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Category: Pointless polls
Posted on: June 17, 2009 9:02 AM, by PZ Myers
The Republicans are asking the party faithful to fill out a biased poll. The purpose is not to get a snapshot of public opinion, but to mislead people by presenting leading questions. Or, as Mike Haubrich explains it:
The point of push-polling in politics is not to gather opinion, it is to "push" towards a certain viewpoint by exposing the opposite viewpoint as being untenable.
If you've got a few minutes and want to cause some bafflement among conservative pollsters, have fun with it.
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Comments
Posted by: Kobra | June 17, 2009 9:13 AM
Done. Signed it as Mr. DS FARGEG
Posted by: Zeno | June 17, 2009 9:20 AM
As fake polls go, this is a particularly ripe example. Only an idiot would fail to realize that the results are foreordained. Fortunately for the GOP, idiots are currently their base demographic.
They also left out the question "Do you support the Obama Democrats' plans to rape our daughters and sodomize our sons in the name of equal rights?" But I guess WorldNetDaily is on the job for that one.
Posted by: speedwell | June 17, 2009 9:22 AM
Blocked from work. Oh, well, will try later.
Posted by: Alverant | June 17, 2009 9:23 AM
I noticed the poll never referred to Obama as the President.
Posted by: Savage | June 17, 2009 9:23 AM
When you see the picture on the blog; do the young on the left pray: “Please Father, don’t let me be raped like the Irish children in Your care?”, or do they really pray for the ghost on the cross?
Posted by: booger | June 17, 2009 9:27 AM
Anyone figure out how to view the results without donating?
Posted by: Helene | June 17, 2009 9:36 AM
When you finish the poll, you are immediately tracked to a page requesting a donation - to help support the fight against evil and all. I used a junk e-mail and gave no address & I think it went through. Wonder if they'll use my answers.
Posted by: Susan | June 17, 2009 9:36 AM
In trying to expose the opposite viewpoint as untenable, they've only succeeded in painfully highlighting the fact that they have no viable solutions to the problems their administration caused. I suggested they come up with some good ideas of their own.
Posted by: booger | June 17, 2009 9:39 AM
Susan, this is politics. You don't need any good ideas, you just need to point out that the other guy is an idiot. Fortunately, for us liberal types, the only people Republicans can convince that Obama is an idiot are other Republicans.
Posted by: Frank | June 17, 2009 9:39 AM
Do you support lying poll questions like this one?
18. Do you support Democrats' drive to eliminate workers' right to a private ballot when considering unionization of their place of employment?
I took the poll. I have to go bleach my keyboard now.
Posted by: Bob O'H | June 17, 2009 9:43 AM
I wonder if one can donate negative money?
Posted by: bybelknap, FCD | June 17, 2009 9:43 AM
I answered the "wrong" way on all questions, and in my comment suggested that the GOP could best serve the public by disbanding as a political party. I used a real snail mail address and a real email address. Fuck 'em. The bastards.
Posted by: robhoofd | June 17, 2009 9:45 AM
"Do you support Obama's communist, puppy-eating, child-raping, God-murdering, black supremacy terrorist regime?"
Posted by: cedgray
|
June 17, 2009 9:55 AM
One of the first rules of good propaganda: you don't necessarily need to control what people think, you just need to control what they think *about*.
Hence politicians not answering questions actually put to them, but instead answering a question they hastily and subtly substitute.
Posted by: spurge | June 17, 2009 10:07 AM
Is this what they refer to as a straw pole?
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
|
June 17, 2009 10:16 AM
I think we're killing the site, or at least making it cry a lot.
Posted by: Nichole | June 17, 2009 10:16 AM
I told them this sweet joke from Sunshine Megatron in the last "question."
"A conservative and a liberal walk into a bar. The bartender says "You can have a beer in a blue glass or a red glass. They're exactly the same, but you fucking idiots will swear one is better than the other. What, the world doesn't put you into a box often enough; you have to willingly put yourself in a box too? Damn it! Why do I keep serving symbolism!"
roflroflrofl
Posted by: Sarah | June 17, 2009 10:19 AM
Wow, calling the questions biased (not to mentioned loaded) would be a gross understatement.
Posted by: RamblinDude
|
June 17, 2009 10:19 AM
Well, that was fun (except now I feel like I have Glenn Beck spittle all over me, ewwwwwww...)
I left this, too
Posted by: littlejohn | June 17, 2009 10:21 AM
That was fun! It was obvious what the "wrong" answers were, so of course I checked them all. The comments at the end were fun too. I recommended that Repubs start wearing their underwear over their regular clothes so we can make sure it's clean (apologies to Woody Allen in "Bananas").
Posted by: Postman | June 17, 2009 10:22 AM
My personal favorite question was:
"Do you agree with Obama the Antichrist and the Demislamunists that babies should be served with sprouts and white wine?"
Posted by: catgirl | June 17, 2009 10:22 AM
I actually had a telephone poll sponsored by the Republican party recently. It was amazingly unbiased, but out-of-date. They asked if I would be more likely to vote for our current Republican governor, or one of the Democratic candidates running in the primaries. This was several days after the primaries were over and there was a clear Democratic candidate for governor.
Posted by: littlejohn | June 17, 2009 10:23 AM
That was fun! It was obvious what the "wrong" answers were, so of course I checked them all. The comments at the end were fun too. I recommended that Repubs start wearing their underwear over their regular clothes so we can make sure it's clean (apologies to Woody Allen in "Bananas").
Posted by: BeamStalk | June 17, 2009 10:25 AM
I was surprised they didn't use Hussein at all in the poll.
Posted by: Heaventree
|
June 17, 2009 10:25 AM
Unfortunately for me, I live in the Congressional district of "Dr." Tom Price [as he invariably puts it]. I get postcards in the mail all the time with these sorts of questions. The latest said something like this: "Do you want your family to pay thousands of dollars more every year to combat the 'threat' of global warming, based on unproven Democrat science?"
"Dr." Tom Price is an asswipe of the first magnitude.
Posted by: jemand | June 17, 2009 10:30 AM
in the last question... I told them republicans could best serve domestic interests by "all moving to Somolia and getting out of our way"
Posted by: Mike Haubrich, FCD | June 17, 2009 10:31 AM
Hey, sorry about any delays. My server dudes are trying to handle the Pharyngulations.
Posted by: catgirl | June 17, 2009 10:44 AM
The copious scar quotes throughout the poll are just precious!
Posted by: blueelm | June 17, 2009 10:49 AM
Well I didn't pay much attention to the emotional framing of the questions and answered exactly as I thought was correct. Some how I have a feeling those were mostly the "wrong answers" but I gave them my honest opinion at the end. I told them that I would like to see the Republican party move away from the religious right and the motivations of "religious morality" in order to focus on the health of the economy rather than what other people are doing with their bodies. I said I'd love to see the government stop wasting money on the war on drugs, to drop women's bodies as a platform issue, and to stop pushing Christianity. Some how I don't think they'll appreciate the advice though.
Posted by: a different phil | June 17, 2009 10:53 AM
Just for the record, www.mailinator.com is a great source of disposable email addresses.
Posted by: John Phillips, FCD
|
June 17, 2009 11:01 AM
I think us ilk must be breaking their server as I either keep getting error messages or timeouts.
Posted by: Dan Gilbert | June 17, 2009 11:08 AM
OMG that was horrible. I answered every question with the answer they were NOT looking for, even if a couple of them were painful. LOL!
I'm not a fan of 100% of what Obama is doing, but I like most of what he's doing and think that he's far, far better than having the Jesus party controlling our government.
I just wish that Democrats didn't control both houses of Congress as well as the presidency. I'm of the opinion that it's always better when the power is split.
Posted by: drdale | June 17, 2009 11:24 AM
Unfortunately for me the GOP didn't accept a negative number for the monthly donation. I also hope that they will read and accept comments that exceed "completing the sentence".
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
|
June 17, 2009 11:35 AM
So is owning your own domain, which is why I get 3500 spam emails a day. Hee hee.
Posted by: DLC | June 17, 2009 11:37 AM
Much of that poll's "Obama wants to . . ." list is generic republican "be afraid of this because" stuff. So, I guess they don't actually care what President Obama wants to do, they're just going to push the party line.
How they expect to get anywhere with "Be afraid of this" as their party line I don't know.
Posted by: Joshua White | June 17, 2009 11:38 AM
@ KOBRA
FGFDS
Posted by: Jenny | June 17, 2009 11:52 AM
@ #9:
18. Do you support Democrats' drive to eliminate workers' right to a private ballot when considering unionization of their place of employment?
Do you know what this is referring to? The "Employee Free Choice Act" will allow unions to collect signature cards instead of a private ballot. That means that union organizers may feel free to intimidate their co-workers, since they will know who has signed a pro-unionization card and who hasn't. How is that a "free choice"? If the election fails and all your co-workers voted in favor, and know you didn't, then where does that leave you?
Shouldn't workers have the right to decide for themselves, via a secret ballot, whether or not they want to unionize?
This is nothing but a push from Big Labor to forcibly unionize companies where many workers are happy without unions.
Read Atlas Shrugged if you want to see where this is headed.
Posted by: Dragonfly310
|
June 17, 2009 11:57 AM
Wait, there's a donation option at the end of the poll? What?!? The Republicans have a lot of nerve asking for more money after they've left the economy in this condition.
Posted by: Prometheus | June 17, 2009 11:57 AM
I'm not sure what is being accomplished by gloating over these spasms and twitches, like we conquered The Legion of Doom, unless you happen to think a one party system is a good idea.
It's kind of like sticking a toothpick in a dead smelt, thumbing your chest and shouting "Call me Queequeg!".
Posted by: Joe
|
June 17, 2009 12:16 PM
Wow. I was going to answer honestly (and I agree with more than a few republican ideals). But when I saw how astoundingly biased the questions were, I said fuck it and answered completely opposite of what they wanted.
Posted by: catgirl | June 17, 2009 12:16 PM
Yes, because fictional, made-up stories are absolutely the best place to go for advice.
Posted by: Watchman | June 17, 2009 12:25 PM
Scha. Den. Freude.
The fuckers have it coming to them.
The "dead smelt" analogy (though hilarious, thank you!) fails, because the GOP is not dead. It's ailing from having shot itself in the foot repeatedly for a quarter-century. It'll be back, so it's wise for use moderates and lefties to have fun with the right-wing freakazoids while we can.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
|
June 17, 2009 12:31 PM
@41: That's how religions roll, catgirl.
Posted by: a different phil | June 17, 2009 12:57 PM
Have you "gone Galt" yet? If not, what are you waiting for? That pretty much describes the GOP completely.Posted by: Prometheus | June 17, 2009 12:58 PM
"It'll be back, so it's wise for use moderates and lefties to have fun with the right-wing freakazoids while we can."
Perhaps, but by being magnanimous we can excise a few growths while it's on its back.
Let us lance those fat cysts that formed when Reagan let the fundies inject themselves into the body politic.
Schadenfreude rocks, but I'll sacrifice a few lulz for Machiavellian opportunism.
The laugh is the same, but with the latter you get to act gracious rub your hands together.
Like when Boris Karloff invites a stranded tourist to stand closer to the fire.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 17, 2009 1:04 PM
oh just fucking great.
Now where did I put that can of Raid for Libertarians...
Posted by: Dan | June 17, 2009 1:12 PM
I would love it if the Republican party would put candidates forward for whom I could vote in good conscience, but they keep nominating people who attempt to legislate morality. I feel like they're trying to bribe me with lower taxes in return for my looking the other way while they strip civil rights from minorities.
I dislike many things about the Democratic party, but until the Republicans stop pandering to the religious right, how can I do anything but vote for the candidate most likely to beat the Republican? :(
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
June 17, 2009 1:37 PM
well, I feel a bit dirty for answering some of the questions the way I did, but fuck it, that was fun, hehe
Posted by: stogoe | June 17, 2009 1:40 PM
That might be true when there are two relatively sane political parties, instead of what we have - the "Cave to Coporate Interests" party and the "Sweet Fuck, you're stupid; how do you even remember to breathe?" party. At least the Democrats can be shamed into acting for the public good on some occasions.Jenny@37:
Stop being a fucking liar, you fucking liar. Card check is already a secret ballot; adding one more layer of 'secret ballot' at a time determined by management just lets them intimidate and fire pro-union employees.
But what the fuck am I doing arguing with a Shruggite jabberspout?
Posted by: Becca Stareyes | June 17, 2009 1:41 PM
I don't think a one-party system is a good idea. Problem is, the current Republican party manages to be odious enough to me that I won't vote for them in state and national elections (maybe local elections). Since currently, there are rarely competitive third-party candidates at the state level, and almost never at the national level, this means I am in a de facto one-party system -- as much as I might want to beat the Democrats with a cluebat, or get frustrated since Obama looks like he's dropped the ball on some issues I care about, the Republicans give every indication that they either ignore or actively work against 'people like me'.
What I want is for them to get their collective heads out of their asses and do something other than reactionary social conservatism and opposing whatever the Democrats do because the person who suggested it has a (D) after their name.
Posted by: Fred Mounts | June 17, 2009 1:44 PM
I would like Republicans to better lead on domestic policy by...
Committing mass suicide.
Posted by: some fellow | June 17, 2009 1:51 PM
Dick Hunter of 69 Lois Lane took the time to complete the survey.
Posted by: dogmeatIB | June 17, 2009 1:54 PM
Read Atlas Shrugged if you want to see where this is headed.
Because a crappy narcissistic muddle of "we're rich aren't we great!" is a sure indicator of the future. [rolls eyes]
Rand is right up there with my 5 worst authors, but to be fair, Hitler is all alone at #1, Mein Kampf reads like stereo instructions written by a deranged committee of badgers.
Posted by: Tom
|
June 17, 2009 1:57 PM
I didn't think Newt Gingrich had the time to fill it out so I filled it out for him.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | June 17, 2009 2:25 PM
This is… just… Bizarro World.
LOL!
Posted by: dogmeatIB | June 17, 2009 2:31 PM
Wow, talk about a pathetic poll. It phrases things in the absolute worst form possible even when it bothers to provide a reasonable interpretation of the position held by the Democratic party. There isn't a single question in the poll without a loaded phrasing, misleading presentation of positions of debate, questionable use of quotations, or outright lie/misrepresentation of the position held by the Obama administration or the Democratic party. If this actually represents the belief of the mainstream Republican, Obama only has to worry about f'ing up and pissing people off because there isn't going to be a legitimate Republican opponent as long as they embrace these wingnut positions.
Personally I am beginning to lean towards the idea that we do have a two party system. The liberal Democrats, who are most definitely not in power, and the moderate Democrats (Obama & co.) who are.
The liberal Democrats are upholding the positions of the former Democratic party.
The moderate Democrats are upholding the positions of the Republican party of ... I guess Eisenhower would be the last legitimate Republican.
The Republicans of today are ... barking at the moon, as far as I can tell.
Posted by: Master Mahan | June 17, 2009 3:11 PM
For #19, I answered that I wanted the GOP to start "officially investigating Barack Hussein Obama's actual place of birth. We need to see conservatives grow spines and stop acting like this man's doormats."
I figure, why make it easy for them?
Posted by: Dahan | June 17, 2009 3:20 PM
Once again my cat's e-mail address at Chess.com gets a workout.
Posted by: Knockgoats | June 17, 2009 3:38 PM
Read Atlas Shrugged if you want
to see where this is headedyour brain to leak out through your ears. - JennyFixed for you. No charge.
Posted by: Evolving Squid | June 17, 2009 3:39 PM
If you are goign to play there, don't forget about a fake email address:
http://www.10minutemail.com/10MinuteMail/index.html
(I put this in the wrong thread a moment ago)
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
June 17, 2009 3:43 PM
I have a jonk-e-mail address just for such occasions...
Posted by: AdamP | June 17, 2009 4:10 PM
John McCain at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue just filled his out.
His comment...
I believe that since mormons, catholics, and many large christian churches actively lobby politically, they have violated the laws that grant their tax-exempt status and should be taxed on the millions they con from people. The tax money should then be used to build a time machine so I can go back and rethink the whole Palin thing.
Posted by: Alan | June 17, 2009 4:12 PM
I would like the Republicans to lead in policy by...
...ceasing the creation of moronically biased and self-mocking polls with the express intent of oversimplifying issues in their favor.
Posted by: Skye | June 17, 2009 5:27 PM
I would actually advise people against answering "against" this poll. If they do plan on publishing the results here, being able to say that "65% of American's oppose X" is far more credible sounding than saying "98% of American's oppose X". By answering against the poll, you actually lend it an aura of legitimacy.
Of course, in the end, they could just make up numbers.
Posted by: Skye | June 17, 2009 5:31 PM
I would actually advise people against answering "against" this poll. If they do plan on publishing the results here, being able to say that "65% of American's oppose X" is far more credible sounding than saying "98% of American's oppose X". By answering against the poll, you actually lend it an aura of legitimacy.
Of course, in the end, they could just make up numbers.
Posted by: dogmeatIB | June 17, 2009 7:34 PM
Skye,
The interesting thing is, they structured this poll in such a way that, it only has a few purposes.
First, if they get more conservative respondents (rather than their normal party faithful) to poll, it was designed to give them stats in the 60% range, so if enough people went against their hoped angle, 50% or sub 50% results would force them to consider a few other options (at least in a rational world).
Second, if they targeted this at the party faithful, which it certainly looks like, getting numbers down in the 60% range wont have the desired effect of helping the hard core conservatives circle their wagons.
Finally, this poll was never designed to be openly released to the media. No one in their right mind would open this up for analysis, they would be made to look like complete idiots by even the most pathetic journalists.
Posted by: Anonymous Coward | June 17, 2009 7:36 PM
In the end they will have to make up numbers. Which only makes it more hilarious.
By the way, if can't think of a funny alias to use, http://kei.iichan.net/b/wakaba.html generates a random name for you when you post. Reading all the survey answers must be a boring task, let's lighten them up a bit.
Or, if you intend to be slightly more serious about it, you can use Google maps and the UPS zip lookup service to generate a valid faux adress for you.
Posted by: Wesley | June 17, 2009 10:33 PM
I can't disagree with many of the questions I looked over. So I refused to do the survey, because I can't honestly answer in a way that wouldn't imply that Republicans are any better on those fiscal issues.
Posted by: skepsci | June 18, 2009 4:27 AM
The whole point of a push poll is that the pollsters don't care about the results, and just regard the poll as advertising. The only statistic the pollsters care about is the number of people polled, and by posting it on his blog, I suspect PZ is doing them a favor.
Posted by: Matt Snodgrass | June 18, 2009 5:42 AM
My comment:
"Become a viable party again. This "poll" above, filled with questions that do not encompass the complexities of different issues, is a sham. Some of the thoughts promoted are also false, and I will not be answering those one "appropriately". I, like Specter, have simply had enough of this kind of politics and am going to be taking my vote away from those who have hijacked this party."
Posted by: mummybot | June 18, 2009 9:01 AM
"I would like Republicans to better lead on domestic policy by..." disbanding.
Posted by: Tumara Baap | June 18, 2009 2:55 PM
Did you enjoy answering that poll? Come to think of it, one can usurp a new identity every few minutes, and have some fun over and over again. Gingrich responded to the poll. So did one pensive McCain. But that should just be the beginning.
This poll deserves to be swamped. I'm sure all of you have seen polls/promotionals from Democratic leaning groups, like MoveOn, Sierra Club, Union of Concerned Scientists, The Nation and so forth. Their material is usually cogent. But this poll is not that of an ancillary group. It is spot-on the RNC. The questions utilize the tear down the straw man pitch to an extent that is beyond parody. Misleading. Dishonest. Stupid. It is telling that their target respondents won't cringe. It's a trend that started with Nixon who realized the mediocre of mind are more numerous and rubbing raw the wounds of self worth and harnessing primordial instincts of anger, hatred, fears and phobias is a winning formula. DeLay, Bush, Palin, Limbaugh are not accidental byproducts. They are consequence of a concerted twist with anti-intellectualism. And this pitiful RNC poll showcases that point abundantly.
Posted by: KRessler | June 19, 2009 12:30 AM
That was both vaguely amusing, and vaguely nauseating all at once.
"I would like Republicans to better lead on domestic policy by..." Going away. Far far far away.
Posted by: Wendy Cheang | June 23, 2009 6:09 PM
I filled out the poll saying that Obama was God. Take that you pretentious, self-righteous morons!
Honestly fighting Obama every step of the way is not going to work. I thought the GOP would be smart enough not to take Limbaugh seriously. Guess I was wrong.
Posted by: Wendy Cheang | June 23, 2009 6:09 PM
I filled out the poll saying that Obama was God. Take that you pretentious, self-righteous morons!
Honestly fighting Obama every step of the way is not going to work. I thought the GOP would be smart enough not to take Limbaugh seriously. Guess I was wrong.
Posted by: Wendy Cheang | June 23, 2009 6:11 PM
I filled out the poll saying that Obama was God. Take that you pretentious, self-righteous morons!
Honestly fighting Obama every step of the way is not going to work. I thought the GOP would be smart enough not to take Limbaugh seriously. Guess I was wrong.
Posted by: Wendy Cheang | June 23, 2009 6:11 PM
I filled out the poll saying that Obama was God. Take that you pretentious, self-righteous morons!
Honestly fighting Obama every step of the way is not going to work. I thought the GOP would be smart enough not to take Limbaugh seriously. Guess I was wrong.