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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
…and this is a pharyngula stage embryo.
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There is no other life; life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.
[Mark Twain, Mark Twain in Eruption]
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Category: Entertainment • Weirdness
Posted on: June 9, 2009 5:04 PM, by PZ Myers
I am now a cover model for CDs.
Look for me soon to be gyrating in a rock video, then comes the feature role in soft-core porn, then the drugs and parties, then the stint in rehab, and finally the special documentary on VH1. Oh, heck, I'm going all the way: I'm taking over for Ozzie once he retires.
This is all predicated on the album being a hit, of course. But how can it not? Not only do I grace the cover art, but it has songs like "The Ecstasy of Mallard" and "Going Gay for House".
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Comments
Posted by: Benny the Icepick | June 9, 2009 5:19 PM
I bought twelve!
Posted by: Chris Davis
|
June 9, 2009 5:20 PM
If you ever bite the head off an ocky I'll never visit your blog again.
Nice titles, though! I suppose I'll have to listen.
Posted by: Three Ninjas | June 9, 2009 5:22 PM
Wow, thanks, PZ! I hope you guys enjoy it!
Posted by: Sauve | June 9, 2009 5:25 PM
Bahaha.
Awesome.
Posted by: Glen Davidson
|
June 9, 2009 5:31 PM
Next thing I suppose you'll go so far as to say that life just arose without having to be created, and evolved into all the life we see.
That would be rich. I haven't even heard Ozzie say something like that. But with Satan whispering in your ear, you will learn to say anything the tempter tells you to.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
Posted by: Daniel de Rauglaudre
|
June 9, 2009 5:32 PM
I only see two ninjas...
Posted by: Red Fox | June 9, 2009 5:32 PM
This looks like the coolest album ever.
Posted by: Qwerty
|
June 9, 2009 5:34 PM
"a stint in rehab" - Does this mean you'll soon be posting from The Betty Ford Clinic after dishing the dirt with Liza Minelli?
Posted by: salon_1928 | June 9, 2009 5:40 PM
Whatever you do, just make sure to always wear underwear! The paparazzi are everywhere...
Posted by: Terskac | June 9, 2009 5:41 PM
http://cakeheadlovesevil.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/squid-porn/
Ran across this on Huffington Post a few weeks ago and thought of PZ. Its taking it a bit too far in my opinion but who am I to judge.
Posted by: MrFire | June 9, 2009 5:45 PM
Just promise us you don't then go and 'find Jesus'.
Posted by: daveau
|
June 9, 2009 5:49 PM
And then revert to Judaism.
Posted by: Don Smith | June 9, 2009 5:50 PM
But, you already have been gyrating in a rap video!
Posted by: Sili
|
June 9, 2009 5:50 PM
Awwwww. Who's a militant, ickle atheist? Is it youuuu? YUSH! You're a fierce, little atheist. :pinches cheek:
*aheghm* :straightens self:
Does she have a name?
Posted by: Carl | June 9, 2009 5:58 PM
Atually the music is interesting and weird
http://www.myspace.com/threeninjasmusic
Posted by: James F | June 9, 2009 6:03 PM
#6 Daniel de Rauglaudre wrote:
No, that's PZ and Squishable Octopus. You can't see the three ninjas.
Posted by: Hans | June 9, 2009 6:08 PM
And make sure you always, always, ALWAYS wear underwear.(shudder)
Posted by: Bill | June 9, 2009 6:08 PM
What is that freaky furry thing on the album cover and what is he holding?
Posted by: defective robot | June 9, 2009 6:10 PM
Isn't it supposed to be "...then the stint in rehab, then, as I hit rock bottom, I see the error of my ways, renounce all that materialistic wickedness, I'm born again and become a lay preacher, and finally the special documentary on VH1?"
Posted by: Spook | June 9, 2009 6:11 PM
The plural of ninja is "ninja" damnnit!
Posted by: Sili
|
June 9, 2009 6:13 PM
Yes, Spook,
And the plural of "ninjas" is "ninjas".
Hmmm - actually I think the plural of "ninja" is "ninjae". "Ninjas" would be the accusative (pl.).
Posted by: eddie
|
June 9, 2009 6:37 PM
No. The three ninjas were there. Just that their skills are such that they evaded being photographed.
See youtube for "ninja parade". I think it was the onion that made it.
Posted by: Carlie | June 9, 2009 6:48 PM
and finally the special documentary on VH1?"
I think it's special documentary on A&E complete with flash mob commercial.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
June 9, 2009 6:49 PM
Why is PZ cuddling a pink tooth?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
June 9, 2009 6:54 PM
More cephalopod bling from one of his fans. The pic is a few months old.Posted by: Benjamin Franklin | June 9, 2009 7:01 PM
That was no lady, that was my molar!
Posted by: Rob Clack | June 9, 2009 7:14 PM
I draw your attention to this poll about an AFA poll regarding a shooting at a military recruiting centre in Arkansas.
Posted by: flaq | June 9, 2009 7:33 PM
True. By the time you see them, you are already dead.Posted by: Louis | June 9, 2009 7:36 PM
Don't be bloody stupid. Ninja is CLEARLY first declension.
ninja (nominative, singular)
ninjae (vocative, singular)
ninjam (accusative, singular)
ninjae (genitive, singular)
ninjae (dative, singular)
ninja (ablative, singular)
ninjae (nominative, plural)
ninjae (vocative, plural)
ninjas (accusative, plural)
ninjarum (genitive, plural)
ninjis (dative, plural)
ninjis (ablative, plural)
So it depends on what you are doing to the ninjas, or more importantly what they are doing to you, as to which suffix ninja takes.
And as we all know from Monty Python's Life of Brian, under certain circumstances ninja takes the locative.
Now write it out a hundred times before morning or I'll cut your balls off.
Sergeant Major: Right! Stop that, it's silly.
Louis
Posted by: Kimpatsu | June 9, 2009 7:37 PM
Phil is going to be soooo jealous!
Posted by: Kimpatsu
|
June 9, 2009 7:39 PM
Phil is going to be soooo jealous!
Posted by: tim Rowledge | June 9, 2009 7:41 PM
Just be sure it's not magic underwear.And I wouldn't Go Gay for House but I'd surely go loopy for Cameron...
Posted by: J. D. Mack | June 9, 2009 8:00 PM
This guy is pretty smart. He realizes that if PZ can crash an Internet poll (all of them, actually), he can make an unknown musician into a star.
Posted by: coathangrrr | June 9, 2009 8:05 PM
This week on Behind the Science, PZ Myers descent into the seedy underbelly of drugs a squid.
Posted by: coathangrrr | June 9, 2009 8:08 PM
This week on Behind the Science, PZ Myers descent into the seedy underbelly of drugs and squid.
Posted by: Epikt
|
June 9, 2009 8:19 PM
So when's your appearance on Oprah?
Posted by: MikeM | June 9, 2009 8:24 PM
Pat Robertson wants to know more about "The Ecstacy of Mallard." Just so you know.
http://www.entertonement.com/clips/cgwtrjwqrf--Sex-With-Ducks-the-Music-Video-by-Garfunkel-and-Oates
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | June 9, 2009 8:34 PM
OOoohh, can you get me Britney's autograph?
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
June 9, 2009 8:36 PM
If I were a man, I'd go gay for House, too.
Posted by: Dr Paisley | June 9, 2009 8:53 PM
Oh, heck, I'm going all the way: I'm taking over for Ozzie once he retires.
Um, dude, the Nelsons are dead (except for David). But if you can get a sitcom, that's cool, too.
Posted by: Newfie | June 9, 2009 8:54 PM
Is the thrill that'll get you, when you get your picture
On the cover of the Three Ninjas CD.
Posted by: GeoffR
|
June 9, 2009 8:57 PM
PZ this new cuddly image is a bit unnerving and doesn't really seem convincing.
Like a Rottweiler with a pink bow round his neck :-)
Posted by: Benjamin Geiger | June 9, 2009 9:18 PM
You're not booping foulmouthed to booping fill Ozzy's booping shoes.
Wait, I can't say 'boop'? This is a load of bullboop.
Posted by: Lauren Ipsum | June 9, 2009 9:38 PM
What are the chances of getting Hugh Laurie to show up in the video? mmmmmmm House
Posted by: Romeo Vitelli | June 9, 2009 9:55 PM
"Have a fucking baby?"
You'd think a CD with PZ on the cover would be more academic in tone. "Have a fornicating infant", perhaps?
Posted by: MadScientist | June 9, 2009 10:21 PM
"... and visions of PZ with his fluffy pink octopus danced through their heads."
(from the Modernized Christmas Poems for Children)
Posted by: Rick R | June 9, 2009 10:29 PM
#12- "And then revert to Judaism."
Actually, if he's going to go gay for House, he could convert to "Judyism".
(Stupid, but funny, gay Judy Garland joke.)
Posted by: atomjack | June 9, 2009 10:52 PM
@28: I can see the ninjas through my 'scope, 800 yards out. They are wandering around, looking for the "bad guy", with those silly hoods that obscure their vision. Too late...they can't really slice the supersonically speeding slugs.
Posted by: Interrobang | June 9, 2009 10:57 PM
That's cuter than should be allowed by law.
Posted by: Craig | June 9, 2009 11:10 PM
I don't know, Louis, I thought it went like this:
Nominative ниндзя ниндзи
Genitive ниндзи ниндзь
Dative ниндзе ниндзям
Accusative ниндзю ниндзь
Instrumental ниндзей ниндзями
Prepositional ниндзе ниндзях
:)
Posted by: Rorschach | June 9, 2009 11:13 PM
Not ever !
*Shudders*
Posted by: Kobra | June 9, 2009 11:26 PM
Going Gay For House? Wow. I mean, I was kinda hoping these people had taste*. How can we tell that their music is any good and not just a product of masturbatory narcissism?
* I cannot suggest anyone better, mostly because I'm not gay but also because I have no knowledge of celebrities whatsoever. I just felt like making fun of them.
Posted by: Three Ninjas | June 9, 2009 11:38 PM
@Kobra:
The music is good *and* a product of masturbatory narcissism.
And there is only one of me. I'm Three Ninjas. Hi.
Posted by: DagoRed | June 10, 2009 1:31 AM
The music is...a product of masturbatory narcissism.
...that describes ALL modern music, doesn't it?
(except Frank Zappa, of course)
Posted by: Whatevermachine | June 10, 2009 2:29 AM
Somehow I don't think even Bill O could look at this image of PZ and say 'this is surely the face of a vile, militant atheist.'...
I mean, damn... it's just so bloody CUTE. I want to adopt both of them.
And I really, really want to hear the lyrics to a song called 'have a fucking baby' - is this a republican anthem or something?
Posted by: Martin Christensen | June 10, 2009 3:10 AM
Well, nice enough, but next time, maybe it wouldn't be such a horrible idea to get someone with a modicum of photography skills involved in the making of the cover. Take a commenter like Marcus Ranum who has a modicum of talent (and then some, and then a bit more). Hell, I could even do it myself. It's okay that the cover looks cheap and cheesy, just as long as it isn't.
Martin
Posted by: Kobra | June 10, 2009 3:12 AM
@53: So, do you have like a sample song anywhere or do we have to purchase a copy to hear it?
Posted by: JAMSHED MOIDU | June 10, 2009 3:44 AM
PZ......this one is better for you NOT SCIENCE!
Posted by: Ichthyic | June 10, 2009 3:50 AM
Jamshed's shedding fur again.
FFS, can't you park yourself in one thread and stay there?
You're both stupid AND boring.
...and your hero, Oktar, is a convicted criminal.
Posted by: JAMSHED MOIDU | June 10, 2009 3:59 AM
#Ichthyic
till you show the EVIDENCE for evolution ..i will be there with you till my SA node stops generating electrical impulse...
Posted by: Kel | June 10, 2009 4:04 AM
JAMSHED, did you ever answer the responses I gave you in the other thread? Or are you insisting on just trolling?
Posted by: John Morales | June 10, 2009 4:06 AM
Martin Christensen:
Eh?Posted by: Kel | June 10, 2009 4:22 AM
Here's a question, what evidence would YOU accept counts as evidence for evolution? There's so much evidence that scientists who are actual biologist say is evidence, but what would you accept?Would you accept genetic markers that demonstrate common ancestry with chimpanzees? Would you accept the pattern of anatomical features throughout the animal kingdom? What about fossils that show transitional stages between different clades or even different anatomical features? What about observed instances of speciation? What about observed instances of natural selection? Of mutation bringing novel features? Would you accept the similarities of DNA forming a similar pattern to similarities in comparative morphology?
I'm betting you're willing to say there's no evidence because there is no evidence that YOU accept. While there's millions of papers published in biology, not a single experiment, not a single piece of evidence collected, nothing has contradicted the theory of evolution, while time and time again these experiments adhere to the pattern of evolution. Life evolved, just because you don't accept that there is evidence it doesn't mean that evidence doesn't exist. There's plenty of evidence, the only barrier is your personal incredulity.
Posted by: chris | June 10, 2009 5:10 AM
Jamshed, You want evidence of evolution? Look in a mirror! You probably won't like it, but even you are a product of evolution. You won't like it? Hell I don't like the idea that someone as misguided and ridiculous as you shares the same evolutionary traits as the majority of posters on this site, but I accept it.
Posted by: Rorschach | June 10, 2009 5:10 AM
Can we please already remove the Jamshed troll?
I mean,there's Alan C and Kenny and SF and whatnot around here who have at least some sort of argument to make,but this dude is just obviously fucked in the head.
Posted by: Martin Christensen | June 10, 2009 5:22 AM
John Morales @62:
The cheap and cheesy thing, seeming, not being, is a rather subtle thing, and I guess I should have explained myself right away. This cover looks like what someone with no photography skills shooting the picture from the hip would produce, and that's probably what it is, and that has a certain charm. However, with better composition and lighting, it could be made to still look like a shot by someone with no photography skills shooting from the hip, but at the same time being rather more pleasant to the eye, more catching and still as charming.
Martin
Posted by: Ichthyic | June 10, 2009 5:22 AM
.i will be there with you till my SA node stops generating electrical impulse...
It's pretty obvious your frontal lobes have stopped generating electrical impulses, so it shouldn't be too long then.
Do you have a do not resuscitate clause?
Posted by: Rick R | June 10, 2009 5:46 AM
I'd Go Gay for Chris Meloni.
Oh, wait....
Posted by: Rorschach | June 10, 2009 5:48 AM
Fuck is wrong with the bi guys in here
:-)
Posted by: John Morales | June 10, 2009 5:48 AM
Martin @66, ah. OK, I'll take your word for it.
I confess to being a Philistine regarding aesthetics. :)
Posted by: Cosmic Teapot | June 10, 2009 7:06 AM
Rorschach @ 65
Kenny?
And is whatnot Roger the dodger?
Posted by: RobertDW | June 10, 2009 7:20 AM
atomjack@48 - if you looking at a bunch of people wearing hoods that obscure vision, you're looking at the decoy ninjas.
The eyeslit on ninja hoods is a slice that doesn't cover the eyes at all - not even the peripheral vision. It's not a narrow slit at all.
And if you're focusing on the decoy ninja, you know the real ones have you in their sights. Ninja weren't hide-bound by tradition, and took up the use of firearms very early on - back when they were still restricted inside Japan. Modern ninja (assuming such exist) would be quite comfortable with using sniper rifles.
Posted by: uksceptic | June 10, 2009 8:29 AM
I'm only buying it if there is a Father Ted My Lovely Horse cover featuring PZ Myers and Steve Novella.
Posted by: Three Ninjas | June 10, 2009 10:04 AM
@Kobra #57:
You can go to www.myspace.com/threeninjasmusic.
Posted by: Kobra | June 10, 2009 11:03 AM
@74: Cool.
Also, you might want to fix the link to www.threeninjas.net on the "Buy CD" page that PZ linked to. There's no http://
Posted by: Sili
|
June 10, 2009 11:06 AM
I'm pretty sure vocative is restricted to second declension (singular) - in all other cases it's identical to the nominative. So you'd never order your ninja around saying "ninjae!"
Posted by: Knockgoats | June 10, 2009 11:12 AM
i will be there with you till my SA node stops generating electrical impulse. - JAMSHED FUCKWIT
Unless the rest of us get lucky, that wouldn't stop you. If the SA node packs up, it is usual for a pacemaker lower down in the heart, either elsewhere in the atria or in the AV node, to take over.
Posted by: Bill Dauphin, OM | June 10, 2009 11:24 AM
Ablative? So spacecraft heatshield material is a grammatical case? Who knew? 8^)
Posted by: Bill Dauphin, OM | June 10, 2009 11:31 AM
Or Thirteen. Or Cameron and Thirteen... hey, I can dream, can't I?
Posted by: Three Ninjas | June 10, 2009 11:54 AM
Don't forget Amber. And possibly the woman who played Meat Loaf's wife.
I dunno, I get lonely.
Posted by: Bill Dauphin, OM | June 10, 2009 12:10 PM
I guess my inner submissive is in hiding, 'cuz Manipulative Bitch Amber never did anything for me. Since you mention her, though, I'm puzzled that nobody's declared they'd "go gay" for Wilson. It's not my thing, but... well, "he shore does have a purty mouth."
I had forgotten about her; good call!
Posted by: Trish | June 10, 2009 1:55 PM
Ummm ... isn't it Ozzy? Not Ozzie?
You pastafarians really need laypersons like me around.
Posted by: Everbleed | June 10, 2009 2:13 PM
Ozzie is the "correct" English spelling. PZ is a professor. What did you expect?
Heh heh.
Posted by: eddie
|
June 10, 2009 8:02 PM
"go gay for cameron"?
Cameron Diaz?
David Cameron? The Cameron highlanders?
Sometimes I worry about you guys.
Posted by: Admiral Akbar | June 11, 2009 4:36 PM
Make Sleepstophers: An EP by Three Ninjas
A Review by Admiral Akbar
First of all, let me start by saying I have never done a music review. Because there has never been an album (or in this case, an EP) that has deserved my notice. But not even I could withstand music of this magnitude.
Three Ninjas has a deep and muddled history, spanning back to the dawn of music in mythic ancient China. He was hanging with King Wen and King Wu when he suddenly punched them both in the face with one hand and said "I'mma make music up in this bitch". Since then, he's invented most of the styles of music (the good kind) found in the world. And he invented what the kids call "sampling". Currently, Three Ninjas lives in Seattle Washington, and invented what the kids call "dancing".
My friend, Dinosaur, told me that. And I believe him. WHY? Because this is good music. Take a look at this song list:
1. The Ecstasy of Mallard
2. Going Gay For House
3. Have A Fucking Baby
4. Not Devoted
5. The Premise of Dogs (remix)
6. I Do And I Did (remix)
Here is LITERALLY what happened to me when I listened to this album all the way through: I plotzed. I saw PZ Meyers plotz. PZ Meyers and I plotzed together and at the same time. (For more info on that, please refer to my Admiral Akbar/PZ Meyers fan fiction).
The Ecstasy of Mallard
This song blows minds. It's about gay ducks and it's all true. The rhyme "...copulate with corpses" and "...if I have to I'll use forceps" makes this song worth the price of admission. To anywhere.
Going Gay For House
Admittedly, I do not watch the show House, MD. However, after hearing this song, I am gay for him.
Have A Fucking Baby
I think of this song "'ere single day", and I now desperately want to know the joys of having a rabbit. You want the same experience? List the shit out of this song. Do it anyway.
Not Devoted
This song is heartfelt, and meaningful to all those who desperately want there to be proof of the Divine. It makes me sad. In a good way.
The Premise of Dogs
I never understood dogs until now. Now I do. It's simple: Listen to this song to understand where dogs are coming from.
I do and I Did
I have to admit something else: I'm a HUGE Julia Massey fan. Actually, I also love her drummer, Dom 'The Nizzle' Cortese, and her Violinist, Geli Wuerzner. Neither of them appears on this song, but Three Ninjas (Threeni or T-Nin to his closest peeps) does an amazing job using a vocal sample from Julia herself. This song makes me feel pretty. PRETTY!
In conclusion, this is where I end this review. 5 Stars, 2 thumbs up, and zero suck points. Buy this, and then see Three Ninjas live. You will thank yourself. Or, more probably, you will thank me. You'll say "Oh, Admiral Akbar, why did I never listen to you before? This was great." And I'll say "You know, you 'prolly didn't listen to me because I told you to stick a whole loaf of bread up your nose." And you'll say "I remember that. But this makes up for that." And I'll say "Okokok, but what about when I told you that it was okay for you to take that semi truck because it was mine?" And you'll say, "this makes up for that, and the jail time, but just barely." And then I'll say "word." And you'll say, "I still don't like slash trust you get out." And then I'll go. With a smile on my face and a song in my heart. A song by Three Ninjas.
Posted by: PZ Myers
|
June 11, 2009 8:35 PM
All I can say to Admiral Akbar's review is…IT'S A TRAP!!!.
Posted by: Admiral Akbar | June 12, 2009 2:19 PM
PZ! You're so right! It's the BEST TRAP EVAR!