…and this is a 
He will be gay.
But will the Antichrist be a homosexual? Having seen what the Bible says of sodomy, we have no further to look than the book of Daniel, chapter 11 to find our answer. It says, "Neither shall he [Antichrist] regard... the desire of women...." As I said at the onset, I am not the first to draw attention to this, but the verbiage is clear.
…
But consider this: The time is ripe for such a leader. Indeed, it should not be surprising that the one who is against everything Biblical and Christian should be a partaker of so great a sin; there is no greater way to reject the Creator than to reject your gender and his design for it. And at what other time have we seen such perversion come out of the closets onto our streets, threatening violence if we do not accept their ways?
I never trust Christians and creationists when they use ellipses, so here's the whole passage from the book of Daniel:
36And the king shall do according to his will; and he shall exalt himself, and magnify himself above every god, and shall speak marvellous things against the God of gods, and shall prosper till the indignation be accomplished: for that that is determined shall be done.
37Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.
38But in his estate shall he honour the God of forces: and a god whom his fathers knew not shall he honour with gold, and silver, and with precious stones, and pleasant things.
It's a bit ambiguous, as it's not really saying anything about his sexual interests since it's equating his disregard for the attentions of women to his disregard for gods, and unless Christianity has gotten really kinky, I don't think honoring a god is the same as having physical desire for it. It seems to be saying he's going to be very vain, instead; it seems to me that an argument could be made here that the anti-christ will be an atheist metrosexual.
It doesn't matter, though. The anti-christ could be reading Pharyngula right now, since we're pretty open to all those positions! Come on, if you're reading, you should speak up and leave a comment — we'd like to know more about you!
By the way, the original article also accepts comments, and the majority right now are scathing. It's very refreshing.
Comments
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 28, 2009 12:42 PM
and unless Christianity has gotten really kinky, I don't think honoring a god is the same as having physical desire for it.
Have you read any of the ecstasies of the saints?
Or seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psAd-jOytuQ
Posted by: truthspeaker
|
May 28, 2009 12:43 PM
I'm not gay, so I know it's not me. Too bad. It sounds like a fun gig.
Posted by: Blake Stacey
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May 28, 2009 12:43 PM
Wait, that article was published in something called the Frontiersman? Dammit, did I wake up in Watchmen-world again?
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
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May 28, 2009 12:44 PM
so, are you saying Left Behind got it all wrong after all? But I thought their books were the Truth(TM)?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 12:45 PM
Um humm. And who exactly was the first commenter?
I think we have our answer on who is the anti-christ.
Posted by: Glen Davidson
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May 28, 2009 12:46 PM
Since the Beast of Revelation (not actually the Biblical "anti-Christ") was Nero, who was into screwing a eunuch, yes, the Beast is presumably gay. True, the relevant passage is not from Revelation, but Nero's proclivities probably played in identifying Nero as the Beast.
So it's not really stretch from the Bible to believe that the Beast is gay. The trouble is that the people "arguing" it aren't willing to accept that Nero was the Beast.
Hence it's more a matter of homophobia for them.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
Posted by: Anonymous | May 28, 2009 12:47 PM
It seems to be saying he's going to be very vain, instead;
It doesn't matter, though. The anti-christ could be reading Pharyngula right now, since we're pretty open to all those positions! Come on, if you're reading, you should speak up and leave a comment — we'd like to know more about you!
I have been needing to get to The Body Shop.
Posted by: AJ Milne | May 28, 2009 12:47 PM
'I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus! I wanna feel his salvation all over my face!'...
/Mandatory Cartman flashback.
Posted by: Evinfuilt | May 28, 2009 12:48 PM
Just because I literally rejected (chopped off?) my born in gender doesn't mean I'm not the anti-Christ. But for me to go the route of prophesied evil, will I now have to actually believe that crap or can I go straight to the fun stuff of killing people and turning wine to water at a wine tasting event.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 28, 2009 12:50 PM
The body shop comment was me dammit.
(speaking of the "gay topic"--I've been watching French Open tennis all week, and oh my there are some lovely men on court this year.)
Posted by: merkin j pustart | May 28, 2009 12:52 PM
Look for 666 behind the left ear of Ted Haggard.
Posted by: ThirtyFiveUp | May 28, 2009 12:52 PM
Excellent Comment from that Frontiersman article:
Posted by: Amy | May 28, 2009 12:52 PM
Christians are weird. God: no wife. Christ: never had a girlfriend. And then they get so pissy about gays. It's just bizarre.
Posted by: Steverino | May 28, 2009 12:53 PM
Well, if he is gay, then we can all look forward a really well decorated End of Times to just die for!
Posted by: Metro | May 28, 2009 12:53 PM
So when I say "₤µ©λ god," I'm NOT honouring him? Uh-oh ...Posted by: Margaret's Cat
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May 28, 2009 12:54 PM
Huh? 37 says he won't regard any god and 38 says he will honor a god with gold, silver, etc. Reading that crap makes my brain hurt.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 28, 2009 12:55 PM
Hold it. Independent Baptist Church of Wasilla? Palin?
Nope...apparently she goes to the Wasilla Bible Church. Would love to see the debating pastors on this issue. What's the Gov. think?
Posted by: speedwell | May 28, 2009 12:55 PM
When I was in Sunday School in a large church, our teacher was a Bible scholar who told us that it should properly be a title, the "Desire of Women." There was a popular god back then who was known as that, much as Jesus Christ is sometimes referred to by Christians as the Redeemer or the Prince of Peace.
Posted by: daveau
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May 28, 2009 12:56 PM
Hmmm. Go figure.
Posted by: Notorious P.A.T. | May 28, 2009 12:56 PM
"there is no greater way to reject the Creator than to reject your gender and his design for it"
Really? Being gay is worse than genocide or child abuse?
Posted by: speedwell | May 28, 2009 12:58 PM
There was a popular god back then...
Oh, I remember. It was Tammuz.
Posted by: andrew | May 28, 2009 12:58 PM
tis I, the antichrist. come and bask in my anti-glory. nema.
Posted by: Helioprogenus | May 28, 2009 12:59 PM
The anti-Christ, you know, he's just this dude. He's probably involved in discrediting the existence of all forms of supernatural beliefs and probably deeply involved in using human embryos for research. He's used recombinant DNA technology to create an oil-digesting bacteria that propagates quickly, consuming all the hydrocarbon reserves on the planet, forcing our economy to non-petroleum based markets. Alternative energy becomes viable, creating human hearts and multiple organs also equally so. This evil dude is going to usher in a completely unexpected future and the religious believe he must die.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 1:01 PM
Yeah I saw your tweet earlier and I was going to tell you to keep an eye out for my buddy Marty Fish, but he's long gone in the first round.
Posted by: IST | May 28, 2009 1:01 PM
To me was given the key to the Pit and.... bugger! I always misplace my keys. Anyone have the spare?
Posted by: Michelle R
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May 28, 2009 1:02 PM
I dunno who the antichrist is, but he sounds absolutely FABULOUS!
Posted by: X. Wolp | May 28, 2009 1:02 PM
If the Christian propaganda movie piece Meggiddo can be trusted, the Antichrist will kill people to get himseld a proper wife.
Who won't be horribly impressed by his ability to shoot lightning beams from his fingers and bark bees andd will only be interested in his brother, the POTUS.
Posted by: dNorrisM | May 28, 2009 1:03 PM
I think South Park beat them to the punch.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 1:03 PM
MarDy that is. sheesh
Posted by: Timebender13
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May 28, 2009 1:04 PM
"And at what other time have we seen such perversion come out of the closets onto our streets, threatening violence if we do not accept their ways?"
I havent heard of any gay people threaten anyone with violence for not accepting them. I have only heard peaceful protests against the unjust laws!
Posted by: Hypatia | May 28, 2009 1:04 PM
Hi. Sorry for all the fuss. I have to get my PhD first, though, so the Rapture isn't scheduled for another 4-8 years.
Posted by: kamaka | May 28, 2009 1:05 PM
Really? Being gay is worse than genocide or child abuse?
Yup.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 28, 2009 1:05 PM
Yeah I saw your tweet earlier and I was going to tell you to keep an eye out for my buddy Marty Fish, but he's long gone in the first round.
Saw him yesterday trying to serve-and-volley through. Americans really are just completely lost on the dirt.
Posted by: Ric | May 28, 2009 1:05 PM
It's definitely not saying he will be gay, but i also don't think it's saying he will be vain. It just seems to me to be saying he won't care what women want.
Posted by: NC Paul | May 28, 2009 1:06 PM
I am the Antichrist, and so is my wife.
Posted by: Evangelatheist
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May 28, 2009 1:06 PM
I am anti-christ! That bastard has been persecuting my people for thousands of years. Here is what I have in mind for him.
Posted by: uppity cracka | May 28, 2009 1:06 PM
atheist metrosexual?!
i'm an atheist. i have heat activated straightening gel in my hair and i didn't shave this morning because the stubble is accentuating my manly jawline. crap. i'm wearing designer shoes. and i'm totally into chicks. and i'm going to eat sushi for lunch. fuck. it's me. i'm the god damn antichrist. should i kill myself and save all of humanity?
Posted by: Sastra
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May 28, 2009 1:06 PM
"...and he shall exalt himself, and magnify himself above every god, and shall speak marvellous things against the God of gods, and shall prosper till the indignation be accomplished: for that that is determined shall be done."
The Antichrist will "prosper till the indignation be accomplished?" Whose indignation? If it's the indignation of these huffy Christians, I doubt that the Antichrist would have to exalt himself above an op ed in the local paper before they're all sufficiently pissed off.
Posted by: Boian | May 28, 2009 1:07 PM
I think you are missing the obvious here. 37 states that you must be both gay and an atheist to be the antichrist. I would've applied for the position, if not for 38 muddles the water by adding that said antichrist must honor forces(?!) with precious stones. Does that mean you have to be also rich and possibly a physicists (ones who constantly talk force). Alas, I'm neither of those.
So where are the rich, gay, atheist, physicists?
Posted by: Antichtist Superstar | May 28, 2009 1:07 PM
"Repent, thats what Im talking about
I shed the skin to feed the fake
Repent, thats what Im talking about
Whose mistake am I anyway?"
You have been warned :)
Posted by: Even Stephan | May 28, 2009 1:09 PM
I am Spartacus.
Posted by: Timebender13
|
May 28, 2009 1:10 PM
Boian @ #39
Does George Takei count?
Posted by: Boian | May 28, 2009 1:10 PM
I think you are missing the obvious here. 37 states that you must be both gay and an atheist to be the antichrist. I would've applied for the position, if not for 38 muddles the water by adding that said antichrist must honor forces(?!) with precious stones. Does that mean you have to be also rich and possibly a physicists (ones who constantly talk force). Alas, I'm neither of those.
So where are the rich, gay, atheist, physicists?
Posted by: raven | May 28, 2009 1:11 PM
It was supposed to be President Obama. Or the Pope.
Can't these idiots figure it out once and for all?
If the antichrist topples civilization and no one hears or sees it fall, did it happen?
Posted by: dNorrisM | May 28, 2009 1:11 PM
(Next time I'll read post 8 before commenting.)
Posted by: Postman | May 28, 2009 1:13 PM
Right. Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but since PZ asked, (And what self-respecting Antichrist can say no to PZ Myers, the Antichrist's 'John the Baptist'?), it is I. Your friendly, (but evil), neighborhood atheistical Postman. Just don't tell Gawd, as I'm not ready to give my notice as His Postman yet.
You want proof? Alright.
-I'm not gay, but I am an actor. So, check.
-Church makes me ill.
-I once kicked a puppy. It was an accident, but nevertheless.
-Vanity? Check. (See first proof)
-I do not regard the god of my Pop.
-Finally, I sent gold, silver, a rinestone bracelet and one of those singing bass you put on the wall to Baal just last week.
All Hail Me.
Posted by: The AntiChrist | May 28, 2009 1:13 PM
@# 40
I am suing you for trademark infringement.
Posted by: Somnolent Aphid | May 28, 2009 1:14 PM
jesus was ... gay.
Posted by: Richard Wolford
|
May 28, 2009 1:14 PM
All your gays are belong to us.
-- Satan
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 28, 2009 1:15 PM
jesus was ... gay.
*lilting*Thith ith my body. Take. Eat.*winks*
Posted by: raven | May 28, 2009 1:17 PM
Sounds like a good description of right wing christofascist kooks.
The FBI has identified right wing extremists as our number one domestic threat. And they are always out of their closets and threatening violence and occasionally being violent. After all, their stated aim is to overthrow the US government, set up a theocracy, and head on back to the Dark Ages.
Obama has received more death threats than any other president in history.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 1:17 PM
Yep. He's a big lumbering mess on clay. Which doesn't at all feed his temper... nooooooooooooooooo
Posted by: Johnny Rotten | May 28, 2009 1:18 PM
I am the Anti-Christ!
I am an anar-kist!
Posted by: Dahan | May 28, 2009 1:19 PM
@ 35,
Nice!
Posted by: lose_the_woo
|
May 28, 2009 1:25 PM
Well that settles it in my mind. Barack Obama is a closet gay.
Posted by: fftysmthg | May 28, 2009 1:26 PM
After reading the article, in the Frontiersman, I scrolled down to the comments section and read 5 or 6 of the posts. I'm happy to say all of the posts were against what was written... That gives me hope for our future.
Posted by: Qwerty
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May 28, 2009 1:26 PM
When ever I want to listen to a dose of "the crazy," I listen to Jan Markel who talks about the news with "the end times" in mind. And we all know the anti-christ will be there. Here's a link the page on her website that shows the stations that carry her show.
http://www.olivetreeviews.org/radio/syndication.php
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
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May 28, 2009 1:30 PM
Sorry, I'm just a bisexual atheist furry dom. No antichrist here. *glances at his girlfriend/pet*
Posted by: Ranson | May 28, 2009 1:34 PM
But have you punched a baby?
Posted by: rob | May 28, 2009 1:39 PM
hey, i can use ellipses too:
"...The...leader...who is...Christian should be a partaker of...sin; there is no greater way to...the Creator than ...such perversion"
Posted by: Sastra
|
May 28, 2009 1:42 PM
raven #44 wrote:
There was quite a bit of fuss a while back over Gorbachev (he had the mark of the beast on his forehead!!-- well, okay, some kind of mark, anyway), but my favorite Antichrist was when it was Prince Charles.
Posted by: Rick R | May 28, 2009 1:45 PM
I'm not the anti-christ. But I'd fuck him.
Posted by: 2-D Man | May 28, 2009 1:45 PM
Speedwell had it right. My NIV says:
"37He will show no regard for the gods of his fathers or for the one desired by women..."
I've seen creationists quote-mine the dictionary; Christians quote-mining the bible is no surprise.
Posted by: alextangent | May 28, 2009 1:45 PM
Meanwhile, Christ is occupying a jar of Marmite.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8071865.stm
Unbelievable.
[For the non-Brits, it's like the Aussie Vegemite. It's an acquired taste. Personally, I think it tastes like $hit. What it tastes like with added Jeebus must be truly satanic.]
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 28, 2009 1:48 PM
For the non-Brits, it's like the Aussie Vegemite. It's an acquired taste.
Beer was an acquired taste. Coffee was an acquired taste. Vegemite is inedible.
Posted by: Fred Nurke | May 28, 2009 1:50 PM
OMG!!! The Anti-Christ is Stephen Fry!
Posted by: Sean Peters | May 28, 2009 1:51 PM
Ok, you got me... it's me. As soon as I get this number of the beast marker thingie going, you are all so screwed.
Posted by: jsoutofbiblepgs
|
May 28, 2009 1:51 PM
These loathsome bigots say homosexuality is "against nature," and besides the fact that it doesn't matter, so is religion. The only time religious people concern themselves with nature is in regards to sexuality, the rest of the time they despise nature and regard only the supernatural.
Posted by: viralnerd | May 28, 2009 1:52 PM
OMG the antiChrist is Rush Limbaugh...
Posted by: Peter Ashby | May 28, 2009 1:54 PM
The honouring another god with precious bling thing is an easy one for a religiotard innit? It is clearly saying he will be a materialist. Probably be a Materialist too, but its the consumerism that will mark him out. Robert Mugabe?
Posted by: BAllanJ | May 28, 2009 1:54 PM
My vote for anti-christ goes to Popo Ratzi.
It must make the fundies very happy that the end times are upon us. I know I'm looking forward to being left behind. I'll feel so.... Golgafrinchian (sp?)
Posted by: viralnerd | May 28, 2009 1:55 PM
OMG the antiChrist is Rush Limbaugh...
Posted by: frog | May 28, 2009 1:55 PM
PZ: Have you considered applying for the position? It should be better pay with fewer hours than a faculty gig.
Posted by: Itchy Brother | May 28, 2009 1:57 PM
It's to be expected that a religion founded by male chauvinists would assume that the antichrist would be a man. On the contrary, I happen to know that the antichrist is a woman. I used to be married to her.
Posted by: Peter Ashby | May 28, 2009 1:57 PM
The honouring another god with precious bling thing is an easy one for a religiotard innit? It is clearly saying he will be a materialist. Probably be a Materialist too, but its the consumerism that will mark him out. Robert Mugabe?
Posted by: Raiko | May 28, 2009 2:01 PM
I'm sorry, but I can't fulfill the position of the anti-Christ. I may be one of those spoken-out, loud, female atheists, but I also have a definite desire for women - my fiancee in particular.
Posted by: Matt Heath | May 28, 2009 2:01 PM
Why isn't the quote from Daniel in comic sans?
Posted by: Postman | May 28, 2009 2:01 PM
Ranson @ # 59:
Duh! A puppy is a baby. Since, as an atheist, I am required to believe, (as a matter of faith), that all life on earth is descended from apes, ipso facto - a dog is the same thing as a human.
alextangent @ # 64:
You may have just given them their next marketing strategy.
"Marmite! Now with added Jeebus!"
Posted by: Emmet, OM
|
May 28, 2009 2:01 PM
In addition to being a gay atheist, the Antichrist will like vegemite.
Posted by: anon | May 28, 2009 2:03 PM
Where did you think they learned quote-mining?
They call it proof-texting, but it's the same thing.
Posted by: Sastra
|
May 28, 2009 2:04 PM
2D man #63 wrote:
The god 'desired by women?'
That breaks it down to either "healing energy," or chocolate.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 28, 2009 2:07 PM
That breaks it down to either "healing energy," or chocolate.
I'm not a woman, but chocolate sounds damn good. Way better than an edible jesus.
Posted by: rodiel | May 28, 2009 2:08 PM
Hey, why can't the Antichrist be a woman? That way she'd be straight (which excludes me, but meh, being the Antichrist sounds like a lot of work to do, and I don't like working very much :D), and still fulfill the biblical prediction.
Deal? :-D
Posted by: qit | May 28, 2009 2:10 PM
...so, are you saying Left Behind got it all wrong after all?
No, they have a new prequel called, 'Up the Behind'.
Posted by: Fly Defenestrated
|
May 28, 2009 2:12 PM
Oh dear. Proponents of biblical inerrancy and infallability don't look kindly upon the NIV due to its tendency to paraphrase. Now granted, if the lot of them were actually interested in applying exegesis they'd haul off and learn Greek, but that usually gets glossed over. So does the Old Testament. And reprobatation. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Matt Heath | May 28, 2009 2:13 PM
Let's be clear about this. Marmite and Vegemite are both yeast extract spreads but they are NOT alike. Vegemite is too salty and tastes like licking a stock cube. Marmite is lush.Posted by: j.t.delaney | May 28, 2009 2:13 PM
I'm the anti-christ... and so's my wife!
Posted by: Matthew | May 28, 2009 2:14 PM
I'm gay! I could be the anti-christ! Hooray!!! My mom always said I was destined for great things.
Posted by: WRMartin | May 28, 2009 2:16 PM
Note to self: Slow down when reading Dr. Myers' posts.
It does NOT say, "The Bible of Sodomy"
But it should! ;)
Posted by: Prof. Henry Armitage
|
May 28, 2009 2:18 PM
#56
I suspect that those comments were from Redditors, rather than Wasillans.Posted by: Geoff | May 28, 2009 2:20 PM
Gay anti-Christ huh. That ought to be me! I nominate myself. There should be a poll.
I even like Marmite. If I get left behind, can I have yours?
Posted by: Tony P | May 28, 2009 2:20 PM
Alas, I thought it could be me that assumes the role of Antichrist. But the fact that I'm gay doesn't play into it, I just don't have the physical manifestations of being he.
Posted by: Larry | May 28, 2009 2:21 PM
Honk if you're the antichrist!
Posted by: Pete D | May 28, 2009 2:21 PM
HAHAHAHAHA! When I looked at the link to the article there was an ad for connexion (the "gay-friendly social network").
Posted by: Holbach
|
May 28, 2009 2:21 PM
Other than the obvious bullshit, what gender is the creator, not counting on what males and accepting females take for granted? The human brain gave rise to this imaginary god, and then because of the dominance of the male sex, assigned it the "powerful" gender to preclude any other usurpers. As I have said before, as long as there are humans you will have religion. I wonder if on a planet in the Andromeda Galaxy there are humans where the "she creator" dominates? Would it make a difference?
Posted by: JBlilie | May 28, 2009 2:23 PM
"Vegemite is inedible."
I'm not a big Vegemite or Marmite fan. I assert that it is edible. (Maybe it's just because I like cheeses with enough age on them that they burn your lips when you eat them ... could be.) Anyhow, think of it as a spice, not a condiment (e.g. mayo or mustard) or main course (e.g. peanut butter). Toast the bread, spread with butter first, then a small admixture of the salty yeast business lightly knifed in. It should look very close to butter still. It's quite good actually.
Basically, brewer's yeast is vile stuff though ... Doesn't matter how much you salt it.
I refuse to be consistent.
Posted by: littlejohn | May 28, 2009 2:33 PM
The antichrist is just like Jesus, but with an opposite electrical charge. Haven't you guys taken a physics class?
Posted by: Auntie Christ | May 28, 2009 2:33 PM
Really, dearies, I'm not so bad as it's made out. Oh, sure, I am absolutely fabulous, but I'm really a big softie. But, oh, the stories I could tell! Did you know Jesus, when he was younger, used to do this trick where he made the waters of his diaper part? It was really very convenient, saved us having to change him too often, except when he did a doo-doo...
Posted by: claw | May 28, 2009 2:33 PM
Antichrist? You mean Bob Antichrist from North Kiltown?
Posted by: spondee | May 28, 2009 2:34 PM
For eternity, I have waded through the blood of the fallen, wallowed in their innards and drank from their skulls. I have slaughtered the innocent and slit the throats of saints, but no way am I kissing a dude. This shit is news to me and I am walking. The postition of "Anti-Christ" is officially available.
Posted by: The AntiChrist | May 28, 2009 2:34 PM
One other thing. I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some of my best friends are gay.
Posted by: Axe Diesel Palin | May 28, 2009 2:35 PM
Christians are weird. God: no wife. Christ: never had a girlfriend. And then they get so pissy about gays. It's just bizarre.
Actually, I thought he had a thing for young Jewish virgins.
Posted by: Steve L | May 28, 2009 2:36 PM
Could the antichrist be a heterosexual or asexual female?
Posted by: uppity cracka | May 28, 2009 2:37 PM
does the antichrist like fish sticks?
Posted by: Kobra | May 28, 2009 2:38 PM
Damn. I'm disqualified. Unless... Nope. Not attracted to dudes. I guess this means the few Christians who have sent me hate mail were completely full of shit.
Posted by: dreikin | May 28, 2009 2:38 PM
But what about a chocolate edible Jesus?Posted by: Ranson | May 28, 2009 2:38 PM
Postman @ 78
I can buy that argument. Have you flipped off a box of kittens, though?
Posted by: Carlie | May 28, 2009 2:43 PM
Missed one: The antichrist will use Movable Type on his blog.
Posted by: Sili
|
May 28, 2009 2:43 PM
Funny. Based on those verses I can see how the Pope fits.
Posted by: BeccaTheCyborg | May 28, 2009 2:44 PM
Hmm, I'm a godless sort with a penchant for drag, but my love of the ladies does outweigh my love of the MAC, so sadly it is not me. Unless of course the Antichrist is a chick. If so, I nominate me.
However, I am with a well-groomed godless man who spends even more time than I do picking out products by scent as well as function. He'd be good too.
Posted by: rhonan | May 28, 2009 2:46 PM
Of course the Antichrist would have to be gay. From everything I've read in the bible, it is clear that he rises to power from a start as a televangelist. We know he would want a large flock who will swallow anything, so clearly he would be a religious conservative, and anti-gay. Since we know that all religious leaders who are loudly anti-gay, are closeted and repressed homosexuals, we can be certain that the Antichrist is a closeted and repressed homosexual.
I will skip the quote mining that would be normal with such reasoning.
Posted by: Bostonian | May 28, 2009 2:49 PM
Looking over that passage from scripture (and thanks for posting the whole thing, PZ - you're right, you can't trust fundagelicals with ellipses) I can't help but wonder: maybe those verses are just a load of ambiguous tripe regardless of whether one quotes them as a whole or in part.
If they're not tripe, and truly represent a valid prophecy, I'd imagine there are a lot of Antichrists around. People who don't honor the god of their parents and put Number One first? Maybe they're franchisees, or clones like Ronald McDonald or Santa Claus, but there must be millions of people like that.
Posted by: Epikt
|
May 28, 2009 2:50 PM
littlejohn:
You make a very important point. If we could find the antichrist, we could collide him with jesus and harvest the gamma rays. Beats "clean coal."
Posted by: Kobra | May 28, 2009 2:53 PM
@113:
Bwa ha ha ha ha!
Okay, regardless of what else happens the rest of this month, I am so nominating you for a Molly just for that one.
Posted by: MattB | May 28, 2009 2:54 PM
I think PZ is the anti-christ.
Or maybe science itself is the anti-christ, since everything truly scientific contradicts the notion of "christ".
Posted by: Jason Thibeault | May 28, 2009 3:00 PM
Can the AntiChrist be Canadian?
Politest end-times scenario ever. "If you all could queue up to receive your Mark of the Beast, that would be appreciated. No, please, no shoving, you'll all get your mark in due course. Thank you!"
Posted by: Michelle | May 28, 2009 3:00 PM
There are more psycho religious nuts in Wasilla, Alaska than there are moose.
Posted by: Mentat | May 28, 2009 3:01 PM
There is no greater way to reject the Creator than to reject your nakedness and his design for it. The wearing of clothes is a sin.
It's clear that the AntiChrist will be wearing clothing. Probably something polyester... maybe even a leisure suit, that evil bastard.
Posted by: AKspock | May 28, 2009 3:01 PM
Just forty miles down the road from the Mat-Su Valley (home of the Frontiersman), the Anchorage Assembly is considering adding sexual preference to the nondiscrimination ordinance.
Pastor Jerry Prevo (of the Anchorage Baptist Temple) has his panties in a bunch over this. Check out his new anti-gay website at www.sosanchorage.org. Vile.
Posted by: Michelle | May 28, 2009 3:03 PM
There are more psycho religious nuts in Wasilla, Alaska than there are moose.
Posted by: Felole | May 28, 2009 3:03 PM
I would like to be the antichrist... May I?
Posted by: Jason Thibeault | May 28, 2009 3:06 PM
a: "I'm the antichrist!"
b: "No, I'm the antichrist!"
c: "I'M the antichrist!"
d: "I'M Spartacus!"
b: "Um, wrong plotline. We're doing Left Behind."
d: "Oh, sorry."
Posted by: Verde | May 28, 2009 3:09 PM
Pete D @94
I noticed that too! LOL....
Wonder how the Rev feels about a gay social networking ad being plastered over his article. gotta love that!
Posted by: daveau
|
May 28, 2009 3:10 PM
Felole@121
I'm pretty sure that one of the hallmarks of being the antichrist is just taking what you want without asking.
Posted by: Leon | May 28, 2009 3:10 PM
Sounds more to me like the Antichrist will be a Catholic priest.
I suppose murder, rape, and genocide aren't so bad after all! It's always reassuring to have my bad opinion of Christianity confirmed by its own followers.
Posted by: Ellis | May 28, 2009 3:11 PM
So we can't be in the military (openly) and we can't get married (legally, for the most part) but one of us will lead the end of the world? Hmm… all this time it hasn’t been about oppression and homophobia after all. It’s the power we hold they fear! Satan…. If your reading this… my resume is prepared!
Posted by: blf | May 28, 2009 3:12 PM
I thought antichrists were a horde of energizer bunnys who breed like, well, rabbits. Frequently with large litters. Except nobody eats energizer bunnys. And they keep on going…
The planet would be hip deep and drowning in energizer bunnys in a rather short time. I'm been too scared to estimate how long it'd take, but I assume there's some guidance in teh babble on this point?
I am so happy I'm wrong! Gay antichrists don't sound anywhere near as bad as drowning in energizer bunnys. Even if both are pink—guess that's the colour of the antichrists? (Seems about right, gays, pinkos, and antichrists all make wingnutters' heads explode.)
Posted by: bsk | May 28, 2009 3:14 PM
No, I'm the antichrist!£%!#
Posted by: TurboCramb | May 28, 2009 3:15 PM
@#4
Awww, I totally should have read these comments before I posted over there. Sorry to steal your joke.
Posted by: Elwood Herring | May 28, 2009 3:15 PM
I deliberately haven't read any of the comments yet because I bet at least half a dozen people have already posted "I'm the Antichrist and so is my wife!", so I'm not going to say that.
(Partly because I'm not married).
Posted by: Randomfactor | May 28, 2009 3:16 PM
You guys quit kidding around. This is the modern age: the suspects don't just include human beings, since corporations are legal "persons" too.
I nominate General Motors. Aren't they the Anti-Chrysler?*
*(Apologies to Matt G.)
Posted by: ABradford | May 28, 2009 3:22 PM
Based off of comments, I'm going to have to say we must all be the antichrist, collectively.
As long as we are kept apart and only communicate as a group from our separate computers, we won't form the components to build the beast, won't precipitate the rapture and won't have a knockdown, drag-out fight with a 10-story rampaging zombie jeebus golem.
Actually, that last one sounds fun. Blog commenter meetup anyone?
Posted by: SteveM
|
May 28, 2009 3:27 PM
Exactly, Adam and Eve got thrown out of the Garden because they covered up their nakedness.
Posted by: dreikin | May 28, 2009 3:27 PM
Off Topic (by quite a margin):
Does anyone know if there's some common reason why a bunch of blogs (afarensis, evolgen, Dr. Bushwell's Chimpanzee Refuge, etc) are all leaving scienceblogs?
Posted by: Tanya | May 28, 2009 3:28 PM
This has nothing to do with homosexuality and everything to do with idol worship - the 37th verse is simply mistranslated. The Hebrew "chemdah 'ishshah", which is translated here as "the desire of women", actually refers to goddess idols worshipped by Syrian women at the time.
So, basically, all the verse is saying is that the anti-christ won't worship anything but himself - not the god of his parents and culture, not the feminine gods of the Syrians, no gods at all. It's not even necessarily saying he's an atheist - only that he places himself above all things others find worthy of worship.
I knew all those years as a fundy would come in handy...
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 3:32 PM
Server issues?
The overlords bearing down on them?
Skittles?
Posted by: Anonymous | May 28, 2009 3:34 PM
No, covering their nakedness was how God knew they had eaten from the Tree. The act of eating from the Tree is what got them kicked out. And how an omnipotent God needed such a tell to know they had sinned...we'll leave that as an exercise to the reader.
More on topic, back in my religionist days I used to have nightmares that I was the Antichrist. It was the only way I could mentally justify not feeling the presence of God and all that jazz the Christians were always going on about (all you have to do is say this formulaic prayer, etc). That feeling sucked, although I couldn't make up my mind whether it would be more moral to suicide or actually do what was in Revelations.
Posted by: Beige | May 28, 2009 3:35 PM
"the one who is against everything Biblical and Christian"
Hang on, surely with these criteria there has to be more than one anti-christ!
Posted by: Bree | May 28, 2009 3:37 PM
I would be inclined to think that it must be me, after all, I am not a lezbian, I am anti-christ, I certainly don't give god any gold or silver or any nice things whatsoever.
It's entirely possible that the word SHE was changed to HE by the bias authors ;-)
I'm going work on spitting fire... Hmmmm, and maybe I'll use a cute little heart as my mark, so as not to freak terrify the Christians with my favorite number. Crap, I wonder if I will be able to patent it?
Ahhhh! So much responsibility now!! So much work to be done!
Posted by: Brooke | May 28, 2009 3:39 PM
Couple of points:
1. The book of Daniel never uses the word, "anti-christ": its subject matter in the referenced verses is recognized by virtually all critical readers as the Seleucid monarch Antiochus IV (ruled 170-164 B.C.). For that matter, the book of Revelation doesn't say "anti-christ" either. The word is used in the letters of John, apparently as a general term for the disbeliever.
2. With Speedwell (#18, #21), yeah, the best reading is probably "the one beloved of women," that is the god Tammuz. The idea is that Antiochus IV had no regard for the traditional gods, for Tammuz, or for any god.
Posted by: dendrofanatic | May 28, 2009 3:43 PM
Since the Antichrist is an atheist, perhaps we atheists should vote amongst ourselves. As free thinkers, wouldn't we want the Antichrist to be an elected position?
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 28, 2009 3:50 PM
They want to spend more time with their families.
Actually, a good-bye post at Bushwell's (which has now disappeared) referenced "shoddy behavior" in the back-channel forum of the sciencebloggers. The reference was non-specific, but seems to have involved bullying accusations of misogyny.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 3:54 PM
whoops, my bad
Posted by: Robyn | May 28, 2009 3:57 PM
I'm with anyone who says the Antichrist is a woman. Makes sense to me!
Posted by: TurboCramb | May 28, 2009 4:03 PM
@#137
OMFG I was afraid of that too!!!!
Posted by: llewelly | May 28, 2009 4:05 PM
I think it's pretty clear. The anti-christ shall have a fetish for lenses which magnify. THAT MEANS THE ANTI-CHRIST WILL BE A SCIENTIST!! The kind that uses a microscope, or maybe the kind that uses a telescope.Posted by: dreikin | May 28, 2009 4:05 PM
Sven:
I noticed that too. I'd originally assumed it was just a contract thing (I've seen a few complain about required posting volume), general non-specific issues/conflicts with Seed/SciBlogs, or somesuch, but that post made me wonder if there's some common reason or backroom behaviour driving them out.
I'm not surprised at Dr. Bushwell's reason, given the apparently hair-trigger calls of misogyny/sexism around these parts (arguably exemplified here).
Posted by: Evolving Squid | May 28, 2009 4:05 PM
Now wait a minute here... Jebus spurned women and hung around with a bunch of swarthy men in dresses.
Wouldn't the anti-christ therefore be some studly womanizer?
Posted by: 386sx | May 28, 2009 4:08 PM
Could it be that this will be the predominate sin on earth when Christ descends from the clouds to fight against the armies of wickedness? And will it be just a coincidence that the Antichrist will be the very first occupant of the lake of fire, tasting eternal death 1,000 years before even the devil himself?
It doesn't get any more classic than that!
You be the judge.
Perfect. A perfect finish to a perfect article. They don't get any more perfect than that, folks.
Posted by: Merkin Muffley
|
May 28, 2009 4:10 PM
I think these folks should be able to define the anti-christ anyway they want. After all, isn't that one of the main advantages of writing fiction?
Posted by: blf | May 28, 2009 4:16 PM
They aren't even good at doing that.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 28, 2009 4:17 PM
It was quite odd. I had happened to look at the "last 24 hours" list, clicked over to Bushwell's to read the adios post, and while I was reading it the post was disappeared. It has every appearance of censorship. At about the same time, the blog name disappeared from the "choose a blog" list.
Posted by: Sarcastro | May 28, 2009 4:18 PM
When the word came into existence I cannot tell you...
1892. Google. 10 seconds.
If you can't research that you're dumber than a box of sticks and I shall not continue reading.
Posted by: 386sx | May 28, 2009 4:20 PM
Wow, that Ron Hamman is like a cross between Jonathan Wells and the Church Lady. And just like with Jonathan Wells, you can smell the foul stench of their writing all the way through the internet tubes. Man, that is some stinky smelly writing.
Posted by: Sleestak | May 28, 2009 4:20 PM
The Anti-Christ will also be circumsized.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | May 28, 2009 4:20 PM
oops, my bad.
The post (which did indeed disappear for an hour or so) is now back up:
http://scienceblogs.com/bushwells/2009/05/bonobo_voyage_the_chimps_are_l.php
Posted by: Nerrin | May 28, 2009 4:24 PM
Damn. Now I can't be the Antichrist.
Posted by: Chris Chandler | May 28, 2009 4:27 PM
-You know, Jesus didn't seem interested in women either.
Posted by: lose_the_woo
|
May 28, 2009 4:27 PM
I envision a smirking Dr. Evil pose here, mouth-pinky and all.
Posted by: Andy Christ | May 28, 2009 4:28 PM
Women are hot.
Posted by: karen | May 28, 2009 4:29 PM
Is there a position open as the Antichrist's Guardian Angel? I think I'd prefer that since I wouldn't have to do anything at all. I'm much too lazy to do antichristy things.
And I'm sooooo looking forward to the Queer Eye for the End Times makeover!
Posted by: norm! | May 28, 2009 4:29 PM
The McLeroy confirmation is on the Texas Senate floor.
Posted by: Andy Christ | May 28, 2009 4:30 PM
Women are hot.
Posted by: Holbach
|
May 28, 2009 4:33 PM
Chris Chandler @ 158
What jesus?
Posted by: Deiloh
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May 28, 2009 4:35 PM
I have is on good authority that the anti-christ will be a woman, with three sons, lounges around in a purple body stocking, has a monopoly on dark matter, and goes by Mom.
Posted by: SocraticGadfly | May 28, 2009 4:36 PM
Since, per Paul in 2 Thessalonians, the "man of lawlessness" is supposed to arise within the church, the Antichrist must be Ted Haggard!
Posted by: hyphenate | May 28, 2009 4:36 PM
I should know enough to stay away from here until my ribs heal--laughing is wwwaaayyy too painful right now!
I always thought George Bush or Dick Cheney was the anti-christ.
Posted by: dreikin | May 28, 2009 4:38 PM
Yep, the Refuge is now gone from the blog list. Same thing happened with Afarensis, but they're both still accessible from direct urls and google. Dr. Bushwell et al.s good-bye post isn't on the "Last 24 Hours" listing either. Strangely, a few of the other blogs that have said goodbye are still in the blog list.
Posted by: dWhisper
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May 28, 2009 4:38 PM
I saw one of the tabloid mags today proclaiming an Obama Gay! scandal. Maybe they're just positioning for a two-fer on the anti-Christ.
Posted by: SocraticGadfly | May 28, 2009 4:40 PM
I see the submission errors problem has returned...
Posted by: 'Tis Himself | May 28, 2009 4:41 PM
TypeKey won't let me sign in either.
Posted by: lose_the_woo
|
May 28, 2009 4:44 PM
I see it now...the antichrist driving his minions with a bull whip, dressed in assless chaps lisping at the top of his voice "now this is fabulous!!!".
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble | May 28, 2009 4:45 PM
Sorry, you've all got the verse wrong. It doesn't say anything about the anti-Christ being a sweet cowboy with a sculpted six-pack and quick-release chaps. It says "Neither shall he regard the ... desire of women". EXEGESIS: The AC will get his end away with women without regard to whether or not they desire him to do so.
It should hardly surprise anyone that the anti-Christ is a rapist. Don't slander the gay boys. The AC's entirely heteronormal, and (ironically) the follower of a time-honoured religious tradition that dates all the way back to God-assisted rape in the Old Testament, to God himself knocking up an underage virgin without her consent, and right up to the present day catalogue of perverted pastors pronging panicked parishioners.
My great fear is that I'm the anti-Christ, and that soon Satan will take me over. In 1666 it was prophesied by a midget named Meno that the anti-Christ would come from amongst the Batzrubble clan, and that he would be the sixth great-great-grandson of the sixth great-grandson of the sixth son of the clan's founder (Patriarch Bob Batzrubble) and that he would be born on or about 6 June 1966. My birthday is next week and I'll be 43. My mother wrote a poem about it:
At birth it was horribly clear,
That Smog was a child to fear,
Six fingers, six toes,
Three holes up his nose,
And the mark of the beast on his rear.
Pray for me, o my brothers, for I know not what I am capable of.
Posted by: dahduh | May 28, 2009 4:46 PM
Huh, what are they talking about?
"the king shall... desire... women.... his... precious... and pleasant things."
Posted by: Elwood Herring | May 28, 2009 4:58 PM
"Only the TRUE Antichrist denies his anti-divinity!"
Alright then, I'm NOT the Antichrist!
...
Now - FUCK OFF!!!
Posted by: bridge | May 28, 2009 4:59 PM
RE: #141
Ooh! I hereby nominate PZ Meyer as ANTICHRIST!
I think we could make this a web-wide poll/blog voting crap-fest!
Who else should be up for election?
If nominated, would you run, PZ? If elected, would you serve?
Posted by: Victor
|
May 28, 2009 5:03 PM
The book of Daniel mentions for Kings, none of them are referred to as the Antichrist (it a bit early for that anyway). Christians really shouldn't be allowed to read the Bible. Sometimes I think they just look for the "cool parts" and string them all together.
Posted by: cicely
|
May 28, 2009 5:10 PM
Maybe, like Zuul, the Anti-christ is whatever it wants to be.
Posted by: Moggie
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May 28, 2009 5:11 PM
The antichrist will triple-post to Pharyngula.
#149:
What difference does that make? 1000 + eternity = eternity.
Posted by: Spiro Keat | May 28, 2009 5:17 PM
#95 "Other than the obvious bullshit, what gender is the creator, not counting on what males and accepting females take for granted? The human brain gave rise to this imaginary god, and then because of the dominance of the male sex, assigned it the "powerful" gender to preclude any other usurpers. As I have said before, as long as there are humans you will have religion. I wonder if on a planet in the Andromeda Galaxy there are humans where the "she creator" dominates? Would it make a difference?"
What would the gender be if god was invented in the 21st century instead of the Bronze age?
Would the same death cults predominate?
Posted by: Felole | May 28, 2009 5:20 PM
The real anti-christ is God...
At the end he was the one that killed his son. Christ!
I have the proof. IT IS IN BIBLE SO I BELIEVE IT.
Posted by: Muhamad | May 28, 2009 5:21 PM
Yes, I'm reading it right now.
Posted by: OctoberMermaid | May 28, 2009 5:22 PM
I'm sure this has been said before but.. "there is no greater way to reject the Creator than to reject your gender and his design for it."
Why is there no greater rejection of God? Wouldn't murder be worse? Wouldn't calling God a miserable, immature fuckhead be worse?
But no, the worst thing you can do is make the author of this article feel icky and uncomfortable.
Well, how about that?
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | May 28, 2009 5:25 PM
The anti-christ is obviously Fred Phelps.
He hates gays soooo much, that, well . . .
He must be pretty well off money wise, appearing in diverse places as he does.
His general demeanor suggests that he actually hates All. That would include Jesus.
He's probably circumcised.
Yup. Fred Phelps, sleeper candidate for the toughest PR task in History!
*why I ever thought it might be me, I just dunno*
Posted by: Brownian, OM
|
May 28, 2009 5:27 PM
If elected, I promise to answer the prayers of all, not just the pre-game ones made by Alabama high school football quarterbacks like some anti-anti-Christs I could name.
Oh, and if you get unwillingly boned in a church in my name, I will lay the smackdown via lightning bold on the collared mofo what did you. Again, unlike some anti-anti-Christs I could name.
Actually, if elected, I'll just actually do stuff and exist. Again, unlike some anti-anti-Christs I could name.
Posted by: Rabo | May 28, 2009 5:27 PM
Oh, No! It's Making Well-Reasoned Arguments Backed With Facts! Run!
Posted by: SquidBrandon
|
May 28, 2009 5:27 PM
Ooooooh!
Gay? Check
Liberal? Check
Atheist? Check
Fiery red hair to coordinate with a flaming abyss? Check
The Antichrist is totally me! Now, when do I get my first paycheck?
Posted by: Muhamad | May 28, 2009 5:29 PM
Yes, I'm reading it right now.
Posted by: Happy Tentacles
|
May 28, 2009 5:29 PM
What about us lesbians? Why can't I be the anti-christ? Sounds like my dream job. Is there anywhere I can submit my CV, or should all Pharyngulites draw lots for it?
By the way, is the anti-christ like anti-matter? If the anti-christ bites a holy cracker, will there be a big explosion?
Posted by: OctoberMermaid | May 28, 2009 5:30 PM
#185
I was with you until you made that snide remark about other anti-Christ candidates. I'm sorry, but as for myself and most of the human public, we've grown weary of attack ads when it comes to anti-christ elections. Where is the honor? Being anti-christ used to MEAN something.
Posted by: squirrelly | May 28, 2009 5:34 PM
"And the king shall do according to his will; and he shall exalt himself, and magnify himself above every god, and shall speak marvelous things against the God of gods, and shall prosper till the indignation be accomplished: for that that is determined shall be done."
If "God" is the god of gods, that means that the Bible recognizes other/lesser gods, that they do exist and rule, but "God" presides over them.
So if Christians believe in "the one, true god" and his book of lies I mean rules, how does one explain how he refers to himself as the "god of gods" and wouldn't he be more respected as the king of beers?
Posted by: Andy Christ | May 28, 2009 5:36 PM
Pharyngula is my favorite blog. It helps me dupe the unsuspecting.
Posted by: Brownian, OM
|
May 28, 2009 5:37 PM
No OctoberMermaid, you've got it all wrong. I would never attack my fellow anti-Christ nominees. However, I think it's fair to point out where the anti-anti-Christ regime is falling behind, and why it's time for the anti-Christ party to show the world what we're made of, regardless of which of me or my esteemed fellow anti-Christ nominees are leading it.
See, I'm thinking Canadian style elections, not American ones.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 5:41 PM
I'm running for vice-anti-christ.... so we all know where the real evil is.
Posted by: dreikin | May 28, 2009 5:47 PM
I thought Cheney or McCain already had that one sealed? Oh wait, that's right - they're part of the Sith party. Although, the Sith WOULD like to be the Gods of the Force(s)..Posted by: Stagyar zil Doggo | May 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Tis the Catholic Priesthood that be talked about here, not teh Gay.
Posted by: MadScientist | May 28, 2009 6:18 PM
I don't find the passage ambiguous at all. It talks about a king - given the era, think about the kings of Samaria, Babylon, Egypt (even if they weren't called 'kings') etc at the time. Like megalomaniacs of any other part of the world they built impressive monuments to themselves.
The language is very plain; there will be a king who is so self-obsessed that he doesn't care for the current god or women; however he does worship another god which is different from his ancestors' god.
The words are meaningless though because they are so general you can imagine they apply to any number of kings. Look up a summary of the Egyptian pharaoh Akhenaten - perfect fit!
This reads to me like an attempt to implant the idea that all apostates should be murdered because they might be the great enemy depicted in the prophecy. Now calling the king mentioned in Daniel the "Anti-Christ" is ridiculous because Jeezus is not even recognized as the messiah (except of course by his own cult).
Posted by: Joshua Zelinsky | May 28, 2009 6:23 PM
Jerry Falwell said that the Anti-Christ had to be Jewish and male. I meet those two criteria. I don't meet the gay criteria though. So this writer must be wrong.
Posted by: John Vreeland | May 28, 2009 6:28 PM
"It seems to be saying he's going to be very vain."
In other words, just like YHWH.
Posted by: Tsu Dho Nimh | May 28, 2009 6:34 PM
But in his estate shall he honour the God of forces
So we're looking for a homosexual physicist?
Posted by: Cheezits | May 28, 2009 6:36 PM
Where the hell does that passage mention any anti-christ?? Talk about making shit up.
Posted by: Floyd Rubber | May 28, 2009 6:36 PM
Dearest Smoggy,
So this is what you've been doing in your spare time! I can see you are looking forward to a really good spanking tonight. Get my latex cleaned and ready.
Posted by: Cannabinaceae | May 28, 2009 6:40 PM
Among the antichrist is anybody who can sing this ditty (to a Willie Nelson tune) honestly:
Marijuana is my favorite drug
Me-n-my lover, we do more than just hug
I'd talk to God, except he don't exist
I'm a pot-smokin', fornicatin' atheist
Might get so high that I am paralyzed
Might find myself between some sweaty thighs
Might tell a joke about Jesus Christ
Just to be funny, don't you realize!
Posted by: owlbear1 | May 28, 2009 6:58 PM
The Anti-Christ is a Lesbian from Encino.
Posted by: Mark | May 28, 2009 7:09 PM
Ah, that was a good one. Really enjoyed Lott offering his daughters and the fact he's from Wasilla. Maybe he can see gay people from his house. He sure does think a lot about being gay......
Posted by: Krystalline Apostate | May 28, 2009 7:37 PM
Any of the nominees here born of a jackal?
The Book o' Daniel (BOD) is 1 of the biggest jokes in the bibble. Somehow, Daniel managed to get future events perfectly, yet strangely, somehow, got 'topical' events completely wrong.
Darius the Mede, for starters.
The BOD has all kinds problems in it. Too numerous to list here.
Posted by: Andy Christ | May 28, 2009 7:43 PM
"The Anti-Christ is a Lesbian from Encino"
I'm whatever you need me to be . . .
Posted by: OZ, the Antichrist | May 28, 2009 7:53 PM
Hey guys! How's it hangin'? Me? Oh you know me. I'm just the boogieman. See, truth is, Christianity is just a big old scam. It's the pious and willfully ignorant that go to Hell, and the fun loving and scientifically minded that go to Heaven. Dad says he's really sorry about what the criminal known as Yahweh did to this universe, but he did his best to give you choice, 6000 years ago. I'm afraid it was the best we could do on such short notice. But have no fear, when I come to rule the planet, I'll banish the ignorant and evil god, God, to a lake of fire, where he'll be pissed off for eternity.
Cheers!
OZ, the Antichrist
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | May 28, 2009 7:53 PM
Can you be prime Tomahawk Rib-Eye with porcini demi glas and bottle of 1995 Ridge Monte Bello?
Posted by: Kimpatsu
|
May 28, 2009 8:05 PM
An atheist metrosexual? It must be me! (I have the added advantage of being British.) If James Mason is God (see Eddie Izzard), then I can be the Antichrist!
Bwa ha ha ha ha!
Posted by: tim gueguen | May 28, 2009 8:09 PM
Some years ago some fundies became convinced King Juan Carlos of Spain was the Antichrist.
My guess today is that it's the "AnthroPC" Pintsize from the webcomic Questionable Content. That little guy is always up to something, and his being a computer does tie into the "UPC codes are the Mark of the Beast!" idea. He certainly would be flattered by the idea.
Posted by: cicely
|
May 28, 2009 8:24 PM
The item linked at #186 is a keeper.
Posted by: vaibhav | May 28, 2009 8:43 PM
Jesus didnt desire of any women either according to that piece of shit they call the bible....oops did i give away anything??
Posted by: Yellow Dog | May 28, 2009 8:48 PM
Oh, who cares. Here's the real question:
Is he hot?
Posted by: Jeanette
|
May 28, 2009 8:54 PM
Oh, good grief. Well at least that confirms that it's probably not Obama.
But why necessarily gay? I don't think "the verbiage is clear." Maybe the Anti-Christ is some sex-obsessed celibate, like for example a priest.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | May 28, 2009 9:00 PM
... unless Christianity has gotten really kinky, I don't think honoring a god is the same as having physical desire for it.
Talk to a hetero male recovering-Catholic, one soaked in Da Faith™ all through adolescence, about Mary with the Cherry.
That particular sort of kink is probably inseparable from any sort of fertility goddess, which in turn has been a feature of christianism ever since that cult spread beyond the cities and had to address the "spiritual needs" of peasants.
Posted by: kamaka | May 28, 2009 9:09 PM
All kidding aside, the whole "anti-christ" idea is weird as "hell".
The concept is psychotic and a menace to the human race.
Posted by: Aaron Baker | May 28, 2009 9:31 PM
You beat it out of me, P.Z.: I'm the Anti-Christ. But you already suspected that, didn't you?
Bow down, my minions; we have Christians to slay and some pretty classy orgies to attend.
Posted by: Aaron Baker | May 28, 2009 9:35 PM
As I'm sure you all can imagine, I don't like tooting my own horn; but Myers has anticipated my press conference by a whole week (Damn the man! Oh wait . . . .)
Posted by: Anonymous | May 28, 2009 10:28 PM
Verse 42 seals it for me..."But he shall have power over the treasures of gold and of silver, and over all the precious things of Egypt: and the Libyans and the Ethiopians shall be at his steps."
I'm thinking that the middle east might not be as progressive as the US and Europe... We might be waiting until hell freezes over before a homosexual rules over Egypt, Libya and Ethiopia.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | May 28, 2009 10:30 PM
Shoddy behavior in the back-channels, eh?
Isn't it obvious?
The last remaining scienceblogs.com blogger will be revelated as the antichrist.
The ensuing competition to post comment # 666 will crash the servers for 1 kiloyear.
Posted by: SteveM
|
May 28, 2009 10:46 PM
That "whoosh" sound is the joke flying over your head.
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble | May 28, 2009 11:43 PM
Floyd@202
It's over bubba. You picked the sheep ahead of me, now my ass belongs to Jesus.
Weep on your new boy's woolly shoulder.
Smoggles
Posted by: Badger3k | May 29, 2009 12:42 AM
Fly D @ 85, "Oh dear. Proponents of biblical inerrancy and infallability don't look kindly upon the NIV due to its tendency to paraphrase. "
Which is really funny, since most of them prefer the KJV, which is one of the worst in terms of accuracy.
Posted by: darkcrash17 | May 29, 2009 1:08 AM
"...Threatening violence if we do not accept their ways" -- W.T.F.!?!?!?
How easily the lies come out of their mouths. Fed on a diet of them as they are. I guess that's why these troglodytes have to pound the shit out of gays...out of self-defense!!
Morons.
Disappointed in the lame gay "humor" from some of you...I thought your views might be a little more...evolved. Oh well.
Posted by: kamaka | May 29, 2009 1:31 AM
Disappointed in the lame gay "humor" from some of you...I thought your views might be a little more...evolved. Oh well.
Reading fail.
Best I can tell, most of the "lame" gay humor is from "lame" gays. And the rest of us worthless hetro types think it's funny.
Posted by: Midnight Rambler | May 29, 2009 2:44 AM
In this case they're the same though; whereas the RSV, CEV, and ESV all have it more properly rendered as "He shall give no heed to the gods of his fathers, or to the one beloved by women..." (emphasis added)
Also, if you're going to try and cram biblical prophecies into historical accuracy, it's pretty clearly talking about the Ptolemaic vs. Seleucid empires. Except that Alexander's empire broke into three parts, not four.
Posted by: James Dupont | May 29, 2009 4:04 AM
Well, I'm an atheist and a bit of a "ginger beer" myself...where do I sign up to be in the running for the anti-christ position?
Posted by: DLC | May 29, 2009 4:19 AM
Someone has to be Brian:
"I am not the
MessiahAntichrist! I am not theMessiahAntichrist!Posted by: Laborum | May 29, 2009 4:44 AM
By the way... his phone number is at the bottom of his article. He probably wants to "hear" all your opinions. :)
Posted by: tus | May 29, 2009 5:38 AM
aside from the vanity it sounds a bit like me...i do love me some sodomy...and being a god would be a fun gig. (thats why i make games, if you cant be god, make your own world and be god of that ^_^)
Posted by: SnottyProfessor | May 29, 2009 6:26 AM
I thought *I* were the anti-christ. I guess I am on the clear now.
Posted by: Robert T. | May 29, 2009 8:03 AM
Hi Professor Myers,
Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.
Neither shall he regard the desire of women ... Hmmm, to me this scenario sounds more like a leader who supports gay people (and, no doubt, their legal needs). The Antichrist himself may or may not be gay.
What I found very disagreeable with Mr. Hamman's article is the equation of unbridled lust to homosexuality. A gay person can be a homosexual and still be very conservative in his views (i.e., it's not all about sex).
Posted by: Spidergrackle | May 29, 2009 10:01 AM
Oh, snap! Busted!
Posted by: Alethias | May 29, 2009 12:04 PM
I'm the anti-christ. But I chose to live out my life in a boring ordinary fashion instead of living out my destiny of destroying the world thru armageddon and bringing about the re-entrance of the Old Gods into the world.
sorry, Chthulu, but you'll just have to wait. I have a computer program with a subtle bug in it that I need to go fix.
Posted by: Cronan | May 29, 2009 12:44 PM
I am Spartacus!
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | May 29, 2009 1:03 PM
Midnight Rambler @ # 227: ... Alexander's empire broke into three parts, not four.
I had thought there were four (Egypt, Persia, the lands in between, and Greece/Macedonia), but if I interpret this source correctly, there were at least nine (as defined by distinct claimants to the respective thrones).
Posted by: Vern | May 29, 2009 1:51 PM
Come on, P.Z. You really think Oprah reads your blog?
Posted by: gaypaganunitarianagnostic | May 29, 2009 2:11 PM
If you will look at my nom de web, you will see that I would be a prime candidate for the (Anti-C) job. Fortunately, I'm to lazy to overthrow the established order.
Posted by: Paul A. | May 29, 2009 5:02 PM
"magnify himself above every god"
"God of gods"
I know I'm not reading this right, but I swear these passages have a distinct polytheistic feel to them.
Posted by: astrounit | May 29, 2009 5:06 PM
"...for that that is determined shall be done."
So, Who is responsible for all this "determining"?
Almighty God, Supreme Creator Who overlooks NOTHING in His Supreme Omniscience and Omnipotency, has everything in His Creation laid out, yes?
So He's created Evil as well as laid out the Whole Plan and Itinerary for the Fiendish One, His "Antichrist", no?
To test those miserable wretches on how they will respond, whether they will be loyal to Him in their worshipping, yes?
So His Absolutely, Positively, Unequivocally (God in His Eternal and Perfect Versatility is incapable of equivocation). His very most IMPORTANT Creation - human beings - were invested by Him to decide for THEMSELVES Who the Real Guy in Charge is, no?
Because people have to decide for themselves what's true and what isn't, and so God created the required doubt and the chance for people to be led astray from The True Path, yes?
So His Universe of "nature" allows chance and doubt and even evil to influence Parts of His Work, no?
God moves in Mysterious Ways, yes?
No.
"God" is nothing but a confabulation of dull imaginations that repeatedly dashes itself against the rocks of logical reality and enquiry, founders pathetically every time, yet is rescued every time with an appeal to "mystery".
Yessiree..."He" even wrote a Book outlining it ALL and His Plan...which seems a somewhat redundant exercise...Can "God" be redundant?
Is "He" or is "He" not Perfectly Versatile? If "He" is not, "He" has a shortcoming. If "He" is, "He" is capable of ANYTHING.
You know, even things like chance, probability, uncertainty...you know, like INDETERMINACY? And even genetic mutation caused by some cosmic ray or exposure to a nasty molecule which might just happen to permit an increasing diversity of forms by the selection of reproducing survivors in a systematic way...
We must also gloss over the glaring fact it happens to have a whole universe of missing details in it, which doesn't exactly qualify as a comprehensive description of ALL.
Does the God Book ever once mention anything ANYWHERE in its pages that prefigures any single scientific discovery from the actual Horse's Mouth of "His" putative Creation?
Anything at all?
Does it mention a 4.5-billion-year-old Earth and that the equally old Solar System consists of a STAR orbited by other worlds like ours? How about just that the world is ROUND? How about the fact that other planets have moons? How about those teeming cities full of billions of stars each called galaxies? BILLIONS of these star cities?
How about Quasars? Black holes? How about asteroid impacts and colliding worlds and exploding stars? (which have no doubt incinerated countless living beings throughout the universe...probably of "lesser importance" than humans with funny delusions). How about how stars live and die? About white dwarfs, neutron star pulsars and black holes? The forces of gravity and electromagnetism?
How about plate tectonics? Magnetic field reversals and that the evidence is found in magnetic rocks on sea-floor rocks on either side of a spreading mid-ocean ridge? How about polar bears? Penguins? Marsupials? The fact that Monarch butterflies and birds migrate thousands of miles every year on a pair of continents far away? and that some seabirds circumnavigate almost the entire Pacific OCEAN annually? Hairy elephants that lived in the far north? Dinosaurs who lived just about everywhere up until about 65 million years ago?
How about evolution of organisms (according to evidence, FACT) via cumulative natural selection (extremely well supported THEORY of such evolution based on the FACTS of evidence)?
How about any math at all besides a "reported measurement" of the length and breadth of a sea-worthy ark (in "cubits") purported to have preserved every land creature on the planet during a world-wide flooding episode?
How about the God Book teaching its readers about how to properly conduct a scientific method of thinking, observing, measuring, and deducing the results of findings to a coherent understanding of that part of "His Creation" that could not be fitted into "His Book"?
Where the HELL is any of that in the God Book?
It's not there. NONE of nature is there.
That's funny...hmmm...what the heck is going on?
Yet this alleged "information" is "studied" endlessly for clues that forecast what the future holds?
Nobody searches it thoroughly for clues on how to reliably obtain "further details" directly from "His Work"?
"God" evidently must have had a hack ghost-writer to assemble it. Too bad "God" didn't hire better talent to characterize "His Work".
Can "God", in His Total Versatility" possibly be so incompetent and grievously prone to mistakes that "He" hires incompetent liars who like to make things up? And that "God" LOVES the contemporary asswipe who then interprets "His Word" as the "Truth"? (And then threatens people with, "OR ELSE???). Yes?
The promotion of this sort of this nonsense doesn't just flirt with misconception and error or even inconsistencies. Any promotion is out-and-out flat-out full-blast LYING.
Some of them even KNOW it. DOUBLE LIARS. They don't care. They have a "faith" in
their "belief" and they are actually willing to take the whole world down with them just to preserve what is, in the end, their right to hold a "fancy". (Or their to steal extravagant amounts of money by hoodwinkery).
Free speech and freedom to do business, yes?
Because "It is Written", yes?
NOBODY denies it IS a fantastically profitable enterprise, even the con-meisters. The money carries much of the inertial weight of it. That is the extent of their devotion to "God"...the WHOLE of it.
Posted by: Paul A. | May 29, 2009 5:12 PM
"magnify himself above every god"
"God of gods"
I know I'm not reading this right, but I swear these passages have a distinct polytheistic feel to them.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 29, 2009 5:15 PM
Welcome to the Old Testament. You must be new here.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 29, 2009 6:17 PM
In my opinion God is a made up figure to enforce control over humans and somebody created him because otherwise we'd just wage war and end up destroying our civilization before it started. People who follow the ways of god (my opinion take no offence) are people who are afraid of life afraid of it's truth, afraid of the darkness. They are unintelligent and are blind to this Earth. They cannot see this planet's marvels because they are bound by beliefs of a 'God'. I have seen no acts of God all i see is pain and suffering. People need their chains broken. The human race needs freedom. Freedom to do as we please. Those who commit crimes should be killed, tortured infact. Yet they live on most of the time. We need a new world order...
Posted by: A Dog Smirk
|
May 30, 2009 2:03 AM
uppity cracka@104
Must be a gay fish.
Posted by: Míl Espáine | May 30, 2009 12:59 PM
You are ... a stupid pos.
Posted by: Pete Schult | May 31, 2009 3:51 AM
When I first read *The Antichrist* by Nietzsche, it resonated with me, so I suppose it could be me except for the fact that I "regard ... the desire for women." But somewhere on my hard drive there's a file with the lord's prayer backwards, and I don't think my computer desires women, despite its predilection to download porn, so maybe it's the antichrist.
Posted by: LindaO | June 6, 2009 2:19 AM
Since the anti-Christ will mock Our Lord in every way, he will NOT be romantically involved with a woman. The anti-Christ will be TOTALLY ABSORBED with world power--not sex with a woman...or a man!
The coming NEW WORLD ORDER will lead to the rise of the anti-Christ out of the European Union (probably Spain). We are living in the Latter Days (described in the Bible), so I hope you scouffers start saving your souls by changing your hearts.
Posted by: Ichthyic | June 6, 2009 2:36 AM
so I hope you scouffers start saving your souls by changing your hearts.
...and I hope you morons learn how to spell before being raptured.
aww fuck it, someone blow a goddamn trumpet already.
Posted by: mark | June 26, 2009 2:06 PM
obama has a gay background at his former church
he had several relationships he is trying to keep concealed
he is being blackmailed because of it
the info is out there
Posted by: mark | June 26, 2009 2:09 PM
obama is bisexual
the info is out there
he is hiding it
Posted by: Steve_C | June 26, 2009 2:12 PM
Mark. Fuck off. Go peddle your shit elsewhere.
If Obama is gay I'll support him even more.
Posted by: mark | June 26, 2009 2:14 PM
link didnt come up last 2 posts
http://www.americanfreepress.net/html/members_of_obama_s_church_kill.html
Posted by: dogmeatIB | June 26, 2009 2:17 PM
Christians have been predicting the end of the world for 2000 years now, just once I'd love it if, after they were wrong yet again, they would sit down and rethink this whole "end of the world" thing. But no, instead they just predict a new date and go on pretending that they weren't wrong the other 10,000 times.
Insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again all the while expecting a different outcome.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
June 26, 2009 2:18 PM
The Mark of the lying troll. Find an old thread to throw shit on.
Posted by: mark | June 26, 2009 2:34 PM
steve
just reporting facts
i know more than you potty mouth
i dont care about being gay- i care about people and the world
i dont support the guy - for everyones benefit- gay or straight
Posted by: mark | June 26, 2009 2:36 PM
steve
just reporting facts
antichrist is supposed to be gay
i know more than you potty mouth
i dont care about being gay- i care about people and the world
i dont support the guy - for everyones benefit- gay or straight
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 26, 2009 2:40 PM
"facts"
mark's definition of facts: Stuff I read on the Internet with no supporting evidence.
Care to show us your facts mark?
Posted by: mark | June 26, 2009 3:05 PM
don' refer to me in the third person when you address me
the difference between you and me is that i believe
9/11 is part of the conspiracey of todays events
the info is out there
what you choose to believe is up to you
obama is gay
the info is out there
what you choose to believe is up to you
do your own research in an unbiased way
you can not believe the mainstream media
learn to investigate, feel and trust
refer to post 253
http://www.americanfreepress.net/html/members_of_obama_s_church_kill.html
lots more info out there but i am not going argue and fight because you dont like my opinion
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
June 26, 2009 3:11 PM
Mark, repeating your shit doesn't make it true, only makes you look desparate and idiotic. Go peddle your lies elsewhere. We aren't interested.
Posted by: Knockgoats | June 26, 2009 3:13 PM
The coming NEW WORLD ORDER will lead to the rise of the anti-Christ out of the European Union (probably Spain). - LindaO
Hey, folks, let's see if we can get LindaO and Walton together! A shared conviction that the EU is the root of all evil should be enough to kindle a romantic spark, no?
Posted by: mark | June 26, 2009 3:18 PM
were's your research?????
just attitude
i find that the attitude mysteriously disappears
with a face to face encouneter
tuff from far
far from tuff
do your own research
i look forword to looking you in the eye
Posted by: Sastra
|
June 26, 2009 3:20 PM
mark #259 wrote:
Uh huh. It's not that we don't like your opinion: it's that we think it's unsupported nonsense. And yes, looking at your link to American Free Press (America's Last Real Newspaper!), there certainly is lots more
infocrazy stuff out there.Mark, don't you know that the American Free Press is simply a front group for a secret unholy alliance between the Illuminati, the Trilateral Commission, and the French Freemasons? Funded, of course, by the Bilderberg Zionist conspiracy at the Vatican. C'mon, don't kid us, or yourself. You know it is.
Wheels within wheels, my friend. Wheels within wheels.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 26, 2009 3:22 PM
Mark needs to refill his tinfoil supply, I think his hat is wearing thin.
Mark needs to grow up and quit believing in fairy tales.
Mark thinks it is because we don't like his opinion when the truth is we know mark is fucking loony toons.
Mark also things that his link is a legitimate source for anything other than stroking off to his conspiracy theory right wing masturbatory fantasies.
I bet Mark is a Freeper too.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 26, 2009 3:26 PM
Mark fancies himself a tough guy.
I bet mark thinks we're frightened.
I wonder if mark will flex for us
Posted by: Watchman | June 26, 2009 3:36 PM
Forgive me for nit-picking, but isn't it impossible to address someone in the third person?
Posted by: Knockgoats | June 26, 2009 3:41 PM
mark,
Come back when you've learned to spell and use upper-case letters. Does you mommy know you're talking to grown-ups on the interwebs?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 26, 2009 3:41 PM
shhhhhhhhh
He might not get it.
Posted by: Watchman | June 26, 2009 3:51 PM
Wow, Victor Thorn's closing paragraph is pretty rich stuff:
And what a resume he's got!
Volume 3 is, of course, The Murder Volume. At least Thorn makes an effort to be non-partisan:
Posted by: dogmeatIB | June 26, 2009 3:56 PM
the difference between you and me is that i believe
9/11 is part of the conspiracey of todays events
The administration that botched Iraq and couldn't figure out a way to plan weapons there to justify their war managed a flawless attack on the World Trade Center with zero leaks in nearly 8 years?
Riiiiight.
obama is gay
the info is out there
what you choose to believe is up to you
You base this claim on a story told by Larry Sinclair? The guy who failed BOTH of his polygraph tests that he requested? The guy convicted on multiple felony fraud charges and admitted drug smuggler?
Riiiight...
Posted by: Watchman | June 26, 2009 4:01 PM
Oh c'mon, dogmeatIB. You've got to learn to investigate, feel and trust.