…and this is a 
Everyone: start partying. You don't have much time left. THE WORLD ENDS TOMORROW.
You might be tempted to go read the evidence on that page, but trust me, there is no time to waste — you really need to get frolicking now, because so little time is left. Besides, if you look at the colors and funny fonts and ugly layout of that page, your eyes will start bleeding and you might experience cerebral hemorrhaging…and do you really want to spend the last day of your life in the emergency room?
OK, you're all skeptics. You need data. Here it is: proof positive that the Rapture will occur on 21 September 2009.
I tell you, how can you deny that? Math doesn't lie!
Go! You don't have much time left.
Oh, no. I just realized — the liquor store in Morris is closed on Sunday! And there's no porn for sale anywhere in town! And I don't smoke, and don't have a clue where to get drugs!
By the way, we really need to check that web page again on 22 September. Remind me.
Comments
Posted by: ShaunOTD | September 20, 2009 12:49 PM
Crap! The supermarket's already shut & I'm all out of bacon.
Oh the Huge Manatee!!!
Posted by: JD | September 20, 2009 12:49 PM
I'll bring the ice.
Posted by: A. Noyd
|
September 20, 2009 12:50 PM
Aggggggh, my eyes!
Posted by: kalibhakta | September 20, 2009 12:50 PM
dude, it's quite not the end of the world--it's the disappearance of all (true) christians! it's a win-win situation! if they're right: fewer headaches for the rest of us. if they're wrong: mock. but--what's the confidence level on the graph?
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | September 20, 2009 12:50 PM
I dunno. I'm still a little bit skeptical.
Can anyone label the Y-axis of Graph Ω for me?
Posted by: terrylong | September 20, 2009 12:50 PM
So, eat lefse.
Posted by: notscarlettohara | September 20, 2009 12:51 PM
I prefer the Jimmy Buffett stance on these occasions.
Posted by: notscarlettohara | September 20, 2009 12:54 PM
Sorry, that's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq7rOvfrBhc. Stupid HTML coding.
Posted by: DavidD | September 20, 2009 12:54 PM
What's with the sine wave? Doesn't God have a random number generator?
Posted by: Schp | September 20, 2009 12:57 PM
Why does '41 jubilees' jump from being 1980 solar years to 2009 solar years?
Posted by: bybelknap, FCD | September 20, 2009 12:57 PM
For the best end of the world sketch evar - you must seek the Secret Policeman's Ball.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hJQ18S6aag
Posted by: A. Noyd
|
September 20, 2009 12:57 PM
Oh yeah, and is this what people do with a Ph.D. in missiology? Because I think they need to add a few design courses to the curriculum.
Posted by: mingfrommongo | September 20, 2009 12:58 PM
Isn't that Mr. Diety in the videos at that site?
Posted by: Tim H | September 20, 2009 12:59 PM
Let that be a lesson to you, PZ. You never know when you will get a one day notice that the world will end, so you should ALWAYS keep your liquor cabinet properly stocked. Remember, Merle is depending on you.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | September 20, 2009 1:02 PM
notscarlettohara @ # 8: that URL is foo too. Lurkers: copy the whole thing except for the dot at the end (i.e., http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq7rOvfrBhc ), you'll be taken straight to the Party At the End of the World.
Posted by: Berny | September 20, 2009 1:03 PM
P.Z., who buys porn anymore? That's what the Internet is for!
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | September 20, 2009 1:03 PM
That sure is an amazing site. tl;dr for sure, but one can get at least the flavor by gestalt from a quick scroll. Here's the Executive Summary, presented in a slightly less garish fashion:
I've got a few beers left and...uh...some hummus.
But I have to work tomorrow.
Posted by: Rakehell | September 20, 2009 1:03 PM
Does that mean I don't have to go to work tomorrow?
Posted by: skepsci | September 20, 2009 1:05 PM
PZ, I'm amazed that someone who spends as much time online as you clearly do can't figure out how to get porn because it's not for sale in Morris.
Posted by: Jim | September 20, 2009 1:05 PM
Wow, they seem to think that Damascus is in Iran!
Also, they are a whole year too late for the economic crisis - it's been and (largely) gone, thank goodness.
Oh oh!! George Bush is still president?? (Section 7)
Also, there was no serious food shortage this last spring, and no serious droughts - just business as usual - somewhere there will be floods, somewhere there will be drought, but nothing untoward has happened so far.
I think that's enough of their nonsense - I enjoy a bit of end-of-the-world fantasy, but these folks are positively gleeful at all the death and suffering that they so want to happen (like tomorrow please?)!
Is this what Christianity is all about? Sheezz....
Posted by: Dave C | September 20, 2009 1:06 PM
Inflection points are just so rapturous!
Posted by: bc23.5
|
September 20, 2009 1:06 PM
That is the most stupidz I've seen in one place in quite some time. I think that was at the RNC.
Posted by: NixNoctua
|
September 20, 2009 1:06 PM
Why is there a sine wave? I tried to find a purpose for it, but it seemed kinda random. Ah, batshit-crazy math: the best kind of math.
Posted by: ShaunOTD | September 20, 2009 1:06 PM
Smoggy - you're in NZ - can you give us a heads-up when this hits? You should be a good few hours ahead of the rest of us.
Posted by: JefFlyingV, Crossroad Blues | September 20, 2009 1:06 PM
It has to be a parody website. The page is just to obnoxious to be an end of the worlder web site.
Posted by: Joe Kendra | September 20, 2009 1:07 PM
Gaaaah! I clicked on the link and now I can't unsee it!
Seriously, who writes like that? I never meet these people.
Probably for the best, I suppose.
Posted by: Susan | September 20, 2009 1:09 PM
PZ:
You work with college students, man. Get crackin'!
Posted by: raven | September 20, 2009 1:09 PM
????? They must sell beer somewhere though. Who needs liquor when you have beer?
That website is no big deal. Herbert Armstrong predicted the Rapture three times in the 20th century. And was wrong three times. To become a False Prophet takes monumental effort. Armstrong still has a few followers.
Posted by: Dead Men | September 20, 2009 1:10 PM
HAHAHAHAHA!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
September 21st is MY BIRTHDAY!
GROVEL BEFORE ME, MORTAL WRETCHES - I HAVE COME TO CLAIM YOUR WORLD!
Posted by: skepsci | September 20, 2009 1:12 PM
Where is this clown getting his dates from? Everyone knows it's only been 5,769 years since Creation.
Posted by: https://services.mozilla.com/openid/TurboFool
|
September 20, 2009 1:13 PM
I think #4 hit it right on the head. The party starts TOMORROW for us, not today. We get a world full of only non-fuddy duddies. At least until the rivers of blood and all that. But still.
Posted by: Drake Walker | September 20, 2009 1:14 PM
We need to get Gene Ray on this STAT! I'd like to see how this interacts with the Time Cube.
/sigh
In all seriousness though, schizophrenia sucks. I feel pity for this poor person.
Posted by: speedwell | September 20, 2009 1:14 PM
The end of the world happens to fall conveniently on... the equinox. Because, I assume, God thought it was funny to do something according to the fertility rhythms of the "Old Religion." Right. I have friends deep into New Age woo who aren't that worked up over the stupid equinox.
Posted by: Blue Girl | September 20, 2009 1:14 PM
You don't know where to get drugs?!? Come now! You are a professor, and college kids always have weed! I have never asked a student to score for me, but at my little CC I can think of five off the top of my head who probably have some in their backpack at any given time!
Posted by: Larry | September 20, 2009 1:16 PM
Gotta be fake. It doesn't show the Red Sox winning the Series in 2004 which, as everyone knows, was one of the 7 signs of the Apocalypse.
Strangely, however, if you work through the math, it does predict the Cubs winning it all in October of 2009, which, of course, is after the end of days.
Sorry, Chicago. Better luck next time.
Posted by: Natalie | September 20, 2009 1:17 PM
I have a service I'd like to offer to all Christians. Entrust all your worldly goods to me, and I will look after them when the Rapture comes...
And since I'm in Australia (ie: The Future) I can give y'all advance warning.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
|
September 20, 2009 1:17 PM
Why the hell ain't you out cavorting with the missus?! That should be funner than pr0n any day.
Posted by: natural cynic | September 20, 2009 1:18 PM
Hey, not to worry! The end has already happened. Since the birth of Jesus happened during the reign of Herod - who died in 4 BCE - the whole wave function is off by at least 4 years. Thank you Dennis Short [Dionysus Exiguus]. Didn't you notice all of the True ChristiansTM disappeared several years back?
Posted by: 386sx | September 20, 2009 1:18 PM
You gotta admit that's quite a coincidence that the last temple would be in the year 4018 A.D. exactly. You gotta admit...
Posted by: Ian.A | September 20, 2009 1:18 PM
Does this mean that when class starts tomorrow that there WON'T be any Gideons on campus handing out those little Bibles?
Thanks a lot, God! You sure are a considerate guy, timing it so perfectly like that!
Posted by: ArmandTanzarian
|
September 20, 2009 1:19 PM
You could've at least warned us the website is a total eye-rape. Argh!
Posted by: Heidi | September 20, 2009 1:20 PM
Aw, don't get my hopes up like that.
Posted by: Dania
|
September 20, 2009 1:22 PM
This is much worse than Time Cube.
My eyes...
Posted by: Standard Curve
|
September 20, 2009 1:22 PM
Hmmm... Get me a bunch of Helium cylinders, and an unlimited supply of blow up sex dolls. We can make them all feel "Left Behind".
Perhaps a"Six Feet Under" marathon would be a good way to spend the day?
Posted by: TheLoneIguana | September 20, 2009 1:22 PM
That much concentrated crazy gives me nosebleeds just looking at it.
Posted by: Ian.A | September 20, 2009 1:22 PM
Does this mean that when class starts tomorrow that there WON'T be any Gideons on campus handing out those little Bibles?
Thanks a lot, God! You sure are a considerate guy, timing it so perfectly like that!
Posted by: Zeno | September 20, 2009 1:24 PM
Damn. Then I got that haircut yesterday for nothing.
I guess I can at least skip doing the laundry then.
Posted by: Ian.A | September 20, 2009 1:25 PM
Does this mean that when class starts tomorrow that there WON'T be any Gideons on campus handing out those little Bibles?
Gee, thanks a lot, God! You sure are a considerate guy, timing it so perfectly like that!
Posted by: AndymanEC | September 20, 2009 1:26 PM
Nothing says professionalism and rationality quite like poor website design, large font, multicolored text, and highlighted passages.
Posted by: ThankDarwin | September 20, 2009 1:27 PM
I sure hope the rapture comes on the 21st. I could use some new stuff.
I have some rapture-ready neighbors. My eye's on that pick-up truck. Maybe they have a big-screen TV. I'll wander over there and if no one's home, I'll pick up a few things.
And if they come back and catch me with their stuff...well...I'll just apologize for the misunderstanding and point them to the web site.
How was I to know that prophecy wasn't fulfilled? Or maybe it was and THEY weren't taken...hmmm...
Posted by: Benjamin Phillips | September 20, 2009 1:27 PM
I hope the rapture DOES come and takes them far far far far far far far far far far far far awya =)! That means more liquor and porn for us once their gone.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
September 20, 2009 1:28 PM
The world ends on a Monday. That seems quite appropriate.
Posted by: John Squire | September 20, 2009 1:29 PM
Hey, if you're not convinced by that dubious trig function, there's proof from the world of linear algebra, too.
SEPT 21 2009 MATRIX:
http://www.rapture2009.org/newmatrix.htm
Posted by: Aaron | September 20, 2009 1:30 PM
OT, but this poll could use some help.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Poll.aspx?ekfrm=687588
Posted by: Justin | September 20, 2009 1:32 PM
PZ, the world is NOT ending tomorrow. It's the freaking RAPTURE, man. That means that the christians will be magically beamed up into the sky, where they will proceed to spend the next eternity in an orgy with Jesus.
The rest of us will be in a lot of trouble, because with all of those people disappearing, there will be moving cars without drivers, airborne planes without pilots, ambulance, police and firefighter squads will be short on workers, etc. - in short, a lot of death and mayhem.
The above is a retelling of some common scenarios created by people who truly believe in that rapture hogwash. And yes, they DO think that an eternal orgy with Jesus awaits them (in a Perfect palace/bedroom to boot).
On the bright side, those of us who survive that will live in a world without christians. As long as we can deal with radical muslims and other assorted crazies, we should have a pretty nice world to ourselves.
Posted by: CrackaLee | September 20, 2009 1:32 PM
I just bought a fifth of Jim Beam and an ounce of green yesterday, looks like I'm going to have an extremely inebriated last 24 hours on Earth. Let's get to sinnin'!!! WHEEEEEEEEE!!
Posted by: F | September 20, 2009 1:32 PM
God's Timewave?
They wouldn't be staling this idea from pagan psychonaut Terrence McKenna, would they? If so, then lulz.
Posted by: Lynna | September 20, 2009 1:33 PM
I love sine waves. But my local mormon-dominated stores are closed too. I wonder if I should waste some of my last few hours on earth driving to a town with an open liquor store. Oh wait ... I won't be raptured! I am one of the evil ones, so I have lots of time to imbibe, at least a thousand years, right?
Posted by: perplexed | September 20, 2009 1:35 PM
Oh shit, and I had to go and sleep untill two in the afternoon.
Hang on what time zone does the lord function on? I may have longer left than I thought
Posted by: rogue06 | September 20, 2009 1:36 PM
"And I don't smoke, and don't have a clue where to get drugs!"
You live in a college town and don't know where to find drugs? You sir have not been trying
Posted by: Kevin Anthoney
|
September 20, 2009 1:37 PM
Sorry, but all the true Christians were Raptured about three months back.When I say "all", I mean "both". It turns out that, out of the whole Christian population, only two of them were actually following Christ's principles - one old spinster from Ireland, and some guy from Uganda of all places. I hope they get on well - it's going to be a very long eternity for them if they don't.
Posted by: MikeS | September 20, 2009 1:39 PM
What I like is a link, near the top of the page, to a video labeled "Why the Rapture date is called the day that no man knows the day or the hour!", after which he proceeds to calculate the exact date.
Posted by: David W | September 20, 2009 1:42 PM
Lovely Jubillees?
(Only the Brits will get that, I suspect.)
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | September 20, 2009 1:44 PM
It will end four days before class starts? Sounds to good to be true.
Posted by: cag | September 20, 2009 1:46 PM
I'm afraid that you all are misunderstanding. The site is actually typing in TONGUES. As a self-professed expert in interpreting tongue, let me enlighten you to the true message,
Posted by: ed | September 20, 2009 1:50 PM
I think the designer of that website was on drugs.Acid!
Posted by: ThirtyFiveUp | September 20, 2009 1:56 PM
This is too difficult for Mark Chu-Carroll at Good Math, Bad Math.
http://scienceblogs.com/goodmath/?utm_source=bloglist&utm_medium=dropdown
He will claim that he cannot decipher it because he is on vacation, but do not believe that.
Maybe Ethan Siegal of Starts with a Bang has the mojo.
http://scienceblogs.com/startswithabang/?utm_source=bloglist&utm_medium=dropdown
Posted by: Tim H | September 20, 2009 2:04 PM
That's disgusting. Didn't your mother ever tell you to always be sure you're wearing clean underwear just in case the world ends?
Posted by: Owlmirror | September 20, 2009 2:04 PM
Jerusalem is UTC+2
(Or Greenwich/UTC is {Jerusalem Time} - 2)
Although I note that Israel is currently on summer time (DST), which does not end there until 2009-09-27 [09/27 is only this year -- the DST change goes by both English and Hebrew calendar, for greater temporal confusion ], so it's currently UTC+3.
Posted by: Savaga | September 20, 2009 2:07 PM
What's the Y-axis supposed to represent? Voltage? Force? Partial pressure of Argon in the Earth's atmosphere? Number of times Jebus has appeared on burnt toast? Number of sharks off the coast of Japan?
If they were in school and this were a report of some kind, they would have failed miserably.
Posted by: Feliz | September 20, 2009 2:07 PM
Woohoo!I've been waiting for the rapture for awhile now, I could use a nicer car and possibly a house with a swimming pool/jacuzzi set up. Not to mention a world without all the annoying fundys. Just keep your eyes peeled on the roads tomorrow, with people disappearing straight out of the drivers' seats, it could get dangerous.
Posted by: Perplexed | September 20, 2009 2:08 PM
Owlmirror,
Great that means it's even less than I thought best be off to the pub then.
Posted by: Kevin Fairchild | September 20, 2009 2:08 PM
I think this is only about 0.8 Time Cube. The sentences are reasonably well-formed, and there's very little insulting or swearing.
My favorite part might have been the "lunar eclipse over Jerusalem". Because lunar eclipses only happen over a certain spot, right, not *the whole hemisphere*, right?
Posted by: John Marley | September 20, 2009 2:11 PM
Damn, when I first saw that image I was hoping for a thesis on the Wave-Harmonic Theory of Historic Perception.
That would have been way more interesting. Does anyone have a link for the University of Maximegalon?
Posted by: Pattanowski | September 20, 2009 2:13 PM
I'll be on the next flight to Jerusalem with a list of questions for Jesus and his cronies. Number one; why did you have to curse all the animals and plants because of what humans did? After all, humans were the ones made in "YOUR image", you FREAK(s)!!
Posted by: Eleanor from Wisconsin | September 20, 2009 2:13 PM
Well I was going to make some hilarious comment about at least I won't die a virgin, but then I realized that it's actually the rapture coming up, so I have seven whole more years in which to die EVEN LESS of a virgin. Seven years in which the prudish segment of the population is severely diminished, for that matter.
Posted by: frozen_midwest | September 20, 2009 2:13 PM
OK, so I clicked on the link. While I 'admire' the effort he took with all those uppercase letters and various colored backgrounds, I fell he really should have thrown in a few blinking parts as well. Nothing says 'This is important' quite like blinking text.
Posted by: Flea | September 20, 2009 2:15 PM
This is the real Gawd or just Joe Pesci?
Posted by: Lurky | September 20, 2009 2:16 PM
Now THIS is timecube worthy!
Posted by: Strider | September 20, 2009 2:16 PM
Oh, COME ON! The "House" season premiere is supposed to air tomorrow! TWO HOURS of "House"!!! Couldn't it wait 'til 22 Sept?!
Posted by: Ryk | September 20, 2009 2:17 PM
I make a point of getting very drunk and banging hookers whenever the world is supposed to end. You know...just in case. It's a rough life.
Posted by: Didac
|
September 20, 2009 2:18 PM
I have two news to tell you. One is bad, but the other is worst. Which of them do you want me to tell you the first? The bad one? Ok. The bad news is that the world is going to end tomorrow. And the worst one? Well, the worst one is that I've forgot to tell you the first news yesterday.
Posted by: Stretch | September 20, 2009 2:18 PM
I'll take him at his word. If the world is still here on Sept. 23, it is proved that the christian god is a fiction.
The FSM is going to demand GREAT penance.
Posted by: Amanda | September 20, 2009 2:20 PM
How do people honestly believe in the concept of rapture?
Furthermore, why am I asking when none of us will ever know the answers to why the believe such nonsense? Haha.
That website really is a mistake to visit. It's messy and bright. I feel nauseated.
Posted by: davem | September 20, 2009 2:20 PM
That's epic maths fail. Surely a Poe?
Posted by: Mike Wagner | September 20, 2009 2:21 PM
Go Rapture!
Christians can go to heaven, and their big screen TV and home theater system can go to me!
It's a win-win!
Posted by: Thedepressingstatistician | September 20, 2009 2:23 PM
Just differentiate the bloody thing and stop worrying.
It'll flip it over.
Problem solved.
Posted by: TheDefenestrator | September 20, 2009 2:24 PM
Did anyone else get to the page where he claims that the trading card game "Illuminati: New World Order" predicts the future?
Posted by: biff3000 | September 20, 2009 2:25 PM
You know what the worst part of that page is?
There's a link at the bottom that says NEXT!!!
That's right, 500 pages of screaming lunacy JUST WASN'T ENOUGH! There's MORE!!!!
Posted by: Patricia, Ignorant Slut, OM | September 20, 2009 2:26 PM
When Smoggy gets raptured away our souls will be in peril again. How sad for him to have to go and report to the lawd that he didn't win over one convert.
Bye, bye Smoggy!
Posted by: mikespeir | September 20, 2009 2:27 PM
Eat, drink, and be merry--so at least we'll have some fun memories while roasting in Hell.
Posted by: Crewvy
|
September 20, 2009 2:28 PM
Well its already the 21st here in NZ ,should I bother going to work this morning?
Praise be to zeus ,but I `ve never understood any form of mathematics so I guess the rapture may just pass me by.
Posted by: Dahan | September 20, 2009 2:33 PM
Well PZ, at least your wife's in town, right? Mine's 800 miles away and while phone sex can be fun...
Posted by: mikespeir | September 20, 2009 2:34 PM
So, Dr. Azzacove drilled a hole and found the temperature inside the Earth to be 2000 degrees. Then he lowered a microphone and heard human voices screaming....
Must've been one helluva microphone!
Posted by: Patricia, Ignorant Slut, OM | September 20, 2009 2:36 PM
Crewvy - Did you look outside to watch Smoggy ascending into heaven?
Posted by: Didac
|
September 20, 2009 2:37 PM
Well, at least according to this webpage the Earth has been destroyed. Sorry, for you, earthlings.
Posted by: Pareidolius | September 20, 2009 2:39 PM
Time WAVE? Time CUBE?
Pretty colors and LOTS OF CAPS?
MORE THAN A COINCIDENCE?
I, for one, am spending the rest of the day drinking Earl Gray while wearing nothing but a tutu, a viking helmet and English riding boots. Come n' get me Jeebus I'm a-ready!
Posted by: PeterC | September 20, 2009 2:40 PM
You know, reading this, I wonder if that is what others feel when confronted with a well educated, thought provoking graph, that actually, you know, has labels on its axis.
Recently, a study was reported in Canada where it was estimated that 45% of Canadians have sub-functional literacy. Sub-functional being defined as not being able to read the dosage information on a package of cold medicine.
If what I felt after looking at that graph is anything like what they go through every day... OMG, no wonder they are so angry at people who are thoughtful, well read, and have things like facts on their side!
Too scary.
Posted by: Vito T | September 20, 2009 2:42 PM
That website has half a million hits. Wow.
Posted by: Kaptain Karnage | September 20, 2009 2:42 PM
Damn, as long as the person(s) responsible for the design of that site get to be raptured as well? Need to go find some analgesia and alcohol now to repair my poor damaged visual cortex. That web site is like the interweb version of agent-orange :-(
Posted by: nptphotoguy | September 20, 2009 2:45 PM
Silly People. According to octogenarian cult leader Harold Camping of Family Radio, the rapture will take place May 21, 2011. Now there's a man who know his biblical math. Whew!! We get a little more time.
Posted by: Didac
|
September 20, 2009 2:45 PM
Well, probably enough when you check this webpage Tuesday, you will find some changer. Or, perhaps, you can find that Rapture has taken place, and some of the just ones (numbering = 0) have been raptured. As a matter of fact, there are times when I'm ponderng about if this world is not really the hell of a previous world.
Posted by: Owlmirror | September 20, 2009 2:48 PM
Am I really the first to say:
"MY EYES!!! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!!!
copied for the lulz:
DNA/SF FAIL.
Wait, whut? SAN CHECK FAIL.
Posted by: Jerry | September 20, 2009 2:54 PM
Now it all makes sense!
Where has this graph been? To think that I've wasted my life in sin, that I never would have become a doubter, if only I had known that there was so little time! They've been talking about the end times for centuries now, how was I supposed to know it would come in my poor pitiful lifetime?
Fagimme, fagimme, Lawd, I admit I sinned, fucked too many women, killed all those people, double-dipped in the fondue bowl. Please take me! I'm unemployed anyway.
Posted by: btj | September 20, 2009 2:58 PM
You're confusing the Rapture with "the end of the world." IMHO, if all the fundies disappear tomorrow to a magical world where they can bask in the glow of Jeebus and leave the rest of us alone, that's hardly the end of the world! Talk about win/win.
Posted by: John Squire | September 20, 2009 2:58 PM
A little Googling reveals that the Time-Wave graph was created by an adjunct instructor in the Department of Physics at Elon University.
http://web.mac.com/emurray49/Site/Introduction.html
Posted by: Aunrd | September 20, 2009 3:01 PM
You warned me; and you know what? I stared at that graph for too many minutes. What's the point of the wave?
Posted by: DaveH | September 20, 2009 3:03 PM
Yay! Monday is a holiday in Edinburgh!
Posted by: James Brown | September 20, 2009 3:03 PM
Will there be a way we can laugh and point at this guy tomorrow. I would like to humiliate him as best I can by telling him to his face what a fool he is.
Do we have a concerted plan to 'kick sand' in his face.
Posted by: gypsytag | September 20, 2009 3:03 PM
its the end of the world as we know, and me with nothing to wear..
Posted by: Greg Laden
|
September 20, 2009 3:05 PM
When I look at that cloud ... the mushroom cloud on the Rapture site ... I see strange things. Strange, strange things.
Posted by: chrisD | September 20, 2009 3:07 PM
Well, none of the raptures or world endings can be correct, I asked a Ouija board how old I'll be when I die and it said 81. And if dead people don't get to know the whole truth, then I'm just not going to die! Screw that! If all my questions aren't answered upon dying, then there's no point of it, therefore I'll just live forever, tyvm!
Posted by: Gecko
|
September 20, 2009 3:08 PM
Darn, guess that I means I'm out of another birthday (29th of September)
Posted by: Dan | September 20, 2009 3:19 PM
I like that there is a form for your credit card info on page two.
Posted by: Didac
|
September 20, 2009 3:20 PM
#107. Yeah, indeed! What's the sense of a graph if he forgets to tell us which parameter is measured in y axis? Perhaps it is "Creation energy" or "salvific force".
Posted by: AJ Milne | September 20, 2009 3:24 PM
Man. Not again! Didn't this happen at the end of last season, too?
Fuck. And I just swept this place. I mean, this must be the third apocal... erm...
Apoxellipsis?... Apothecary?... A pox on y'all?...
(/I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse... And I'm just gonna assume I don't have to give the cite for that, here, of all places.)
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
|
September 20, 2009 3:26 PM
Well, at least I'll be able to enjoy the weather and have sex with my robot a few more times before the end. I'll see you at the park!
Posted by: Geo | September 20, 2009 3:27 PM
Hmmm... which infallible interpretation to believe. It would seem we have until May 2011, http://familyradio.com/.
Posted by: Ichthyic | September 20, 2009 3:27 PM
Well, in the world of tomorrow in which I currently find myself, it IS sept. 21...
*looks out window*
beautiful spring day for the end of world.
Posted by: Xenithrys | September 20, 2009 3:29 PM
Hey! Why hasn't Smoggy posted yet? Now I'm starting to worry! Smoggyyyyyyyyy!
Posted by: Tamar | September 20, 2009 3:31 PM
"IN SUMMARY, I believe that The Rapture will take place at 12am Tuesday (midnight) September 22, 2009 (Jerusalem Time), and after The Last Trump of Rosh Hashanah is blown!"
I hate to ruin it to everybody, but, ehm, Rosh Hashana already ended... The last day was today (20st), and the day (and the holyday), in the Jewish tradition ends at sunset, not midnight... the Last Trump of Rosh Hashana has already been blown.
Posted by: Richard Harris | September 20, 2009 3:32 PM
PeterC #98 Recently, a study was reported in Canada where it was estimated that 45% of Canadians have sub-functional literacy. Sub-functional being defined as not being able to read the dosage information on a package of cold medicine.
On BBC Radio 4's religious affairs program "Sunday" this morning, it was reported that nearly half the British believe in angels. Being myself both Canadian & British, i'm intrigued that these statistics indicate that the level of ignorance & stupidity in Canada is about the same as that in the UK, which matches my own observations.
But I bet that they forgot to allow for the adoption of the Gregorian calendar, in which case the Rapture won't happen until October, so we've got a week & a half to sin like crazy, just to make sure that we avoid the feckin' Christians & an eternity of their company.
Posted by: Nemo | September 20, 2009 3:33 PM
They actually say "before September 23rd", so we may have to wait until the 24th to really see them start to backpedal. They tried to cover themselves via liberal use of question marks, too.
They're also 2012ers. I'd like to say that I can't wait until 2013 arrives with the world intact, but the truth is that these people never seem to learn. It's just one Great Disappointment after another, but they won't give up the idea: "Next time... for sure!"
Posted by: Madhatters | September 20, 2009 3:38 PM
Did you notice, about half way down, there is a sign up form? They want to "E-mail YOU our NEWSLETTER,GIVE YOU A FREE VACATION,(3-days, 2-nights)AND SEND YOU SOME MORE FREE STUFF!" And, all of the signup form's credit card information fields are a "required field."
This is a definitely a phishing scam.
Posted by: BobbyEarle | September 20, 2009 3:39 PM
I am pissed: Cal did not cover the spread (Sorry, PZ...Minnesota lost the game, but they DID get the money!).
If the Rupture is on for Monday, I guess a 2 team parlay is out of the question.
I wonder what the over/under is for the Rupture...
Posted by: Krystalline Apostate | September 20, 2009 3:43 PM
skepsci @ 30:
Apparently from Isaac Newton's liberal interpretation of the book of daniel.
Posted by: adagio | September 20, 2009 3:43 PM
Since tomorrow is the big day, are any Pharyngula fans up for a spa party? I'm willing to bring candles, assorted oils and a massage table. Maybe Patricia, OM could bring her spanking couch and we could convert it to a massage table for the naughty!
Posted by: Major Kong | September 20, 2009 3:46 PM
When somebody tries to convince me that the end of the world is imminent I always ask if I can have their 401k, since they presumably won't be needing it.
So far haven't met any willing to put their money where their mouth is.
Posted by: Cat | September 20, 2009 3:49 PM
About a quarter of the way down the page it says Sept 23, 2009 is the end. So which is it, the 21st or the 23rd? I need to know so I can have enough supplies for the party!
Posted by: tnprimate | September 20, 2009 3:49 PM
yay. my birthday is the rapture!! i knew i was put on earth for a great purpose...i just didn't realize it would be to rule the heathens once we get rid of the moral police!
Posted by: max | September 20, 2009 3:51 PM
Had to ask, whats with "... Second, we will be raptured to Heaven as Jesus’ Bride "
Posted by: Eamon Knight | September 20, 2009 3:51 PM
By the way, we really need to check that web page again on 22 September. Remind me.
Seconded. I remember back in September '94, some follower of Harold Camping managed to keep making excuses and setting new dates right up until Easter of the following year. The best part was he left the old pages up while he kept adding new ones, so there was this whole cyber-trail of failed predictions, that collectively said: "I'M A FRACKING IDIOT!!!"
This could be the source of much entertainment.
Posted by: Bride of Shrek OM | September 20, 2009 4:00 PM
Well, it's 5:30 am on the 21st here and I'm still sitting on the planet.(unless of course I HAVE been raptured and heaven is just a perfect replica of my house. In which case I'm still not doing the fucking vaccuuming).
Guess I must not be a good enough Christian (TM). For that matter the garbageman apparently isn't a christian either cause he just emptied my wheelie bin. I always suspected that about him- he's got shifty eyes.
Posted by: Sam C | September 20, 2009 4:03 PM
People ask why is it a sine wave? Simpulls, folkens.
It's a SIGN WAVE!
There's some more interesting cow-pat mathematical wizardry in this polychromatic dungheap of inanity and insanity - apparently it's astronomically unlikely that anybody human could make so many accurate predictions, so they must be made by god herself! And we know these predictions are accurate because they're made by god! Praise bees!
Posted by: nobuddy | September 20, 2009 4:07 PM
After staring into the dark underbelly of humanity (and getting a musty substance on our nose), it can be refreshing to see what young bright kids armed with Science! can do:
High School Students in Obama, Japan turn invasive giant Echizen jellies into raw caramel candy.
Finally! An industrial application for sea monsters. (Elder gods beware...)
Posted by: anonymoose | September 20, 2009 4:09 PM
and all this time i thought cthulhu would have the last word!
Posted by: carlos aegan
|
September 20, 2009 4:10 PM
did anyone else notice that the "7-year tribulation" starts in "Fall 2009" and ends at the "end of 2015" ?
last i checked, 2015.75 (lets say it's in the fall) - 2009.75 (now) = 6 years (...which is not 7)
...unless the normal logic of math is also raptured-up after Sept 21...
i'm glad i skipped partying last night; now i'm fresh for TONIGHT!
Posted by: Wayne Robinson | September 20, 2009 4:11 PM
The 21st? But that's today. I had a look at the web site. So much red and yellow highlighted text so early in the morning hurt my eyes. I notice that drought in Australia is one of the signs of the End Times. I better go and put on my raincoat and take the dog for his morning walk (it has been raining all night, unseasonally)..
Posted by: RamziD | September 20, 2009 4:17 PM
Crap..I live in Phoenix and that's where a nuclear attack is certainly going to happen according to this site! Anyone in the area have a nuclear bomb shelter that I can use? I'll bring the beer and Doritos. Oh, and the bacon.
Posted by: astrounit | September 20, 2009 4:20 PM
Perhaps this was the motivation behind the "doctor" in Germany who "administered drugs" to his "therapy group"...in the same building where his wife runs a "practice for alternative medicine". On his website the "doctor" identifies himself as a psychotherapist for individuals and groups, specializing in "depth psychology, bodywork and art therapy, and spiritual crises."
Two dead, so far.
You know, the early bird catches the worm.
Posted by: Sara | September 20, 2009 4:25 PM
Is the little comic shop in the strip mall by the movie theater gone? Cause they used to sell porn if you asked nicely and looked cool. Stupid blue laws keeping you from going into the rapture smashed.
Posted by: Daniel Richards | September 20, 2009 4:26 PM
Oh no! It's the 21st here in New Zealand, oh wait, the world hasn't ended yet.
Don't worry PZ, i'll get you the lotto numbers too..
Posted by: Wayfarer | September 20, 2009 4:36 PM
To think that Ametricans have access to nuclear weapons scare the living day lights out of me.How long before someone like this is in the position to push the button.The question is not whether or not he would push but how quickly he would do it
Posted by: Knockgoats | September 20, 2009 4:38 PM
Does anyone have a link for the University of Maximegalon? - John Marley@74
Can't find a website for the u. of Maximegalon, but see the last line of the page this links to!
http://users.aber.ac.uk/jhw/Research.htmlPosted by: Carol Blanchard | September 20, 2009 4:44 PM
I don't want to get all technical about this BUT... As an Ex-Christian I must point out that the living breathing word of GOD, says that "no man knoweth the day or hour" that these events will take place, and If you can't rely on the veracity of the Bible, what the F*&K can you rely on?????
Oh yeah.......PZ!!!!!
Posted by: Tamar | September 20, 2009 4:48 PM
@ 135:
Obama, Japan? seriously?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
September 20, 2009 4:52 PM
So Carol #145, should we change our money to say "In PZ we Trust"? I could back that idea...
Posted by: Feynmaniac | September 20, 2009 4:52 PM
-88 reasons Why The Rapture Will Be in 1988
-FSTDT:
Note: The domain 2007rapture.com now appears to be up for sale.
-Unfulfilled religious predictions
Tsk, tsk, tsk...as an unbeliever I shouldn't be telling you Christians how prophecies work. You need to make your predictions vague, open ended, and statistically likely. Like, a mustached man will do a lot of harm fairly soon. There are a lot of crazy dictators and madmen who will commit atrocities in the near future. One of them is bound to have a mustache. When that happens....bam... I become a prophet. You can also make your prophecies so insane that no one will understand it, let alone criticize it (see Book of Revelation).
Some people are gonna feel real stupid when 2013 rolls around.
Posted by: mikespeir | September 20, 2009 4:53 PM
"Darn, guess that I means I'm out of another birthday (29th of September)"
You and me both, Gecko. Mine's the 26th.
Posted by: ollie | September 20, 2009 5:00 PM
Did you notice that there is a copyright on this "figure"?
Why anyone would copyright this is beyond me. :)
Posted by: David Richardson | September 20, 2009 5:03 PM
There was a great sketch of the end of world at the Secret Policeman's Ball, with Peter Cook as the guru. My favourite bit was when Rowan Atkinson, the acolyte, asks, "Will this wind be so mighty as to lay down the mountains of the earth?" to which the reply is, "Of course it won't you stupid git, which is why we came up on this mountain in the first place".
It ends, of course, with "Same time next week, then?"
Posted by: nobuddy | September 20, 2009 5:03 PM
Read it and weep, o ye of little faith!
Wikipedia: Obama City, Fukui Pref., Japan
It used to be a major port!
Posted by: Recently Deprogrammed | September 20, 2009 5:04 PM
Oh well, I wasn't doing anything tomorrow anyway.
Posted by: Creature of the Universe | September 20, 2009 5:09 PM
HOLY CONVOLUTED DESTRUCTION!!
But something don't jive...the rapture index is down -2!!
http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html
Posted by: Phledge | September 20, 2009 5:10 PM
I...erm...WTF is a "jubilee?"
Posted by: W. H. Heydt | September 20, 2009 5:17 PM
He's not calculating what he thinks he is... Sept. 22 is Bilbo & Frodo's birthday.
Posted by: fireweaver | September 20, 2009 5:24 PM
StandardCurve #44:
Since you mentioned helium tanks and sex dolls, perhaps you have read
this story at some time.
"Mistaken Rapture Kills Arkansas Woman" -
http://www.elroysemporium.com/news/rapturetalk.html
The funny thing is that the Weekly World News and Wingnut Daily picked
up on it as if it were actual fact!!! :D :D
============
Amanda #84:
"That website really is a mistake to visit. It's messy and bright. I
feel nauseated."
But children like bright and messy things. :D
============
Didac #115:
"Yeah, indeed! What's the sense of a graph if he forgets to tell us
which parameter is measured in y axis? Perhaps it is 'Creation energy'
or 'salvific force'"
How about Bovine Feces level?
Posted by: Brian English | September 20, 2009 5:25 PM
What time on the 21st does the world end? It's about 7:30 am here on the 21st and looks like another nice spring morning. When should I expect the 4 horseman? Do they like tea or coffee with their toast?
Posted by: Lynna | September 20, 2009 5:25 PM
Anyone who's read Tolkien knows that this indicates that a woman will knoweth the day and the hour.Posted by: eddie | September 20, 2009 5:26 PM
eid hussein mubarak obama ->n; armagideon
yup. That's who has brought about the e.o.t.w
hehe
Posted by: Darkumbra | September 20, 2009 5:28 PM
It is becoming obvious that the US is suffering from a severe Lithium shortage. I strongly suggest that the world take up a collection before they do something stupid.
Posted by: Agentsarahjane | September 20, 2009 5:33 PM
Hi ... I’m an occasional reader, a first time commenter, but a fan nonetheless, just wanted to interject here
I heard of a pet care service that will provide confirmed atheists to care for pets of born again Christians if the rapture takes place. I have some mixed feeling about taking advantage of the gullible but there's always a chance I can be wrong ^_^ Here’s the link
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html
Posted by: Alienheart | September 20, 2009 5:39 PM
Speaking as both a Mlitant Atheist(tm) and a web developer, may I first say: WTF!?
I tried reading it as it was, but failed. Then I tried reading it with fonts and colours turned off, but no, still I failed. But then i made the mistake of reading the html source code. Now that is headache inducing!
As this cannot be a Poe (it's simply impossible for any reasonable person(s) to create this monstrosity without going insane in the process), could someone please point him/them in the direction of the asylum, and then apply an appropriate amount of g-forces to the disk it's stored on so the rest of us can get back to our blaspheming ways?
Posted by: ancientTechie | September 20, 2009 5:42 PM
I'm too tired to frolic. I think I'll just have some good pasta.
Posted by: Tyrone Slothrop | September 20, 2009 5:42 PM
TheDefenestrator #88,
Ooooooh yes, did I notice it! I'm gonna send that link to the guys I used to play INWO with. We had already noticed the 'Terrorist Nuke' and 'Pentagon' cards, of course, and had some good but hollow and yesyes even slightly-freaked-out laughs over them, but the story of the raid on SJ games was new to me.
A-and the wingnuts take it seriously! I love that inverted reasoning: card says terrorist nuke, this does not mean that card is wrong after all but that nuclear device was used.
Their insanity never ceases to amaze me.
Posted by: Stardrake | September 20, 2009 5:47 PM
David Richardson @151:
"It was GMT, wasn't it?"
The "End Of The World" sketch actually predates THE SECRET POLICEMEN'S BALL by many years--it was written for the original BEYOND THE FRINGE revue (with Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Jonathan Miller, and Alan Bennett) in 1962!
Some things never change....
Posted by: Olowkow | September 20, 2009 5:51 PM
No one noticed "wavelenght".
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
September 20, 2009 5:56 PM
We have a bad infestation of typo cooties at this site. So we have learned to read the intent.Posted by: XD | September 20, 2009 5:58 PM
What?! I've only just got back from the pub. You mean I have to go back out again? Flipin' heck.Posted by: PFLiley | September 20, 2009 6:05 PM
Adagio @127,
Spa party? I'll bring the chocolate and strawberries!
Posted by: Aquaria | September 20, 2009 6:06 PM
It can't be the End of the World. Everyone knows that will happen when the SF Giants win the World Series. I mean, what more sign did they need that it wasn't meant to be than that earthquake in the 89 series?
QED
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OMAscending | September 20, 2009 6:08 PM
Dear Damned, Doomed Atheists,
This is Smoggy Batzrubble reporting to you live from the first place in the World to experience THE RAPTURE. I alone can tell you what your tomorrow (the last one you'll ever have) is going to be like. The Lord's coming is imminent! Prepare your souls! Shortly He will appear in His power and glory to take us unto His bosom.
With me I have my sheep, my wives, my children and my Christian brother Floyd Rubber (oh...and with Floyd Rubber there are at least a dozen dozen rent-boys. I can confirm that as I witness this historic occasion the world's last and greatest orgy is also in progress).
The place I'm writing to you from is Noo Zillund's central plateau--a beautiful barren plain, testament to the eruptive power of one of the earth's great super-volcanoes, which last blew...er...um...well...the date's in dispute actually, but it can't have been more than six thousand years ago, whatever they say.
Anyway, it is the morning of Monday 21 September, and an eerie red dawn light sets the clumps of tussock grass in ominous silhouette as the earth experiences its last sunrise. I wait in awe, knowing that within moments my Savior Jesus will walk over the horizon to take us to him. YES! He is God's Sword of Righteousness, come to RAPTURE us to Heaven, and send all the rest of you evildoers to Hell and an eternity of suffering. Praise His loving and Holy name!!
Wait...something is happening... I see a vision. Atheists! Be warned! Repent! It is your last chance!
Here is Jesus...
He's walking over the hill towards me...
He's silhouetted against the blazing sky...
He's coming to take me to Him
['A-aamazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch li-ii-ke meeeee!!!]
Wait there atheists...
I'm going to interview Jesus...
[Floyd! Floyd! Ferfucksake stop that, Jesus is here!]
SB: [running frantically towards Jesus] Jesus! Jesus! Praise your name! You've come for us as Your Sacred Website predicted!
JESUS: Who the fuck are you? What are you doing on my farm?
SB: Jesus, it's me, Smoggy. We're waiting for the Rapture!
JESUS: Raptor? What raptor? There's a few hawk's around, and the bloody keas have been having a go at the sheep. But what's the big deal?
SB: We want to come with you to Heaven!
JESUS: Heaven? I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not going anywhere, I've only just got back from Wellington. I went to see the rugby test--the All Blacks thrashed the Wallabies. Bloody good, eh?
SB: Dear Jesus, You're as confusing as ever. And aren't you supposed to have a two-edged sword sticking out of your mouth?
JESUS: Sword? No swords here, mate. Oy! Whose that huge fat fellah with no clothes on? It's a bit bloody nippy to be parading around in that sort of get-up. Crikey though, he's got knacker's on him like a stud bull. And look at his whanger--he's hung like a butcher's shop!
SB: You mean, you're not Jesus?
NOT JESUS: Nah, mate, I'm Bob Dagg. I farm here. Don't know of any Jesus hereabouts, but I can ask around.
SB: So you haven't heard that the second coming is scheduled for today?
BOB DAGG: Nah, sorry mate. The forecast's for pretty good weather. A bit of frost, that's all. Say...I don't suppose you and your mates would like to come on up to the house for a spot of brekky, would ya? Only, the missus is still down in Wellington, and I wouldn't mind having a go at some of those things that fat fellah's up to.
SB: [Sigh] Yeah, sure. Anything to distract him. Floyd's going to be pretty pissed when he discovers the Rapture isn't today after he sold everything he had and spent all his money partying with 144 male whores.
[So there you have it atheists. God's will is perfect, just a small calculation error on my part. The Rapture will happen soon, I just need to pray harder. Now, if you'll excuse me...]
Floyd! Floyd! Jesus has just sent me a new prophecy telling me there's been a brief postponement...
Now stay calm Floyd...
Don't do anything you'll regret...
Floyd! Put that sheep down!
Posted by: DiscoveredJoys | September 20, 2009 6:09 PM
I was surprised to find that the first kiss I exchanged with (the then future) Mrs DiscoveredJoys was not mentioned on the website. After all it was on Queen Elizabeth's Silver Jubilee - surely a significant date?
Especially as the web site mentioned Newton, the planetary alignments, Bible codes, Jewish Holidays, wars, moon phases, New World Order, blood red moons, calendar calculations, graphs, solar cycles, earthquakes, tsunamis, destruction of the World Trade Center, Obama riding a white horse, the Antichrist (also Obama), promotion of homosexuality, the Arithmetic of God (answer: 42, no really), creation of the modern state of Israel, and of course, scripture (interpreted this way, that way, whichever).
There could be a simpler explanation - the people who write all this stuff are bat-shit crazy. But not Mrs DiscoveredJoys, of course.
Posted by: Sarah | September 20, 2009 6:10 PM
I surfed a little on that website and had a few laughs, but man is it ugly! The crazies really are incapable of developing a website that doesn't hurt your eyes.
I found this little nugget:
http://www.unleavenedbreadministries.org/?page=presidenthillary
Hillary's gonna be Prez in 2010 and welcome the anti-christ. Like anyone with an unhealthy fixation on another person, they just can't let go of her and accept reality. She even appears in their dreams! ^_^
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | September 20, 2009 6:11 PM
Yeah, and they put Google ads right here on Pharyngula all the fucking time. Right here, right now, in the right sidebar:
...then his peculiarly smiling face, and then...
Liar. It's been 6,012 years.
Not "short". "Tiny".
ROTFL!!!
All the grand scheme this madman calculated... and then... collision with the real world. I can almost hear it. :-D :-D :-D
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood | September 20, 2009 6:18 PM
Feynmaniac @ 148;
"Tsk, tsk, tsk...as an unbeliever I shouldn't be telling you Christians how prophecies work. You need to make your predictions vague, open ended, and statistically likely. Like, a mustached man will do a lot of harm fairly soon. There are a lot of crazy dictators and madmen who will commit atrocities in the near future. One of them is bound to have a mustache. When that happens....bam... I become a prophet. You can also make your prophecies so insane that no one will understand it, let alone criticize it (see Book of Revelation).
Some people are gonna feel real stupid when 2013 rolls around."
I completely agree with you on this one, Feynmaniac. The 'Apocalypse Now' brand of fundie doers not seem capable of learning. They keep making predictions that armageddon is completely, absolutely, immutably pre-ordained to occur on a specific date, often at a specific time. They tell everyone to repent and often gloatingly inform anyone who does not believe as they believe or who does not belong to an arbitrary grouping labelled as 'elect' that they have just been handed a one way express ticket to the hot place.
The selected date is usually a few years off when the initial prediction is made. The prophet of doom rants on inanely in the intervening years until the day in question rolls around. Then, shockingly, nothing happens. Nowt. Nadda. Zip. No cigar. Ragnorak does not come to pass (which doubtless puts Thor in a really bad mood).
The formerly vocal doom-monger vanishes like the morning mist whilst offering no explanation or apology for the fact that the world inconsiderately failed to end on schedule.
But lo. A little while later the same inveterate liar pops up once again claiming that the end is nigh. While most people ignore the nut, he (or she) still has little difficulty finding morons prepared to believe their claptrap.
And so the cycle of idiocy goes on.
You would think that after dozens of false starts on the whole 'End of the World' thing the fundies would have wised up by now. Trouble is, that would require a modicum of intelligence. An asset that xians have in precious short supply. They have to use most of theirs just to remember to keep breathing. It wouldn't do to die before the rapture (especially when we are already living in the end times), afterall.
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
September 20, 2009 6:19 PM
I hate you. I still haven't even gotten through Season 5, and you're teasing with 2-hr season premieres I won't be able to watch until next fall, when it becomes available on Netflix. My burning love for Dr. House is not quite strong enough to overcome my aversion to having another time-and-money-sucking piece of electronics in my home.
Posted by: XD | September 20, 2009 6:20 PM
Michael Murray's site makes timecube.com look almost scholarly in comparison (and I never thought I would have cause to say that)!
Posted by: Pastor Billy R. Gibson | September 20, 2009 6:20 PM
This is ridiculous. No one can predict when the rapture will be. The Bible says that only God knows when. Man doesn't know, the angels don't know, even Jesus doesn't know:
Mark 13:32 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.
Posted by: Sunny Ng | September 20, 2009 6:24 PM
No!! I'm so close to Halo 3: ODST!!!
Posted by: Standard Curve
|
September 20, 2009 6:26 PM
Fireweaver:
I hadn't seen that article, I had only watched the episode of Six Feet Under where they use that idea as the shows "opening fatality," which was hilarious.
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus | September 20, 2009 6:27 PM
Dear Brother Pastor Bill R. Graham @ 179
At least you agree with me that the Rapture will still happen. Thank you for your Godly affirmation.
Would you mind if I sent my friend Floyd Rubber to you for a second opinion? He is extremely angry at the moment and is telling everyone that prophecies of Christ's second coming are really the figments of sick and deluded imaginations and that he'll beat the crap out of anyone who mentions the word 'Rapture' ever again.
Your Christian support would mean a lot to me,
Your Brother in Christ
Smoggy Batzrubble
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood | September 20, 2009 6:29 PM
Lynna @159;
"no man knoweth the day or hour"
Anyone who's read Tolkien knows that this indicates that a woman will knoweth the day and the hour. "
Or it could be an intersex individual. What about a post-operative trans-sexual? Would they count?
Basically, everyone knows the ordained time for the end of the world but us blokes.
It's sexist I tells ya!
Posted by: Arthur Martin | September 20, 2009 6:30 PM
Glad I didn't pay my bills this month.
At least we won't have to worry about the horrors predicted by Lou Engels below. Can anyone actually believe the shit these people come up with?
Subject: Urgent Call to Prayer: Signs of the Times
Urgent Call to Prayer: Signs of the Times
Convergence
It is critical that the church in America understands the times and what needs to be done now. The natural things speak of the invisible. Natural happenings on the earth are revealing something that is going on in the spiritual realm. There is a great spiritual conflict with a rising tide of Islamic boldness being manifested. Several happenings are converging this week. First of all, our President has recently proclaimed, honored, encouraged the Muslim holy days of prayer and fasting called Ramadan. He was very silent on the National Day of Prayer but very vocal on the support of Ramadan. Interestingly at the same time a major Christian leader of the Emergent Church called for forty days of fasting and prayer in the same Ramadan period with the goal that the church will better understand our Muslim friends. We are all for underst anding but we must have spiritual discernment as to the spiritual dark powers that are being invoked into our nation.
Cause for Concern
At the same time, on the 25th of September, Muslims are calling for a Muslim Day of Prayer in Washington DC (http://www.islamoncapitolhill.com/). They are calling for 50,000 Muslims to gather and pray on the DC Mall. This is the exact word of one of the Sheikhs who is leading this historic gathering, “Muslims should march on the White House. We are going to the White House so that Islam will be victorious, Allah willing, and the White House will become into a Muslim house.” These are not empty words. They speak of a dark spiritual intent and a coming day of great trouble to America.
A Divine Moment
Now one of these events is enough to awaken us to this significant throbbing moment, but when they all converge it becomes a massive spiritual alarm that must be responded to by the praying Church. However, I believe in this moment of divine providence God has raised up on the stage of history a little “Esther” that if we pray and fast for her she could be a major voice to expose the dark under-belly of Islam and radiate a bright hope for a day of salvation for Muslims in America.
Headlines
On Monday, Rifqa Bary, a young 17-year-old woman, will20be in the headlines of US news. Four years ago, while living in a very devout and radical Muslim home, Rifqa met Jesus in a powerful way as her savior. She hid her conversion, began praying secretly, and began hiding her bible from her parents. Then, on Facebook, her love for Jesus was exposed to the radical Muslim community in Ohio. Rifqa’s father demanded that she renounce Jesus or he would kill her as is commanded by the Koran. As a radiant believer in Jesus she refused to renounce her Lord and fled to Orlando where she was taken in and cared for by a Christian Church and family. Now, the father is appealing to the courts to bring her back under his custody. Major television networks have already covered her story. How must the Church of America respond in this moment for our sister who is a part of the Body of Christ?
A Major Sign
This convergence, I believe, is urgently summoning us in the midst of the rising tide of Islamic influence in America to recognize that our God is above every god and that if we return to Him with all of our hearts and call upon Him with fasting and prayer then God could use what the enemy meant for evil to bring about a great day of salvation for Muslims in America, of which Rifqa is but a major sign.
Here is The Call
First of all, we cannot be passive as a Church to let these kinds of developments go on without being challenged in t he spirit. Our fight is not against Muslims, it is against principalities, powers, and forces of darkness. We are calling the Church of America at the end of Ramadan, from September 21st through 25th, to five days of concerted prayer. On Monday, we must pray that God would grant supernatural wisdom to the courts so that the testimony of Jesus would be proclaimed and that the best situation for Rifqa and her family would take place. We must pray for Rifqa to be bold in proclaiming Jesus that even thousands of Muslims would hear and be awakened to the love of Christ. She has already said that this is not about her but about many Muslims coming to Jesus. We must pray for her lawyers who are being bullied, threatened, and challenged on every side. On Friday, September 25th, the Muslim Day of Prayer, we are calling the Church of America to fast and pray that Muslims would be moved by the Holy Spirit, convicted by the testimony of Christ, and even be visited by Jesus in dreams. We must pray that God would restrain the spiritual powers behind Islam and grant us the great awakening that we desperately need for America.
Let us hear the call to prayer and not miss this moment,
Lou Engle
The Call
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This email was sent to you via the MorningStar Ministries web site.
If you do not wish to receive further emails, please click here.
Posted by: speedweasel | September 20, 2009 6:36 PM
Its 8:30 in the morning on the 22nd here in Melbourne. Whose 21st of September are we talking about anyway?
Posted by: Zombie | September 20, 2009 6:39 PM
How do these people manage to type so much?
Posted by: Pharyngulette | September 20, 2009 6:39 PM
But, but... Pastor Billy. If God doesn't know and Jesus doesn't know and Man doesn't know... Er. Who does know? Who gets to flick the switch, or pull the lever or press the big red button or whatever to let out Teh Rapchure? Maybe they have a supervisor who emails them the details when it's time to go? Or maybe a clock radio clicks on?
Enquiring minds want to know!
Posted by: Damian | September 20, 2009 6:40 PM
My eyes :( Way to much backcolour..
:O This guy really really needs firefox before the world ends
Here
~Damian
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | September 20, 2009 6:41 PM
That? Worse than Time Cube? Dania, you haven't been at timecube.com for a long time.
I agree with the diagnosis of 0.8 Tc. Bo-ring.
Posted by: XD | September 20, 2009 6:43 PM
@ #103
Thanks for pulling out that gem, Owlmirror. I haven't had such a hearty laugh in ages. How is it that fundy nutjobs can unknowingly come up with such amazing humour?
Posted by: twirlgrl | September 20, 2009 6:43 PM
Like some previous posters, Sept. 21 is my birthday. It always bothered me that my birthday heralded the end of summer but if it gets to be the day the fundies disappear, that will definitely make up for it!
Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook | September 20, 2009 6:45 PM
It is 8.30am on Sept 21st here in Australia, and there's a beautiful clear blue sky with no naked Xians floating in it.
Posted by: XD | September 20, 2009 6:50 PM
By the way, if you actually want to try and read Murray's site (or TimeCube), the Readability bookmarklet helps enormously. I expect a good bottle of single-malt would help, also.
Posted by: Dale | September 20, 2009 6:52 PM
Web site coding is supposed to provide a clear separation between content and presentation. With that in mind, I'll review both sections independently here...
Content - you're doing it wrong.
Presentation - you're doing it wrong.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | September 20, 2009 6:52 PM
Ragnarök. Not pronounced the way you think it is.
That was hard to avoid. Murray tries to talk about the Bible. Ray tries to talk about physics. Need I go on?
God does know. That's what the "but the Father" bit is about.
Now, on the other hand, think about the implications for, you know, the whole Trinity concept. Or all those other passages in the Gospels that say Jesus does too know everything.
Posted by: TheVirginian | September 20, 2009 6:53 PM
I'm very glad you posted that, to give me fair warning. I'm emptying my liquor cabinet as fast as I can, until the 3 hookers I ordered show up. If any alcohol is left, I'll let them have some before we get down to some ungodly business. However, I'm saving a very nice, old bottle of Scotch for the morning. I won't feel a thing when the sky opens up and Cthulhu ... I mean, Jesus, engulfs the world in fire.
Again, thanks for the warning. I can have one last night of hedonistic, godless, quite-humanistic fun before The End.
Which reminds, where is that Doors album ...
Posted by: Dania
|
September 20, 2009 6:54 PM
Okay... maybe I was exaggerating a bit.
And you're right that I haven't been at timecube.com for a long time. I like my sanity. And my eyes.
Posted by: Ragutis | September 20, 2009 6:57 PM
I feel fine.
Posted by: XD | September 20, 2009 7:00 PM
@ #197
Style-wise, I think it's worse than TimeCube, but as far as the substance is concerned, TimeCube is 100% pure weapon's grade insanity. It's like the rantings of a verbose parrot experiencing the final stage of syphilis.
Posted by: Katkinkate | September 20, 2009 7:01 PM
Wasn't there something in the 'wholey babble' about 144 000 saints in the event the modern baptists call the rapture? That wouldn't make much difference, even if they were all taken from USA. Happy equinox, folks!
Posted by: speedweasel | September 20, 2009 7:02 PM
@speedweasel #185
OMG! /datefail
I just looked at the calendar. Yes, its the 21st. No, it's not the 22nd. Yes, its early. No, I havent had any coffee.
Shit. That means.... IT COULD ALL STILL HAPPEN!!~!
Posted by: Random Passer-by | September 20, 2009 7:03 PM
There's something wonderfully insane-sounding about the concept of a Graph Omega. It's a B-movie moment, with mad cackling in the background, or a snippet from a Saturday morning cartoon from decades past (I can't quite put my finger on which one it would be... Dangermouse, maybe).
It's desperately sad that there are people who really think these things, but there's a part of me that just finds it all really, or perhaps surreally, funny. Silly things brighten my day, and add colour to my world.
Complacency on my part?
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood | September 20, 2009 7:03 PM
David Marjanović @ 195;
" Ragnorak
Ragnarök. Not pronounced the way you think it is."
Damn it! I spelled (and have often prenounced) the name of the Norse apocalypse incorrectly.
Now I'll never get into Valhalla.
Posted by: dp | September 20, 2009 7:04 PM
@ speedweasel #185
I know 8:30am in Melbourne is probably still BC (Before Coffee), but do you really think it's the 22nd already? Over here in NZ it's still just the 21st, I think. Maybe the whole day got raptured?
Posted by: Steve Long | September 20, 2009 7:10 PM
I don't believe it either...the dolphins haven't left yet!
Posted by: articulett | September 20, 2009 7:17 PM
rapture: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg
Posted by: David | September 20, 2009 7:21 PM
Relax, I just checked outside here (in Australia) and everything is fine. New Zealand also reports no activity. So it looks like the day after the 20th in America is safe - we've survived!!
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
September 20, 2009 7:22 PM
the anorak designed for Ragnarök :-p
Posted by: drew | September 20, 2009 7:23 PM
Of course it's the end of the world.... it's Monday.
Posted by: Adam | September 20, 2009 7:29 PM
Hilarious... it's obvious that it's true, and proof that god is great. It's an inverse sin wave, the opposite of sin! PROOF! Why would it go one and a half cycles though? A full 4pi (jeebus periods?) would make more Intelligently Designed perfection. And if the rapture is in a few years, why does the evil omega go into the year 6000. The evil atheists get to run the world for 2000 years after the crazies are raptured away? hmm... I suppose I can live with that.
Posted by: speedweasel | September 20, 2009 7:31 PM
Who'd have thought that the post-lag bug on scienceblogs would serve as a rate limiting DoS counter measure against DM's crazy.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
September 20, 2009 7:31 PM
Lunar eclipses are visible over an entire hemisphere. Depending on the length of totality, they can be visible on as much as 70% of the Earth's surface. It's solar eclipses that are only visible in a small band of area.
The problem with the prediction is that the next lunar total eclipse won't occur until 21 December 2010.
Posted by: Ross | September 20, 2009 7:33 PM
Dear skeptics,
Sure these particular Christians have gone overboard with their 'calculations', but one day the Rapture will happen.
A good indication of when this might be close, is when there is a massive outbreak of scoffing, as per the apostle Peter's prediction below.
"Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, and saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water: Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished: But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men. But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:3-9
Posted by: Inky | September 20, 2009 7:33 PM
w
t
f
Posted by: Emily | September 20, 2009 7:34 PM
It's 6:34 pm Central (DST), in Houston, TX. So far no end of the world...
Posted by: SaintStephen | September 20, 2009 7:37 PM
Talk about a Hyperbolic Cosine...
Posted by: Revyloution | September 20, 2009 7:40 PM
Tomorrow is my daughters birthday. Does that mean shes the anti-christ?
Posted by: Emily | September 20, 2009 7:40 PM
Oh, wait, brain fart, I got so caught up in the preparations for THE END, I thought today was The Day. At least I have a few more hours to prepare.
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
September 20, 2009 7:43 PM
sure it will. and within your own lifetimes. just like it did within the lifetime of Paul, as he expected:
Corinthians 15:51-51
Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.
except when that didn't happen, and people started doubting the story, they invented the excuses such as the one you cited. convenient, huh?
Posted by: ShaunOTD | September 20, 2009 7:44 PM
Hang on, wasn't the rapture supposed to happen during the lifetime of Saul of Tarsus?
So it's only about two millennia overdue...
Posted by: speedweasel | September 20, 2009 7:45 PM
@Ross #215
Thats a classic piece of Godbotting right there Ross. Do you really think you will impress atheists with excerpts from your damn bible?
F - Must try harder
Posted by: Amanda | September 20, 2009 7:49 PM
Fireweaver #157...
Yes, right you are. I guess they have to try to appeal to their audience. I'm sure they did a wonderful job if you look at it from a childs perspective.
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
September 20, 2009 7:50 PM
oh yeah, I forgot to add. that quote from II Peter wasn't a prediction; it was a description of what happened when the first generation of Christians died, put retroactively into the mouth of Peter
Posted by: Peter G | September 20, 2009 7:51 PM
Good speculative omnipotent being! Look at all the work the poor bastard put into that goop. The duffus should have lost the sinusoidal curve and gone with something nicely asymptotic. At least then his site wouldn't have had an expiration date. He could have claimed the end is nearer and nearer in the limit as God's psychosis approaches infinity.
Posted by: Wes | September 20, 2009 7:58 PM
It's always fun to laugh at the lunatics. But whenever I peruse those kinds of sites, I also frequently find something which just makes me very sad. For instance:
Poignant stuff like this reminds me of how religion becomes so entrenched in the human psyche. Simple-minded, well-meaning people grasp for something--anything--to help make some sense of their lives and comfort themselves. And this just makes me even more angry with the heartless bastards in the churches who cynically exploit the ignorant and vulnerable.
Posted by: Snoof | September 20, 2009 8:07 PM
It's the end of the world as we know it... AGAIN.
Posted by: speedweasel | September 20, 2009 8:07 PM
@Peter G #228
god help me I think I actually understood all of that.
So the rapture approaches, but never actually equals 1? Genius!
Posted by: JefFlyingV, Take the A-Train | September 20, 2009 8:08 PM
Ross, does that mean Arthur will be back wielding Excalibur?
Maybe Merlin will also be making an appearance.
Posted by: SomnolentAphid | September 20, 2009 8:13 PM
Save me Jasus ! oh... wait... nevermind. just my foot went to sleep.
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
|
September 20, 2009 8:15 PM
nah; that would actually make sense, so of course they can't use it.
Posted by: anti_supernaturalist | September 20, 2009 8:20 PM
Dead-beat Dad refuses to support Son’s Vengeance Tour
PZ, you know that Jesus (aka the Christ)is such a procrastinator. He missed coming back to finish off the Roman army of occupation before the Romans destroyed Jerusalem in 70 CE. Then, for sure, the year 1000 CE was there and passed -- for a thousand years is but a "day" to the divine bureaucrats. And, then, 1250 came and went -- the forecast reign of the Son just didn't materialize. Then 1780 and . . . and . . . Y2K . . was 100% wrong. He promised BRB. But Dad has never been supportive — remember the cry from the Cross? “Dad, Dad can’t we talk through this?”
But hang in there PZ if the right-wing theocrats get back into the White House they'll want a nice nuclear war between Israel and Iran. You see? That'll hasten Jesus' return -- the Son and his 10,000 avenging angels will take nuclear Armageddon as a wake-up call.
Science makes predictions. Religions make prophecies. Ask any fundie; they'll tell you that prophecy is 100% accurate. They just can't say in advance how and when "fulfillment" will occur.
the anti-supernaturalist
Posted by: Andrew The Eternal | September 20, 2009 8:20 PM
@btj #105:
In other words...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eyFiClAzq8
Posted by: firemacnarl | September 20, 2009 8:23 PM
So, I am confused on the whole Jebus wedding thingy. Who invited him, and will all of the bridesmaids have to wear hideous dresses? Also something on his page about ravishing the bride. Sheesh, ravish the bride and then the world ends? BUZZKILL!!!!
Posted by: Ragutis | September 20, 2009 8:27 PM
Out of morbid curiosity, who is this "We" you mention, Dennis? No matter how many handles you use, it's still you, y'know.
Posted by: Peter G | September 20, 2009 8:32 PM
suppuratinghemorrhoid@234 But some goods meds and a competent psychiatric support team may save you. And, incidentally, your God blows.
Posted by: steve | September 20, 2009 8:34 PM
One day the sun will turn into a red giant and engulf the earth.
Posted by: Monado, FCD | September 20, 2009 8:39 PM
Why didn't you tell me before!!? I spent the whole beautiful day washing dishes, cleaning out the pantry, sweeping floors, recycling old papers, and taking old clothes to the Goodwill, all lowly tasks to provide future comfort. And I have a concert to go to this week.
I guess I'll just have to hope this prediction is wrong, like all 99+ previous ones.
Posted by: Bert Chadick | September 20, 2009 8:47 PM
And that was only page 17. I can only imagine what other revelations are to be found in the original document. Be still my heart.
Posted by: Nattybug | September 20, 2009 8:51 PM
I went to the rapture site and there certainly is a LOT of BLAH BLAH BLAH. Nasty color combo, too. Yeesh.:P
Posted by: steve | September 20, 2009 8:57 PM
That web page is 1,806,154 bytes and no explanation of the Y axis on the graph.
Posted by: Itakru | September 20, 2009 9:00 PM
The world's ending and I'm outta weed! OHHOLYSNAPNO!
. . . I'll have one of my friends text me tomorrow in the morning so I'm not late for work. These Apocalypse events are a real pain in the ass, you know? :P
Posted by: Peter G | September 20, 2009 9:05 PM
rectalwart@239 As you reap so shall you sew. And I'm guessing you'll be sewing lots of mailbags. Hope you enjoy the communal showers.
Posted by: Toni | September 20, 2009 9:08 PM
Elon University, huh? Their football team was trampled this weekend by Wake Forest. Church of Christ school vs. Baptist school and the Baptist's won. Has to be prophetic.
Posted by: karl | September 20, 2009 9:09 PM
I like how he writes 112 pages of text (I measured) and then decides to break it with a NEXT link.
Posted by: Brock | September 20, 2009 9:37 PM
NATURE'S TRUE HARMONIC oscillating 4-day simultaneous day PROVES that you were educated stupid and that evil teachers have brainwashed you childhood fom into forgetting THE TRUTH!
Er, sorry, wrong lunatic fringe. Where do I sing up for this "bride of Jesus" church thing? Need to know by tomorrow, 'kthx.
Posted by: Richard Smith | September 20, 2009 9:37 PM
speedweasel (#227)
Zeno's rapture paradox.
Posted by: Alec | September 20, 2009 9:43 PM
ZOMG! I never had a threesome!
Posted by: raven | September 20, 2009 9:55 PM
Great Cthulhu. IIRC, this was the cult that the people in Wisconsin who killed their kid by withholding insulin, were affiliated with.
Also, IIRC, this is a splinter group from Armstrong's Worldwide Church of God after it disintegrated into hundreds of pieces.
Posted by: Pattanowski | September 20, 2009 9:56 PM
Jesus is late for the end of the world because he's at my house. I've got him tied up in the basement. It might just be all the narcotics I injested this morning when I first read this post but Jesus looks alot like my neighbor, Jim. Anyway, have patience....I'll let him go after he listens to a few more songs and answers a few more questions.
Posted by: mythusmage
|
September 20, 2009 10:21 PM
Okay, here's the deal; the world is not going to end, it's going on hiatus. Whole thing needs a bit of retooling and crap like that. hen we return we'll be sharing the earth with hobbits (
One sign we've gone through the hiatus will be a new version of the Book of Exodus in the OT. In this new edition the Exodus will be the multi-generational story of how Shamash tribes migrated from Anatolia to Canaan, and then took advantage of the collapse of the Egyptians to infiltrate and---in time---conquer the Canaanites. Moses gets replaced by the law giver Moshe, who unites the 15 tribes into the nation of Israel and promulgates the law. Leviticus will specifically state that the prohibition against cooking a kid in its mothers milk in no way prohibits having dairy with meat, and goat cheese on pastrami will be a popular Jewish dish.
Remember, you heard it here.
Posted by: Jeremy O'Wheel
|
September 20, 2009 10:27 PM
The website doesn't say the world will end today though, just that it will start ending. The world will officially end in 2015, although in 2012 it will be destroyed by a comet. I think it might be a good idea to keep a few good books and a pack of cards with you in 2012 for the last few years.
Posted by: Krystalline Apostate
|
September 20, 2009 10:32 PM
AKA the Y5B problem.Posted by: Krystalline Apostate
|
September 20, 2009 10:49 PM
After the Greeks laughed in his face, that's a self-fulfilling prophecy - it's the equivalent of 'Now what I'm gonna say is gonna sound crazy, but..." Just surround that w/a lot of poetic rhetoric, & there ya go.Posted by: speedweasel
|
September 20, 2009 11:23 PM
@Alec #247
"ZOMG! I never had a threesome!"
It could be worse...
When I was 19 I met two beautiful young girls at my friend's beach house. We spent the summer afternoon drinking, smoking and flirting and then not long after sunset, the three of us went into the bedroom together, laid down and thats the last thing I remember. I fell asleep FFS! I woke up in the morning lying between them, with *all my clothes on*
My reputation was made amongst my friends though (who couldnt quite believe my luck) but inside I knew I had completely fumbled the fucking ball.
Its pretty funny now. Not so funny when you're a horny teenager.
Posted by: Charlie Foxtrot
|
September 20, 2009 11:58 PM
Don't panic! This is just more viral marketing for M. Night Shyamalan's new movie...
"Sines"
Posted by: Ec5618
|
September 21, 2009 12:03 AM
It should be happening right now. Is anyone noticing anything? Is anyone missing yet?
Posted by: Patricia, OM
|
September 21, 2009 12:11 AM
Well! I'm damned disappointed that Brother Smoggy & Floyd Rubber have mislead us all this whole time.
True Christian Missionary's to the Atheists
*snort*Due to your sins of bearing false witness (baring in Floyds case) pride, and sloth, you are both banned from the spanking couch* until the holy day of Yom Kippur.
Please take this time to gird your loins and get right with gawd.
*No, you don't get any massages either.
Posted by: Feynmaniac
|
September 21, 2009 12:23 AM
M. Night Shyamalan has a new movie? That may be worse than the apocalypse...
Posted by: Jparenti
|
September 21, 2009 5:11 AM
My favorite part, during his extended numerology session:
"So when you subtract the 2520 days from this date, you come to January 11, 2009 or 1/11. This was even better, everyone knew that this could be the day, especially since many people (including myself) were seeing “111” on a digital clock. When this date passed, I was not a happy camper; I want to go home to Heaven to be with Jesus!"
Of course! In 1 Corinthians, obviously, Jebus said, "'And yea, to my followers I speak of the coming of the electronic digital clock, that will upon its face show the date of my resurrection.' And his followers did asketh of their Lord, 'What the fuck is an electron?'"
I always wondered what that verse was all about...
Posted by: SQB (fuck death)
|
September 21, 2009 7:19 AM
Agentsarahjane, #162: Schneier on e-mail after the rapture, similar sites aimed at sending your unraptured loved ones the information on your bank accounts.
Posted by: Eclectic&Neurotic
|
September 21, 2009 7:42 AM
Great, I have a huge hangover. I work in 15 minutes, with a 20 minute drive ahead of me, I still haven't even showered and not a single zombie anywhere to be seen.
I blame you PZ. Although I don't think my boss will accept, "apocalypse did not happen as an excuse!".
Posted by: msconstantine.myopenid.com
|
September 21, 2009 8:09 AM
It's just rolled around to 12am on the 22nd here in NZ.
Disappointingly I'm still alive.
Posted by: AlgaeGirl
|
September 21, 2009 8:48 AM
I don't know if it's ever happened before, but PZ...You've been FARKED! Fark picked up on this little nugget and instead of linking directly to the crazy, they linked it through Pharyngula! Yay Fark!
Posted by: Patricia, OM
|
September 21, 2009 11:09 AM
Are they gone?
Posted by: Lynna, OM
|
September 21, 2009 11:24 AM
articulette @206: great link! :-) Loved the lady who played the christian woman. She was perfect for the part. "Praise the Lord." "Oh, my Lord! Sweet Jesus!" WHOMP. whoops.
Posted by: cory.albrecht.name
|
September 21, 2009 11:51 AM
OK. Everybody who was *not* Raptured, please raise your hands...
Posted by: http://fordi.org/login/
|
September 21, 2009 11:54 AM
I propose someone post a fake news story asserting that nearly 150,000 people have gone missing today, then interviewing fundagelicals on their assessment of this event.
Posted by: http://fordi.org/login/
|
September 21, 2009 12:06 PM
"When this date passed, I was not a happy camper; I want to go home to Heaven to be with Jesus!"
My guess is that he'll revise his page with even more silly, short sighted stuff.
What he doesn't understand is that, if the rapture happened, one of two things would occur:
Fundagelical idiots would get "left behind", since they are not very good christians, or
The U.S. would start working pretty smoothly, since we don't have a good 20% of our population believing in things that make them short-sighted.
Posted by: raven
|
September 21, 2009 12:46 PM
The Rapture is one of the more malevolent non-ideas of the fundie village idiots. What can anyone say about cults so mentally deficient that their idea of entertainment and intelligence is to die and sooner better than later?
It's also nonsense even in their wacky belief system. Revelations says that the 144,000 Rapturees will be "male, Jewish, virgins. Not 60 million braindead fundie cultists.
These days it is even going to be hard to find those 144,000. Who in the hell wants to be a virgin these days? I suspect the average age will be 12.
Posted by: matchesmalone.myopenid.com
|
September 21, 2009 2:38 PM
Well, it hasn't happened yet, as I'm still here to comment on your skepticism. What you need to know is that one commenter is right, no one can know the day or the hour, however, that hasn't stopped people from trying to figure out when it is. Some feel it's going to happen in 2012, as that's when the Aztec calendar ends, I believe in October. They're wrong, too.
Posted by: nitramnaed
|
September 21, 2009 2:49 PM
Still here..........Crap! We've been "RICK ROLLED"!
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
|
September 21, 2009 2:56 PM
Haha! Excellent.
Posted by: Primewonk
|
September 21, 2009 3:01 PM
Well, yesterday I posted, "If the fundiots are all gone by noon tomorrow (PDT) - drinks are on me all afternoon. And not just the cheap shit either."
It's now 12:00 pm PDT. They're still here. Damn. And to think I spent all morning getting the blenders and ice ready for Margarita's. Hosed off the deck. Filled the coolers with plenty of Dogfish Head. Organized all the single malt's by age. Chilled the white's and opened the red's to let them breathe.
Sorry guys.
I'll save it all for the next time. Sooner or later, they'll get it right?
Posted by: Zetetic
|
September 21, 2009 3:58 PM
What I find amusing by this is that Richard Dawkins' The Greatest Show on Earth is due to be released in the USA on 9-22-2009.
Maybe it brings a new meaning to "The Four Horsemen"?
;-)
Posted by: Lynna, OM
|
September 21, 2009 4:12 PM
I loved the episode of HBO's Big Love in which the wife of the FLDS Prophet says that her husband hasn't been too accurate lately with his predictions, and, as a result, she has run up her credit card debt to an unsustainable amount. With the End Times nigh, she thought it would be a safe bet to get that bedroom set she always wanted.
Posted by: Kel
|
September 21, 2009 5:48 PM
It's the 22nd here and the world didn't end.
Posted by: gyeong-hwa
|
September 21, 2009 5:53 PM
Yes it did according to this song. lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0l-GpISGBFY
Posted by: Yaallahrehem
|
September 21, 2009 6:00 PM
nobody knows when the judgment day will occur.
Brothers & Sisters only Allaah/The GOD/Single Supreme Being above/over human beings...knows best...
The Judgment Day will come for sure...but nobody knows about it...when its about to come...absolutely no human has the confirm knowledge of it....no human can accurately pridict about Judgment Day.
So pray to Your Lord Only...1 GOD is reality...there are no gods but GOD...1 GOD of all that we see and that we don't see...ask forgiveness for your sins...because everybody will face judgment day...everybody will become alive on that day and will be answerable for his/her deeds...all that he/she has done in this world, will be brought forward..
So pray to him alone and do not associate partners with The GOD/Allaah/Single Supreme Being...because there is no partner...Human beings are declared the best of all creatures by The GOD...so human will never find a better creature then itself...no matter if human finds trillions of creatures...Human Beings are the best of all creatures and thats the fact science has also proven continuously for centuries now...Evolution is big fat lie. The GOD created all the creatures and stars, galaxies, universes...all of it.....
The GOD/Allaah is observing each and everything and we will be accountable to The GOD on the Day of Judgment.
The GOD has no parents nor children. The GOD has power/authority over all things.
Pray for me and Pray for yourselves, and your families..
Peace to all. (May Allaah/The GOD bless all of us.
Posted by: Krystalline Apostate
|
September 21, 2009 7:40 PM
Matches Malone - say hey to Bruce for me, wouldja? ;)
Posted by: jo-chan
|
September 21, 2009 9:13 PM
Heh, the forums on rapture2009.org are quite amusing right now. "Oh no, you see, Rosh Hashanah really goes until tomorrow, so there's still time! And even if that doesn't work, Yom Kippor comes later in the month, so surely it'll happen then! Or maybe during some other upcoming Jewish holy days! But it's gonna be real soon now!!!"
Posted by: JackC
|
September 21, 2009 9:30 PM
There's NOPLACE like TimeCube.... There's NOPLACE like TimeCube.... There's NOPLACE like TimeCube....
JC - Still here after all these predictions.
Posted by: Aquaria
|
September 22, 2009 1:33 AM
#278:
You're one sick fuck, wishing for the death and torment of billions of people.
Piss off, moron.
Posted by: gyeong-hwa
|
September 22, 2009 1:37 AM
Oh that's interesting. We hardly ever get an Islamic fundamentalist. Aquaria's sentiments speaks for me as well.
Posted by: strange gods before me
|
September 22, 2009 1:53 AM
No way. Jinn are clearly superior.
Posted by: Ragutis
|
September 22, 2009 2:07 AM
I'd like to see you say something like that to a Muslim!
Oh. Nevermind.
Yaallahrehem, please present evidence to support your claims.
Posted by: maeritrae
|
September 22, 2009 7:03 AM
Astronomical signs prove 100% that the ending of the 7-year tribulation period is at the end of 2015!
Therefore, the beginning of the 7-year Tribulation period starts by FALL 2009!
...but...but...if you subtract seven years from 2015...you get 2008...
Posted by: justgiblets.com
|
September 22, 2009 8:29 PM
So, did I miss it? I had a busy day yesterday but totally meant to watch for The Rapture. Did it go off as planned?
Posted by: Bitsy Haywood
|
September 27, 2009 6:40 PM
hehehehehhheeeee! (*manic giggle*)
The superstitious morons have made fools of themselves one more time. If there wasn't so many of them it would be funnier.
Posted by: ron fieldman
|
September 21, 2011 3:43 AM
You think you got it made? don't you? If this really happens you will be in for a living shock! You won't be able to party or anything like that because most of the people left will be in total chaos. Mostly all evil will be in the world their will be practly no goverment or anything like that you will be too busy fighting off muggers killers ect. because they will be no rules either that or you will starve to death.
Posted by: Ichthyic
|
September 21, 2011 4:33 AM
If this really happens
uh, look at the date of the post above yours.