…and this is a 
The lucky people near George Washington University get to learn all about godless sex on 16 September.
Fred Edwords
"The Joy of Godless Sex"
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
The George Washington University
Marvin Center AmphitheaterWhen it comes to sexuality, two sizes don't fit all. Nor does one institution. That's why a nontheistic, humanist approach recognizes sexual diversity, individuality, freedom, and responsibility. And that's why humanists continue to work for an end to needless guilt and repression and actively call for a broadening of human possibilities and pleasures.
Hosted by SKEPTIC (Science and Knowledge Empowering People to Intelligently Choose), an affiliate of the Secular Student Alliance.
Hang on there…this is a trick. All sex is godless, peculiar Catholic prayer books notwithstanding. It's just that we can be far more inventive without an imaginary phantasm hanging over our shoulders.
For example, behold: the four-headed spiny anteater penis. The universe is a far weirder place than the godly can imagine.
Comments
Posted by: SC, OM | September 4, 2009 11:47 PM
This and Fargo - good public-events news day.
Posted by: arachnophilia | September 4, 2009 11:48 PM
then you're probably doing it wrong.
Posted by: strange gods bless 'merica | September 4, 2009 11:50 PM
Speak for yourself! My phantasms have some intriguing kinks.
Posted by: SC, OM | September 4, 2009 11:51 PM
"...they often mate with up to 11 males, one after the other."
No comment. :)
Posted by: llewelly | September 4, 2009 11:56 PM
Don't you have a book to write?
Stop downloading pr0n and get back to work.
Posted by: Amy G | September 4, 2009 11:56 PM
I found the spiny anteater video quite interesting. It just goes to show how amazing God's plans really are. (j/k!)
Posted by: monkeyman8 | September 4, 2009 11:57 PM
@4 we must splice spiny ant eater genes into women at once. (I don't care if that's not how genetics works! Just get it done!)
Posted by: echidna | September 4, 2009 11:57 PM
Spiny anteater? Is saying echidna too difficult?
Posted by: Newfie | September 5, 2009 12:01 AM
I can move my wang just like that, Ladies....
/ no I can't... and what's the story with anteater vagina? .. a twisted maze?
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | September 5, 2009 12:01 AM
How can sex be godless?
Don't you scream:
"Oh god, oh god, f yes, god yes"
Then yell:
"Jesus Chrsit, I coming."
When you finish?
:)
Posted by: strange gods bless 'merica | September 5, 2009 12:02 AM
Is saying echidna too difficult?
That's a furren language.
Posted by: SC, OM | September 5, 2009 12:03 AM
*googles*
I never knew! :/
BTW, "snout" is one of the best words in the English language.
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | September 5, 2009 12:03 AM
Oops. I must have said something to activate the killfile. Now I'm embarrassed.
Posted by: Fil | September 5, 2009 12:05 AM
The nature of sex down here is enough to do any god's head in (and not just after the pub on Saturdays). Not only are the animals wonderfully weird, so are many of their sexual adaptations. Kangaroos have their curved dick behind their balls for instance and watching them mate you realise how lucky you are to be human. They may not have god's looking over their shoulders, but they sure as shit have every other male in the area trying to muscle in on the fun.
As for Echidnas (which not only have large dicks but also surprisingly large brains) I suspect the reason they have four heads on their penis involved some painful accidents...;-) (yeah I know a bit Lamarkian).
Mind you, they give great tongue!
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 5, 2009 12:07 AM
So some scientists get an echidna, stick it in a lab and jerk it off on a regular basis to see it's erection.
...that there my folks, is the happiest lab animal on the planet.
Posted by: Bevo/devo | September 5, 2009 12:12 AM
Good to see I'm not the only mammal with a four headed penis.
Posted by: OGeorge | September 5, 2009 12:15 AM
What's so unusual about that? All penises are 4 headed aren't they? WHAT?
Posted by: Paguroidea | September 5, 2009 12:31 AM
Fred's talk looks interesting. Too bad I don't live closer to DC. I wonder if this is the same Fred Edwords who did a fantastic job discussing the humanist bus ads on the O'Reilly Factor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NK0ql49hKAk
Posted by: tacitus | September 5, 2009 12:35 AM
I have fond memories of when I visited Australia's southernmost point--Wilson's Promentary, in Victoria--and an echidna came shuffling around my feet as I was just sitting and admiring the view. The wildlife in Australia is just amazing.
But perhaps it's just as well the little creature kept its own "promentary" under wraps before it disappeared into the undergrowth. I'm not sure what my reaction would have been if I'd have seen it waggling that thing about!
Posted by: Uncle Roger | September 5, 2009 12:40 AM
Whoa. And I thought my job sucked.
"Hey, Jimmy, my dad is a biologist. What does your dad do?"
"My dad's a spiny anteater fluffer."
Posted by: Simon Scott | September 5, 2009 12:44 AM
11 groups of 4 at a time?
Reminds me of a movie I once saw......
Posted by: DB | September 5, 2009 12:47 AM
I actually intended to join to a similar type of group at my campus and must say I found people there surprisingly judgmental.
I went to the group which was similarly an atheist group that was supposed to be about "preventing prejudice and fostering understanding about those who choose to live alternative sexual lifestyles." Polyamory, open relationships bi-sexuals transgenders etc.
I myself am in a strait monogamous relationship have been for just under 2 years now and am very happy. I joined or intended to join the group even though I don't practice an alternative sexual lifestyle because I am also an atheist and I don't think anyone should suffer discrimination because of their sexuality, especially because some bigot 2000 years ago decided to write down what he did not like in a book of fables. As long as no one gets hurt whatever makes you happy is fine by me.
The problem being that the few other people who showed up to support that group did not seem to share my opinion. Everyone kinda introduced themselves and talked about who they were and why they joined and so forth and when I said I was strait and monogamous a couple of them looked at me like I was a leper and were outright hostile to my choice of being in a monogamous relationship.
I got essentially berated that humans are "not naturally monogamous" and I am just in the relationship I am because I was accepting and adhering to cultural norms or the worst insult that my 2 year relationship was "petty" because it being monogamous was based on sexual jealousy. Yes if I slept with anyone else I would feel incredibly guilty and if my GF cheated on me I would be devastated but I don't see how that makes my relationship any less meaningful the fact remains we are perfectly happy and content just having a sexual relationship with one another.
I doubt I could ever be happy in any kind of poly-amorous or open relationship the same is true of my GF I don't begrudge other people who do practice those relationships however I know there's a great many people who could not be happy in a "traditional" relationship and I showed up intending to give my support but was essentially rejected.
I guess the reason I came out with this diatribe is that I think this is a worthy cause and would hate to see it ruined and eventually collapse the way the group did on my local campus. They alienated way to many people by being (ironically) hostile to others sexual choices IE monogamy.
I guess what I'm saying is this needs to be a entirely positive campaign and not attack others choices which I already see elements of in their press release. For example the "broadening of human possibilities and pleasure" giving the implication that those of us who are monogamous have extremely "narrow" or shallow possibilities. Or perhaps I am just reading far too much into this because of my one bad experience, I'm sure most of the people behind this are a good deal more tolerant then the one or two who in my experience gave a similar group a bad name I wish them luck in any case.
Posted by: ObSciGuy | September 5, 2009 12:49 AM
I think hemipenes of snakes maybe illustrate your point a little better? ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76Q3xKf7lX4
Posted by: Chris P | September 5, 2009 12:50 AM
Didn't you pick the wrong video on New Scientist PZ? There is another one that won an Ignobel prize showing the real "thing" in complete cross section.
http://www.newscientist.com/video?bcpid=25196461001&bclid=1904732932&bctid=34860226001
Posted by: Andyman | September 5, 2009 12:54 AM
Godless sex is easy, just substitute god for PZ and jesus for cephalopod.
Posted by: Liveliest Crib | September 5, 2009 1:15 AM
SKEPTIC (Science and Knowledge Empowering People to Intelligently Choose)
Ugh, that's hokey.
Posted by: tsg | September 5, 2009 1:15 AM
WARNING: I have been drinking....and this was too good to pass up. I'm sure I'll regret it in the morning, but then again I never do...
Don't try this at home.
This is the story of a man named Jacques.
The only man born with a corkscrew cock.
He spent his days in a lifelong hunt
for the only girl born with a corkscrew cunt.
He found that girl and then fell dead.
For her corkscrew cunt had a left-hand thread.
Thank you, you're too kind. I'm here all week. Be sure to tip your waitstaff.... Good night, uh, wheredafuckami?
Posted by: Andyo
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September 5, 2009 1:21 AM
Yeah, all this is well and good, but the freaking cheesy acronym puns MUST END!
Posted by: Liveliest Crib | September 5, 2009 1:23 AM
DB,
I have found your experience generalizable across many such support groups.
I've seen women's groups ruined by factions who hate men, and who insist that true feminists must be lesbian separatists. I've met gay and lesbian people literally infuriated that their community centers had become "LGBT" centers, as they felt transgendered people did not belong. I've even met post-operative transsexuals who deride non-operative transsexuals as illegitimate, and vice versa.
I wonder, if a group were devoted to the idea that all consenting adults, no matter their proclivities, are equally entitled to their own pursuits of happiness likewise suffer the same out-group hostility?
Posted by: Xenithrys | September 5, 2009 1:23 AM
Hey Tacitus @ 19,
There are Tasmanian Pharyngulites you know; I think you're in trouble now.
But yes they are cool; sort of mammalian kiwis.
Posted by: Andyo
|
September 5, 2009 1:47 AM
Posted by: Andyo
|
September 5, 2009 1:50 AM
shite, forgot to close the blockquote, but you know what I meant.
Posted by: tacitus | September 5, 2009 1:57 AM
I do know (about Tasmania, I mean). No offense meant, I guess I should have inserted "mainland" into the comment somewhere.
Posted by: Fil | September 5, 2009 2:11 AM
As one of those Tasmanian Pharyngulites I heartily forgive tacitus' little error.
I love coming across echidnas (they bustle along in this funny rolling gait, or they are totally absorbed in eating ants from an old log or whatever and provide you keep your distance you can watch them for ages) so his heart warming anecdote made me smile. :-)
Posted by: Michael Kingsford Gray | September 5, 2009 2:14 AM
You need to look "Down Under" for extreme phallacies.
Posted by: Azkyroth | September 5, 2009 2:23 AM
To say nothing of the open hostility between various online fetish communities.
Posted by: weae | September 5, 2009 2:42 AM
it's an echidna. ECHIDNA. yeah, it eats ants, but it is an echidna!
It paroidies marsupial reproduction THEN a bit of bird/reptile reproduction before heading back to marsupial.
The majority of marsupials have 2-penis or 2-uterus
Posted by: SC, OM | September 5, 2009 2:56 AM
Still better than this, though:
http://www.meetup.com/DAFT-Atheists/
:)
Posted by: Crewvy
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September 5, 2009 3:09 AM
So,the phrase,hung like an Echidna,is not an insult?
Posted by: John Morales | September 5, 2009 3:27 AM
[OOT]
Sorry, couldn't resist sharing this story:
Echidna found in Maccas drain.
Posted by: Knockgoats | September 5, 2009 3:31 AM
what's the story with anteater vagina? .. a twisted maze? - Newfie
I'm not sure they have one, as such: these are monotremes (which means "animal with a single hole" - they have a cloaca, which serves for all reproductive and eliminative purposes). However, I don't know the details of the female's internal plumbing.
Posted by: Larry | September 5, 2009 3:51 AM
"...they often mate with up to 11 males, one after the other." ?????
Streetwalker or just plain whore ???
Posted by: SaintStephen | September 5, 2009 5:00 AM
Oh heck, Mr. Spiny Anteater. Just take a small latex glove, tie a granny knot where the thumb goes and VOILA! Instant condom. Works great for me.
Signed, Pope Benedict XVI
Posted by: Mrs Tilton
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September 5, 2009 5:27 AM
Wait, didn't I once see a Japanese monster movie about that? Ghidrah the Four-Headed Spiny Anteater Penis? The only thing that can control is was the singing of two tiny kimono-wearing identical twins in a box? As per usual for the genre, GtF-HSAP was the bad guy in its first film, but in later films fought side-by-side with the similarly converted Godzilla to protect a cardboard model of Tokyo from newer, less biddable monsters.
Posted by: scooter
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September 5, 2009 5:40 AM
I'm glad there is some critter out there eating the spiney ants, I hate those things.
Healthfinger
That penis thing is alot like a high pressure bottle washing nozzle
Posted by: Zarquon | September 5, 2009 5:42 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxtVI-j-28s
Posted by: J-Ball | September 5, 2009 6:20 AM
As an undergrad a friend of mine worked in the university poultry lab doing genetics work. He always described his job as "stimulating cocks".
Posted by: J-Ball | September 5, 2009 6:25 AM
Cheerleader.
Posted by: neutron | September 5, 2009 6:34 AM
Completely OT - although maybe it will convert some of this penis envy into neutron envy - my copy of The Greatest Show on Earth arrived from Amazon this morning...YES!
Posted by: daveau | September 5, 2009 7:11 AM
Dammit! And I just learned to pray before sex.
Posted by: Shelley Mountjoy | September 5, 2009 7:17 AM
@Paguroidea It is the same Fred Edwords... he's an awesome public speaker!
Posted by: Dr.FabulousShoes | September 5, 2009 7:45 AM
I think I shall just have to mosey on over.
Since DC passed recognition of same sex marriages in other states a couple of months ago there's been a bit of an uptick in anti-LGBT violence in my neighborhood. Now that the board of elections was ever so wise to tell Marion Barry and Bishop Jackson to stuff it (since a prop 8 style referendum is unconstitutional) and we're preparing to legalize same sex marriages here, I like seeing the open public support for LGBT folks.
Also, most mating strategies of other animals are delightfully awesome. Sounds like a fun night.
Posted by: Irene Delse | September 5, 2009 8:03 AM
I love the careful little mention at the beginning of the article:
"Warning Sexually explicit animal anatomy"
;-)
Posted by: Carlie | September 5, 2009 8:17 AM
Hopefully it's not "Thank God that's over with." ;)
Posted by: eddie | September 5, 2009 8:50 AM
I was gonna mention that Edwords is an unusual spelling and maybe an attempt to disassociate from a senator, but I got distracted. Mountjoy is a truly awesome name.
PS - I'd give my left penis to be normal.
Posted by: recovering catholic | September 5, 2009 9:21 AM
OK, so the sperm travel in packs of 100--how do they decide which one gets to fertilize the egg once they get there???
Posted by: Lilith | September 5, 2009 9:35 AM
The video is blocked here at work, which is probably a good thing.
Besides, I'm still slightly traumatized from the time I sat down in front to the TV to eat dinner and was treated to a scene of a zoo employee masturbating a rhino.
Posted by: mikecbraun | September 5, 2009 10:58 AM
Damn the monotremes and their four-headed members!
Posted by: Knockgoats | September 5, 2009 11:04 AM
I'm still slightly traumatized from the time I sat down in front to the TV to eat dinner and was treated to a scene of a zoo employee masturbating a rhino. - Lilith
Well, be thankful it wasn't the other way round. Rhinos get pretty horny, you know1
Posted by: Scott | September 5, 2009 12:00 PM
@ Knockgoats: 5 minutes in the punalty box.
Posted by: eddie | September 5, 2009 1:09 PM
J-dog @48 wins. I think we're done here.
Posted by: Bill Dauphin, OM | September 5, 2009 1:17 PM
There's a critical distinction to be made between godless and "Oh, my God!"less. Jus' sayin'....
Posted by: amphiox | September 5, 2009 1:49 PM
#22, #29, #36:
That's because manufacturing and then despising outgroups is one of the things that humans do best.
Yay! We're number one! We're number one!
Posted by: amphiox | September 5, 2009 1:53 PM
"It's just that we can be far more inventive without an imaginary phantasm hanging over our shoulders."
It may just be an accident of history that the major monotheisms all ended with a twisted, stuck-up prude for a god. (Or more accurately, an accident of history that the major monotheisms all ended up with a bunch of twisted, stuck-up prudes as founders and principle authorities)
Among the polytheisms, though, it is generally a different story. Think Bacchus, Venus, and that Hindu one with all the hands. . . ?
(And I wonder what the proclivities of Aten were?)
Posted by: darvolution proponentsist | September 5, 2009 2:33 PM
... and some of you thought penis jokes couldn't be intellectual.
Posted by: BenW
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September 5, 2009 3:54 PM
Rock, paper, scissors. That is the same way the 11 males picks who goes first.
I wonder if it is better to be first or last. Perhaps the prehensile penis serves to remove some of the previous ejaculate (I think dragonflies do that) to improve the chances of that male impregnating.
Makes me wish my PhD will be in a science until I realize what pay is for those guys.
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | September 5, 2009 4:49 PM
Two heads are better than one, so they say,
So four heads are better by far;
It took evolution to build this array,
And to humans, it still seems bizarre.
It never would work for a human male, though,
(Is it blessing, or is it a pity?)
See, men tend to think with their dicks, and we know
That nothing gets done by committee.
Posted by: Stuart Weinstein | September 5, 2009 4:50 PM
Wow! The Anteater's pants must fit like a glove!
Posted by: Kendo | September 5, 2009 5:09 PM
Heh! "Four headed spiny anteater penis", is definitely going to be a line in the next song my band writes.
Posted by: IaMoL | September 5, 2009 5:15 PM
OMG, Cuttlefish has achieved the impossible: he's topped himself.;D
Posted by: Paula S | September 5, 2009 5:38 PM
Um, well, wow, gee, for the first time in my life I'm absolutely speechless. Sheeesh!
Posted by: Marc Abian | September 5, 2009 5:55 PM
Cuttlefish you done good.
And are you boat happy with that?
I know. I can't believe how badly domination.org treats masochism.net. Us over at voyeurplanet.com have been watching that one for a while.
Posted by: Grendels Dad | September 5, 2009 6:42 PM
1st, yay Cuttlefish!
2nd, is it just the animals posture, or is that penis about ¼ of his total body length? As if I didn’t feel inadequate enough with my mono-headed member, now I find out that it is an entire freaking foot too short to impress a lady echidna!
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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September 5, 2009 6:53 PM
The "lady" in question has quite a few of those long spines. The male may want to be able to miss those. Or maybe, no pain, no gain...Posted by: Jason | September 5, 2009 7:59 PM
ECHIDNA.
ECHIDNA.ECHIDNA. ECHIDNA.
Posted by: octopod | September 6, 2009 12:20 PM
Sheesh, you guys, give the lady echidna a break on the promiscuity! If you were of a species and sex that experienced estrus -- that is to say, if you were only to have sex for a few days at a time, once or twice a year -- wouldn't you want to screw like a maniac for that brief stretch of time?
And we all know that one male can't keep up with that...
Posted by: Notagod | September 6, 2009 12:47 PM
Jesus, son of the christian god-idea lord all mighty, is sticking its head out of the end of that penis. Jesus is such a disgusting little pervert.
Posted by: Kangaroo-Jockey | September 6, 2009 6:54 PM
Argh, what is it with the "Australian Spiny Anteater"! It's an Echidna, always has been, always will be! /aussierage
That over with, heh, what a nifty vid.
Posted by: Jeffrey P Goldberg
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September 7, 2009 1:20 PM
I'm not so sure. After all, the Holy Ghost is a mother f*er.