…and this is a 
Israel has no oil, but some people wish it did, for the worst of reasons. This is an amazing story of a con artist and his willing victims…and nothing is better at leading the sheep to slaughter than religion.
When James Cojanis heard the first rumblings of Armageddon, he was sitting in his San Jose home with the radio tuned to a popular Christian show called The Prophecy Club. Featured that day was a charismatic Texas oilman named Harold "Hayseed" Stephens. Speaking in the rousing cadence of a Southern preacher, he told listeners that "the greatest oil field on Earth is under the southwest corner of the Dead Sea"--and that his company, Ness Energy International, was about to tap into it. In doing so, he said, it would drain the oil fields of the Persian Gulf, prompt Arab countries to attack Israel, and at last touch off the great battle that would usher in the end of days.
As soon as the show was over, Cojanis got on the phone to find out how to invest in the venture. Days later the 70-year-old retiree received a form letter addressed, "Dear End Time Servant." It claimed that the oil reserves at Ness' planned drilling site ranged "from one billion to 40 billion barrels...putting this prospect in a class of the super giant oil fields of the world." Without a second thought, Cojanis bought $120,000 worth of stock in Ness. "Faith is a gift God puts in your heart," he explained when I visited him in October at his cluttered town house, piled with crumpled boxes of prophecy-themed newsletters and cassette tapes of old Christian radio shows. "And I didn't have any doubt that Ness was a plan of God. He raised up Hayseed Stephens to find Israel's oil."
Eight years later, Ness has yet to sink so much as an initial borehole for a Dead Sea well. In fact, for most of its existence it has never even held exploration rights in Israel. Its U.S. headquarters, a barnlike storefront topped with an open Bible sprouting an oil well, was shuttered in 2006. Since then, its stock price has fallen from a high of nearly $5 to a mere 3 cents; Cojanis' $120,000 investment is now worth $3,000. Not that he's worried. "I'm glad the stock price is in the tank," he says. "When they hit oil and the stock goes sky-high, that means Armageddon is around the corner." At that point, he plans to use his gains to spread the word that the end times are here, preparing as many souls for heaven as possible.
It's always a shock to see these cheerful people who love, love, love the idea of Armageddon, and want nothing more than for it to come as soon as possible. This isn't a hard concept to grasp: if your ideal expectation for the near-future is a world-wide catastrophe that has hundreds of millions of people dying in nuclear fireballs, there's something wrong with you.
Politics
Comments
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 3, 2009 10:00 AM
Jebus, the guy couldn't smell a con game when he heard it. And then not doing any background checks? I would say stupid, but it just seems so inadequate.
Posted by: Stephen Wells | August 3, 2009 10:00 AM
Well, at least these ones are upfront about their motivations and goals. Psychotic, but honest about it. On balance this is less dangerous than some of the alternatives.
Posted by: kerry | August 3, 2009 10:00 AM
Not "something"...everything.
Posted by: Paul Lundgren | August 3, 2009 10:04 AM
And to think we nearly had one of these people as vice president. Worse, we might still have such a person someday.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 3, 2009 10:05 AM
I love the smell of Schadenfreude in the morning.
Posted by: Alverant | August 3, 2009 10:07 AM
I'd feel sorry for the old guy if it weren't for the fact he honestly felt he was bringing about the end of the world and was OK with it. Dupe or not, there's something seriously wrong with him.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 3, 2009 10:09 AM
We are all giant nuclear fireball now.
Posted by: Sigmund | August 3, 2009 10:11 AM
Come on, PZ, what about Hayseed Dixie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t7HLkldXbg&feature=related
Posted by: The Science Pundit
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August 3, 2009 10:15 AM
It's too bad that his $120,000 didn't go towards actually helping people (other than the con man whose pockets it now lines).
Posted by: SEF | August 3, 2009 10:15 AM
No, faith is a vice. (NB As in the opposite of a virtue, not a G-clamp or similar!)
Loyalty is another vice.
It's the bad people who want the stupid people to believe those things are virtues instead. They've got the misdirection so successfully built into the culture(s) that very few people question it.
Posted by: Bostonian | August 3, 2009 10:15 AM
I'm trying to figure out whether to feel sorry for him as the mark in a con job, or as a credulous idiot who thinks a massive war in the Middle East is a good thing. I guess the two are really the same psychological condition manifested in different ways.
Actually, now that I've thought about it more, I find myself ignoring all the religious mumbo-jumbo and and errors in reasoning, and instead wishing he'd given his $120,000 to a real charity. Or, heck - to me. That's really the essence of the story.
Posted by: Ranson | August 3, 2009 10:17 AM
Sigmund beat me to it.
Posted by: cervantes
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August 3, 2009 10:19 AM
So here's the paradox of our present lives. Those of us sitting here on the commanding heights, in the wealthy countries, have the most secure lives any humans have ever experienced. Not even the greatest potentates of older times -- Alexander the Great or Henry VIII -- or the wealthiest of people as recently as the early 20th Century, for that matter, enjoyed the expectation of long, reasonably healthy life and the very low probability of sudden death or disability that the most disadvantaged of Americans take for granted today. We haven't known widespread hunger or deprivation for 60 years, considerably longer than most of us have been alive, and even the Great Depression didn't represent nearly the hardship known routinely by European peasants as late as the 19th Century, for just about anyone.
We don't need to fear smallpox, or polio, or essentially any bacterial illness; wild animals, hunger, war coming to our towns (though we seem more than eager to take it to others); sudden, inexplicable death from causes we now understand to be overwhelming infections, autoimmune diseases, childhood leukemia, and so on. We take it for granted that our water is safe to drink, our food is safe to eat, our streets safe to walk. Even when whole communities are destroyed in wildfires, the people evacuated in time, and they are insured. The exceptions get enormous attention precisely because they are not ordinary.
And yet this is an age seemingly characterized, above all, by anxiety. A few months ago the NYT carried a lengthy article about the boom in survivalist supplies. All sorts of well-to-do suburbanites are stocking up on canned graham crackers and home emergency surgery kits because they fear the collapse of the world economy and empty supermarkets. The prospect that more people than usual might catch the flu for a couple of months produced the greatest cataract of hysterical headlines since the outbreak of World War II. The chance that a few delusional guys in the foothills of the Himalayas might send a few pals over to blow up an airplane or shoot up a shopping mall caused the country to spend $2 trillion committing mass murder 800 miles to the west, suspend its constitution, and hold mass rallies to burn the country music albums of people who didn't like all that. Earlier, we had to coax all those people down from the hills who expected civilization to collapse on January 1, 2000 when the computers were going to get confused about the date, and of course half of Americans believe that God is about to bring the world to an end just because it says so in the 2,000 year old memoir of a hallucinogenic mushroom eater.
Maybe people just need to believe in the end times; for some reason it feels good. I dunno. . .
Posted by: daveau | August 3, 2009 10:19 AM
Paul Lundgren @4
We had one as president. Only not quite as out of the closet.
Posted by: Christophe Thill | August 3, 2009 10:19 AM
"Faith is a gift God puts in your heart"
When it costs you lots of money, can it still be called a gift ?
Posted by: CRM-114 | August 3, 2009 10:19 AM
I think the appeal of the end-of-the-world is that it marks fans as special, being the last people to ever live. If the world went merrily along for billions of years before them and will continue on for billions of years, then these people's brief appearance on Earth is utterly unremarkable and counts for nothing at all in the big picture.
We know that life on Earth will cease to exist, but that won't happen for billions of years. Not being there to see it takes all the fun out of it.
Thinking it would be fun to witness the end of the world shows how insane these people are: when the last humans die there will be trillions of cockroaches ruling the planet.
Posted by: Postman | August 3, 2009 10:20 AM
He's glad he lost $117,000. Jebus needs it to finance the war in the Middle East. Death and destruction don't grow on trees, you know.
If people are going to just throw their money at useless and/or destructive causes, why not my smoking habit? $120,000 worth of smokes would last me weeks!
Posted by: felixthecat
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August 3, 2009 10:21 AM
And yet, at the same time, these same people become hysterical if the guv'mint puts up a sign for Route 666.
Pat Robertson, at the height of his power, once suggested that a small scale nuclear war might be just the thing needed to jump-start Jesus's 2000 year late return. Thank goodness that GWB was a fake fundie, or he may have just done that.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 3, 2009 10:25 AM
John Hagee preaches this type of shit all the time.
Posted by: Ray Ingles | August 3, 2009 10:29 AM
That's how you can tell that nearly all creationists don't really believe in creationism. They don't put their money where their mouth is. I always ask young-Earth creationists:
Finding oil is a very high-stakes issue for oil companies. Trillions of dollars are riding on it. When they look for the most likely spots to drill, do they use Flood geology, or mainstream? Which one actually delivers the goods?
If the Earth is only 6,000 years old, where did the oil come from? If created in the ground, is there a way to predict where it might be found? Or perhaps it did form from plankton, but 10,000 times faster than any chemist thinks it could in those conditions? A young Earth and a Flood would imply some interesting questions to ask, some extremely valuable research programs to start. How come nobody's actually pursuing such research programs?
Why don't creationists put together an investment fund, venture capital for things like oil and mineral rights? If "Flood geology" is really a better theory, then it should make better predictions than standard geology does. The profits from such a venture could pay for a lot of evangelism. Why is no one doing this?
Posted by: Budbear | August 3, 2009 10:32 AM
"A fool and his money are soon parted"- Thomas Tusser
I agree with Alverant. This is a guy who is hoping for an Armageddon in which only people who share his belief get to escape the suffering and violence that would be visited on the rest of us, and then we get to burn in 'hell', suffering tortuous pain for all eternity. His stupidity would be regrettable, but his malevolent aspirations show him to be just another sanctimonious prick. Fuck him.
Posted by: emote_control | August 3, 2009 10:33 AM
Is it a con, or are they themselves deluded? Who knows? And who cares? If you are hoping that the world ends, and willing to devote time and energy to make sure that it happens, you are a monster. If anything, taking these people's money away from them is some kind of public service.
Posted by: Sili
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August 3, 2009 10:34 AM
I wish I was more imaginative. It'd be nice to be able to cash in on the faithful like this.
Posted by: Abdul Alhazred | August 3, 2009 10:35 AM
If I really thought the Big Guy were about to wrap it all up, I'd want to make a big pile of money in the oil business too.
To take with me to Heaven. :)
Posted by: J | August 3, 2009 10:40 AM
*...and that his company, Ness Energy International, was about to tap into it. In doing so, he said, it would drain the oil fields of the Persian Gulf*
Petroleum geology: You're doing it wrong.
Posted by: Coragyps | August 3, 2009 10:41 AM
"In doing so, he said, it would drain the oil fields of the Persian Gulf...."
Doesn't know much about geology, does he? Though Oman is only about an inch from Isreal on my globe, I guess....
And a billion barrels in reserves is nice, but not all that huge: they've sucked over two billion out of the SACROC field right here in my county over the last sixty years. The Bakken in North Dakota may hold 200 billion.
Posted by: Knockgoats | August 3, 2009 10:45 AM
And yet this is an age seemingly characterized, above all, by anxiety... Maybe people just need to believe in the end times; for some reason it feels good. I dunno... - cervantes
The main cause may well be the high level of inequality in US society. Richardson and Pickett, in The Spirit Level: Why More Equal Societies Almost Always Do Better, show that across countries, and across states of the USA, income inequality correlates with many health problems and social ills, including mental illness and self-reported unhappiness/stress. All these problems also show a strong social gradient, affecting those with higher incomes less (rates of diseases which don't show this, like breast and prostate cancer, are also not correlated with inequality levels) - but all except perhaps those at the very top still do worse in more unequal societies. From animal studies, low social status is known to increase cortisol levels, a marker of anxiety that also has damaging long-term effects. Feeling that you are one of the elect, and indeed religiosity in general, may be defences against low or threatened social status. The fact that Japan and Scandinavia have the lowest levels of income inequality, and also low levels of religiosity, seems to support this - and it was noted, after the crash of 2008, that US evangelists were rubbing their hands at the prospect of a wave of new recruits.
Posted by: kevin | August 3, 2009 10:45 AM
OK pretend christianity's god is real for a second. Do you really think that you can force god to do your bidding? Just because the conditions in the bible would be met doesn't mean jesus would return. The bible doesn't say "the first time these events occur i will return", nothing stopping god from ignoring you this time and letting it happen again on his own time schedule.
Posted by: Prometevsberg | August 3, 2009 10:45 AM
Always sutrized no one is running a scam seling shares in a bio-medicsl company based on biblical creation science, not atheist darwinist evolution...
Posted by: the backpacker | August 3, 2009 10:45 AM
A fool and his gold and all that.
What is really stupid is that according to THEIR bible the world was going to end befor the apostals where dead. So at this point they are rougly 1950 years late. Why can't people just get over this whole death cult, help people who are alive and suffering NOW and enjoy the time we have cause after all it is all we have.
Posted by: Wildflower | August 3, 2009 10:45 AM
Reports like this always remind me of Nietzsche's Uebermensch (Beyond-Human):
--- Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke ZarathustraThe only thing I disagree with is the little word "shall". Human history at large and little anecdotes like the OP, all the self-destructive behavior on a personal as well as global level, the violence, the solipsism... all that suggests to me that it needs to be "Man is something that needs to be overcome." With people actively trying to work towards an Armageddon, considering the devastating power of modern technology that is in the hands of a few, a "shall" just isn't strong enough. It's the only way that "man" will be able to survive in the long run.
Posted by: Daniel Fincke | August 3, 2009 10:48 AM
Great point #20.
One of the things I found most evocative about this piece was the image of this guy's house cluttered with religiously brainwashing propaganda.
What's so frustrating is to realize that religion's power is not in its reason but in its relentless assault of memes. It's as though the average human mind decides what is true by what it hears most often.
And again, this is why secularists, rationalists, humanists, atheists, scientists, philosophers, et al. really need to talk ad nauseum and give no quarter to "faith" as a legitimate means of reasoning. It's a meme war and the memes that win out make the difference in what later on will look most plausible or implausible to people.
Posted by: Spiro Keat | August 3, 2009 10:48 AM
Nerd of Redhead #1
"Jebus, the guy couldn't smell a con game when he heard it. And then not doing any background checks? I would say stupid, but it just seems so inadequate."
Er, the guys a born again fuckwit. He is FULLY qualified to be taken in by a con artist.
As for the end of days thingy, it *is* a Death Cult we're talking about here.
And, by the way, jebus did come back but no one noticed so he fucked off again.
Posted by: Darren Garrison | August 3, 2009 10:52 AM
The Dead Sea? That investor is drilling in The Nile.
Posted by: Sastra
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August 3, 2009 10:53 AM
It's always a shock to see these cheerful people who love, love, love the idea of Armageddon, and want nothing more than for it to come as soon as possible.
Included in this group is the much larger group of people who can consider a future where 90% of all people suffer eternal torments, and call a story which includes this fact "The Good News."
And that's exactly how people are thinking of these scenarios: as real life stories, with stock character bad guys who exist only as plot devices to move the hero-based narrative along. The damned aren't real people. They're necessary byproducts of a plan God put together which focuses only on the folks who really matter.
This ability to airily dismiss huge swaths of populations as not being significant in the same way that those selected few in
yourGod's tribe are significant, is probably connected to the ability to dismiss huge swaths of expert scientific opinion as not being significant in the same way as the tiny group of your own 'experts.'They are living very, very small. The universe is a stage, and the world a playpen, created for the express purpose of setting out the little drama going on inside your head, of the good child pleasing the parent, and not being naughty like the bad people.
Posted by: J | August 3, 2009 10:55 AM
*...and that his company, Ness Energy International, was about to tap into it. In doing so, he said, it would drain the oil fields of the Persian Gulf*
Seriously, I can't flog the wrongness of this enough: Oil is notnotNOT contained in underground pools into which we need only stick giant straws ('cause that's what drilling rigs are, right? Right?!?!) to siphon it out. As I understand it, oil is locked up in rocks which must be pulverized or put under extreme pressure--usually with water or some other sort of easily-to-hand fluid slurry--to free up the oil.
It's the same geologyfail as that Earth Firster guy Pharyngula noted who sabotaged a seismic shot in Montana out of a concern for whales . . . in California.
Posted by: GilbertNSullivan
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August 3, 2009 10:59 AM
Did anyone else receive Batzrubble-Rubber Inc.'s "Once In This Lifetime" offer to invest in dinosaur stud futures? I'm tempted to go all-in, but wondered if anyone had any background on them. They seem sincere, but you can't be too careful.
Posted by: Zeno | August 3, 2009 10:59 AM
I remember hearing "Hayseed" spin his Dead Sea oil story back when I used to listen to The Prophecy Club. His appearances were among the show's most boring episodes, simply whoring after Christian dollars to fund his exploration expeditions -- but wealth was certain for those who truly believed.
Bollocks.
The hey-day of The Prophecy Club was the late 1990s, when they became hardcore Y2K nuts. (Whenever they plunged into anything, they did it the hardcore nutty way.) Listeners were exhorted to stock up on survival gear and to horde food, all of which you could buy through The Prophecy Club. I have seldom enjoyed anything more than the broadcasts of January 2000 (Schadenfreude, anyone?), which were a long string of hand-wringing apologies and tortured explanations of what went wrong (right?) and why God had changed his mind about smiting the heathens for their unbelief. The ministry also underwent a huge contraction and lost most of their broadcast sites.
Hilarious.
By contrast to the Dead Sea oil scam and the Y2K fiasco, The Prophecy Club was almost benign when it promoted the efforts of some evangelist who was "claiming cities for Christ" by walking their streets while praying. This guy was collecting contributions that enabled him to travel the world at the expense of others. Maybe he was sincere and he really did spend all of this time walking and praying, but it certainly occurred to me that he had hit on a way of getting others to underwrite his penchant for visiting the great cities of the world. Nice work, if you can get it.
The Prophecy Club hasn't given up on Israeli oil, by the way. Their website features an mp3 on "Hand of God: Oil".
Some people never learn.
Posted by: Daniel F | August 3, 2009 10:59 AM
#28, your remark reminds me of when, as a devoutly religious teenager, I was exposed to Michigan Militia propaganda by one of the most influential Evangelical Christians in my life. For two whole days, I totally believed everything in it and was terrified about the civil war sparked by the attempted takeover of the UN for the sake of a New World Order which was predicted to happen "by the Bible" by 1996. Fortunately for me the spell was broken the first time I tried to tell someone what I had "learned" and it didn't even register to him that I believed it. He thought I was just reporting on some crazy nonsense I'd heard. And in an instance the sheer preposterousness of it all dawned on me.
One of the most insane parts of the whole thing was that the video simultaneously argued that all of this HAD to happen because it was predicted by the book of Revelation AND that if only we banded together with our guns we could STOP it from happening. I swear, it's like some people have no cognitive dissonance detectors whatsoever.
The UN wound up never trying to take over but 4 months later an alumni of the Michigan Militia committed the worst mass murder in American history. Still no "biblically predicted" civil war though (14 years later).
Posted by: co | August 3, 2009 11:02 AM
J, @ 36:
The dude who sabotaged the seismic shot *was* an idiot. However, he performed the sabotage in B.C., where the shot was to take place. There is no mention of Montana nor California. Just so we're accurate, y'know.
Posted by: Daniel F | August 3, 2009 11:03 AM
whoops, I meant an alumnus, not an alumni
Posted by: J | August 3, 2009 11:05 AM
*There is no mention of Montana nor California. Just so we're accurate, y'know.*
Really? I thought I remembered clicking through to that guy's own page and he claimed he was doing it to save whales from getting beached in California.
But maybe it's a 404 error in my brain.
Posted by: Sastra
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August 3, 2009 11:05 AM
Abdul Alhazred #24 wrote:
Heh, good point. Perhaps this is one way the faithful can assuage their conscience about being greedy, and piling up riches here on earth. Jesus specifically said not to do that, to focus instead on heaven.
But, you see, they're not doing that. Not at all! They're just being obedient to the Word of God and trying to carry out His plan so that Armageddon is jump-started. There!
It's not as if they care about money or anything. So it's okay for them to get rich. The faithful have a very good excuse for not being poor like Jesus.
Posted by: AF Comm Guy | August 3, 2009 11:07 AM
So, let me get this straight. A preacher named Hayseed is actively trying to provoke nuclear war, or as he calls it, "end of days." I don't know about you but wouldn't that qualify as terrorism?
And James Cojanis gave this guy $120,000 to pursue his genocidal ideas. Therefore wouldn't that be considered providing material aid to terrorists?
Fundamentalist Christianity = Terrorism, any way you slice it.
Posted by: co | August 3, 2009 11:10 AM
#42:
That could be. I didn't explore his webpage very thoroughly.
Posted by: inkadu | August 3, 2009 11:12 AM
Feeling that you are one of the elect, and indeed religiosity in general, may be defences against low or threatened social status.
Dude, low or threatened social status is why I come to Pharyngula. Even though I drive a beat-up Honda civic and get passed by Chrysler LeBarons with Jesus fish on their rear bumpers, at least I have a better grounding in reality.
...
Also, did anyone get the joke that Hayseed put into his company made? NESS? As in Lochness monster, affectionately called, "Nessy"? Another water-related hoax. Hayseed is a genius.
Posted by: SC "New Post Up at My Blog!" OM | August 3, 2009 11:12 AM
I'm afraid you'll have to run that interpretation by Pastor Estes. As you're no doubt well aware, his is the One True Reading of the Bible.
Posted by: n | August 3, 2009 11:13 AM
"I'm glad the stock price is in the tank," he says. "When they hit oil and the stock goes sky-high, that means Armageddon is around the corner."
Way to find that silver lining there guy. Hold on. If Armagedden comes, wouldn't the stock price crash with the markets because, I don't know, THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING?!? I guess this savvy investor has never heard of "beta".
The Mother Jones article says this clown wants to plow another $100K into the company because,
"One of these days the oil is going to come," he says. "And when it does, Ness' stock is going through the roof. I have no doubt that it will happen in God's perfect timing."
Man, you're 70 YEARS OLD! While these clowns are throwing your quarters out the window and digging dry holes, the clock is ticking as far as you're concerned. You think the Lord might want to step on the gas a little?
Posted by: mikecbraun | August 3, 2009 11:14 AM
So people will still be able to profit during Armageddon? Why would that matter? I'm done trying to find any logic in these peoples' beliefs.
Posted by: latsot
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August 3, 2009 11:14 AM
I'm definitely going to put A BURLY MAN on my gravestone.
Posted by: latsot
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August 3, 2009 11:16 AM
(#50) I probably should have put quotes around the text "A BURLY MAN".
Posted by: E.V. | August 3, 2009 11:17 AM
Aren't you afraid he'll wander off eventually?Posted by: Knockgoats | August 3, 2009 11:21 AM
Dude, low or threatened social status is why I come to Pharyngula. Even though I drive a beat-up Honda civic and get passed by Chrysler LeBarons with Jesus fish on their rear bumpers, at least I have a better grounding in reality. - inkadu
*appreciative chuckle*
Posted by: n | August 3, 2009 11:22 AM
"Aren't you afraid he'll wander off eventually? "
That would depend on how smitten he is.
Posted by: Wildflower | August 3, 2009 11:24 AM
I think the worst side of this story is still missing from the discussion.
While the schadenfreude angle (old guy fell for an obvious con and lost all his money, lol) on this is all good and fun, tat guy actually believed it! Our ability to see through the con is irrelevant to the actual situation:
A guy pays $130,000 for someone else to commit mass murder. Even though the "plan" didn't come through, that's still attempted murder. Or is it suddenly OK because it's just so "out of there"? Pay someone to fake some adultery photos and have some wife kill her husband... that's murder. Attempt to have thousands kill thousands and it's "a darling old fool"?
In my eyes, the punishment of losing all his money isn't enough. Investing it was a criminal act.
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | August 3, 2009 11:25 AM
WTF? Investing in armageddon is just epic bad strategy. 'Cuz if you win, you lose. And if you lose, you win?
Posted by: Cliff Hendroval | August 3, 2009 11:31 AM
cervantes @ 13:
If I had enough money, I'd buy full-page ads in every newspaper in the country and print your post.
Posted by: RamblinDude
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August 3, 2009 11:32 AM
When it comes to fundies, few things get their innards tingling like the thought of jebus returning to earth in a cloud of glory, smiting the sinful and sending hordes of unbelievers to hell. (It’s the sending sinners to hell that really brings out the meanness in them. Those who refuse to worship their god of infinite love and compassion deserve to suffer for eternity being burned alive.)
I’ve seen them work themselves up into a froth over the rapture. After all the song singing and bouncing up and down and praising the lord (and maybe speaking in tongues, depending on the congregation), they get serious and sermonize about the end-times. The rapture could happen anytime, my friend; is your heart right with god? (Oh, I remember the fear well.)
It’s all theater for the stupid, of course, but faith and fanaticism are soulmates. Do not let them get their hands on the bomb.
Posted by: the other Adam | August 3, 2009 11:50 AM
@48, 49: The End Times play out over a period of years, so there'll be plenty of time to spend his millions. Assuming, of course, he doesn't get raptured before the stock recovers (now that would suck!).
Posted by: Nightsky | August 3, 2009 11:51 AM
Darren@34: You win one internets.
Posted by: n | August 3, 2009 11:53 AM
#55
Never mind the people who try to influence mid-east policy based on this stuff. Hence the problem with Christian eschatology: You have people expecting the end of the world, people looking foreword to it and people who will actively work to get the party started ASAP. Peoples lives in this world are irrelevant if it means the faithful get saved.
All because of a book written by a cave dwelling Greek hermit who was probably tripping on too many magic mushrooms.
Posted by: Ktesibios | August 3, 2009 11:54 AM
One of the original locators of the Comstock Lode, Peter O'Reilly, became obsessed with the idea that there was a huge deposit of oil- a natural tank full of the stuff, somewhere inside Mt. Davidson near the summit.
It wasn't Jebus who was his tipster, rather it was "spirits" which he saw in his dreams. He didn't take any money from others to pursue his visions, but frittered away his own substance; neither did he have any notions about the end of the world- he was just in it to get rich. He eventually died in a private insane asylum. You can read the story in Dan De Quille's The Big Bonanza.
They did some things better in those days.
Posted by: RHBourdeau | August 3, 2009 12:01 PM
If you want to enjoy an even more tragic story along these same lines, check out the CMKX saga. This is a Diamond Mining company that has been the focus of a large evangelical community. They have huge investments in this penny stock (like fractions of a penny) with one expectation: there are allegations that there was illegal short selling going on and that when the legal case is resolved they will all be hundred millionaires or better. But for the past 5 years or more, every day there are new deadlines for when the stock certificates will be issued, when the legal case will be resolved. It's always like "next thursday" or "Sept 17". When that date arrives, there's an excuse why it is further delayed. This is literally a day to day, week to week postponement for years and years, and the faithful cannot see it for the bilking that it really seems to be. It's mind boggling.
Posted by: jkhdfk | August 3, 2009 12:11 PM
religion is a mental health issue...
Posted by: tsg | August 3, 2009 12:17 PM
I don't necessarily buy that. I think it would have to have a reasonable chance at success before you can call it attempted murder. I mean, this is only slightly worse than sitting home and wishing people dead.
Posted by: EvilEvolutioniste | August 3, 2009 12:20 PM
I just read the article and it indicated that there are no less than 17 different prophecies in the Bible that foresee oil discoveries in Israel just prior to Armageddon. This seems rather remarkable considering that the petroleum industry didn't really come to fruition until the late 19th century.
In the interest of Monday morning humor, can anyone point me to any of these prophecies? Thanks.
Evil(tm) Evolutionist
Posted by: Ray Ingles | August 3, 2009 12:37 PM
"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It is simply too painful to acknowledge - even to ourselves - that we've been so credulous." - Carl Sagan
Posted by: Owlmirror | August 3, 2009 12:37 PM
No, I don't think so. The other holding company was called "Hesed" -- a Hebrew word ("חסד"), meaning "grace" or "kindness"; in this case, no doubt meant to invoke God's grace.
And I'm pretty sure that "Ness" is meant to be a Hebrew word as well -- "נס" means "miracle".
So it's more like: If they find (commercial quantities of) oil, it will be a miracle!
Posted by: Abdul Alhazred | August 3, 2009 12:41 PM
If they find commercial quantities of oil, it will be good for the Israeli economy without hurting anyone else, and make peace more likely.
Oh no!
Posted by: Wildflower | August 3, 2009 12:43 PM
@tsg (#64)
I disagree (though I'm no lawyer so perhaps someone who is might shed some light on it, please) and that was part of my point. I think that "our view" (i.e.: that's ridiculous) plays no role at all, and "feasibility" only a minor one, if any.
Consider this: The US President is probably the best guarded person in the world, so any attempt to have him killed would face extremely bad odds. Now, if what you say is valid, then paying someone a million to kill Obama isn't criminal since it's just so unlikely to be successful, but paying to have someone poison your in-laws is.
No, in my book only the intention is what counts... And what distinguishes this from the "thought-crime" of wishing someone dead is the payment of 120,000 dollars.
... at least in understanding of right and justice. As mentioned, I'm no lawyer and in particular aren't familiar with US laws. As far as I understand German law (Germans can be brought to trial for anything they commit worldwide -- no matter if it was against local law or not -- and non-German citizens can be brought to trial for crimes against humanity committed anywhere in the world if they ever enter the country) this guy could be sentenced, but most likely wouldn't with people reacting similarly to others here: "Oh, just some old misguided guy. It's just his religion."
What I'm missing is the public outcry. It's situations like this that showcase to me just how important the active championing of rationality and logic and the fight against superstition and these delusional believes is.
Posted by: Drysk | August 3, 2009 12:47 PM
Isn't there a specific faction of Christians that want to specifically usher in the End Times? Anyone know the name?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 3, 2009 12:49 PM
Well there's the whole rapture ready crowd, but I get the feeling you're referring to a specific sect.
Posted by: grizzly | August 3, 2009 12:56 PM
does anyone else find it funny that these idiots think they can persuade or trick jesus into coming earlier than he planned? How stupid do they think jesus is?
Posted by: The Duck Man | August 3, 2009 12:59 PM
'Prepare as may souls for heaven as possible.'
Why is it, when I see religious nutjobs say that, I immediately imagine some grinning psychopath in body armour carrying a smoking assault rifle in one hand and the bible in the other?
Posted by: tsg | August 3, 2009 12:59 PM
I am not a lawyer either, but I am approaching the argument more from a point of view as to what makes sense to me.
Perhaps "reasonable chance of success" was poor word choice. Paying someone to try to shoot the President (whether or not he had a reasonable chance of success) would be one thing, but paying a psychic to curse him would be something else entirely. I don't think you should prosecute the latter.
I don't think acting on the desire should necessarily be prosecutable, though, if the actions taken aren't inherently dangerous. If he bought $120,000 worth of voodoo dolls and sat at home all day sticking pins in them, I don't think he should go to jail for that, either.
On this, I agree. But I can condemn his wanting billions of people dead without thinking he deserves to be in jail. A mental institution, possibly....
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | August 3, 2009 1:01 PM
n @ # 48: If Armagedden comes, wouldn't the stock price crash with the markets because, I don't know, THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING?!?
C'mon, n, haven't you even read the first Left Behind book? When our dauntless reporter hero sees a mushroom cloud over where Chicago used to be, he immediately rushes into a car dealership and buys the fanciest 4WD SUV on the lot (with his employer's credit card - didja know the AmEx phone lines are EMP-hardened?). The Apocalyp$e will be great for business!
Posted by: E.V. | August 3, 2009 1:08 PM
When you think about it, that just sums it up.
Posted by: SEF | August 3, 2009 1:11 PM
Very stupid indeed. Don't forget, they've all created their god in their own image!
Meanwhile, it's only much the same as the way the Jews hope to trick god with their inventive ways of getting around their own religious rules. Then there are those spinning prayer wheels. Such attempted trickery against an alleged omniscient etc being is a common human theme, regardless of the specifics of the religion.
Posted by: Sastra
|
August 3, 2009 1:14 PM
Wildflower #70 wrote:
And what distinguishes a $120,000 payment for a "hit" from this scenario is the invocation of an "Act of God." The phrase is normally used to indicate something done without direct human intervention. Nobody's fault. If lightning strikes your house, legally speaking, you can't claim intent because someone prayed that God's will be done, and it was done. All the people in the scam are depending on God having actual power to carry out their mutual plan.
IANAL, but it seems to me that prosecuting any of these people for attempted murder would require that the courts also assume the premise that God really exists. Secular courts can't do that.
I would not rule out Cojanis being both a "misguided darling old fool" and evil. Things are seldom black and white, and the phrase "the banality of evil" is a very good one. Genuine wickedness does not always march in from somewhere else with jackboots on.
Posted by: SEF | August 3, 2009 1:20 PM
@ tsg #75:
I disagree there. Not least because people claiming supernatural powers have frequently been known to use real-world abilities to obtain the same result the fake way. It's also much the same as the people who've mistakenly hired undercover policemen to be their assassins.
If the police or the psychic can be shown not to be taking any real world actions to carry out the crime, then they obviously shouldn't be prosecuted. But the person hiring them, with the full expectation that they will be taking effective steps to carry out the desired crime, should be.
Posted by: Wildflower | August 3, 2009 1:22 PM
@tsg (#75)
Hmm, while I do see your point it still goes against my sense of justice. In a hypothetical situation you might have 3 twins, all with the exact same intention of killing a 4th person, but one is rational and 2 suffering from delusions:
a) hires a shaman to curse the target to death
b) hires an assassin that advertises to use a newly developed laser that can even penetrate bulletproof vests
c) hires an assassin that will use a regular gun
To us,
a) is a ridiculous prospect
b) sounds possible; but as it will turn out later that gun doesn't exist
c) is likely successful.
I think they're all equally criminal and guilty; in that respect their choice of poison shouldn't matter.
I guess this is the time to agree to disagree until additional input from someone who knows the terrain becomes available :P
Mind you, I'm not saying all three should be punished equally! Thus I do completely agree with your notion that the old guy is "just" criminally insane and that the punishment should take that into account.
Posted by: Mu | August 3, 2009 1:23 PM
The thing that scares me about the Armageddon believers is - what if it turns out the Anti-Christ is really Chuck Norris, and the wrong side wins? Is there a Plan B in the prophesies, just in case?
Posted by: Bodach | August 3, 2009 1:27 PM
1. Invest in Biblical oil scam.
2. End times begin: glory!
3. Profit!
?
Posted by: Dr.Woody
|
August 3, 2009 1:31 PM
My genteely, discretely, urbanely racist and anti-semitic father used to tell this story, in a heavy yiddish/American accent:
The Lord called unto Moses and bespake him thus: "Moses.Arise! The childreno fo Israel clamor for their freedom and their homeland."
And Moses arose, and went unto Pharoah, and begged leave to lead the children of Israel to their promised land.
But Pharoah refused, and ordered the Israelites to be held, forcibly if necessary, in Egypt.
But Moses had the Lord within him, and he gathered the children of Israel unto him and led them forth into the desert.
And there they wandered for 40 years; until they came upon Israel, whereupon they proclaimed Hosannah and settled, forever...
...On the only plot of ground in a thousand leagues under which there was no oil.
And the lord chuckled, mirthfully.
Posted by: Wildflower | August 3, 2009 1:31 PM
@Sastra (#79)
I'm not arguing that they should be punished for wanting Armageddon, but for the real world consequences of what they intend to do to accomplish the arrival of that Armageddon.
In this case, the con-artist promised to instigate a war; which would lead to death and suffering in the real world: That is what the guy payed 120,000 dollars for. The fact that this might lead to some Armageddon is besides the point and God plays no role in that.
Posted by: meh1963 | August 3, 2009 1:33 PM
@74: 'Prepare as may souls for heaven as possible.'
Why is it, when I see religious nutjobs say that, I immediately imagine some grinning psychopath in body armour carrying a smoking assault rifle in one hand and the bible in the other?
The xtian video game, Left Behind Eternal Forces, rewards players for doing just that- the player coverts people or shoots them if they won't convert.
....And people say "Oh, it's just fun, we'd never do that in real life."
Uh-huh. I believe that. Like I believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. Or Jebus, for that matter.
Posted by: tsg | August 3, 2009 1:34 PM
@80 & 81
Personally, while we may not be able to clearly define where "thought crime" becomes "actionable intent", I think the guy in the OP is well on this side of it.
Posted by: Phrogge | August 3, 2009 1:34 PM
Drysk@71 — I'm not sure if there's a specific sect, but many fundamentalists christians are Dispensationalists, champing at the bit to immanentize the eschaton.
Posted by: Uzza | August 3, 2009 1:40 PM
@32:
It's as thoughthe average human mind decides what is true by what it hears most often.Fixed that for you.
Posted by: ice9 | August 3, 2009 1:44 PM
For great insight into PMD's--PreMillenial Dispensationalists--read Slacktivist at www.slacktivist.typepad.com
, especially the thorough explication of Jenkins and LaHaye's "Left Behind" books. Very interesting--and complex.
Maybe he'll blog on this case.
ice9
Posted by: Wildflower | August 3, 2009 1:45 PM
@tsg (#87)
A harmless "thought crime" becomes "actionable intent" when an "action" is taken ... is that really such an unreasonable definition?
In this case the payment of one-hundred-twenty-thousand dollars (and not just 'praying') with the intent to instigate a war was that action. I think SEF's (#80) example of the undercover police officer is a good one to show that the possibility of the desired outcome ever occurring is of little consequence to the question if said action was criminal or not.
Anyway, I believe we're talking in circles and not getting anywhere.
Posted by: fester60613 | August 3, 2009 1:52 PM
Again it's the continually repeated base attitude of Xianity: The theory and belief in an afterlife is far more important than the plight of humanity here and now.
It's insane!
Posted by: tmaxPA | August 3, 2009 2:32 PM
If I'm not mistaken, he promised to find oil, and thereby instigate a war. You make it sound as if he's assassinating an arch-duke or something.
Personally, I've fallen in love with this whole scam, and wish I had the background to pull it off myself. He can pay himself millions a year for barely trying to set up entirely useless mining operations, well and no-doubt perpetually funded by religious morons, self-selected to be the most lucrative marks ever. It's awe-inspiring. Perfectly legal, entirely ethical, yet particularly fraudulent.
GENIUS!
Posted by: Hank Roberts | August 3, 2009 2:34 PM
> what about Hayseed Dixie?
That's a double negative, which is a positive. You can trust'em. Good music too.
http://www.hayseed-dixie.com/
Posted by: Hank Roberts | August 3, 2009 2:40 PM
Oh, by the way, I think the SEC will agree that this guy made sufficient disclosure of his intentions. Read it in context.
> 'Prepare as may souls for heaven
> as possible.'
Is explained here:
"... it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
Matthew 19:24
Basically, Mr. Hayseed was offering a simple and efficient way to lubricate your camel. Just give him your money.
Posted by: Sastra
|
August 3, 2009 2:54 PM
meh1963 #86 wrote:
And if you only wing 'em -- they become Unitarians! (from The Simpsons)
Posted by: Drekoguk | August 3, 2009 3:30 PM
Why would the Arab states start attacking Israel when they run out of oil, shouldn't they do it now when they're rich off the oil and have enough money to pay for weapons.
Posted by: Drysk | August 3, 2009 3:46 PM
@72
Yeah, I thought there was a specific sect for the pro-Armageddon people. Like the Xtian Reconstructionists, but more bent on hastening the end of the world rather than taking it over.
Posted by: Gruesome Rob | August 3, 2009 3:46 PM
That's not my issue. Contrary to what some theists believe, I have an extremely strong sense of ethics. It's not in my nature to rip people off.
Posted by: inge | August 3, 2009 3:52 PM
Wildflower: I think the problem with getting the guy for "abetment to genocide" or something is that he's attemptig to use theurgy to do it. And maleficium hasn't been a criminal offence in the Western world since, IIRC, the 18th century.
Planning, preparation, initiation or waging of a war of aggression -- with Ness not drilling for oil in a place where it might be bad for world peace should they find any, it will be hard to make that stick, either.
Just because something's outrageous doesn't mean it's illegal.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
August 3, 2009 4:30 PM
Dr.Woody #84
There's the story about Abraham talking to god: "You're telling me that the Arabs get all of the oil and we have to cut off the ends of our what?"
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood | August 3, 2009 4:45 PM
Is it any surprise that someone credulous enough to believe in the whole "End Times" brand of religious woo has been taken in by a transparent con man. These people are godsends, so to speak, to hustlers the world over. Just invoke their preferred brand of sky fairy and they will buy into anything, including the idea that the horrific mass genocide of mankind is such a good thing that it can be entitled the 'rapture'. I'm not entirely sure how rapturous thermonuclear armageddon can get for someone with even the smallest iota of sanity.
Fortunately, religion has never really been on speaking terms with reason, so I suppose this is not much of an impediment.
Posted by: October Mermaid | August 3, 2009 5:02 PM
I'm sure this has been said before in this thread (or maybe not. You'll have to forgive me, but it's daunting reading the comments section of every single post), but the guy is 70 and so many evangelicals live their lives CERTAIN that Jesus is just around the corner. Oh, this guy claims to have faith and maybe he does have it strong, but he's getting old and Jesus still isn't here. He might actually have to... to die, and that's troubling. Oh, sure, other people die, but in the rapture, why, the chosen get called up to heaven! None of that scary stuff (that's for the unbelievers and the scoffers and the mockers who deserve it, anyway, the buncha assholes).
I wonder how this man will react on his death bed when Jesus still hasn't come. I also wonder if Jerry Falwell had a moment of similar realization before improving the world by his absence.
Posted by: RobertDW | August 3, 2009 5:25 PM
J @36:
Fresh oil fields used to have the oil under a lot of natural pressure, to the extent that when you penetrated the strata, the oil would emerge naturally - the cartoon classic of the guy hitting the ground with a pickaxe and having oil spurt in his face was an exaggeration (pressurised oil isn't that close to the ground), but not really a lie; the image of the oil well suddenly spurting is accurate.
However, this natural pressure is relieved long before the oil runs out. At this point, enhanced measures are used - pumping in water or gas, or crushing rock to slurry.
One of the more amusing carbon-sequestration ideas is to use carbon dioxide as the gas in these enhanced recovery measures.
Posted by: MadScientist | August 3, 2009 5:35 PM
That's hilarious - the notion of draining the Arabian oil fields by sinking a hole in the Dead Sea. It belongs right down there with the flat earth (which these bozos might believe in). Fortunately their lunacy doesn't even begin to resemble reality. Just remember: these are the sorts of people who want to control what the public schools teach.
Posted by: JustaTech | August 3, 2009 6:05 PM
This is not the most ridiculous story of how to hasten the End Times. In the hilarious book "A year of living biblically" the author("Jewish the way the Olive Garden is Italian") encounters some people who are trying to breed a red cow. They want a completely red cow (that has to stay red for 3 years without a single white hair) so that they can be ritually purified. OK, weird, but whatever. The problem is what they want to be ritually purified *for*.
Once these hard-core Orthodox Jews are ritually purified, they can re-build the Temple. You know, that temple that is currently occupied by a major mosque? This will either: bring the end times all by itself, or cause a war that also brings the end times.
All of that, from a cow! These people are (to quote Lewis Black) stone-cold-fuck-nuts.
But you will also notice that the Left-Behind series never has any books about how great it is to be raptured.
Posted by: Ian Spedding, FCD | August 3, 2009 6:37 PM
Of course, not suprisingly, the idiots who are saying "bring it on" to Armageddon all assume that they are not the ones that'll wind up as charcoal briquettes on God's barbecue.Posted by: Art | August 3, 2009 6:56 PM
I you look at major religious based, ultra-right and pro-Israel newsletters, magazines and web sites from five or ten years ago you would find a lot of advertising for Ness Energy. The oil rig on a Bible was a common graphic in these sources. Often accompanied by favorable articles and commentary. I remember wondering about the contradictions between being pro-Israel, and the claimed economic boom they would get with a large discovery of oil, and, on the other hand, a massive war, Armageddon and what the fate of the Jews is supposed to be. Then again the down side was, is, not emphasized.
Posted by: Anton Mates | August 3, 2009 7:29 PM
Well, if it's a Left Behind-style Armageddon, the resulting Kingdom of Heaven is basically a white, suburban, conservative Christian Earth. I wouldn't be surprised if private property laws remain in force and Mr. Cojanis--whether Raptured or martyred and then resurrected--can cash out his stocks and live in luxury.
Posted by: Intelligent Designer | August 3, 2009 8:32 PM
Everybody needs to be scared. People that don't have real fear in their life go find some. They might participate in risky behavior, watch scary movies, become obsessed with Bible prophecy or fret that some ideology opposed to theirs will take over the world.
Yes there is something wrong with this person. He's not evil he is just gullible. When I was a church-goer I knew a lot of people like him. Most of those people were honest decent people that would never think of ripping someone off. Unfortunately they project their honesty onto others who pretend to believe for the purpose of ripping-off Christians.
When I was a Christian, there was nothing that could make me madder than a TV preacher.
Posted by: Sastra
|
August 3, 2009 8:52 PM
Intelligent Designer #110 wrote:
I'm not so sure that the line between the two is clear here. As I said above, he can be a nice, fuzzy-headed old man and he can be buying into a world view which makes evil seem normal and banal -- and become a normal, banal sort of evil himself, in the process.
The bloody destruction of the entire world is going to be a good thing, because he will be with Jesus, and be safe. The fiery torments of hell will not bother him, because it will be other people burning there -- expendable, worthless, unimportant people who "deserve" it. The focus is all on the saved.
His empathy for other human beings has been deadened -- not just because he listened to others and believed them, but because he actively participated in doing this to himself, that he might be fit to keep company with God and angels. Bring on the end of the world, and soon!
It's creepy and disturbing. He's not just a victim. He's a willing participant.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
August 3, 2009 9:01 PM
*Cue the Twilight Zone music intro....Posted by: Intelligent Designer | August 3, 2009 9:21 PM
Well, I can't judge him too harshly for that since I willing pay taxes to the US government. Even worse I invest using Index funds which are filled with companies exploiting people in ways they shouldn't.
Posted by: Sastra
|
August 3, 2009 9:32 PM
Intelligent Designer #113 wrote:
I wasn't talking about Cojanis being a willing participant in the financial scam to find oil. I'm talking about his being a willing participant in the eager expectation and hope for the destruction of the world and most of its people.
He's not just investing for financial gain while realizing that there may very well be negative consequences he really doesn't like, but so what. He's telling himself that he's investing so those consequences will be joyfully realized. He likes them just fine, thank you -- more than the money.
I assume you don't invest using Index funds for the purpose of gleefully exploiting people, as your ultimate goal.
Posted by: VolcanoMan | August 3, 2009 10:06 PM
I think that Daniel Finke (#32) hit the nail on the head. The biggest danger any functioning democracy faces is a large number of people behaving irrationally, based on their faith. When faith is a virtue and asking questions a sin, people can be convinced of practically anything. Stories like this are amusing and disturbing because only a small number of individuals are involved; en masse however, the irrational become a political force to be reckoned with.
It is for this reason that the accomodationists' strategy is fundamentally flawed - when you start appeasing the irrationality, when politicians have to make concessions to pastors to get segments of the population to vote for them, policy becomes tainted by religious agendas. Granted, not all religious people are this far-gone, but how do you decide which ridiculous ideas to accomodate? If it's a matter of abundant public support, when does a religious meme become commonplace enough that you stop opposing it and give it equal status with the rational memes?
This is meme warfare and a significant segment of the American population has become unable to tell the difference between a good idea and a bad one because a) critical thinking is discouraged by both their government (former government at least), and by their religious leaders, and b) there is such an insane volume of ideas out there, and the exposure that they get is determined not by their validity but by the media exposure that can be purchased by their proponents. A public that is unable to make choices based on reason is a public that can be easily convinced to support basically anything...a public that won't know when it is being lied to, one that will not look for, or expect evidence to support or contradict claims.
Accomodationists, by not fighting against these memes with all of the rationality they possess, contribute to the problem. Faith becomes normalised. We become desensitised to increasingly more ridiculous circumstances (it's just another silly religious person!). Like it or not, you don't have to know how to make a good choice to vote in an election, and you don't have to be rational to run for office. This isn't a big, friendly thought-experiment: these people impact our lives!
Posted by: Aquaria | August 4, 2009 5:38 AM
Pay someone to fake some adultery photos and have some wife kill her husband... that's murder. Attempt to have thousands kill thousands and it's "a darling old fool"?
"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic." --Joseph Stalin
Of course, the difference between the average fundie and Stalin or the average Stalinist is roughly nil, or as I always referred to these types, the "heads I win, tails you lose crowd."
Posted by: strangebrew | August 4, 2009 10:16 AM
Seems that it could not have happened to a nicer more deserving kind of guy....
And he is still in denial...sums up the xian fundy mindset...
Anyone that deluded should be just laughed at...it is all they deserve...
Posted by: JT | August 4, 2009 4:40 PM
Hold on PZ, Hayseed is dead. Let the man RIP. And while he may be fodder for your superior evolutionary mind, although is was a random event - your mind that is, there are others that are marching ever closer to proving you wrong. Question - will you be man enough to eat crow when and if it happens? That is - oil is discovered in Israel.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/mideastreligionoil
P.S. Just in case you are still interested. Read about the recent 6.3 Trillion cuft natural gas discovery 50 miles off the coast of Haifa.
http://investors.nobleenergyinc.com/releasedetail.cfm?ReleaseID=394724
Blessings,
JT
Posted by: Smoggy Batrubble | August 4, 2009 4:53 PM
Praise the Lord Brother JT!
Brother Hayseed was right! My shares will be worth billions! I'M RICH!!!!
But that also means the Armageddon is just around the corner... and the Rapture is going to come... and all the evildoers will be wiped out... and along with it the international financial system... Bill Gates will be a pauper... and so will I [sob]
You know what, Brother JT? You can take every supercilious blessing you've ever given, write them on a large roll of paper, roll that paper into an enormous wedge, and shove it up your puckered puritan arsehole.
Yours in Christian disappointment
Smoggy
Posted by: Owlmirror | August 4, 2009 11:03 PM
Since oil has not been discovered, that does need an "if", not a "when".
Natural gas is not oil, 50 miles off the coast is not in Israel itself, and Haifa is about 30 miles north of where Zion Oil is drilling.
We will see what we will see.
Posted by: Kel, OM | August 4, 2009 11:15 PM
Massive swing and miss for JT there, you'd think the point of the blog entry was obvious... guess not
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | August 5, 2009 3:38 PM
This is worthy of Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. :-D
Ephraim Kishon himself has told a variant. It involves the Children of Israel needing fuel to keep driving. God tells Moses to strike the rock so that
wateroil would flow out... and nothing happens. And God says: "Well, then the Children of Israel will have to walk." And they walked for 40 years and finally reached "the Promised Land, where milk and honey flow, but no oil."Really? What about me, then?
Posted by: James_Diego | August 6, 2009 2:00 AM
Never trust a guy named ‘Hayseed’, but can you trust John Brown?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/mideastreligionoil
http://media.zionoil.com/2008/10/the_great_treasure_hunt.pdf
A short poem to encourage John Brown and Zion Oil & Gas to keep digging for that there oil. God is in control and will take care of the rest.
Please do not thank me for this little investment tip. I already read your comments to my friend JT.
__________________________________________________________
Adapted From Keith Green, Improvised by 70x7, Titled by JT
__________________________________________________________
JOHN BROWN IS DIGGIN DEEP, HIS FAITH IN GOD COMPLETE
Just think about ole Brown,
looking for oil,
in a land where no oil had been found.
All the skeptics would laugh,
at his treasure map,
the “Book” don’t know what’s underground.
But the Lord said, hey Brownie be still,
drill where I tell you to drill,
soon the world’s gonna’ know that you were doin’ My will.
You just keep doing your best,
An pray that it’s blessed,
Hey JB, I’ll take care of the rest.
____________________________________________________________
A blessing to all you randomly generated biological entities in possession of superior atheistic minds.
____________________________________________________________
Posted by: Ole the Oil Geologist | August 7, 2009 2:58 AM
Well, there IS oil in Israel.
First of all, there's the historically significant "Bitumen of Judea", found along the northern shores of the Dead Sea.
Then there's the Meged oil field:
http://energy.ihs.com/NR/rdonlyres/8AC20AE4-EEF2-4461-9093-7F88D385825D/0/II13_GivotOlam.pdf
But under the southwest corner of the Dead Sea?
Highly unlikely: It's the wrong kind of rocks.
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