…and this is a 
It's called the Reincarnation Bank. You put a bunch of money in now, and then when you die and are reincarnated, your new incarnation comes to bank and gets the money back so you can start your new life with the advantage of a wad of moolah. I presume you must have to do something like memorize a secret account number before you die, and remember it again once you're reborn.
Their web page has a link to make deposits, but strangely enough, there isn't a link to make withdrawals. I have to marvel at the con — only very, very stupid people are going to fall for it.
That said, though, I'm planning to reincarnate as a squid, so I'm wondering…can I deposit a couple of buckets of fish heads and guts, and how am I going to get that back in my nonverbal, illiterate and innumerate form?
Comments
Posted by: SourBlaze | May 25, 2009 8:57 AM
Check out what this VenomFangX-wannabe pulled.
It's so funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtBzZeYOIYg
Posted by: Brian Coughlan | May 25, 2009 9:01 AM
Damn ... missed opportunity!
Posted by: MAJeff, OM | May 25, 2009 9:02 AM
I checked out the Terms and Conditions:
1. No verbal or special arrangements shall be made to the live client or the deceased estate other than those embodied in this agreement.
2. The client or the client’s estate indemnifies 2i Limited, its directors or its agents against any claims arising in consequence of any or all deposits and investments in pursuance of this agreement.
3. No claim can be made prior to the age of majority, majority age being an age after the date of the clients demise. All claims may be subject to verification through regression.
The last one makes me think they're after Edina Monsoon.
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble | May 25, 2009 9:05 AM
Dear Professor Myers,
This is no scam! We have a bank just like that in Noo Zillund. It is called Westpac, and just last week it paid out ten million to a young couple who are the reincarnations of Louis the Sixteenth and Anne Boleyn. We know this is who they were in their previous lives because they have completely lost their heads in this one and are reportedly blowing their entire reincarnation investment at a casino in Macao.
Scoff not at what yee dinna ken (I say, being a reincarnation of Braveheart).
Yours in prayer for your damned soul,
S. Batzrubble.
Posted by: Agi Hammerthief
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May 25, 2009 9:05 AM
let's see what aa419 has to say about this scam
Posted by: Bryn | May 25, 2009 9:05 AM
A joke, maybe? I thought so when I saw this in the "Terms and Conditions": "All claims may be subject to verification through regression." And remember you can transfer money to them by wire, but cars and jewellry have to be sent to them in Gibralter!
They also have a link to their other business ("Zen" wishing pots?!?) where they say, "A final word of warning, this site is so powerful be careful what you wish for as it will eventually come true. Remember, a wish can be made in a moment and change a lifetime." So, yeah. Probably serious. Or a scam. Or just a serious scam.
Posted by: Mbee | May 25, 2009 9:13 AM
I'm going to sign up, make a deposit and then ask for an advance on the interest that it will earn after I'm dead.
Posted by: PaulJ | May 25, 2009 9:21 AM
This sounds like a variation on Douglas Adams' Restaurant at the End of the Universe, to which you time-travel after depositing one penny in a savings account. The action of compound interest means that your fabulously expensive meal has been paid for.
Posted by: Clemens | May 25, 2009 9:53 AM
Be careful PZ, some smart-ass might call a Poe on that. Isn't it totally obvious? Ahm... you know.
Posted by: BAllanJ | May 25, 2009 9:57 AM
Reminds me a bit of the electronics data sheet I once saw for a new electronics chip... WOM... a Write Only Memory.
(ie, you can't read the memory, just write to it...I'm afraid most of my wet-ware memory is like that)
Posted by: Dantresomi | May 25, 2009 9:59 AM
1. this would make a great movie.
2. even if they were honest, you know they would not just ask for account number, user name, and pass word, I am sure they will ask those dang secret questions I NEVER seem to remember.
3. why didn't i think of this?
Posted by: Dantresomi | May 25, 2009 10:01 AM
1. this would make a great movie.
2. even if they were honest, you know they would not just ask for account number, user name, and pass word, I am sure they will ask those dang secret questions I NEVER seem to remember.
3. why didn't i think of this?
Posted by: T_U_T | May 25, 2009 10:15 AM
suggestion. Choose a planet where squids evolved civilization and FTL ships. Then you can come back and ask your money ( along with conquering this mudball in the name of rationality :-) )
Posted by: Romeo Vitelli
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May 25, 2009 10:15 AM
"and how am I going to get that back in my nonverbal, illiterate and innumerate form?"
Just write a note. You'd have plenty of ink.
Posted by: Extended Gorilla
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May 25, 2009 10:35 AM
Smoky Batzrubble @ 4, you owe me for a new monitor. Mine's covered in tea.
Posted by: Douchey France
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May 25, 2009 10:36 AM
Does this bank also loan money?
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble | May 25, 2009 10:42 AM
Dear Erected Gorilla,
You can have my monitor back in Noo Zillund. I'm currently incarcerated at your government's pleasure and have no need of it for the foreseeable future. It is a good monitor, although a little sticky in places. But do not worry--the stickiness licks off, and it is high in protein.
Yours in Christian sharing,
Smoggy Batzrubble
Posted by: XD | May 25, 2009 12:39 PM
I like money
Posted by: lytefoot | May 25, 2009 1:11 PM
Didn't Dilbert do this joke recently? It sounds like a Dogbert plan I saw somewhere.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 25, 2009 1:18 PM
Hmmm - didn't we have this about a year ago? Only in that case it was Rapture insurance.
Posted by: Paul Gowder | May 25, 2009 1:37 PM
This is brilliant. But now I want to claim to be the reincarnation of someone and demand piles of money from them.
Posted by: Holbach
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May 25, 2009 2:39 PM
Can I pay in old Confederate money? And then when I return be repaid in crackers?
Be careful PZ, you might come back as Dr Zoidberg, puking up fish heads and guts of all sorts.
Posted by: Greg Lloyd
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May 25, 2009 2:51 PM
You know, the Scientologists have real discussions on this issue. They share made up stories with each other, of fellow Scientologists who have 'returned' and 'picked up another body', to make themselves feel right about their beliefs. The discussion eventually leads to what to do with your money, so that you can come back and get it. I don't know of any who actually sock away their money for an eventual return, though. I'm betting deep inside most don't trust that they will return.
Posted by: Art | May 25, 2009 3:02 PM
Nobody ever went broke overestimating the stupidity of man.
Passwords for squid? Can interpretive dance be used as an access key?
Having skin that changes color and pattern might also give you a usable key.
I'm not sure even a squid would want fish heads and gut if it was stored for very long. Even freezing has limitations.
Posted by: Renee | May 25, 2009 3:07 PM
Man, are they going to be so pissed when they die and go to hell instead.
Posted by: Renee | May 25, 2009 3:22 PM
Man, are they going to be so pissed when they die and go to hell instead.
Posted by: Basset_Fan | May 25, 2009 3:24 PM
Imus did a variation on this almost 30 years ago.
This is the Right Reverend Dr Billy Sol Hargus, coming to you from the First Church of the Gooey Death and Discount House of Worship. Put your hands on the radio.
Brothers and Sisters, everyone knows you can't take it with you, but now Dr Hargus wants you to know you can send it on ahead.
Say Amen.
Posted by: «bønez_brigade»
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May 25, 2009 5:09 PM
2i = "Too Imaginary"?
Posted by: fred c dobbs | May 25, 2009 5:52 PM
comedian marshall efron nailed this scam years ago with his 'close cover before striking bible school and discount house of worship...you can't take it with you but it can be there waiting when you arrive.'
Posted by: James | May 25, 2009 6:31 PM
I just wish I had thought of it first. A way to get wealthy people to sign their assets over to you completely with no way to recover them.
Is it too late to start one in Canada?
Posted by: James | May 25, 2009 6:34 PM
I just wish I had thought of it first. A way to get wealthy people to sign their assets over to you completely with no way to recover them.
Is it too late to start one in Canada?
Posted by: MadScientist | May 25, 2009 7:41 PM
I was just discussing the invention of "purgatory" with a religious friend of mine. I said it was a fantastic scam because your descendants had to pray for you and continue to pay the church a ransom through many future generations to ensure that you don't go to hell. However, that scheme may have ensured future income at the expense of the priests living at the time; at least with this bank idea the living get to profit from other people's money while they're alive. But tell me now - what is the difference between this bank and the stock market?
Posted by: David G. | May 25, 2009 7:50 PM
PZ Myers how do you read and write so much? I honestly didn't even think you would notice that recommendation. It's pretty uproariously funny, innit? Joke or not.
It's like you are a superhero whose superpower is literacy.
Posted by: vaibhav | May 25, 2009 9:03 PM
Actually its one of the most practical way to test the faith of the religious. If ppl believe in reincarnation y cant they sign up for this? I really want to know this from the faithful?
Posted by: David G. | May 25, 2009 10:35 PM
@#34 vaibhav: What use does a cow have for rupees?
Posted by: blf | May 26, 2009 2:04 AM
http://www.national.com/rap/files/datasheet.pdf
Besides the rather obvious jokes, and the silliness of the idea, there's quite a few in-jokes as well.
Apparently this was originally created to point out the uselessness of the review procedure at Signetics at the time: It went through the complete review cycle, was approved, and published in a Signetics catalogue. To the company's credit, after finally catching on, they eventually used the datasheet as an April Fools joke-ad. I don't know if the PDF link above (which seems to be a scan) is the original or the joke-ad version.
Posted by: Mr_Rose | May 26, 2009 7:00 AM
Connor MacLeod must be their best customer...
Posted by: pete | May 26, 2009 8:06 AM
Borrowing from the future, who'd do that?
Posted by: Adam W | May 26, 2009 8:37 AM
I just sent their "support staff" a question.
"After I have passed and reincarnated, how do I prove that I am who I am for the purpose of withdrawing my funds and or assets? How do you distinguish between a true claimant and someone claiming to be a reincarnated "me"?"
I will post their response -- if any.
On another note, I haven't brushed up on my international contracts law or what body of law controls a contract like this, but the "total indemnity" clause seems like something that would not be enforced in a court as against public policy or as unconscionable. And who has ever seen a "terms and conditions" section that is only 3 sentences long???
Posted by: Sid | May 26, 2009 9:11 AM
Bo Fowler wrote a very funny book on essentially these lines.
It's called Scepticism, Inc.
Well worth 0.01 of anyone's money.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Scepticism-Inc-Bo-Fowler/dp/0224051245/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243343371&sr=8-1
Posted by: Adam W. | May 26, 2009 10:12 AM
I have received a response from Reincarnation Bank! Here is the response from my initial inquiry (see comment #39), and my follow up question.
_____________________________________
"Hi Adam,
Upon making a deposit you must send information known only to yourself to the companies offices on Gibraltar. When you return and reach the age of majority (minimum 18 years from receipt of your letter and deposit) then regression will identify who you once were.
Eliott Trevesk"
______________________________________
Here is my follow up Question:
"Mr. Trevesk,
Thank you for your prompt reply to my inquiry. I have another question. What if I don't remember my past life and therefore have no way of verifying the information I put into my initial "identification letter"? Does Reincarnation Bank have a way to identify reincarnated customers and notify them upon reaching the age of majority?
I apologize for asking so many questions, but it has occurred to me that I could be reincarnated from a past life right now but I don't remember anything from that life. What if that happens again, will I lose my money? I want to have a full understanding of the process before I make a decision as to whether or not I deposit money with Reincarnation Bank.
Regards,
Adam W."
I'm trying to remain a "polite yet concerned potential customer" so I don't come off as someone *dun dun duunn* skeptical. Normally I would never apologize for asking questions like this.
Posted by: Jim
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May 26, 2009 10:34 AM
Yet another in the long list of ideas I wish I had come up with first.
Posted by: Adam W. | May 26, 2009 1:37 PM
I just received a reply from Reincarnation Bank concerning my second question. Here it is.
"Please read the terms and conditions.............."
Yes, that is how many periods he used. It's kind of like the "3 law" security in the movie I,Robot. I think I overloaded his system.
Posted by: mark | May 26, 2009 1:51 PM
Shoudn't this post be titled "There's one (re)born every minute"?
Posted by: geetha | May 27, 2009 2:02 AM
hi
Did anyone notice the following quote in their 'about' page.
"For the soul there is neither birth nor death at any time.
He has not come into being, does not come into being, and will not come into being.
He is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain.”
(Socrates to Salinger)
Who do they attribute it to - 'socrates to salinger'?
What does that mean?
I googled and found that the particular quote is from the bhagvad gita, which is a part of an ancient indian epic mahabharat.
Well, i am an atheist and i have seen a fair share of frauds in the name of religion. but this one takes the cake.
Posted by: geetha | May 27, 2009 2:04 AM
hi
Did anyone notice the following quote in their 'about' page.
"For the soul there is neither birth nor death at any time.
He has not come into being, does not come into being, and will not come into being.
He is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain.”
(Socrates to Salinger)
Who do they attribute it to - 'socrates to salinger'?
What does that mean?
I googled and found that the particular quote is from the bhagvad gita, which is a part of an ancient indian epic mahabharat.
Well, i am an atheist and i have seen a fair share of frauds in the name of religion. but this one takes the cake.
Posted by: The Other Ian | May 27, 2009 2:12 AM
Looks like the quote is pulled from this webpage: http://www.harekrishna.com/col/books/kr/cb/chapter1.html
Posted by: geetha | May 27, 2009 2:14 AM
sorry about the double post. i got a page load error message.
Posted by: Bree | May 27, 2009 5:56 PM
So, I was laughing so hard after reading the home page, that I just HAD to mention it to my co-worker... He spent the next 30 minutes explaining how it's a great investment and that there is proof of reincarnation, he rambled off a bunch of names of idiots that claim they're reicarnated... (his "proof")
I had to leave the room before I peed my pants.
Thanks for the laugh PZ!
Posted by: «bønez_brigade»
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May 27, 2009 10:27 PM
I'm surprised that nobody has yet pointed out this persuasive quote from the scammer's site:
The first line is the classic Xian rule-of-thumb.
Posted by: «bønez_brigade»
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May 27, 2009 10:37 PM
Testing current state of The Matrix...
----------
text + CR×0
CR×0 + text----------
text + CR×1
CR×1 + text
----------
text + CR×2
CR×2 + text
----------
text + CR×3
CR×3 + text
----------
...end of test.
Posted by: Dreamer | June 9, 2009 11:58 AM
Of course reincarnation is real! Didn't you people read about James, the little boy who is the reincarnation of a WWII pilot? He was featured on Good Morning America AND a beautiful, life-affirming segment on Primetime Live!
Posted by: Jeff Orchard | June 9, 2009 10:50 PM
Has anyone noticed that they've added a "withdrawal" link on their home page? I'm betting it has something to do with the attention they've had from us closed-minded folk.
Posted by: Jeff Orchard | June 9, 2009 10:52 PM
Has anyone noticed that they've added a "withdrawal" link on their home page? I'm betting it has something to do with the attention they've had from us closed-minded folk.
Posted by: Melody | June 16, 2009 8:13 AM
"So, I was laughing so hard after reading the home page, that I just HAD to mention it to my co-worker... He spent the next 30 minutes explaining how it's a great investment and that there is proof of reincarnation, he rambled off a bunch of names of idiots that claim they're reicarnated... (his "proof")"
That's the thing though...even IF you totally, 100% accept reincarnation as real, this would still be really incredibly unwise (to put it lightly). After all, if you believe that everyone is reincarnated (as you must believe there is a very significant chance of being reincarnated to do this) - think of all the people who DON'T have "memories".
Even if it's accepted at face value that all of us who don't "remember" past lives is just because we don't believe hard enough in reincarnation or are not spiritually well enough or whatever excuse is used, how do they know that the one they're born as will be "spiritually perfect" enough to remember their past life? Then again, I suspect that for someone to buy into this, logic would not be their strong point.
Posted by: tolga | July 1, 2009 9:03 PM
of reincarnation, he rambled off a bunch of names of idiots that claim they're reicarnated... (his "proof")
I had to leave the room before I peed my pants.
Posted by: tolga | July 1, 2009 9:06 PM
of reincarnation, he rambled off a bunch of names of idiots that claim they're reicarnated... (his "proof")
I had to leave the room before I peed my pants.
Posted by: spudferatu | July 9, 2009 7:36 PM
Good to see somebody coming up with a fresh grift.
I guess the worst-case scenario would be a credulous person depositing all their money in the reincarnation bank, kicking the bucket, and then being reincarnated as a skeptic (because no self-respecting skeptic would ever stoop to attempting a claim for withdrawal).
Their logo looks like a "safety revolver" with the trigger prudently far from the grip.
Posted by: spudferatu | July 9, 2009 7:41 PM
Good to see somebody coming up with a fresh grift.
I guess the worst-case scenario would be a credulous person depositing all their money in the reincarnation bank, kicking the bucket, and then being reincarnated as a skeptic (because no self-respecting skeptic would ever stoop to attempting a claim for withdrawal).
Their logo looks like a "safety revolver" with the trigger prudently far from the grip.
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