sec to load up.

pun unintentional.

:P

Posted by: Dust | March 22, 2009 5:55 PM

Numad noted: Size provides good rules of thumb for knowing when to run away

Or when to point and laugh!

D'oh! That would be mean!

Posted by: Procyon | March 22, 2009 6:07 PM

'Mucosus invertebratus caputithyphallicus'?
I always thought it was Limax maximus.
Perhaps this mating ritual could serve as proof of intelligent design. I think the Discovery Institute should add this to their extensive experimental repertoire. I can see the headline: "Design dickheads prove dickheads designed"

Posted by: Margaret Morgan | March 22, 2009 6:22 PM

Nah, that's not a scary penis. If you want something truly horrifying, check out the penis of the bedbug (and a few other genera of bugs), which is effectively a sword. The male impregnates the female by piercing her side with his appendage by what is known as "traumatic insemination", and his sperm migrates to her genital tract. Repeated copulations damage the female through injury and infection, leading to her premature death. Thus she is less able to reproduce with other males, ensuring his sperm is more likely to achieve success.

In response, females have evolved a groove down the side of their exoskeletons to direct the penis to a particular reinforced region known as paragenitalia, where the penis will do less damage. There is evidence that increased protection against infection resides in this region.

This is a classic case of sexual conflict in evolution and indeed, the penises of such species evolve at quite a startling rate.

Posted by: Newfie | March 22, 2009 6:32 PM

"Design dickheads prove dickheads designed"

I lol'd, well done.

Posted by: Blind Squirrel FCD | March 22, 2009 6:38 PM

What tim Rowledge said at #48. No better time to teach about sex and its myriad variations as long as you can do so without acting uncomfortable about it. In fact 9 years is a little late, IMHO.

Posted by: Ichthyic | March 22, 2009 7:06 PM

Not to mention counterproductive, as you may just be contributing in pushing more people to inject silicone in inappropriate bodyparts!

hmm, I've always wanted one of those big-bulging foreheads...

Posted by: mayhempix | March 22, 2009 7:25 PM

I had no idea leopard slugs were Catholic.

But then again we all knew that Bill Donohue was a dickhead.

Posted by: MikeG | March 22, 2009 9:15 PM

I have little to say about the slugs. I just want to welcome MAJeff back!

The slug weenie bell thing would make an interesting rear-view mirror danglie. Especially when Grandma asks about it.

Posted by: Mena | March 22, 2009 9:46 PM

Apparently winter isn't the only thing that is too long in Canada...
(although I do blame the long winters for stuff like that video)

Posted by: Snail | March 22, 2009 10:26 PM

Speaking of elegant slug sex, this is a photo I took of red triangle slugs, Triboniophorus graefii, doing the humpy bumpy in our garden (north of Sydney, Australia).

I've got some SEM images of a Triboniophorus penis. (As one does). It's covered in what look like small spines. Hermaphroditic and into a little S & M.

Posted by: Scrabcake | March 22, 2009 10:28 PM

Hahaha. "Prehensile Body-length translucent white slug-cock". I'll have to remember that as an insult.

Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | March 22, 2009 10:45 PM

The hugs of slugs, the tricks of dicks,
Hermaphroditic bliss;
To climb, make slime, perchance to dance,
Much closer than a kiss.
Their bed, a thread that's slung or hung
From branch, or jutting rocks,
Where they display a gay ballet
Of intertwining cocks.
This sex may vex the prude, as rude,
Or deviant or odd;
To spin as sin, we know, would show
A very boring god!

Posted by: Greta Christina | March 23, 2009 1:30 AM

You know, when your penis is as big as you are, it really calls this question to mind: Is this a slug with a large penis, or is it a penis with a small slug?

Damn these deep philosophical questions. Now I'm going to be up all night.

Posted by: Ray Comforttttttttt | March 23, 2009 1:49 AM

Has this been forwarded to Ray Comfort?

So how did two hermaphrodite slugs evolve simultaneously ? Hmmmmm, yeah ,see? gotcha gotcha.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick!
So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trousers snake.
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons,
You can slip it in your sock.
Don't take it out in public,
Or they will put you in the dock ...
And you won't
come
back.

Posted by: les5f | March 23, 2009 8:38 AM

A dick like Myers surely knows a lot about this subject.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | March 23, 2009 9:44 AM

A Molly for the clever wit @#88.

Posted by: Rrr | March 23, 2009 10:41 AM

Wow, that was amazing and beautiful :-D

My niece walked over and said, "What are those things doing?!" and I had to pretend slugs make beautiful art for people to look at, because who wants to explain hermaphroditic slug sex to a 9 year old?

9? That's more than old enough. :-D I was lucky to have access to science books by a very young age so I was well aware of human and animal reproduction. Seeing something as awesome as this back then would have been neat. I have to encourage you to give your niece lots of books about science, space, biology etcetera. She'll thank you for it when she grows older.

Posted by: YetAnotherKevin | March 23, 2009 12:58 PM

Very nice, Cuttlefish!

Posted by: Longtime Lurker | March 23, 2009 1:37 PM

And to think, the homophobic patriarchal set invokes "Natural Law" as a pretext for gay-bashing...

Posted by: Sili | March 23, 2009 4:47 PM

:squiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrms:

I hate hate hate hate hate slugs of any and all kind.

At least the commentary was amusing.

Posted by: Ichthyic | March 23, 2009 6:47 PM

That picture seems to be private.

hmm.

ok try again.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3011/3377119486_47c2f6bd9a_o_d.jpg