…and this is a 
Kevin Miller, screenwriter for the propaganda film Expelled, has a new project in the works that follows in the Christian movie tradition.
Creation, Resurrection Pictures' first original film project—a humorous and tearful story of a high school biology teacher's struggle to expose the lie of evolution, based on the life of creation evangelist Dr. Kent Hovind and written by Kevin Miller the writer of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed is scheduled for production in 2010.
I was rolling my eyes, nothing more, as I read that, until I hit those magic words, "Dr Kent Hovind"…then I had to smirk. Seriously? Tax cheat and fraud and recipient of an advanced degree from an unaccredited split-level diploma mill in Colorado, with a dissertation that begins "Hello, my name is Kent Hovind", and that is little more than a collection of magazine articles snipped out and pasted in a scrap book…and that is Kevin Miller's hero?
I predict that there will be a wee bit of truth-stretching in that screenplay.
Comments
Posted by: hje | August 15, 2009 7:33 PM
Should be a hit with the teabaggers.
Posted by: Wes | August 15, 2009 7:35 PM
I wonder if Kirk Cameron will play Hovind?
Posted by: Hurin | August 15, 2009 7:37 PM
UUUUGGGHH... Barf.
The most repugnant thing on earth is watching a lying sociopath trying to grope for an emotional appeal.
Posted by: arrakis
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August 15, 2009 7:37 PM
If they're willing to travel down to Florida, they can get a certain "set" for cheap...
Posted by: John Marley | August 15, 2009 7:37 PM
I have no doubt it will be; just not the way Miller intends.
Posted by: Glef | August 15, 2009 7:38 PM
Oh god, Kent Hovind. I didn't think it was possible to seriously claim the earth's atmosphere was covered in ice until I saw his lecture videos on youtube.
Posted by: Steve_C | August 15, 2009 7:41 PM
This will be a bigger flop than Expelled.
Posted by: Bueller_007
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August 15, 2009 7:43 PM
You have no idea how much I want to see this movie.
I predict it will be an unintentional and extremely shitty remake of "Crumb".
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | August 15, 2009 7:44 PM
Well hey, if you can't prove your side with evidence, there is always crying your arse to make you look like the victim. I wonder, though, how many rolled eyes this work of fiction will get?
Posted by: anti.theist
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August 15, 2009 7:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aISBPBtlqGM
I absolutely love the quote 46 seconds in!
My daughter will eat good this school year - I have their god to thanks for that.
Thanks PZ wonderful dumpster diving!
Posted by: Juniper | August 15, 2009 7:58 PM
Humorous is right, but tearful? Perhaps when considering the amount of money being wasted on this project...
Posted by: the bug guy | August 15, 2009 7:59 PM
The link goes to a press release from Resurrection Pictures for a movie about bullying.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | August 15, 2009 7:59 PM
Ah, the memories. Will the "framists" declare it a bigger success than Expelled [jazz hands!], or have they drifted apart since the halcyon days of framism?
Posted by: ChrisKG | August 15, 2009 8:04 PM
I actually have one of his (Hovind) DVDs and I cannot tell you how many lies it contains but it could be summed up as an error rate on a per minute basis. The best part is when he states that lizards never stop growing, therefore before the Fall of Man they grew so large they were called dragons—read dinosaurs. Somehow he manages to avoid how it is that dinosaurs are also guilty of Adam and Eve’s sin. I’m still scratching my head over that one.
Posted by: topquark | August 15, 2009 8:05 PM
I've always wondered about Kent Hovind being 'a high school biology' teacher. He's never, that I've heard, garnered any qualifications that would even qualify him to teach science in a real school. Perhaps he taught in some crappy religious institution at some point?
Posted by: Reginald Selkirk | August 15, 2009 8:05 PM
Another religious movie in the works:
Legion
God gets fed up with mankind, and sends angels to kill us all off.
Posted by: Mud | August 15, 2009 8:06 PM
And I thought the "Scary Movie" franchise was as horrifyingly as entertainment media could sink...
Posted by: tubbolard | August 15, 2009 8:06 PM
well at least you'll have another movie to make fun of ad nauseam.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 15, 2009 8:08 PM
I hope Hovind or his family isn't standing to make any money from this. I wonder if there has been any discussion on that subject.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 15, 2009 8:10 PM
aren't
pfft
Posted by: ChrisKG | August 15, 2009 8:12 PM
Hey, maybe Kevin Miller won't pay his taxes on this film so he and Kent can spend some quality time together.
Posted by: The Science Pundit
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August 15, 2009 8:12 PM
@Wes (#2)
That would be perfect casting. Besides, I hear Kirk can't get roles in real films these days; he could use the work.
Posted by: Itspiningforthefjords
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August 15, 2009 8:12 PM
I was somehow instantly reminded of the MP&tFC infamous "Ant" program - the scene where PB Shelley reads the ant-version* and says something like "Look on my feelers, termites, and despair!"
This seems somehow funny in a very similar way.
*So, what IS the adjective for "ant"?
Posted by: MPG | August 15, 2009 8:13 PM
From what I understand, his oft-repeated boast of having "taught high-school science for 15 years" refers to the home schooling he gave his kids.
Posted by: Scott Fanetti | August 15, 2009 8:15 PM
Am I the only one that is really offended that this film studio is supposed to be tax exempt because it is making films for Christians? What kind of a sick racket do the religious run that they can get away with not paying their taxes like that?!
I want tax exempt status so I can make videos about the flying spaghetti monster and his cephalopod bride.
Posted by: Somnolent Aphid | August 15, 2009 8:15 PM
Hey, as long as there is an audience for this stuff, a way to make money off it, they'll continue making them. And heck, as long as there are people who think Sarah Palin is intelligent, speaks to them, and would make a good... anything, then there will be people who are willing to spend their money on tripe movies like this one promises to be. I can see it now... the feel good movie of the year. That's what sells! None of this sciencey stuff please! It's too dry and boring and... (excuse me, I've been watching too much history channel this past few days with their angels and demons crap-o-la).
Posted by: Carlie | August 15, 2009 8:17 PM
I swear, I read that three times, and each time saw "Ken Miller" instead of Kevin Miller and couldn't figure out why the apocalypse had already occurred.
Posted by: SC, OM | August 15, 2009 8:18 PM
The page about his "dissertation" from P"U" is pretty funny.
Posted by: Hoonser
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August 15, 2009 8:18 PM
Looks like it'll be the comedy hit of the season!
Honestly, these people preaching the bible really have no bloody clue of what they're even reading.
Has anybody heard the idea that the book of Genesis is meant to be a political insult to the Babylonians?
The general idea is the Babylonians believed the stars represented their gods. Whereas the Jewish god conjured up the stars with just a wave of his big offensive hand.
Sort of like 'Oh yeah? Well our god is *clearly* superior to your gods, howdja like them tomatoes?'
Posted by: se-rat-o-SAWR-us | August 15, 2009 8:18 PM
Better clear up some space on the iPod.
Posted by: MPG | August 15, 2009 8:19 PM
"Formicine"
Posted by: jpf | August 15, 2009 8:19 PM
Itspiningforthefjords:
Formic.
Posted by: Zeno | August 15, 2009 8:20 PM
And does the "hero" go to jail for tax fraud at the end of the movie?
Sniff! I just love happy endings!
Posted by: TheBiologista | August 15, 2009 8:20 PM
Isn't "Creation" the title of the new film about Darwin and the publication of On The Origin with Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly? Maybe a change of title for the Hovind project would be appropriate. Following the slightly ironic pattern, maybe they should call it "On The Origin of..."
Hovind?
Stupid?
Facepalm?
Endless possibilities.
Posted by: James F | August 15, 2009 8:20 PM
Reginald Selkirk #16,
That actually looks like a movie that the fundamentalists will be boycotting or picketing. I mean, it says the trailer was shown at that den of iniquity, Comic Con. Looks like Independence Day with angels, with a touch of Children of Men.
Posted by: MPG | August 15, 2009 8:24 PM
Correcting my own earlier post - I was misinformed; Hovind taught at three Baptist schools before founding his own, all private.
Posted by: Rorschach | August 15, 2009 8:25 PM
antsy?
I read that to be Ken Miller as well....
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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August 15, 2009 8:26 PM
The ignore and read a book movie of next summer.
Posted by: James F | August 15, 2009 8:27 PM
Itspiningforthefjords #23,
Another ant-related term that I like is "myrmidon," derived from the soldiers of Achilles who were, by legend, changed from ants to men. An NPR commentator used it to refer to unruly town hall meeting attendees.
Posted by: Rick R | August 15, 2009 8:27 PM
Reginald Selkirk #16-
"Another religious movie in the works:
Legion
God gets fed up with mankind, and sends angels to kill us all off."
This looks like a ripoff of "The Prophecy", which was really pretty good when it comes to preposterous religious horror movies. I'd actually recommend it to xians. It makes angels look scary as hell, and Lucifer is the good guy!
Alas, Legion is just another common piece of Hollywood crap. I'm surprised it's not based on a comic book.
"I could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better movie!!"- Roger Ebert
Posted by: SC, OM | August 15, 2009 8:33 PM
I think "new project..." is the wrong link.
Posted by: handthatbites | August 15, 2009 8:35 PM
MPG @24
HIs wikipedia page says that he taught at 4 high schools, all private (one his own creation, no pun intended). This means that anyone they dubbed a teacher was one, I have been aware for these claims for over ten years, but always found it telling that there are no testimonials from prior "students" or endorsements from these so called schools where speaking rapidly must have been a substitute for actual understanding of concepts.
Posted by: jpf | August 15, 2009 8:36 PM
The guy behind Resurrection Pictures is televangelist Paul Crouch Jr. of TBN fame.
Posted by: Zen Druid | August 15, 2009 8:37 PM
[i]...a humorous and tearful story...[/i] Tears of hysterical laughter?
As to Kent's "15 years of teaching high school science"...it took 15 years of homskul to teach his larvae 4 years of science?
Posted by: jpf | August 15, 2009 8:39 PM
Sorry, Paul Crouch Jr. is the son of the televangelist.
Posted by: Armand K. | August 15, 2009 8:44 PM
Careful with that. After this prediction proves true, someone might add it to other predictions (and "predictions") and start a new religion... Some 25 years from now, us poor atheists might find ourselves arguing agains Myerists or Pharyngulists!Posted by: EricB | August 15, 2009 8:45 PM
Why don't they do a documentary on me? A high school biology teacher trying to teach the TRUTH of EVOLUTION in a southern town where if you are not at church everytime the door is open then "THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT BOY".
I cannot wait for that movie to be made. I lived in a town where people drove by my house every night just to keep an eye on me....to make sure I was doing nothing that might be SINFUL. Hypocrites.....love to point the finger at all those around who do not live UP to their expectations, but are very quick to forgive family members who go to CHURCH but also make MISTAKES. I will shut up now...rambliing on. I am one who believes in Live and Let Live.
Posted by: SuperCorgi | August 15, 2009 8:46 PM
Another religious movie in the works:
Legion
God gets fed up with mankind, and sends angels to kill us all off.
Somehow I don't think the nice Christian families are going to take their kiddies to see this one. Too much nasty, nasty violence. But I've got to say, that Archangel Michael is one bad ass angel. :-) (Although why he has to use guns and rocket launchers is beyond me)
Posted by: Greg F. | August 15, 2009 8:48 PM
I guess Miller decided that he wants the "TV rots your brain" axiom to be proven true. Something tells me that movie will go straight to DVD since basing a hero tale on Hovind is a bit like making a film about the importance of abstinence with Casanova as your protagonist.
Posted by: Feynmaniac | August 15, 2009 8:49 PM
Read the page about Hovind's dissertation. It is fucking hilarious!
Posted by: weaves | August 15, 2009 8:55 PM
No doubt this has been mentioned many times in the past, but I can't help but laugh every time I read "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed".
They really did ban intelligence from it
Posted by: The Thomas Society | August 15, 2009 8:57 PM
That loud smack you just heard was from not only the Christian in me, but the writer in me, and the good taste in me.
Muttering and wishing someone would make a movie from a Flannery O'Connor instead of this horseshit.
Posted by: akg41470 | August 15, 2009 9:02 PM
Oh my! A movie about Kent Hovind!
Of all the creationist things I avoid buying but want to see just for the "car-wreck" fascination in it, I think I may actually go see this just for the good chortle.
Then again, it might make me horribly mad.
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | August 15, 2009 9:05 PM
On the subject of Hovind's dissertation, if that's the acedemic rigor of a thesis these day, then why did I spend weeks to get my 15 page essay reviewed and edited to make it grammatically correct?
I should of BSed it like he did.
Posted by: merkin j pus-tart | August 15, 2009 9:27 PM
Slumming around the website for Patriot Bible "University" I found this gem on the testimonials section . . . "It was amazing to me what a piece of paper would change. It didn't really make me a better teacher but it changed the way people view me - Melissa Marlowe, China Grove, NC"
Posted by: bunnycatch3r | August 15, 2009 9:33 PM
Ok, Edward Current must be behind Resurrection Pictures - I call Poe!
Posted by: Kevin Miller | August 15, 2009 9:33 PM
Before you talk about me, pz, try talking to me. You're a scientist. Make sure you're working with all of the facts before you arrive at a conclusion. I'm very easy to find online.
Posted by: jpf | August 15, 2009 9:40 PM
Kevin Miller:
Will your movie about Kent Hovind include his involvement with the Embassy Of Heaven?
Posted by: SC, OM | August 15, 2009 9:41 PM
Such as?
Posted by: Kingasaurus | August 15, 2009 9:41 PM
Uh, Kevin...
The "fact" that you're making a sympathetic movie based on Kent Hovind's life is good enough for a laugh all by itself.
Any additional info that could be gleaned by talking to you directly would just be more giggles icing the cake.
Posted by: wistah | August 15, 2009 9:41 PM
"split-level diploma mill"
Nearly spit out my food when I read this. HFS. Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by: sasqwatch
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August 15, 2009 9:43 PM
I'm taking my popcorn back to the balloon-animal thread.
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | August 15, 2009 9:46 PM
Hey, I've got an idea - why don't you arrange to meet PZ somewhere like a cafe? Then you can have some hired goons on security detail prevent him from coming inside, and then brag about how you scared him off and proved that evolution is a lie.
Posted by: KVBCanuck | August 15, 2009 9:46 PM
Tax cheat and fraud?
Hell, he's cabinet material for the current POTUS!! ;)
...that coming from an atheist.
Posted by: raven | August 15, 2009 9:48 PM
Hmmmm, no you are confused. The film about upstanding xian Promise Keepers stars Governor Mark Sanford of SC. Ted Haggard appears in a cameo playing himself as a former meth addict with a yen for call boys.
The fundies are desperate for heros because they don't have any. Sarah Palin, the idiot hillbilly with a sordid family life, Joe the nonplumber who doesn't seem to have a job for very long, Kent Hovind the convicted felon, Canned Ham the liar, and who knows what else the cat will drag in.
Posted by: MoxieHart | August 15, 2009 9:49 PM
This makes me wish that MST3K were still on the air. I bet that Mike &/or Joel and the Bots could have fun with this.
Posted by: druidbros | August 15, 2009 9:49 PM
And I hear Ben Stein is available since he was fired by the NY Times.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 15, 2009 9:51 PM
Well you're here Kev, how about letting out any pertinent info you might want known?
Pretty easy as you obviously have a working knowledge of how to post here.
Posted by: James F | August 15, 2009 9:52 PM
#57 Kevin,
But (assuming you approved that press release) how on earth are you characterizing evolution as a "lie?" I've had this conversation with you before - a handful of people affiliated with the ID movement have published a few scientific papers, but in them there is no data refuting evolution. Thus, your claim would have to be that scientists - from PZ to me - are either involved in a sinister global conspiracy or are incompetent. Which option will you portray in this film?
Posted by: mikecbraun | August 15, 2009 9:53 PM
They should make people with bad ideas like this just donate their money to the universal health care pool. Then tax churches--problem solved. Health care for everyone! Yay! Thank you creationists! You guys are so great! Do you think I've been drinking too much today?
Posted by: raven | August 15, 2009 9:55 PM
Why would anyone sane want to talk to you? You are a supremely dishonest pathological liar. PZ and Dawkins might have a few memories of how you misrepresented your fairy tale about evolution called Expelled to them to get some interviews.
It's evil cultists like you who are destroying xianity in the USA. Check the stats for the last few decades. Between 1 and 2 million people leave the religion every year.
Posted by: Bobber | August 15, 2009 9:56 PM
...followed by "I Coulda Been A Priest", a hilarious yet touching tale of the Josef Stalin's selfless efforts to bring about a Workers' Paradise, to be followed by "You Can't Torquemada Anything"*, a funny yet sad narrative about the famous Holy Man's subtle investigations into the depravities of non-Christians, to be followed by "Love Is A Two-Edged Knife", a guffaw-inducing yet heartbreaking account of Saucy Jack's search for just the Right Girl in London's East End...
*Thank you, Mel Brooks
Posted by: mikecbraun | August 15, 2009 9:56 PM
Kevin Miller says he's, "...very easy to find online."
Watch out. You talk to a creationist Evangelical online, next thing you know, they're at your door wearing a gimp mask with a bag of crystal meth.
Posted by: defiantskeptic | August 15, 2009 10:02 PM
I am looking forward to it, to be honest. It'll give me something to write about, and I'm sure more than a few good laughs.
Also, PZ, your post could not have come at a better time, because I needed a crackpot of the week for my blog, and I was racking my brain, and now I have him. "Doctor" Kent Hovind.
Posted by: SpontOrder | August 15, 2009 10:02 PM
Kevin --
Will you include a scene of a high school 'science' teacher Kent Hovind not being able to recall the 4 letters commonly used to detail DNA?
Will you use Hovind's original slides or will they get sexed up for Hollywood?
SO
Posted by: michael j | August 15, 2009 10:04 PM
Kevin #57,
Why would people bother trying to talk to you? There are a lot of questions at ATBC that you haven't answered yet.
Like Hovind you are a documented liar.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 15, 2009 10:06 PM
I just threw up a little with those two words in the same sentence.
Please be careful with your word choices in the future.
Posted by: J-Dog | August 15, 2009 10:09 PM
Kevin 11! Come talk to us at ATBC! We are ready to believe you!
Posted by: sasqwatch
|
August 15, 2009 10:09 PM
...but before I go, I must say... PZ... you should try to be more charitable in your interpretation of the "Dr" in "Dr Ken Hovind". In southcentral Colorado (I'm in Colo Spgs.), the title "Dr" can also be a heteronym meaning "extremely stupid person". It's pronounced "Durrrrrrrr". And if you do it in a Sylvester Stallone-type voice, it works to even better effect.
Posted by: raven | August 15, 2009 10:10 PM
I wonder if the film will detail how not to evade taxes. Hovind was associated with some far right tax protestors. He had some convoluted explanation of why he didn't have to pay taxes involving the illegality of federal taxes and Soverign Immunity or some such.
Normally if you get caught for tax evasion, you pay the taxes and penalties and that is the end of it. It takes real effort to tick off the feds enough that they press felony charges.
If you look at Kent Hovinds continual career of lies, quarter truths, and occasional crimes, it is easy to conclude that he is a sociopath. This is the fundie's idea of a hero?
Posted by: Juniper | August 15, 2009 10:12 PM
@jph #58
Why did you have to go and post a portal to such insanity?? Ai ai ai, my poor shuddering brain!
Posted by: Eric B | August 15, 2009 10:14 PM
#58 that linked me to a child's website....looks like something a 10 year old might create as part of a vacation bible school class......scary.
Posted by: sasqwatch
|
August 15, 2009 10:14 PM
Ken-->Kent
Posted by: JiminKy | August 15, 2009 10:15 PM
@TheBiologista: Look no further. I've got a title that sums up Hovind and this movie in one phrase.
"On the Origin of Feces."
Posted by: ChrisKG | August 15, 2009 10:16 PM
I just took a look at Kevin Miller's blog and I noticed that he has almost no comments on his blog. It’s sad really. Maybe he suffers from Blog envy.
His blog is http://kevinwrites.typepad.com/otherwise_known_as_kevin_/
Posted by: Cheezits | August 15, 2009 10:17 PM
Make sure you're working with all of the facts before you arrive at a conclusion.
And another irony meter bites the dust.
I have yet to see a creationist use ANY facts before arriving at a conclusion.
Posted by: Longstreet63 | August 15, 2009 10:17 PM
I feel certain that they could spend a little extra money, shoot it in Germany, and get Uwe Boll to direct it. How much worse could it be? And it would have explosions.
But what's really scary is that in twenty years, Hollywood will be remaking these films to fit in with contemporary audience tastes.
Which, I think proves there is no god. QED.
Posted by: ChrisKG | August 15, 2009 10:20 PM
JiminKY, #84
I think you just insulted feces.
C.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 15, 2009 10:23 PM
A Kent Hovind movie with explosions?
I'd see that.
Posted by: subbie | August 15, 2009 10:27 PM
Long time poster, first time reader.
http://resurrectionpictures.org/boardofdirectors.html describes one Dr. William Harrity, M.D. as the "founding board member" of the Board of Directors of Resurrection Pictures.
http://www.prlog.org/10309204-bio-william-bill-harrity-md-founder-of-resurrection-pictures.html is some goofy type of press release that claims that "Harrity has been involved in all aspects of the entertainment industry for more than 20 years—from credits as a writer, producer, actor, editor and post-production supervisor to international film distribution, domestic home video sales and domestic theatrical distribution. "
According to imdb.com, the entirety of Harrity's film experience was as writer, actor, editor, producer and airplane stunt coordinator for something called "The F-Zone." Never heard of it, but based on the comments it's apparently a screed against the IRS based on the debunked tin-foil-hat claim that the 16th Amendment was never properly ratified so the U.S. has no authority to collect taxes. Hmmm, why am I suddenly reminded of Kent Hovind.....
Posted by: Rick R | August 15, 2009 10:27 PM
Kevin Miller, the ScrEenrYtor is here? Goodie!!
Been meaning to ask you, Kev: what's it like being a lying scumbag??
Posted by: Longstreet63 | August 15, 2009 10:28 PM
On second thought, Paul Verhoeven might be a better fit.
Then it could have explosions AND gratuitous nudity.
What? You want to show in church basements or make money?
Posted by: Andrew | August 15, 2009 10:28 PM
The title of this movie, Creation, is an anagram of my reaction to it: I care not.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | August 15, 2009 10:31 PM
James F:
"Sinister global conspiracy" would be a lot more entertaining.
Posted by: E.V. | August 15, 2009 10:35 PM
So it's going to be a comedy?
Posted by: Rey Fox | August 15, 2009 10:37 PM
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | August 15, 2009 9:46 PM
Oh SNAP!
Posted by: gigi | August 15, 2009 10:38 PM
"You're a scientist. Make sure you're working with all of the facts before you arrive at a conclusion". – Kevin Miller
Okay, I’ll play. What facts are we working with? Let’s start it easy like Sunday morning…
1. Have you written a screenplay based on the life of Kent Hovind?
2. Is it scheduled for production in 2010?
Most importantly,
3. Is it a “humorous and tearful story”?
*fingers crossed number three is a resounding "YES"!*
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood | August 15, 2009 10:41 PM
"Humourous" - because we laugh ourselves sick at the sheer level of idiocy on display.
"Tearful" - because we weep bitter tears of dispair that such cretins are allowed anywhere near impressionable young minds.
"based on the life of creation evangelist Dr. Kent Hovind"
I think that should read; "based on the life of inveterate liar and two-bit conman Kent Hovind."
Sadly, I just don't think I will be able to bring myself to watch this rubbish.
I wonder if PZ will get thrown out of the cinema again?
Posted by: Ritchie Annand | August 15, 2009 10:52 PM
The characters and events depicted in this motion picture are fictional. Any similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
Posted by: BenDover | August 15, 2009 10:53 PM
Kevin,
If you were in Jail with Kent Hovind, who would be the bitch?
Thanks in advance.
Posted by: formosus
|
August 15, 2009 10:56 PM
Are they going to have some moving scenes with his wife making dozens of cash withdrawals that are just below the level that gets flagged? What about the tense prison phone calls with his son where he discusses how to hide evidence?
I'm so happy that that lying bastard is behind bars. I wonder how long it will be until the Hamster joins him?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEGEl4uHQAU
Posted by: raven | August 15, 2009 11:00 PM
That is what got Hovind 58 felony convictions and 8 years in prison. Some sort of nonsense about the IRS being illegal.
Kevin Miller is a victim of polykookery. I'm sure the guy has never heard a far right wing extremist delusion he didn't instantly believe. Global warming is a hoax, FEMA concentration camps, anti-vaccinations, genetically engineered swine flu, Illuminati, satanic cults stealing xian kids, and the current favorite Obama is a Kenyan moslem terrorist.
Forget Hovind who no one excepts kooks and evolutionary biologists have ever heard of. Anti-vaccinations, FEMA concentration camps, demons from hell piloting UFOs, and especially, the Obama birth scandal would make far more money. Or maybe satanic cults. He would have to make everything up but so what. That is what they do anyway.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | August 15, 2009 11:03 PM
In a good movie about debunking of creationism, Peter Irons and Richard Lenski enter the movie, while the soundtrack plays the Kill Bill fight theme. . . .
And cutting their dæmons away!
Posted by: Dale Husband | August 15, 2009 11:09 PM
Did you read the entire page? What P Z copied and pasted on his blog is found at the end.
Posted by: jpf | August 15, 2009 11:09 PM
subbie #90:
Good find. Here's a review of the F-Zone:
Again, given Hovind's connection with the Embassy of Heaven, which advocates loopy tax-protester theories (when not issuing Heaven license plates for your "Heaven vehicle" -- seriously, go look), it doesn't seem like much of a coincidence that the founding board member of a production company making a favorable movie about him would also be into that stuff.
So, Kevin, are you a tax protester too?
Posted by: Chris P | August 16, 2009 12:07 AM
In a totally predictable move Pastor Tom's blog Hardtruth has gone to "members only".
Same as all the other right wing nutcase blogs.
He's got "GOD" on his side but he can't handle atheists. As it was he seemed to have family and friends helping him promulgate his message of cluelessness.
It was interesting while it lasted. I even learned that I had been excommunicated as a Christian and didn't even know it. And that was before I stopped being a Christian. Apparently, if you later in life become an atheist you never were a Christian in the first place, even though you have the paperwork that says you were. Mind boggling.
Posted by: Uerba | August 16, 2009 12:17 AM
Hmm, this sounds like excellent Rifftrax fodder...
Posted by: Darren Garrison | August 16, 2009 12:24 AM
"In a totally predictable move Pastor Tom's blog Hardtruth has gone to "members only"."
Good. Let it fall back into the obscurity it deserves.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 16, 2009 12:38 AM
Totally. The lesson is, when you blog whore you may not like what you get.
Posted by: Tired | August 16, 2009 12:39 AM
Maybe they could write a couple of papers on the evidence for their creation hypothesis? I mean, instead of lying all the time. Oh and btw, I am not sure I can see them as real Christians anymore. They are lying, lying and lying, just like their god told them not to. And don't give me that No True Scotsman Fallacy. If beings arrived from Alpha Centauri and declared themselves to be Scotsmen, I would say no you're not real Scotsmen, you would say "No true Scotsman fallacy!" and I would just sigh and go home.
Posted by: Chayanov | August 16, 2009 12:39 AM
As opposed to Kevin, who is a "documentary" filmmaker, who begins with his conclusions, and who tells lies and fabricates his "facts".
Posted by: Dan W | August 16, 2009 1:10 AM
Ugh, sounds like another movie for me to avoid seeing. Great, another horrible creationist movie being made, probably at least as full of bullshit as Expelled. I'm willing to bet that shortly after it comes out in theaters there'll be lots of creationist trolls on teh interwebz talking about how awesome they think it is. Not something I'll be looking forward to, that's for sure.
By the way, I refuse to call him "Dr" Kent Hovind. Patriot Bible "University" is as much a real university as the Creation "Museum" is a real museum. Just looking at the pictures of it on the Wikipedia page makes it obvious to me that it's a diploma mill.
Posted by: pieceofdebri
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August 16, 2009 1:14 AM
"no intelligence allowed" indeed!
Posted by: bunnycatch3r | August 16, 2009 1:24 AM
Can one be a true creationist and not censor free expression? There really ought to be a meme.
Posted by: Prudence | August 16, 2009 1:25 AM
Will they include his 9/11 truther krazy in the movie too? It'd be a shame to leave out that he believes in UFOs (and govt collaboration in their future enslavement of us), that Oklahoma City was perpetrated by the One World Govt (zee Jews!) and the details of his awesome cryptozoology fetish!
Dr Dino is truly the polykook gift that keeps on giving.
Posted by: Discombobulated | August 16, 2009 1:34 AM
Tired@110:
But... what if they are from the planet Skyron in the Andromeda Galaxy? Would that count?
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | August 16, 2009 1:38 AM
You're a scientist. Make sure you're working with all of the facts before you arrive at a conclusion
Says the person who didn't get his fact straight in the last film he made.
You are right on one thing though. It will be humorous and tearful because we'd be stuck between laughing at the absurd notion that the main character will feebly attempt to prove evolution as a lie and crying that humanity is being driven back into the dark ages by fundies.
Posted by: Freelance | August 16, 2009 1:53 AM
#101
That's the movie soundtrack right there!
Posted by: Cyberguy | August 16, 2009 1:53 AM
Looks like we are going to have to start using the "Hovind Scale" once again as a measure of the insanity in this movie.
For those who don't know, the Hovind Factor describes the degree of stupidity of a creationist statement or argument.
Some background on The Hovind Scale - on RichardDawkins.net
http://tinyurl.com/mo2928
Easy-to-use Hovind Scale Calculator
http://www.alltruism.co.uk/HovindScale.html
Benchmark statements for Hovind Scale variables - on allusionsofgrandeur blog
http://tinyurl.com/n4okk8
Posted by: Mary from Canoga Park | August 16, 2009 1:59 AM
I just hope there's a part for me in the movie. After being stuck to the seats in the bus ...
Posted by: raven | August 16, 2009 2:01 AM
Looks like Kevin Miller is stuck making lunatic fringe films. So many lunatic fringes so little time. He will never run out of material.
EXPLODED. How a conspiracy among astronomers to promote The Big Bang theory resulted in the rise of communism and the Holocaust.
RIPPED APART. How geologist's theory of plate tectonics resulted in the rise of communism and the Holocaust.
DUG UP. How paleontologists finding that the earth is partly covered with miles deep sedimentary rocks full of fossils resulted in the rise of communism and the Holocaust.
KILLING TIME. How geochronology and radiometric dating led to the Holocaust.
When he runs out of science to slander, there are always the crazy right wing xian theories.
COMMIEISM. How Obama intends to turn the USA into a commieland nation by providing universal health coverage.
DAMN FOREIGNER. How Obama is a Kenyan Moslem Terrorist who caused the Holocaust.
SATAN'S LAW How universal health care defies god by refusing to pay for exorcisms and faith healing.
DROWNED. How a Kenyan born moslem terrorist lost a major American city during hurrican Katrina.
When reality is whatever you think it is, there is no limit to the number of reality based documentaries one can make.
Posted by: F | August 16, 2009 2:08 AM
A better "Creation".
http://creationthemovie.com/
Posted by: Mick | August 16, 2009 2:12 AM
@ #57
Kevin. Given that the last time PZ talked to your lot he was lied to, what'd be the point now?
Posted by: sasqwatch
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August 16, 2009 2:13 AM
#120: Mary from Canoga Park
...here's your fifty bucks, Mary.
Posted by: Frank | August 16, 2009 2:16 AM
And here's your icepick in the forehead
Posted by: CriticalAtheist | August 16, 2009 2:21 AM
I had the same reaction as PZ from reading that statement.
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely | August 16, 2009 2:23 AM
Hi Kevin!
Glad to see you saying: "Make sure you're working with all of the facts before you arrive at a conclusion."
Like all the "facts" supporting the so-called Theory of Intelligent Design?
I'm waiting...
Posted by: Dentil Floss Tycoon | August 16, 2009 2:29 AM
Me and the Pygmie pony would love a spot in this important movie.
Posted by: Bobby Brown | August 16, 2009 2:31 AM
I would go down on someone for a part in this flick
Posted by: Dancin Fool | August 16, 2009 2:35 AM
I may be totally wrong but this movie sounds bogus
Posted by: tmaxPA | August 16, 2009 2:43 AM
I predict it will never actually be filmed, let alone released. I know the wackos are capable of great outrages, but I simply can't believe that this story would hold together long enough to be filmed. It would make more atheist-converts amongst the crew then even The Passion .
Posted by: PROCESS OF HOMINIZATION | August 16, 2009 2:46 AM
DAPHNE, the most ancient HUMAN discovered!
16th International Congress of the International Union of Anthropological and Ethnological Sciences (IUAES)
THE PROCESS OF HOMINIZATION
By Drs Aris and Daphne N. Poulianos
Kunming, China 31-7-09
The title of this paper may sound a little deterministic, but I am convinced we human beings went through a longer period of hominization, than usual historians, including marxists, allow to conclude today.
We definitely come from apes, but not African ones. Once upon a time lived in Europe over fifty species of monkeys. But an ape, which I named Helladopithecus semierectus, lived on trees, seventeen million years ago (ANTHROPOS, V3, N01, Jan. 1976, pp3 – 30, Athens).
The well known Pikermi fauna of the Miocene period is found from Hungary through Balkans to Iran: (Wagner, A1840: Fossile Uberreste Von einem Affen und anderensau getierren aus Griechenland. Abh. Bayer. Akad. Wiss, 3, Munchen). Among other finds, a very important of that period was Mesopithecus pentelici, whose range also extended over a large territory, beyond Greece, and which is known to be a terrestrial monkey. It’s wide extension over a large territory, presupposes, that some anthropomorphic monkeys could ’’descend from trees’’ (Roghinski, J.J. & M.G. Levin, 1963: Anthropologhia, Moskva, str. 184 – 185), and begun to walk. Consequently among those “descenders” could be some andecedent forms of man.
Another lower jaw from Attica found by a german officer during the years of occupation (1942) and described by G.Von Koenigswald, (1972: Einunterkiefez eines fossilen Hominoiden aus dem unterpliozan Griechenlands. Konikl. Nederl. Akademie Van Wetenschappen. Series B, 75, No 5, str. 385 – 394, Amsterdam), seems to be an advanced form which does not belong to Dryopithecinae, and which might also represent the beginning of African Primates. Koenigswald gave him a not very successful name “graecopithecus”. Its age is about 9 million years old. The lower jaw of another specimen found by the French expedition in 1972 near Thessaloniki, was named Dryopethicus macedoniensis. But it is also of a more advanced type than the Dryopithecinae, and according to Koenigswald is more closely affiliated with the hominids. Its age is Upper Miocene (Vallesian).
Finally, the find described in this paper (Helladopithecus), is the upper part of a left femur found by our expedition in 1974 near Tharounia, a village in the island of Euboea. The age established lately, is Lower Miocene, about 17 million years old, confirmed by its stratigraphy, as well, and kept now in the Anthropological Museum of the Archanthropus man at Petralona, Chalkidiki.
It is fully described and decided to be a semierectus monkey, as these authors call the whole complex of similar finds from Attica and Makedonia too.
The new bone find is 98 mm. long (given the signal name ‘’A.E. – 1’’, seems to belong to a rather young individual, and its whole length (proportionally counted) cannot be more than 350 mm. That is the standing height should be about 140-150cm. Its weight, according to Debetz index (ICVS), approximately should be about 40-42 klgms. The stoutness index then is about 22, 85 (the same index for Orang, Chimpanzee and Gorilla, being 32-33, while for man is 18-21.
But among all these indirect methods of identifying a find, the best would be to measure exactly the Torsion angle, in order to establish the percentage of its erect position. Thus a new method was developed to measure the torsion angle in a broken femur bone. This method is based on the assumption that the torsion angle (Θ) of a bone is directly proportional to the angle of its cylindrical surface (α). (See designs 2 and 3). The axis of a bone is the line passing through all gravity centers of all its side section (AB). The edge of the cylindrical surface of a bone is the line uniting all corresponding corners of the cross – section (ΓΔ). That is: θ=Κ.α, where Κ – proportionality coefficient.
And this assumption is based on
a)the geometrical similarity of corresponding bones of different animals.
b)The physico-chemical similarity of bones, and
c)On the approximately constant ratio between animal weight and cross-sectional area, that is the stress of bone loading is almost constant (the animal weight per unit of cross-sectional bone area).
In order to find Κ we take a similar unbroken contemporary bone, and measure its angles θ and α:
Κ= θ. Unbroken / α. unbroken
Then we measure the angle α of the broken bone and find angle
θ.broken = K.a unbroken = θ. Unbroken . α. broken / α. unbroken
Angle α is the average of angles β & γ.
The angles β & γ can be found by photographing the bone and measuring these angles on the picture. In order to make edge ΓΔ clearly distinguishable we illuminate the bone from the side. Then ΓΔ becomes the border line of two differently illuminated surfaces. In our case we took 17 differently oriented pictures of both bones, broken and unbroken (see pictures in the text and table 1).
The result of these procedures showed that θ (torsion) broken = 18ο , which means that this monkey was about 65% erect during his lifetime. That means he was pretty much erect, certainly more erect than most today’s African primates. Thus, it is concluded, Helladopithecus could be the forerunner of Homo.
Finally, we raise to the rank of a separate family the whole complex of Helladopithecus finds from Greece, classifying it right after the Hominid family. As a result of the above process we have the first standing man on earth, Homo erectus trilliensis, spreading all over the world from this region of the Aegean, of the SE of Europe 13 million years ago.
The over one hundred years long discussion among anthropologists (‘’polyphyletic versus monophyletic origins’’) sounds is ending. Monophyletic origin of man (from Helladopithecus to Homo erectus trilliensis) to our opinion is more or less confirmed who spread from Atlantic to Pacific and then all over the rest of the world. It seems every biological species on earth develops from one center, and then it spreads all over.
In the mean time excavations are going on: A new find, a part of the skeleton of a young girl of 14 years old was found. The find was named Homo erectus trilliensis Daphnae, after the name of the lady present in this hall Mrs Daphnae A.Poulianos.
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 16, 2009 2:55 AM
If you really want to puke, check out their website:
www.resurrectionpictures.org
http://www.resurrectionpictures.org/whychristianfilm.html
What makes me puke is that they actually get money for this.
Posted by: KevinC | August 16, 2009 2:56 AM
Un. Be. Lievable.
What's next? VenomFangX: The PCS Story? The heartrending tale of a young man, blessed by God with infinite chutzpah, who gets beat up by a brutal gang of facts but goes on to win the Nobel Prize for proving that the Moon is, in fact, made of cheese.
Thank you, Kevin Miller! With enemies like you, we don't need friends!
*Pro-tip: If you want to make a movie to advance your cause, center it on a protagonist with some admirable character traits.
Posted by: Rorschach | August 16, 2009 2:57 AM
Good for him .
Posted by: ThingFish | August 16, 2009 3:23 AM
Da flubbulence of yo' flobbulence done reciprocated to da respectimal reclusium.
YOW!! Science!
Posted by: Svetogorsk | August 16, 2009 3:55 AM
About five years ago, a Canadian nutjob named Adam Yoshida ran what was hands down one of the funniest blogs on the net. Much like Pastor Tom, he'd post deranged, bigoted drivel, and 99% of his commenters would mock him - and, increasingly, have interesting discussions amongst themselves. Much of the time I don't think anyone even bothered to read the main posts - I'd skim the first and last paragraphs (they tended to be very long) and got the general gist.
Sadly, it all came to an end just after the 2004 Presidential election, when Andrew Sullivan posted a link to a particularly repellent rant, his traffic soared... and a couple of days later he shut off comments altogether. He brought them back a few months later, once he realised that his readership had plunged to single figures, but by then it was far too late. He's still gibbering away, but he's lucky to get comments in the low single figures these days.
I was hoping Tom's blog would be the 2009 equivalent, and it certainly seemed to be heading that way. While his own posts were worthless except as a textbook illustration of hypocrisy in practice (they bore no relation to the blog's title or subtitle, being full of lies and irrational Bible-driven prejudice), the quality of the comments was generally and increasingly excellent - and I'm very much including the more thoughtful Christians in that assessment.
Posted by: sasqwatch
|
August 16, 2009 4:11 AM
God knows what hes doin; He wrote this book here, an the book says:
He made us all to be just like him, So... If were dumb...
Then God is dumb... (an maybe even a little ugly on the side)
Posted by: MadScientist | August 16, 2009 4:26 AM
"... a new project in the works that follows in the Christian movie tradition."
That would be lousy stories and poor acting I bet. Even Cecil B. de Mille's stuff looks pretty hammy but he genuinely wanted something of a cross between Shakespearean theater and Ziegfeld's Follies in his movies; Miller's dreck isn't interesting even from an artistic perspective.
I like how they load their sentences with lies such as "the lie of evolution"; he may as well say "If you're one of those ignoramuses who choose to not believe in evolution, this movie is for you."
Posted by: Tilsim | August 16, 2009 4:36 AM
Raven @ #121
Marvelous ideas! Those titles are too good to be given away, though. There may be job opportunities for you in Gollywood.
Posted by: Svetogorsk | August 16, 2009 4:52 AM
Not necessarily - there have been several highly distinguished films made by unabashedly Christian filmmakers like Andrei Tarkovsky or Carl Theodor Dreyer. But I doubt they would ever have been funded by a US Christian organisation - they're far too intelligent, subtle and complex to play especially well with the likes of Kent Hovind and Pastor Tom supporters.
Back in 1995, I was very pleasantly surprised by the Vatican Best Films List list - I naturally expected it to be wall-to-wall bland religious dreck, but it was actually compiled by someone who genuinely knew what he was doing, and the mere fact that there's a Luis Buñuel film in there shows that the compiler wasn't scared of being associated with one of the 20th century's more aggressively anticlerical atheists.
Posted by: Urmensch
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August 16, 2009 5:39 AM
@#132
As if to prove that a Ph.D doesn't necessarily mean that much.
James DeMeo, Ph.D.
Director, Orgone Biophysical Research Lab.
"Dr. James DeMeo did his undergraduate work in Environmental Science and holds a Ph.D. in Geography from the University of Kansas. His research in subjects ranging from early childhood development to UFO's is deeply rooted in his extensive knowledge and understanding of the life, work and discoveries of the late Dr. Wilhelm Reich"
Posted by: XD | August 16, 2009 6:38 AM
So, two great films coming out. Legion looks like a pretty awesome action movie. Creation looks like it will be a pretty awesome comedy.
Posted by: Rick R | August 16, 2009 6:46 AM
Totally OT, but I notice in the Legion" trailer, the actor who plays Gabriel (Keamy from "Lost") strikes a particularly stern pose as he unfurls his angel wings. I saw Ben Foster in "X-Men 3" strike the exact same pose as he exposes his fluffy whites.
It's funny watching actors trying to make feathers look butch.
Posted by: Major Transition | August 16, 2009 6:52 AM
Wow. There goes the last shred of credibility that Kevin Miller might have had.
Posted by: nick bobick | August 16, 2009 7:29 AM
@54 "I should of BSed it..."
Well, this kind of piss poor usage (sorry, it really irks me that so many people write this abomination) is probably one reason your piece was in editing for weeks.
Posted by: philos | August 16, 2009 7:34 AM
XD - funny!
Posted by: Felix | August 16, 2009 8:09 AM
Kent Hovind - full of fail, please delete.
Posted by: Thorne | August 16, 2009 8:52 AM
@ SuperCorgi #48: "Somehow I don't think the nice Christian families are going to take their kiddies to see this one. Too much nasty, nasty violence."
Nah, that's not really violence. After all, it's only those nasty sinners getting whacked and hacked.
But they'd damn well better not show a female (gasp!) nipple! Wouldn't want their precious kiddies to actually see a part of the female body. You know, that body that's made in God's image? The one they are all ashamed of? Now THAT would be NASTY!
Posted by: Christophe Thill | August 16, 2009 9:10 AM
Who needs the biography of Kent Hovind, when we already have the animated musical version?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sEIiWKSzJA
Posted by: Christophe Thill | August 16, 2009 9:16 AM
Strange thing: when you click on the link, a press release appears... but it's about another film. Did they just change their mind about making this one???
Posted by: Ray S. | August 16, 2009 9:26 AM
The link to the pres release is about the movie on bullying. At the bottom of the text they mention that the bullying movie is their second project. The first being the film on the story of Hovind.
I'm betting the Hovind project is dead in the water.
Posted by: daveau | August 16, 2009 9:32 AM
Reginald Selkirk @16-
Nice. The Archangel Michael drives an ice cream truck? As an aside, I always wondered why "Turkey in the Straw" is ubiquitous among ice cream trucks...
Maybe I can get a PhD, like "Dr" Hovind, and pretend to be smarter than PZ, et al.
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | August 16, 2009 9:47 AM
This could redefine the term "cult classic"
Posted by: Meyrick Kirby | August 16, 2009 10:18 AM
What's a "split-level diploma mill"? I know what is a split-level house, and a diploma mill, but "split-level diploma mill"?!
Posted by: n | August 16, 2009 10:40 AM
No. Way.
I suspect this one will be going straight to VHS.
I especially loved when Hovind listed, as one of his qualifications, that his dad was an engineer at Caterpillar. This was either on The Infidel Guy show or in one of his "lectures" I think.
The tax conviction will actually helps his story. It reinforces the whole "tortured hero" thing he's got going on. Tryin' to expose the evil darwinists but they are so evil they send the Man ofter him.
Isn't Hovind getting out of jail soon? (fingers crossed that Hovind plays himself)
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
August 16, 2009 10:43 AM
In this particular instance, there is no difference between a split-level house and a diploma mill, since the latter is found in the former.
Posted by: Citizen Z | August 16, 2009 11:05 AM
I have some questions for Kevin Miller. Are you going to include the fact that Hovind is against democracy? Also, are you going to include his argument that Tyrannosaurus Rexes could breathe fire? Or will that last bit blow the special effects budget?
Posted by: Darren Garrison | August 16, 2009 11:29 AM
From the trailer for Creation: "What do you know of Cayman Islands tax shelters, creature?"
Posted by: n | August 16, 2009 12:01 PM
Delicious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnb_pmRDpqU
Posted by: Not a Mouse | August 16, 2009 12:05 PM
From the link in #133 - some of the effects of films that aren't centered around the wonderfulness of Christianity:
Our children come to believe evolution is a scientific fact
# Since evolution teaches that life is worthless, our children become violent
Governments
o Become corrupt
o Lack servant leaders
o Oppress and impoverish the populace
(Because that never happened in medieval times in places where Christianity ruled and Hollywood wasn't around to mess everything up.)
And, best of all:
Gives false understanding of
* History
Posted by: Lynna | August 16, 2009 12:24 PM
What in god's hot hell is this? You can get tax-exempt status thanks to the *subject* of your films! Please. They're not even educational. They're anti-education.
Do we not have any tax lawyers among us who could correct this travesty, or at least bring it to the attention of the IRS properly? Maybe Peter Irons knows someone?
Posted by: Lynna | August 16, 2009 12:28 PM
I did the same thing, triple-take on the name. We should insert "no relation to Ken Miller" -- or if I were Ken Miller, I demand a clarification. "I am in no way associated with this debacle."
Posted by: Carlie | August 16, 2009 12:37 PM
I went looking for a picture of Patriot University to show Meyrick, and found this hilarious page by Patriot University. See, the picture everyone shows is the director's house, but they have a whole other building now right next to it that is almost as big as the house! So they're totally legit and stuff!
Posted by: Ryan | August 16, 2009 12:50 PM
That's seriously in his dissertation? Back when I was in the 3rd grade I was scolded by the teacher for doing that in an essay I had write. I was told "never do that again." and I never did.
Posted by: A. Noyd
|
August 16, 2009 1:27 PM
@n (#160)
"professional field of salmon" (5:15) = ROFL
And then the delightful idiocy at the end of Hovind trying to convince an Irish guy that Muslims are inferior because they're terrorists. My, how quick he was to get out the No True Scotsman there.
Posted by: not a gator | August 16, 2009 1:33 PM
hilarious yet touching tale of the Josef Stalin's selfless efforts to bring about a Workers' Paradise
Quick! Convert Coolio to Marxism. I sense a song coming on!
As I walk through my factory and assess my domain,
My tiny tyrant's heart is shot through with pain--
All these workers break their backs for the fear of me:
I have added to the sum of human misery.
Okay, I'll stop.
Posted by: Lynna | August 16, 2009 2:03 PM
God knows what hes doin; He wrote this book here, an the book says:
He made us all to be just like him, So... If were dumb...
Then God is dumb... (an maybe even a little ugly on the side)
"All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."
Fran Lebowitz
Posted by: n | August 16, 2009 2:41 PM
The stupid, it burns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw80oduQckM
Posted by: Björn Lindström | August 16, 2009 6:35 PM
Presumably Dr. Hovind has heard that academic papers are written in a pretty formal style, which is why he didn't start his with "Hi".
Posted by: melior
|
August 16, 2009 6:43 PM
# Since evolution teaches that life is worthless,
Wait, didn't we learn last week that since "evolution" isn't a person, it can't "teach" anything?
Posted by: Sara | August 16, 2009 9:52 PM
SOMEONE should make a google bomb linking "Ken Hovind" with the website about his "dissertation".
That would be fun.
Posted by: MrMarkAZ | August 17, 2009 9:08 AM
Tears of a clown, perhaps.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 17, 2009 9:14 AM
Understand that what you (and probably the rest of the legitimate academic community) identify as a dissertation and what Kent Hovind and his Diploma Mill identify as a dissertation are in different universes.
Posted by: Kim C | August 17, 2009 11:52 AM
Boy this is going to be confusing for everyone! The release date for the other CREATION movie is Sept 25th. This CREATION movie is John Collee’s screen adaption of Annie’s Box by Randal Keynes OBE, a British conservationist, author and great-great-grandson of Charles Darwin. Here is the web site http://creationthemovie.com/flash/#/ Interesting! I wonder what creationists will think when they mistakenly walk into this movie!
Posted by: Joe G | August 17, 2009 2:42 PM
Kent Hovind was a high school biology teacher?
Now THAT is funny...
But anyways is this must be a spoof.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 18, 2009 9:39 AM
PZ Myers, propaganda truth-stretching?? I sure bet you know alot about that, being affilated with the corrupt UOM Eugenics. I see you are serving your god you call your father "big bang" very well. Funny how your evolution needs goverment funding to survive. I see big bang has provided all your needs to spread your antichrist message of "there is no God, so do what I feel like".
If I were to take "big bangs" name in vain, would you consider that blasphemy and be angry?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 18, 2009 9:46 AM
Yes. Kent Hovind is a felon, a tac cheat and lies... to children. And movie that doesn't highlight these characteristics will be nothing but truth-stretching (till it breaks) propaganda.
Comes from years of dealing with the likes of Hovind.
Oh really? Where is that?
You're just making shit up now. There is no God, christian or otherwise. Stop projecting.
Tell me one major science that doesn't get gov't funding genius.
Haven't seen that message spread here. Care to point to it?
nope. go for it.
Posted by: E.V. | August 18, 2009 10:02 AM
Oh, hey - Jeebus's Menial Worker is back. Still dumb as a rock I see.
Ready to start spewing your pious idiocy? OK... GO!
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 18, 2009 10:02 AM
While he may be a Tac cheat he's definitely a TAX cheat.
Posted by: Rey Fox | August 18, 2009 10:05 AM
Isn't there any angel puke he could be cleaning up?
Posted by: heliobates | August 18, 2009 10:10 AM
@Heaven's Sanitation Engineer
Mmmm mescaline.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 21, 2009 11:16 PM
Okay Chimpman, are you related to Obama seeing as he obviously evolved from a chimp, with those nasty ears of his?
Taking big bang's name is vain is revealing its real name of Satan.
Charles Fremont Dight wrote a letter to Hitler telling him how much he loved him. Eugenics went underground and they became Pyscologists, evolutionary biologists ,Medical Drs , social workers, planned parenthood ect.
http://www.mnhs.org/library/tips/history_topics/images/117aimage.jpg
Churchers are not suppose to be paying taxes so Hovind is an innocent man. Hovind did not steal the money and by mansions for himself like the TV preachers do. Hovind was trying to preach agianst evil men like PZ Myers. The devil did not like this so he used rich evil men and woman to lock Hovind away to shut him up.
One of the evil child molesting prosecutors of Hovind killed himself to avoid going to jail. So you see the people who went after him were wicked and wanted to stop him from telling the world Jesus is.
Then phoney christians did not come to Hovinds aid. TBN, Inspriation network, CBN, American center for law and justice, International Fellowship of Christians and Jews, President Bush all turned theirs backs on Hovind because none of those people love Jesus.
Quote
"Tell me one major science that doesn't get gov't funding genius"
The Goverment does not research the bible to see how much truth it has. Like Pharaoh's golden chairot wheels in the Red Sea or the springs of the sea that Jesus spoke to Job about. Or future and present events that are taking place right now, that the bible says would happen.
The Goverment does not do research to see if obedience to God brings blessings for a nation.
Posted by: John Morales | August 21, 2009 11:23 PM
HJ:
How quickly you forget GW Bush's presidency!
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
August 21, 2009 11:24 PM
Liar, the tax code says otherwise. Or Hovind wouldn't be in jail, where he belongs. If you lie about that, what else will you lie about? You see, that is the problem of telling lies. After a while, everything you say is, or is considered, a lie.Another lie (when will they ever stop?), your deity is imaginary and only exists between your delusional ears.There is no truth to the babble. It was put together by various committees after years of converting and modifying oral tradition to writing. Very little was written as it happened. Not a good start for an allegedly non-fiction book. Makes rational people think it is all fiction.Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
August 21, 2009 11:33 PM
Let's see if Janitor to the Gods can stick around for more than an hour this time.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 22, 2009 1:13 AM
'Tis Himself
I am not this other person you once spoke with.
Ugly Red head nerd person theres no sence talking to a devil worshiper like you. Go worship sex, money or whatever you feel like doing and let big bang defend your sin when Jesus Returns.
John Morales
Bush isn't a christian, he loves money obeys his father and skull and bones club over Jesus.
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 22, 2009 1:22 AM
Ugly Red head nerd person theres no sence talking to a devil worshiper like you.
yoikes, with that level of intelligence, a janitor is all you'll ever be.
meh, not that there's anything wrong with that, in and of itself, but don't expect you're going to be making proclamations at the next meeting of the Royal Society or AAAS.
...and don't expect us not to laugh at you.
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 22, 2009 1:28 AM
The Goverment does not research the bible to see how much truth it has.
Oh?
http://www.philrs.iastate.edu/avalos.shtml
his research was publicly funded.
He's just one of thousands who in fact are paid by the government (State or Fed - if you include grants) to do just that: research the historical accuracy and anthropology associated with that collection of texts.
*psst*, guess what?
He's an ATHEIST.
*dum dum DUMMMMMMMM*
*evil laughter*
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 22, 2009 1:32 AM
The stupid, it burns.
sorry, but you don't need to link outside this thread to be burned by the stupid...
*looks over at Janitor while shading eyes*
Posted by: Janine, OMnivore | August 22, 2009 1:38 AM
Someone has been finger painting with their own shit.
Posted by: HeavensJanitor | August 22, 2009 5:48 AM
Ichthyic |
The man is not a christian therefore his studys are worthless. Cause hes not going to acknowledge Jesus. He will ignore everthing God does. Lets see the Goverment fund a real christian and see how things turn out. But that will never happen. Real christians are ignored and called crazy.
http://www.philrs.iastate.edu/avalos.shtml
Burned by what? You haven't proven anything to me that Jesus is not real. Bring me video footage of Big bang from 65,000,000 years ago. And show me gorillawits half man half ape.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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August 22, 2009 5:56 AM
That's easy to do, since a fictitious character, by definition, doesn't do anything. A fictitious character is incapable of doing anything because it doesn't exist. Non-existence means not interacting with the real world.
So, Janitor to the Gods, show us what your god has ever done.
Posted by: Dania
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August 22, 2009 6:06 AM
Wait... what? 65 million years ago? The Big Bang? Really?
Posted by: Coryat | August 22, 2009 6:08 AM
Also 'Devon's Janitory' , I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but you are clearly 'Christ's own toilet cleaner' or whoever the last guy was. Unless you people can now reproduce asexually. That would herald a dark time for we, the 'hoomans', who your kind so clearly hate and fear.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 22, 2009 7:17 AM
Janitor, it is not our job to disprove jebus, it is your job to prove jebus. Starting with texts written at least 40 years after the alleged crucifixion. And mentioning Jebus growing up in a town that didn't exist at the time he alleged grew up, but did when the texts were written. And that is just the start. As Desi said to Lucy, "you have a lot of 'splainin' to do".
Posted by: Kel, OM | August 22, 2009 7:30 AM
So basically, instead of asking for reasonable evidence you bring an absolute absurdity? Okay, two can play at that game. Show me with video evidence of:God creating the universe as specified in Genesis.
God creating man from clay and woman from rib
24 surveillance of Mary from between 10 months to 7 months before Jesus was born
Jesus performing any miracle
Jesus rising from the dead
Failure to show any will mean that you're position is absolutely vacuous and you believe a lie...
...or we could stop talking in absurdities and have a reasonable discussion about the kinds of evidence that would support any given hypothesis as opposed to looking to 20th century technology being used to record events pre-20th century.
Though as luck would have it, we do have video evidence for the big bang. It's all around us, every time we point a microwave dish to measure the sky, we are videoing the early universe in the form of cosmic background radiation. If you don't understand what the significance of cosmic background radiation is to Big Bang theory then I suggest that you actually go read up on the subject before throwing around your personal ignorance as if it were evidence for your particular religion. I don't care what you believe, if you don't understand the topic at hand even in the most basic sense then you have no business discussing it.
Posted by: Dania
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August 22, 2009 7:35 AM
Makes just as much sense.
Posted by: Josh
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August 22, 2009 7:49 AM
Bring me video footage that the Earth orbits the Sun. But I want the evidence to be clear; I want it to be shot from a vantage point that is several dozen astronomical units "above" the Earth/Sun system. I want an entire year of footage. I will, however, also accept 365 still photographs, one taken every day* of that year.
If you cannot produce this footage for me, how can I be certain that the Earth actually orbits the Sun?
*as measured on Earth (coordinate this as you see fit...)
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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August 22, 2009 8:00 AM
BTW, Janitor to the Gods, why did you pull 65 million years out of your ass?
Posted by: Dania
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August 22, 2009 8:08 AM
To be fair, there was what you could call a "big bang" about 65 million years ago. But I don't think that's what he was talking about there.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 22, 2009 8:08 AM
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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August 22, 2009 8:27 AM
I had forgotten about the Cretaceous-Tertiary meteorite strike 65 million years ago. I don't think that anyone or anything in visual range of the impact survived the incident.
However: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AVJEB_hmCI
Posted by: Kel, OM | August 22, 2009 8:56 AM
That was hilarious!
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | August 22, 2009 9:49 AM
I suspect Heaven's Jizz-mopper has been huffing a little too much of the Holy Bowl Cleaner.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 24, 2009 1:28 AM
You say you have proven big bang it true because of microwaves and radiation. Do voices in these waves and radiation tell you big bang is real? How do I hear the voice of big bang as you have? Will big bang ever speak to me as he did you?
Why is there no records from 65,000,000 years ago saying big bang made everything out of nothing? So bible gives written documentation and your big bang is just "some guy" saying big bang is my faaaaaaaaaather?
So will you be pleased if the US Dollar starts saying in big bang we trust on it?
Exactly how old is this big bang God of yours? Since your Satanic money loving scientists you worship keep changing the date of Big Bangs birth. By the way when is the second coming of big bang?
Jesus never said in the bible I have to prove anything to you. All I have to do is love Jesus and my neighbor and my job is done. To bad your big bang does not teach atheists to love their neighbors as themselves.
Tell me this since you beleive we evolved from a rock. If someone were to smash a stone with a sledgehammer, would you consider that murder?
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | August 24, 2009 1:40 AM
Heaven's Jizz-mopper returns to confirm that he has indeed been huffing a little too much of the Holy Bowl Cleaner.
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | August 24, 2009 1:53 AM
"microwaves and radiation", lol! Best Dunning-Kruger EVAH!
Posted by: Satan | August 24, 2009 2:02 AM
I assure you, there are no golden chariot wheels belonging to Pharaoh in the Red Sea.
Jesus did not speak to Job. You can't even get the Bible right...
Posted by: Janine, OMnivore | August 24, 2009 2:19 AM
Tell me this since you beleive we evolved from a rock. If someone were to smash a stone with a sledgehammer, would you consider that murder?
Poor deluded little dumb fuck. No one worships the Big Bang. It did not happen 65,000,000 years ago, an other rather significant event occurred. We did not evolve from rocks, our earliest ancestors emerged from replicating chemicals. But the rock that the dumb fuck is focused on is his brain. If one were to take a sledgehammer to his brain, the results would be a pile of pebbles and no change to his reasoning abilities.
Posted by: strange gods before me | August 24, 2009 2:55 AM
Said the guy who believes humans were made from dust.
Posted by: Kel, OM | August 24, 2009 4:06 AM
Do you see the computer screen in front of you? Good. There's electromagnetic radiation coming from the screen, particles acting as waves (or waves acting as particles if it's tuesday) show us what is in front of us. Likewise we see electromagnetic radiation from near the beginning of time and that shows us something too. Needing a voice to tell you about the event means that you don't have the understanding to explore beyond what others tell you, and that's really sad. Because 65,000,000 years ago, all records were wiped out when a giant meteor hit the earth. It also happen to kill all non-avian dinosaurs, but luckily for us our shrew-like ancestors survived. The Big Bang happened 13.7 years ago, and it was not made from nothing, it was an expansion of a quantum singularity into the four-dimensional bubble universe we reside in now. Not at all, it's a pretty silly thing to say on it. Why not say "In gravity we trust" or "In germ theory we trust"? Both are as equally stupid. It's not any age, it's like asking how old is your conception? It's an event, not an agent. That's fine, I'll look elsewhere for answers. You can love Jesus all you want, but if you don't prove yourself to me then I'll remain a lost soul in your eyes. I'd be surprised if it did, the big bang is a descriptor of the initial expansion of space-time, it has nothing to do with prescriptive morality. Are you saying that you wouldn't love your neighbour unless God tells you to? That's pretty messed up. Yes, but if we didn't murder the rocks you'd know they would do it to us... ;)Evolved from a rock? Surely you should actually understand what evolution says before talking about it. No rocks in my ancestry, or anyone else's for that matter. Learn the difference between organic material and inorganic material, and between replicating and non-replicating. And while you are at it, the difference between sapient, sentient and non-sentient life.
Posted by: Dania
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August 24, 2009 6:50 AM
No, actually we don't. What we say is that the Big Bang is the best explanation for the origin of this Universe given the available data. That's it.
What is this even supposed to mean? Are you incapable of looking at the evidence to reach your own conclusions? Do you need to be told everything?
The Big Bang didn't happen 65,000,000 ago. Where did you get that idea from? 13,7 billion years is the number you're looking for. Now, what kind of records would you expect to exist from 13,7 billion years ago?
What the hell are you talking about here? Do you even know what you're arguing against? What you wrote makes absolutely no sense.
Except that we don't. Really, we don't. I don't even know where you got that idea from. It must have been from the place you got the idea that the Big Bang happened 65 million years ago...
Posted by: Josh
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August 24, 2009 7:04 AM
You can read about a lot of things in the Bible. Guess what? There's no evidence that most of them ever happened.*
How's that video footage of the Earth/Sun system coming?
*cough* flood *cough* perfect example *cough*
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 24, 2009 7:47 AM
The Janitor seems to have some problems. Starting with not being able to show evidence for his imaginary dog, or that his alleged holy book isn't fiction. I won't even get started on his ideas of time, or how the dino's getting whacked by a comet/meteor becomes the big bang. Hilarious. Godbots are so funny.
Posted by: Forbidden Snowflake | August 24, 2009 7:52 AM
Don't you just love it when theists attempt to discredit science by presenting it as a religion? It's as if they admit that religion is unreliable pretend-playing, all the while not realizing it's their own borscht they're pissing in.
BTW, does "Theist rambling in a fantastic 65,000,000 year old landscape among exploding irony-meters" sound like something Dali would paint?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 24, 2009 7:59 AM
Is there any chance you might ever try and educate yourself?
This is perhaps one of the dumbest things ever written on the internet.
I know it's hard to not project your need for a higher authority figure but I don't need a voice in my head saying, "Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe in, Breathe out"
Still projecting.
Make sure you don't stop listening to the breathing instructions.
I don't need someone to tell me to love my neighbor.
Wow
Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe in, Breathe out
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 24, 2009 1:29 PM
Rev. BigDumbChimp
No you do not love your neighbor. Cause you want to drag your neighbor to hell with you. If you had love in your heart you would see Kent Hovind is an innocent man. Because you love Satan you will reject all the proof God has given to you he is Lord.
You like watching people starve to death because evolution is a precursor to eugenics. Eugenics followers pick and chooses who they will help and who they will perscute and kill off. Watning people to suffer and die is love in your eyes?
Jesus did speak to Job. Because you don't love Jesus you don't listen to the bible. Jesus told Job "behomoth is the cheif of the ways of God", if God the father was speaking he would have said "he is the cheif of all my ways".
Jesus spoke to Jonah, as Jesus is the word of God and the bible says the word of God spoke to Jonah. Jesus spoke to Moses from the buring bush. The burning bush said "I am that I am", Jesus said "before Abraham was I am"
Pharaoh's golden Chariot wheels rest at the bottom of the red sea. I saw the video footage with my own eyes of the Golden wheels sitting under the water. The Coral reef will not grow on Gold so the wheels can be seen. The Egyptian Goverment however will not allow anything to be remove from the sea floor.
You are a wicked generation and God will never meet your demands. All you will receive is the sign of Jonah, all Ninavah got before they repented was words of Jonah. So God will only give you men to speak on his behalf.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 24, 2009 1:36 PM
Gee, Janitor can't get his mind out of godbot gutter, where imaginary deities bedevil people to lose intelligence, and he still thinks his fictional babble is a reference work. You are funny Janitor, and I will laugh at you with a hearty belly laugh. Bwahahahahahaha. Keep it up. I need more laughs in my life.
Posted by: Josh | August 24, 2009 1:39 PM
But he is not innocent. Why should Rev see Kent Hovind as innocent? Kent lies to people routinely. He is not innocent. If Jesus at all resembled the picture that legend paints of him, and if he were here today, I suspect he'd be very disappointed in Kent Hovind.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 24, 2009 1:43 PM
You do believe you came from a rock. You believe it rained on the "rocks" for millions of years. Then the rain drained into the oceans and become soup. And that soup washed ashore and became gorillawits and gorillawits brought forth gorillawits half man half ape. Your ape forefathers then gave birth to you and now you worship them as Sovern Gods.
God speaking about evolutionists in the bible.
Jeremiah 2:27
Saying to a stock, Thou art my father; and to a stone, Thou hast brought me forth: for they have turned their back unto me, and not their face: but in the time of their trouble they will say, Arise, and save us.
See God knew you guys before you were born were going to whorship rocks.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 24, 2009 1:50 PM
Josh
What is hovind guilty of? Churches don't have top pay taxes I read the law and saw what it says. Why did Tom Daschle not go to Jail, he didn't pay his taxes and he does not have tax exempt satus like Hovind. Because he is an evil member of the good old boys club. But Hovind was blackballed because your friends who say we came from apes didn't like the message he was givening.
Why do you always vaguely say Hovind is a liar without saying what he lied about?
Posted by: Dania
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August 24, 2009 1:54 PM
We don't believe in Satan. He doesn't exist. It would be ridiculous to love someone that doesn't exist, don't you think?
And where's that "proof" you're talking about?
WTF? You have no idea what you're talking about.
Posted by: Patricia, OM | August 24, 2009 1:58 PM
Dammit! Why wasn't this information given to the Chimp scholars before now?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 24, 2009 2:00 PM
Janitor still doesn't get it. Hovind evaded taxes. Churches don't have to pay taxes, but the people they pay (employees) better be filing their income taxes. Hovind failed to do that, and tried to hide it in a very inept way. He was found guilty.
And Janitor still thinks the babble is anything other than fiction for us. Isn't such ignorance cute. Bwahahahahahaaha. Another good bellylaugh at the Janitor.
Posted by: Patricia, OM | August 24, 2009 2:07 PM
Wow, this guy is the best kook we've had in months.
You are so outed now BigDumbChimp.
Posted by: E.V. | August 24, 2009 2:13 PM
Posted by: Patricia, OM | August 24, 2009 2:13 PM
The woo must be with me today, my wrong address comment got posted after it got the switcheroo.
Oh, maybe Satan loves me.
Posted by: Josh | August 24, 2009 3:46 PM
Where else, except in #220 above, have I accused Kent Hovind of lying? Perhaps I have (it sounds like something I might do), but I don't recall it specifically. Where was it? An accusation of me "always" doing it so a strong charge. Can you back that up?
As to Hovind's lies, I offer this as a rather nice example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKQu16wRMqk&feature=related
Just looking at the first few minutes of it, Kent lies at 1:44, he lies beginning at 2:36, he lies beginning at 3:15, and he lies beginning at 3:50.
I could go, but that's a start, one single video*.
*You might say that he isn't lying; rather he is just looking at the same evidence we are and interpreting it differently. To assert that is a falsehood in itself. Kent doesn't interpret our evidence differently--he ignores it altogether. He insists that there is no evidence. That, my friend, is lying. He's not a child. He isn't ignorant of the fields of science that he fears so much. You cannot both assert that radiometric age dating is wrong and claim ignorance of the methodology. If you're ignorant of the methodology, then sit down and shut up about things you don't know anything about. You don't get to have it both ways, and in neither case is he innocent.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 25, 2009 12:19 AM
Josh
There is no evidence this god named big bang ever created anything. I would like to see a written record of one man who saw big bang happen. Or at least on man that has met gorillawits half man half ape. Big bang was made up by some Catholic screwball last I heard.
When I was talking about lying about Hovind I was reffering to all you people that hate him. All you can ever give is something vague
Missionarys are tax exempt as well. So this tax fraud by Hovind so called "employees" is BS as they were Missionarys.
You guys don't go after Tom Dashle's tax fraud cause he worships the devil like you do. So you have love your good Godless buddy.
Heres a question to you all, what is evolution and how did life begin and how old is this big bang? You guys keep changing your storys all the time. One day its 50 Million then its 60 million. One day you say you came from ape then another soup that washed up on the beach. Then you put a man and apes bones together and call it the missing link.
Posted by: strange gods before me | August 25, 2009 12:32 AM
Poe.
Posted by: Kel, OM | August 25, 2009 12:49 AM
Yep, poe.
Posted by: Janine, OMnivore | August 25, 2009 12:54 AM
There is no evidence this god named big bang ever created anything.
No one claims that the beginning of the universe is a deity.
I would like to see a written record of one man who saw big bang happen.
Oh! I can play this game also. I would like to see a written record of one human who saw the beginning of your god.
Or at least on man that has met gorillawits half man half ape.
Guess what! I will claim that your great great great grandparents never existed because no one you know ever meet them.
Big bang was made up by some Catholic screwball last I heard.
So, what is your definition of a true christian? Also, he did not make it up, he followed the evidence that he had.
When I was talking about lying about Hovind I was reffering to all you people that hate him. All you can ever give is something vague
Just because you refuse to understand any sort of science does not mean that people's responses were vague. Josh gave very specific reasons.
Missionarys are tax exempt as well. So this tax fraud by Hovind so called "employees" is BS as they were Missionarys.
So, a faux museum was a missionary? People had to pay to get the message of love and get saved? Your logic is not like our Earth logic.
You guys don't go after Tom Dashle's tax fraud cause he worships the devil like you do.
Non sequitur. This has nothing to do with anything. Also, how can atheists be worshiping a deity. And satan is a deity. And do you have proof that Dashle is a satanist?
So you have love your good Godless buddy.
In order to believe in the devil, one also has to believe in god.
Heres a question to you all, what is evolution and how did life begin and how old is this big bang?
As people keep pointing out, those are two different things. But your confusion about this is shown in your incoherent rant.
You guys keep changing your storys all the time.
This is because we do not have the whole story about everything. We are learning all of the time and out conclusions change in order to fit the new knowledge. Only those who have stopped learning remains unchanging. And you have stopped learning long ago.
One day its 50 Million then its 60 million.
What is this in relation to?
One day you say you came from ape then another soup that washed up on the beach.
Um? What? Incoherence here.
Then you put a man and apes bones together and call it the missing link.
I think that in your brain dead way, you are trying to reference the Piltdown Hoax. Sorry, this is one of many cases of using the methodology of science to correct mistakes and detect lies.
Please pick an other name, you bring shame to a honorable and necessary profession.
Posted by: Dania
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August 25, 2009 10:57 AM
Oh, please. Nobody can be that stupid. Definitely a Poe.
Posted by: Janine, OMnivore | August 25, 2009 11:01 AM
Dania, some people are that stupid.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 25, 2009 11:07 AM
If Janitor is a Poe, it stopped being funny days ago. Comedy has a three joke rule. Poes would do well to heed that too.
Posted by: Dania
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August 25, 2009 11:14 AM
The sad thing is you're probably right about that.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 25, 2009 5:07 PM
You refused to explain evolution to me, because you are afrain to admit you think you came from the rocks that were rained on for millions of years. I asked you a simple question about evolution and you would not anwser it, because your big bang is a lie from hell.
See you guys hate God and you love to sin. So you will lie and say there is no God because the thought of God creating you and making rules for you to live by offends you.
You like stealing, adultery, idolatry, abortion, watching people suffer and you don't want to give it up. Then you hide behind the lie that you are "good people". Not one of you is good.
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus | August 25, 2009 5:17 PM
Dear Heavens Janitor,
Jesus is very cross with you! He sent me to this blog to witness to the atheists, and just as I come close to converting some of them, you have to come here saying nasty things. How Christian is that? Haven't you heard of showing love and turning the other cheek? Is your faith so weak that the words of a few atheists upset you? And who are you to talk of sin? Haven't you heard about taking the beam out of your own eye first? God knows what you've been thinking in your evil depraved way!!
What you don't realize that as long as atheists don't believe in God, they can't hate Him and they can't be sinners! Once we get them believing, then we can place a burden for Christ on their hearts and turn them to Jesus. Your sweeping generalizations prove nothing except that you are a poor Christian who doesn't know how to witness properly.
In the Blessed Name of Jesus I command the demon of Childish Tantrums to leave you! BE GONE IN JESUS NAME!
Your unhappy brother in Christ
Smoggy
PS You'd better come back here and apologize humbly for being a stupid prat! Next time God is going to smite your ass till it bleeds if you dare to step in the way of His Divine Plan!!!
Posted by: Josh
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August 25, 2009 5:18 PM
*yawn*
On the off chance that you're not a poe, or if someone ever sees this conversation who isn't sure:
Evidence. You keep using that word. I don't think it means whatever the hell you seem to think it means.
Have you seen the Earth orbit the Sun?
What would you think a half man half ape would look like?
???
Yeah, those four examples I gave you in #220, from the same video, were really pretty vague.
You're right. Oh wait...no you're not.
I know...it's just so annoying that we keep learning new things about the universe. Wow...that really is something that we should be ashamed of.
Posted by: Josh
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August 25, 2009 5:23 PM
Yeah, I like watching people suffer. So much so that the dreams are probably never ever going to go away.
You're just batting a thousand today, poeboy.
Posted by: Dania
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August 25, 2009 5:40 PM
*sigh*
No. I didn't explain evolution to you because you don't even understand that the Big Bang, abiogenesis and the Theory of Evolution are three very different things. And because I'm having a hard time believing that you're not a poe.
I don't hate things that I don't believe in.
Right. We lie. Hovind doesn't. He just Lies for Jesus, which I'm sure is a completely different thing.
So, the only reason that keeps you from doing all that is fear of hell? You don't even know what empathy is, do you?
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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August 25, 2009 6:03 PM
Janitor to the Gods #238
We can't answer your question because the big bang and evolution are two different things. It's like asking "how does your refrigerator help you do your taxes?"
We don't hate god anymore than we hate Sauron or Lord Valdemort. It's impossible to hate a fictitious character,
The only thing that offends us is when goddists like you want to make the rest of us accept a particularly narrow, irrational interpretation of one particular religion. You and your hero, convicted felon Kent Hovind, want the rest of us to substitute superstition for reality, myth for science, and absurdity for reason. You can be as unthinking as you want, but don't try to force the rest of us to be delirious too.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 26, 2009 5:42 PM
Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus
Obviously you didn't listen to the bible when Elijah smart mouthed the prophets of baal or when Jesus called the Parahsees viper's. I am suppose to take the toothpick out of my eye, when you have a giant redwood so big in yours it goes down through your mouth out your rear end. And what kind of christianity did you infulence these people with? Thats its okay to lie about an innocent man like Kent Hovind being locked away? That they have to beleive they are Gods like Benny Hinn says and his devil worshipering friends called evangalists on TV? Do you believe in total body healins for $49.95 and pushing people over like they are having convulsions? How about screwballs who pick up poisinous snakes and say it is God's will?
To Athiests
Regardless of what you call me, I love Jesus and will obey his law. And if you want to follow big bang into hell then you are evangelical fundmentlist athiests or "EFA". Bt once again you did not tell me what big bang is and how old he is. You obviously did not disagree with my saying that you don't love your neighbor as yourself. My God tells me to love him and hate evil and your god tells you to hate love and love sin. Killing little babys is love in your eyes and looking out for only yourself is love too. Telling people there is no God and wanting them to go to hell is good to you. You hate God and want everyone to suffer but yourselves. Because "you do what you feel like".
Why could your messiah Barrack Obama not save Ted Kennedy from the grave? I thought Obama said he would bring change, why has this change not conquored death? Why did Barrack not open up the Cosmos and ask big bang to revive Ted Kennedy? Could big bang not give a little bang and bring back Ted?
Why did big bang create suffering? Why did big bang create death? Why does he let people starve to death? Why did big bang flood New Orleans and say it was George Bushs fault? How do I hear voice of big bang like you people have. Why does big bang say he is your creator, but not a god?
Where are the answers to these questions that a loving big bang would answer? Where is the love of the big bang?
Why did gorillawits not leave a message for me of this big bang? Why did he not pass it down so I could have his knowledge when he spoke to big bang?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 26, 2009 5:47 PM
Yawn Janitor, where is your physical evidence for you imaginary deity, so we conclude you aren't a delusional fool? Godbots, you present no evidence, but wonder why we don't believe you? Keep reading your fictional babble, and keep praying to your imaginary god. Just do it all elsewhere. You are a fool to post here.
Posted by: Ben in Texas | August 26, 2009 5:58 PM
When someone like Heavens Janitor posts here, it makes me remember how truly lucky we are in the U.S. to have the wall of separation guaranteed by the First Amendment. Imagine what the country would be like if raving nutbags like HJ had their way.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 26, 2009 8:51 PM
Ben in Texas
If I were in charge abortion would be outlawed except to save the life of the mother if the pregnancy will kill her.
Then the Catholic Church would be banned and Bohemian Grove would be shut down. The federal reserve would be closed down and foreighn debt would be forced to be payed off by the billionare bankers of the federal reserve. Witchcraft and open Satanic devil worshiped would be banned. Nazi white supremisist groups would be disbaned for treason along with the nation of Islam who are plotting to hurt American citzens. Eugenics movements would be shut down along with planned parenthood.
Politians who take bribes or money from foreigh nations would be arrested for treason. American politians should only be able to campain with their own and US citizen donated funds.
Food and shelter programs would be expanded to feed the poor and homless who can not find work. Steroids would be banned so the pro sports teams players would start to look like highschool sized athletes.
Adultery would be a crime and the strip clubs would be shut down. Pyscatry would be shut down until proper cures can be found to fix patients and that are blead dry on usless and harmful treatments. The border with Mexico would be sealed. Trade with any country would be eaqual so China free trade would be out the door. Prisoners would be given the option to work and have their own shower and cell and prisons would be self suffient.
Big bang would be out of schools and the states would have their rights returned to educate children. FBI , NSA CIA would be disbanded and the Miltary would protect are borders.
Drs would be forced to charge rasonable rates for their services. Not $20 for a bandaid and $2000 for a CT scan anymore. Colledges would have to lower admission and actualy give proper job training or be shut down.
Any nation that wanted to be allies would have to recoginize human rights and freedom of religion. Citzens of Nations with genocide ocurring, could come to US freedoms camps until they could possibly be educated and learn English so they could become American citizens or go back home when it becomes safe to live free in their home country.
Yes these are all terrible things aren't they?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 26, 2009 9:02 PM
Still no evidence for your imaginary deity Janitor. What a waste of a post. Until you can show evidence, you are just a delusional fool. Which your posts confirm big time....
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus | August 26, 2009 9:03 PM
Dear Brother Janitor,
Jesus asked me to tell you that he wants you to go and check back into the hospital before you do yourself or someone close to you an injury.
While Jesus appreciates that you have the best intentions, He is concerned that your foaming invective is doing very little to help witness for Him, and a lot of harm.
I am also personally concerned with your obsession about trees sticking out of people's bottoms. I can find no such reference in the Scriptures. You do realise (don't you?) that Jesus was NAILED to the cross, NOT impaled on the cross? Nothing woody was ever poked up the Savior's ass (there wasn't even a disciple named Woody). You could get locked up if your obsession with trees and anuses led to any practical action, and then you'd find much more than a redwood making acquaintance with your puckered orifice. Have I ever told you about my ex-convict friend Floyd Rubber?
Please seek help. you are an embarrassment to thinking Christians!
Your brother in Christ,
Smoggy
PS And learn to use the fucking spell checker!
Posted by: Ben in Texas | August 26, 2009 9:11 PM
HJ, may I ask if you completed high school?
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 27, 2009 3:47 PM
Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus
You are not my brother in christ, you carry the spirit of antichrist. Your one of those people who beleive the maitreya will be Jesus and lead you to follow the Antichrist in hunting down christians and slaughtering them.
I can see from your reaction you didn't like the fact I pointed out the redwood in your eye. Its making you angry cause you know you don't love Jesus. You love sin and leading people into hell. You love watching people suffer in prison too because you hate Jesus. Your master satan is pleased with the way you try to lead these people away from Jesus. Your a false prophet and delusinal servant of satan.
"PS And learn to use the fucking spell checker!"
I am glad my spelling grammar errors make you angry. I will not use a spell check to meet your demands.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 27, 2009 3:53 PM
Yawn, still nothing from HJ except his delusions. HJ should be talking those over with a therapist, not spreading them here.
Posted by: aratina cage
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August 27, 2009 3:55 PM
We got a live one here!
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 27, 2009 3:56 PM
poe fight
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | August 31, 2009 5:08 PM
Nerd of Redhead, OM
As far as I am conserned all the therapists can go to hell. Telling a person that its crazy to believe in Jesus, but not big bang is Satanic. You want christians either
"deprogrammed" or killed off so you don't have to hear the truth that burns your heart anymore. See what I am saying is convicting your heart and its making you angry. So angry that you want revenge.
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 31, 2009 5:14 PM
Telling a person that its crazy to believe in Jesus, but not big bang is Satanic.
Telling us that science and religion are equivalent in fact-based evidence is crazy.
calling something "satanic" is crazy.
you're full of crazy.
...and you're in denial.
you need to see someone about that.
Posted by: Ichthyic | August 31, 2009 5:17 PM
poe fight
oh.
carry on.
Posted by: God | August 31, 2009 5:18 PM
Oh, they don't discriminate like that. It's crazy to believe in Satan, too.
Why would anyone want Christians "deprogrammed" or killed off? You're much funnier the way you are.
Nah. They're just angry because you're being a pill. But please, continue. Don't let Me stop you from being a pill.
Posted by: Satan | August 31, 2009 5:21 PM
Wait, what?
Posted by: God | August 31, 2009 5:25 PM
Please pay closer attention to what I write: I didn't write that You were not real; I wrote that it's crazy to believe in You.
Please think before You type. And give Me a little credit, will You?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 31, 2009 5:31 PM
Janitor, your jebus didn't exist. No historical evidence. Nor does your dog. No physical evidence. All lies told to you by your religion to keep you under their thumb.
What's next? For you to say I am angry at your imaginary deity. But how can I be angry at something that doesn't exist?
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | September 1, 2009 7:54 PM
Nerd of Redhead, OM
Oh your not angry at God? Then why do you want blood?
Posted by: John Morales | September 1, 2009 8:06 PM
Janitor, being angry at your god would be akin to being angry at Harry Potter.
As for wanting blood, that's your perverse interpretation — the way you react is not the way we react. Don't impute your toxic thinking on rational people.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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September 1, 2009 8:15 PM
I don't know anyone here that wants blood. We just want the fundamentalists to keep their religion to themselves instead of inflicting it on the rest of us.
I don't hate god any more than I hate Sauron or the Wicked Witch of the West. It's impossible to hate a fictitious character. It is possible, however, to dislike the people who push insanity based on their god delusions.
Posted by: God | September 1, 2009 8:20 PM
It would be pretty silly for him to want blood, since I have none.
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | September 1, 2009 8:24 PM
Der blöd Mann sagt:
No one here wants blood, Nerd included. You only seem to think so, because you have been trained to demonize anyone who disagree with your religious. We are angry at the believers who attack us for not being in line with them. Anger at god would be irrelevant and pointless.
All in all, if you shut up and bud out of things like science, education, and government, no one here would care if you want to carry on your beliefs.
Posted by: Satan | September 1, 2009 8:29 PM
*ahem*. 1 Peter 1:18-19. Or possibly Exodus 12:21-23.
Posted by: God | September 1, 2009 8:33 PM
Heh. In neither case is that My blood.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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September 1, 2009 8:36 PM
Frankly Janitor, I have no idea what you are talking about. I never mention blood. Yahweh, on the other hand, is pictured as a very bloody deity. Why you would worship such a sick, demented deity is beyond my ken.Posted by: Lynna | September 1, 2009 8:50 PM
Rev BDC @ 202: The illustration is priceless.
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | September 3, 2009 6:55 PM
Gyeong Hwa Pak
I have to shut up but you can say you want, isn't that dictatorship? Stay out of science,education, and government.
Why so you can pass your sexual orgy laws, abortion on demand, euthanize the elderly, gays can rape whoever they want?
So your admitting you hate God and everything the bible stands for you want destroyed. Instead of loving your neighbor you want to lie, steal, cheat and rape your neighbor because you do what you feel like.
See when I said you want blood its convicting your hearts and your getting engraged with me. And its spewing out of mouth like mad dog who foams at the mouth.
Trained to demonize those who disagree with me? I stand agiants evil and you say fighting against evil is a bad thing. See Hitler torturing and murdering all those people was good in your eyes cause Hitler was just doing what he felt like. He was just following your mentalitly. Thats why you atheists love eugenics, cause any one you don't like is considered not fit to live. Mao sa Tung was another friend of yours because he liked killing innocent people.
Satan is using your foolishness to hurt people who love God first. Then he uses you to go after your fellow athiests and your evil enough suck it down hook line and sinker.
And I know for a fact this is true because all of you take pleasure in Hovind being sent to jail. And even that is not enough for you, you keep rejoicing in it in this blog and from your owns words I can see you want Hovind to suffer even more then he does now, because your angry.
Ted Kennedy was an evil man, but I wanted him to repent. God wanted Ted to repent and when Ted refused he went to hell and when he was sent there God took no pleasure in it. See unlike you, God takes no pleasure in anyones suffering. God didn't like watching his own son Jesus suffer on the cross. But God was pleased with Jesus's willingness to be obedient. But yet you enjoy watching christians suffer and it brings you pleasure.
Posted by: Ben in Texas | September 3, 2009 6:57 PM
HJ, were you fondling yourself as you wrote that post?
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | September 3, 2009 7:23 PM
Heaven's Jizz-mopper wrote:
Until you can stop lying, and find a way to provide evidence that your god exists and that a religion based around worshipping it isn't detrimental to freedom and equality, yes.
Please provide evidence of any 'orgy laws'? Please provide a valid argument against abortion on demand. Please provide an argument against voluntary euthenasia. Please provide evidence that 'gays' are raping anyone.
Please explain how it is possible to hate something that does not exist.
Please look up the meaning of 'projection'.
Hitler was a proud Christian leader of a proud, almost entirely Christian nation; he followed the teachings of Martin Luther, one of the most famous Christians of all times, in Christian-justified anti-semitism and justified-by-his-god murder.
Please cite the texts which atheists refer to when justifying murder. Note that communism is not atheism any more than communism is a lack of belief in unicorns.
Please cite the texts which atheists refer to when justifying eugenics - as opposed to the bible, which has many examples of God ordering genocide and indulging in it himself.
Please explain how something that doesn't exist can use us to do anything. Please explain how, even if this Satan creature did exist, it could be more powerful than your god, which is meant to be infinitely powerful.
Please look up the meaning of the words 'know', 'fact' and 'true' - and the expression 'non sequitur'.
How do you know? Has this god spoken to you? If you claim the bible is true, then there is much evidence to the contrary - since, as an infinitely powerful being, your god could achieve everything he needs to without anyone having to suffer.
So, either god is not infinitely powerful, or god takes pleasure in suffering.
If the truth hurts, stop believing in lies.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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September 3, 2009 7:31 PM
Obviously you haven't read the babble. You can be put to death for wearing a polyester/cotton shirt. When can we arrange for your stoning? Or, just maybe, your babble isn't inerrant, and some parts are less of a lie than others. Your choice mopman. The stoning or the acknowledgement of not being inerrant...Posted by: Rey Fox | September 3, 2009 7:53 PM
Funny stuff. I'm trying to square this:
"Then the Catholic Church would be banned"
and this:
"Witchcraft and open Satanic devil worshiped would be banned."
with this:
"Any nation that wanted to be allies would have to recoginize human rights and freedom of religion."
Just goes to show you, when the conservatives say "freedom of religion", they mean "freedom of my religion".
"Instead of loving your neighbor you want to lie, steal, cheat and rape your neighbor because you do what you feel like. "
Excuse me, I've never ever felt like stealing, cheating, and raping my neighbor. Are you projecting?
* Lying? Well, maybe in delicate social situations...
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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September 3, 2009 8:13 PM
In one respect Janitor to the Gods is correct. I do take pleasure that convicted tax-evader Hovind is in prison. In the same way, I'm glad that Irwin Schiff*, Richard Simkanin and Walter Anderson are in prison for tax evasion. I have no sympathy for tax evaders.
Schiff is the father of a friend of mine. I'm still glad the guy's in prison.
Posted by: SC, OM | September 3, 2009 8:22 PM
This one's like K*nny with a twist of fac*l*s.
Posted by: Satan | September 3, 2009 9:53 PM
Hm. Doesn't the bible stand for sexual orgies, abortion on demand, and straight men raping any women they want?
Posted by: God | September 3, 2009 9:55 PM
Have you been sniffing glue or something?
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | September 4, 2009 6:47 PM
Rey Fox
Devil worshipers are the #1 committers of treason against the United States. Devil worshipers have only sought to harm this nation. Therefore they should not be allowed to openly practise as they are plotting to hurt people.
Just like the white supremicst groups should be shut down because they are enciting violence against, blacks christians and Jews. Same goes for the nation of Islam they openly plot to bring the downfall of this nation.
I will go as far as to say the Tv preachers who are conmen should be arrested and tried for treason. As they openly claim if you send them money, God will heal you.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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September 4, 2009 7:01 PM
Ah, good old illogical godbot thinking. God doesn't exist, ergo his arch enemy satan doesn't exist. (♪Can't have one without the other♬.) Failure all around. Just a waste of bandwidth by the mopster.Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | September 4, 2009 7:06 PM
That's one of the goofiest things I've ever seen a woo-soaked kook come up with. Considering I was here during Crackergate, that's saying something.
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | September 4, 2009 7:11 PM
Nope. If anything it's you godbots who harm the Nation, by suppressing religious and political freedom and taking away rights of good Americans.
The White Supremacist were also radically Protestants and used your God as rhetoric.
Well, no one is saying that they have to send them money except a belief in a looney god. That's not even treason. People are free to use their money in such a looney fasion if they wish. Illogical yes, but not illegal.
Posted by: Rey Fox | September 4, 2009 7:19 PM
"Therefore they should not be allowed to openly practise as they are plotting to hurt people."
So is it okay for them to practice (and plot) in secret? Wouldn't it be easier to keep tabs on them if they practiced openly? You know, maybe make them wear a pentagram on their shirt or something?
Posted by: Heavens Janitor | September 5, 2009 5:42 AM
I will finish up by saying don't be fooled by the religoun of evolution. For those of you who haven't been handed over to a reprobate mind, there really is a God. And his law is quite simple, love the Lord Keep his commandments and love your neighbor. But the world does not want love so they reject Jesus.
Don't be fooled by the Tv preachers or Pagan Churches like the Catholic Church. Don't be fooled by vain philosophy.
Posted by: mick.long
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February 13, 2010 12:49 AM
And burn some bulls, their odor is pleasing to the Lord.
Posted by: Apocraphy
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February 14, 2010 10:10 AM
@Heavens Mothball distributer(janitor-in case you dont get it)
Let me get this straight
You want the following:
"Any nation that wanted to be allies would have to recoginize human rights and freedom of religion."
I gather you want freedom of religion
"Then the Catholic Church would be banned"
You want to ban the Catholic church
You want to ban Islam
Islam is a religion,catholicism is a religion
You want freedom of religion,how again?
Please clear this up for me,I dont understand how you can and cant want something at the same time,is this a divinely inspired skill or something?
Posted by: calilasseia
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September 16, 2011 8:52 PM
So ... has anything come of this turdball of a project, or did it die a death before any footage was shot?